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With every step Wylan’s feet felt heavier. After weeks working at the tannery he had hoped the work would eventually get easier. But in truth every day was harder. Probably because his wage barely covered the cost of the required amount of food to even feed a small body like Wylan’s properly. He still had some of the money left Brekker had given him for the bombs, but the boy was cautious how he spent it. He wasn't sure if Brekker would ask him for another job and even if he did Wylan was not sure if he would accept. At first he hadn't even considered the proposal from the so-called Bastard of the Barrel. He had some ideas what Brekker would do with the bombs and he wanted nothing to do with that. But once the young man had mentioned the sum he was willing to pay for Wylan's work he had accepted, his thoughts only on the food he would be able to afford, at least for a little while. But now that his belly was filled enough to allow anything besides hunger pains, Wylan's conscience was eating him alive. Sometimes at night he woke up covered in his own sweat thinking about the harm his work had probably done.
Maybe that was the real reason why he hadn't touched Brekker’s money for two weeks now and had gone back to only buy what his wage from the tannery allowed. But he knew soon the hunger would be back to cloud his mind enough to put his morals aside for a warm meal.
The thought alone made his mouth water. He did not miss a lot about home, but he really missed the food served at the Van Eck household.
Home, Wylan had to smile at that thought. The Van Eck house hadn't felt like home for years. Home had died with his mother eight years ago. Now Wylan had no home. Not as Wylan Van Eck or as Wylan Hendriks, as he called himself nowadays.
The little room he had been able to afford wasn't a home either. Yes, it was where he lived. And it was a place he had gotten all by himself. But it wasn't home, it would never be. He even called it his workshop, knowing it was nothing more than that. He had crammed a bed in there, but that did not make it a home. A home should be warm and friendly and not lonely.
Loneliness. Wylan had always thought he knew what that meant. Even back when he had still felt his father's love, Wylan had been alone. Servants and tutors left and right but not a single soul to have fun with. Not another child to play with. Looking back now on these days he had to laugh about his own stupidity. His time in the Barrel had shown him another kind of loneliness. The kind that came from not being able to trust anyone. Even if he met someone it would not cure the loneliness he was feeling. He would never be able to tell who he really was. And even if he managed to keep it a secret he would always look back over his shoulder expecting one of his father's men ready to end what they had failed to do a few months ago. He knew that his father knew he was alive. Wylan could not read, but he remembered enough to know the letters he had been getting the past weeks had been from his father. A cruel joke only Wylan would understand.
The sound of a gunshot brought him out of his thoughts and back to reality. Had he had a second to think he would have cursed himself for getting this lost in thoughts while walking the streets of Ketterdam at night. After all those weeks he knew better than this! But Wylan did not have this second because as soon as he looked up he saw a boy running towards him. He was dressed in a dark suit and was wearing a top hat. His head was turned back, looking at whatever was behind him, so Wylan could not see his face. Though the more problematic consequence of this was that the boy didn't see Wylan until he had bumped into him. He found himself under the boy the next moment. Dark grey eyes met his. Familiar eyes, but Wylan had no time to dwell on that. Before he could say anything the boy had grabbed his hand and had pulled him und and with him into one of the unlight side alleys, the kind of streets Wylan usually tried to avoid. The boy took off his hat and threw it on the floor before pulling one of his guns out of the holster. Wylan watched him, too shocked to say or do anything. Was this how he would die? Had Jan Van Eck finally found a way to rid himself of his useless son? A bullet, Wylan could not fight. Getting shot in a dark alley by a total stranger, Wylan could not fight. He was at this stranger's mercy whether he liked it or not. And that only because of a few seconds of not paying attention to his surroundings. That was how people got killed in the Barrel. Wylan had known that and still he had allowed his thoughts to drift. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“You can't hide Fahey”, he could hear a deep male voice. Fahey? He knew that name. Maybe he wasn't a stranger after all. Wylan looked up to finally get a look at the young man’s face when another gunshot pulled away his attention. It sounded like it had come from another alley, but he had felt the gun in the man’s hand kickback. It had to had come from the gun that was closer to him right now than Wylan had ever wanted to be to a gun.
