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Minho thought labels were stupid. She said as much when anyone asked about her sexuality, too. But when pressed, she had a way to explain her sexuality in the best way she could come up with. I'm a lesbian for all intents and purposes, but I'm not inherently against relationships with men. There's just probably three men I'd ever waste my time on, and at least one is a famous actor. She'd shrug at that point, and inevitably, whomever she was talking to would want to know who the other two were. Statistical probablities, she'd easily quip, and that was that. Except that was only half true. The third man was a statistical probability. The second was Han Jisung, her best friend. And that was a hell of a lot more complicated than her tenuous bisexuality.
It wasn’t like she was attracted to him. Well, she was, but not in the way that she found herself attracted to women. She didn't look at him and think about his features that she liked or how hot he was, even though he was attractive. It was him. His essence. His spirit. She couldn't explain it, and never planned to. It was his very being that she was drawn to, and her feelings for him felt inevitable, some days. Others they just felt like a runaway train car that wouldn't stop until it crashed into an oncoming train. She really hoped that Jisung wasn't that train.
---
"Guess who has a date tonight!" Jisung crowed, slamming through the front door of their shared apartment and dragging Minho's eyes away from her phone screen where she had been doom scrolling through Instagram's explore page.
Despite having been living together for the past year after Jisung had graduated college and being friends for the past seven, Minho still couldn't help the uncomfortable jolt in her stomach at the announcement.
"Well, the most logical answer would be me," she replied after a second of recovery, hiding her distress with her typical sharp teasing. "But I'd think l'd remember having a date tonight..."
Jisung was pouting where he stood in the entryway, toeing his shoes off, but Minho knew his hurt was as put upon as her indifference.
"So my final answer is Changbin," she finished, citing their mutual friend, with a smirk. Even through her bitterness, she was unable to stop the satisfied snicker when Jisung rolled his eyes dramatically at her.
"No," he needlessly corrected her, skidding into the living area in his socks. "It's me."
Minho took a breath and blew it out, pretending to consider that. "No, that doesn't sound real."
She wished it wasn't.
Ignoring her teasing entirely now, Jisung hopped over the arm of the couch to sit next to her, beaming.
"Remember me telling you about Felix?" he asked eagerly, nearly vibrating with excitement.
"She just started at the company on the floor above us, but she takes lunch at the same time I do, so if it's nice outside, we talk on the benches out front. She's seriously so pretty, but she's also so nice...."
"Vaguely," Minho sighed, relieved her penchant for feigning indifference was well known to her friends, especially Jisung, so her lack of enthusiasm wasn't ringing any alarm bells.
It wasn't fair of her, she knew, to begrudge her best friend of finding someone to make him happy. Just because she was suffering from unrequited feelings that refused to go away no matter how hard she tried didn't mean he didn't deserve love from someone else. And support from her. She was his best friend. She should be thrilled for him that he had a date with the girl he'd been crushing on for weeks now. It was just hard. It didn't matter how many years had passed since she realized she was irrevocably in love with him after she had solidly friend-zoned herself by being basically, almost gay. It didn't matter how many relationships either of them had been in throughout the course of their friendship. It still fucking hurt.
"You should be so proud!" he went on, almost as if he could read her thoughts if not for the lack of an accusatory tone. "We were eating lunch, and she mentioned a movie she wanted to see, so I just went for it and asked her to come with me to see it tonight. And she said yes!"
Minho wanted to be happy for him, she really, really did.
"Is it a date date?" she asked lightly, pressing the display button on her phone as if she needed to check the time. 5:36.
"I didn't forget to clarify this time!" Jisung defended on a laugh, shoving her playfully on the shoulder like she'd been mocking him and not secretly hoping. "I said as a date, and she looked kind of surprised for a second, but then she smiled- she has the nicest smile- and said yes!"
5:37.
Minho forced her lips into a smile, hoping it went up to her eyes.
"Well, congrats, I guess!" she said with a laugh that felt hollow. Fortunately, Jisung was still grinning to himself, and didn't seem to realize.
"Thanks!" he replied, genuine smile directed at her before it faded into a more thoughtful look, eyebrows drawn together.
For a second, Minho panicked that she'd been found out. That suddenly, after seven years, Jisung had figured her out.
"You haven't been on a date in forever," he pointed out. And while that hurt in its own way, Minho let out the breath she'd been holding, relieved.
"Thank you so much for reminding me," she enthused sarcastically, shooting Jisung a very intentionally fake smile.
"No, sorry," he apologized, waving his hand before running it through his dark hair on a self-deprecating chuckle. "I just meant...why not? Like, you always get a million matches when you use those apps."
"Yeah, and then the dates are a fucking disaster," she pointed out, unable to hide the sulk in her voice.
"Sometimes they're not-" Jisung started, but Minho cut him off.
"Which one wasn’t?" she rhetorically challenged. "The one where the self-professed lesbian spent our whole date flirting with the male waiter to try to get free dessert for herself? Or the one where the girl unironically threatened to move out of the country if I didn't go on a second date with her? Or maybe that time that other girl invited me on a second date and then immediately ghosted me?"
Jisung had been looking more and more chastised the longer Minho spoke, so she stopped herself, feeling guilty. It wasn't his fault that she had had such awful dates recently. He'd even treated her to pizza and beer after that last one when Minho had accidentally let a tear slip out upon telling him what had happened. Not that she was so heartbroken over the girl in particular. They'd only had one date. She was just feeling hopeless about ever finding someone, and Jisung had been so nice- spending the whole evening with her, watching movies and doing everything he could to distract her from the second date she wasn't on. And that made it all so much worse- just a reminder of something else she couldn't have.
"Sorry," he said meekly, and Minho felt awful for snapping at him, especially when he'd come in in such a good mood. "You deserve way better than all of that."
Minho quickly waved away his apology, schooling her face into a neutral expression.
"Apps are a shitshow," she said with a flip of her hand. "That's why I haven't been on any recently, that's all. It's fine."
Jisung nodded, but was still looking at her with concern.
With the way Minho’s heart was already feeling weighed down, she didn't think she could handle his sympathy for her lack of a love life right then.
"Not all of us are lucky enough to randomly meet beautiful girls at work," she joked, trying to keep her teasing smile in place before it slipped back into self-pity.
Fortunately, that had Jisung laughing- cheeks flushed with the tease and the reminder of his date.
"You'll meet someone soon," Jisung told her earnestly, beaming at her encouragingly. "I can feel it."
"Sure, sure," she waved him off, shooing him away to get ready.
As soon as his bedroom door clicked shut behind him, Minho collapsed back against the couch with a long sigh. She pressed the display button on her phone again.
5:48.
Minho almost unlocked her phone to re-download one of the dating apps she'd used in the past, but despite successfully dampening her best friend's euphoric mood, she didn't hate herself that much.
---
Minho had met Jisung in her senior year of high school when they were seated next to each other in their shared psychology elective. They hadn't met previously since Jisung was a year behind her in school, so they were taking different levels of their core classes. The elective Minho had chosen on a whim to fill up her class schedule and the happenstance of their assigned seats nearly made their meeting feel like it was meant to be, if Minho believed in things like that.
In her last year of high school, Minho already had her friend group, and she knew she would be leaving for college the following year, so she wasn't looking for or expecting to make any new friends beyond some casual acquaintances.
And yet...
They'd had to pair up to research and present a concept to the class early on in the semester, and since Minho hadn't really known anyone else in the class and neither had Jisung, they'd looked at each other as their classmates eagerly paired off and kind of shrugged like guess we'll be partners then. Minho could not have known that her teacher lazily forcing the students to teach each other so he could sit behind his desk and check his email would change her life entirely.
It had taken five minutes before they were laughing at some dumb joke and ten minutes before Jisung had stolen her notebook to draw a pretty terrible (and funny) portrait of their teacher. By the end of class, they'd exchanged numbers, and by the end of the week, they were friends who texted each other stupid memes they found online. Well, Jisung mostly sent the memes. Minho usually sent cat videos.
Minho did not open up to people quickly. It usually took time for her to warm up to somebody new and vice versa.
Han Jisung, it turned out, was not people.
It was a little ridiculous, actually, how much better Minho got along with Jisung than she did with the friends she'd spent all of high school hanging out with.
At that time, she'd selectively mentioned being interested in girls (almost exclusively) to just a few people. Her existing friends had been fine with it, albeit weirdly conscious of it in a way that made Minho wonder if her being "different" made them feel good about themselves for being friends with and accepting her.
When she'd somewhat off-handedly mentioned her inappropriate and impossible crush on her literature teacher to Jisung, he'd taken a beat to absorb it and then promptly teased her for having the hots for a teacher. He'd never made her feel other for her attraction to women, and that, in turn, made her feel safer with him than anyone else. Not that she said so out loud. Sincerity had never been her strong suit.
By the time she graduated, she wasn't spending much time with her other friends anymore. There hadn't been a falling out or anything. They were still friendly. She just...would rather hang around in Jisung's basement watching absolutely awful horror movies and talking until she had to nearly run out the door to be home by curfew.
All of that was fine. Great, even. All through school, Minho had had friends, but never a best friend. Not like Jisung. So it was a good thing, even when she moved several hours away for college in the fall. Sure, it sucked that she only got to see Jisung on the occasional weekend when she came home to her parents' house, but having him just a text away was more helpful than she'd ever admit as she adjusted to living away from home for the first time.
And that was how things went for the first semester. Minho went to her classes, made new friends, traversed a very delicate relationship with her roommate who got mad at the strangest things, and had weekly video calls with Jisung that kept her going no matter how many papers she was meant to be working on at any given time.
Winter vacation was a welcome break from schoolwork, communal bathrooms, and having to close her dresser drawers silently so her roommate didn't leave passive aggressive notes on their shared whiteboard. Plus, she and Jisung fell back into their routine of hanging out nearly every day that she was home. (The highlight was probably building a massive pillow fort in his basement on new year's eve, and then getting so engrossed in conversation that they completely missed the new year countdown.)
Having to go back to school was bittersweet. Minho liked school, but she liked Jisung more.
Still at that point, she hadn't realized. She'd gone back to school, started her new classes, and expected everything to be the same as it had been first semester. And on paper it was. Her professors still assigned way too many essays, and her roommate continued to fixate on the tiniest things Minho did that pissed her off. Business as usual.
Except there was a gnawing in her chest that she couldn't shake.
At first, she'd chalked it up to belated homesickness. Maybe she'd been so busy getting used to college that she hadn't had time to miss home until she was more settled in her new routine. But that didn't quite ring true. Because as much as she'd rather have her own bedroom than have to live with someone who wanted to keep the window open in the dead of winter, she loved the independence she had living in the dorms versus her parents' house.
She wasn't missing home, not really. And by then, she'd gotten closer to her new friends- having inside jokes and shared experiences from first semester to fall back on.
But despite all of that, Minho couldn't fill the yawning chasm in her chest. The only time she didn't feel it was during her weekly video call with Jisung. But when they had to hang up to work on their respective schoolwork or go to bed, her chest ached.
She found herself savoring every text he sent, even if it was just an observation about one of his teachers or a complaint about a difficult test.
Her heart jumped when her phone buzzed on her desk next to her as she did her history reading. And then she'd feel stupid when it was just some spam email.
Even then, she wanted to believe it was just missing a friend. Sure, she had college friends, but they weren't her best friend. It wasn't the same.
It wasn't until Jisung mentioned a girl in his class who apparently had a crush on him according to a friend of a friend that the realization settled in Minho’s gut along with a shockingly intense jolt of jealousy that made her hands shake.
She was in love with Jisung.
In the end, it turned out the rumor about the classmate wasn't even true, and Jisung hadn't liked her anyway. But Minho couldn't un-know the truth of how she really felt about her best friend.
Aside from some innocent and misguided crush on a boy in her kindergarten class, Minho had never had romantic feelings for a guy before. Sure, she knew she wasn't completely closed to the idea of dating a boy, but aside from a celebrity or two, she'd never been able to actually imagine wanting it.
And maybe it wouldn't have been so earth shattering if it had been anyone else. If she'd met some guy in one of her college classes and realized she was attracted to him, that would have been fine. But what was she supposed to do with feelings for her best friend? Her best friend who assumed she'd never want to be with him because she was primarily interested in girls? Her best friend who she'd accidentally friend-zoned over the past year and a half?
Nothing, she reasoned. She wasn't supposed to do anything about it. Because there was no way Jisung felt the same about his nearly-a-lesbian bestie. And even if, by some miracle, he was open to thinking of Minho as anything other than a friend, there was way too much at stake. Jisung was everything to her. If things went wrong, Minho wasn't sure she even knew how to survive without him.
So she locked her feelings away, way in the back of her mind, and forced herself to behave as normal. If she pretended that she only had platonic feelings for Jisung, then eventually it would be true. Eventually, she would stop feeling anything other than friendship for him. She just had to grit her teeth through the clench in her chest when he smiled at her over their shitty Skype connection for now, and things would right themselves, eventually.
It was good, Minho thought, that back then, she hadn't known that five and a half years later, she would still be stupidly in love with her best friend,(potentially even more stupidly) living with him, and watching him get home from a first date with a smile on his face that looked like it should hurt from how wide it was.
