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ONE: SPEECH
park hyungseok wasn't meant to mean anything. he was just the new boy in class, and jaeyeol's new desk-mate. jaeyeol thought they could just share the table, and get on with each others' lives, but no. things would've been so much easier if hyungseok was mean like kitae-hyung tended to be, with his unintentionally harsh words and careless behavior.
unfortunately, hyungseok was as kind as he was beautiful.
jaeyeol tried so hard to ignore him at first - hyungseok was friends with haneul, who seemed to hate jaeyeol for no apparent reason; he picked fights with their class' resident bully jinsung, and then vasco because of apparent misunderstandings both times. maybe they picked fights with him. either way, hyungseok was nothing but trouble.
even if he was gorgeous, with his wide doe eyes and long limbs and sweet sunshine smile.
he said hi to jaeyeol every morning and bye to him every afternoon with shy smiles, asked him if he wanted to get lunch together even if jaeyeol couldn't bring himself to respond. jaeyeol couldn't look away. there was something so magnetic about hyungseok, and the entirety of the fashion freshman class was caught in his thrall. jaeyeol was no exception.
"he hates us," haneul declared when she caught jaeyeol peeking at hyungseok chatting to her and jinsung, longing to join in but not having the courage to even approach.
if jaeyeol hadn't curled up to hide himself from their sight, he would've seen the severe frown on hyungseok's face.
"jeez, why are you so hot even when you're mad?" he heard haneul say.
"i'm not hot," hyungseok retorted. he didn't say he wasn't mad.
by then, jaeyeol was already head over heels. how could he not be? hyungseok was so kind to everyone, so kind to him, it made jaeyeol want to speak again. it felt like hyungseok could actually see him, instead of seeing right through him as most people tended to do. but jaeyeol was so scared of messing up a simple "hello" or "goodbye" that he couldn't bring himself to say anything to hyungseok, his body betraying him by blushing so hard he had to look away to hide it instead.
hyungseok was probably straight, anyway. like all the other boys jaeyeol had liked before.
but jaeyeol couldn't help wanting to talk to him, to get closer to him. when hyungseok's cheap pencil broke down in class, jaeyeol was first to offer him a better lead pencil which wouldn't break apart. when hyungseok's eraser was stolen, jaeyeol snapped his in half and gave the bigger half to hyungseok. when hyungseok asked what time it was, jaeyeol discreetly turned his phone towards hyungseok so the other boy could see the time.
it was easy, doing that. not talking was easy. wanting to talk was harder when all he could do was stutter himself into an embarrassment so deep it might've been a hole to bury himself and die in.
then hyungseok cornered him after class and basically asked him: "hey, jaeyeol, i want to be your friend, but you're just really bad at talking, aren't you?"
it was the first time someone had realized since he started studying at jae won high. jaeyeol liked hyungseok so much, and at that moment he wanted hyungseok to be his friend so badly it felt like he would die. so what else could he do but not furiously when the words refused to come out? he hadn't intended to, but he ended up telling hyungseok everything. from his siblings, to his father, everything he liked and didn't like. hyungseok shared just as much with him, from their common tastes in vocaloids, to manga recommendations and promises to lend jaeyeol some of his favorite mangas, anything and everything.
what's your favorite thing? hyungseok had asked him curiously, hands smudged with chalk. in the glare of the mid-afternoon sun, he was so beautiful with his mussed up hair and crooked tie and bright doe eyes, shining so brightly jaeyeol thought he might've gone blind. like, what's the thing you think you'd die without?
you, jaeyeol had almost answered impulsively. if he was braver, he could've. but it wasn't the time yet, no. hyungseok knew he liked boys now, and as much as he felt like he could trust hyungseok with his secret, it was too early to say just who exactly he liked.
electricity, he'd ended up writing, with a whole explanation too. hyungseok responded with an equally lengthy essay on how to conserve electricity, because he could barely afford school, food, and the water and electricity bills at the same time so he skimped on what he could. jaeyeol had a feeling hyungseok wasn't exactly the pinnacle of financial success, and at the moment he was so, so tempted to ask hyungseok to move in with him right there and then. surely, jaehye wouldn't mind.
hyungseok was there with his stained shoes and ratty socks and watch that had to be smacked to work, but he was still smiling, beautiful and crescent-eyed and bright enough to rival the sun. jaeyeol didn't know how he could like hyungseok any more than he did right then.
