Work Text:
Meet me in another life
It always amuses Kibum to see his own hair sans a mirror, usually when he’s bent down to tuck his boots inside his leather pants and wisps of his blonde and blue hair suddenly come into view. This fills him with delightful awareness of how cool his newly styled bangs look, especially when he stands up and the wind blows his hair and blows up his ego.
The exhilaration doesn’t last long. Never does. Because he’s only ever in this situation, in his killer ensemble of blue and white biker jacket and black vegan leather pants with an intricate crotch detailing, when he’s on the job. A job that requires him to travel across universes to save the soul of every Lee Taemin in existence, and every one of them is destruction incarnate shrouded by incandescent beauty.
~~~
“I just can’t believe I’m dead. I just went to bed! I didn’t even have a hard time falling asleep.”
“That kind of thing happens, you know. People dying in their sleep. Most of the time to males. It's usually linked to cardiovascular diseases. But yours is a different case entirely.”
“How did you go? Was it as uneventful as mine?”
“I…” Jinki refills their cups with black tea, unaware that Kibum hasn’t touched his own cup, so the liquid spills over the brim and on the table quickly. Luckily, Kibum’s reflexes are quicker; he manages to grab a handful of table napkin and block the liquid from spilling over the edge of the table to his beautiful pants. All in a couple of seconds.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!”
“It’s okay. You were saying--?” Kibum feels bad for Jinki, who looks utterly embarrassed. He would’ve been annoyed at the clumsiness if it were someone else, but Jinki is the gentlest soul Kibum has ever met. Never mind that they just met twenty-minutes ago. He introduced himself as the one sent by the Almighty to brief him on “whatever this is” (Jinki’s exact words).
“I’m different, Kibum. I mean, all of us here doing this work are not humans. We were never mortals. Our souls are born on the same day as the human whose soul we would be protecting. It’s as though their birth summoned our existence. As a result, our souls are somehow conjoined.”
“Like soulmates?”
“No, not soulmates. A mortal’s soulmate will always be another mortal.”
“So we’re like ghosts from the past? Do they freak out on the first encounter?”
“We are not ghosts, and no, they don’t freak out when they see us. When the times comes that we have to appear to them, there are no explanations needed. In their souls they understand that we are there to look after them. It’s like they’ve always known there’s someone guarding them.”
“So we’re guardians? Am I going to be somebody’s guardian? Like a guardian angel of some sorts?”
“Not exactly. We show up when our mortal is in grave danger of their own doing, ahead of the destined date of their death.”
“So we’re like good reapers? Great, I’m supposed to just wear black. One color for all eternity. This is damnation.”
“No, you can actually choose your, well, uniform. It has to be comfortable because you’ll travel a great deal in it… through time and space.”
“Why do we need a uniform when it’s a unique outfit for each of us? Kinda defeats the purpose of having a uniform, right? Not that I’m suggesting we all wear the same thing. Eew.”
“We wear a uniform so we don’t get slaughtered by other entities traveling through universes.”
“S-slaughtered? What in the name of—”
“You will have only one image of you imprinted in the tunnel. The tunnel is the portal to all worlds. The moment you’re granted access inside, your image as of that moment will become one of the holograms on the tunnel walls. Every soul or creature, or what we simply call entity, that passes through the tunnel will have all those hologram images imprinted in their minds. So no matter what world or universe or period you end up in, you will look familiar to every entity you will encounter. Now some of those entities are actual monsters, but they will not harm you because of holographic recognition. Well, you won’t be afraid of them, anyway, because their holograms are in your head as well. Now if you decide to change your outfit… that would be a problem.”
“They’re worse than the people of Metropolis. At least Clark Kent had a pair of glasses on. I never wear anything on my face, except maybe eyeliner for a dramatic effect. But really? They won’t recognize me without a uniform? This face! To think I’m called “face” by my relatives because… well, that’s self-explanatory. Wait—so you’re saying that sweater vest you have on is your choice?”
“Listen, Kibum. I will tell you why you’re here with me even if you are, I mean were a human. And I’ll tell you everything you need to know about being a keeper, as what we are called.”
~~~
Keeper. If he hadn’t been hurled into a bizarre life (or afterlife) Kibum would’ve laughed at the pun because he knows he’s actually a keeper. It’s just that he never stayed in any of his past relationships longer than a Netflix mini-series.
But the context of him being a keeper now is like a Sisyphus curse. Being conjoined in soul to someone whose foolish decisions or self-destructive ways will summon him to earth, by the side of the mortal. Or more like at the site of the wreckage, be it physical or otherwise. Although Kibum is willing to admit that it feels like a blessing at times. Like this very moment, as he speeds over an endless stretch of highway on his motorcycle, the pleasantly chilly evening wind meeting him head-on, he shivers gleefully.