She was still gritting her teeth, listening to him gush about how nice the walk back from the theater had been, how easy Felix was to talk to, and how they'd held hands for at least half the trek to the subway where they had to part ways at the end of the night.
Minho was used to the ache in her chest now. It had been a companion to her for nearly as long as Jisung had. But that didn't make it hurt any less.
And tonight, with Jisung grinning down at his phone as he texted Felix back, it fucking hurt.
---
Unsurprisingly, but still to Minho’s chagrin, there was a second date midweek- dinner that time, and apparently more hand holding, as well as an implied kiss that she definitely did not ask for clarification on. She did her best to be her own brand of supportive while simultaneously wanting to just pretend that none of this was happening.
Unfortunately, that was going to be very hard to do.
"She's coming here?" Minho asked, hoping that she didn't look as horrified as she felt.
"Yeah, I invited her to hang out on Saturday," Jisung replied with a pout in his voice that seemed to suggest that Minho’s feelings were very clear on her face. "I want you to meet her. And she wants to meet you! I talk about you all the time!"
Sighing, Minho tried to pretend that the last bit hadn't softened her.
"So she wants to meet your scary, gay roommate?" she quipped, wondering if it was too late to make conflicting plans to get out of it. "She sounds weird."
"I didn't tell her you were scary," Jisung protested on a laugh, sliding into the seat across from Minho at their kitchen table. "And she is a little weird, actually. You'll like her."
Minho doubted that, but it had nothing to do with Felix's personally.
"And," Jisung jumped back in before Minho could say anything in response, eyes widening like he was about to drop the best bombshell of all time, "She's bi! She mentioned it at lunch today, all cautious like I was going to think it was a bad thing? As if my best friend isn't queer."
"Well, still, some people are shitty and wouldn't date someone bi," Minho pointed out, setting aside her own feelings for a moment to commiserate. "Even gay people, sometimes. Which, god, don't me started."
"True," Jisung allowed, brows pinching. "I kinda brushed it off like no big deal. I hope she knows I'm fine with it?"
"Well, if she's coming here Saturday..." Minho ventured, but was incapable of staying nonchalant when Jisung still looked worried. "I'm sure you were fine. Your lack of reaction when I mentioned liking girls to you in high school was actually really comforting. She probably feels the same."
"Really?" Jisung asked, looking at her hopefully and making Minho’s heart stutter in her chest.
She rolled her eyes.
"Yes, I've told you that before, anyway."
Jisung's grin at her was blinding, and Minho kicked him under the table for lack of a better reaction.
"So, you'll meet her on Saturday?" he tried, knowing she wasn't going to say no.
Damn it.
"Yeah yeah," Minho agreed, hoping beyond all hope that she wouldn't regret it.
---
Minho regretted it the second Felix walked into their apartment.
"Felix, this is Minho," Jisung announced, gesturing between them with an expectant smile on his face, "and Minho, this is Felix."
That was Felix. That, the prettiest girl Minho had ever laid eyes on, was Felix.
Of fucking course it was.
"It's so nice to finally meet you!" Felix enthused, full lips stretching across pretty, white teeth and eyes scrunching up with the genuine smile. She had a light smattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose and high on her cheeks, and her dyed blonde hair was pulled back in a cute ponytail that swung when she tilted her head. "Jisung has been talking about you since the first day I started my new job," she added with a giggle, and Jisung flushed slightly in Minho’s periphery.
"Nice to meet you too," Minho replied, because that was how she was meant to. "He's, ah, talked about you quite a bit as well."
As much as Minho vindictively wanted to ice Felix out as a way to cope with her own broken heart, she'd never do that to Jisung. And even if she was a worse person, Minho had decided, in the last two minutes, that it was probably physically impossible to be anything but kind to Felix. She was nice in a way that seemed undeniably authentic, and only a true psychopath could bear to be indifferent in the face of Felix's smile.
Minho knew why Jisung wouldn't shut up about it, and she fucking loathed that she couldn't even blame him.
They ended up all seated in their little living room- Jisung and Felix on the couch and Minho in the arm chair near the window.
"Not to be weird, but it is so nice to meet another queer woman!" Felix gushed before pausing, lips turning down. "Is queer okay with you? Sorry, I know some people don't like it-"
"Queer's fine," Minho interrupted, hating that she was relieved to see the crease of worry on Felix’s forehead disappear as she aimed a sunny grin in Minho’s direction in response to her interjection.
"But yeah, my friends are mostly tragically straight, so it's just nice to be in good company," she went on happily, attention on Minho as she spoke. "Jisung said you were mostly out since high school? That's admirable. High school is a disaster at the best of times, so I can't imagine dealing with that as well."
"Yeah, it wasn't too bad, but I get what you mean," Minho allowed with a shrug, feeling almost a little flustered with Felix watching her so intently for her reply. "When did you come out, then?"
Because that was how conversation worked. Answering questions, asking them in return.
Minho didn’t consider herself to be overly social, but she was usually fine in social situations. Whether she actually enjoyed the interaction , however, was dependent on who she was with. But Felix acting like whatever she said was the most important thing she'd ever hear was making Minho feel like she couldn't remember how to behave like a normal person.
"College!" Felix easily answered, glancing at Jisung just briefly to include him in the conversation before looking back at Minho. "I had kind of considered I might be interested in girls, but I didn't do anything about it or think about it too much until my freshman roommate and I started hooking up."
"And they were roommates!" Jisung crowed, making Felix fall back into the couch cushions with a laugh that had her nose scrunching up.
Minho tried to ignore the irony, there.
"Well, yes," Felix allowed with a giggle, "but what that meme fails to consider is what happens when you have a falling out. Oh my god it was painfully awkward. When my parents came to help me pack up at the end of the year, they were like what happened? I thought you guys were close! And I had to make up some story about a fight about quiet hours or something. Didn't want to be like, surprise! We were fooling around the whole time! Why do you think my midterm grades were kind of shit?"
Minho snorted in amusement despite herself, feeling herself get swept away as Felix spoke so freely. Why did she have to be so likable?
The awful thought that she wished Jisung had found out Felix was bi earlier and and set the two of them up instead of dating her himself wouldn't leave Minho’s mind. She knew that was entirely unreasonable. She didn't have a claim on every queer girl in the world. Jisung was of no obligation to suss out the sexuality of every woman he met in case she might be interested in Minho. He'd met Felix, liked her, and asked her out. Of course he had. The fact that she was even having these thoughts made Minho feel like the most horrible person alive.
To make matters worse, Jisung kept looking at Minho as Felix spoke, his eyes shining with pride like see, Minho? Isn't she great? I knew you'd like her too. She's so much better than all the others. And Minho looked back, wondering if it was possible to telepath Yes, Jisung, she's great. Perfect. So perfect I'm going to fling myself off the balcony. Thank you so much for subjecting me to this torture. All the while, Felix continued to regale them with the way her parents found out she was bi, breaking out into giggles at the absurdity of the situation as her eyes glittered with mirth and Jisung put a hand on her thigh. Minho wanted to scream.
By the time the two of them left to go get coffee from the cafe down the street, Minho felt like she was left reeling. She wasn't even sure who she was jealous of anymore.
Was it worse that her best friend was dating her ideal woman? Or was it worse that the guy she was in love with was dating the prettiest girl Minho had ever seen?
Regardless, she was a shitty person for feeling sorry for herself instead of happy for Jisung that he'd found someone he really liked. And thinking about it all was giving Minho a headache.
Short of actually screaming into the void, she didn't think there was much she could do to alleviate her distress, so instead, she did what she always did when she was overwhelmed: she took a nap.
---
The dates continued, because of course they did. No one in their right mind would stop seeing Felix, and Minho knew firsthand that Jisung was not someone to let go of.
At least the dates hadn't been at their apartment since that fateful meeting. It made it a little easier for Minho to ignore. Though she was still privy to Jising coming home, giddy, and wanting to tell her about something funny Felix had said or what they'd eaten at a new restaurant they'd tried. And Minho wasn't going to deny him that, even if she selfishly wanted to. They were friends. It was natural he wanted to share it with her, not knowing how it hurt her.
It was after their sixth date, however, that the situation went from slightly distressing to downright torturous.
They'd gone to a late dinner after Felix had apparently needed to stay late at work one Friday. Jisung had texted her to warn her that he wouldn't be home when he had originally thought, so she shouldn't worry. That was fine. In fact, Minho had been nearly relieved that she'd have the excuse of going to bed to avoid hearing about how they'd shared a slice of cake for dessert or whatever.
She'd even headed to her bedroom a little earlier than usual just to be sure she wouldn't be caught if Jisung was home a bit earlier than he'd speculated. It was near eleven when Minho heard the apartment door open. Not too late, but definitely reasonable for her to already be asleep.
Scrolling through YouTube to find a video to watch, Minho froze- lifting her head off the pillow like that would help her hear better. Because while she was expecting to hear Jisung puttering around to get ready for bed, she wasn't expecting voices. Plural.
She knew what she was hearing before another giggle confirmed it. That wasn't Jisung's voice, though his followed shortly thereafter. It was Felix. They were both here after a date after eleven. Minho wasn't stupid, though she kind of wished she was.
What she could hear as she strained to listen was just soft speaking and occasional laughter. It wasn't like she was hearing anything she wasn't supposed to. Yet.
Shifting on her rumpled sheets, Minho blew out a breath. As much as continuing to eavesdrop was like pressing a bruise- painful but so, so tempting- she knew she would absolutely regret it once the sounds changed to something else.
Carefully, Minho climbed from her bed and tiptoed over to her desk, not wanting to make any noise to alert Jisung and Felix that she was actually awake. Not that they wanted to come in and talk to her right then. They were probably also hoping she was asleep.
Grabbing her noise canceling headphones, Minho crept back to bed and slid under the covers like they could protect her from whatever was going on outside. If hiding under blankets as a kid kept her safe from monsters, maybe blankets were also a shield for heartache. It was worth a try.
She quickly plugged the headphones into her phone and pressed play on the first album that popped up on Spotify, relaxing minutely as the angsty rock music filled her ears.
This was a nightmare. The music was successfully blocking out any other noise in the apartment, but the knowledge of what was happening (or about to happen) was worse than any sounds could have been.
It might have seemed dramatic. They'd been friends for years, after all, so it wasn't as though they hadn't dated before. But recently, since they'd moved in together, neither of them had seen anyone beyond a single date or two.
Minho’s app dating experiences had been complete disasters, and Jisung hadn't been faring much better. The last time he'd had a girlfriend had been during his junior year of college. It had lasted a month or two, and while Minho had definitely heard more about it in texts and on video calls that she would have preferred, at least she was two hours away at school at the time. She'd never had to meet her or be anywhere nearby when they were fooling around.
God. Why had she thought sharing an apartment was a good idea? Being fiscally responsible suddenly seemed inconsequential when Jisung and Felix were about to have sex in the next room.
At that moment, headphones over her ears and sheets thrown over her head for good measure, Minho would have paid double her rent to be anywhere but there.
---
The last relationship- the only relationship- Minho had had that meant anything to her had been during her sophomore year of college.
It had felt like a miracle at the time, coming off of a summer vacation that had only strengthened her feelings for Jisung with the way they had spent nearly every day together, as they did when they were home from college. Minho had felt hopeless going back to school, both missing Jisung more than she ever wanted to admit and believing she would never find anyone else who could make her feel the way he did.
Which was why meeting Chan in one of her seminars felt like such a revelation. Chan was an international student, studying abroad at Minho’s college for a semester. She had long, wavy brown hair, an intriguing accent, and dimples to accompany her warm smile. Everything about her was warm, actually. She was one of those rare people who could put everyone around her at ease, and Minho had been drawn to her from the first time they spoke outside of the lecture hall.
That weekend, they met up at an acquaintances' apartment off campus and Minho had found out Chan was bi through some very clunky conversation prompts. And with her interest basically broadcasted through her unsubtle fishing for information and flush that spread from her cheeks to her ears, Chan had kissed her and asked her out on a date.
Things moved quickly from there.
Two dates turned into making out in Chan's single room turned into hooking up between classes. By October, they were exclusive, and spending nearly every day together. Chan wanted to talk about how she would be going back home in December, but Minho changed the subject every time.
She just wanted to be happy. Just for a while. No asterisks, no buts, no footnotes.
I have the best friend in the world but...
I met a wonderful girl, and she likes me too but...
Why couldn't she have that? Why was it always something?
Sheer defiance and denial did not stop the semester from coming to a close- final exams, papers, and projects were all turned in and students startedto vacate campus for a much needed rest.
Finally, after months of avoiding the topic, Chan coerced Minho into a conversation. She was leaving. There was no way around it. What they had was good- great- but it wouldn't stand up to the distance. Especially with no end to the separation in sight.
Minho wanted to argue, but knew it was futile. Chan was right. It wasn't worth it to continue a relationship that spanned oceans. Who even knew when, if ever, they'd see each other again?
Minho had met someone who made her happy, but she was leaving no matter what.
The Friday night before Chan left, Minho had stayed over in her packed up and sterile dorm room, pretending she wasn't seconds away from bursting into tears. She mostly succeeded.
Before she got in a car to the airport the next morning, Chan had kissed her and rested their foreheads together for one long moment. And then she was gone.
After four months of falling more for Chan everyday, she was just gone.
