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1. ’You’re always shining’
“Not a good time to be stargazing.”
The voice was soft, akin to a whisper. Like this person was sharing a secret with Jeonghan. Something amusing, something between them.
“I like the way the sun shines through the clouds.” Jeonghan said, voice coming out raspy due to it being unused.
The person snickers beside him. Jeonghan turns his head, now seeing the mess that was his hair splayed out on the grass beneath him, trapped between his shoulders and the ground.
Sun rays spilled over the man, beams of yellow tracing his silhouette, effectively overtaking his features so he was nothing but a blurry figure if Jeonghan squinted his eyes.
The warmth of the sun was slowly creeping, a hot breeze blanketing Jeonghan’s unmoving body. He could fall asleep like this, he thinks. Laying on the warmed grass as he listens to the bustling of the city around him— listens to the fond words of the stranger beside him.
He brings his head back to what feels right, facing towards the sky. He watches as nature plays Peek-a-boo, the clouds pushed on by the wind to cover and uncover the sun over and over, until it seems to get restless. The atmosphere stills again, sticky streams of sweat breaking out to flow over Jeonghan’s forehead.
The world doesn’t still, though. He can still hear the excited chatter of children as they tell their parents what happened at school; can still hear a boyfriend defending himself to his phone as he tries to convince his girlfriend he’s not cheating on her, all while he brings a finger down to the lips of a girl who’s half laying on his lap to shush her; he still hears the undisturbed inhale and exhale of the man beside him.
Jeonghan values days like this. When he can stare at the sun peaking through brooding clouds.
“You shine brighter.” The stranger mutters, after some time.
It startles Jeonghan out of his daydream quick enough to make his shoulders jump to his ears, back muscles tensing.
“Huh?” He breathes out, turning his head again to catch a glimpse of movement.
The stranger stands, his tall figure blocks the sun from blinding Jeonghan. He sees the man clearly then, his shiny black hair falls effortlessly over his forehead, tickling his long eyelashes and causing the man to bring up a hand to swoop it behind an ear. That doesn’t last long, the hair bouncing back to its prior position. Jeonghan understands that pain. Thick eyebrows unfurl as the stranger takes on a relaxed expression, and the corners of his rosy lips lift into a soft smile.
“Your shine rivals the sun’s.” The stranger reiterates, amused tone never leaving his voice.
All Jeonghan can do is stare, as the stranger waves and turns on his heel to saunter away from the river bank.
☼
2. ’I’ve seen a wonderful sight’
Jeonghan finds himself at the river bank again a week later. It’s earlier in the morning this time, and he’s basking in the sunrise as he lets the sound of birds ripple over his skin.
No one’s around to disrupt his peace at this time. He welcomes the mellow marigold into his arms, his hands reaching towards the shy sun as it peaks over the horizon. He imagines bringing it into his arms, smothering himself in the warm tone as his fingers shiver in the biting cold around him.
He hears the city slowly awaken around him, branches creak in the cold air, dogs yap as their owners let them out and the sweet songs of birds seem to quieten in the cacophony that is the world.
Jeonghan tries to not be too disappointed. He has to remember he isn’t the only person existing in this world, no matter how much it feels like he is.
“Giving star gazing another shot, huh?” A voice chuckles from behind him this time, “I hate to break it to you, but you still haven’t nailed the timing.”
Jeonghan scoffs through a small smile, “Guess I just missed it.”
The stranger lets out a sharp exhale, “So he has a sense of humour.”
Jeonghan waves him off.
A shadow is cast over him as the stranger comes to stand at his head and Jeonghan tilts it back so he can gaze up at the stranger. Even upside down he’s perfect and Jeonghan finds it unfair.
The stranger waves from above and moves to sit beside him, a routine already established between them.
“You’re here again?” Jeonghan asks.
“I could say the same to you.”
Jeonghan looks at him through the corner of his eye. The man is in a black puffer coat today, with a purple hoodie underneath— the hood is pulled through so it rests on the outside of the coat’s collar. He looks beautiful, and Jeonghan’s heart yearns.
“I’m always here.” Jeonghan states.
“I know.”
Jeonghan side eyes the man again, trying to catch his attention. He deems it worthless when he sees that the man is lost in the hues of the sunrise.
Jeonghan brings his eyes to where the man is looking, and sees that the sun has fully shown itself to them, shining proudly as the two of them watch it in awe.
The sky seems to shift around it, translucent clouds moving out of its way and the warm colours slowly fading into cool tones of blue. The sun and sky contrast now, a blazing fire on an arctic backdrop.
“What a wonderful sight.” Jeonghan observes.
“Yeah. Wonderful.”
And when Jeonghan looks at the man for the third time, he sees a pair of eyes looking straight back at him.
It feels as if time has paused, the sounds of a busy city blocked out by the ringing that suddenly sounds through Jeonghan’s ears.
This time, Jeonghan stares as the man brings a gloved hand to his face to tuck a stray stand of long brown hair behind his pink ear. The man looms over him, but Jeonghan doesn’t feel intimidated, he feels starstruck.
Cupid’s arrows rain over him, puncturing his heart through thick skin.
“I’ll see you soon?” The man asks, and he looks hopeful. Jeonghan can do nothing but nod like a lovesick teen.
The man smiles, and his eyes scrunch. He stands up and casts a comforting shadow over Jeonghan one more time as he waves good-bye.
And he’s not happy to admit it, but Jeonghan only stares at the man with a gaping mouth as he walks away from the horizon once again.