TWO: GIFT
hyungseok's birthday crept up on their class unawares.
apparently, hyungseok hadn't planned on telling anyone, but his mom called him after school, and haneul heard, and well. haneul is known as the one-woman gossip mill of their class, and there's a reason for that. jaeyeol felt terrible. he hadn't known. he thought they were friends. wouldn't hyungseok tell him something like that?
hyungseok's birthday was going to be on saturday, and the class (well, haneul, jinsung and mijin were, and vasco had happily barged his way in) was planning a surprise party for him on friday, just after school had ended. jaeyeol wanted to join. he wanted to help out, he wanted to get hyungseok gifts too, but haneul was still rather jumpy around him, jinsung seemed wary, and mijin was only nice to him in the 'i'm being polite because i don't know you too well' kind of way.
it hurt.
they hadn't asked jaeyeol to join in at all.
well, mijin had, but it had been so awkward for both of them she might as well have not bothered. jaeyeol had started using one of his notebooks as a way to chat to hyungseok, and he was perfectly happy to talk to other people that way too, it was just... nobody wanted to wait for him to write down his thoughts, apparently.
except hyungseok.
so the birthday party on friday had gone on, hyungseok had told jaeyeol he was very pleasantly surprised at everything his friends had prepared for him, then wondered why jaeyeol wasn't there.
jaeyeol just told him he couldn't go. he wasn't even sure why he'd lied. maybe it was the part of him that still couldn't believe that hyungseok wanted to be his friend, even though everyone else in their class either saw jaeyeol as a loner or didn't see him at all.
and then hyungseok asked if he wanted to meet up on saturday.
isn't it your birthday? jaeyeol had texted him. aren't you going to celebrate with your mom?
yeah, but she lives so far away and i'm still saving up for the bus ride back, hyungseok had replied. besides, i wanted to see you yesterday but you weren't there.
god, jaeyeol liked him so, so much. i'll see you in a few hours, then? lunch is on me.
hyungseok sent him a smiling kaomoji back. see you~
they had lunch together. jaeyeol gave hyungseok the clothes he'd bought for him, made sure to snip off all the price tags while he was at it. it was great. seeing hyungseok smile and knowing that jaeyeol put that smile there was great.
they bought their own meals, of course, but hyungseok was craving tteokbokki, so they shared a plate too. jaeyeol couldn't stop himself from smiling fondly at the sight of hyungseok giggling every time their chopsticks clacked against each other.
he was so cute, with his soft cheeks full of food, and jaeyeol wanted to kiss him so badly even with spicy sauce smeared across his upper lip. jaeyeol couldn't even eat spice, but he'd do it, for hyungseok.
"i'm glad you came," hyungseok said with a smile on his face and mouth full of bulgogi, "i like hanging out with you."
don't talk while you're chewing, he said with the trained reflexes of an older brother. in reality, he was desperately trying not to misunderstand hyungseok's words. he'd almost heard "i like you" and confessed on the spot.
hyungseok immediately closed his mouth, kept chewing, then swallowed. clearly, he wasn't immune to jaeyeol's older-brotherly habits. "okay, oppa," he said, amusement twinkling in his eyes.
jaeyeol blushed and looked away, swatting blindly at hyungseok. hyungseok just laughed, poking jaeyeol's cheek with the clean end of his chopsticks. "got it, got it. only jaehye's allowed to call you oppa."
sometimes, it felt like hyungseok wanted jaeyeol to fall harder for him. he was already long past the point of no return, how much further could he go? all he could hope for was that hyungseok would catch him at the end.
they talked for hours at the restaurant, and there was no awkwardness between them. even the silences while they ate were comforting. just for this moment, jaeyeol could've deluded himself into thinking they were out on a date.
but like all good things, it came to an end.
