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Secondo peaked his head out his bedroom door and scanned the halls for any potential interruption. Once he realized the halls were vacant, which is to be suspected at 1:45 in the morning, he quickly shut his door and made sure it was dead bolted shut. He made his way into his bathroom where an inconspicuous bag lay on top of his counter and a garment bag hung on a hook beside his shower. A sense of thrill shot up through his spine as he washed the papal paint off his face and got ready to paint his face in a way he wanted it to be.
He wanted to look…pretty.
It was his guilty pleasure, of course; only indulging once the rest of the ministry was fast asleep. He tells himself it’s because he doesn’t want to be bothered while doing it because who would tell a Papa what he can and cannot do? But in actuality?
He was embarrassed.
He wasn’t sure why he loved it so much; why seeing himself in a long, black wig and frilly, gothic skirts made him feel free, but it did and he was too afraid to question it.
This…revelation slammed itself to the forefront of his mind after caving and downloading an app that the younger clergy members kept talking about; TikTok. He listened to them laugh at some of the ridiculous videos on that app and thought by watching the things that the younger generations found amusing would help him connect better with those members.
He got a lot more than that, however.
As all deep self-realizations come, it was late at night and Secondo couldn’t sleep so instead of spending another night staring up at the ceiling and contemplating how he ended up in his current place in life, he decided to scroll aimlessly through the accursed app. Scrolling past cringey trends and catching himself snickering at some of the dark humor others post, he scrolled down to a video that led him to where he has found himself today.
A video of someone around his age doing what these creators call a “haul” video of clothes they use for drag began to play.
He wasn’t unfamiliar with the concept of drag; he has Terzo for a brother after all, he just didn’t realize how diverse drag truly was.
From his prior perspective, it was all hyper-feminine, pink and rhinestones. However, this drag queen had a modernized Victorian aesthetic that captivated him. Instead of pastels and obscene amounts of glitter, it was black with accents of deep shades of purple and red, lace adorned corsets, and captivating, slightly haunting eye makeup.
And he couldn’t get enough.
After…researching ( scrolling through this user’s profile and watching each video through its entirety ) he decided that there was no harm in trying it for himself; he has enough money to find a quality wig and a few different outfits as well as enough eyeshadow for a few looks. It’s not like it’s something that he would frequently indulge in. He just had to try it so the thought of it would leave him alone.
That was six months ago and he hasn’t stopped yet.
He leaned over the bathroom counter as he applied the final touch to his nightly look; a blood red shade of lipstick and felt pride in how much better he’s become. The first few looks were a disaster; the false eyelashes somehow glued his eyes open and instead of a sharp cat eye liner, it was lopsided and droopy with specks of liquid eyeliner across his face and specks of eyeshadow smeared across his face. Despite the mess, he never felt more euphoric in his life.
Tonight, however, there was no eyeshadow fallout to be seen and he had finally mastered the amount of lash glue to use so his eyelid wasn’t glued to itself. The wings were mostly even and he avoided getting lipstick on his teeth.
He felt on top of the world as began lacing up the heeled boots he decided to wear for the night. Since this was his dirty little secret, he couldn’t risk parading around the ministry or anything similar. All he did was dance around his room and take photos of himself in each new look he tried that he would hide away in a locked album on his phone to look at when he needed that surge of confidence. He gave himself a final look over in the mirror and giggled in excitement, connecting his phone to the speaker in his room so he could spend the next few hours forgetting who he has to be in the eyes of the ministry.
He made his way into his room looking down at his phone and searching for the playlist he made just for nights like this when he heard a crash. His head shot up as fear shot through his veins and the worst person to find out about his newfound hobby stared back at him.
Terzo.
“Holy shit,” Terzo snickered.
“How the fuck did you get in here?!” Secondo exclaimed, panic laced in his voice.
“You may have locked your door, but you didn’t lock your windows,” Terzo shrugged. “What you should be worried about, however, is the fact that your eyebrows aren’t even cousins, they’re strangers running away from each other.”
“Excuse me?” Secondo scoffed.
“Your eyebrows are supposed to start at the corner of your eye, not at the pupil,” Terzo retorted, grabbing his brother’s arm and dragging him towards the bathroom. “Fucking hell, I always end up having to fix your messes.”
“That’s a load of bullshit and you know it.”
“Need I remind you why you got demoted? Now sit and I’ll show you how to actually do this,” Terzo scolded as he pointed to a spot on the bathroom counter.
“Are you sure you’ll be tall enough to do that?” Secondo taunted.
“Shut the fuck up or I’ll break your arthritic hip,” Terzo retorted as he lightly shoved his brother onto the counter. “Now don’t fucking move or I will intentionally stab you in the eye.”
Secondo merely grunted and rolled his eyes and let his brother do as he pleased. An awkward silence fell upon the two that Secondo didn’t know how to break.
“You know,” Terzo said, uncharacteristically softly. “I always thought Copia would be the other obnoxiously fruity one out of all of us.”
“It’s common knowledge that Copia is the other ‘obnoxiously fruity one’ in this family,” Secondo muttered. “And just because I sometimes do…this doesn’t mean that I’m gay.”
“I know that drag doesn’t mean you’re gay,” Terzo said as he lightly smacked his brother’s head. “But a womanizer that also does this? Reeks of internalized homophobia.”
“I’m not homophobic!”
“You called me a pencil holder for the first five years after I came out.”
“You buy those sticky hands in bulk and fling them at my head.”
“It’s payback for throwing a bottle of wine at my head when I called you out for knowing what the Grindr notification sound is,” Terzo sassed as he flicked the bridge of his brother’s nose.
“Okay maybe I am a bit ‘fruity’ or whatever,” Secondo sighed after an awkward pause in the conversation. “So?”
“So it means that Primo owes me $50 and you can no longer excuse the monstrosity that is your contour blending.” Terzo smirked.
“You guys had a bet on that?!” Secondo exclaimed.
“We have for the past 13 years, get with the times, bald man.”
“I hate this fucking family,” Secondo grumbled, sulking.
“Oh quit pouting fruitcake, you’re making my job harder,” Terzo bitched as he grabbed his brother’s jaw and made him look up. “I’m almost done, you can be miserable later.”
The two sat in relative silence as Terzo finished the final details on Secondo’s face, the only comments being Terzo scolding his brother for moving and Secondo responding with some variation of “shut the fuck up or I’ll have my next sermon be retelling the time you got so high you thought Omega left you when in reality your eyes were closed”.
“Look at how much better you look!” Terzo shouted gleefully as he set down the lipstick.
Secondo slid off the counter and turned to face the mirror, slightly afraid of what his brother had done to him.
However, he was surprised to see that instead of absolutely desecrating his face, Terzo had made him look exactly how he envisioned.
“I look…pretty,” Secondo whispered, a slight smile on his face.
“Of course you do,” Terzo grinned, wrapping his arm around his brother’s shoulder. “I’m great at this!”
“I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m only gonna fuel your insatiable ego.”
“Too late for that!” Terzo said, sliding in front of his brother again. “On a serious note, I’m glad you trusted me with all of…this.”
“You’re not gonna tell anyone?” Secondo said, a hint of worry trickling through.
“What? No!” Terzo scoffed. “I may be a bitch, but that’s too far even for me.”
“You’ll light Primo on fire, but draw the line at outing someone?”
“That’s exactly where I draw the line,” Terzo said with a smile. “By the way, where did you even get the idea for the mess you thought was a serve?”
“On tiktok there’s this drag queen sexysatanus and I love her look so I wanted to try it,” Secondo admitted.
“I have never been so disrespected in my life and Nihil is our father.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You senile fuck that’s me.”