Chapter Text
Katsuki has been different lately, or at least, that’s what everyone keeps telling him. They say he’s been a little calmer, and that he’s been disrespecting them less, to which Katsuki had replied with: If you like to be insulted that much, then you should have told me you fucking---
You can guess the rest.
Anyways, everyone said he was acting different, which—yeah, maybe it’s a little true, but still! One person he would admit to changing with, at least to himself, is Deku. Katsuki has been trying. He has realized (way too late) that he has messed up, bad.
He has been trying to… redeem? Yeah, that.
“Kacchan!” Speaking of the devil. Katsuki stopped himself from using his…colorful language, and instead settled on a gruff “what?”
“Are you coming for the training with All Might?” Deku asked in a way that was way too cheerful for normal training. Katsuki knows it’s because Deku also noticed that Katsuki’s been trying to change, even if he hasn't mentioned it.
“Yes, idiot, I told you I’m coming!” Katsuki shouted back.
“Okay!” he smiled. Katsuki looked away because sometimes, he can’t handle the literal sunshine that is Izuku Midoriya.
Just like yesterday, Katsuki and Deku walked to the training grounds together, which actually isn’t that bad. (It’s kind of nice, maybe even comforting.) And it wasn’t like the walk could get silent. Deku talked about anything and everything. He talked about heroes and quirks and villains and All Might and— you get it.
Katsuki found out he always felt better whenever Deku talked to him like they were friends. It always managed to lessen the guilt swimming in his chest. He knows All Might has noticed why he started showing up for Deku’s trainings. He knows All Might knows he’s trying to make up for things. (All Might doesn’t know what things though, he doesn’t know about the bullying or the hits or the punches or the burns or the-)
Training was just as yesterday. He was helping Deku with his control on Blackwhip. The training would go as following: Bakugo would use Explosions to quickly move from one place to another, and Deku would try to use Blackwhip to catch him. Deku would stand in his place and only move Blackwhip around.
After training, the two of them walked back to the dorms together, tired and sweating and god, he needed a shower so bad. The moment they were back though, Kirishima ran up to him to tell him that “Bakugo! Thank God you’re here! We have a huge problem! We’re out of Cereal, orange juice, and snacks!”
Katsuki had told him to “Fuck off, Kirishima. What does that have to do with me?”
Kirishima raised his eyebrow at him expectantly. “It’s you and Mineta’s turns for grocery shopping—” Bakugo’s lips curled in disgust “—and Mineta’s asleep, so it’s only you!” he said. Katsuki glared at him. “Kirishima, Aizawa sensei said not to go outside alone,” Ashido reminded him from the kitchen. “And it’s late” she said.
“But I want the snacks…” Kirishima fucking pouted. “Plus! How will Aizawa know if Bakubro was to go out and get us snacks?” he asked her, his face lighting up with hope. “Kirishima.” she warned. Kirishima looked back at the blonde. “Bakubro, pleeeease?” he looked at him with fucking puppy eyes!
These bastards were using the fact that he’s being nicer against him. He’s sure of it. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he asked, exasperated. “Oh my god, he said yes!!!” Kirishima screamed.
“I didn’t fucking-”
“He did what?!!” Kaminari said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
“Where did you even come fr-”
“No way, am I still dreaming?” Jiro said from the couch.
“Stop fucking interrupting me!—”
Katsuki did end up going to the grocery store. Alone. Without telling Aizawa sensei. In hindsight, that was a really bad idea. At least he’d taken a shower, though.
Katsuki went to the shop, bought what he needed (and an insane amount of spicy chips), and left the grocery store like any normal human being. Katsuki was about to go home and finally get this day over with when he just had to bump into someone. “Fucking watch where you’re going, asshole!!” Katsuki yelled. He looked back to see who he just insulted when all his anger seemed to seep out. He recognized that face.. He saw it on the news a while ago.
“Oh, excuse me, I didn’t mean to bump into you,” the person said. Katsuki’s blood ran cold. He took a few cautious steps back. “What’s wrong, Bakugo-kun?” the villain asked innocently. Katsuki felt dread pool in his gut. ‘How does he know my name?’