"i have to go to work," hyungseok groaned. "i wish i could've taken a day off."
it's only five hours of sitting behind the counter, jaeyeol tried to comfort him, at least it's not the midnight shift.
"yeah, you're right. that's when all the violent alcoholics come." neither of them paid any attention to the cashier gawking at jaeyeol's black credit card. "i'm so glad there's no school tomorrow. so, i'll see you on monday then?"
jaeyeol nodded. he wasn't sure what propelled him to grab onto hyungseok's sleeve just before the other boy left.
"hm? what's up, jaeyeolie?"
"h-h-h-" jaeyeol took a deep breath, feeling his heart race and his cheeks start to grow warm. "h-happy birthday. h- hyungseokie."
he barely recognised the quiet rasp of his own voice.
hyungseok's eyes widened, then a wide, beaming smile overtook his features. he was breathtaking, almost incandescent in his happiness. "thank you, jaeyeolie."
jaeyeol couldn't wait to see hyungseok wearing his clothes.
THREE: PARENTHOOD
ever since he'd been bitten by a dog at the age of five, jaeyeol had been terrified of dogs. it didn't matter what type of dog it was - as long as it had teeth, and it looked at jaeyeol, he'd be jumping away, running off in the opposite direction as fast as his legs could carry him. it didn't matter if it was one of the golden retrievers kitae-hyung loved, or if it was a noisy chihuahua, jaeyeol would be terrified of it.
hyungseok, on the other hand, loved dogs. it seemed like dogs were no more immune to hyungseok's charisma than jaeyeol and the rest of the freshman fashion class was. when he and hyungseok went to the library to study, or a café to eat lunch, or to the park for a run, there would be dogs running up to him, barking with their tails wagging, and jaeyeol would be jumping up the nearest chair or table or tree as discreetly as he could.
in today's remarkable case, they were in the park again, but there was nowhere else for him to run. he ended up clinging to hyungseok, hiding behind his back as hyungseok gave the dog a scratch between the ears before sending it on its merry way.
(jaeyeol wanted hyungseok to scratch his head like that, goddammit. he wanted hyungseok's fingers in his hair, cupping his cheeks, anywhere and everywhere.)
that was when hyungseok realized jaeyeol was scared of dogs. jaeyeol watched his face fall. "aw, that's too bad, then. i was just thinking of asking if you wanted to adopt my pups."
jaeyeol cocks his head. pups?
hyungseok laughed nervously. "it's kind of a long story, but i, um, adopted a stray dog a while after i transferred to jae won high? her name is enu? and she just gave birth to a litter of puppies? and they're really cute, i love them to bits, but i can't really afford to raise all four of them as well as enu and myself? i've been skipping meals, but it's not enough, they're growing and i don't want them to starve, so i have to send them away, but me and enu would both miss them way too much if i separated all of them for adoption, so i was hoping someone i know and trust who also has the finances to adopt all four of them could take care of them for me..." he looked at jaeyeol with those brown doe eyes of his, wide and pleading. "you were the only person i could think of."
jaeyeol took a deep, shuddering breath. so he was the only one hyungseok could think of to co-parent four puppies, huh? he was about to regret every single life decision he'd made up to this point. all he knew was that he wanted hyungseok to treat himself with the kindness jaeyeol would treat him with, goddammit. not starve himself for dogs.
he pulled out his notebook and pen. i suppose... i could be convinced. to like puppies. as long as they don't bite.