In the next moment his face was pulled to face the person in front of him and he felt lips on his own after having heard a “forgive me”. The stranger did not kiss him, not really. He just held their lips pressed together and used his other hand to position Wylan’s smaller body so that it covered most of his taller one.
“There”, he heard another voice saying. “He went this way, boss.”
As soon as the footsteps of multiple people had disappeared into the direction, the gunshot had been heard from, the stranger let go of him. Wylan found himself once again looking into grey eyes. But this time he knew exactly who the eyes belonged to: Jesper Fahey. He was one of the men working for Kaz Brekker. In fact he was the very man that had visited Wylan at the tannery to bring him Kaz Brekker’s offer just three weeks earlier. Jesper did not look like he remembered Wylan. It wasn't surprising. With his small build, his brown eyes and hair, the pale dirty clothes and the exhausted facial expression he was not remarkable in any way. A hundred boys in the Barrel looked like him. Something Wylan actually appreciated after his father had tried to have him murdered. It was better to blend in, safer.
But Jesper Fahey was not like that. He was not unremarkable. He stood out. The dark skin, the fine clothes and the cocky grin. Forgetting Jesper was hard. Impossible maybe even. Especially for Wylan. After all being offered a job by Kaz Brekker had changed his life. So how could he ever forget the man that had told him about this?
“Forgive me. I didn't mean to drag you into this. They have been chasing me for a few miles now and I was running out of ideas”, he said with an apologetic grin. Whatever Wylan wanted to answer got stuck in his throat as soon as he saw the warmth in that grin. He swallowed hard. “Your…hat”, he stuttered pointing at the now dirt covered hat. Why this was what came to his mind first he could not explain. He could have said anything: Hi, No problem!, Are you okay? Instead he went for hat . Jesper’s grin got wider as he leaned down and picked it up. “Would have given me away to easily”, he explained while dusting it off. Wylan looked away trying to regain the power over his vocal cords. “Why were they chasing you?” As soon as he had managed the sentence he looked back at the young man, not wanting to appear rude. Even in the darkness he could see his cheeks flush a little. “I might have accumulated a small gambling debt over the last few hours.” Wylan resisted an eye roll. Here he was dressed like the king of the barrel himself gambling away money while Wylan had barely enough to feed himself. Maybe working for Brekker really did make one rich. At least rich enough not to starve.
“I am Jesper by the way”, he introduced himself and took a step back to offer his hand. Immediately Wylan could feel the cold night air brushing the places Jesper’s body heat had warmed a moment ago. “Wylan”, he actually managed to say before shaking the offered hand. Jesper nodded before letting go and putting on his hat. It did hurt a little that even after mentioning his name the zemeni boy still did not remember him. He pushed it away, deciding not to let this though ruin the moment. It was better this way, he told himself. The less people knew him, the safer he would be here.
“Wylan”, Jesper let the name dance on his tongue as if he was trying to remember something. Wylan held his breath and watched him curiously. But then he just smiled again and said: “I think I like that name.” He felt both disappointed and relieved to still not be recognized.
“Well, thank you Wylan. You might have saved my neck tonight.”
“I really didn't do anything. Nothing that requires a thank you.”
Jesper raised a brow. “A total stranger dragged you into the corner and kissed you. You could have screamed and given us away but you didn't. Very brave. That deserves a thank you, don't you think?”
“Or maybe I am just stupid.” Wylan tried to laugh, to pretend he was joking.
“You don't seem like the stupid kind to me.”
Now it was Wylan that could not stop himself from blushing.
“I better go now before they realize they are running in the wrong direction.” Jesper readjusted his hat and started to walk. A panic came over Wylan. He did not want Jesper to just go. He could not explain where this was coming from, but before he could stop himself he said: “I think you actually owe me. For saving your neck.”
Silence.
For a few seconds Wylan could listen to his own heart beating in his chest loudly. What was he thinking? Then Jesper turned around, a big smile on his face. “I think you're right.”
Slowly Wylan nodded, feeling his body relax again, just to tense up again as soon as Jesper came nearer again. “What do you have in mind?”, he asked, looking down on him. For moment he thought the zemeni boy would touch his cheek now, but he didn’t. He just kept looking at him with that bright smile.