Ironically, the source of his delight is the warmth behind him that’s making the cold in front a lovely contrast. Lanky arms wrapped around his middle and Lee Taemin’s warm body pressed against his back. The boy is shivering too because he isn’t actually wearing a top.
Kibum came to Taemin as the boy stood in front of a burning car. He realized right away it wasn’t an accident; Taemin was laughing maniacally, thus causing the trouble that summoned Kibum— Taemin was unconsciously inhaling the toxic fumes while he laughed. Kibum would’ve cringed being held by a psychopath like this, but as he glances at the boy whose chin is on his shoulder, his heart melts. Taemin’s smudged kohl eyeliner is almost a funny but actually endearing contrast to his pouty lips that are jutted out in exaggeration. Kibum cannot believe that a man who just burned a car and has nothing on but tattered black jeans and black markings that appear more like dirt is clinging to him like a visibly upset fragile child. Although he's traveled through many universes, Kibum still finds himself amazed by each Taemin he encounters.
When Jinki told him that a keeper stays with their mortal for days, until they are settled in their soul that their mortal is out of danger or despair and is well in mind and heart, he wanted to beg the heavens to send him to hell. There was no way he’d be responsible for someone like that. Managing his own faculties is already maddening.
But the moment he laid eyes on beautiful Taemin, Kibum tells himself he doesn’t care if this mortal becomes his personal hell. It’s the kind of madness he will welcome.
~~~
The very first Lee Taemin that had unwittingly summoned his keeper, Kibum, was a gang leader. Kibum wouldn’t have taken him for one unless there are real-life gang leaders that are like characters in a Luc Besson film.
Taemin was wearing a white blazer with matching pants— not unusual for an urban gangster—but inside his jacket he wore a black mesh shirt. What blew Kibum away was the black bowler hat with a little veil that drapes over Taemin’s eyes… bright eyes that are sporting a smoky-eye makeup. His fascination was disrupted when gunshots were fired. Kibum remembered that he was there because Taemin will fearlessly confront the shooters, unaware that it’s an actual ambush and that some of his gang members conspired with their enemy. Thanks to Kibum, pretty boy wasn’t killed that day.
Kibum hated guns and knew instantly he would hate this Taemin. Until the moment the gang leader stuffed his fingers with nails painted black inside Kibum’s mouth as he fucked his keeper on a cot in the middle of the basement parking of an abandoned building.
Kibum was aghast because he knew it wasn’t supposed to play out like this, but his good sense escaped him and all he could focus on was naked Taemin on top of him. His longish hair, bleached blonde and crisp, moving around his face as he thrusted in and out, and the chain linking his cross earring to his nose ring dangling above Kibum. It was fast and over quickly but it shook Kibum to the core. He is Taemin’s keeper but he was the one who ended up being in danger.
~~~
Kibum wished the next incident that would summon him wouldn’t involve gangs and guns, but it seemed like he had no right to wish for anything when he deserved punishment for crossing boundaries and sleeping with his mortal.
The second Lee Taemin he met was an exchange student in America who frequently hung out with rebellious rich kids. Members of a kidnap-for-ransom ring mistook Taemin for the son of the wealthiest Korean businessman based in L.A., so they tied him up after taking him and threw him inside the trunk of their car.
When Taemin was finally safe with him inside the plush guestroom of the Korean businessman’s mansion (the man offered a room for the boy to recuperate in because he felt guilty for what happened), Kibum thought Taemin didn’t look like a troublemaker at all. He was sporting the cutest uneven fringe and his blonde hair made him look like a doll. He was in a ruffled cream top and wine-colored jacket and pants set that seemed too small for him. Well, it really was because it belonged to the businessman’s son, who’s shorter and thinner than Taemin. He was trying it on for the dinner party that the businessman’s wife organized specially for Taemin.
Kibum wanted to coo and gush over how cute Taemin looked. The boy seemed needy and was careless in expressing his affection for his new friend. Throwing his arms around Kibum and demanding attention. Maybe this angel was just trying to fit in but somehow ended up in the wrong crowd. But he just wanted to be cared for.
That night, Kibum realized his judgment had become poor in the afterlife. What Taemin wanted was for Kibum to fuck him. Hard. Kibum also realized that not only his judgment faltered but his self-control as well.
Seriously, though, if the Almighty is omniscient, surely they would know that no one alive—or dead—would be able to resist a needy and oh so goddamn pretty Lee Taemin.