hyungseok gasped, grabbing him by the shoulders. he wore a bright smile on his face, eyes glimmering with hope. "really? do you want to see them? right now?"
jaeyeol swallowed, heart in his throat. sure.
so he went to hyungseok's house for the first time. he didn't expect the four puppies to be so sweet and adorable, even though they also were the little menaces hyungseok had affectionately called them. they were mostly sweet. how could they not be? hyungseok had been their father's figure since birth, after all. he was clearly a good influence on them. like he was for jaeyeol.
jaeyeol jumped when one of the pups sniffed at his fingers with a wet nose. "he's trying to get to know you," hyungseok said with the softest smile jaeyeol had ever seen, "they're trying to see if you'll be a good daddy."
enu knocked hyungseok to the ground with an excited bark before jaeyeol could even comment. he was no stranger to the internet - he knew the connotations of the english word other than 'a father figure you like'. he was not going to make a big deal out of hyungseok calling him daddy. it wasn't even the right context!
jaeyeol sat down cautiously to let the other three puppies approach him. they sniffed at his fingers, his socked toes, and jaeyeol almost jumped right up when one of the puppies crawled and stumbled onto his lap. the other puppies followed, and suddenly he had a lap covered in puppies. he didn't even know what he was supposed to do with them! was he supposed to pet them? gently push them off? hesitantly, he put a hand on the biggest pup's head, stroking gently. he heard a laugh from in front of him, and suddenly hyungseok was there with a phone and the bright eyes.
"sorry for taking a photo of you without your permission, jaeyeolie." hyungseok showed him a photo. it was him, with the puppies on his lap, and an indescribable expression on his face. "you just looked so cute."
hyungseok probably meant the puppies, but jaeyeol could feel his cheeks heating. send it to me, he said, gesturing at hyungseok's, i can't reach mine right now.
"yeah, of course."
before hyungseok put his phone down, jaeyeol could've sworn he saw himself and the four puppies on hyungseok's home screen. (not the lock screen, no. that was a selfie of hyungseok and enu. jaeyeol had that as his home screen.)
jaeyeol left with four puppies tied neatly onto their leashes, and the leashes buckled securely onto his belt. he wasn't sure how he'd grown so attached to them - maybe it was hyungseok's influence. maybe everything was hyungseok's influence these days, like hyungseok was the moon and jaeyeol was the tide, silently rising and falling under the force of his magnetism. hyungseok gave all of the puppies a kiss on the forehead before jaeyeol took them away. "kids, be good for daddy jaeyeolie, okay? he's going to take care of you."
the puppies seemed to bark in agreement. jaeyeol was still flustered by being called 'daddy' in english. one of the puppies licked jaeyeol's thumb, and that was that.
jaeyeol heard hyungseok call him the father of his children the next day when hyungseok was chatting to jinsung, and jinsung practically called them husbands, and jaeyeol definitely did not think about proposing marriage to hyungseok right there and then. he did shoot jinsung in the back with his handy nerf gun, though.
jinsung was getting a little too close to the truth. jaeyeol would save proposing to hyungseok for the future, only if he knew for sure whether hyungseok returned his feelings or not. for now, being hyungseok's friend and 'father of his children' and 'totally not husband, oh my god ahaha' was enough.
it had to be enough.
FOUR: CHUSEOK
chuseok rolled around all too soon. jaehye had gone home to visit their other relatives, which jaeyeol was fine with, because jaeyeol didn't really get along with the rest of the family anyway. jaeyeol was quite literally the 'gay cousin' of the family, the 'miserable one', the black sheep, and who would want to talk to him when there was jaehye who was funny and talkative and willing to interact with the whole world if the world gave her the chance? kitae had wished him a happy chuseok but said nothing more about it, and father hadn't even called or texted to ask about jaeyeol.
as usual.