The moment was broken by Wylan’s stomach announcing its emptiness. “Dinner?”, he said, his mind a little clouded by hunger. Jesper nodded. “That would be a fitting reward, I agree. Slight problem though. I don’t actually have any money at this point.”
Of course. Wylan could have puzzled that together himself. A person running away from gambling debts wasn’t likely to have any Kruge on them.
“All I can offer is my charming company.” He lifted his hat and bowed, making Wylan giggle. “Okay, your company it is”, he said before he could stop himself. Jesper put his hat back on and nodded. “Alright, Willow, what are we going to do?”
“Wylan.”
“Right…Wylan…I remembered that.”
Wylan looked around. “Where can we actually go where they won’t find you?” Jesper was lost in thought for a few seconds before a small grin passed his lips. “I know a place. Are you up for a surprise?”
“Another one? Boring is not part of your lifestyle, is it?”
A big smirk appeared on his lips. “Never. So, you’re in?”
He nodded and followed Jesper out of the alley.
While walking he had to use all his strength to not overthink what he was doing here. Getting close to someone like Jesper Fahey was dangerous. Especially for someone like Wylan, someone who needed to disappear to survive. Why then could he not stop himself from wanting to be near the zemeni boy? He didn’t even know him and yet he felt like an invisible force drew them closer.
“So how did you get this much in debt?”, he asked after a while. He couldn’t really say if he did that to distract from his own thoughts or because he wanted to listen to Jesper’s voice. It was soothing, like a melody. Some voices sounded like an untuned violin, but not Jesper Fahey’s. At least not to Wylan.
“Ohh that, that is just a…habit of mine. Luck usually isn’t on my side but that doesn’t really stop me from testing it. I guess I just like the thrill.”
“The thrill of being chased through Ketterdam by people who want your head?”
A bright laughter filled the street. “Not quite what I meant but yes, that too. But I don’t believe they wanted my head. If I die they won't get their money. Still I would rather not find out what they will do if they catch me.” Wylan listened carefully, overthinking every word. The thought of someone actually enjoying running for their life was something that had never crossed his mind. The last few months had been the hardest of Wylan’s life. Everywhere around him he felt shadows. No matter where he was he felt unsafe, feeling the need to look over his shoulder twice. He did not enjoy this survival mode at all. But Jesper seemed to thrive on it, to crave it even.
He looked up to study the tall boy’s face. “How can you be so cool about this? I could not imagine actually seeking danger like that.” Jesper looked down, studying his as well. “You are new to the Barrel, aren't you? Well, you will get used to it, eventually. We all did.”
He looked away, almost ashamed. If he wanted to blend in and be a part of the Barrel he really needed to try harder. There was no place here for Wylan Van Eck. He could change his name as much as he wanted but he still was the useless spoiled kid of a rich merchant. For Wylan Hendriks to survive, Wylan Van Eck had to die. He knew that and in truth he had never enjoyed being a Van Eck. Why then was it so hard for Wylan to let go of him?
“That obvious?”, he asked, his voice barely a whisper. Jesper did hear him though, the little smile on the boy’s lips told him so. He stopped and reached down to tuck on Wylan’s collar. “You do look the part.” His hand remained there a few seconds longer than necessary. Long enough to create tension between them. They broke it with a laugh. Then Jesper took a step back and held up his hands. “Here we are! This place has the best stroopwafels in Ketterdam.” Wylan looked at the establishment behind the boy. Had he not pointed it out, he would not have figured this to be a place to get food. In fact he would have never believed this to be a place one could just enter. But he wasn’t actually surprised Jesper knew a place like this.
"Stroopwafels? For dinner?”, he asked with an eyebrow raised. Jesper right away got a little defensive. “Do not mock what you have not tried.” Then his gaze softened again as he held out a hand for Wylan. The shorter boy was not sure if he was expected to actually take it, although he wanted to, so he just nodded and walked towards the door. As soon as he saw the disappointment on Jesper’s face he felt the desire to be swallowed by the ground. Why was he always so much in his head? He could have just taken it, but no, Wylan had to overthink this situation and had disappointed them both by hesitating. Great.