Katsuki’s mind flooded with everything he’d heard about the villain.
‘Villain Name: Controller
Quirk Name: Death Command
Quirk function: Touch activated. The user gives a command, which, if not fulfilled, kills the person the quirk was activated on.
Quirk with more details: Can be activated by having skin to skin contact for 10 minutes straight. Can work for 48 hours. Can work on only one person at a time. The command can be given to any person, not just the person the quirk was activated on. The command has to be heard by at least one person. The command has to be completely clear, understandable, and achievable.’
“Controller,” Katsuki acknowledged. The villain smirked, nodded.
Controller looked in his middle 20s. He had short cropped black hair and emerald green eyes, wearing simple black shirt and gray sweatpants.
The air was quiet around them. Katsuki used the moment to try to rack his brain to assess the situation. He was alone in an empty alley. It was night, and no one would likely be looking for him anytime soon.
On the right hand, Katsuki was sure he hadn’t had skin-to-skin contact with the villain for 10 minutes. On the left hand though, the villain wouldn’t have shown his face if he didn’t have a plan.
“I take it from the look on your face that you know how my quirk works?” the villain asked. Katsuki nodded cautiously. “Good, saves me a lot of explanation,” he smiled.
“What do you want?” Katsuki asked. “What I want in general? That’s none of your business,” he smiled. Bakugo growled. “What I want from you? That, I’ll tell you.” Katsuki was getting impatient.
“Bakugo Katsuki, while it is true that I haven’t activated my quirk on you, I have, in fact, activated it on someone you know, that person being someone very dear to you” he said, smirking. Katsuki’s sweat dropped. “Hurry the fuck up! Who the fuck did you activate your quirk on?!” Katsuki finally screamed.
“Izuku Midoriya.”
Katsuki's mouth clamped shut.
Controller’s smirk widened. “All I had to do was pretend to be injured on the sidewalk, and the ever hero carried me all the way to the hospital. Which allowed me physical contact to his forearms for about 15 minutes.”
Katsuki cursed under his breath. Dread caught up in his throat. No no no no-
‘Fucking focus!’
“What do you want from him?” Katsuki asked, forcing his breathing to even out. “I don’t want anything from him. What I want, my dear Bakugo, is from you,” he said, jabbing his finger to Katsuki's chest.
Katsuki wisely remained still. It was taking all his self-control not to explode the fucker on the spot. “I haven’t made my command yet,” the man taunted, “and I’ve decided my command will be for you. In other words, you’ll be an obedient little boy and follow my instructions, or Izuku Midoriya will drop dead.” He said like it was just that simple.
Katsuki repressed a flinch. “No.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said no. I won’t be your personal puppet for you to use when you’re too much of a coward to do something yourself,” Katsuki said, his voice serious, steady. “Oh?” Controller raised his eyebrow threateningly, “then you don’t care what happens to him?” he asked.
“You said you haven’t made your command yet, right?” Katsuki asked, confident, “then you can’t do anything to hurt him yet.”
“Yet,” the villain pressed. Katsuki ignored him. “So unless I actually hear what you have to say, you’re basically powerless,” he said.
Controller smirked. “I like you,” he declared. “But let me tell you something, one of the most powerful facts about the ear is that you cannot force yourself to not hear things.”
“So for example-” Katsuki’s eyes widened in realization.
“Bakugo Katsuki,” the villain started, and Katsuki ran towards him. He needed to stop him before he could finish that sentence, but the villain just spoke faster. “I command you to hurt Midoriya Izuku.” The villain’s eyes flashed green, setting the command to place.
Katsuki stopped in his tracks. His breathing was shallow. His heart was pumping in his ears. Katsuki couldn’t care. His mind was refusing to process the words the villain had just said.
“What?” he whispered, so quietly he wasn’t even sure if the villain heard him, wishing on everything that he had only misheard him. Because that can’t be true. Because he’s heard enough about the villain to understand that this wasn’t a joke. Because he heard how many people were killed under his quirk.