Minho wasn't set to leave for break until after the weekend, and she planned to spend it curled up in bed, fitfully sleeping and trying to numb her heartache with hours of binged TV shows before she had to face her parents and pretend she wasn't hanging on by a thread.
That is what she ended up doing, but Jisung, already on winter vacation, drove up to stay with her as she stared mindlessy at her laptop screen and pretended she wasn't crying. (He was kind enough to act like he didn't notice, but Minho knew he did from the comforting weight of his hand on her back.)
With both of them crammed onto her twin dorm bed, Jisung having fallen asleep halfway through the second season of some awful reality show, Minho felt her heart clench- tears dripping down her cheeks again. She cried for what she had lost, and looking at Jisung, here just so she wouldn't be alone, she cried for what she would never have.
She was so thankful for him.
But...
---
Minho woke up to the smell of coffee and was momentarily confused. There was no way Jisung was up at- Minho checked her phone- 8:17 on a Saturday making coffee. But then the previous night flooded back, and things started to make more sense even as her stomach dropped at the memory.
She'd woken up at some point in the night and shoved her headphones off, now dangling halfway off the edge of her bed. But now it was morning, and it seemed Felix had spent the whole night. Which made sense. It wasn't some random hookup. They were dating. She wouldn't have wanted to creep out in the middle of the night to go back to her own place.
Somehow, in her desperate attempt to not think about what was happening mere feet from her room, Minho had failed to consider what would happen in the morning and that she would have to actually face both of them. Unless she just holed up in her room, but she had no idea when Felix would be leaving and staying hidden was more than conspicuous.
So with the promise of coffee the tipping point, Minho climbed from bed and got changed into a pair of sweats and a less rumpled t-shirt than what she had slept in. Stopping in the bathroom to quickly wash her face and brush her teeth, she finally steeled herself to face Felix in the kitchen.
"Oh, hi Minho! Good morning!"
Felix stood by the table, coffee cup in hand and bright smile on her face- like she was genuinely happy to see Minho first thing in the morning when Minho was decidedly not the reason she was there at their apartment. Her shoulder length hair was a little disheveled, her face was bare, and there was a mark on her cheek from the pillow. It was cute, and Minho wished it wasn't.
The next thing she noticed was that Felix was in one of Jisung's oversized t-shirts, looking absolutely gigantic on her, and a pair of his basketball shorts, drawstring probably pulled tight to keep them on her slender hips. The sight had Minho feeling like her insides had turned upside down.
"Morning," she managed, shooting her a small smile despite her swirling stomach and sleep fogged mind.
"I hope I didn't wake you!" she fretted, fingers wrapping around the mug she'd pulled down from the shelf. It was Minho’s- white with a row of illustrated cats printed around the curve of it.
Her mug in Felix's pretty hands had Minho pushing down the fluttering feeling in her chest.
"No, I was lured by the smell of coffee," she told her truthfully, and Felix beamed.
"Help yourself! I made a lot because I didn't know who was going to drink it."
The fact that Felix had thought of her, even in passing before she emerged from her bedroom, had Minho’s lips wanting to twitch up in a smile as she went to get herself a cup.
They sat at the table together as they had their coffee, chatting about work and friends and a TV show they'd both seen. When Minho felt her stomach growl, she offered to make pancakes for the two of them (and Jisung, whenever he deigned to grace them with his presence), and Felix had enthusiastically agreed. She had been going to have cereal, but that didn't seem like a worthwhile thing to offer a guest.
She's not your guest, Minho reminded herself even as she pulled out the ingredients.
It was when she was flipping the final pancake on the pan, Felix already halfway through her plate and full of praise even though it was just a box mix, that Jisung finally woke up and joined them.
His face when he saw the two of them together in the kitchen, talking as Minho made breakfast, was one of surprise, quickly followed by a sort of gleeful wonderment. It had Minho’s chest feeling like it was filling with helium.
"Any later and you weren't going to get any pancakes," she said to avoid dwelling on the feeling.
"You wouldn't be so cruel," he insisted, hand over his heart even as he made his way to where Felix was seated at the table.
Minho stared unblinking at the bubbling edges of the cooking pancake as the two shared a smile, Jisung's hand going to Felix's shoulder as she beamed up at him with her cheeks full of the pancakes Minho made.
The three of them ate together, conversation coming easily when Minho was able to keep from thinking about the why of Felix being in their kitchen on a Saturday morning. And because it was a Saturday and she didn't have anywhere to be, Felix agreed to stay for a while.
After the breakfast dishes had been cleared, Jisung and Felix ended up on the couch with the plan to watch something. The invitation for Minho to join them wasn't altogether surprising since she lived there too and had made them breakfast. And maybe she should have turned them down, but she was having a nice time. She liked Felix- liked spending time with her. And Jisung's pleading eyes as he implored her to watch with them were not something she was in the habit of denying.
"Oh! You haven't watched Lee Dongwook's new drama yet, right?" Jisung asked Minho with a waggle of his brows, scrolling through their shared Netflix account.
Minho shook her head, sighing at his tease.
"What?" Felix looked between the two of them.
"He's Minho’s exception," Jisung told her with a laugh and more eyebrow wiggles.
Minho rolled her eyes.
"Oh," Felix replied, nodding. "I see the appeal for sure."
"Should we watch?" Jisung wanted to know, almost bouncing as he hovered over the selection on the TV.
"Are you gonna give me shit the whole time?" Minho challenged, and Jisung immediately shook his head, holding his hands up in innocence. "Fine."
She actually did want to watch, exception or no.
Minho always preferred to watch shows with Jisung rather than alone, despite his inability to just shut up and watch for any amount of time. It was just nice to have someone to discuss the plot with and complain about annoying characters to. Watching with the addition of Felix was just as fun- the three of them offering commentary and joking as the show played.
"I find him more attractive when he's insane," Felix observed a couple of episodes in. "Should I be worried?"
Minho snorted out a laugh.
"Should I be worried?" Jisung countered, eyes exaggeratedly wide.
"If you're asking if you're insane, the answer is yes," Minho quipped, and Felix cackled as Jisung feigned offense.
"You know..." Jisung offered a minute later after the laughter had died down and they'd gone back to watching, "he does look more attractive with blood spatter all over his face."
"Right?!" Felix exclaimed, clearly pleased she wasn't alone in her feelings.
"Okay, I'm leaving a note that if I end up dead, one of you two murdered me," Minho teased, snickering at the explosion of denial from the couch.
The bitter jealousy she felt was too easy to ignore as she laughed, agreeing with Jisung that Felix probably wasn't capable of murder so he was definitely to blame in her untimely demise.
It was a dangerous game she was playing, letting herself focus on the sweet crinkle of Felix's eyes as she laughed and feeling the grin Jisung shot her right in her chest. She was going to lose- there was no other outcome.
But the other option was to stop playing, and that was even worse.
---
Felix in a lace crop top, mini skirt, and chunky, strappy heels was too much. Minho had just walked into the bar, waved over by Felix to the tall table she and Jisung were seated at with drinks in front of them, and already she needed some air.
The bar was near Felix's apartment, and she and Jisung had been before. That Friday, they'd invited Minho to meet them after she finished work and had a chance to go home and change. And because she was hopeless, she had agreed.
By that point, the two had been dating for two months- officially and exclusively since that first time Felix had stayed over, as Jisung had excitedly told her as soon as Felix had gone home that day.
Their other friends had met Felix too. Because she wasn't just someone Jisung was seeing. She was his girlfriend, and she wasn't going anywhere.
After Changbin had met her, he'd said to Jisung, "She's great, man. If I was straight, I'd be jealous."
Minho had laughed through her pain.
Because despite her better judgment, she had developed a full fledged crush on Felix that only grew with every smile that was directed her way. And if she thought that might have had her feelings for Jisung lessen in intensity, she would have been wrong. She still ached for his attention and affection toward her to be more than just that of a friend.
When they were together in their apartment, giving each other shit and existing as they always had, Minho could almost forget he had a girlfriend. Not that that would have made his feet digging into her thigh as they watched TV or their late night conversations mean more than they did. And now, when they sat up past their usual bedtimes, drinking beer and sprawled together on the couch, Felix was a constant subject of conversation. Minho knew, in no uncertain terms, how much he liked her. He practically glowed when she was brought up. She couldn't even fault him, even though it pained her to hear.
Minho couldn't stop herself- couldn't extricate herself from the situation that had her falling and getting hurt again and again. Maybe a stronger person could have put some distance, made some boundaries. But Minho didn't want to, and it scared her- unsure of how much farther she could fall without hitting the ground.
"You look great!" Felix enthused as Minho approached their table, appreciatively taking in the grey silk shirt and fitted black jeans she had changed into. Minho didn’t want to return the sentiment in case just how good she thought Felix looked showed on her face. "Did you find it here okay?"
"Yep, no problem," Minho replied with a smile and a glance at Jisung who also looked good in a v-neck sweater with some type of metallic thread woven in. But at least she had years of practice seeing him dressed up, dressed down, and everything in between. She could acknowledge it and function. But the strip of skin between Felix's skirt and top was feeling like an obstacle she couldn't overcome. "I'll be right back. I'm going to go grab a drink."
Standing at the bar and waiting, Minho looked back at the two of them- their backs to her so they didn't know she was watching. She saw Jisung's hand curve around Felix's tiny waist and the way Felix relaxed into the touch before turning her head to say something directly into his ear. Jisung's smile was immediate and Felix returned it, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek that had him flushing- obvious even from where Minho was standing.
Something burned in Minho’s stomach before she turned away to order.
"I am not a boring straight person!" Jisung argued later that night and several cocktails in. All of them were a bit tipsy, but Felix was probably the most intoxicated- giggling at nearly everything with a pink flush to her cheeks. It kind of made Minho want to coo.
"Yes you are," Minho insisted with a roll of her eyes. "Just because everyone you know is gay doesn't make you exempt."
"If I'm a boring straight person, you're a boring gay person. I never said I was opposed to dating a guy. I just haven't met one I would date. Maybe Lee Dongwook with blood on him, who knows?"
Felix collapsed into his side with laughter, smacking against his chest with her hand.
"First of all, impossible- gay people can't be boring," Minho countered, lips quirking at Felix's immediate nod of agreement. "And second, don't just steal my exception because you can't think of one. You're boring and straight."
"I made out with my best friend in eighth grade!" he insisted, nearly yelling and having Felix cackling as the people at the next table briefly turned to see what was going on.
"And you won't shut up about it," Minho teased with a scoff. "Honestly just reach out to him on Facebook if you're so hung up on it."
For a second, Minho froze, wondering if implying Jisung had feelings for someone else would upset Felix, but she was still laughing along, bugging him to show her what he looked like and cooing when he got flustered.
"Just...acknowledge I'm not boring and straight," he huffed after several minutes of Felix poking at him and asking for details about the incident.
"Never," Minho declared with narrowed eyes, grinning wickedly into her drink at Jisung's wail.
"Aw, poor thing," Felix teased, patting Jisung's bicep. "You aren't boring. After all, you did say you might let me-"
Jisung's desperately flustered sound cut off whatever Felix was going to say. He looked over at Minho with wide eyes and red cheeks, and Minho looked back at Felix, who was cracking up. She raised her eyebrows.
"Oh relax," Felix giggled devilishly, directing the statement at Jisung who still looked mortified, and she was definitely a little drunk with the way she swayed into him- eyes glassy. "I'm sure Minho has one too."
Minho has one what?
"Oh my god," Jisung whined, downing the rest his drink in one gulp. "Stop."
His admonishing was still a little playful even though he looked like he was about to burst from embarrassment, so he wasn't actually mad at Felix for almost revealing...something.
Minho kept trying to figure out what Felix had been talking about even as the conversation shifted to Felix bemoaning, again, that she had too many straight friends.
It wasn't until she was on her way home in a taxi, Jisung and Felix having taken off on foot for Felix's place, that it hit her.
Minho probably has a strap-on too.
After all, you did say you might let me peg you.
Minho almost choked on absolutely nothing in the back of the cab.
Fuck.
That had to be what she was alluding to, right? It made sense with the context since that was something dumb straight guys were opposed to, thinking it made them gay. And Minho, being a lesbian, probably had a strap-on (she did).
The speed with which heat shot through her to settle between her legs was shameful.
Under no circumstances should she be getting turned on by the thought of her best friend and his girlfriend having sex. Even though she had feelings for both of them, and sure, she was attracted to both of them. And, okay, the thought of them together intrigued her as much as it made her jealous.
But she had been very, very careful not to dwell on that because it was so far past the line of what was okay. She had already crossed it without meaning to just with her feelings, but she was not trying to make it any worse than it needed to be.
Nonetheless, now that the idea of Felix fucking Jisung had been implanted in her mind (through no fault of her own), she couldn't stop the arousal that spread through her like a fire consuming everything in its path.
By the time she was let off in front of her building, Minho couldn't deny the heat simmering under her skin- an itch she was dying to scratch but didn't dare.
The elevator ride up to her floor had her trying to breathe deeply, and the walk down the hall just had the seam of her jeans pressing against her arousal. With trembling fingers, Minho let herself into the apartment, wondering if a cold shower would douse the forbidden thoughts that kept tickling her mind.
