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Morning light shines through the open window, accompanied by the smell of primrose and burnt pastry in the air. Primroses. Today's valentine. A ridiculous day to someone like Vanitas, a day, which only brings disappointing rejections, loneliness, and a waste of money with it. But this year, it's different.
This year, he's with Noé, and this year, on valentines, this dear Noé is pinning him against a wall, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, just as Vanitas closed the door behind him.
"You smell good.", says Noé as he looms over Vanitas, still with a sleepy look in his eyes and his soft hair, untidy from sleep and bathed in the sunlight, as if it only belongs to him.
A smile spilled onto Vanitas' face.
"I hate to break it to you but I'm aware the only time you point this out is when you're trying to seduce me into letting you chew around on my throat."
He taps his fingers against Noé's shoulders, pondering if that man was really awake or still stuck in his dreams.
Noé moved closer to Vanitas, taking in most space left between him, the wall, and Vanitas' sanity.
"Why would I ...," he got silent then fixed his gaze on Vanitas' neck and continued, "... would you let me?" he fought a smile as his lips curled, clearly giving away his intention to tease Vanitas.
If he was aware of the effect his amethyst eyes had the way they looked about to fall asleep again, half hidden away under his long lashes, staring right deep into Vanitas' own eyes, sinking into them. Those fucking eyes.
It's strange. All the time, he'd see Noé as naive, maybe even clueless and childlike with too much optimism for his own good, sweet and too kind. But then, alone all on their own together, Vanitas seemed to always lure out something new in Noé. And this was the problem, the comfort that comes from them being together, that Vanitas knows he cares about him, that he was perilously close to feeling like Noé should stay with him. It made him anxious.
He's a terrible liar, acting like he isn't that close to Noé, like he wouldn't think of him all the time, like he never learned how it feels to sleep being held by him. It made him question everything about himself, wondering, if he had changed in these last months and if he changed, who was he before?
Warm hands slid along his spine and he let Noé pull him closer to his chest, with a wrenching feeling in his gut as he felt it bubble inside him, excited, to feel more of Noé's hands on his skin, making him feel quite a bit more pathetic, sort of even defeated. He didn't like to be touched. Usually.
The reason is simple; his body.
Next to feeling as far from human as he can, nothing of this is his. He feels nothing like what he used to be. Besides a resentment-mutilated heart and Nicotine-stained lungs, his body felt altered by scars covering his skin, and "hormones therapy" (although the last one was definitely nothing he regretted).
He's someone new, someone different and he's long tried to forget about it. But with Noé it's different, Noé's touches send shivers like sparkling fireworks over his skin, make him familiar with his own soft body, his ribs to his hips, the length of his fingers, and the way his blood flows through his veins, to his cheeks, heating them like the summer sun.
All the uneasiness in his skin escapes as soon as Noé's skin meets his.
"Can I?"
Noé's soft voice snaps Vanitas back to reality, reminding him that he was still pinned against the wall, staring, as Noé was gently holding him by the curve of his waist, running his hand along Vanitas' spine up to his shoulder blades, ready to exchange all sorts of affectionate pleasantries with him and Vanitas knew he yearned for just that. More of this closure. Close enough to smell his morning coffee breath.
"All yours," he mumbles indulgently, with rosy too-warm cheeks and an awkwardly excited heart jumping up and down in his chest.
With strong hands, Noé tugged at Vanitas' shirt and Vanitas pulls him to him by his collar with a snort, feeling Noé's heat flow into him, as their soft plush lips touched, blooming like roses.
The room falls away as Vanitas gets lost to the sound of Noé's heart which keeps missing beats and fingers running up his chest, gently, making Vanitas' skin tickle as he feels Noé's warm shaking breath on his neck.
He nudges Vanitas' ear and licks the spot right under it, teeth softly grazing his skin and an unexplainable hot flash bolted through Vanitas' body—
"Noé!" he yelps, snapping a glare right at Noé, hands balled into fists with burning shame and numb fingers. Behind pale, untidy loose bangs, his eyes are red. It was weird on Noé, nothing like his amethyst eyes, that for unexplainable reasons feel equally cold and warm and incredibly calming. He is so, so unfairly pretty and Vanitas even more unfair that it invokes so much of feelings he can't explain in him.
"Vanitas, are you alright? If it's because of the biting, remember, I won't -"
Vanitas had bit down on his lips, feeling the iron-tasting blood flow in his mouth. "It's alright. We can stop here now."
Noé gaped like a lost fawn. "I'm sorry," his voice was shaky and he had to start a few times over again.
Vanitas didn't remember when Noé's mood affected him this much, to be irrationally upset because Noé seemed just a little hurt. The thought of it gave him acid reflux.
He wouldn't mind letting Noé keep touching him. He wanted it so bad, quite madly he desired his soft hands, his touch. Deep inside he'd even just crawl into his ribcage to feel safe and warm.
But he wasn't made for all of this. He was lonely but it was this kid in him, something that wouldn't let him enjoy anything without intoxicating it with bad memories. It was his punishment.
