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Dottore was writing in a notebook he owned and wrote a quote down that he had overheard a scholar once say, “The monsters were never under my bed. Because the monsters were inside my head. I fear no monsters, for no monsters I see. Because all this time the monster has been me.”
Of course Dottore resonated with the quote even if it was written by a scholar who at the time was probably on the brink of insanity. Dottore never saw himself as a regular person. He never really saw himself as someone who was like everyone else, someone who could be like everyone else. He was different, he wasn’t sure why he was different just that he had always been that way.
Dottore had been born in a village in Sumeru that was just north of Sumeru city. It was a middle-class area and Dottore was in no way struggling to live. At least he didn’t think himself to be struggling. When Dottore was a baby he seemed normal at least. He cried and spit up on his mother like every other child did. He learned to crawl and to walk like every other child did. There was no reason for anyone in the village to think that anything was wrong with him. There was no reason for Dottore to think that there was anything wrong with himself. That all changed when Dottore was about five years old and his mother started sending him to school. Dottore or as he was known back then as Zandik, didn’t really get along with the other children. Whenever another child would tease him, he would automatically resort to violence. His mother of course would scold him, she would say “Zandik I know that they teased you but if they do that then tell the teacher. The first person who resorts to violence is the one who is in the wrong. If you don’t resort to violence then the teacher will punish the person who started it.” She would explain to young Zandik. It never seemed to get through his head.
By the time Dottore was nine, his mother was told by the school that he was way more advanced than the other children and that they weren’t really fit to teach him. At that age Dottore would then wake up early and go into the city which had a prestigious university and a large library and read to himself in the library. He became especially interested in both biology and psychology. One day when he was thirteen, he was studying late at night as he heard someone cursing, a young man who went to college in the academia. “Shit! I should have never chosen pre-med! It’s impossible! Besides, I can’t stand the dead bodies anyway!” Dottore overheard and walked over.
“Don’t you mean the cadavers? What about them bothers you so much?” Dottore asked curiously.
“It’s dead! Isn’t that creepy?!”
“The cadaver is a body, you are also a body and from my knowledge, you don’t even have to look at the face of a cadaver. It’s covered you know, out of respect.” Dottore said.
“What’s your name kid?”
That’s how Dottore got a scholarship to join the Akadamia at the age of sixteen. Before he was an official student since they couldn’t accept someone too young, he helped in some of the medical research labs with simple things keeping track of how much supplies were left after the labs were used each time. Keeping track of how long each experiment was taking and which labs were currently in use. All sorts of things like that. It could be easily said that this was the best era of Dottore’s life to date. Things were peaceful, he wasn’t expected to do a ton and he wasn’t hated. When Dottore was eighteen a few years after he started as a student is when things really started to take a turn. He loved experimenting but he was getting bored of only being allowed to use cadavers. It wasn’t like any of his research could help something that was already dead. So, Dottore decided to experiment on a living thing. Not a person but a stumpster beast. Unfortunately after injecting the stumpster beast with a variety of substances, it became violent and went on a rampage. It permanently scarred part of his face and he got in trouble for experimenting on a living thing.
Dottore since that point was whispered about and mocked. People would talk about how he made that poor creature go violent because of biohazardous chemicals. Rumors about things that weren’t even true started to spread and it was out of control to the point that it emotionally shunned Dottore. After that, he decided to start researching AI lives and technology from ancient cultures. Unfortunately, the type of technology that Dottore wanted to research was forbidden in the Akadamia. Many people still researched the technology but it was all in secret. They couldn’t conduct experiments with ancient technology under any circumstances because if they did, they would be expelled immediately. It wasn’t long before one of Dottore’s superiors caught him experimenting to reactivate an AI life form and he got reported and expelled. Dottore was an outcast just like scholars who went insane to the desert. The desert was where all the people of Sumeru who were unwanted because of one thing or another were made to go.
Dottore may have not graduated but in the desert people with any kind of medical training at all were in short supply so he was quickly sent off to work at a hospital that specialized in treatment for a terminal illness known as Elizar. The hospital was small, only 3 doctors worked there other than Dottore and they only had about twelve patients at a time. “Enough worrying about my past today,” Dottore said and closed his notebook. “After all, my work at that place was nearly twenty years ago, I am much more accomplished these days.”
Dottore sighs and looks at his side and sees his partner, Pantalone was still sleeping soundly next to him. Pantalone, he wondered why Pantalone had fallen for him of all people. He wasn’t exactly wanted back in his home region. Nobody who ended up being a harbinger was exactly someone who would be here if they had other options though and Pantalone was the ninth of the Harbingers. He wondered what Pantalone could have done to get kicked out of Luyie. Or something equivalent to being kicked out of Luyie.