Ripping her too tight jeans off her legs the second she walked through her bedroom door, Minho kind of hoped the lack of pressure would alleviate some of the arousal, but all it did was make her shiver as the cool air kissed her thighs. The silky shirt was next to go, tossed into the hamper, and finally her bra, draped over the back of her desk chair. She would put it away later.
For now... the thought of masturbating right now, with images of Jisung and Felix playing on a loop in her brain, felt like the worst thing she could do. It was so inappropriate, so gross. How would they feel, knowing she was getting off on their private sex life? She didn't even want to think about it.
But she wasn't getting any less turned on the longer she stood motionless in her bedroom. Maybe if she just got off as fast as possible and got it out of her system, she could move on and pretend she didn't know that they were talking about pegging.
Nearly stomping with anger at herself for giving in, Minho made her way to her dresser and opened the drawer where she kept her toys (including her strap-on, which she pointedly did not look at). She grabbed the shittiest vibrator she owned- a little buzzy thing she'd gotten for free with the purchase of an actually good toy once. She kept it around in case her preferred vibrator ran out of juice before she could come and she needed just a little nudge to get to the edge. But it honestly wasn't even worth keeping for that. It didn't even feel good, but it got the job done, which was what she wanted right then.
Settling against her pillows on her bed, Minho tried to keep her mind blank as she spread her legs and pressed the vibe against herself through her underwear, switching it on to the lowest setting.
She couldn't help the noise she let out at the contact, hips pressing toward the toy on their own volition. The buzz was far from pleasant, but the stimulation against her clit was what her body needed right then.
Moving it against the damp patch on her panties, Minho thought about anything she could think of that wasn't what had gotten her in this state- any celebrity she found attractive, her last hookup, tv and movie scenes she thought were hot. But straps wrapped around Felix's pelvis kept creeping back in along with the sway of her hips as she fucked forward.
Minho, even through all her years of being hopelessly in love with him, had never gotten off to thoughts of Jisung. It felt too wrong. It felt like she would be breaking his trust, somehow, to think of him like that. Whatever images flashed behind her eyes when she was about to reach her peak were not something she could control, but she'd never let herself think of him to get to that point.
Now, though, Minho gritted her teeth as her hips rolled up into the vibrations as she pictured the way Felix's fingers would press into the smooth skin of his hips. She thought of his hands gripping the sheets as his body was rocked by Felix's movements.
Way too deep into that train of thought, Minho peeled her underwear off, wincing when it came away wet from her body, and pressed the buzzing toy against her clit.
She groaned, helpless as her orgasm got closer and closer to the surface.
Would he beg? Desperate to come and needing Felix’s hand also? And Felix, sweet and bright Felix, would give him what he wanted- stroking him as he gasped and moaned, all the while chasing her own end with the way the dildo's base moved against her clit with every thrust.
"Fuck," Minho whimpered, partly drowned out by the loud vibrations between her legs.
She was grateful she had the apartment to herself tonight, though had she not, she might have really opted for the cold shower over this.
God, they were probably fucking right now in Felix's bed. Not how she was picturing, but still. Still...
With a choked cry, Minho arched off the bed and came- skin thrumming and sharp jolts of pleasure wracking her body as she held the vibe against herself until she couldn't stand it anymore. It hadn't even felt good beyond the notion of release, but that's what she had wanted anyway.
As soon as it got to be too much, she hastily turned off the toy and threw it toward the foot of her bed- hearing it hit the floor when it rolled off.
What the fuck was wrong with her? She'd really just made herself come while thinking about her best friend and his girlfriend.
She was so fucking disgusting.
With a frustrated huff, Minho pushed herself off the bed and made her way to the bathroom to shower off her shame and guilt.
It didn't work, of course, no matter how hot she made the spray- her skin turning pink before she turned it all the way in the opposite direction and forced herself to withstand the cold for a few long moments before she turned off the water and toweled off.
Curled up under her blankets with damp hair wetting her pillow, Minho let her self loathing sink into her until it felt like a physical weight on her skin.
It was hours until she slept.
---
How to look your best friend and roommate in the eye after masturbating to the thought of them and their girlfriend? Minho had been anxious and massively ashamed the next day when Jisung had come back to their apartment in the afternoon. She knew it was illogical, but she felt like he'd see it written all over her face and look at her with horror and disgust.
He didn't obviously- just happily telling her about the dog he'd seen in the elevator on his way out of Felix's building.
The shame had stayed, heavy and potent, throughout the day, but Minho forced herself to push all of it to the back of her mind where she wouldn't have to deal with it. It was bad enough she had done what she'd done. She didn't want to also start acting weird around Jisung and make him wonder what was wrong with her.
So the Incident got shoved in along with the her most embarrassing moment in middle school (getting the giggles in the middle of a presentation to the class and being unable to even finish speaking while the class and teacher just stared at her in confusion) and the feelings she wasn't supposed to have for Jisung and Felix (those weren't staying where she put them, but she was doing her best).
Life went on. Another month passed. Felix stayed over at their apartment a couple times a week and Minho had gotten very good at falling asleep with headphones on. The three of them hung out often, both in and out of the apartment. Minho’s feelings grew, along with her guilt and her ability to ignore the shame that tickled the back of her neck when she let her eyes linger where Jisung put his hand on Felix’s thigh or Felix rested her head against his shoulder.
Felix liked doing things more than Minho and Jisung, or at least she was more willing to put effort into making outings happen.
Which was how the three of them ended up lined up outside some new, swanky nightclub that had just opened up. Minho wasn't a huge fan of clubs, but at least she liked to dance. Jisung...well, Jisung liked Felix, so there they were- standing in the slightly too cold night air and waiting for the line to move.
In her spandex mini dress with a mock turtle neck and the zipper in the front just low enough that just a hint of cleavage was visible, Minho was feeling sexy. More than just looking good (she couldn't deny that she did), there was something about the tight spandex hugging her hips and thighs that turned her on. Maybe she had been conditioned from that one time an ex of hers had shoved a similar skirt up her thighs and eaten her out in a bathroom. Or maybe that had happened because she'd already been worked up from wearing the skirt to begin with. Regardless, that meant she was hot from the beginning of the night.
It didn't help that Felix looked absolutely sinful in a tight skirt of her own and a little silk camisole that plunged just enough at the neck that Minho kept staring at the way the gold chain of her necklace dipped between her breasts.
Jisung was in some flattering dark jeans and a belted and buttoned blazer that ended at his hips with nothing underneath. He looked good, and despite the fact that she was usually not overly affected by just his physical appearance since her attraction to him was based on who he was as a person, she couldn't stop looking at the smooth skin of his sternum where it was revealed in the v of his jacket.
Even worse, seeing Felix pressed against him all the time was torture on so many levels. Being attracted to Felix and then seeing her with Jisung was also making her more attracted to him, like seeing her kiss Jisung unlocked the part of Minho's brain that had been keeping her attraction to him in the theoretical, spiritual realm and yanking it into reality.
In short, Minho could feel the flush of arousal on her cheeks as she waited outside the club with Felix's hands moving from Jisung's shoulders to Minho's bare arms to Jisung's waist and back again. Minho's thighs rubbed together with the snug material clinging to them, and she very pointedly ignored the fact that she was getting wet. From absolutely nothing besides her own clothing and...
Felix's laugh rang out as Jising's arm wrapped around her ribs, his lips pressed to her cheekbone.
Minho swallowed and wished she'd had another drink at their apartment before they'd left.
Jisung had, which was why he was offering up PDA so freely. Holding hands was one thing, but acting like he was going to bite Felix's neck while she clung to his shoulders was something else. And Minho was not prepared for it.
Why had she agreed to this again?
Felix turned her grin toward Minho, hands grabbing onto Minho’s wrists as she enthused about the list of specialty cocktails they offered that she'd read about online. Jisung kept poking at Felix's waist and making her yelp and complain through giggles, and it made Minho’s chest ache, but it hurt so good.
She was doomed.
By the time they were getting near the front of the line, they'd all decided the bathroom would be their first stop- Felix especially, who kept threatening to go pee in a bush despite Minho and Jisung continually pointing out that there were no bushes around.
"Unless you're confusing the parked cars for bushes?" Minho ventured and Felix half heartedly smacked her arm.
"Oh my god don't pee on someone's car!" Jisung exclaimed, cackling when Felix moved to smack him as well.
"What the fuck, Felix. I can't believe you are going to pee on someone's car. That's so unnecessary," Minho teased, deadpan.
"Don't make me laugh!" Felix wailed, wrapping her arms around Minho’s neck and buring her face in her shoulder.
Minho couldn't feel the cold anymore. She didn't have to pee. All she could feel was Felix holding onto her, complaining against her collarbone and huffing out warm breaths against her skin.
She was going to disintegrate into a vapor.
Fortunately for Minho’s delicate sanity and Felix's bladder, they were let in just a minute or two later- beelining toward the bathrooms and agreeing to meet back outside when they were done.
Minho let herself be bodily pulled along by Felix into the women's room, enjoying the feel of Felix's fingers around her wrist until she let go to go into a stall.
They both emerged and washed their hands next to each other at the sinks, commenting on the fancy waterfall-like faucet and the purple lighting that carried on from the main part of the club to the bathrooms until a sound had them both pausing.
Meeting eyes in the mirror, they were still until they heard it again- a moan coming from the stall on the end.
Minho watched Felix's eyes widening in the mirror, aware hers were doing the same, before they both broke into silent laughter. Hastily rinsing their hands and grabbing at paper towels to dry them off, another moan rang out. Felix looked toward the ceiling as her lips stretched into an amused grin, shoulders shaking from trying to keep quiet, and watching her try and fail to quell her amusement just made Minho laugh even more.
When they finally made it back into the club, they were inconsolable- falling all over each other and laughing hard enough that Minho felt tears in her eyes.
"What? What happened?" Jisung asked eagerly, already waiting for them.
"Sex," Felix wheezed and Jisung's eyes nearly bugged out of his head, sending both of them into fresh peals of laughter.
"We heard-" Minho gasped out, taking pity on Jisung's adorably confused face. "-in a stall."
"Moaning," Felix offered on a squeak.
Realization flooded Jisung's face, and he let out a chuckle- probably more at the two of them losing it than at people having sex in the bathroom of a club.
"All I heard in the men's room was someone puking," he offered, and Felix made a face, sobering slightly.
"Sucks to be you," Felix taunted, stepping nearly behind Minho to avoid the swipe in her direction.
Being literally between them...Minho wasn't sure how to feel. But she didn't have much time to decide because Felix was tugging at her arm.
"Let's go dance!" she cajoled. "We can get drinks after. I don't wanna get too drunk."
Jisung scrunched his nose at the request, eying the dance floor with trepidation. "How about I get a drink now and you guys can go dance?"
"We came to a club and you aren't gonna dance at all?" Felix complained, stepping forward to start tugging on Jisung's arm as well.
"Later," Jisung promised, laughing a little at Felix's, honestly impressive, pout. "I need at least one more drink before I'm ready for that level of humiliation."
He wasn't bad, actually. He didn't have technique, but he had rhythm. Minho knew he wouldn't embarrass himself (unless he started doing weird things for a laugh), but she also knew that dancing at a trendy nightclub wasn't in his comfort zone.
"I'll dance with you," she offered to Felix, seeing the thankful look Jisung shot her before realizing her own mistake.
When she'd agreed to come to the club with them, she'd pictured some sort of casual group dancing scenario. And if the happy couple wanted to dance more intimately, she would drown her sorrows at the bar. She hadn't taken into account dancing one on one with either of them. Dancing with Jisung would probably be fine- they'd been at events where dancing was encouraged before, and they'd just goofed off. But Felix, who had been hanging onto her all night and whose pretty shoulders and collarbones were on full, tantalizing display, was much more of a wild card.
And at Felix's immediate, happy grin as she waved goodbye to Jisung and dragged Minho onto the dance floor, Minho knew that this was, indeed, a mistake.
The song that was playing was upbeat- not too sexy, just fun. And that was a relief, because dancing with Felix like this- a foot apart, sharing smiles as they showed off their moves- was fun too. But then the music changed to something slower, more sensual, and Minho felt like her life flashed before her eyes because Felix was stepping closer with a little mischievous grin (it's just for fun, she seemed to be saying) and reaching out for her hips.
If she jerked away like Felix had burned her, that was weird. That was conspicuous. If she wasn't very into women, maybe it could be chalked up to homophobia (wishing her actions were interpreted as homophobic was a new low, and Minho internally winced), but since she was, the only reason to avoid Felix's touch was because she liked her. Too much. Way too much.
Lightly placing her hands on the warm skin of Felix's shoulders, Minho allowed herself to be tugged in and moved so that their hips were moving in tandem. Felix kept looking up at her through her lashes, and though she always had a little playful smile on her lips, it was making Minho’s blood feel like molten lava. Her arousal at the beginning of the evening that had dimmed a bit with their laughing fit was back full force, and Minho wondered if Felix would be able to tell.
What about Jisung? Obviously Felix was just playing- she wasn't interested in Minho, she just wanted to dance. But what would he think, watching from the side? Would it make him jealous? Even though she was sure he knew it wasn't serious on Felix’s end and, as far as he knew, hers as well.
Without being too obvious, Minho glanced around to see if she could see where he was. Maybe he wasn't even watching. Maybe he was at the bar or on his phone.
