Chapter Text
Chapter One
At this point, nothing can surprise him anymore. Tim Bradford leans against the rocky, metal chair that food trucks never seem want to fix as he narrows his eyes at his best friend, Angela Lopez. “You know,” he props his elbow onto the table and lean his head against the palm of his hand as he watches her eat. "The whole point of having lunch together is for the both of us to actually eat.”
Angela continues to stuff her mouth with the last piece of a breakfast burrito while rolling her eyes. “You are here for moral support.”
”Didn’t know moral support comes with hunger.” Tim is obviously joking. “So, are you going to share the news or do I have to pry it out of you?” He crosses his arms across his chest and exhales. “What are you worried about now?”
”You are acting as if I only ever talk to you when I have worries.” Angela wipes her mouth with a napkin. “This baby…” she trails off as a thousand thoughts rushes through her brain, trying to find the best wording for this type of conversation. “I - I just feel as if I am not ready.”
Tim arches an eyebrow as his attention adverts over to her obvious pregnant belly. “Lopez, don’t you think we should’ve had this conversation…I don’t know,” he cleans up the mess on table. “A few months ago?” If he remembers the date correctly, she is due in another month. “What’s with the nerves? You’re doing perfectly fine with Jackson.”
Angela groans. “I know.”
“Then, you’re good.” Tim can see the doubt written all over her face. “Angela, spill it.”
“What if I can’t handle more than one baby? What if I was just always meant to take care of one?” Angela knows it silly. She knows she’s crazy to even have this thought but call it pregnancy hormones or whatever, she just can’t shake this feeling.
Tim narrows his eyes at her. “You grew up with four brothers. Your mother handled you guys perfectly fine.”
“That’s - “ She stops when Tim held out his hand. “What?”
“You are one of the best people I know,” Tim reaches over to grab her hand, squeezing it so she could have some sort of comfort. “And one of the best mothers in this world that I feel honored to know.” He smiles. “Whatever this feeling you have, it’s probably labor jitters. And if it’s not, go home and look at Jack….you weren’t in any way ready for him either.”
The memories of being kidnapped that year comes rushing back. He’s not wrong. If things had went haywire, she would’ve had her baby in Guatemala. “Thanks…” She rubs her stomach, breathing through some pain from eating the burritos too fast. “Sorry.”
Tim chuckles. Hearing a sorry from Angela Lopez is a once of a year blessing, if he’s lucky. “Don’t sweat it. You can just pay for my burrito this time.” When Angela laughs, he nods his head at the food truck. “I’m not kidding, Lopez. I am starving.” He holds out his hand. “Money is good enough. Wouldn’t want you to be complaining about back pains if I make you stand up too soon.”
“Extorting money from a pregnant woman,” Angela hands off some cash. “Thought you would’ve been better, Bradford.”
“I would care but this growling stomach beats out your accusation.” Tim laughs along with her as he stands up to grab a quick bite. “I’ll be quick so I can drop you home before Wesley and Jack comes home.” He makes his way toward one of the food trucks. There’s no point in looking at the menu. Even on their day off, they can’t help but come here for a quick bite. Cops are always here. It’s sort of comforting for everyone. “Hey, I’ll get a number two.” He hands over the cash and moves over for the next person to order. He glances over to the sound of a car pulling in, it’s Lucy and Aaron’s shop. He checks the time on his watch, a little early for a lunch break.
“Bradford.”
Tim steps over and grabs his order. Just as he makes his way back over to the table, Lucy and Aaron are doing the same. “Isn’t it a bit early for a break?”
“We’re just getting coffee.” Lucy answers before she hugs Angela. “We miss you at the station.”
Angela smiles. “And I miss you.” Considering her last pregnancy, Wesley has enforced the idea of being on leave early. Using up her vacation hours and with the maternity leave ahead, she should be well rested and hopefully ready for this baby’s arrival. “How’s patrol going this morning?”
“Slow.” Aaron answers in a heartbeat.
Lucy groans. “He did not just say the s word.”
Confused, Aaron can see disappointment running on everyone’s faces. “What? It’s not like I said quiet.” He did a few double takes when fellow officers around starts sighing out loud and throwing their arms up in the air. “Shit, my bad.”
Tim settles back into his seat. “Well, today’s my day off so whatever goes on, it’s none of my business.”
“Unless something major happens and we need our sergeant to be there. I mean, Commander Grey can’t do everything on his own if - “ Aaron stops mumbling when he feels a strong force drilling a hole through him. It was Tim glaring at him. “Sorry.” He decides it’s best to grab those coffees before he say another mistake.
Angela pulls out a chair for Lucy to sit. “How have you been? How’s everything?” She leans back into her seat as she glances between Tim and Lucy. “Anything new?”