~~~
He didn’t do any better in the other universes, and this had guilt gnawing at Kibum’s conscience, like anyone who was raised by pious Christian parents would feel if they had been subjected to the devil’s temptation repeatedly and had lost repeatedly.
Sometimes he wonders if this is all a test… if it is possible that when humans die, the bad ones are immediately thrown into the lake of fire and the good ones ascend to heaven. Meanwhile, the occasionally good/occasionally bad ones like Kibum are sent to a realm in the afterlife where they will be told that they evolved from being mortals to keepers, and after that they will meet a creature so sinfully perfect and so eager to get into their pants. The outcome of those encounters will then determine if their souls will go to heaven or to hell.
It seems charitable that their souls get another chance, but how cruel it actually is when you’re pulled into different universes with different versions of Lee Taemin.
Kibum once again suffered this cruelty when he beheld fashion student Taemin, who also works as a part-time model. It was a fire during a fashion show Taemin was part of that catapulted Kibum into this universe. He assumed it was an accident, but later on he found out it was a plot to sabotage the designer.
This Taemin, as Kibum would find out in the next few days, only wore one kind of outfit: a sleeveless fitted top and flare pants in dark shades. Technically, Kibum thought, it’s a no-fuss, simple attire. Too simple for someone who’s studying fashion and modeling on the side. But holy fucking cow Kibum gets it… because Taemin’s silhouette in that fit is an image that almost knocked down every visual imprint in Kibum’s mind.
The way Taemin's chin angles over the turtleneck collar as a sexy contrast to his cute round cheeks, and the collar itself accentuating his elegant long neck. The fitted top spread over his wide chest and hugging his tiny waist. The flare pants falling smugly on the cute curve of his bum and down the long length of his slender legs. But the outfit’s killer accessory isn’t really an accessory— it’s Taemin’ arms that, thanks to the ever-absent sleeves, are always on full display. Arms that are too muscular for his entire frame. But instead of it looking out of place, it’s a ravishing irony. It’s too sinful for Kibum that when Taemin saw him staring at his biceps, Kibum felt like he was caught with a body part kink. He blushed, and more so when he reminded himself that he is Taemin’s keeper. It’s just arms, for fuck’s sake! Why am I going through an existential crisis?
Taemin was pretty shaken up by the fire, so Kibum ended up staying with him for a whole week. It was the first time he formed an actual bond with Taemin. It was impossible to have one with the gun-wielding gang leader Taemin, who only wanted to dominate Kibum and forget that he is not of this earth. Neither was it possible with the exchange student Taemin who, in contrast, wanted to be dominated by Kibum. He was the boy’s keeper and not kidnapper, but Taemin seemed to have developed something akin to Stockholm’s Syndrome. He kept the rope the kidnappers tied his hands and feet with and asked Kibum to tie him up before fucking him. And the rest of their time together is nothing short of aftercare. Kibum’s encounter with BDSM when he was still a mortal was confined in literature (although he will never consider that horrid novel series literature).
His first two missions almost drove him out of his wits, and the only reason he managed to stay sane was because he was with them for just a few days. Parting with Taemin (the third one) made Kibum feel a kind of ache in his chest. He had been told by Jinki that it was impossible, but Kibum really felt like he fell in love.
He and Taemin III have so much in common. They had the same struggles with their identity and their choice of expression. They shared the same passion for fashion and indulging in it not just for personal style but for artistic expression and liberation. This Taemin was also the first one to notice and comment on his biker outfit and his eyebrow scar that Taemin found so sexy that he shaved a couple of slits on his own eyebrow. Kibum cannot deny that being praised for his style turns him on. Not that Taemin needed to pull anything to turn him on. Even from afar or in a dark room, Taemin’s silhouette alone can make Kibum painfully hard.
For the first time since he crossed over to this life, Kibum questioned why he was suddenly stripped of the will to stay with someone. But as much as it pained him to part with Taemin, his soul has evolved and it will naturally be summoned back to his own realm until another Taemin gets into a life-threatening situation.
Kibum is thankful, though, that they retain memories as keepers. Their minds aren’t wiped clean of memories when they leave a universe. No device like the one they have in Men in Black. This afterlife may still feel strange for Kibum, but the memories of the Taemins he had spent time with keep him feeling alive.
His favorite memory is his last encounter with Taemin III. They were going to an underground fashion show but somehow got lost as they were finding the venue on foot. After making wrong turns in every street, they ended up on an alleyway. They were too exhausted and, though no words were exchanged, it was apparent that both of them no longer want to go to the show.