“Mhm!” the villain nodded, the smirk never leaving his stupid face. “I’ll set off the rules now,” he was still talking. “You cannot tell Izuku Midoriya about me or my quirk. You cannot so much as hint it to him. You cannot tell anyone else about me if there’s a chance they’re going to tell dear old Izuku. In other words, if Midoriya Izuku finds out, then the command is broken.” Katsuki grit his teeth.
“Here’s what you have to do; break at least two of his bones and one of his ribs; burn him at least five times; make him cry at least five times, and emotionally hurt him Every. Chance. You get.” The villain spoke slowly, tauntingly, and Katsuki made sure his glare didn’t waver. He would think about what the villain said later, in the safety of his own room, but for now, Katsuki was going to die before showing any type of weakness in front of the bastard.
The villain’s smirk only widened. Katsuki didn’t give a shit. “As for the time, you already know my quirk works for 48 hours, so I’ll meet in two days, same place, same time. Any questions?
Katsuki remained silent. He wouldn’t give the bastard the satisfaction of succeeding in working him up.
He took a couple of deep breaths, forcing his breathing back to normal and his thinking back to rational. “What do you get out of this?” he asked, and the villain just smiled a sick, creepy smile. “I want to see you break.”
It was taking all his self-control not to immediately kill the bastard. “You’re fucking sick,” was what he settled on saying.
At this words, the villain’s laughter came to a halt, and he stared at Katsuki in a way that screamed danger. “What’re you going to do about it?” he whispered, his tone sending shivers down Katsuki’s spine.
When he didn’t respond, the villain smirked, slowly walking towards Katsuki. Katsuki was frozen in dread and fear. Suddenly, he grabbed Katsuki from the shoulder of his shirt, violently pulling him towards him and whispering in his ear threateningly. “Nothing.”
Katsuki, finally able to move again, shrugged the hand from his shirt and turned to glare at the villain. “Don’t touch me,” he seethed.
The villain just scoffed, turning around and putting his hands in his pockets as he walked away. “You’re just a dog, all bark no bite.” he yelled over his shoulder before turning a corner and out of sight.
And Katsuki was just left there, with no idea what to do next.
Now what?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The walk back to dorms was a daze. When he entered, he ignored Kirishima calling him and pushed past him to go for the stairs.
“Bakugo…?” he heard Kirishima call again. He ignored him and made his way to his room.
The moment the door was locked behind him, Katsuki slid to the floor, and everything crashed down on him all at once. He had to hurt Deku, and he had no fucking choice. He had to hurt Deku and destroy all the progress he’s been trying to make. He had to hurt Deku and destroy any chance he could have had at repairing their friendship. He had to hurt Deku and he can’t even tell him why.
“FUUUUUUUCK!!!”
He grabbed at his hair, pulling and tearing some stands to try and hide the fact that he was crying.
“Goddamnit,” he whispered to no one. He whispered to the universe. What was that, Karma?
When that did nothing to ease the amount of undeniable anger in his guts, he started punching. Punching anything in his way. Punching at his wardrobe, kicking at his bed. He didn’t care what broke. He didn’t care who heard. He needed to punch things.
He punched until his limbs hurt and his knuckles were bleeding and he didn’t care, but he felt his consciousness seep from him, so he slumped on his bed, ignoring how it creaked, and immediately passed out.
___________________________
Katsuki woke up to his alarm. He said nothing, thought nothing as he did his normal morning routine. His movements felt robotic. He showered, got dressed, ate his breakfast, and at seeing he still had time, jogged his way to an empty training room he uses when he needs to let off some steam. He refused to think. Refused to think about what he had to do until he absolutely had to.
Training had always been the perfect distraction, but today it didn’t seem to be enough. He did every training he could think of that usually took his mind off of things and it still didn’t seem to be working. He decided he’s going to use all his remaining energy on a punching bag.
Katsuki punched it.
“I command you to hurt Midoriya Izuku”
Another punch.