But he wasn't. Without much effort, Minho saw Jisung standing near the edge of the dance floor and obviously looking right at them. Catching Minho’s eye, Jisung grinned and gave her a thumbs up. Despite her body dissolving from Felix's grip on her hips, she couldn't help but snort at Jisung's reaction. His bi girlfriend was dancing with his queer best friend and he gave them a thumbs up. He was so weird.
She really fucking loved him.
Felix looked at her questioningly.
"Jisung gave us a thumbs up," Minho explained, though it wasn't as ridiculous without the context of her feelings for them both.
Nonetheless, Felix snickered.
"Weirdo," she said fondly, and the jealousy burned through her before she could blink. The similarities of their reactions only exacerbated their difference in role. Felix was to Jisung what Minho would never be, and that didn't get any easier no matter how much she liked Felix.
"Do you want to go get a drink now?" Minho asked, a loose tendril of Felix's hair brushing against Minho’s hand where she held her shoulders. She wanted to cup her palm around the nape of her neck and slide her fingers through her hair to see if it was as silky as it looked.
It was a relief when Felix nodded and stepped back, though she linked their hands together as she led Minho toward Jisung and the bar.
They ordered shots despite the specialty cocktails they were known for, but that was fine with Minho who was craving the numbness that alcohol would bring.
"Oh my god we have to get blowjobs!" Felix insisted after they had all downed the tequila shots she had ordered first. "Have you guys had a blowjob before? They're so good."
"Well..." Jisung started with a smirk, bold with the drinks he'd already had. "I don't want to brag but-"
"Gross you can't have one now," Felix interrupted, making a face like he'd horribly offended her, but she was back to giggling at his pout a moment later.
Minho was just relieved he'd been stopped before he'd finished his sentence. She was not drunk enough for this.
"Two blowjob shots and one Windex please!" Felix called to the bartender when her attention finally fell to them.
"You're really gonna make me drink Windex?" Jisung blanched, and Felix cackled.
"It isn't real Windex," she defended, sporting a shit-eating grin that still somehow looked angelic on her when the bartender dropped off their shots.
"It even smells like Windex," he complained before taking a sip and reacting like he'd let poison touch his tongue.
"Such a baby," Minho griped, taking the Windex shot from him and giving him her half drunk blowjob. She meant the tease, but also felt kind of sorry for him. He really wasn't good at drinking alcohol if it didn't taste like something else entirely.
"Minho gave you a blowjob!" Felix exclaimed collapsing against the bar in peals of laughter and definitely drunk.
Minho had no idea what Jisung's reaction to that was because she was too busy throwing her vivid blue shot back and barely even noticing the taste as embarrassment settled heavy in her gut. She knew she was blushing and her ears were bright pink.
"No more alcohol for Felix," Minho muttered even as she flagged down the bartender to order herself a rum and coke.
"You good?" Jisung asked, watching her in concern when she took the drink and immediately drank a third of it with a long pull from the straw.
"I didn't drink as much before we left," Minho said, waving off Jisung's worry and Felix's anxious eyes. "I'm more sober than both of you."
"Well, that's true," he allowed, and Minho made a face around her straw that had him laughing.
"Let's go dance!" Felix urged, reaching out to grab onto both of their wrists.
"You guys go ahead," Minho suggested even as Felix pouted at her. "I'm gonna just hang here for a bit."
"Okay okay," Felix sighed, squeezing Minho’s shoulder before dragging Jisung away.
Minho just needed a minute to ground herself. Being with the two of them was always a lot, but also too easy in a way that scared her. And Felix was in rare form tonight- tipsy, playful, and touchy.
She was starting to really feel the two shots and drink she was currently sipping- limbs getting fuzzy and head light. It was only due to her intoxication, she told herself, that she let her eyes find Jisung and Felix on the dance floor.
Felix's back was pressed to Jisung's front, his hands holding onto her hips as she tipped her head back over her should and laughed at something. He was probably making jokes to dispel the discomfort of having to dance in a trendy club, though as Minho figured, he was doing fine. All he had to do was follow the sway of Felix's hips, and Minho knew firsthand how easy that was to do.
Her guts twisted up watching them, too many emotions swirling through her and battling for her attention for her to be able to fixate on any one of them. All she knew was that watching as Felix turned in Jisung's arms, still pressed against him, to lean in and kiss him slowly had Minho feeling like she wanted to burst out of her own skin.
Glancing down the bar, Minho almost laughed, though what came out was more like a sigh of relief. There was a gorgeous woman, long legs, long black hair styled half up with artful pieces falling into her face, and full mouth pressed to the edge of her martini glass as she finished the liquid inside.
She was exactly the kind of distraction Minho needed.
Of course she knew the woman could be straight. Or taken. Or simply not interested. But with enough alcohol coursing through her veins to make her bold, Minho stood and made her way over anyway.
"Can I buy you another drink?" she asked, leaning in close enough for the woman to hear her.
She looked surprised, lips parting as she looked at Minho from her warm, brown hair to the chunky black boots she wore on her feet.
The woman nodded, and Minho flagged down the bartender, gesturing to indicate that she wanted to order a refill of what the woman had been having.
"I'm Hyunjin," the woman said, eyes curving with her smile as she held out a hand, nails painted glossy purple and decorated with little sparkles.
"Minho," she replied, shaking the proffered hand and noting how soft her skin was, though her traitorous mind chimed in that Felix's was softer.
"I thought you were here with that girl?" Hyunjin confessed, head swiveling to presumably look for her.
Minho didn’t want to look again, but she saw the exact moment Hyunjin spotted Felix. Her brow creased, and she looked almost pitying when her eyes met Minho’s.
"My best friend's girlfriend," she admitted, because trying to think of another explanation for the situation was too much for her inebriated brain.
"Ouch," Hyunjin replied, expression definitely sympathetic now.
"You don't know the half of it," Minho muttered and Hyunjin nodded with a wince.
"Well, I can be a distraction," she offered, lips curling up in a smile.
The bartender brought Hyunjin's cosmo, and Minho was pulled out of feeling sorry for herself to snort.
"Of course you drink cosmos," she snickered, pointing to her empty rum and coke when she caught the bartender's eye again.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hyunjin sputtered, and Minho laughed.
They chatted as they polished off their cocktails- nothing deep but easy and a little flirty. By the time Minho was sucking up mostly melted ice and air with her straw, she was properly drunk and wanted nothing more than to dance.
She closed out her tab, and then dragged Hyunjin onto the dance floor. Without wasting a moment, she pressed against Hyunjin's front- looping her arms around her neck and swaying her hips in time with Hyunjin's. It was a bonus that the other girl seemed to be a very adept dancer, though they weren't doing anything complex, just using the synthy music piping through the speakers as an excuse to be close.
Her intoxication made it so she had no idea how many songs they danced together- could have been two, could have been twenty- before she felt a tap on her shoulder.
She turned. It was Felix with Jisung standing just a foot or so back.
"Hey," Felix said, smiling and leaning in like she was trying to gauge how drunk Minho was. "We were going to head home. Do you want to come? We're going back to your place."
Hyunjin, knowing at least some of the situation, draped herself against her back- a warm and comforting weight as Minho battled with wanting to step further into Felix's space even though she wouldn't get what she wanted from her closeness.
Minho watched Felix glance up at Hyunjin, chin on her shoulder and probably playing it up to make Felix jealous. That wasn't what was going to happen- she was happily with Jisung and only liked Minho as a friend- but Minho appreciated the attempt anyway.
"I'm gonna stay," she finally answered, shaking her head and trying to ground herself with the way Hyunjin's fingertips were digging into her hip bones.
"Are you sure?" Felix pressed, much more sober than the last time Minho had seen her. "Are you okay? Will you be okay getting home?"
"I can get home, don't you worry," Minho told her, tapping a finger against Felix's nose and suddenly finding the situation immeasurably funny. She'd only met Felix a few months ago and only because she was dating Jisung. But now she was worried about Minho getting back to her own apartment alright when she was half the reason Minho had gotten so drunk to begin with. "I'm an adult," she added with a wink that might not have looked as smooth as she'd hoped.
"Okay..." Felix allowed, eyes going between Minho’s face and Hyunjin's. "If you need anything, call either of us, okay?"
"Yes, mom," Minho agreed, snickering again as Felix sighed and glanced back at Jisung.
"Call okay?" he emphasized, gaze intense on hers as he stepped forward and squeezed her forearm.
Minho felt like the thin skin on the inside of her wrist was sparking where he touched.
"Okay," she agreed petulantly, heart jumping at the little smile he sent her before telling her to stay safe. Felix, who was still looking at her with way too much concern, echoed the sentiment, and then they were shuffling through the dance floor to leave.
Minho forced herself to turn in Hyunjin's embrace instead of watching Felix's blonde hair disappearing in the crowd, but then Hyunjin was looking at her with worry as well.
"What?" she complained, knowing she was pouting, but unable to help it. She was drunk and heartbroken and she just wanted to dance with a hot girl. Why couldn't anyone understand that?
"You okay?" Hyunjin asked, leaning close to her ear to be heard over the music.
"Yes, everyone, I am fine," Minho snapped, and then felt guilty at the wounded look that crossed Hyunjin's face. "Sorry. Can we just dance?"
Hyunjin nodded, stepping back into Minho’s space and pressing their bodies together. Minho sighed in contentment, happy to let the music take her away.
Again, she wasn't sure how long they danced. All the drinks she had continued to catch up to her and everything started getting hazy- just pulsing lights, throbbing base, and Hyunjin's hands on her hips, breath hot on her neck.
She must have blacked out for a second because when she came to, they were kissing- open mouthed, messy, and desperate- and one of Hyunjin's hands had snuck under her skirt to rub against the front of her underwear.
It took a moment for her addled mind to catch up with the situation, and another for her to decide she was way too drunk to carry on with it, despite how tempting it was to just give in and really let Hyunjin distract her.
"Wait," she got out, pulling back from the kiss with a wet smack. "'M too drunk for this, sorry."
Hyunjin's hand immediately pulled back from where it was between her thighs, cheeks looking a little pink in the low light.
"Yeah, me too," she admitted with a giggle. "Wanna get some fresh air?"
Minho nodded, the movement jostling her brain and making her head spin wildly. It was easy to let Hyunjin guide her off the dance floor and through the club, though Minho was having a hard time focusing on her surroundings. It was a good thing Hyunjin had a firm hold on her hand or she feared she'd have ended up on the floor or holding onto the wall for dear life.
The slight chill of the air outside as they stepped through the exit was a relief, though the world was still tilting and shifting. It was late enough that there wasn't a line to get inside anymore, so there was just a smattering of people around- smoking, taking a break from the crowd, or waiting for a ride home.
Unstable, Minho took several step to the left- hand dragging over the brick of the building before she gave up and crouched down in a squat facing the wall. She couldn't look around lest she tip over completely, but she felt Hyunjin kneel down next to her and place a warm hand on her shoulder.
How much had she had to drink? She had stopped keeping track, just wanting to numb the ache in her chest in whatever way she could.
With the way the ground was swimming beneath her, Minho thought she might throw up.
But instead, without any warning, she burst into tears.
Minho was vaguely aware of Hyunjin making comforting sounds beside her as she rubbed her back, but it was like she wasn't even in control of her own body as she choked out wet sobs that wracked her shoulders, tears pouring down her cheeks and almost certainly ruining her makeup.
She hated crying- hated it. Even alone, she despised how vulnerable it made her feel, so she really did her best not to cry in front of anyone else, even those closest to her (though she had definitely failed a few times with Jisung). And yet here she was, with a woman she had met maybe two hours earlier, surrounded by random strangers, and sobbing her heart out on the street.
It was awful, but she couldn't stop. It was like she had hit some switch and now all of the pain and hurt and heartache that she had let build up over years was pouring out all at once.
It felt terrible, but there was a small part of her that was relieved, especially as she finally was able to catch her breath and slow her hiccuping sobs enough to feel slightly in control of her body.
Minho’s nose was stuffed, her eyes ached, she was still a bit dizzy, but she relaxed just a fraction more than she had been able to before.
"Shh, there you go," Hyunjin soothed, fingers rubbing circles on her shoulders. "Get it out, it's okay."
Pulling in a trembling breath, Minho slumped forward- the top of her head resting against the bricks and her bare knees pressed against gravel. It should have hurt, but between her cathartic release of tears and her continued intoxication, she barely noticed.
"Feel a little better?" Hyunjin asked softly, and Minho hummed out what was probably an affirmative response.
It occurred to her that Hyunjin didn't have to be her babysitter for this breakdown, but she had stayed. She knew she needed to thank her, but sentences were still feeling a bit daunting.
"We need to get some water in you," Hyunjin told her, hand stroking the back of Minho's head. "Do you think you can walk? There's a convenience store about two blocks away."
Minho heard footsteps behind them, and a man's voice asking if they were okay.
"Fuck off," she snapped even as Hyunjin politely told him that they were fine, thanks. She snorted in amusement at Minho’s severity, though she didn't comment.
"Ready?" she asked, and Minho nodded, allowing herself to be pulled up into a standing position as Hyunjin made little sympathetic sounds in the back of her throat as she smoothed Minho’s hair.
"How awful is my makeup?" Minho managed to croak, and Hyunjin smiled.