While they were catching their breaths, big drops of rain started falling, slowly at first, and then it became rapid. At that point they were laughing loudly at their misfortune. Kibum cannot tell exactly who made the first move, but after minutes of laughing, fooling around, and even dancing, they were kissing passionately. Neither cared that rainwater is getting inside their mouths. And right there in the alley, under the rain, Kibum and Taemin made love.
Kibum looks back to that mission as if it was a love affair. Like it was a summer love that he will think about no matter how much time passes. The first time they met at the (burning) fashion hall and the last time they kissed.
It started with fire and ended with rain.
~~~
When he could no longer stand the weariness that wouldn’t leave his body since he got back from Taemin III’s universe, he requested a dialogue with Jinki. They have become friends, anyway, so he might as well fish for more information. He knows the rules don’t apply to him; it was impossible. He wasn’t born a keeper, so what was he doing here? Humans that die do not become keepers. What’s so special about him? Or rather, what curse was upon him?
Kibum told Jinki about Taemin III and the infatuation he seemed to have developed for the boy. He thought Jinki would hesistate, as he always did when it came to sensitive matters, but his friend revealed more than what he demanded to know.
There was a keeper who fell in love with a mortal. That development defied all logic (or the equivalent of this for non-mortals). That keeper was Kibum’s father. Since the capacity to fall in love with a mortal just happened to him miraculously while dutifully carrying out his mission, the Almighty couldn’t banish him, even when he expressed his desire to be sent to earth as a mortal so he could be with the woman he loves.
The Almighty was compassionate; however, losing a keeper will disturb the balance in the universes. A mortal would have to take his place, but taking just any mortal for this purpose is not allowed. The keeper then made a pact with the Almighty— their firstborn son will take his place as a keeper. Since the boy will not be born a keeper, the soul he is meant to keep will remain unknown. The son will only know the identity of the mortal when he is summoned… and this is not the usual summoning caused by a soul in trouble. When the son is summoned from his life on earth, it means his mortal is not just in trouble but is actually on the verge of dying. Kibum remembers how he stopped Taemin I from marching into a deadly ambush.
Kibum still doesn’t understand how his father, a born keeper, fell in love with a mortal. Maybe there really is no explanation for it, only a purpose. And that purpose was for Kibum to be born out of their love.
~~~
As crazy as his experiences with the first two (unhinged) Taemins were, it did not prepare him for the chaos that was Taemin IV.
This Taemin was raised in a Catholic orphanage but was kept under close supervision because he exhibited violent behavior at times. They attributed it to post-traumatic stress disorder; after all, he was a little child when his father murdered his mother with a chainsaw and then killed himself. They were both junkies.
Eventually, Taemin was found by his long-lost wealthy grandfather, who left him a fortune when he passed away some years later. Through the grandfather’s trusted assistant (now Taemin’s guardian), Eusioo, Kibum finds out that Taemin has dissociative identity disorder or split personality. He has served time in jail for assault and battery, although Euisoo claims that the man Taemin almost killed deserved it.
When Kibum was summoned to this universe, it was an actual intervention. He managed to stop Taemin, who was cuffed and being escorted by cops out of his mansion, from grabbing the chief’s gun and causing a bloody scuffle that will cause him his life. Taemin felt grateful for it when Euisoo arrived later at the police station with a lawyer, who was able to get Taemin out in less than an hour.
Kibum wanted to leave this universe as soon as possible. How can someone with the face of an angel end up becoming a criminal? He’s not a prayerful person but Kibum decided he’ll start praying that his time with this terrifying Taemin wouldn’t last longer than a week. In the meantime, he’ll just try not to make eye contact with Taemin unless it’s necessary.
Unfortunately, what Taemin was wearing made it necessary for Kibum to look at him. He seemed to have forgotten all about Taemin’s criminal record when he took in Taemin’s entire outfit—deconstructed jeans and silver chains with steel chips layered over a black long-sleeved mesh shirt. He ended up cursing in the middle of his prayer, so he closed his eyes and put his palms together, like a child praying for the boogeyman to leave. When he opened his eyes, he saw Taemin smiling at him. Kibum shuddered because his face bore nothing of the character of the man he was just ogling.
That night, Kibum got acquainted with Taemin’s Dr. Jekyll. If his Hyde was an ill-tempered criminal who dresses like a heavy metal rockstar, this one was clad in… Kibum didn’t even know how to describe it. He ended up blurting out his question.
“What are you wearing? What’s with the satin pants, shirt, and jacket in sky blue?”
“Oh, it isn’t sky blue. This is called Marian blue. It’s the kind of blue associated with the Virgin Mary. It symbolizes her purity and also represents the skies and her divinity. I can wear this color because I am pure myself, and once my mission is done, I will be among the clouds in the sky.”