jaeyeol didn't even know why he got sad over these things anymore. it was just seasonal depression, mixed with being lonely. mijin and jinsung were celebrating together with their families, being family friends with years of history and all. haneul was celebrating with her mom and dad and extended family too. hyungseok had gone back to sunukdo to celebrate with his mom. even jaeyeol's butler had gone home for the holidays. he had a family of his own, after all.
so jaeyeol was all alone, just like he'd predicted.
at least he had his puppies with him.
suddenly, one of the puppies started barking, then another one sniffed around and started barking too, and suddenly everyone was barking and jaeyeol had no idea why. he heard a bark from outside the penthouse - wait, outside the penthouse? when nobody knew his address except jaehye, the butler and hyungseok? - and then there was a familiar voice saying "shhh, you'll ruin the surprise!"
jaeyeol didn't even care that he was wearing nothing but a bathrobe when he yanked the front door open.
hyungseok was standing there, enu's leash tied to his waist. there was a bag of something that smelled absolutely heavenly in one hand, and his free hand was mere centimeters away from the doorbell. jaeyeol could only stare with wide eyes and an open mouth.
hyungseok smiled sheepishly. "i brought food?"
somebody pinch me, i have to be dreaming.
hyungseok laughed, poking jaeyeol's nose. his fingers were cold, his nails a little sharp. "you're not dreaming. it's really me, i'm really here."
jaeyeol shook his head. it still felt like a dream. but why? what are you doing here? he flailed around, speechless. even if he could speak out loud, he didn't know if he was capable of making sense, at the moment. he let hyungseok in anyway, and the other boy took his shoes off at the door and left them neatly in a corner before unclipping enu from her leash and letting her run free with her children.
"i heard you were spending chuseok alone, and there's no way i could let my best friend spend a family holiday by himself, right?" he nudged jaeyeol playfully as they unloaded hyungseok's tupperware boxes of pre-cooked food onto the dinner table. "i mean, this is a family reunion! with you being the father of my kids and everything."
it was an inside joke, now. hyungseok's friends at school had gradually started to include jaeyeol in more and more of their plans after finals had started, and now it was like they had always been friends to begin with. they had a myriad of jokes, from haneul's obsession with boba tea, to jinsung's love of directing 'deez nut' jokes at hyungseok, the one time hyungseok had laughed so hard at one of jaeyeol's casual jokes he'd fallen right off his chair... it seemed like everyone's favorite joke was jaeyeol and hyungseok being a married-but-not-quite-married couple. hyungseok took it all in stride, while jaeyeol was still trying to act like he didn't want it more than he should.
you're not wrong, jaeyeol admitted. but i thought you were visiting your mom?
hyungseok smiled at jaeyeol. "yeah, i went yesterday and i came back this morning- ah! shit! hot! hot! careful of the budae jjigae, it's still really really hot!"
jaeyeol wasn't sure what came over him, but he blew gently on hyungseok's slightly-burned finger and gave it a light kiss. there you go, it'll be better now.
pink scattered over hyungseok's cheeks. "jaeyeolie!"
jaeyeol huffed out a laugh. sorry. couldn't resist.
they finished the food together, with hyungseok telling enu off every now and then for trying to sneak some beef for her pups to eat. "you're not allowed," he explained with utmost seriousness, "it's spicy. the spice is going to ruin your digestive tract. i eat trash all the time-"
!!!
"-i eat junk food all the time, so my stomach's already shitty, but you have to keep yours healthy, okay?"
jaeyeol was too busy smiling like a fool to notice that one of the puppies was trying to climb up his leg to steal food from his plate.
they started a movie marathon afterwards, with hyungseok taking advantage of jaeyeol's netflix to watch all the animes he couldn't find good subtitles for online. halfway through the second season of attack on titan, hyungseok started making less and less live comments, and by the end of the second part of the third season, hyungseok had fallen asleep on jaeyeol's shoulder.