Without another word they entered. It was the kind of establishment Wylan would have never dared to enter on his own. But with Jesper by his side he felt weirdly safe. Maybe that was because of the two guns in the young man’s holster but it felt like it was more than that. It was something Wylan could not put his finger on.
“You get the stroopwafles and I get us a table?”, Jesper suggested. Wylan looked around, taking in the room. It was crammed with tables and decoration. And to his surprise every single table was full. Apparently many people knew about this place. He frowned and looked back at the taller boy. “I don’t think there is a table left for us”, he stated. Jesper just winked at him. “I have my methods”, he said while walking away. Wylan shook his head laughing and did as he was told.
A few minutes later he had actually managed to get a plate of the apriced waffles. Getting the barkeeper to pay attention to him, so he could order, had been a lot harder than anticipated. The room was very loud and Wylan’s voice was neither loud nor strong. His father always told him “Speak up, boy! Or you will never make it.” whenever Wylan had opened his mouth. Little did he know that Wylan’s voice would be the least of his problems.
He turned around to look for Jesper, who already waved at him from across the room. Had he watched him? He pushed the thought out of his mind and walked over to the zemeni. He had indeed organized them a table, and not a bad one. It was in a corner that seemed as quite as one would find in a place like this. The question how the young man had managed that was another thing he decided not to dwell on.
“Yes”, Jesper exclaimed excitedly when Wylan put the plant between them on the table. “You first, I want to see your face when you taste them”, he said and leaned back, arms crossed. Wylan picked one of the stroopwafels up and took a cautious bite, feeling Jespers gaze on him. As soon as the sweetness hit his tongue he hungrily took another bite, a bigger one this time. “Told you”, said Jesper before taking one himself. Wylan smiled at him. He hadn't eaten something so delicious since he had left the Van Eck household. Not even when he had gotten the money from Kaz Brekker had he allowed himself such a treat like this. Maybe that fact alone made them even better.
For a while they just ate in comfortable silence. When Wylan reached for a second one Jesper looked up and studied him. “Can I ask you something?” Wylan nodded before biting into the stroopwafel. “Why do you smell so bad?”
He almost choked on the half-chewed bite. “Does that line usually work for you?”, he managed, trying to hide his pain. Jesper laughed.
“I didn't mean it like that, sorry. I am just genuinely wondering. You are quite pretty. But the smell…”
He managed to finally swallow the bite. Had Jesper just called him pretty? Yes, it was hidden within an insult but he seemed to genuinely mean it. “I am apprenticing at the tannery. And these are my work clothes”, he explained, not mentioning that his so-called work clothes were the only ones he had.
Jesper smiled and took another stroopwafel for himself. “Ahhh that makes sense. I usually avoid the place as best as I can. Mostly because of the smell.”
Wylan studied him closely. If he didn’t remember him now, he probably never will. If he was honest at this point he would prefer if Jesper didn’t. Explaining why he didn’t remind him right away would be awkward and besides that he would rather not have Jesper know that he had been working for Kaz Brekker as well. Remaining two strangers that meet by chance in the middle of Ketterdam was the better story anyway.
“When I needed money they were the only ones taking me. And the work isn’t so bad.” That was a lie, and Jesper knew it. But he was polite enough not to point this out and just nodded. People in the Barrel had done worse things for money than stir bad smelling baths. He wondered what Jesper had done for his money. It was no secret in which kind of business his employer was involved. Had he ever hurt a person? Killed a person? He probably wasn’t wearing those guns for show and he clearly knew how to use them.
“Are you okay?”, a voice brought Wylan out of his thoughts. Quickly he nodded, taking the last bite of the stroopwafel. Jesper studied him for a few seconds before smiling. “I know what you need. A little bit of liquid courage.” Wylan knew exactly what the zemeni meant by “liquid courage” but he was not sure if he liked the idea. He had had alcohol before. More than once his father had offered him a little bit of whiskey when they had had guests – everything to appear like a father who loved his son in front of people – and Wylan had always accepted. But he had to admit he had never actually liked that. And it had not given him courage. In fact it had just intensified his shame.