“ You’re just a dog”
A stronger punch.
“ Break at least two of his bones”
A kick
“burn him hurthim makehimcry and emotionally hurt him Every. Chance. You get.”
Katsuki exploded the thing. It was useless anyways.
Deciding that was enough, Katsuki went to class, sweaty and panting, and honestly? He looked like a mess.
The moment he entered the class, all eyes were on him. Katsuki knows it’s because he’s late, or at least as late as he’s could ever be. Katsuki has always been one of the first to enter the class. Today —he looks around— it seems like he’s the last. He ignored them all, making his way to his seat.
“Kacchan!”
God fucking damnit. No no no no-
“Kacchan?” It’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine-
Just pretend you don’t hear him.
“Kacchan, are you okay?” He doesn’t have a choice he doesn’t have a choice he doesn’t have a fucking choice!
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT?!!” he screamed. Deku flinched. God fucking damnit!
Deku hunched his shoulders and shrank on himself, looking so different than the boy who fought villains and ran in to try and save him with broken bones and brave smiles.
“I…I just wanted to ask if you’re okay…” he said slowly, and Katsuki was suddenly hit with an overwhelming sense of deja-vu.
This. This is what used to be the norm. This is what Deku is used to, and what’s worse is that Deku doesn’t even look all that surprised, like he was expecting this to happen sooner or later. It made him sick.
“OF COURSE I’M FUCKING OKAY! ARE YOU FUCKING LOOKING DOWN ON ME?!!” he screamed. Deku shrank into himself even more. Once the rest of the class noticed that something was actually happening, and that Katsuki wasn’t just being his ‘‘usual’’ angry, everyone started crowding on them.
“Woah, what’s happening here?” Kirishima was the first to talk, slowly making his way between him and Deku.
“I thought they were getting better,” Ashido said as an afterthought. She didn’t know how much the simple sentence punched Katsuki in the gut.
“Are they fighting?” Mineta asked.
“Bakugo's been acting weird since yesterday.” At that, Katsuki stilled. “Do you think something happened on his way back?”
No, no, no, no. they can’t know. They can’t know. They Can’t Know!!
“Shut the fuck up, all of you!! This has nothing to do with any of you, so mind your own fucking business!” he shouted, glaring at each and every one who dared to open their mouths. Some of them looked like they were about to protest, but then Aizawa sensei entered, and with one glare everyone shut up. Katsuki was eternally grateful that Aizawa didn’t bring up what happened and just started class.
Katsuki couldn’t concentrate on anything except Deku’s burning gaze at the back of his skull the entire homeroom. He heard nothing from what his teacher said. When homeroom was over, Kirishima tried talking to him. He completely ignored him until next class started. And the next. And the next. And before he knew it, it was lunch break. He slowly looked around to find out that almost everyone left the class. Well, everyone except, of course, the last person he wanted to see.
Deku.
“—catch up with you guys later, I have something to do first!” he was telling his friends. They told him something Katsuki couldn’t care enough to hear before they left. They were the last two people in the class.
Deku waited a couple of seconds after they were alone before walking over to Katsuki. His happy expression twisted to one of worry and concern. “Kacchan… What’s wrong?”
Katsuki forced himself to steady his breathing. “You wanna know what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. Seeing your fucking face is wrong. Seeing a useless fake with a quirk that isn’t even his, sitting in U.A’s chair, and pretending that he belongs is what’s wrong!”
“..oh,” was all he said. He looked like he wanted to cry. It made him sick. Because he promised himself that he’ll never be that person again. He promised himself that he wouldn’t hurt Deku again, that he wouldn’t make him cry ever again. He was trying to change.
“You’re a pathetic excuse of a successor. He made a mistake, and you know it.” Deku looked down in shame. Fucking shame. Like he believed that. Like he thought he was the worst person All Might could have chosen. The worst part was that Katsuki knew that’s how he thinks. He knew, and that’s why he said it. Because he has to fucking hurt him emotionally every time he gets the fucking chance.
