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Today is a day from hell. And Will is not one to say that lightly, considering the few other days he would classify similarly. Eleven did her best to fight off Vecna while in a pizzeria kitchen just a few hours ago. She hasn’t told everything about what happened, just the bare essentials, but it’s clear things could have gone better.
Their group is exhausted in every sense of the word, and no one was up for another night of sleeping in Argyle’s tin can of a van. So they drove to the next town over and parked at the cheapest motel they could find.
Will is barely even aware of them stopping. His head feels like a swarm of bees is trapped in his skull, his thoughts just white noise. Everything is just so much. All of the tiring parts of this trip are tumbling down on him at once. Everything from Hawkins likely being a smoldering mess right now to his goddamn painting.
The thought of the painting urges Will to glance up, staring at the lanky form of his best friend, someone he often wished to be so much more, hovering around his sister, a gentle hand on her shoulder. A fire lights up inside Will, burning past the haze of his mind.
But why is he mad? Will couldn’t say for sure. Likely a mix of Mike’s dense skull, not understanding anything Will had tried to portray, and a realization that none of it would ever mean anything to the other. Logically, he knew that from the start. For all their problems, Mike and Jane genuinely love each other, but it hurts so much.
Is it so wrong to want the kind of comfort that could only come from that kind of love? Just the thought of that is a balm to Will’s aching heart. Honestly, he wouldn’t even care if it was Mike at this point if he got that comfort.
“You okay?” A gentle voice draws Will out of his thoughts, and he tears his eyes away from his friend, meeting Jonathan’s kind, tired gaze. He’s clearly worse for wear but no more than to be expected. Will nods.
“Yeah.”
“We’re getting two rooms. We can share,” Jonathan says, glancing at Mike. Will isn’t even surprised that his brother has picked up on the tension, but it’s still a relief. He doesn’t know if he can stand being in a room with him right now.
“Thanks,” Will breathes.
“No problem,” Jonathan says quickly, “Argyle agreed to watch them.” Will isn’t sure when this was discussed, but he hardly cares. As Jonathan leads them to their room, a small, dark idea starts to form in his mind, one he does not yet name. The room is small and far from the nicest they’ve ever been in. While the others got a double room, the pair only had a single room to save some money.
Jonathan lets Will shower first, turning on the TV while he waits. Will can almost feel the grime coming off him, feeling cleaner than in days. It’s nice, but it does little to abate that nagging voice in the back of his head, still desperate for the touch of another person.
That small, oily little idea that emerged from Will’s mind continues to take form, wandering to the older boy patiently waiting his turn outside. Jonathan’s more than proven that he’ll do anything for Will over the years, and he’s proven it again over the past week. Flashes of their conversation back in the Surfer Boy Pizza kitchen go through Will’s mind, relishing in Jonathan’s tight hold of him, promising that nothing he could do would make him stop loving him.
Will leaves the shower in nothing but his boxers, letting his dirty clothes at least air out, and Jonathan takes his place, offering him a soft smile as he goes. He waits for his brother, unable to focus on anything else. Luckily, it doesn’t take long before Jonathan comes back out; also in his boxers, wet hair nearly hanging in his eyes.
The older boy averts his gaze, watching the TV. He knows neither really desire to sleep in dirty clothes, and they’ve seen much of each other over the years. But he still wants to be respectful and not make Will uncomfortable. He resists the urge to cover his body as the itching feeling of being watched nags at the back of his mind.
Will shamelessly gazes at Jonathan’s body, scanning up and down. He has always thought that Jonathan was nice to look at. It was just one of those objective facts in life he always knew. When he was younger, he used to wish to grow up to look like his brother, with his broad shoulders, thin waist, and sharp features.
“Will?” Jonathan’s voice again breaks him out of his thoughts, and Will realizes that he was staring, and Jonathan caught him.
“Yeah?” Will says, summoning his best innocent smile.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just…” Will hesitates, figuring out how to say this. If he wants his idea to work, he has to play his cards right, “Just thinking about Mike and things….” Jonathan scoots closer, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder.
“You know we all support you,” Jonathan says softly, and Will nods, putting on his best, most pitiful face. Jonathan smiles back. Amusingly, Jonathan is somewhat glad that he doesn’t have to skirt around Will’s sexuality anymore or pretend he doesn’t know what it is.