“I don’t know”, he started, not quite having landed on an excuse yet. Jesper misinterpreted his hesitation and got up. “Don’t worry about the money. I will get us some.”
Jesper Fahey had a smile that could get Wylan to do everything. It scared him a little how quickly he nodded in agreement while knowing full well that this would not end well. “Okay”, he managed, already cursing himself.
The minutes it took for Jesper to return Wylan had thought about just leaving at least three times. But in truth he did not want to leave Jesper. He wanted to keep talking to him. He wanted to be near him. He hadn’t felt like this with someone in a long time. So he couldn’t help the smile sneaking on his lips when the boy returned with two glasses in his hands.
“How did you get these?”, Wylan asked. A wide smirk crawled upon Jesper’s lips. “I flirted with the barkeeper until she gave me these for free.”
“I could hardly get her to pay attention to me when I was ready to actually pay.”
“What can I say? I know how to talk to girls.”
“Just girls?” Before he could stop himself the words had left his lips. For a moment there was silence and he felt Jesper’s gaze on him as if he was trying to figure out what Wylan meant by that question. Then he leaned a little forward, looking into Wylan’s eyes. The shorter boy swallowed. “No”, he said, a grin once again passing his lips. “Not just girls.”
There was tension between them. Wylan wanted to say something. Something flirty, something bold. Anything to show Jesper he was indeed interested in more than just talking – something that only now Wylan had realized himself – but his mind was empty. All he could think about were the grey eyes penetrating him, leaving him utterly speechless.
Then the moment was over and Jesper leaned back. Wylan breathed out, only now noticing he had held his breath. A laugh broke the intense energy between them. The zemeni boy lifted the glass and waited for Wylan to do the same. Together they downed their shots.
Feeling the alcohol running down his throat brought back memories. For a second he felt like he was back at the Van Eck house. He could feel the fireplace warming his back and hear the deep laughter of the adults around him. He felt his father’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing him tight enough to leave a bruise, while telling their guests what a talented boy Wylan was. Lies. All lies.
“Hey, are you okay there?”, Jesper’s voice brought him back into the here and now. “Looks like you spaced out there.” Wylan looked into his eyes while taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I am fine. It was just a little stronger than expected.” Maybe Wylan was a liar too, just as his father.
Jesper nodded, not convinced. “You want to get out of here? It’s pretty stuffed here. I can hardly breathe myself.” For a few seconds he watched the taller boy, trying to figure out if this was Jesper being kind or trying to get rid of him. He wouldn’t blame him if he did. Picking up a bad smelling weird little kid was certainly not what he had planned for this evening. But the grey eyes held his gaze, as if studying him just as intensely in return.
“Yes, that sounds good”, he said while nodding. Jesper was the first one to get up, holding once again out a hand for Wylan to take. This time he did not overthink it, he just reached out and put his own into Jesper’s. A small smile passed the other’s lips as their skin touched. Maybe this evening would end with a hookup after all, even if Wylan had behaved like an idiot for most of it.
When they were out on the street Jesper let go of him, but stepped close enough Wylan could feel his warmth. “So what now? I came up with this place so I think it is your turn now.”
As soon as Jesper had finished his sentence Wylan’s lips had met his. He could not say if it was the alcohol speaking or the fear that the other boy would leave that compelled him to do this. All he knew was that it felt amazing. The kiss was brief and gentle, giving Jesper the chance to pull away. He didn’t. Not even when Wylan had broken the kiss did he move back.
“I see”, he said, a smile on his lips. In the next second he had pushed Wylan against the wall of the building behind them and their lips crashed together. The kiss was so passionate Wylan would not have been surprised if he had started to undress him right here. He didn’t, but he did press his body so close against Wylan’s that he feared to be crushed any second.
When he was almost dizzy from the lack of oxygen they broke apart. “My place isn’t far”, Jesper said between short breaths. “If you want?” Wylan nodded, not having enough air in his lungs to speak yet. With a wide grin he leaned his forehead against the shorter boy’s. Then he took his hand and pulled him with him.