Kibum realized this smiley, kind-faced Taemin is scarier than the criminal one, because what on earth did he just say?
“By the way, my name is Francesco. I believe you’ve met my twin brother, Taemin. I’m sorry, he’s a lost soul. But anyway, he told me that you saved our lives so I guess I should thank you.”
Taemin dropped to his knees in front of Kibum, who rebuked himself the second he realized that he had the wrong (dirty) idea. While he kneeled, Taemin bowed low until his face was almost touching the floor, and then he clutched at Kibum’s ankles.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re my… my messiah.”
After a couple of days, Kibum wanted to complain to the Almighty because it didn’t seem fair to look after a mortal with two personas. It seemed like he was dealing with two souls.
But he was no longer terrified of this Taemin. The criminal one is actually just a vigilante wannabe… fueled further by the fact that he lives in a mansion with his assistant, who can very well be the butler Alfred to his Bruce Wayne.
The pious one was definitely more cuckoo. He calls himself a Christian pilgrim and his mission is to build a huge white wooden stairway that will reach heaven.
Kibum has never been more entertained by real people (or a real person who just happens to have two identities) than fictional characters. Although they seem to be polar opposites, Taemin and Francesco share an innocence that Kibum found funny and endearing. But what’s funnier is that he is attracted to him/them too. Kibum has yet to find a universe where he will not be attracted to Lee Taemin.
He was getting ready to return to his realm when Taemin, clad in a black coat and skirt and wearing a black veil, approached him.
“Taemin?”
“No, it’s Francesco.”
“Uh, hi. I’ve never seen you wear black before. Just white and Marian blue. Is something wrong? Did something happen?”
“I’m no longer pure. I’m mourning the death of my purity. But I am not sad, don’t worry. It was you, anyway. I can’t remember exactly what happened, but we were together and naked in bed when I woke up. Maybe I was not supposed to be conscious. Anyway, I feel sore but happy. I’m happy it was you, my messiah.”
Shit. Kibum did have sex with Taemin the criminal, but he didn’t anticipate this would happen. Damn that Gucci outfit Taemin wore to their little party that he insisted on throwing for Kibum’s last night at the mansion. It was actually just the two of them. They were just having fun and playing around a bit until Taemin wrestled him and they ended up rolling around the patio garden outside Taemin’s room. Taemin was still wearing his yellow satin top with ribbon collar when Kibum fucked him.
~~~
Kibum thought it was Taemin III whom he would always think most fondly of and the one whose universe he would wish to be his final stop, if there was such a thing for keepers.
However, in all the universes that he went to before and will go to after, it is Taemin of the fifth universe who will wreck Kibum completely. His devastation is such that he believes it is his ultimate punishment for sleeping with every Taemin he meets.
But this he can never tell Jinki, his defacto leader and mentor. Kibum will never be able to explain it, in spite of his perpetual ease with words. Especially that Jinki has revealed to him that it’s possible for keepers to develop a deep affection for their mortals, but never sexual urges. Even their mortals are impervious to those urges when in the presence of their keeper. Kibum is different, though. That much Jinki knows. But it doesn’t mean he needs to know that Kibum and every variation of Taemin gravitate toward each other with an electrifying sexual charge when they spend time together.
Who knew I’d have more sex in the afterlife? Kibum snorts to himself. The jokes on him, though, because those encounters with Taemin are never just sexual. And that seeping realization messes up Kibum’s mind. Especially after he met Lee Taemin, the King of Kpop.
~~~
Kibum thought Francesco’s endless ramblings on the Bible have gotten to him because when he first saw Taemin V, he could only think of the Garden of Eden.
Taemin was wearing all red and sitting slumped on a platform in the middle of an eerie white room with flickering light bulbs. Red as the apple that held all the knowledge forbidden to a pure human mind, particularly the purpose of being made of flesh.
Kibum is no longer a mortal, so he wondered where he will be in the spectrum of sin if he takes a bite of the apple. Taemin suddenly fixes his gaze on him. He had never seen any of the Taemins look at him like this, with eyes piercing through his soul, like a serpent about to strike. Is he apple or serpent? Kibum didn’t care. He isn’t Adam or Eve; he’s Kibum and he knows very well what has taken hold of him— Want.
Kibum snapped out of his thoughts when an actual pair of snake eyes appeared beside Taemin’s. His skin would’ve crawled if it hadn’t been a mesmerizing sight- a black snake slithering over Taemin’s shoulder and around his neck. Taemin seemed to be enjoying it. Kibum rushed to the scene when he saw someone release two more black snakes inside the room. It’s the reason why he was summoned. The trainer of the snakes is not in the room with them and Taemin had asked the production assistant to open the acrylic cages where the snakes are kept. When the inevitable happened, it was Kibum who got bitten. Luckily, the snake aimed for the part of his leg that was covered by his pants’ extended knee padding.