"Fixable," she said, reaching into her little purse and pulling out a tissue which she used to dab and wipe at Minho’s eyes as she stayed still and tried not to blink too much.
It probably wasn't great, but she trusted that Hyunjin had made her look at least somewhat presentable when she pulled away with a satisfied, "done!"
The walk to the convenience store was mostly quiet, though Hyunjin offered commentary about things they passed every once in a while as well as kept hold of Minho's hand. Given she could barely stand just a little while ago, Minho had to admit it was for the best.
Once a bottle of water each was acquired, the two went to stand on the sidewalk to drink. Minho hadn't realized how thirsty she had been until she'd emptied half the bottle in one go.
"Thank you," she said, averting her eyes and nervously touching her ear, "for keeping me company while I had a complete breakdown and for making sure I didn't die in a heap outside the club."
Hyunjin snickered, but Minho still kept her gaze away, watching a white pigeon with a missing toe amble by.
"It was no problem," she assured her. "We've all been there."
"Still..."
"And sorry I didn't realize how drunk you were before. I would have cut you off or made you go back with your friends."
Minho waved her off, finally chancing a peek at Hyunjin out of the corner of her eye.
"Even I didn't know how drunk I was," she joked, and saw Hyunjin's lips quirk. "It all kind of came on at once."
They stood quietly again, sipping their waters and watching the occasional car pass.
"Do you want to get something to eat before going home?" Hyunjin asked, breaking the silence. "There's a McDonald's, like, right there. We can talk about...anything you want. And honestly, I'm kind of hungry."
Minho knew what she was offering to talk about, and she considered turning her down. But food sounded good. And Hyunjin's company was nice. It wouldn't hurt.
---
Minho blinked at the ceiling of her bedroom, aware it was late- later than she typically slept- by the slant of sun.
As she reached for her cell phone, she took stock of herself. No headache. Maybe slight nausea. Definitely thirsty. Could have been a lot worse considering how drunk she had gotten the night before. The water and McDonald's, as well as sobering up significantly before sleeping, had helped save her from a terrible hangover.
Even beyond the greasy fries and pile of chicken nuggets, Minho was glad she had taken Hyunjin up on her offer. Initially, she hadn't been planning on opening up about why she had suddenly burst into tears outside the club, but somewhere between her first fry and halfway through her chocolate shake, she'd decided fuck it and spilled the whole thing.
She'd told Hyunjin about Jisung and how long she'd been harboring feelings for him. And then how Felix had come into the picture and made everything more complicated with the way she made Minho's jealousy spike while simultaneously making Minho fall for her as well (unintentionally on both counts, of course). It was scary to be open about everything she had been bottling up, but there was something so refreshing about telling someone so far removed from the situation. Minho barely knew Hyunjin, and Hyunjin didn't know anyone else involved. She was just an ear to listen that Minho hadn't had before.
Like crying until she couldn't anymore, hunched over on the hard ground, telling Hyunjin everything was embarrassing, but left her feeling just a bit lighter.
Just hearing someone say I'm sorry, that really sucks was comforting, somehow.
They'd parted ways having exchanged numbers "in case you need to vent or cry in front of any other establishments."
Minho had rolled her eyes, making like she was going to bite Hyunjin's fingers when she handed back her phone, but she appreciated it.
And now, the next morning, Minho felt wrung out, taking her time actually moving from her bed as she woke up fully.
At the soft knock at her door, her heart immediately jumped into her throat- nerves on high alert as she called out a still-sleepy yes?
"Oh thank god you're alive!" Jisung exclaimed through the closed door, far too loud if she'd been suffering from a brutal hangover. "We were going to break down the door if you weren't out here soon!"
"We weren't," Felix corrected, apparently also right there. "But we were getting worried. Sorry to bother you though. Take your time."
The two of them checking in on her had her feeling warm, even with the underlying and ever-present ache she'd gotten used to.
"It's fine," she replied, sitting up in bed and stretching her arms over her head. "Was getting up anyway."
It seemed they walked away from the door, so Minho eased herself up and got dressed in some comfortable sweats to spend the day doing absolutely nothing and recovering from her emotional hangover.
But then there was another light tap.
"Me again," Felix said, only just loud enough to be heard through the wood. "I brought you some water."
"Come in," Minho called back, feeling out of place standing in her own bedroom as Felix let herself in and smiled kindly.
"How're you feeling?" she asked, careful of her volume.
"Not that bad, actually," Minho told her, taking the water gratefully and chugging down a good amount before she even finished her thought. "Got some food last night and sobered up a lot before I went to bed."
"Good," Felix looked relieved, though her face changed back to one of worry a second later- chewing gently on her lower lip as she met Minho’s eyes. "I'm really sorry. We shouldn't have left you there last night. You were really drunk, and it was irresponsible of us."
"Honestly, I might've refused even if you'd insisted," Minho admitted with a chuckle that was meant to ease Felix's guilt. "Don't worry. I realized how drunk I was and got water and food." And had a breakdown, but who was counting?
"The girl you were with..."
"She turned out to be really nice," Minho assured her. "We got McDonald's together."
"Did you...?"
"No! Way too drunk," Minho laughed, unsure of why Felix looked so relieved. She supposed things could have gone much worse if Hyunjin had been some kind of creep, so she understood Felix's worry.
"That's good," Felix said before shaking her head at herself. "Not you being too drunk! Just..."
"I understand," Minho reassured her. There was something about Felix that morning... she was unusually nervous, a kind of uncertainty and trepidation buzzing beneath her warm smile.
"Alright, well, come out whenever, no rush," she said with a chuckle. "You know that. You live here."
And then she was shuffling out of the room, leaving Minho wondering what had her so unsure.
Maybe she had really worried them, getting so drunk and coming home so late. It wasn't her finest moment, that was for sure.
After taming her hair into a ponytail, Minho decided she ought to go eat something and have some coffee since it was already after one in the afternoon.
"Hey!" Jisung greeted her the second she stepped out into the living room, smiling like he hadn't seen her in twelve years instead of twelve hours. "Felix said you're not feeling too bad?"
"Knock on wood," Minho said wryly, tapping her knuckle against the coffee table and feeling a little self conscious with so much attention on her.
"So the girl...Felix said you guys didn't...?"
"The rumors are true," Minho confirmed with a snort, knowing she was blushing under the scrutiny now. "You guys need to get out more if my love life is this interesting to you."
"I'm glad she was nice though," Felix added as Minho continued to the kitchen to brew herself some coffee. "Are you going to see her again?"
"Maybe as a friend," Minho replied, busy trying to wrestle a new bag of coffee open.
"That's good," Felix said, sounding more enthusiastic than Minho was capable of being without coffee. "Friends are good."
A friend was good though. Minho probably needed more friends who didn't have her spiraling into bouts of heartbreak.
She had no idea what she was going to do about that. But with a triumphant cry, she managed to get the coffee open.
Minho would take a win where she could get one.
---
It was Saturday afternoon, a week after the trip to the club, and Minho was relaxing on the couch- streaming menu open but forgotten on the TV screen as she scrolled through her phone. She was alone in the apartment since Jisung had stayed at Felix's the night before. She figured he would be home soon, though, since he hadn't texted to tell her otherwise.
The click of the lock and the door opening had Minho expecting Jisung to step inside, and she was already opening her mouth to ask if he wanted to order in for dinner. But it was Felix who came in, which wasn't that strange except for the fact that Jisung wasn't with her. Instead, she turned to close and lock the door behind her, pocketing Jisung's keys as she shot Minho a slightly uneasy smile and made her way over to the couch.
"Jisung gave me the keys," she explained sheepishly. "He's back at my place."
That explained the how, but not the why.
"Did you forget something here?" Minho asked because that was all she could think of, even though, if that had been the case, Jisung wouldn't have sent her by herself to pick whatever it was up.
"No," Felix answered, stopping short of the coffee table. "I was hoping to talk to you, if you aren't busy?"
Scarier words than I need to talk to you did not exist, and while that wasn't exactly what Felix said, it was the gist. Minho felt anxiety swoop through her even as she nodded, watching Felix smile timidly again and take a seat next to her on the couch.
"None of this is bad, by the way," Felix assured her, hand reaching out to touch Minho’s forearm.
Evidently, Minho’s horror at the wording wasn't something that had gone unnoticed.
"Let's see, where do I start?" Felix said with a little, self deprecating laugh. "With me, I guess."
Minho had no idea what Felix wanted to talk with her about, and that was terrifying. Knotting her fingers together, she watched nearly unblinking as Felix seemed to gather herself and meet Minho’s anxious gaze with a determinedly open one.
"I like you, Minho," she began, seeming to imbue sincerity with ever blink of her lashes. "I like you as a friend. And as I've gotten to know over the last few months, I found myself liking you more and more."
"I like you as a friend also..." Minho ventured, unsure of where this was going and when she should be chiming in.
Felix smiled, warm and sweet, but seemed to push past Minho's interjection to continue with whatever she had planned to say.
"I'm not sure if you noticed, but I am attracted to you too. I mean, you're gorgeous. That can't be a huge surprise," Felix laughed, nerves tinging the edges.
Minho felt like she needed to play that back to make sure she'd heard her right. Because surely she hadn't?
"I guess, to put it simply, I have romantic feelings for you," Felix finished, looking truly nervous for this first time since Minho had met her.
Minho gaped, a hazy buzzing ringing in the back of her head making her feel dizzy. Felix had romantic feelings for her? But what about-?
"Jisung?" she found herself sputtering out. "What about Jisung?"
Because as much as Minho liked Felix and returned those feelings, she would never, ever betray Jisung like that.
Felix was shaking her head, holding out a hand like Minho was a cornered animal who might bolt at any moment.
"I still like Jisung. So much. My feelings for you don't change how I feel about him at all," she quickly explained, though Minho didn’t feel as though that explained anything.
"But then..."
"Let me..." Felix trailed off, looking flustered, before she fixed Minho with another determined stare. "Just hear me out to the end, okay?"
Minho nodded dumbly, still not processing anything. But if Felix was going to implore her to do something with her big, earnest eyes, she was hard pressed not to agree to whatever it was.
Felix took a deep breath, fiddling with the sleeves of her pink blouse, and Minho wondered what could be a bigger bombshell than Felix liking her.
"Minho, Jisung has feelings for you too."
The white noise in Minho’s head surged, making her almost dizzy as she tried to hear anything beyond the rushing in her ears.
No. That was impossible. Jisung... But he... And Felix...
Minho was fairly sure she was in some bizarre dream and their conversation was about to get derailed by the realization that she was late for high school and had a test in a class she'd never attended.
"I realized pretty early on," Felix was saying above the whooshing in Minho’s head, "that he liked you. I've been observing, I guess. I mean, as a third party, it's probably a little easier for me to see it."
What was she seeing that Minho wasn't? Of course Jisung cared for her and loved her as a friend. Maybe Felix was just misreading the signals and mistaking their friendship for something it wasn't. Maybe-
"I've noticed you too," she went on. "And I don't want to seem like I'm accusing you or telling you how you feel, but I think you like us too."
Panic. Abject panic.
It felt like her vision narrowed as her heart pounded in her ears. Everything she had been trying to hide, for years, was no longer hidden. Felix, a person she had met mere months before, had pulled back every layer she'd hidden herself behind and saw the truth as plainly as if Minho had told her herself.
Even with what Felix had led with, it was terrifying to have her secrets out there. She felt exposed and she hated it.
"I-" she started, wanting to deny it- all of it- but not even knowing how to start.
"You don't need to say anything now," Felix cut in, looking a bit panicked herself- maybe able to see the denial on the tip of Minho's tongue. "I know it's a lot to take in. I just wanted to tell you how we feel, so you can think about it."
We. She and Jisung. She and Jisung allegedly had feelings for Minho. Both of them, together.
No matter how she flipped it all around in her head- turned it over and looked at it- it just didn't make sense. She couldn't wrap her mind around it at all.
"Think about it and what?" Minho got out, despite the way her tongue almost felt numb.
Because what was she supposed to do with all of this? Aside from go in circles until she was dizzy?
"Ideally," Felix began, that intense look in her eyes again that had Minho feeling almost hypnotized, "we'd like to date you."
"Date me," Minho echoed, barely comprehending the words, as Felix nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes, like, both of us. Together," she clarified, though there was no clarification that would make Minho comprehend her words.
She barely stopped herself from mindlessly repeating together, as though the word from her own mouth would help her understand.
"Just think about it," Felix repeated. "I know it's overwhelming. We've had time to talk it through a bunch, but I just dumped it on you."
"We?" Minho asked, because the thing that was the hardest to accept was Jisung having feelings for her. How was that possible? How could that be without her having noticed in seven years?
"Officially, I am to tell you I've gone rogue and Jisung has no idea I'm here saying any of this to you in case it goes poorly, but unofficially, we've been talking about this for a while. He knows what I'm here to talk to you about," Felix said, lips quirking a little as she added, "That's off the record, of course."
If Jisung knew that Felix was here, asking Minho to... to be with them, then that meant that Felix had confirmed with him her theory that he had feelings for her. That meant he actually had feelings for her.
Holy shit.
The gravity of everything crashing into her must have been evident on her face because Felix reached out to grasp her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze as she gave her a hopeful smile.
