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Okuyasu doesn't fully understand what his feelings for his best friend are, but he's trying to figure it out. As he remains silent, still in the comfortable, warm bed, he counts glowing-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, trying to ignore the palpitations of his heart. Or the tickling of Josuke's endless eyelashes against his jaw.
Because Josuke is so close to him now that Okuyasu can feel his breathing. Hell, he can feel everything. Josuke's arms and legs wrap around him like vines when they sleep now, ever since that dreadful summer day, when either of them could have lost the other. The only child of the Higashikata household claimed he would never be able to sleep again, but the shift of Okuyasu from the futon on the floor to his own bed changed that unfortunate faith.
"... Bro".
"Yeah, Josuke?"
"Is it... Damn. I mean- agh".
"What is it, dude? Just ask".
"... Can we cuddle?"
A single question which turned Okuyasu's world upside down. Not the question itself - it was a question with only one answer, since he couldn't deny such a gentle and tender request from his emotionally damaged friend-, but the further action. The way Josuke's body moulded to his perfectly, the way his warmth invaded his body, the way his scent penetrated his nostrils and stuck there until the next day. The way Josuke could actually sleep, so peacefully, in his arms. Something moved inside of Okuyasu, and his thoughts began to divagate.
And after many days, many weeks, many months of the nightly routine repeating without a pause, Okuyasu is ready to come to conclusions.
No, he doesn't yearn for masculine romance. He cannot imagine himself taking Josuke for a dance or throwing his jacket on a puddle for the beauty, to save the unpolluted shine of his Gucci shoes. But he wouldn't mind spending the rest of his life as a body pillow, protecting the one who would have died protecting him, and procuring the good night sleep for the hero of Morioh.
No, Okuyasu doesn't crave for masculine sexual performances. Or does he? He likes girls. He sighs for a good pair of lustful lips as much as the next teenage boy, but none of those girls have ever kept him awake at night counting glowing stars. Counting heartbeats. Counting eyelashes.
Josuke shifts in his sleep, and Okuyasu turns his face to see him. His long, dark eyelashes rest on his creamy cheekbones, casting shadows that seem to prolong the length, giving his eyes an angelical appearance. The soft, full lips part in a long sigh, and Okuyasu swallows hard, unable to comprehend how a man could be so beautiful. The billion boy looks away, as he imagines himself running his thumbs across the thickness of Josuke's angular eyebrows, or along the plumpness of his nectarine lips.
Okuyasu likes girls, but this far, none of them have arisen such emotions in his heart. He fears those feelings, because he's very close to putting a name on them, yet he was taught that those feelings were addressed to the opposite gender, and that any other way was wrong. Okuyasu has done a lot of things wrong, but he never disrespected a lesson taught by the men who formed him.
In the last few months, however, everything seemed to change its limits. The lines that divided right from wrong were blurred, giving him new perspectives and teaching him new lessons.
And if someone had taught him valuable lessons, that was Josuke. Josuke found him in the dark, pulled him by the hand into safety and comfort, brought light to his life and showed him new colours that he had never seen. Josuke showed him that sometimes, defying authority for a greater good could end in good things, despite the losses. Josuke taught him that love, in its purest and finest form, was strong enough to save a whole town, if not a single boy who had bled himself almost to death, which mattered the most in the world of Josuke and Okuyasu.
And it was strong enough to bring him back from death.
Yes, Okuyasu loved Josuke. That bit was as clear as the summer sky. But how?
That's the question he repeats in his head, as he rubs circles on Josuke's lower back, hearing his soft snoring.
He's aware that his life wouldn't be the same without Josuke. He knows he trusts Josuke blindly, and he would be ready to bet that Josuke trusts him just as much. They get each other, so much, that sometimes voicing a thought is not required; the other will know what they're thinking. They fight, often, but behind every fight there's a fear, an insecurity of the other thinking they aren't good enough. And after each fight comes reconciliation, and the friendship is intact, if not stronger, after it.
Anyone would think they are perfect for each other. Like blue and gold. Chocolate and strawberries. A tidy, long road and a loud, fast motorcycle. A soft cat with fluffy fur and the hand of a stressed soul. They are so good for each other, compliment each other so well. If even the tones of their skin look good, he notices, focusing on the spots on their arms where skin meets skin.
Josuke hums in his dream. His eyeballs move behind the eyelids. Okuyasu smiles, thinking that he looks creepy. Josuke twitches in his sleep, and Okuyasu shushes him softly, petting the soft dark hair that is not styled and humming words of comfort until Josuke calms down and continues sleeping soundly.
He feels powerful, being able to fight a nightmare with a mere whisper. He feels like Josuke's protector. He wants to be. All his life. Spend the rest of his life taking care of him, dissipating nightmares, undoing knots in the muscles of the back, applying lotion on healing scars, erasing evil with his stand, saving him, being saved. Loving Josuke with the passion of a fighter, and that's what Okuyasu is.
"Oku...", Josuke sighs in his sleep. Okuyasu melts. Josuke does that often. He calls for him even in the solitude of Dreamland.
"Josuke", Okuyasu whispers back, holding back the newfound urge to lean over and kiss those lips he knows he can't live without.
"I may... Be in love with you", Josuke mumbles before a snore cuts him off.
Okuyasu chuckles because, damn, it is all so very obvious.
"Yeah", he says, closing his eyes, "me too".
And once he figures it out, he can finally sigh and let himself fall asleep deeply.