The filming of the music video continued. The director even praised Taemin for being more passionate after the incident with the snakes. He thought it would unnerve Taemin and they’d have to pack up.
Kibum knew he was the reason for it. He saw it, sensed it, and felt it. He could almost taste Taemin’s desire for him.
~~~
Kibum was more surprised than disappointed when Taemin didn’t jump him the minute they were alone. He was bashful when he invited Kibum inside his apartment, blushing and mumbling apologies about the lack of furniture and his place looking nothing like a celebrity home.
~~~
For the second time, Kibum was summoned to Taemin V’s universe. It was another music video for a project group that Taemin was part of. This time he got into a literal risky business with a horse. He was in a cowboy outfit for the music video, and he insisted on making an entrance on a horse. Kibum loves his seriousness in his craft and also the silliness that seems to be second nature to Taemin.
After his third visit to Taemin’s universe, Kibum knew he had fallen deeply in love with him. He came to Jinki to ask a “hypothetical” question about falling in love with a human.
“You are not part of that universe, Kibum, so no matter how many times you get summoned there, you will still end up parting ways with him.”
Kibum couldn’t get angry at Jinki for telling him the truth. Besides, it’s not like he doesn’t know this. But hearing it directly from someone—an actual voice and not just echoing voices in head—made something in him snap.
The next time Kibum senses that Taemin is in trouble, he sheds his uniform and puts on a black outfit. He knows he is risking his life, but he doesn’t care anymore. If they cannot be together, then he’ll just happily die in Taemin’s arms.
It’s already dark when Kibum steps out and speeds off in his motorbike. His jacket black as night with studs bright as stars. It made his blonde hair and pale face look luminous under the moonlight. Kibum can already imagine the glint in Taemin’s eyes when he appears to the boy.
Before he could get to Taemin, however, he was chased by an ugly centaur. Kibum swears that humans’ depictions of these mythical creatures are all wrong. He was mildly amused at first because Kibum’s on a motorbike and he has no problem going as fast as his bike could go. It wasn’t funny anymore when he sees in his rear view mirror that the beast is catching up with him. He suddenly remembers that entities can kill keepers, and the moment they die, a new keeper will be “born” to protect their mortal. Kibum doesn’t know if it’s the idea of his existence completely vanishing that is dreadful or the thought that Taemin will have a new keeper.
When Kibum managed to escape from the centaur, he vowed never to change his uniform again.
~~~
They ended up watching Taemin’s concerts on DVD. Kibum was in awe the whole time and regretted bitterly that he was too cooped up in the Western entertainment scene that he missed the existence of legendary Lee Taemin. He gulped as he watched Taemin perform half-naked, blindfolded, and in bondage straps. He glanced at Taemin beside him on the couch, now wearing a pajama set and cooing at his cat Kkoongie whom he was also trying to kiss.
After meeting Taemin V, Kibum found out soon enough that he is actually shy and goofy outside performances. A powerhouse performer who’s an introvert in real life.
This duality drove Kibum crazy. Taemin was the one who showed and fed him the best breakfast cereals. He was also the one who figured out how to undo the complicated opening of Kibum’s pants and pulled out all the goods, balls and all, and sucked Kibum really good.
~~~
“He sucks the life out of me, Jinki. But at the same time, he gives me life. This is still life, right? Even if I’ve died as a human?”
“How do you feel?”
“I feel alive. More alive than I’ve ever felt.”
“Then that’s what matters. There are mortals that tell their keepers they feel dead. So I think life isn’t defined by existing on earth. It’s how you feel in your soul, Kibum.”
“I didn’t know you were a philosopher, old man. Sorry, I don’t know how old you are and age is probably irrelevant here, but you just have that old man vibe, and I mean it in the best way.”
“No need to apologize. I get what you mean. My mortal, Minho, calls me yeonggam, which means old man. And actually, that thing I said about life being a matter of feelings is something Jonghyun always says. Jonghyun is Minho’s soulmate.”
“How do you know he’s Minho’s soulmate?” Kibum wants to hear an answer that he could contest, because there was unmistakable pain in Jinki’s voice. Jinki always sounds cheerful when he speaks, even on topics that are not so pleasant.
“Oh, we eventually figure out who our mortal’s soulmate is. That other mortal recurs in all the universes. It’s not always a happy ending, though. In some universes they end up together or break up or simply miss the opportunity to confess. Some soulmates become friends and some just pass by, so to speak.”