Tim can sense what she’s doing and he doesn’t like it. Taking a bite out of his burrito, he inhales the savory of the food as he let the ladies speak instead.
“Not much.” Lucy shrugs. “Tamara moved into her dorm this semester so I guess I am just trying to maneuver at the idea of being alone again.” She tries her best to smile, at least keep some sort of comfort on her face. She knows she is probably failing by the way Angela and Tim were glancing at each other. “I’m fine, really.”
Tim clears his throat while Angela narrows her eyes. “Alone again? Aren’t you still dating that ADA? What was his name?” She knows his name truthfully but she never really bothered to care that much for him. Something about the Sanford kid still gives her a funny feeling. And not the kind of funny that she thrives on either.
“Chris Sanford,” Lucy answers. “Oh, we’re doing fine. Taking things slow…we’re steady.” A brief smile spreads. “It’s actually nice.”
“Nice,” Angela repeats. She glances over at Tim, who isn’t even bothering on listening anymore. “Nice is good for the time being…” She decides it’s best to keep the other comments to herself. What is she supposed to say? It’s evident enough that whatever happened during that undercover op a few months back, things have shifted between Tim and Lucy. Whether or not it affects their dynamic, she doesn’t know. What she does know is that Lucy Chen doesn’t seem like the type of person that will settle with just nice.
Tim finishes the last bite just in time as Aaron comes back with the coffee. “We got to go.” He checks the time again. “Wesley is going to kill me if I don’t bring you back in time.”
“Cute.” Angela laughs. “The fact that you actually think my husband can kill you.” She gives Lucy another hug, not knowing when she’ll see her again. With the size of this belly becoming, staying home in the comfort of her pillows and couch sounds like a better idea as the days go by. “Be safe out there.”
Lucy nods as she waves goodbye to them both. She takes a sip of her coffee and immediate euphoria hits her palate. Sometimes a simple coffee is all she needs. “Thanks for buying.”
Aaron nods. “Not a problem.” As they make their way back over to the shop, Aaron clears his throat as he peers over to Lucy. “I’ve got a question.”
“Maybe I have an answer.” Lucy hops onto the passenger side of the shop and inhales. “What is it?”
”At what point do the nerves go away?” He clears his throat. “I mean, I started being P2 months ago, but these nerves in me….it’s still here. Everything I do and everything I say…it just feels as if - “
“You’re being watched.” Lucy understands what he’s implying. “It doesn’t go away.” It’s the truth. “Everyone feels as if they’re being watched all the time, especially when brass has eyes everywhere. But, those nerves you’re feeling, take that as a win.”
“Win? How is being nervous a win?”
Lucy takes another sip of her coffee. “Obviously having nerves as a cop is a red herring but it’s also something that’s equally important.” She pauses and looks at him. “It means this job still matters to you. It means that you wake up everyday scared of fucking something up because you know what you do matters.” She shrugs, it’s the kind of logic that works for her. Seeing as how Aaron nods slowly, coming to grasp with the words, she laughs. “Does this have anything to do with the way Tim was basically drilling a hole at you earlier?”
”Oh, definitely.” Aaron starts the engine. “That man scares the living crap out of me.” Her laughter fills the shop as he pulls out of the food truck area. “It’s not funny. Even close to a year, he still hasn’t been friendly with me.”
Lucy stifles her laugh. “Hm, it just takes a lot to have him warm up.”
“Well, I am willing to take some trade secrets if you want to share.”
Her expression changes as she shifts uncomfortably in the passenger seat. “Not really much to share,” she looks over at the side rear mirror, clearly pointless considering how much time has passed since Angela and Tim left. “Just be yourself and it’ll be fine.” She can tell Aaron has more things to say but thankfully dispatch radios in through their car. Lucy responds immediately. “This is 7 Adam 7, show us responding.”
And on cue, Aaron turns on the sirens.
. . .
Tim leans down to fill up Kojo’s water bowl. “Good boy,” he smiles as his precious little gem rushes over. “Good job on the run today.” Tim exhales and looks around the empty living room. It’s come to this. Talking out loud to himself on his day off.
He settles down on the couch, reaching over to the remote. It’s not even Sunday so he doesn’t have a football game to catch up on. Having the day off clearly drives him crazy. Other than having brief lunch plans with Angela, today is practically empty.
Speaking of the devil, he peers over to his cellphone with a text comes through.
It’s Angela. Check up on her. As much as it scares you. Please.
Tim furrows his eyebrows. “What is she talking about?” He sends a reply. ???
She wastes no time to reply back. Lucy. Today….today is the anniversary of me being kidnapped, Tim.