jaeyeol tried to move him over to the bed so he could sleep properly. he didn't mind taking the couch, he'd slept there on a few tipsy nights and woken up fine. but hyungseok mumbled something unintelligible and held onto jaeyeol's arm, clinging to jaeyeol and burrowing further onto his lap. jaeyeol could barely breathe.
he wasn't sure how he'd fallen asleep, but he woke up the next morning with a crick in his neck and the early morning sun casting shadows across hyungseok's sleeping features. his lips were slightly parted, and there was a bit of drool on the side of his mouth. jaeyeol wished that could be the first thing he saw every morning for the rest of his life.
he felt his lips move around the words i love you, but as always nothing came out.
and then hyungseok woke up with a yawn and a raspy "good morning", and they moved on with their lives like jaeyeol hadn't just tried to confess.
FIVE: VALENTINES
jaeyeol was, in general, not a fan of valentine's day.
before he'd been forcibly outed, he got mountains of chocolates from girls in his class, girls in other classes in his year, older girls, younger girls, hell, even some of jaehye's friends had given him chocolates before.
but chocolates from girls were never what he wanted, and he'd never found anyone he'd want to give chocolates to anyway.
so valentine's day sucked, until he found park hyungseok.
he wanted to give hyungseok everything, just to see hyungseok smile. they had only known each other for half a year, but even hyungseok admitted it felt like he'd known jaeyeol all his life. jaeyeol knew what valentine's day meant. it meant giving chocolates as a way of confessing.
and because he was a coward, and a 'pathetic gay', in jaehye's affectionate words, jaeyeol was thinking of giving hyungseok chocolates. anonymously. because he'd die if hyungseok knew jaeyeol liked him that way, and hyungseok didn't feel the same.
they'd never fought, but if they ever did, jaeyeol thought he'd probably feel empty. he remembered the sheer terror that filled him when haneul called him to say hyungseok was in the hospital because he'd been stabbed by haneul's stalker, but he didn't have the money to pay for the surgery. he remembered collapsing onto the nearest chair when hyungseok finally woke up, a little dizzy on the anesthetics but otherwise on his way to a speedy recovery. hyungseok had seen the tears of relief rolling down jaeyeol's cheeks and wiped them away. "silly jaeyeol-ah," he'd said with a small smile, "i'm the one who got stabbed, and i'm fine! why are you crying?"
jaeyeol couldn't explain how worried he'd been without hyungseok knowing how jaeyeol's heart beat for him.
he couldn't bear to imagine how losing hyungseok as a friend because of something jaeyeol did.
last year, during valentine's day, jaeyeol had been ignored by most of the school. but others had decided to make it the worst day jaeyeol had ever had. someone had left insults scrawled on the underside of his table, he saw it when someone threw their eraser at the back of his head and he dropped his pencil. they'd written shameful words from different languages, and made sure jaeyeol could understand all of them. someone else sneered at him in the corridor and called him a dick-sucker. when he opened his locker, there hadn't been any chocolates like the years before, no. there were more shameful words and crude drawings of dicks scribbled onto torn up pieces of paper, and just as his homeroom teacher walked by, to his horror, a packet of condoms fell out.
the teacher didn’t say anything. he only looked at jaeyeol with vague disgust and walked off.
was being a boy who liked boys supposed to be shameful? was he some kind of monster who shouldn't be allowed in society? was jaeyeol really destined to never find a soulmate, when all he wanted was to have someone see him and understand him and love him for being himself? it was horrible, and all he could do was swallow the urge to cry and continue with his school day like nothing had happened.
jaehye might've seen him at home that day, buried under his blankets and biting his fist so nobody would hear him break down. he hoped she didn't see his blotchy cheeks when he stumbled out later to wash his face.
he hoped this year’s valentine’s day would be better.
he’d come to terms with it, now. he was gay. he liked boys. he liked hyungseok a lot more than he probably should. hyungseok believed love was love and gender didn’t matter in the slightest. so he brought a box of chocolates to school - store bought from godiva, because he couldn’t trust himself to make homemade chocolates - and he was going to put it in hyungseok’s bag when hyungseok wasn’t looking.