Deku’s tears dropped silently. Katsuki gulped.
He would never forgive himself for what he said next. “You should give it back and kill yourself right after.” He wanted to throw up. Deku’s eyes widened in disbelief, then in horror as realization kicked in. Then, he scoffed. It was filled with self-mockery and self-loathing. Katsuki despised the sound.
“I’m so stupid,” he whispered, voice quieter than anything. He looked up to the ceiling, his tears still dripping, and he made no motion to stop them. Then he looked back to Katsuki, eyes numb, and Katsuki was frozen in place.
“You know what I thought? I thought you wanted us to be… friends again,” he laughed, like he couldn’t believe he even let the thought pass his mind. “Stupid, right?” he laughed. Then he broke, and he started sobbing. Ugly and twisted and broken.
Katsuki was going to throw up .
“Shut up with your pathetic whining, Deku! Honestly, how did you even get accepted here? I think U.A made you forget where you came from. I’ll remind you!” Katsuki swallowed the bile in his throat and sent an explosion straight to Deku’s stomach. He tried to make it as small as possible while still counting as a burn. But a burn is a burn and the center of his uniform turned black and his stomach was going to turn red and-
And Deku.
Fucking.
Let him.
The burn was harsh, it was really, really harsh because it’s a burn and burns can’t be soft and Deku had to bite back a scream, but that’s all he did. He didn’t try to defend himself. He didn’t fight back. He didn’t even tell Katsuki to stop. He just lay there on the ground with a burn in his stomach and silently took it.
Why?
‘Because you beat it into him,’ a traitorous part of his brain whispered, ‘fighting back always led to more pain, remember?’
Katsuki grit his teeth and shook his head.
Focus.
“Worthless piece of shit, can’t even fight back.” He said, walking away and leaving him alone in the classroom and going to the cafeteria.
‘Hold on,’ He told himself. ‘Just hold on until the end of classes. Hold on until you’re alone in your room. You can’t break down. Not here. Not now.’
Of course, Katsuki wasn’t going to eat. He had a feeling he would throw it up if he did, so he didn’t bother sitting on a table. He just leaned against the wall farthest from everyone else. His thoughts drifted back to Deku. God, how was he holding up? He had to be in so much pain.
“Bakubro!” Kirishima waved at him. Bakugo looked away. Kirishima said something to his group that was probably ‘I’ll be right back’ or something and left his food on the table to come join him. The only thought on Katsuki’s mind as Kirishima walked over to him from the other side of the cafeteria was ‘would he still be looking at me with the same amount of care and concern if he knew what I did?’
Kirishima was here before he knew it. “Bro, you okay?” he asked, adding humor to his voice so Katsuki wouldn’t get mad at him for showing concern and-
Wow, Katsuki was such an asshole.
Katsuki looked away. “Bro... what happened?” he asked. “None of your business,” He immediately said, trying not to sound too harsh.
“Bakug-”
“Shut up!” he screamed, a hint of desperation lacing his voice, and immediately stormed off to wherever that wasn’t here.
_______________________
Katsuki waited until lunch break was over before making his way back to classroom. His eyes immediately widened when they landed on Deku. He was here. Not in Recovery Girl’s office, not in his room. Here. Laughing and pretending to have fun with his friends, pretending nothing happened. But Katsuki could see through it. He could see how strained his laugh is, he could see how he was barely managing acting okay.
Katsuki checked the schedule. They had Heroics for the next two hours.
Aizawa made his way to the teacher’s stand. “Today, we’ll do quirkless sparring,” he said. “It is very likely for any of you to be in a position where you can’t use your quirks, so if you’re always counting on your quirk to back you up, you’ll immediately lose. That’s why today, I’ll assign you pairs to fight one-on-one without using your quirks. For mutant-type quirks, we will do our best to disable your advantages. For example, Hagakure, you’ll be wearing a long-sleeved shirt as well as thin gloves. Ojiro, you are not to use your tail in your spar, at all.”