"Vanitas ?"
"I'll go and get breakfast" Noé mumbled, tugging at his sleeves before he turns away.
"Don't. Stay here." is all that Vanitas manages to bring over his lips, which is already helplessly pathetic. Noé opens his mouth, then closes it before he sits down on the floor, and with a cold feeling in his chest, making his lungs heavy, Vanitas slowly slides down next to him, his back glued against the wall.
Quietly, Noé kept him company, with his eyes closed, his lashes throwing shadows on his cheeks. Noé wasn't a person to let off so easily, but he could tell by the time they spent together when Vanitas needed him to do as he would like him to. If Vanitas quietly asked for anything, that's what Noé would give him, and it's so cruel that he's so gentle. Cruel. And Vanitas felt ashamed to be this vulnerable.
"You're fun to kiss." Vanitas' voice cracked through the silence.
Noé made something like a little cough and shakes his loose hair out of his eyes.
".. Sometimes I don't get you," Noé said, with a too dramatic sigh for Vanitas' taste (He kind of feels like smacking him all the time for this melancholic Noé type of sigh).
"But I did like kissing you, Vani." He tried to swallow and choked a little, but his voice was gentle and kind.
"I'm sorry I startled you".
"Noé. Noé, don't assume shit about me, I'm fine. You were pleased, getting to hold me right ?"
Noé buries his face in his hands, snickering with a tinge of embarrassment. Of course, he knew Vanitas would tease him over opening up just a little. Therapy sessions wouldn't do anything for him.
Vanitas blinks at him. "I can't believe you're laughing at me. I had my moment of weakness alright, you scared me, fine. Fuck it. At least I tried to look hot and put my perfume on".
His lips spread in a mischievous smile as he leans into Noé's shoulder and lets the man's warmth and smell wrap around him like a comfortable blanket.
"Well if you're that sure you're feeling better already ..." Noé rummages in his pockets and pulls a tiny letter wrapped in a ribbon out, reaches out, and presses it into Vanitas' hands.
"It's an invitation! To a delicious fancy restaurant!" he sounded nervous but looked at Vanitas with a wide smile warming up the room and eyes beaming like a child's. Vanitas hates this childish attitude. It's cute. It's complicated.
"If I gave you any sweets I doubt you'd accept it. I know you go to this restaurant with Dante... and this time you can go with me!"
Vanitas wrinkled his nose and stares at him like a dumb rat. "You mean a date? What the hell for?"
"Well," Noé makes a weird choked noise while running his hands over his thighs and holding his knees, pulling them closer to his chest. "it's Valentine."
Vanitas stares at him. Stares hard. "Noé, Dear. Did I not explain to you last year that valentine's is a day you gift people you love?"
Noé's face falls a little. "You should see it as some kind of appreciation thing. Or being polite." he looked for words but his brain was almost empty. "And— maybe it's a foolish thing to you, but I believe that you deserve an exception."
Oh my fucking god. Wasn't getting an early morning make-out session enough of 'normal and not complex almost lovers' room service?
Vanitas still stares at him with his slightly angry-looking but actually concentrated eyebrows and Noé starts to look like he's going to pout.
"I can't believe you're inviting me to a dinner date on valentine's day."
"I like food." Noé mumbles, making Vanitas explode in loud laughter, head tipping back.
"I know. That's why you try your best to get to nibble on me all the time."
"What if I ask very politely?"
Noé searches for Vanitas' hand, clammy, bandaged, and with nails bitten to the quick. He knits their fingers together and pulls Vanitas' wrist to his lips. His breath is warm and he smells like sweat and sweet things, as he kisses the spot of Vanitas' fluttering pulse, slow and shy.
"Good," Vanitas says eventually. "This evening we go to your fancy delicious restaurant. And you pay for everything." Including their shitty wine.
A grin spreads across Noé's face. "It's a promise, yeah?"
He squeezes Vanitas' wrist tighter and pulls him to him as Vanitas squeals with surprise. "Noé— "
Noé kisses the spot on Vanitas' neck he licked before, then blows raspberries in it. Noé, with his smug smile, says, "See, you didn't flinch this time."
Vanitas sighs, "Oh, boo..," and drops his face on Noé's chest. "You're unbelievable."
Noé's smile is enormous, bright like the sun and Vanitas hates it.
"You like my kisses!", Noé says, beaming.
"They're good kisses.", Vanitas says, sourly.
So much for his principles. His rules he set up for himself, his zone free of any sort of connections or feelings.
No matter what, Noé would show Vanitas how it felt, when inexplicable starbursts explode in his chest, flow through his body, fill him up inside.
Making him less alone than he thought himself to be.
Maybe in the end, they were just two hopeless boys, with confused hearts and a strange sort of bittersweet yearning that would only awake between the both of them.
Noé stares at him. His lips still curled in his warmest, sunniest smile, dimples forming in his cheeks. "So, do you want to get breakfast now?"