“Oh, shit.” It crossed his mind earlier during lunch but he completely forgot about it when he had actual food in front of him. He pinches his nose bridge, not knowing what to do. He was so preoccupied by the stupid dynamic switch between him and Lucy that he failed to comfort her on a day like this. “Fuck.” Great. He’s probably going to keep talking to himself if tonight continues like this. What can he do? There’s nothing. She’s probably home with Chris already. Chris. Tim inhales and decides to ignore whatever feeling that’s brewing inside of him right now.
It’s not a secret that since the undercover op, he has been putting some distance between himself and Lucy. It’s biology. He’s never had anyone explain that kissing is just basic biology. If she wanted to turn him down, she could’ve honestly done it at a different way.
Whatever it is, Tim is just grateful that nothing else happened but those two particular kisses. He exhales and peers at the time, something he does often he notices when he has a day off. Not being on duty just makes everything become much slower. “Whatever.” He mumbles to himself as he turns on the television to keep his mind busy.
. . .
Lucy steps out of her car with a bouquet of flowers in hand. She had just finished her shift an hour ago, taking her time to come here. Every year this day comes, she has this unwarranted guilt in her play over and over. She hates every second of it, mostly because she knows this…guilt…it’s definitely warranted.
She comes to a halt in front of the tombstone. “Hey…” she whispers softly as she cleans up the tombstone. Dry leaves all over the place. When was the last time someone came here? She bends down to place the bouquet down, a soft smile spreads across her face as she stares at the tombstone fondly.
Jackson West
“I feel like I always have so much to say to you….” Lucy sits down on the grass, not caring if her clothes end up stained or not. “But, I never end up telling you everything.” She closes her eyes, letting the sound of the wind soothe her mind for a brief second. It doesn’t help. In fact, it somehow makes the silence that surrounds her even louder.
You’re fine, she thinks to herself. You are just fine.
Repeating those exact words throughout the whole day have been somewhat helpful. It distracted her enough in the morning. It definitely distracted her enough when she saw Tim earlier. As she opens her eyes and stare at the tombstone in front of her, it’s definitely not distracting enough for her to withstand the emotions boiling inside.
”I miss you everyday.” She reaches over to touch the pendant around her neck. “You have no idea how much I miss your presence, Jackson.” And how much I need you right now, she chooses not to share that fact. Upsetting the dead isn’t on her cards today, she doesn’t want Jackson to be worried for her. “You know, Angela is about to give birth soon.” She smiles at the memories of Jackson sharing how much respect and love her has for Angela. The bond that the two shared is one of the best that Lucy knows. “She’s nervous, you know. I can tell.” She pauses. “John’s doing great as a TO. We got this new rookie named Celina and she’s awesome. Sometimes when I feel a certain way and she immediately knows by my aura…” Lucy wipes away the tears sliding down her face. “And Aaron advanced as P2….” She shares what she could for Jackson to hear. As time passes, the stronger the wind becomes. It’s getting late and Lucy knows she should start heading home, especially since Chris had text her earlier that he was picking up dinner on the way to her apartment. She tallies out everyone that she had mentioned for Jackson to now, leaving out only one person.
Tim.
What can she say? She starts biting her inner cheek. “Tim…..” Lucy becomes distracted by plucking some grass from the ground. “He’s doing okay, I think. I haven’t really talked to him for a few months.” A slight pause. “It’s been sort of weird.” She can just imagine what Jackson would say. He would probably comment on what is weird and why it shouldn’t stay weird or distant like this. Suddenly, this wave of emotions hit her, sending her mind to this rampage of memories of her and Jackson gossiping and obsessing over what hunk is on which reality show replaying in her head. She becomes shaky as the flood of tears start coming out. “It hasn’t been easy even if you have been gone as you have.” It’s never easy, handling a sudden death like this despite the years that have passed. “I miss you so much.” She chokes as the heaving starts. “I’m really not fine.” She finally admits out loud. It was easy to lie to Angela and even herself for a while but with everything that has happened in the last few months, she feels so broken. Her spirit doesn’t feel the same anymore and sometimes she feels as if she lost everything despite it being the opposite. Just as she leans forward to cover her face, she feels something on her shoulders. Lucy looks down and sees a blanket wrapped around her. Confused, she glances up in surprise. “Tim.”
He doesn’t say anything but he sits down on the grass next to her. Tim stares at Jackson’s name on the tombstone, feeling guilty that this is the first time he has seen it since the funeral. Life has become so chaotic that the time to visit the cemetery became unforeseeable. His attention adverts over to Lucy, who is still crying. Again, this doesn’t feel like the appropriate time to speak. Instead, he reaches over and brings his arm around her. Letting her head fall onto his shoulders as she cries.
It doesn’t matter that this distance between them is hanging over like a dark cloud. That doesn’t matter right now.
Tim doesn’t dare to move as he listens to Lucy’s soft cries and sniffling. All he does is making sure the blanket around her is warming her enough so she doesn’t get sick.