“I will now assign the pairs. Uraraka and Ojiro, Ashido and Hagakure—”
Please don’t be with Deku, pleasedon’tbewithDeku, pleasedon’tbewithDeku, pleasedon’tbewithDeku.
“—and finally, Bakugo and Midoriya.”
No!!!!
(Logically, he knew that that was Aizawa’s way of getting them to solve whatever disagreements are between them. And normally he would be grateful. But today was not a normal ‘disagreement’, today he is forced to hurt him. And—
Deku could barely stand.)
They went to the gym, and soon enough, the sparrings started. Deku was doing a pretty shitty job at keeping up. The light in his eyes wasn’t there today. He didn’t look like he wanted to win. He looked like he was trying not to pass out. And Katsuki hated that he had to pretend like he wasn’t the reason. He hated that he had to pretend he didn’t care.
When he finally dropped, Katsuki hit him. Again and again and again. He hit until Aizawa told him the match was over and that he should stop. He hit until Deku was on the floor, biting back screams and whimpers best he can. Katsuki didn’t stop, couldn’t stop.
He pushed back his tears and used his foot to stomp on Deku’s arm until he heard a crack. Deku couldn’t take it anymore. He screamed. It was hoarse and agonized and really, really loud. Katsuki looked away.
Don’tcrydon’tcrydon’tcry-
Recovery Girl was immediately beside Deku. Aizawa was glaring at him, his quirk activated in undeniable anger. “Bakugo, what the hell were you thinking?” he shouted, louder than he even has before, or at least louder than he’s ever screamed at any of them. Katsuki said nothing.
“You’re on house arrest for 2 days until a proper action is being taken. Midoriya is staying in the dorms tomorrow until he can properly heal.” Katsuki nodded. He wondered if a proper action would be getting expelled. He hoped so, that way he wouldn’t have to hurt Deku. Oh, he hoped he gets expelled. He can’t take this anymore. “And I swear to God, Bakugo,” Aizawa said, voice dropping and making it all the more intimidating, “if you so much as touch him, you’ll regret it.”
‘I don’t have a choice, Aizawa sensei.’
Classes were over, Katsuki walked back to the dorms alone. No one wanted to talk to him. No one wanted to know what really happened. Those who were close enough on neighboring sparring mats were completely avoiding him. Katsuki hasn’t seen Kirishima since he… since he… since the sparring matches.
Once he was back at dorms, Katsuki slammed his door shut, not bothering to lock it (no one would want to come anyways), and slid to the floor again.
‘Don’t cry. Don’t you dare fucking cry,’ he told himself. ‘Don’t you fucking dare. He’s the one that got hurt. He’s the one that got burned! He’s the one who got told to kill himself!! How dare you fucking cry after what you’ve done? How dare you cry after breaking his arm!’
Katsuki ended up crying either way. He couldn’t stop what he said from repeating over and over in his mind. “You should give it back and kill yourself right after.” Couldn’t stop the sound of crack crack crack-
“I’m so stupid.” Stop..
“You know what I thought?” Please stop.. “I thought you wanted us to be… friends again.”
“Stupid, right?”
_____________________
Katsuki groaned, waking up. When did he fall asleep again?
His phone is ringing. That’s probably what woke him up. He has a splitting headache. He’s also not on his bed. Did he fall asleep on the floor?
Groaning again, he stood up and picked up the phone from where it was still ringing on his bed.
Unknown Number
He hazily clicked answer and put the phone on his ear. “Hello?”
“Tic Tok Tic Tok”
Katsuki’s eyes shot wide open. “Controller,” he acknowledged through gritted teeth. He could recognize the bastard’s voice anywhere. “Hello, Kacchan.” He could almost hear the fucker’s grin from the other side of the phone. Katsuki was immediately filled with the urge to kill the fucker. “Don’t you dare call me that,” he warned, his voice dangerously low. “Or what? Kacchan?” Katsuki gritted his teeth. “Shut the fuck up!” Katsuki screamed, losing the control he’s fought to have. “What’s wrong? The name didn’t seem to bother you when he said it before you burned him, or before you broke his arm,” the villain laughed, “oh well, anyways, you’re running out of time. You still have an arm and a rib to break. He’s only cried two times, and you’ve only burned him once!” Katsuki stilled. “Are you… spying on me?”