"Take all the time you need, really," she told her. "And absolutely no pressure. I promise that if you decide you aren't interested in what we're proposing, there will be no hard feelings. It's just there as an option if it's something you want."
That was all comforting. Or at least it would be once Minho's brain got to absorbing that part of the conversation. She was still stuck at the Felix and Jisung having feelings for her part.
"I'll go so you can think, but is there anything I can clarify or reassure you of before I go?" Felix offered, sweet and considerate as always. The fluttering of Minho's heart was still apparent underneath the way her mind was spinning. "Or you can text me later or I can come back and we can talk some more. You can talk to Jisung if you want too! I just came by myself so it wouldn't be so overwhelming. We were worried if we both talked to you at once, you would feel cornered."
A beat, and then Felix rushed to speak again.
"Of course it had to be me since I've gone rogue," she added hastily. "It's very important I don't implicate Jisung in any of this by mentioning his involvement."
"You've done a good job of that," Minho couldn't help but tease, and Felix's surprised laughter made her glad she had.
"Yeah," Felix chuckled, obviously knowing that she, in no way, had kept Jisung out of it. Not that she could have. If she'd made it seem like all her idea, Minho would never have been convinced Jisung liked her at all. She still wasn't convinced, even though she knew Felix wouldn't lie about something like that.
The smile she flashed at Minho as she stood was easier than the one she'd given her coming in, like the relief of having said what she needed to say as well as the reassurance that Minho hadn't shut her down had lifted a weight from her.
"We're gonna stay at my place tonight again to give you time, but text any time, okay?"
Minho nodded, watching in haze as Felix made her way back to the door.
"And no pressure!" Felix repeated as she stepped out, grinning at Minho and giving a little wave. And then she was gone- lock clicking back into place.
Minho sat there, unmoving and staring at the closed door for several minutes, just trying to convince herself that that had actually happened- that she hadn't dozed off and had a very vivid dream.
It felt like her entire world had been upended. Felix had been there for maybe twenty minutes, but in that short time, Minho’s life had changed drastically. Everything she had been tucking away and trying to ignore had been tipped out, spilling in every direction.
Felix had feelings for her. Jisung had feelings for her. Together, they had talked about it. Together they had decided they wanted to be with her- to date her.
It was more than she could have possibly imagined. It was everything she wanted and more. And that in itself was scary. With something she wanted so much, there was a greater chance at heartbreak. What if she ruined what Jisung and Felix had? What if it destroyed her friendship with Jisung? She couldn't bear to lose her best friend. She couldn't.
But to know she could have so much more- to know she could give into the feelings that had been threatening to take hold of her since she was nineteen... The lure of that was too much.
Minho stayed seated on the couch for an hour and then two. Just thinking. Trying to weigh the pros and cons like a responsible person. urning over every possibility until there wasn't a nook or cranny that hadn't been explored.
There was too much at stake to be reckless.
She went back and forth, over and over- imagining the worst case scenarios and the best case scenarios.
It was meant to take time. Her decision wasn't supposed to be rushed. Felix had said they were staying overnight at her apartment to give Minho time.
But despite all of that, she kept landing in the same place- coming to the same conclusion.
She wanted to be with them. It was a risk. Everything could go wrong. But it could also go right. And there was no way she could turn that down.
Forcing herself to wait, to breathe and eat dinner and exist for just a bit longer before she did anything she couldn't undo, Minho finally picked up her phone at nine o'clock.
They had a group chat, the three of them, for when they were planning outings or Jisung and Felix were checking in to let Minho know of their plans.
Taking a deep breath, Minho typed out her message in the chat.
Maybe she should have told them she liked them too. Maybe she should have told them she was scared. But there would be time for that later.
For now, she kept it simple and to the point. It was all her racing mind could handle.
She pressed send.
Yes.
---
Minho no longer knew how to exist in her own apartment. She felt like an intruder sitting on her own couch even though she was alone. For now, at least.
After sending the message the night before, Minho had worried that she would be left waiting for a reply- second guessing herself and fretting that maybe Felix and Jisung would have changed their minds until she got a response. But they must have been waiting for her text like she was waiting for theirs because within thirty seconds of pressing send, her phone chimed.
Felix: We are so, so happy! ^_^
Felix: Can we come back over tomorrow after lunch to talk with all 3 of us?
Minho had replied in the affirmative, almost giggling with how unreal it still all seemed.
After Felix had confirmed the plans, one more text came through.
Jisung: :)
It was only a smile face, but it had Minho’s stomach swooping. The fact that she had only spoken to Felix so far made Jisung's involvement still seem like a fantasy. But this was their group chat and that was his phone that had just texted. He knew.
He knew Felix had told Minho about their feelings. He knew Felix had invited her into their relationship. And he knew Minho had agreed.
After so many years, he actually knew how she felt. Giddiness and terror battled in Minho’s chest until she had had to flip back on the couch and breathe as she stared at the ceiling with unseeing eyes.
This was happening.
And now, with Felix and Jisung's arrival at her apartment imminent, the reality of the situation was almost crushing. Though not in a bad way. It was just so overwhelming that Minho had to keep reminding herself to breathe.
Sitting wasn't cutting it- too much nervous energy pent up in her body to be still- so she was pacing back and forth between the kitchen table and the couch, over and over again.
The sound of the lock in the door had Minho freezing in place- standing behind the couch and watching as the doorknob turned like she was in some horror movie. Except it was decidedly not a monster that stepped through the door.
Felix's smile was positively giddy when she met Minho’s eyes.
I wasn't wrong. You want this as much as I do, was what Minho imagined her eyes to be saying. And it was true. She did. So much it scared her.
Behind her was Jisung, eyes wide with nerves- lips looking bitten like he been gnawing on them. But even with the anxiety radiating off him in waves, his eyes softened when he looked at Minho- lips pulling up in a little smile like he couldn't even help it.
She wondered if he could see her own worry reflecting back on him, and then realized that of course he could. Her lips quirked in response and she watched some of the tension bleed from his shoulders like an exhale.
"I'm gonna run to get coffee," Felix announced, snapping both their attention back to her. "Everyone want their usuals?"
"I thought we were all talking?" Jisung demanded, looking a little panicked.
"Well, you guys have years to catch up on, and I've already talked to both of you, at least a little bit " she said with a shrug, adjusting her purse on her shoulder. The grin hadn't left her face though, and it was clear she was pleased with herself.
Minho snorted.
"You planned this?" Jisung blanched, and Felix giggled.
"Maybe," she offered, keys still in hand as she stepped back toward the door. "See you guys in twenty?"
And then she was gone with a wave of her fingers and a click of the lock.
Jisung looked back at Minho, his anxiety from before back now that their buffer had gone.
He let out a helpless laugh that Minho mirrored, settling herself onto the couch in the spot she'd been attempting to get comfortable in before they arrived.
"Uh...can I sit?" he asked, and Minho looked at him in disbelief.
"You live here," she reminded him, torn between amused fondness and concern that it would always be this weird between them now.
"Right!" Jisung agreed exaggeratedly, putting it on a bit like he did as a shield in social situations he was uncomfortable in.
Minho wanted to reassure him, but she was just as unsure.
Jisung sat, and they looked at each other for a few beats that felt stretched and heavy like overworked dough.
"We should probably say something before Felix gets back or she's going to kick our asses," Minho finally said, relieved when Jisung laughed unabashedly at that- eyes creasing and lips pulling up to reveal his gums.
"She definitely will " he agreed with a snicker.
Another pause, and Minho hunted for the right words to say. She'd had over twelve hours to prepare for this, but she somehow hadn't planned what she should actually say.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jisung got out before Minho could settle on something.
"Why didn't you?" she fired back even though it hadn't been an accusation.
"I never dreamed I'd have a chance," Jisung answered guilessly, gaze open as he watched Minho’s face. "You basically don't date men, and I mean, I'm not Lee Dongwook or anything."
"But still, you had to know I wouldn't have reacted badly," Minho ventured. Because even if she hadn't had feelings like that for Jisung, if he'd confessed, she certainly wouldn't have let it ruin their friendship.
"I knew you would be nice about it," he allowed, "but why put you in that position? I know how annoyed you'd get when guys would hit on you even after you told them you weren't into men. I, of all people, should know not to do that."
"You aren't just some guy, Jisung," Minho argued. "Even if I didn't feel the same, I'd never have been annoyed at you."
"I didn't want you to feel guilty either. Or like you had to tiptoe around me so you wouldn't hurt me or something," he went on, voice a little softer and gaze a little more shuttered. "I didn't want to ruin what we had. It was enough even if I wanted more."
They let that sit between them, the weight settling slowly like snow that kept on falling until it blanketed everything in sight.
There was nothing to argue against because Minho had felt the same way. Any relationship, even platonic, was worth it. She'd rather have had their friendship than nothing at all. And if confessing could have ruined that? Of course she wouldn't have risked it. And neither would Jisung.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jisung asked again, voice still soft and tone careful. It was far from an accusation because he could probably guess at most of the reasons.
"Well, all of that," Minho admitted, referring to what Jisung had just said. "And, by the time I realized, I figured I'd completely friend-zoned myself. I thought that, even if you could have possibly ever been interested in me, that idea would have been so thoroughly squashed by the fact that I'm basically gay. I didn't think you could think of me that way."
"You underestimated how much I like you," Jisung said, almost seeming surprised by his own admission.
Minho felt her cheeks flush as though his feelings weren't something she already knew about. It was just different to hear him say it so plainly.
"How long?" Jisung asked, seeming to want to move on from his confession that had his own cheeks looking pink.
"Don't make me do this," Minho whined, covering her face. Somehow, how long she had been pining was more exposing than the fact that she'd been pining at all.
"What are you talking about?" Jisung laughed, but it was fond, not mocking. "I can't know how long you've liked me?"
Minho grumbled, making a great show of rolling her eyes when she took her hands away from her face. "Since second semester of my first year in college."
When she allowed herself to look at Jisung to see his reaction, his complete shock had her groaning and kicking at his ankle as she hid behind her hands again.
"That's so long!" he marveled, looking like, even in his wildest dreams, he'd never imagined that she could have been harboring feelings since then.
It had Minho feeling flustered, ears burning.
"How long have you liked me, then?" she challenged, thinking the same question would unnerve him enough to stop gaping at her.
It didn't.
"Since the minute I saw you," he replied honestly, expression resigned like it was an inevitability.
"Well, then don't that's-so-long- me, Han Jisung," she tried to tease, feeling flustered all over again by his easy admission.
Jisung's smile in response made her stomach flip.
"I mean, if you weren't you, it would have just been a passing crush on a pretty girl, but then we became friends and..." Jisung shrugged. "I was a goner."
Minho knew her blush had probably spread all the way down to her neck by now. Hearing him say things like that... it left her reeling no matter how much she tried to brace herself in order to be ready. She couldn't imagine a time when having Jisung so openly refer to his feelings for her wouldn't make her feel like she'd been flipped upside down on a high speed roller coaster.
As she tried to figure out how to respond, she watched as Jisung seemed to consider something- brows a little furrowed as he stared off in space.
"So... you liked me before Chan?" he asked after another moment. She could see why that was a surprise. As far as he knew, Chan was the end-all be-all for Minho when it came to romantic relationships. It was only partially the truth.
Nodding, Minho considered how to explain it properly.
"When I met Chan," she started, fingers picking at the hem of her sweater and fiddling with a loose piece of thread, "I was honestly surprised I liked her so much since I had been..." she paused, still feeling like she needed to mentally prepare herself to speak so freely, "hung up on you for half a year. I think I latched onto her more because of that. She felt like the only chance I had to avoid just pining for you forever."
She trailed off, flushing at her own candor. Jisung had already told her he'd liked her since high school, but Minho wasn't used to being so honest about her feelings. Still, she forced herself to continue despite her embarrassment.
"And that was true for a long time," she went on, trying not to look everywhere except Jisung's face. "No one I dated after her came close to how I felt...feel for you."
Jisung swallowed, staring at her with such intensity that Minho felt like she couldn't look away.
"The only other person I've developed real feelings for is Felix," Minho admitted, watching as Jisung nodded thoughtfully. Obviously he already knew that, but it still felt strange to admit to having feelings for his girlfriend.
"Me too," he said, before hastily clarifying. "Felix is the only person I've ever really fallen for besides you."
It felt significant, that Felix was that person for both of them.
"She keeps trying to offer to step aside," Jisung went on with a frown. "Like, because we've known each other for so long and she knows how long I've had feelings for you. I think she's worried she was just a means to an end."
Minho was shaking her head before he'd even finished.
"You told her no, right?" she asked, relieved when Jising nodded emphatically. "We have more of a history, but she is part of this. She can't-"
"I know," Jisung jumped in, a hand on Minho’s knee. "I keep telling her. I think she believes me, but you should tell her too."
Minho nodded, looking at the door as if Felix would somehow time her arrival perfectly for her to do just that.
"Can I kiss you?" Jising asked softly, pulling Minho’s attention from the door and sending a jolt of anticipation through her.
"Shut up," she complained weakly, flustered by the question as much as the impending action.
Jisung laughed fondly at her, fortunately knowing that she meant yes.
It wasn’t sexual, as far as passionate kisses went. It fely like a love letter- everything he'd been unable to say for the past seven years. And everything that still felt too heavy to say now that he could.