“I know. But that doesn’t mean he’ll ever feel the same.”
“Will…” Jonathan tries, unsure how to articulate a response.
“It’s okay, really. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.” Will smiles at his brother, hiding the spark of satisfaction at the sadness mirrored in his expression. “But right now, I just wish… wish I could have something like that. Or someone.”
“What do you mean?” Jonathan asks softly. Does he have a crush on someone else too?
“Isn’t it nice to just be held and comforted?” Will asks, watching Jonathan with wide eyes. The older hesitates, slipping into bed and covering himself. This isn’t the first time they’ve strayed into more sensitive topics while talking, but it doesn’t quite feel right. Something about having to share the same bed with your near-naked brother makes it weird.
“I mean, yeah,” Jonathan finally says. “I guess so.”
“That’s all I want,” Will mumbles, “It doesn’t even have to be Mike, honestly.” Will pauses, allowing Jonathan to digest the words. He also slips into bed, letting the thin comforter cover him.
Jonathan hesitates, thinking. It’s his turn to speak, but he’s unsure what to say. Is Will touch-starved? He can understand that, as he probably is as well. He knows that tone of voice; it’s the one Will uses when he wants something but doesn’t want to ask directly. It doesn’t take much to put two and two together.
“Will, do you want to…?” Jonathan trails off, and Will suppresses the satisfied smirk that wants to emerge on his face, keeping his open, heartbroken expression. Jonathan would rather not cuddle when both were so bare, but if it’ll help Will, it’s a sacrifice he’ll make.
“Thank you, Jonathan,” Will cuts him off, scooting closer. He moves first, wrapping an arm around Jonathan’s chest, high enough to be a safe touch. Jonathan copies him, pulling Will close enough for the younger man to rest his head on his chest. There’s some distance between them, with their lower bodies and chests still not touching.
Will goes to fix that, gripping Jonathan firmly and moving them closer. Their bare chests rub against each other, and he hooks his ankle around Jonathan’s; almost nothing between them now. Jonathan goes tense, placing his hands on Will to try and push him away gently. Will finds it cute how Jonathan is still trying to make him feel comfortable even when he isn’t comfortable himself. It urges Will on, something burning deep within him.
Jonathan does his best to keep his breathing steady. This is too much to be socially acceptable and almost too much for him. He tries to get the hint across to Will to back off a bit, but the other either doesn’t notice or ignores it. The idea of the latter leaves a horrible taste in his mouth.
“Thank you,” Will whispers, holding tight, “I love you, Jonathan. You always know how to make me feel better.” He gently rubs his brother’s back. Jonathan bites his lip, debating with himself. Does he want to push the issue and make Will back off? No. Especially if it’s helping him, and considering the circumstances, he can give a little leeway, at least for a while.
Jonathan stops his struggle, allowing Will to hold him and be held, even if he is still not fully relaxed. Will knows that he’s just waiting for his moment to pull away, but he won’t do that if Will doesn’t want him to, as they both know.
Jonathan is a predictable person. Will isn’t stupid; he knows how much his brother values their relationship, their friendship. His brother doesn’t have many positive relationships he can fully trust, so he clings to those he has, and Will’s been too close to death for him to risk a divide between them. It’s cute, and Will knows he could use this to get Jonathan to do just about anything for him, as he is very eager to test.
“Jonathan?” Will asks softly.
“Yeah?” Jonathan says back, slightly tightening his hold. As weird as it feels to be in such a position, having Will in his touch is comforting. Like this, he doesn’t have to doubt his health or if he’s truly alive.
“I know Mike won’t ever be with me, but I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be with someone,” Will says, again trying to use his most pitiable voice, “I wonder if I’ll ever know what it’s like to be with someone or kiss them.” Jonathan stiffens against him.
“You do remember you’re only 15, right?” Jonathan asks, but his voice is a little strained for the joke to land, “There’s no rush to do those things. I’m sure you’ll find someone.” He silently wishes for Will to drop the topic.
“But what if I don’t?” Will presses, “With Vecna and everything, I don’t even know if I’ll make it to graduation.” Jonathan’s grip noticeably tightens at the mere mention of his death, and his chest stutters as he takes a shaky breath. Will smirks. Jonathan’s more dependent on him than he’d even realize.
