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“Loud! Loud” The voice in Luca’s head echoed around their skull “Loud! Leave!!”
“No.” Luca muttered, scanning the room, but unable to see due to the amount of people.
“A party. Why did I come to a party?” Luca said under their breath.
“Because he is here.” The voice in Luca’s head replied. “But it’s too loud. Get out of here. They are all staring at you. You look like a fool.”
With a barly audible sigh, Luca did as the voice commanded, steeping outside the French doors they had been loitering next to.
The air was cool on Luca’s face, a nice change from the heat of the party. As Luca wondered into the gardens, they gazed up at the moon. It was full and cast a bright light onto the grassy, gently sloping hill that Luca now stood at the top of.
“You will never find him out here” Luca’s mind commented.
“I don’t want to find him. I don’t even care if he’s here or not.” Luca tried to tell their mind
“Lies. Lies. Lies.” Luca’s mind hissed
Luca tore their gaze from the moon, realising that they had walked about halfway down the hill, ready to have yet another argument with their mind on the too familiar topic. But then Luca stopped dead. A familiar silhouette stood at the bottom of the hill, slightly to Luca’s left, but gazing out to their right. Luca watched silently as the boy looked down, and outstretched his arm. He raised a hand, and Luca couldn’t see if he was grasping something or not, but the motion was all too familiar. Luca could only watch as the boy lowered his hand, but as he pulled it across his arm, Luca moved forward until they could see that the boy held nothing, but was tracing lines across his arm. Another familiar movement. Before Luca knew what they were doing, they had moved forward, until Luca was only a metre away from the boy, who still hadn’t noticed them. Luca watched the boy repeat the process, tracing lines across his arms. Then, suddenly, Luca moved. They pulled their jumper off, and gazed at their own arms, the silver threads shining in the moonlight. But the sudden movement had alerted the boy to Luca’s presence. The boy moved toward Luca. But all Luca could see were the boys arms. So similar to their own, but so different. Where the threads on Lucas arms were neat and orderly, the ones on the boys were scattered. The boy, why did Luca think of him like that? He had a name. But maybe Luca wasn’t ready for it yet. The boy saw Luca’s gaze, and tried to hide his arms behind his back, before seeing Lucas own arms, and realising the true meaning behind their gaze. Then Luca spoke
“Why? Why do you do this to yourself?”
The boy replied, his voice shaky “The same reason you do. It hurts inside, and its easiest to release by hurting outside.”
Luca responded by reaching forward and tracing the lines on the boys arm. “Your so… so beautiful and wonderful and amazing” Luca said “But I’m just the weird kid, that never socialises, that has weird pronouns and likes mostly guys, but occasionally girls”
“But you are pretty and clever and stunning” the boy said “And I’m the kid no-one knows is gay. And no-one knows what’s going on inside.”
Luca hesitated, their eyes unable to leave the boys face, tracing his jawbone.
“Josef. Let me know. Trust me”
“Luca. I do.” Tears were swelling in Josef’s eyes and he reached out a shaky hand, and cupped Luca’s face.
Luca raised his eyes from Josef’s jawbone, and their blue eyes met Josef’s brown ones. Before either of them knew what was happening, their lips met, gently as they were both scared of breaking the spell that was the night. When they broke apart, Luca shot a quick glance up the hill, towards the house. No-one.
“They won’t notice tonight. They are all too drunk in there to care about us.” Josef said.
Luca smiled. “What about beyond tonight?” He asked tentatively.
“I’ll stop hanging out with them. We can hang out together.”
“I can’t make you do that.”
“I don’t enjoy their company anyway.”
“No, they will…” Luca took a deep breath “When school ends, they corner anyone they don’t like. Me included. They.. beat me. And call me a… anyway, I couldn’t make you live with that.”
“The fuckers! They beat you! And, I’m gonna guess that they called you a slur?”
“Yeah. I can’t let them do that to you.”
“Honestly, I would rather be threatened by them that have to hide” Josef gestured between them “this. And I know how to fight. I can get them to leave us alone.”
Tears spilled out of Luca’s eyes “You really care”
“Of course I care. Come here.” Josef pulled Luca into a hug. “ Now, I hear that you like astrology. Can you tell me about the stars?”
Luca lay down on the grass, and when Josef lay down next to them, curled up into him. “That’s Draco, the snake. And there is Orion the Hunter. See?”
“Yeah. I See.” Josef murmured
“And that’s the Southern Cross. It’s also called Crux.”
“Like star crossed lovers”
“I guess so.” Luca turned to look at Josef.
What does star crossed lovers mean to you?” Josef asked
“Its when, two people love each other and would protect each other no matter what. It’s beautiful, romantic love and starry nights.”
“Maybe that could be us” Josef whispered, half scared of Luca’s reaction.
Luca grinned “I think we would be more like scar crossed lovers. But I like it.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Its the same, but also that we make sure that we are both in a safe place. And doing things to make each other feel better about themselves.”
“Scar crossed lovers.” Josef said
“Forever” Luca replied