Getting to said place took a lot longer than anticipated because they stopped every now and then for another kiss. Both so eager to find relief it would not have surprised him if they had just done it in an alley. But Jesper seemed very determined to get to a real room before any undressing started.
Wylan recognized the place immediately. The Crow Club. Kaz Brekker’s establishment. Of course he already knew who Jesper was working for, but he had not expected the boy to actually live there. Apparently their working relationship was more committed than expected.
Jesper guided them to the back entrance, something Wylan was truly thankful for. At this hour the place was still packed and he was not really in the mood of running into Brekker. Explaining what he was doing with Jesper was uncomfortable enough but more than that he still wasn’t sure if he had done the right thing in making those bombs so he had decided to avoid Brekker all together until he had figured out his feelings.
As soon as the door behind them was closed Jesper once again pulled him into a passionate kiss. Instead of navigating them to the stairs he started to open Wylan’s waistcoat. “Shouldn't we go to your room”, he said between the kisses, trying to push the taller boy towards the stairs. Jesper just smiled and continued. “Don't worry the guests never come to the backstairs.”
Wylan resisted an eye roll. He could not tell Jesper that it wasn't actually the guests he was worried about or being seen at all. In all honesty he couldn't care less if anyone saw them, as long as that person was not Kaz Brekker.
He felt Jesper’s lips moving down to his neck, still not showing any signs that he plans on continuing walking. “Jesper”, he tried to reason with him again before he would lose his own mind completely in the boy’s touch. He pushed him away, in the hopes to get him to look at him. It worked, but he found himself looking into very confused eyes. “Did you change your mind about this?”, he asked worried. The way he said it made Wylan only want him more. For a second Kaz was forgotten and all he wanted was to feel those lips on him again. But in time he came back to his senses.
“No”, he said while shaking his head. “I want this. But not here.” A smile passed Jesper’s lips. “Ohhh don't worry. We need a bed for what I have planned”, he whispered before continuing the kiss. Hands traveled down Wylan’s side, over his butt, before Jesper picked him up. Automatically he wrapped his legs around him. Not having eaten properly for weeks had left Wylan on his lowest body weight so no wonder Jesper was able to carry him like it was nothing.
Finally they had arrived at the room. Wylan though did not have the time to take a look around. Now that they were actually alone Jesper wasted no time to get him undressed. Wylan's waistcoat and shirt went first, followed by Jesper's upper clothing. They hadn't even made it to the bed. Jesper had just put him down when they had arrived and pressed him against the door.
Hands grabbed his waist and pushed him closer, making their burning skins touch. With every second Wylan felt like he was losing more control over his body. All the blood had already traveled down, leaving a blissful fog in his head and pressure in his pants. He could feel Jesper's erection as well, so close they were pressed together. His own hands had found their way into the boy's hair. The curls felt amazing between his fingers. Wylan hadn't felt something like this before and he wanted to never let go.
When they started to run out of air their lips separated again. Jesper took Wylan's hand and pulled him with him towards the bed. At least that was what he suspected, since he hadn't actually looked. Besides the room being pitch dark his eyes were fixed on the zemeni boy. He tried to remember every inch of him.
In the middle of the room they stopped. Jesper put one hand on his cheek and made him look up. “Have you done this before?”, he asked. Wylan nodded, maybe a little too slow to be convincing. He wasn't lying. This was not the first time he had sex with a boy. But his last successful encounter had been a while back. And even back then they had been sparse.
“What do you usually prefer?”
Wylan blinked. Never before had he been asked this. Never before had he thought about this. Usually he just did what his partners wanted. Usually there wasn't a talk. Usually they just went ahead and did it. “I…”, he started. “I dont -” He stopped himself. Telling Jesper he doesn't know might make the boy think he was dealing with a virgin. “I don't mind either way.”
Even in this darkness he could see the frown on the boy's face and the judgment in his eyes. “Are you sure you have done this before?”, he asked. This was actually more of an accusation.
Wylan closed his eyes. Great . Now he was right where he didn't want to end up.
“It's nothing to be ashamed of. I just need you to be honest with me now.” He said after Wylan didn't reply. His voice was a little softer this time, but still demanding.