“You will,” Jonathan presses, leaving no room to argue. His heart pounds in his chest, and he knows that if he even entertains that notion, he’ll fall into a dark place.
“But if I don’t, I wanna know what it’s like,” Will whispers.
Will takes a moment to move, leaning away to look Jonathan in the face. He doesn’t give Jonathan time to realize what’s happening before he leans forward, kissing him. Jonathan gasps against him, trying to pull away as much as possible, but Will follows him, just holding on more tightly.
Jonathan’s immediate thought of getting pulled into the kiss is a resounding Oh, God, No! Will’s chapped, thin lips press against his own, moving softly despite how he doesn’t push back. It feels so wrong, almost dirty, and Will ignores his protests. There’s a dawning realization that this is more than someone wanting someone to hold one night. This is deeper, but he has no idea how much so.
“Will!” Jonathan gasps, again trying to push away. This time, Will’s nails dig into Jonathan’s skin, keeping him there. The only way Jonathan could escape would be to hurt Will, and they both know it. “W-What are you doing?!”
“Please, Jonathan,” Will begs, “I just want to know what it’s like, and I trust you more than anyone. Don’t let this tear us apart.” Jonathan’s struggle weakens but doesn’t stop. But neither does Will’s determination.
“This is wrong, Will,” Jonathan argues, “This is so wrong. We can’t do this.”
“I need this, Jonathan, and I think you do too,” Will says lowly, “You know that. And I don’t want anyone else.”
“Please, Will, don’t,” Jonathan whispers, “Not me. I-I can’t help you with this.”
“Yes, you can,” Will says back just as quietly, “You’re the only one I need, Jonathan. You always do anything for me, and I love you so much for it. Can’t you do this for me too?” Jonathan doesn’t respond, turning his face away. Will just waits for him.
“I-I want to help,” Jonathan says slowly, “But not like this.” Will’s expression drops. But even so, Jonathan has a sinking feeling that he just signed his soul away.
In a swift movement, Will flips them so Jonathan is on his back, with Will pressing him into the bed, slotted between his legs. While Will is the little brother, he’s now the same size, if not a little bigger, and nearly as strong as his brother. Will swallows Jonathan’s gasp as he kisses him once again.
Jonathan wants to cry. What’s happening to his baby brother? Is something possessing him again? But he doesn’t feel cold, being too hot instead, and El didn’t sense anything. But does that mean that this has been brewing in him for god knows how long?
“Don’t fight me on this,” Will says, “You just need to help me. That’s all.” Jonathan whimpers, his eyes shining with tears.
As horrifying as it is, Will’s right, Jonathan thinks. He always helps Will, no matter what, and what are the alternatives? He could fight Will and get a good punch going, but he’d rather kill himself than hurt Will. And maybe he just needs this little bit of help, then everything will be okay, and they can just pretend this never happened.
“I… I just need to help,” Jonathan whispers brokenly, and Will has to hide the exploding joy and satisfaction in his chest. Jonathan finally stops struggling, going limp and pliable under Will, lips trembling slightly.
“Yes, there we go,” Will praises. He has an inkling that praise is also something Jonathan craves, so he doesn’t hold back, “Thank you, Jonathan. I love you so much. You’re so good to me.” Jonathan is silent.
Jonathan stares up at Will. He wishes he could just get on with whatever this is or tell him what he wants. He doesn’t acknowledge the slight warmth that comes from the gentle words, writing it off as him just being lonely.
Will kisses him again, and Jonathan doesn’t fight it. He doesn’t wholly kiss back, but there’s no struggle, which is a step in the right direction. The older’s hands are shaky as he rests them on Will’s back.
“I’m just helping,” Jonathan whispers, likely to himself when they split. The older’s mind clings to the thought of a drowning man to a life raft. It’s not wrong to help his little brother, right? The ends can justify the means. And even if they don’t, it makes what’s happening easier to think about.
“Yes, you are, and you’re doing great,” Will adds. The smaller one leans in, kissing along his brother’s jawline, slowly moving down to his neck. Jonathan flinches but again does not fight him, simply letting Will do what he wants. He repeats the mantra that he’s helping his brother repeatedly in his head; the only way he’s staying any sort of sane.