☼
3. ‘With a bright glow’
The stranger is there before him the next time Jeonghan walks towards the river bank. He’s on the phone, speaking fast through a pout to the person on the other side.
He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the man doesn’t notice Jeonghan’s presence behind him, so he awkwardly stands like a rigid tree as he waits for the right time to intercept.
After hearing the tinny voice through the phone start a full blown rant, Jeonghan decides it’s a good time to interrupt.
He clears his throat and the stranger nearly throws his phone down the slope of the bank.
“Oh my god!” He shrills as he turns his head towards Jeonghan, “how long have you been standing there?”
Jeonghan uncomfortably shifts from foot to foot, “For a bit, but I didn’t hear anything.”
The man sighs and Jeonghan can’t help but feel as if he’s disappointed him. The man smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Jeonghan’s heart cracks a little bit.
“Sit.” The man says and Jeonghan easily complies.
He sits with his knees tucked to his chin, and brings his arms around his legs.
“Who was that?” Jeonghan asks.
“My friend.”
Jeonghan nods once before focusing his eyes on the yellow sun hanging in the sky. He tears them away after seconds, the sun’s light too powerful for his eyes.
“You didn’t pry.” The man says, shocked, after a pregnant silence.
Jeonghan shakes his head, “Not my right.” He meets the stranger’s eyes.
“Seungcheol.” The stranger blurts out.
Jeonghan makes a confused hum in his throat.
“My name is Seungcheol.” The stranger— Seungcheol— explains.
Jeonghan looks at Seungcheol, feeling a little bit more complete with a name now to the face.
“I’m Jeonghan.” He says just as the sun shifts in the sky, beams swarming the two of them in a natural spotlight.
“You’re glowing.” Seungcheol says into the spring air.
“Am I?” Jeonghan asks.
“Yes.” Seungcheol takes a deep breath, “you’re glowing and you look absolutely beautiful.”
Jeonghan’s heart stutters in his chest.
Seungcheol abruptly stands, and Jeonghan is so used to the routine that he manages to raise a hand to wave before the other gets the chance to.
Seungcheol walks away from him for the third time.
☼
4. ’You are my sea’
Seungcheol sits beside him, and he knows it’s him because the warmth radiating off him is almost too uncomfortable to bear.
“Trying to find the stars in the water, today?” Seungcheol chuckles.
Jeonghan brings his eyes from the water to beside him, where he finds Seungcheol with that familiar look of amusement in his eyes.
“Who says it’s the stars I’ve been looking for?” Jeonghan muses.
Seungcheol hums thoughtfully. “I should have expected for you to look for what others don’t. I get the idea you’re like that.”
Jeonghan laughs, the sound bubbling up his chest and erupting from him in short gasps. He pointedly ignores the astonishment that clouds Seungcheol’s eyes.
“I think I’ve been looking for the moon. I don’t know.” Jeonghan sighs.
“But you seem so attached to the sun. You’re only here in the day.”
Jeonghan twiddles his thumbs together, fixing his gaze on them as he plays thumb war with himself. He points his toes, stretches his legs out in front of him, clacks his shoes together, does anything to avoid the statement.
“Jeonghan?” Seungcheol pushes.
“I’m afraid of the dark.”
“Oh.”
They let the silence stretch after that. It only lats for a couple of minutes before Seungcheol is speaking again.
“I’m afraid of the sea. Of water, in general.”
“Oh.” Jeonghan sighs.
“You’ve made me less afraid of the sea, you know.” Seungcheol lays a heavy hand over his own moving ones.
Jeonghan’s brows furrow, “How?”
“Because my feelings for you go as deep as the ocean, I think.” Seungcheol brings his hand away, and Jeonghan desperately wants to grab at it again. His own person lifeline.
“You think?” Jeonghan pouts.
“I know.” Seungcheol confirms. “I know for a fact, that you’re my ocean.”
And this time, they break the routine, both getting up at the same time and not exchanging goodbyes. Instead, they walk away from the riverbank side by side, hand in hand, and don’t exchange goodbyes until the next morning.
☼
5. ‘You always had me’
They agree to meet at the riverbank the next week. Jeonghan can’t think of a more ideal way to start off a Monday.
They sit next to each other, Seungcheol’s hand resting with Jeonghan’s in a tight grip and they don’t stop talking until night comes.
“Are you okay?” Seungcheol asks when the city around them falls asleep and the dark swell of the night sky hangs over them like a canopy of bruises.
“Yeah. I have you now.” Jeonghan strokes his thumb across the smooth skin of the other’s hand.
“You always had me.”
Jeonghan feels bad for Cupid, the God seems to never have a break when Seungcheol is around.
There seems to be a routine of breaking their routine now, because they don’t say goodbye this time either.
They fall asleep on their riverbank, both dreaming of each other and suddenly Seungcheol doesn’t have time to get sucked into a world of nightmares about drowning and Jeonghan isn’t afraid of falling asleep in the dark.
The stars twinkle over them and the moon acts as a night light.
☼
6. ‘And we held the moon in our arms’
“I think you’re my light.” Jeonghan whispers on the riverbank one night.
Seungcheol chokes back on his tears, and he looks at Jeonghan with disbelief in his eyes.
“What kind of light am I?” Seungcheol whispers back.
“The moonlight that I’ve been searching for.”
“I think you’re my moonlight too.” Seungcheol smiles, his wet cheeks bunched up.
And as he holds his moon in his embrace, Jeonghan can’t help but think the warmth it brings him feels even better than the sun’s.