He took a little step back before saying. “The men I…the guys…I never got to choose the position.” Wow. Wylan was pretty sure he had never sounded this pathetic in his entire life. If Jesper now kicked him out he wouldn't be surprised.
But he didn't. He just let out a quiet “oh” and came a step closer. “I see.” His hand found Wylan's and intertwined their fingers. His lips moved to Wylan’s neck and softly kissed it. “And what did you enjoy more?”, he whispered into his ear. The way his breath brushed his skin made the boy weak. He wished Jesper would still hold him, so his legs could give in. But this time he had to support them on his own.
“Giving?” He moved to the other ear. “Or receiving?”
It had happened before that a man had rejected him after he had said what he wanted. Ever since Wylan had been very cautious to demand anything. But Jesper's scent and touches made him dizzy, letting him forget all these worries. “Receiving”, he breathed. His voice wasn’t a voice anymore, he was too aroused for that. Still, Jesper understood.
“Alright”, he whispered before softly biting into the shorter boy’s ear. Hands started to undo the buttons of his trousers. Wylan reached out wanting to do the same with Jesper’s lower garments but he was stopped. Not putting up a fight he let go and stood still while the zemeni continued his work.
When he came up again, after having fully undressed Wylan, their lips met. He had expected to feel a little ashamed being naked in front of such a good looking boy as Jesper was, but he didn’t. Maybe it was the darkness, maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the way he gave him the feeling he could trust him. Not that really mattered because with Jesper’s tongue in his mouth it was impossible to have any rational thoughts.
The kiss broke and he was shoved back. For a second he felt panic, as his body fell but then he was welcomed by a soft mattress.
“Have you stretched yourself before?”, Jesper asked. Wylan nodded in response. Luckily the taller boy was able to see that in this darkness because he really wasn’t sure if he was still able to speak at this point.
He could hear footsteps walking away from the bed, leaving Wylan there alone for a few moments. The boy didn’t waste any time. It wasn’t the first time he used his own spit instead of the oil he had back at his place. It didn’t work as good as the oil of course but with enough stimulation it had never given Wylan any problems.
When his third finger entered he felt Jespers presence above him. He swallowed as the grey eyes met his gaze. He wasn’t sure if three fingers were enough since he hadn’t actually seen the other’s length but he was tired of waiting. Wylan took his fingers out and reached for Jesper’s hand to pull him onto the bed. The boy understood and joined him with a wide grin. Their lips meet again for another passionate kiss. Ohh , how he had missed them.
Jesper didn’t stay long on his mouth but moved to his neck. Wylan was sure these kisses would leave a mark that he would carry for the next few days. But he didn’t mind. It would be something to remember this night, this feeling. He hadn’t felt this desired in months. Every touch and every kiss calmed and excited him in equal measure. If he was honest he wasn’t sure if he had ever felt this good before. The way Jesper touched him was so different to the men before. He cared about Wylan’s pleasure as much as his own. Never before had someone done that.
Wylan traced along his body with his hands, wanting to feel every inch of him. Only now did he realize that Jesper had taken off his trousers. He let his fingers stroke over the boy's buttocks down to his length. He was already hard. Slowly he wrapped his hand around it. Jesper’s breathing got more intense and he felt his body twitch from the touch. Wylan started to move his hand up and down. As a response he felt Jesper’s teeth grabbing some of his skin. Wylan bit down on his own lip. Jesper wasn’t even touching him yet and still he felt like his body was ready to fall apart.
A moan fled from the taller one as Wylan increased his speed. “Do you want me to cum like this tanner boy?”, he asked. Only now did Wylan realize he had moved back to his mouth, their lips almost touching. “No. I want you to fill me.” Wylan had no idea where this confidence was coming from. It was like with every touch Jesper shared some of his confidence with him.
While saying this he aligned the length with his stretched opening. Then he removed his hand, letting Jesper do the last inch by himself. He could still feel the oily residue of whatever Jesper had used to coat his length on his hand. It would probably stain the sheets. But Wylan could not get himself to care. All he cared about right now was the feeling of being spread open. His first thought when Jesper entered was that he should have used a fourth finger. His second was that he was glad he didn’t. The pain was actually quite nice. Never had he felt so full. And he was sure he would feel this tomorrow. But just like the hickeys, the thought actually filled him with joy.