Will moves lower, loosening his grip on the other as it’s clear he won’t run away. A hand drifts down his chest until it rests on his boxers’ elastic. Jonathan gasps, jerking at the touch.
Panic courses through Jonathan’s veins. He thought this was about Will. He’d help him with either his hand or mouth, and then they’d be done. That would be taboo enough.
“What are you doing?” Jonathan gasps desperately. “Will, don’t.”
“Please don’t stop me, Jonathan,” Will says cooly, “You’ve already let me go this far; why are you stopping me now?”
“I can’t let you do this,” Jonathan tries to say, but it sounds weak to both of them. “I-I can’t be your first.” Will smiles. It’s sweet, in a way.
“Sure, you can,” Will says, “You’ll never hurt me, and I would be honored if you were. And we’ve already passed the point of no return, which you agreed to.” Jonathan flinches at the observation, almost visibility deflating.
“Don’t feel bad, Jonathan,” Will coos, “You’re the best brother. I need you.” Jonathan trembles, taking a gasping breath. Will hooks his fingers against the elastic of Jonatha’s boxers, and he flinches but makes no effort to truly stop him, even lifting his hips to allow Will to toss the underwear away. He waits, not looking as Will does the same to his own.
Jonathan can’t bring himself to look at all of Will, reminded too much of the little boy he once held in his arms. But it’s too late to stop. He has already let it go on this long; he can only let it go through to help Will.
“This’ll feel good, I promise,” Will says, grabbing the terrible hotel lotion on the nightstand, “You need this just as much as I do.” Jonathan grips Will’s shoulders, hiding his face in his brother’s neck, and Will can feel his rapid breathing on his skin. It’s adorable how nervous he is. “I’ll take care of you, I promise. Just as you do for me.”
Will squirts some of the lotion onto his hand, rubbing it on his fingers. He reaches down, brushing past Jonathan’s soft cock and prodding between his ass cheeks. Jonathan is shaking as Will finds what he’s looking for, rubbing at the tight furl twitching under the attention. Will can already tell it’ll be so tight, and he can hardly wait.
Will pushes two fingers inside his brother, going all the way to the knuckle. Jonathan gasps sharply, whimpering as his body presses against the intrusion instinctually. His legs clamp around Will. He cries out softly as Will starts to piston his fingers, the older boy’s nails digging into his back.
Jonathan doesn’t feel real right now. His ass aches against the intrusion, but he still doesn’t feel there. A fuzzy haze starts to emanate through his head, and his resistance starts to crumble under it.
“S-Slow, please,” Jonathan gasps, whimpering as Will’s fingers drill into him. Will obliges, slowing down to a more tender pace. Jonathan sighs in relief, even if his body remains tense with the ache. Will rewards him with a gentle kiss on the side of his head.
“This your first time like this?” Will asks, getting bolder and hornier as his brother falls apart under him.
“Y-Yes,” Jonathan whimpers, Will nods with a hum.
“It’ll be good. I’ll make sure of it,” Will promises. A moment later, he adds a third finger, and Jonathan tenses around him again, groaning into his skin. Will smirks, shifting so his thigh is pressed against Jonathan’s cock. To Will’s satisfaction, it’s semi-hard, and he can feel it twitching as he thrusts his fingers. Will had always wondered if Jonathan wasn’t entirely straight.
“How does it feel?” Will asks in what he tries to portray as a caring voice.
“Weird,” Jonathan chokes out, “Kinda hurts….”
“I’m sorry,” Will whispers, curling his fingers, searching. Suddenly, Jonathan’s whole body twitches, his cock hardening a little more. He whines softly, and Will smirks.
“Better?” Will asks.
“Y-Yes,” Jonathan admits, face going cherry red.
“Good.” Will smirks, suddenly removing his fingers. Jonathan holds back a sudden whine at the emptiness, shame going through his veins. He should not be enjoying this. He’s just doing this for his brother. Will pulls back, adding a glob of lotion to his cock, and smearing it thinly over himself. He gets back in position, holding Jonathan down as he squirms.
“Wait, wait,” Jonathan pants, “I-I’m not ready, please.” He still felt too tight with just Will’s fingers, and he can see that his cock is bigger. Will smiles at him, rubbing his thighs.