he was going to, goddammit.
but jinsung kept staring in his direction with raised eyebrows, and haneul and mijin did the same just with more giggles. jaeyeol got too flustered to make his move. feeling more pathetic than he had in a long while, he buried his head in his hands and resolutely refused to look up until class was over and they could go home.
but by the time he looked up, there was a box of chocolate on his desk, and hyungseok had mysteriously gone missing.
on the outside, it could've been just any box of chocolate. it was pale pink, with a lemon yellow ribbon tied over it. it could've been a box of normal chocolates, if the chocolates weren't endearingly misshapen hearts and or vaguely-puppy shaped. it could've been normal, if not for the pickup line in familiar chicken scratch written carefully onto the note that came along with it: jaeyeolie, help, i've fallen for you and i can't get up.
in a nutshell, it could've been just any normal day, any box of chocolates, if it wasn't from park hyungseok.
with what looked like a confession.
on valentine's day.
so jaeyeol did what he did best: he took the chocolates, and ran away to deal with these feelings of his.
was this a green light from the person he liked more than anything? was jaeyeol's favorite fantasy of hyungseok returning his feelings actually true? or was hyungseok just dropping pick-up lines on him because it was valentine's day, like vasco had been doing to his friends all day?
there was no way to know… unless…?
PLUS ONE: WHITE DAY
“oppa.” jaehye grabbed jaeyeol by the shoulders. she had to tiptoe to look into his eyes. “oppa, say it with me: ‘you are going to confess to hyungseok today.”
jaeyeol shook his head frantically. it had been a month since valentine’s day, and a month since hyungseok started avoiding him. he’d tried to ask hyungseok about the chocolates, but nothing worked. he’d used the dogs, jinsung, haneul, but nothing worked.
jaehye groaned. “he likes you! it’s so obvious!”
jaeyeol shook his head again. there was no way hyungseok liked him like that, not after he’d given jaeyeol chocolates on valentine’s day and all but disappeared without a trace. it hurt, you know. the loneliness was like a physical ache.
“my oppas are so stupid,” jaehye groaned, “i’m giving up.”
she should’ve told jaeyeol he’d be kidnapped by haneul and mijin after arriving at school. he was already half an hour early, goddammit, what were they doing here? the two girls were grinning too widely to be normal. “so, it’s white day! we know hyungseok gave you chocolates, do you have anything for him?” haneul narrowed her eyes. “unless we were all wrong and you don’t like him?”
jaeyeol spluttered. sure, he did have some home-made chocolates in his bag - misshapen hearts and puppies, it was their thing apparently, and man chocolate were really hard to shape - but he didn’t want to tell them! how did they even know he liked hyungseok? he’d tried his best to be inconspicuous! he shook his head and tried to leave.
jinsung was standing at the door with red cheeks and an embarrassed scowl. “sorry, man. mijin said she’d watch a movie with me after school if i stop you here, and i can’t let this chance go. we all know you’re gay, by the way. it’s whatever. we're friends anyway, we care less about it than you think.”
jaeyeol flipped him off as mijin dragged him back. jinsung’s words had been awkwardly comforting in that abrasive, seemingly careless way he went about doing things. haneul rummaged through his bag and found his chocolates, squealing triumphantly, just as mijin forced him onto a table and tied his wrists together in front of him with a red ribbon. jaeyeol had no idea where she’d found the cat ears from the maid cafe disaster, but they were back and placed on his head once more. his box of chocolates was placed in his lap. he felt like he was being prepared as some kind of gift.
the two girls disappeared not long after, giggling to themselves. jinsung led a blindfolded hyungseok into the empty classroom. “guys,” said hyungseok, looking around blindly, “what’s going on? yo! hey! what the hell!”
