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August is a lot of things, but insecure isn't usually one of them. She's fat, and she knows it. Her thighs spread under her when she sits in a chair. Her stomach rolls over her waistband without any contortion of her body at all. Her cheeks are full, as are her chest and hips.
These things have never made August ugly, and she knows that. Well, usually, she knows.
But today, as she stands in front of the mirror in her bra and underwear, trying to get dressed, looking at every inch of her body, all she can feel is a sense of dread. Dread at how her body isn't like Myla's or Wes's or--and she hates the thought as soon as it arises--Jane's. Jane is all hard lines and muscle, and August...isn't. It doesn't matter. She shouldn't even be comparing herself like this in the first place, especially not to her girlfriend of all people.
And yet.
A heavy sigh escapes her, followed quickly by a startled yelp as she feels hands moving across her waist, touching across her stretchmarks and the excess fat she can't stand to see today. She stiffens, looking in the mirror to see Jane, shower-fresh and already pressing kisses on her neck as she keeps moving her hands. Water droplets fall from Jane's hair, rolling down August's skin, and she hates the way it looks as she follows the droplet down her body.
"What's all this for?" Jane asks, licking across the shell of August's ear. August can't help but shiver at the touch.
"Nothing, you horndog. I'm just trying to get dressed."
"You might want to hurry, 'cause I only want you undressed," Jane says. Jane looks up and August catches her eye in the mirror. She sees it. The instant Jane realizes she's not in a great mood. It's like Jane looks through her, her eyebrow furrowing, her lip quirking in that way it always does before she asks a question. "What's wrong, angel?"
Normally, August wouldn't entertain this. She would shrug, say nothing, and know that within the next week, she would be back to herself, feeling sexy and confident in her skin. But something about today, something about this way this feeling claws and eats at her chest makes her want to talk about it.
Unfortunately, it comes out as: "Do you think I'm ugly?"
Jane's hands freeze on her body, her eyebrow twisting up even more, as if she's mad. She opens her mouth once, twice, before any sound comes out. "What?"
"Nevermind-"
"Are you crazy, August?" Jane says, spinning August around so she's force to face her. To look Jane in the eye. Jane cups her cheek, holding her gaze with an intense stare of her own. It almost hurts to keep looking, but August can't look away. "You're so goddamn sexy, it's nearly impossible for me to keep my hands off you. Why would you even think that you're anywhere close to ugly?"
It's something August loves about Jane. The intensity. The way she'll jump to anyone's defense in a heartbeat. The way her anger isn't really anger most of the time. At least, not with August. It's always love. It's something August loves about Jane, but today, it makes her cry.
Her cheeks burn as the tears well in her eyes. "I don't know. I just-I feel-damn it." She wipes her face in frustration, a humorless laugh escaping her lips. "I don't look like I should, okay? I'm too much."
"Turn around," Jane says, her voice low, and August does, although she doesn't want to. She sees herself, still practically naked, and she hates it. She hates that Jane is seeing her like this, too. She tries to look away, but Jane grabs her chin and moves her head gently to make her keep looking at herself. "You wanna know what I see?"
"I don't know," August whispers, because she's scared. She's scared Jane is going to see what August sees.
"I see the sexiest woman in all of New York. All of the world. All of the universe," she whispers, pressing a kiss to August's cheek. Jane's hand rests at her collarbone and moves down. Down, past her breasts and to her stomach, before making her way back up again. August follows her movements with her eyes. "Everything on this body is a part of that. These breasts. This stomach. These thighs-damn, angel, don't even get me started on these thighs."
"You like them?" August asks, her voice shakier than she'd like it to be.
"I love them. I think about your thighs all the time. When you were those little skirts with those thigh highs? I want nothing more than to be between your thighs, eating your sweet pussy, your thighs crushing my head. They're perfect, August."
Jane kisses her neck, sucking at August's most sensitive point, before she moves her hands up to August's stomach, cupping the fat between her fingers. August stiffens, and Jane shushes her. "I love this, too, angel. I love how soft you are here. I love touching you here and watching you shiver. I know how sensitive you are here."