“You’ll be alright, Jonathan. I just need you so bad.” Will does add more lotion to his cock but makes no other effort to help. “Relax.” Will holds Jonathan’s thighs apart, lines himself up, and with one quick thrust, he promptly buries himself inside his older brother to the hilt.
Jonathan cries out, back arching. He shoves at Will, scratching at his back, but his little brother is not deterred. Jonathan is so hot and tight, and Will is in heaven, even as Jonathan is nearly in tears, gasping for breath.
“Shh, you don’t want the others to hear, do you?” Will says softly, “How terrible would it be if they saw us? They might never let us be together again.”
The fuzziness in Jonathan’s mind entirely takes over, the outside world seeming to disappear. All he knows is his brother, the source of all his love and pain simultaneously. His remaining resistance crumbles as he clings to Will, knowing he’ll shatter if he doesn’t.
“I’m sorry, ‘M sorry,” Jonathan babbles, clutching onto Will, “I-It hurts. Take it out, please, Will.” Will nearly coos at Jonathan’s adorable begging, but he stays firm, kissing away the few tears that slip out.
“I know. I’m sorry,” Will says, “It’ll get better, I promise. It always hurts your first time, but it’ll get better soon.” While Will was technically a virgin, he’s more than knowledgeable on the topic from both personal experimenting and research. He also knows he’s being rough, but Jonathan doesn’t need to know that. His brother is just too beautiful when begging and broken to resist.
“I love you. I love you,” Will whispers, kissing Jonathan gently, smiling as Jonathan pushes back just a little. “You’re so pretty, and I need you so much. I always need you, Jonathan, just as you need me, even if you never knew it.”
“...I… love you,” Jonathan shyly says back, voice and gaze distant. Will’s face hurts from smiling. This is going even better than he had hoped.
“And I love you so much. And I need you. Do you need me, Jonathan?”
“Yes,” Jonathan says back instantly, “Need… need you so much, Will.” Will makes a noise of approval in his throat, reaching down to ghost his hand over Jonathan’s cock, having to reward good behavior, relishing in the soft moan he gets.
“Yeah, you do. And I’ll be here as long as you stay with me.” Jonathan’s eyes finally meet Will’s for the first time since this started. The older’s eyes are clouded over, almost blank, as he stares up at his brother. He has pure openness and vulnerability emanating from him, and Will knows how fragile he is. He intended to pound Jonathan into the mattress, but he holds back. Maybe next time.
Will slowly moves his hips, thrusting shallowly and gently. Jonathan still whimpers in pain, but it’s far from the initial levels. And just a few thrusts in, his noises of pain morph into small moans of pleasure.
“See? I told you it’d feel good,” Will murmurs, only getting a long keen from his brother. “That’s what brothers are for.”
For a while, both are lost in the steady rhythm of their movements, the only sounds being their restrained moans and the slapping of their skin. At one point, Jonathan grasps Will’s hand, which had been resting on his hip, intertwining their fingers. It’s a sweet gesture, and Will slows, his movements turning gentle but deep.
It’s clear to Will that all he needs is his brother, and everything will be alright. They’ll always be there for each other in whatever way they need to, no matter where in the country they are or how old they are. No one understands each other as they do.
Jonathan has a different realization at the moment. He needs Will almost as much as he needs air, his being wholly engulfed by the need to protect and make the younger boy happy. Without his brother and his family, Jonathan has no purpose, nothing to live for, really. His job as an older brother, as the man of the house, is to be there for the others, protect them, and make them happy.
If Will were to be upset at him or push him away, Jonathan isn’t sure he’d be able to live his life. Will’s been so close to being dead and gone so many times, and Jonathan wouldn’t survive if it happened again.
Jonathan would happily end his own life if it meant that Will got to enjoy his. So, is it really a stretch to say that he’d be a source of Will’s physical pleasure to make him happy? The answer is no. He can’t say that he likes it, but he can’t ever seem to deny Will what he wants. Jonathan can take it all for his brother’s sake and enjoy it. He’ll be his brother’s personal whore if it means he’s happy.