Wylan started to whimper when Jesper moved inside him. Thanks to the lubricant he gilded in and out easily but Wylan could feel how stretched he was and how it burned at every movement. He grabbed onto Jesper’s back, digging his fingers into the skin. Neither boy seemed to mind the pain they were causing each other, since this only motivated Jesper to go faster. Their lips met lazily every few thrusts. It wasn’t kissing, but it felt amazing enough for Wylan to keep trying to meet Jesper in between moans and deep breaths.
It didn’t take long for the taller boy to find the spot. Wylan’s back arched, throwing his head back and being no longer able to met the other ones lips. He closed his eyes. There was no control left in his body. With every thrust he was pushed deeper into the mattress. He barely even noticed his legs wrapping around Jesper, trying to keep him close. Luckily the boy seemed in no hurry to separate. The opposite actually. He took one of Wylan’s hands and crossed their fingers together. This was the roughest sex he had ever had and yet it felt so loving and tender that it took his breath away. How was it that a stranger could care so much?
His climax came over him like a strong wave, washing away every thought and control that was still left. He moaned unashamed as his body squeezed tighter around Jesper. Wylan was spinning. His head felt as empty as his body felt full.
Jesper didn’t stop his movements. He worked Wylan through his seemingly never ending release. Unaware of his own spill covering them both now, unaware of the noises being loud enough that it was a wonder if the entire Crow Club couldn’t hear them. He was completely in trance.
The movements inside him decreased until they stopped, allowing him slowly to come back to full consciousness. He opened his eyes, finding Jesper watching him. “You okay?”, he asked. Wylan nodded, a smile passing his lips. “More than okay.” Jesper’s laugh filled the room. “Good, because I thought for a second I had knocked you out.” Wylan joined the laugh, not saying that in a way he actually had.
The taller boy rolled off of him and got up again just to return with a cloth a few moments later. He handed it to Wylan. Only now that he was cleaning himself did he notice the mess they had made. Usually he was very conscious to not spill everywhere, not wanting to make the other person uncomfortable. But tonight had been different. Somehow that had never crossed his mind.
When he was done Jesper rejoined him in bed. He threw the blanket over them and settled down next to Wylan, not touching him. The shorter boy watched him, trying to read the signals. Was he meant to stay? Was he meant to go? Did Jesper wait for him to say something? His mind was spinning again, in an anxious way this time.
Slowly he got up. It was probably best to go. It was late anyway so he best rushed home and tried to get some sleep. Jesper next to him looked up. “What are you doing?”, he asked. The way he pronounced this sentence felt almost as if he was disappointed, like he didn’t want Wylan to leave yet. The slender boy stopped in his movement and met Jesper’s gaze. “Ohhh i am just cold”, he lied, not wanting to admit his actual plan. Jesper let out a small grunt. “Then come here weirdo”, he said and pulled Wylan’s arm. The boy gave in and allowed Jesper to wrap him in a hug. Feeling his warm skin again did feel quite nice he had to admit. And the sound of Jesper’s heartbeat calmed him. Holding him like this he slowly fell asleep. Wylan himself laid awake for quite a while just listening to the taller boy's breaths, letting his own thoughts pass like clouds in the sky. Eventually sleep found him.
When Jesper awoke the next morning a small smile passed his lips when the memories of last night came rushing back. He could still feel the tanner boy’s skin against his. He remembered how he felt and how he had sounded when Jesper had pushed him over the edge.
“Morning”, he mumbled. “Are you hungry?”
No response.
Jesper opened his eyes and rubbed the sleep out of it. Then he turned around, his hand reaching for the slender boy next to him just to find nothing. He looked to his side and registered the bed to be empty. Jesper sat up and looked around the room, finding no trace of him. He was gone.
A little disappointed he fell back on the mattress. “I can’t even remember his name”, he whispered to himself. Then he closed his eyes and tried to picture him, only being able to remember the big brown eyes longingly staring at him through the darkness.