“No, I’m spying on him,” the villain grinned, “I was able to slide in a camera device when I was activating my quirk on him.”
“Anyways, as I was saying. You need to speed up your pace a little if you wanna save your little friend on time.”
Sweat was running down his forehead. His hand was trembling at it wasn’t from anger; Katsuki was scared. He was scared for Deku. He was scared because he wasn’t sure he’ll be able to keep going for much longer.
Katsuki grit his teeth. “I will fucking hurt him enough. I’ll save him, and then I’ll fucking kill you.” he seethed.
“Oh I’m looking forward to it!” the villain mocked. He’ll show the bastard he wasn’t kidding. Katsuki hung up.
…
He can’t do this anymore.
“God fucking damn it,” he whispered, voice breaking. He sat there in the corner of the room, hugging his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth like a little child. What did he do to deserve this?
Katsuki didn’t notice he was tearing up again until he felt something wet on his cheeks. He closed his eyes shut. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!
Suddenly, a knock on the door brought him back from his thoughts. He quickly wiped his tears just in case and yelled, “go away!” Goddamnit he sounded so weak.
“Bakubro, it’s me, Kirishima,” Kirishima called from behind the door, voice alarmingly low compared to his normally cheery personality.
“I said go away!” he still yelled back.
“I’m coming in!” his friend classmate said anyway.
Before Katsuki had a chance to protest, Kirishima had already entered and shut the door behind him. Katsuki turned to glare at him but it quickly died out. What the blond imagined would be a concerned gaze turned out to be the most serious look he’s seen on the redhead’s face. “We need to talk,” he said.
“No we don’t. I said get out-”
“I heard the call,” Kirishima cut him off. Bakugo stilled. “You weren’t supposed to hear that,” he muttered, looking away. “You’re threatened by a villain.” It’s not a question. Bakugo stayed silent.
“What does he want from you?”
“Stay out of it.”
“He wants you to hurt someone, right?”
“None of your business.”
“Is it Midoriya?”
“Shut up.”
“Bakug-”
“Yes!” he finally yelled. “Yes he fucking wants me to hurt Deku! He wants me to break his bones and he wants me to burn him and he wants me to make him cry just for the sake of it! Because he’s a sick, twisted bastard!” Bakugo broke. “Happy?! Is that what you wanted to hear?!” Kirishima froze. Bakugo’s gaze turned cold. “That’s what I thought. Now get out, you don’t want anything to do with this.”
“…how is he threatening you?” he asked. Katsuki stopped himself from saying that it’s none of his business, because honestly? He wanted someone to know. He was tired of carrying this alone, and even though he hated admitting it, Katsuki wouldn’t be able to do it alone. Kirishima sat down beside him, a silent show of support.
“You heard about the villain called Controller, right?” he asked, and immediately, Kirishima’s eyes widened as realization dawned on him. Katsuki nodded, confirming the redhead’s thoughts. “..Yeah. If I don’t do this, Deku will die.” And oh how he despised admitting that fact out loud.
Silence stretched between them. Kirishima seemed to be connecting puzzle pieces.
“…that’s why you broke Midoriya’s arm today at training,” he said, mostly to himself. Katsuki said nothing.
...
“Bakugo I- I’m sor-”
“Save it. I’m not mad.” Kirishima turned to look at him, disbelief written all across his face. “Kirishima, I broke his fucking arm for fuck’s sake, of course you wouldn’t want to talk to me. What the fuck are you apologizing for?” he yelled.
“…yeah, you’re right, my bad.”
Katsuki leaned back against the wall, looking at the celling, Kirishima did the same.
…
“…Kirishima,” he called, his own voice foreign to him. “After all of this is done, do you think there’s a chance he could forgive me?”