“So Jonghyun is the one who recurs in Minho’s universes?”
“Yes. My heart breaks for Minho, though, because Jonghyun actually loves him but he’s one of those restless souls. He’s a real and pure artist. In all the universes it seems to me that Jonghyun was born to wander and wonder, and in his sojourns he manages to create beautiful art. It’s a different art form in each universe. Minho loves Jonghyun too much to confine him in his conventional albeit peaceful world. He cannot deprive the world of Jonghyun’s art too.”
“Are you in love with Minho?”
“I already told you it doesn’t work that way.”
“It doesn’t, but maybe for you it does.”
“But I don’t think about, you know, doing it with him.”
“Maybe it’s a pure kind of love. Old man, are you telling me that fucking someone has never crossed your mind?”
“Well, it’s--“
“So you have! But if it isn’t Minho, then who? Oh my god! Another keeper? Is it that tall keeper with dark eyes who loves to pat your head? Dongwook?”
“No! It’s… it’s Jonghyun! But it’s not my fault! He keeps appearing in Minho’s universes!”
“No need to get defensive! Trust me, I’m happier knowing keepers get boners too.”
“No! Don’t say it like that! I love Minho!”
“Old man, boners can be separate from love. Also, woah! You just confessed to me that you love Minho.”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m gonna walk out if you take it back!”
“I mean… I think I do but I don’t really know.”
“Okay… how do you feel about being Minho’s keeper? Don’t overthink; just spill.”
“I envy you, Kibum. You with Taemin.”
“I’m asking about you, Jinki.”
“I know. That’s why I said what I just said. Minho, though a mortal, is close to perfection. Not just physically. He’s a very sensible man who analyzes things before making decisions and has a deep sense of responsibility. He also values the needs of people he cares about. These good qualities are common in all versions of him.”
Kibum understands this, about mortals having a homogenous character across all universes. In Taemin's case it's the binary opposition of his qualities. It is Kibum's favorite facet of his mortal.
“You said nothing but good things about the man. I don’t understand how it relates to you being envious of me and Taemin.”
“He never gets into trouble, Kibum. So all I ever do is watch him from afar. He never puts himself in situations that he considers dangerous. I’ve only been summoned in his presence a few times. Too few.”
“I don’t care if it is stated in your “keeper’s manual” that you can’t have certain kinds of feelings. You are in love with Minho, Jinki. Is there an angel we can ask help from? You know, introduce Minho to Taemin. Maybe having my troublemaker boy as his friend will make it more likely for you to be summoned.”
“That’s… that’s just wrong, Kibum.”
“I know! I’m joking about that part. I’m sorry, Jinki. I know it’s not a good thing, but I won’t complain about having to be summoned to Taemin’s universes again and again.”
“You’re in love with him too.”
“What? Hell no. I mean heaven no. Sorry, Almighty, if you can hear me. By the way, how does the Almighty look like?”
“Do you really want to know? This will blow your mind. If the Almighty decides to appear to you, you will perceive them as you. In your glorious form. Now, can you imagine Almighty Kibum?”
“God, that is so cool! I so want to see! Yes, I can imagine Almighty me. He will be in a gold outfit with gold chains and jewel studs. And he has a gold crown… a headpiece that forms a standing circle!”
“You and Taemin are a perfect match. I mean as a keeper and mortal pair. You’re both dramatic. Seriously, Kibum, I’ve been a keeper for at least an eon and I’ve never seen a mortal run into more trouble than Taemin.”
“What can I say? Lee Taemin’s a menace. Must be the price he has to pay for being so damn beautiful.”
“No, but it’s impossible for a mortal in all their universes to keep meeting the same dangerous fate. It’s as if his soul wills for it.”
“Why the hell would his soul will for trouble in all universes?”
“Maybe he’s not doing it consciously, but his soul wants to keep summoning you.”
“But you already told me it doesn’t work like that. We just appear and only then does it dawn on them that their lives are in danger. Besides, mortals have soulmates, hello? Their souls will always long for their soulmates.”
“Does Taemin have a soulmate?”
“How should I know? We get summoned and we stay with them until we feel in our souls that they are better and no longer at risk.”
“Isn’t there a recurring soul in Taemin’s universes? The way Jonghyun keeps popping up in Minho’s universes, and I know that in Minho’s soul he knows that’s Jonghyun is his soulmate. I sense it, since my soul is conjoined to his. I even feel attached to Jonhgyun in some strange way.”