jaeyeol couldn’t move out of the way when jinsung lifted his arms and draped them around hyungseok’s neck. there was just enough space for hyungseok to rest between jaeyeol’s tied arms, and jaeyeol’s thighs were almost touching hyungseok’s waist.
jaeyeol couldn’t move. if he shuffled backwards, he’d fall off the table. there was no space for him to move forward. all he could do was turn red and try not to breathe onto hyungseok’s cheeks, because that probably wasn’t very romantic. “guys,” hyungseok repeated, more panicked, “what the-”
jinsung tugged hyungseok’s blindfold off and ran like his ass was on fire.
jaeyeol averted his eyes at the sight of a pretty blush spreading across hyungseok’s cheeks and his eyes went wide. “jaeyeolie,” he whispered, just a little breathless, pupils dilating, “what’s going on?”
jaeyeol didn’t know how he could turn redder than he already was. all he could do was look down.
hyungseok’s breath caught in his throat. he opened up the box of chocolates with shaking hands. jaeyeol hadn’t put any messages, but hopefully the chocolate itself would have to be enough. hyungseok picked up the biggest, best-looking heart. jaeyeol had made sure all of them were milk chocolate. hyungseok’s favourite. “did you make these yourself?”
jaeyeol could only offer him a small, shy nod.
“jaeyeol, does this mean-”
“i like you.” the voice were near-silent and raspy from disuse, but it was undeniably jaeyeol’s. hyungseok’s eyes went wide, and the same surprise was reflected inside jaeyeol’s head. he couldn’t believe his ears. was it really him talking? “i like you, hyungseokie.” there was more that he wanted to say, but he couldn’t trust himself to say it all without stumbling over his words and making and idiot out of himself. “i like you a lot.”
liked him more than words could possibly ever say.
liked him enough to beat back the nerves holding him back, if only just for a moment.
hyungseok smiled, dawn-bright and beautiful. he was so close, so warm, and jaeyeol wanted to hold him closer and not let go. “that’s nice.” his voice was silk-smooth, and jaeyeol wanted to hear it for the rest of his life. “because i like you too, jaeyeolie. i’ve been dying to know how you feel.”
jaeyeol squeezed hyungseok’s waist with his thighs. he didn’t think he was capable of speech, at that moment. hyungseok’s lips parted as he popped the chocolate in his mouth, moaned a little at the sweet taste. it was a song jaeyeol could get addicted to. “i- is it good?”
hyungseok responded by cupping jaeyeol’s cheek with a warm palm then leaning close, close, closer still until jaeyeol’s eyelids fluttered shut and there was no more distance between them. their lips. were touching.
their lips were touching.
which meant hyungseok was kissing him.
jaeyeol made a surprised noise when hyungseok tilted his face to get a better angle, gasping slightly. suddenly, there was a tongue pushing past his lips, and hyungseok’s tongue, saliva, and a bit of chocolate were all in jaeyeol’s mouth. hyungseok pulled away, lips glossy. he licked them quickly and swallowed. “what do you think?”
jaeyeol instinctively swallowed, even though that chocolate had been in hyungseok’s mouth and it should’ve been gross. it was sweet, like hyungseok. “again?”
it sounded lie a plea. a beg. he barely recognised his own voice.
hyungseok smiled, and kissed him again. he still tasted like chocolate, and jaeyeol was all too happy to keep hyungseok cradled within his arms, and hyungseok didn’t seem to mind being held close until his lips were spit-slick and swollen from kissing. eventually, they had to pull away from each other, because the rest of the class were steadily accumulating outside the door. it didn’t matter if they were told off for being distracted all day, because hyungseok kept smiling bright like sunshine, as beautiful as an everlasting promise.
maybe it was just ‘like’, for now. but jaeyeol was sure there could be ‘love’ one day. it didn’t matter if jaeyeol had fallen harder than ever now, because he knew hyungseok would be there, waiting to catch him.