The other boy didn’t immediately answer. Then, “Midoriya’s a nice guy, I’m sure he’ll understand.” And maybe that is true. Maybe he can forgive him if it were for just breaking his arm, but it’s not. He knows words have always meant more to Deku than hits and punches ever could, and he’s already said enough. He.. he told him to kill himself, again.
The thing is, Katsuki is almost sure Deku can forgive him. He can, but if he did, it would be because he believed what Katsuki told him. It would be because he believes he’s worthless and useless and better off dead, and Katsuki almost wishes that Deku doesn’t forgive him if that’s the case.
Almost.
The blonde can’t bear the thought of looking into green irises and finding hate meeting him back. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to take it.
…
“Kirishima… I have to go hurt Deku.”
“I know.”
He looked at his friend. “Kirishima, I don’t want to hurt him.”
“I know, but you have to.”
“But-”
“Bakugo, you’re doing the right thing.”
“…”
Bakugo slowly stood up, swaying from side to side, barely noticing the soft tears sliding from his eyes.
He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. Kirishima looked at him, soft, pained understanding filling his features, so he left, going to where he knows the green haired boy will be.
The common room.
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The moment he was close enough to hear sounds from the common room, his muscles tensed. The room was filled with a buzzed atmosphere, a happy and lively one. An atmosphere he was about to ruin just by being there.
Katsuki wiped his tears and entered.
Everyone quieted down, and all eyes were immediately on him. All filled with hate and anger. Katsuki ignored them best he can, looking for his target. Once he spotted green hair laying on the couch, the blonde’s heart ached. Deku was sleeping. He looked way too peaceful to be beaten half to death.
“Deku.”
Deku flinched awake. Uraraka glared at him. “He was sleeping.”
“Well, not anymore,” Katsuki said, no real heat behind his eyes.
“Because you woke-!” Deku stopped her, raising his hand in a placating manner. “It’s fine, Uraraka-san, thank you,” he smiled at her, then looked back at Katsuki. “Yes, Kacchan?”
Said boy forced his face to look blank before answering. “Follow me.”
“Why would he-?!”
“It’s okay, Todoroki-kun,” the greenette told his friend, the same soft smile on his face. The same soft smile that he was just about to wipe. Deku ignored everyone’s protesting looks and stood up to follow Katsuki. Katsuki moved, choosing to lead him up to the roof. Katsuki heard glimpses of the last bits of conversation between Deku and Uraraka before he left. “…don’t follow…. Urark..”
Deku was quick to follow him.
After they reached the roof, Katsuki walked to the edge and numbly looked to the landscape. “What did you want to talk about, Kacchan?” Deku asked. He didn’t ask about his arm. Katsuki didn’t understand him. He didn’t understand how someone could be this kind. It never filtered into his mind how he can still look at him the way he does— the fact that he still hadn’t told any teacher about what he’d done back at middle school. Why- how doesn’t he hate him?
Thinking back on it, Deku never really changed much.
“I’m doing you a favor,” he said, waiting for Deku’s questioning look before continuing, “I’ve brought you to the roof, so go ahead and jump.” Deku’s soft look turned pained way too quickly.
“…oh.”
Katsuki felt sick. “Well? Hurry up!”
“No, Kacchan, I can’t do it.” Deku looked so tired.
“Why not? Scared?” he pressed, hating every second of it.
“No, Kacchan. I have too many responsibilities.” He just looks so fed up, so exhausted.
“Aww, Deku is all grown up now, huh?! You think that just because you got to U.A now, that your worth has increased?! You think any of the losers downstairs actually care about you?” Deku silently looked away. He looked away like he felt guilty for thinking anyone cared about him. “Ha! You do! You actually think they care! Well let me tell you what I think. I think that you need to be reminded of where you actually belong, and I’ll take the pleasure!”
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After he was finished, Bakugo left the bloodied, bruised, Deku on the roof and left for Kirishima’s room. He wanted to die. That actually sounds like a really nice idea right now. Maybe that would atone for what he’s done?
Maybe then, Deku could actually forgive him.