August feels her confidence coming back, with it a strong arousal. She feels her panties growing damp and wishes Jane would touch her already. But it seems Jane isn't done worshipping her body in this way. She trails her hands up and cups August's breasts, squeezing her nipples through her bra, and August whines. "I think you already know how much I love these, hm?"
August nods, and Jane moves her hands again, ending at August's hips. "I love you here, too. I love holding onto your hips while I fuck you into the bed. Watching your ass jiggle, too," Jane says, before smacking August lightly on the ass. "Jesus, August. How could you ever think you're ugly? I fucking adore you. I worship the ground you walk on. You know how many times I've been absolutely soaked for you in public and I just had to sit there, watching your sexy ass all night until you finally took me home? You have no idea, August. Not a damn clue."
"Jane," August whimpers. "Please."
"Please, what, angel?"
"Touch me."
"Look in the mirror," Jane says, and August does. Her cheeks are flushed, her hair a mess from where Jane moved it to kiss her neck. Jane's hands are still on her hips, squeezing her tight, and August loves the image. Loves the image of her, with Jane behind her, keeping her steady, touching her where only Jane can touch. "Say you're beautiful."
"What?" August says, catching Jane's eyes in the mirror.
"Say you're beautiful, sexy, and the furthest thing from ugly, and I'll touch you."
"Jane..."
"Or I could leave you to get dressed. Your choice, angel."
August takes a deep breath and looks at herself in the mirror. Looks at her stomach, her thighs, her hips, her breasts, her shortness, how different she is to Jane, and decides its something she loves. She loves her body. And she loves that Jane loves her body, just how it is. "I'm beautiful. I'm sexy. And I'm the furthest thing from ugly."
"Good girl," Jane purrs in her ear, sending a shiver through August. She slips her fingers in August's panties, and August moans, tipping her head back onto Jane's shoulder. As she drags two fingers through August's wetness, she whispers, "Such a good girl." August almost loses it right then. Jane slips her fingers inside, knowing exactly where to touch August to make her feel good, and August is drowning in the feeling. No matter how many times Jane touches her, she doesn't think she'll ever get used to it.
"Look at us," Jane whispers, and August does. She looks so fucked out, Jane's hand disappearing into her underwear, the other one groping at her breasts. She looks at Jane, who is flushed, too, the determination on her face to make August feel good. It makes August moan. "Such a sexy sight. My sexy girl, letting me make her feel so good."
"Jane," August moans, her hips bucking as she gets closer to her finish. "Jane, God."
"You gonna cum for me, my sweet girl?" Jane whispers, and August nods furiously. "Do it. Cum for me, angel. My good girl."
August does, her legs giving out as pleasure sweeps through her body, releasing a loud moan. She wishes she could watch, but the pleasure is too much, and she has to close her eyes, leaning back onto Jane's strong build. Jane works her through it, her fingers never stopping until August starts to come down, her chest heaving.
When she opens her eyes again, Jane is wiping August's wetness off on August's stomach, and its hot enough to get August ready for a round two. She moves to turn around, but Jane holds her in place. "Feel better?"
"So much."
"Good," Jane whispers, her eyes softening. "I never want you to feel like you're anything but wonderful, August. You can always talk to me about this. Always."
August puts her hand over Jane's, squeezing it softly as warmth fills her heart. How did she get so lucky? To end up with a woman like Jane?
"I know." August grabs Jane's hand and lifts it, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. "Hey, if this is the treatment I get everytime I feel insecure, maybe I will more often."
"Absolutely not," Jane says, smirking at her before she starts tickling August. August squeals, writhing to get out of Jane's grip, but to know avail. When Jane does stop, she's breathless again, laughing as she swats at Jane.
"You're so mean!"
"Does that mean you're not up for a round two?" Jane says, her eyelids lowering. August smiles.
Looks like she doesn't have to worry about getting dressed after all.