Jonathan’s back arches as Will’s cock hits his prostate once again. Being fucked feels weird, but it isn’t bad. It feels nice, but it can’t quite cover the hollow cavern in his chest at the simple fact that his brother, the person he was raised with and shares blood with, is the one rearranging his guts. So he instead chooses to ignore that pit, reveling in the brightness in Will’s eyes that’s been missing for so long.
Jonathan can’t help but wonder what this means for Mike. He doesn’t know everything about why Will was upset at him, but he isn’t an idiot. He knows Will likes him. Does he just want to use him until he gets Mike or another boyfriend? That’s optimal, in Jonathan’s opinion. He can live with being an object for physical stress relief more than his brother being attracted to him.
“We fit together perfectly. We’re made for each other,” Will whispers into Jonathan’s ear. The older can’t deny the swell of pleasure that goes through his chest. The person he lives for wants him, and he loves that. He doesn’t know what he’d do if Will just left and stopped talking to him.
A small voice in Jonathan’s mind also longs for that sense of ownership. He’s so tired from everything in his life he finds himself wishing his life was simple and lazy, letting him rest. He’s tempted to let Will take the reins in his life and let his little brother decide what to do with him. As much as the boy worries him, he trusts Will more than anyone else, even as he fucks him.
“W-Will,” Jonathan gasps, choking on a moan. He’s unsure what he wants to say; his mind is too mushy.
“Jonathan,” Will groans, thrusting hard. He leans over, nipping and biting at Jonathan’s neck. “I love you. I love you.” Jonathan whimpers against him, twitching hard. The older can’t quite respond, simply gripping Will’s back harder than ever.
“I’m close,” Will groans, his thrusts growing more erratic. Relief ebbs in Jonathan’s chest, ready for this to end, but another primal part of him dreads it. He can say whatever he likes, but this feels good, and he really wants to fucking cum.
“Please, Will…” Jonathan begs, again unsure what he’s even asking for. Will seems to understand, or at least he thinks he does. The younger’s hand sneaks between them, grabbing Jonathan’s cock. He starts to jack off Jonathan in time with his thrusts slowly.
Jonathan cries out at the sudden touch, and it takes all of 10 seconds before he’s pushed over the edge. He whimpers, covering his mouth as his body goes stiff, back arching. Cum splatters all over Will’s hand and his own stomach, and he clenches hard around Will’s cock, still thrusting into him.
“So pretty. So, so pretty,” Will babbles, wildly thrusting to chase his high. Just as Jonathan edges into oversensitivity, Will stutters, burying himself into the hilt. He muffles his moans into Jonathan’s neck, staying still for a long few moments.
Neither brother talks as they pant together, with Will pulling out, cum dribbling down Jonathan’s leg and collapsing onto the bed. He pulls up the blanket, covering their rapidly cooling bodies. Jonathan barely even flinches as Will wraps himself around him.
“I love you,” Will sighs, snuggling in close.
“Love you too,” Jonathan mumbles, not trying very hard to cover the deep emptiness in his chest. Will just squeezes him tighter, and Jonathan relaxes into the hold. He knows he’s not getting out of this now, past the point of no return. Even if they never again go near this, their relationship will never be quite the same. But with how Will’s hand rest on his ass, nearly groping him, he doubts that this will be the only time.
“Thank you for helping me, Jonathan,” Will coos, “I feel a lot better, and I’m so happy I was able to do this with you.” He leans in to kiss him, and Jonathan doesn’t even move.
“I’m sorry,” Jonathan mumbles, voice cracking. Those two words mean so much more than they should and represent so much. He’s sorry for giving in, for indulging Will, but he’s also sorry for not doing absolutely everything to make Will feel better, sorry for fighting him so hard.
“It’s okay,” Will says, leaning over and gently kissing the other. Will snuggles into Jonathan’s chest, his warm breath against his collarbone. Jonathan is too emotionally and physically tired to fight or try and pull away, being lulled under by his brother’s soft breathing.
They sleep in each other’s arms, and no words are spoken about it the following day. Jonathan would believe it was a fever dream if not for the dried cum on his thigh and Will’s insistence to join him in the bathroom.
If the brothers are a little late meeting the others and getting on the road with Jonathan nursing some new bruises on his stomach from being bent over the hard counter, well… it’s just from brothers helping each other. That’s all.