To Dottore, Pantalone seemed to be a perfect and flawless being. Pantalone had fallen in love with him despite his many many flaws. He had stood by his side as an ally and a friend to all of the other Harbingers and most of all to Dottore. Dottore was at first annoyed by Pantalone's pestering to get to know him and spend time with him but he soon found himself actually enjoying Pantalone’s company which was definitely a first for him. He and Pantalone would talk about whatever they felt like and have it not be awkward. Pantalone didn’t mind him either it seemed, he kept Dottore around even when Dottore was far away in his lab, Pantalone always found a way to remind Dottore of his presence in some way whether it be increasing Dottore’s research funding or sending one of his personnel directly to his lab to deliver a letter to him. Most people who simply wondered near the lab for any reason could expect to be used in an experiment or something but Dottore would never attack the people who came bearing the symbol of the banker. Dottore needed them to deliver a reply letter back to Pantalone because sometimes, just hearing from Pantalone made him very happy.
Pantalone was shirtless in Dottore’s personal chambers still sleeping in the bed. Dottore wasn’t wearing his mask at the time, he let Pantalone see him mask less but he only let Pantalone see him that way. He only let Pantalone know any part of him that seemed intimate and to Dottore, his own face was a very intimate matter. Pantalone never judged though, in fact, Pantalone had called him beautiful on many occasions and although that instantly made Dottore decide that the Regrator had really strange tastes, he was still thankful for it.
Even Dottore didn’t truly understand the extent of his feelings for Pantalone or what their relationship truly meant. All he knew was that to him, Pantalone was someone he could never ever lose. He valued Pantalone more than he had ever valued a person. He had chosen to protect Pantalone after realizing that he thought he was so important.
The first time that Dottore and Pantalone had kissed it had been Pantalone who initiated the kiss. Dottore was somewhat clueless when it came to starting anything romantic and or sexual well, at least he used to be. He wasn’t so clueless any more thanks to the beautiful man sleeping next to him. Pantalone had kissed him gently the first time and it had really surprised Dottore. Such a gentle and loving touch from another was not something that he was ever expecting to receive. He hadn’t expected it from anyone much less someone who he actually had an interest in back. “I am not a good man Pantalone…Why do you care for me in such a way knowing the things I have done? Knowing that I am not good. Why would you choose me?” He remembered asking. He also remembered Pantalone’s response,
“I too work for the Fatui Dottore, I too am a harbinger. It isn’t as if I am some kind of saint while you are some devil. We are both tainted on a level. Neither of us are perfect in fact, we are less close to perfect than others but it doesn’t mean we aren’t deserving of love. It doesn’t mean we can’t have feelings of affection Dottore and I know it doesn’t mean that because I have developed feelings of affection towards you.” After that statement, it had been Dottore’s turn to initiate a kiss.
Dottore smiles and chuckles softly at the memory and he then felt Pantalone’s arms pull Dottore closer. “Mmm what are you thinking about so early Zandik? Did you wake up to write in your notebook again? You seem to quite like the notebook that I got you. At this rate soon we will have to buy more paper for it. It is made so blank paper can be added to the notebook when it’s close to full.”
Dottore sighs, it’s a relaxed sound that is rare from the doctor. “I did write in it and it still has plenty of paper left. It’s just nice to keep a record of my memories who knows? Perhaps one day I look back at the things I wrote and use them for science?” Dottore smiles softly and Pantalone gently ruffles Dottore’s hair.
“Isn’t it too early for science dear? I haven’t even put on my glasses yet.”
“It’s never too early for science dear.”
“Right…let’s agree to disagree.”
“No shirt last night?”
“It wasn’t clean, you know how I feel about anything unsanitary Dottore.”
“Trust me, I know. Who do you think harasses me to clean my lab after all? I have cleaned so many lab messes made by the segments in order to appease you.”
“Perhaps a lesson on cleaning is in order for your segments Dottore.”
“It would be quite a show to see if the segments will listen about something that they don’t want to do. They are created to be helpful with maintaining knowledge and certain biological and medical practices. They won’t show interest in things beyond that. Like a classroom of thirteen-year-olds learning how to do a complex algebraic equation that they will never need to do again even if they pick a math-based education route.”
“It’s something we can take eventually. For now, however, I just want to be with you. You smell nice Dottore, did you use the new shampoo I bought?”
“I did and I’m glad you noticed. You seemed quite excited picking out a shampoo specifically for my hair.”
“Well, the scent suits you and besides, you needed a better shampoo for your hair.” Pantalone buries his head in Dottore’s hair. It was a soft gesture. The two of them were really relaxed and happy with the other. Pantalone loved being there just smelling his hair and relaxing with Dottore. Dottore was so sweet to him at times like this. Pantalone wished that this moment in Dottore’s arms could last forever. Dottore wished so too. “You seem to be thinking too hard this morning my dear, stop that.” Pantalone kisses Dottore which stops his thoughts completely. No matter how many times Pantalone had kissed him, the kisses always took his breath away completely.
