Chapter Text
Kacchan hasn’t talked to Izuku in eight days. It’s been eight days since everything ended. Since Izuku found out the truth. He still hasn’t decided how to approach the situation. He’s grateful Bakugo is limiting contact. Izuku is scared he would embarrass them both if he did. He would probably cry or plead for mercy or something because he still can’t get his emotions back in check.
He hasn’t told any of his friends what happened yet. He’s distancing himself from everyone. Aizawa came to him the morning after the big reveal. He apologized for not keeping Izuku safe like he promised. They both knew it wasn’t Aizawa’s fault, but he apologized anyway. He told him he had a free pass out of classes for however long he needed and that he has to take mandatory therapy. It hasn’t been helping much, but he wouldn’t disappoint his teacher like that.
Izuku actually went to classes two days later. Staying at the dorms was suffocating. It left him too much time to think, and he hated it.
Bakugo is moved to sit on the other side of the classroom for now, as far away from him as physically possible. He is tremendously grateful, even when he knows it’s wrong to feel this amount of danger in Bakugo’s presence.
He tries to reason with himself more than once. It’s not Kacchan’s fault. He had no choice. He actually saved you. Yet, the moment he actually meets his ex-friend’s eyes, he can’t stop the shivers that wrack his body. He’s scared.
After classes end, Kirishima comes over to him. “Yo, bro! How’ve you been!” Izuku forces on the most genuine smile he can muster before looking up to Kirishima. “Hey Kirishima-kun. Is there something you needed?”
Kirishima nods, and it looks slightly solemn. “Actually, there is. Can we talk?”
Izuku nods, confused and slightly concerned. “Of course. Are you okay?” Kirishima waves off his concern. “I’m good. Don’t worry, man.”
Kirishima ends up taking him to his room. He likes Kirishima’s room. It speaks of workouts and hard work. Kirishima mentions for him to have a seat, and only when they’re both seated next to each other on the bed, tea in hand, does Kirishima start.
“Do you remember when you asked me to check up on Bakugo because you believed he wouldn’t hurt you for no reason?” Izuku tenses, and his eyes widen slightly. He doesn’t know where this is going. He doesn’t know if Bakugo told him. He doesn’t know why this is coming up so suddenly.
He takes a deep breath. “Yes?”
“I walked up to his room like you asked, and I overheard him on a phone-call.” Izuku’s brows frown in confusion. He doesn’t know why any of this is relevant. “It was with a villain,” Kirishima continues. “Controller.”
Izuku straightens his back, suddenly all too invested. Kirishima continues on. “That was when I found out what was happening. When I entered the room and confronted Bakugo, he broke down. He was crying.”
Izuku’s heart twists. It has been eight days. He still hasn’t gotten to the point where he thinks how Kacchan must have felt. Call it what you will, but his betrayal hasn’t worn out yet. It was irrational, and he knew that Kacchan had no choice, but every time he looks at him, all he can see is Bakugo breaking his bones and telling him to jump off a roof.
It has been eight days, and Izuku is finally getting a new perspective.
“He kept repeating that he didn’t want to hurt you. Over and over and over again. I know I shouldn’t be telling you any of this, but God, Midoriya, I feel bad for both of you.”
Izuku is still showing no reaction. Because he doesn’t know how to react. He keeps looking at Kirishima, seeing how he took a deep breath before continuing. “When he took you to the roof after that, I stuck out behind him. And I know I shouldn’t have done that, and I’m sorry.”
Surprisingly, even to himself, all Izuku feels at that statement is anger. “You knew,” Izuku says, talking a steading breath to try and calm himself down. “You knew that Kacchan beat me up at the roof, and you left me there?” Kirishima is looking like the thought hasn’t even crossed his mind before, but Izuku doesn’t care about that right now. He gives off a laugh that lacks any humor, and really, he thinks he could be going insane.
“Kacchan told me the villain’s rules and conditions, and nothing that goddamn villain said would’ve stopped you from at least taking me to Recovery Girl.”
Rage is clouding his thoughts. All he can think about is how Kirishima was hiding wherever he was, watching Izuku stand just to fall again, trying to leave multiple times, and doing absolutely nothing about it.
He doesn’t scoff, but it’s a close thing. At least Kirishima has the fucking decency to look guilty.
“I couldn’t stand it.”
“What?”
“I couldn’t stand watching for more than ten minutes. You were both in so much pain and I felt so helpless that I just went back inside. And I’m sorry. I know I should have sucked it up and stayed in case you needed help and I know I should’ve asked Bakugo about you when he came back, but his broken, horrified look made me unable to open my mouth. I’m sorry, Midoriya.”
Izuku takes a deep breath. Lets it out slowly. God he has a headache. Why is he even mad at Kirishima right now? He knows Kirishima is a good person.
“I’m sorry, Kirishima,” Izuku tells him with a sigh. He slides his hand over his face as if that would keep him sane. “I shouldn’t have lashed out on you like that. I just- I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Kirishima’s face softens slightly, looking relieved that Izuku isn’t mad at him. And wow, Izuku feels like an asshole. “You shouldn’t apologize man. You’re right.” Izuku is ready to protest, but Kirishima doesn’t let him. “And besides, you’ve been through a lot.”
Izuku gives him a small smile. It’s all he can muster at the moment. “Thank you,” he says. Kirishima gives him a reassuring grin, as if saying ‘everything’s gonna be alright’. He doesn’t know if he believes it yet, but he sure is grateful for it.
After a beat, Izuku remembers their original conversation. “Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?” he asks.