“Now that you’ve asked… there seems to be no one of that sort. There’s no recurring romantic interest in Taemin’s universes. Not a single recurring face. I’ve actually never seen him in love or in any relationship. He has a different best friend in every universe, but he seems to be content with just that. It’s not like he’s not getting any--”
Kibum secretly bites his tongue.
“Is there something you’re not telling me, Kibum? Is what you’re not telling me the reason why you’re often summoned to this idol Taemin’s universe? It’s strange because mortals never will for trouble to summon their keepers. But what’s even stranger is that he seems to know that danger will summon you. It’s like he’s deliberately getting himself into trouble. But I don’t understand how a mortal can know that about a keeper?”
Kibum is taken aback. It never occurred to him that Taemin could be summoning him on purpose.
--
There are days when Taemin is so gentle, like a giant fluff or a squishy little doll that Kibum wants to keep in his pocket. And there are days, like this one, when Taemin is terrifyingly rough and hungry like a tiger.
Kibum drove them on his motorbike to a secluded hilltop so he can ask Taemin if he knows anything about the afterlife or entities or keepers. But as soon as he parks, Taemin hops off the bike and strips himself completely naked. Kibum is too stunned to speak or move, even as Taemin expertly works his pants’ crotch to get his cock out and climbs on top of him. He has apparently prepared himself, so in a matter of seconds he is riding Kibum, who has finally opened his mouth, not to speak but to moan.
They’re in a lip lock when Kibum feels his orgasm nearing. He breaks the kiss but holds Taemin’s face in his big hands, like it was a precious vase.
“Taemin, I love you.”
“Then stop leaving me. Aaah!” Taemin releases between his naked torso and Kibum’s clothed one, but he continues to grind until Kibum releases inside him with a loud moan of his own.
Kibum holds onto Taemin tightly as he feels his cock throbbing and eventually deflating inside Taemin. He continues to hold him, but this time in an effort to keep Taemin’s naked body warm. Now that their sex drive is subsiding, Kibum knows Taemin will eventually feel the night breeze on his skin. He buries his face in the crook of Taemin’s neck, hoping that with his eyes shut, the tears wouldn’t fall.
Soon, he helps Taemin back on his feet and into his clothes. They leave the parked motorbike after wiping the seat clean and walk to a nearby bench where they can talk.
“I was serious when I said I love you.”
“I’m serious too, Kibum. You have to stop leaving.”
“There are things I cannot tell you, Taemin. Even if I do, you won’t understand.”
“I feel like I’ve lived many lives and I loved you in all those, Kibum. That’s how I felt when I saw you. I don’t understand why I feel this way, especially when I know that you’re not like me. I don’t know why I feel in my soul that you’re my soulmate, but I do.”
“Mortals have the freedom to choose whoever they want to be with. They may feel that someone is their soulmate, but they can still make a different choice. I was once like you, Taemin. I know that life isn’t all about following your feelings.”
Despite the words he just said, it finally dawns on Kibum why there is no mortal recurring in Taemin’s life. He wasn’t born as Taemin’s keeper; he was born his soulmate. His parents ruined their chances of getting together because of their selfish love. But Kibum wouldn’t be born at all if they hadn’t chosen to be together. His head aches. So does his heart. But he wishes Taemin could be spared.
“But I choose you, Kibum. I choose my soulmate.”
“Don’t you want to be with someone who will be by your side always?”
“I just want you, Kibum. I know you want me too. That’s why you keep coming back to me.”
“It won’t always be like that, Taemin. I will be needed in other places.”
As a keeper, there are times when you have to be the killer too. You won’t be taking lives, Kibum, but you’ll have to kill attachments. You can’t travel between universes with that weight.
Jinki is right. He and Taemin are doomed in this beautiful but vicious cycle. He gets to be with Taemin in all the universes, but only briefly.
And this Taemin whom Kibum thinks is the perfect one for him recognizes him as his soulmate. He should be happy, but it will subject Taemin to a vague and possibly endless waiting game, and this thought is unbearable.
“Even if you don’t come back, I know I’ll still meet you in another life, Kibum. That’s enough for me.”
Not for Kibum, because this is the only Taemin he could ever want completely. But the revelation is still too raw for him to decide whether he can be a killer. For now, he will remain a keeper.
He will not give up, though. Kibum has never believed in traversing along a single path. It’s why there isn’t just one universe. He will never subscribe to just one or the other. Like the garden of good and evil. Like yin and yang. Like Taemin’s duality. There has to be a way for right and wrong to coexist in the context of true love. He’s been played, anyway. He was played in both life and death. So let this be a game wherein there's a chance for him to win.
I will fight for you. For us.
-END-