“Lone…” he sighed happily “Lone let me take all your clothes off.” Pantalone laughs.
“Well, that certainly got someone excited. Come here Dottore, I don’t mind.” Dottore takes off Pantalone’s pj pants and blushes.
“You know how I feel about these panties dear…were you expecting this to happen?” Pantalone chuckles.
“I had indeed hoped it might.”
“You are a sly man, Pantalone, I love that about you.”
“I’m no more sly than you my dear.” Dottore bends down and licks the front of his lacey panties and earns a pleasured whimper from Pantalone. “Dottore~!” Dottore laughs.
“Now now dear, you are the one who turned me on like that, I am merely having a normal reaction to your little ploy.” Dottore had been shirtless too and he removed his own pants and bent back down and kept licking at Pantalone’s lace panties.
“Dottoreeee!~” Dottore laughs and bites at Pantalone’s lower stomach gently and leaves hickies there. He is always so sensitive there and Dottore loves it. Dottore looks at Pantalone while leaving hickies and Pantalone closes his eyes and blushes embarrassed. “Ah~ Hah~ Zandik~”
“Using my real name already? You are so desperate for me aren’t you ~”
“Zandikkkkk!!”
“Alright, Alright I’ll take off the panties now.” Pantalone whines and Dottore takes them off. Pantalone’s dick springs up excitedly. “That’s unbelievably hot.”
“Did you just call my penis hot?”
“Yea, and I’m not sorry.” Dottore pushes Pantalone so he is laying down more. “Just enjoy dear~” Dottore licks up Pantalone’s shaft which earns a needy whine from the other man.
“Dottore please~ M-Mmm~”
“Please what?” Dottore asked with a smirk.
“Gods Dottore, can we get in the sixty-nine position? I wanna suck you too.” Dottore didn’t hesitate and he took off his boxers and laid in the position opposite to Pantalone and started sucking him off. Pantalone gasps and moans very loudly. “Zandik~ Zandik ~” Pantalone’s moans made Dottore hard and Pantalone got to work. He started sucking on Dottore’s cock which made Dottore moan around Pantalone’s own cock. Pantalone’s gasped and came in Dottore’s mouth. Dottore swallows all of it and pulls his own cock out of Pantalone’s mouth.
“I’m gonna fuck you, I’m gonna fuck you.” Dottore growls and lines up with Pantalone and slams into him without preparing him. Lucky for Pantalone they did this last night.
“AHHH!! ZANDIK!!!~” Pantalone gasps and moans then cries a little from overstimulation as Dottore started stroking his dick at some point too Pantalone couldn’t remember when but that didn’t matter. Dottore waits to move and leaves little kisses and hickeys all over Pantalone’s neck. Pantalone wanted Dottore to move already.
“You are tightening like my little slut~ gods above Lone I love you, you feel so~ hngg~ Lone you feel so good~”
“Ha~ hah~ Dottore ~ Dottore move already~” Dottore obeyed. He started thrusting in and out of Pantalone. He gently pinched his thighs as he thrusted into him making Pantalone’s legs shake.
“Mine, you are mine~” Dottore thrust into him and listened to his moans. Pantalone sounded so beautiful and Pantalone was his. Pantalone moaned loudly and came again and Dottore groaned. “Inside? You want me to cum inside?”
“M-Mhm! ~ yes!~” Dottore nodded and came inside of Pantalone before pulling out and collapsing next to him.
“Lone, that was indescribable oh archons Lone every time you are even more perfect somehow.”
“Ah~ you too Zandik ~”
“I wish we knew your real name, Since we don’t, You get to be my Lone.”
“Mmm, I love being your Lone.”
“And I love being your full-time problem and part-time soulmate.” Dottore laughs at his joke.
“Mmm you should be my full-time soulmate too dear.”
“And how do you propose that? You move into my lab?”
“I marry you.” Dottore’s eyes got wide and he grabbed Pantalone tightly.
“Say that again.”
“I want to marry you Zandik.”
“Again.”
“Zandik let’s get married.”
“Tell me again Lone.”
“How many times do you need to hear it?!” Pantalone laughs. Dottore kisses Pantalone passionately.
“Tell me again, please.”
“I want to marry you Zandik, please”
“Yes. Yes, I do, I will, I’ll marry you my Lone my precious beautiful amazing Lone.” Pantalone kisses Dottore passionately.
“I will get you a ring and propose properly at some point dear don’t worry.”
“I don’t mind as long as you are mine.”
“Well, then I guess now you are my full-time problem and soulmate?”
“Yes, yes I am.” Dottore cuddled Pantalone as the sun rose the past no longer mattered. The only thing that mattered now was his future with Pantalone.