Kirishima closes his eyes for three seconds, steading himself. “Bakugo told me, when the quirk wears off, he would completely keep himself away from you. He said he knew you wouldn’t want him around, and he said that it was the least he could do after everything he did.”
Izuku doesn’t know what face he’s making. What he does know is that his heart is beating too fast, and that he’s ice-cold all over.
“But the thing is,” he continues, “is that Bakugo isn’t just isolating himself from you. He’s isolating himself from the world.
“The moment class let’s up, he runs to his room and locks the door, and I just know he’s torturing himself with guilt in there. I’m not telling you you have to talk to him. I would completely understand if you didn’t want to, but…” He sighs. Runs his hand through his hair. “I guess I just wanted you to see the incident in a different light.”
Sensing the redhead finished talking, he stands up. “Thank you for telling me, Kirishima. I appreciate it, really.” Said boy flashes him an earnest smile, teeth and all. “It’s nothing, man. I’m here if you need anything.” Those words are enough to make him feel warmer already.
“Goodnight, Kirishima-kun,” he calls over his back.
“Goodnight!”
Unsurprisingly, Izuku slept very little that night.
It took a lot of bravery, in Izuku’s very humble opinion, to be standing in front of Kacchan’s room right now. He did not plan what he will say. He did not plan anything at all.
Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.
He knocks on the door.
“Kirishima I told you to leave me the fuck alone!”
Izuku sighs. Takes a deep breath. Lets it out.
“Kacchan, it’s me.” The silence that follows is almost suffocating. It makes him re-think his decisions until there’s shuffling on the other side of the door, and Kacchan slides the thing open. “What are you doing here?” he asks, looking at him like he can’t believe his own eyes. Izuku is silent for a few moments.
“Can I come in?”
Bakugo opens the door further for him, still maintaining eye contact. It makes Izuku anxious. He decides to break it off by entering the room, muttering a ‘thank you for having me’ as he does.
He stands there awkwardly, waiting as Kacchan closes the door and comes to stand in front of him. It is a few more seconds before the silence becomes unbearable, and Izuku shuffles on his feet. “Um, I talked to Kirishima yesterday.”
Kacchan’s shock isn’t as evident as before, but it’s there. “You don’t have to be here just because he told you to,” Kacchan says immediately. Izuku is quick to defend himself. “I am not. I just…” Shit. He did not think this through. “I wanted to ask you some questions,” he says quickly. He hopes he doesn’t sound as hesitant as it is. Kacchan raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t comment. “Go ahead.”
He wracks his brain for something to say. He’s stayed up all nights with questions filling his head, where did they go when he needs them?! It takes a suspicious amount of time before he actually asks.
“I wanted to ask about the villain’s motive.”
Izuku wonders what he did wrong, because he has never seen Katsuki Bakugo look so uncomfortable in his life. He was looking away and tapping his foot anxiously, and Izuku is sure that, had it been any other situation, Izuku would’ve been kicked out by now.
Still, Kacchan answers his question, looking for all the world like he’d rather be anywhere else. He’s still looking away when he says, “he wanted to break me.”
Izuku feels incredulous. “He wanted to hurt you, so he made you hurt me?!” He laughs, slightly crazily, and it’s enough to make Bakugo look back at him. “Well then, the villain knows nothing about you, does he? I mean, wouldn’t it have been more effective if it was Kirishima or something?”
Bakugo probably wanted to say something, but Izuku wasn’t done. He was smiling now. “Or maybe I was the easiest to get to, huh? Maybe he saw me and thought, might as well. Because I’m the most naïve one, right? Because I’m the most gullible?!” He was going insane, but Bakugo was still keeping his cool. It pissed him off.
“He did know me,” Bakugo says suddenly, calmly, making the green-head snap his head towards him. “He did know me. You were the most effective. Somehow, the villain knew I was trying to make amends with you. I don’t know how much he knew, but he knew enough to understand that you were the best person he could’ve chosen to get to his goal.”
He’s not surprised, but he is slightly annoyed to find tears slipping from his eyes. Bakugo has never been this honest before. Izuku guesses that maybe it’s the guilt.
So he did want to make amends. Izuku wasn’t being delusional.
“I hated ruining all the progress we made just because of a stupid villain. As much as I hate to admit it, Controller ended up exactly where he wanted. You’re back to being scared of me.”
Izuku’s indignant. “Excuse me? I am not scared of you.”
“I’m not blaming you, Deku. It’s not your fault.” Izuku is silent. He has no words.
“That’s why I won’t bother you again. I really am sorry.” He looks so earnest, so calm.
Izuku will not let the villain win. He will not let the villain win.
Looking at Kacchan right now makes him believe with his heart that he changed, that they both did.
He can do it.
He takes a step forward.
He’s not scared.
He takes one more until they’re directly in front of each other.
Katsuki will not hurt him. Izuku trusts him.
He opens his arms, and he hugs his blond childhood friend. They both freeze then. If Kacchan pushes him away, then there’s that. Izuku would not attempt communication again, and that will be the end of it.
Izuku feels how tense Bakugo really is. He knows he shouldn’t do this. Knows how much the other hates physical touch, but he’s doing this to prove something to himself just as much as for Bakugo.
Slowly, very slowly, Kacchan puts his hands around his shoulder. It’s awkward, and more stunned that anything, but Izuku feels himself relax. He feels himself let out a tight breath.
“Thank you for saving my life,” he whispers. Izuku will not let go, and he isn’t really sure about it, but he feels his hair getting damp.
And he thinks that he finally made the right choice.