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A quiet day at the supermarket (or so he thought)

Summary:

(Circle Fic, posted as is without grammar and spelling correction.)

WARNING: This is an unbetaed and mostly-nonsensical chaotic 8-person CIRCLE Fic published as-is, typos and all, for laughs. Leave your sanity at the door and don't flame us for atrocious grammar, absolutely ignoring canon and characterisation, and making this fic give "My Immortal" a run for its money (Seriously, only one of us knows who Morse is and the others don't care. Like the fact that Morse wasn't supposed to be married like ever, but here he is. Or that he's a robot in this universe. Be warned.)

 

Summary: Morse went to the supermarket. It did not went well as expected.

Excerpt: “Why is there a platypus in a supermarket?”

TW: Domestic violence, animal cruelty, robot cruelty

Notes:

Circle Fic: One person writes one or more sentences as part of a story. Another person continues the story by adding new sentences and so on, developing the story in the process.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

On a rainy day, Detective Inspector Morse finds himself standing in front of a supermarket.

He looked down at the list his wife had sent with him: eggs, milk, apples (fucking cosmic crisps not that organic shit, Horse), carmel sauce, salmon heads, dynamite...

DYNAMITE?!?! what the fu- I mean- heck was going on? Did his wife not think of getting some other building materials to cover up the evidance?

He resigns himself to his task and walks ahead. Straight into the clear supermarket doors. “What the h-” Was it not Sunday today?

He really needed to get his memory implants fixed (bloody silicon circuitry)

Those damn cockroaches! He should really watch where he falls asleep. Thanks to those litter termites he has to go through the hassle of trying to find someone to fix his implants. But anyways as he looks in the market..

He sees a platypus!

The platypus is wearing a hat, and appears to be... animated??? Not as in he was really moving a lot, but, he literally looked like a cartoon? ...And was holding a briefcase.

 

“Why is there a platypus in a supermarket?” Morse was baffled, before a blue hedgehog riding a supermarket trolley passed by.

A bit confuzzled, but not wanting to risk facing his wife's wrath if he came home empty-handed and full of wild animal stories again, Morse knocked on the windowpane of the door, trying to get the platypus's attention. "Excuse me, sir! Or miss? Are you open??"

The platypus squawked and pointed to a sign: Go away Doof. He raised an eyebrow. The platypus rolled their eyes and pointed to the other sign. Not secret headquarters. "What?" The Platypus' eyes widened. They flipped the Not secret headquarters sign to "Open 24/7"

Reluctantly, the Platypus' activates the weapons' defense system and starts counting down on his fingers.

Morse quickly jumped to the side, reconsidering

BOOOOOMM

a huge explosion erupts, throwing Morse 46 feet into the air.

Morse falls and bounces as if he were on a trampoline instead of concrete. He wonders if this is related to what happened to his cousin. The poor man was shipped off to a boarding school after that incident.

"Well, so much for getting the dynamite today," thinks Endeavour, "that's definitely gone. I wonder if there's any caramel left?"

 

From the rubble, his keen blue eyes spotted something interesting (he’s a bad detective if he did not see that) and altogether worrying.

It was a tiny webbed hand and without knowing why, Morse found himself reaching out for the hand. It was still warm against his palm. But unmoving. And morse knew deep down that the small webbed hand would never move again.

A chihuahua in a fedora soon ran to the small webbed hand in the rubble. It was dialing something on it’s watch. Morse looked at it, wondering what it was doing. Catching him by surprise, the dog grabbed his wrist and they were sucked into a glowing hole that sent them back to the before the bomb exploded. Seeing the teal platypus on the counter brought tears to Morse’s eyes.

“What’ll it be today, sir? Shotgun? Zombie repellent? Death star plans?” The dog squinted at Morse and sniffed. “Wait. Sorry, I think I have you mistaken for someone else. Grocery shopping, per chance?”

Morse blinked and decided that this was getting too complicated to keep up with. 'Umm, yes. I would like some caramel sauce please.'

"oh I'm afraid that this market is fresh out of caramel sauce"

says the tiny mutt

"but I should have some.... Right here!" The dog reaches behind it's back and seemingly pulls the bottle out of no where.

Morse blinks again, but accepts it. It's far too early in the morning to question these things.

Endeavour, feeling like this is too familiar, frantically scans the - shop? secret hq? - for the TNT, or anything that could cause an imminent explosion. Time is quite literally running out.

 

He then recalled the Platypus with a hat (one not to dissimilar to his old mentor Fred’s own hat) and some buttons said Platypus pressed. He needs to find them again, pronto. And so he raced down the aisles, looking for that glass door entrance he knocked moments ago.

Morse ran to find the entrance to stop that platypus from killing himself. But he skidded to a hault as a shiny revolving red sign caught his eye: DYANMITE BUY ONE GET ONE FREE SALE

 

Looking around in surprise, he saw himself at the storefront talking to the platypus. He started towards himself when a small paw on his arm stopped him. The chihuahua shook its head, and they continued to walk to the back. Reaching the manager’s office, they walked in. Seeing the platypus talking to a old man with a white mustache and a small man with red hair, pimples, and purple frames. Morse backed out of the room and ran to find the back door. Reaching it, he made his escape with the groceries. “That’s enough for one day, cause i need to get to my wife before she blows.” After a while, he finally reached his house. Opening the door, he saw his wife in a facial mask and curlers in her hair. In her hands were a rolling pin. Gulping, he tried to explain his lateness. Wifey didn’t listen, and bashed his head open. Wires fell out, metal bent out of shape. That was the end of Morse until another scientist rebuild him with his memory code.

Notes:

RIP Robot!Morse. But at least he got married in this universe LOL.

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