Minho tried to respond in kind- pouring out every clutch in her chest, every flip of her heart, every ache that seemed to fill her body with how much she longed for him in a way that she thought she could never have. It was dizzying, and Minho wondered if she was even breathing. But the click of the door had her jumping back like she'd been doing something she shouldn't.
"Oh," Felix remarked, coffees in her hand and her hip cocked as much as her brow. "I'm glad to see you aren't just sitting there avoiding eye contact with each other like when I left."
Minho flushed, now finding it hard to meet either of their gazes.
"Sorry," she blurted out before she could even think. Jisung was Felix's boyfriend. Regardless of what permissions were given when she wasn't present, she still felt like she had been caught doing something wrong.
Felix giggled, walking over to the couch and setting the cups down on the coffee table before sitting on Minho's other side.
"For what?" she asked teasingly, hand skating reassuringly down Minho's arm. "I mean, I guess I am a little jealous since I haven't gotten to kiss you yet."
Minho's cheeks were burning, but some of the unease in her gut lifted. This wasn't some sort of trick or joke. No one was faulting her for her feelings. She wasn't sitting opposite the pair and trying to squash down the mess of emotions that welled at the sight of either of them. The sick taste of secrets no longer crept up her throat like bile. Felix wanted her. Jisung wanted her. Cared for her. This was real.
"Is this okay?" Felix asked, eyes searching hers and hand still warm on her arm.
Minho nodded before glancing back at Jisung like he might have some objection, but he was just watching them with the same intensity that Minho found in Felix's eyes when she looked back.
Then Felix's lips were on hers, and Minho stopped worrying.
Felix kissed like she smiled- open and eager. It was joy being pressed to her mouth as sunshine lit her up from the inside. Even as the kiss deepened, heat buzzing between them, Minho could still feel the brightness that was Felix.
"Um..."
Jisung's voice had them breaking apart, both turning to look at him as he shifted on the couch- eyes flickering between them.
"Uh, Felix said we should talk and if you keep doing that, I don’t think we'll be talking," he explained sheepishly, cheeks pink.
Minho swallowed against a wave of want at the implications of that. To know they both wanted her as much as she wanted them...
No, if they were meant to be talking, she couldn't let her thoughts go down that road. Not right then.
"Right," Felix said decisively, setting her palms on her own thighs with a light smack. "We are going to properly romance you first."
Minho’s brows jumped. "Excuse me?"
Felix grinned. "We're going to take you out! Date you. Wine and dine you."
Jisung snickered to her left.
"Uh...sure," Minho agreed with a helpless laugh, though Felix's determination didn't leave much room for argument.
"So, I don't know exactly what you talked about while I was gone, but is there anything you wanted to ask me or us about?" Felix asked, reaching out to brush a thumb against the underside of Minho's wrist.
There was something she wanted to know.
"How did you know? When did you know? I just-" Minho shook her head, unable to even guess. Had she really been that obvious? Had Jisung? And if he had, how had she never noticed?
Felix smiled a little indulgently, like she'd been expecting that question.
"Well, after I first met you, I said to Jisung, she's gorgeous! Why didn't you properly warn me? And he got so flustered. I knew he liked you then."
"But if you thought he had feelings for someone else, why did you keep seeing him?" Minho asked. She thought most people would have been upset or jealous. But somehow...
"It was early still," Felix said with a shrug. "I didn't know how deep his feelings were. Maybe he was just attracted to you, and who could blame him? By the time I realized the extent of it, he wasn't the only one with feelings for you."
Minho felt her ears burn. No matter how many times either of them told her how they felt, she didn't feel any less overwhelmed.
"You were a bit harder to read," Felix went on, and Minho took comfort in that at least. Maybe no one aside from Felix had seen her crush blinking over her head in eye catching neon while she thought she was being discreet. "It was just little things, mostly- the way you looked at him or at us when we were together. The subtle ways you care. It was more just an impression I got than some big realization."
"I thought you just liked Felix," Jisung offered from over Minho’s shoulder, seeming a little proud to have picked up on something as well. "And she kept saying you liked me. We finally realized it was both."
"Finally is an understatement," Felix teasingly complained, grin directed at Jisung before she met Minho’s eyes again. "He would not believe me that you liked him. It took ages of convincing, and even then, I had to promise to take full responsibility if I was wrong and you were horrified or something."
"She did an awful job leaving you out of it when she talked to me yesterday," Minho revealed to Jisung with a quirk of her mouth as Felix pouted at her. "But in her defense, I don't think I'd have believed her either if she hadn't."
"That's what I told him!" Felix defended, reaching across Minho to poke at Jisung's shoulder as he tried to argue.
"Also," Minho interjected, getting the attention of both of them almost alarmingly quickly, "If you don't stop offering to step aside, I'll handcuff you to the radiator."
"You don't have a radiator," was somehow Felix's first problem with that statement. "And what do you mean? I haven't even said that to you yet."
"Jisung told me," Minho replied easily, feeling a little more at ease as they got into their usual rhythm of teasing. "And it doesn't matter if I don't have a radiator. The threat still stands."
"What about the handcuffs?" Jisung asked, seeming to think Felix not calling her out for that part was an oversight.
"Those I have," Minho confirmed with a smirk, watching with some satisfaction as Jisung snapped his mouth shut, cheeks reddening, and Felix smiled like she'd been expecting that answer.
"Okay, message recieved," Felix said, eyes softening- knowing that what Minho was actually saying was I care for you. We care for you. Stay.
"I'm gonna try really hard not to fuck this up," Minho added after a moment of quiet as they all seemed to be soaking in the gravity of the situation.
Jisung nodded fervently, bangs brushing his lashes with the movement.
"Me too. I can't lose either of you. I can't lose this. I won't."
Felix reached across Minho’s lap to grab Jisung's hand in a reassuring squeeze, holding Minho’s hand in her other.
"You won't," she soothed, sincerity imbued in her tone and eyes pooled with warmth. "It's going to be a learning curve, for all of us, but we'll figure it out together."
They were all a little scared, Minho realized. But that was a good thing because it meant that they cared.
This thing they had- it was precious. Minho would do anything she could to protect it, and knowing that Jisung and Felix felt the same just bolstered Minho’s trust in them.
It would be trying at times, and there were so many unknowns. But they would get through all of it. Together.
---
Felix hadn't been kidding when she'd said they were planning to romance her.
Minho hadn't known what to expect, really.
Felix had stopped staying over since, they explained, they didn't want their relationship to progress separately. Every morning, she woke up to a sweet text from Felix, telling her to have a good day, calling her gorgeous, sending a cute cat photo (the true way to her heart, and Felix knew it).
Jisung was somehow scraping himself out of bed before her to make coffee so it would be ready when she woke up. To be fair, he'd warned her he wasn't sure how long he could sustain the early mornings, but she appreciated it anyway. Especially with the sleepy kiss she got to go along with her caffeine that always made her blush no matter the hour.
Felix brought coffee and pasteries by after work, and they sandwiched her on the couch after dinner as they watched whatever movie or show they could all agree on.
Their first real date was dinner at a new restaurant that had opened up down the street (wherein Minho almost couldn't keep up as they both tried to feed her bites of the cakes they ordered for dessert), and then a movie at the cute little theater downtown. Jisung and Felix sat on either side of her and each kept hold of one of Minho's hands throughout, which was a little inconvenient when she needed to brush her hair back when it tickled against her cheek, but was mostly just really sweet.
Aside from the overtly caring gestures and the kisses she was now allowed to steal from both of them, her interactions with them didn't change all that much, and Minho was relieved.
No matter how much she'd always wanted more from her relationship with Jisung, she had been terrified that the move to a romantic place would ruin the near perfect synchronicity they shared, but it hadn't. They still teased each other, talked about absolutely anything for hours, and could happily exist together in the same space without needing to say a word.
Felix and Jisung still acted like a couple- the physical affection and obvious emotional intimacy still very much present. But the difference was that it was all directed equally at Minho. It became second nature to have Jisung curling around her on the couch when they were home from work for the day, his lips finding hers in a sweetly chaste slide that had butterflies erupting in her stomach even as he pulled away and smiled at her like kissing her was his greatest joy in life. And when Felix inevitably came by, Minho was ready for the palm against her neck and the kiss against her jaw as she asked how Felix's day had been.
It was new and different, but it felt so natural, Minho almost couldn't believe it hadn't always been like this.
After their first date, they had had little outings to cafes, walks in the park, a shopping trip when Felix wanted to replace a pir of earrings she'd lost, and a couple of dinners out. They could have been dates, but it just felt like them spending time together, just as they had before with the added benefit of reciprocated feelings.
But three weeks into their fresh relationship status, Jisung insisted she get dressed up ("but not too much") for dinner at a nice little bistro a few blocks away. The prices, while not exorbitant, were more than they usually spent on a dinner out. This felt decidedly date-like, especially when Felix showed up in a green silk cocktail dress and t-strap heels that had Minho staring more than she maybe should have been, though Felix looked pretty pleased whenever she found Minho's eyes on her.
Dinner had been delicious, but Felix's smile across the table, bathed in candlelight, and Jisung's ankles tangled with hers beneath it were what Minho held onto as they made the short walk back to their apartment together.
It was all of that, plus Jisung's hand on her lower back against the burgundy velvet of her blouse and the way Felix threaded their fingers together that had Minho feeling like there was something different about that night. And she was pretty sure she knew what it was.
The click of her shoes against the sidewalk and the swish of her skirt against her thighs seemed more pronounced as anticipation settled in her gut.
She'd been thinking about this. For as much as she appreciated how they were basically courting her with sweet, romantic gestures and rewinding their own relationship to keep pace with her, she couldn't deny how hard it was to pull away when they kissed her- want blooming in her no matter how innocent the intention might have been.
And now, as they all filed into her's and Jisung's shared apartment, Minho felt like the air between them was thick with desire.
Jisung kissed her first when they had locked the door behind them, hand cradling her neck and the other holding onto her waist as his lips moved against hers with a focus that was heady.
When Felix's mouth settled on the side of her throat, Minho couldn't suppress the shudder or the gasp she let out against Jising's lips.
"We should have a conversation first," Felix said when she pulled away, though her voice belied her own want.
"Do we have to?" Minho complained, not caring how petulant she sounded as she fiddled with the buttons on the midnight blue shirt Jisung wore. She felt like she'd been waiting forever for this, and her body was thrumming with arousal.
"Yes," Felix answered decisively even as Jisung made some sort of noncommittal noise against her collarbone.
Minho let herself be led to the couch where she perched next to Felix, watching Jisung flop into the chair across from them- knee bouncing with impatience. It was at least reassuring to know she wasn't the only one.
"Guys, please focus," Felix requested, laughter strained around the edges. She wanted to forgo talking too, it was obvious, but she somehow had ended up with the job of making sure they were all on the same page and being responsible.
"We could have talked about this earlier, so we didn't have to do it now," Minho pointed out, snickering at the sound of frustration Felix let out.
"Okay," she began, ignoring Minho’s belated suggestion. "To start, Jisung and I haven't slept together or anything since I asked you to date us. In the future, I think it's likely there will be times when it's just two of us, like one person is sick or out of town or not in the mood. But for now, before we've established intimacy among all of us, that felt kind of wrong. So we didn't."
Minho knew they hadn't been staying over at each other's apartments, and with how much time they were all spending together, she wasn't sure how they'd have had time anyway. But it was considerate of them to refrain, even if Minho wouldn't have held it against them if they hadn't.
Of course thinking about that just had her picturing them together (something she'd been more and more helpless to stop herself from imagining lately), which just sent a fresh wave of heat through her.
"We also don't want you to feel like you're coming in at a disadvantage since we've already been having sex," Felix went on (Minho really needed to stop picturing it if she was going to get through this conversation). "So if it would make you more comfortable, you could be with just one of us first and then both. Or one then the other and then both. Just- however you'd prefer to do it?"
If she wanted, one of them was going to benevolently go jerk off in the other room? Minho wanted to laugh, but it was nice that they'd put so much consideration into her own comfort.
They were both looking at her now, and Minho realized she was supposed to tell them what she wanted.
"Uh, thanks for the offer? But that won't be necessary," Minho said, wondering if she sounded too eager or if there even was such a thing in this case. Probably not, if the looks on Jisung's and Felix's faces were anything to go by.
"Alright," Felix chirped, sounding so forcefully normal that it almost covered the heavy want in her tone. Almost. "STI's? We're both clean. Are y-?"
"Clean," Minho interrupted, trying not to think about how she almost wanted to scoff at her last obgyn appointment when the doctor asked if she needed STI screening when she hadn't been with anyone since her last screening.
"Okay," Felix nodded, opening her phone and scrolling for a second. "Then that leaves..."
Minho wondered what she was looking for before realizing she'd made herself a list of things they needed to discuss.
Minho was hopelessly endeared.
But it also had her noting the way Felix was carrying this (necessary) discussion while she and Jisung were just sitting there nodding. Minho made the mistake of catching Jisung's eye, and she watched the same thing occur to him a second before they both burst out laughing.
"What?" Felix asked, looking between them in confusion- lips just slightly pulled down as they parted.
"You just really have this whole thing under control..." Minho started between giggles, looking at Jisung again and having to stop.
"-and we're just sitting here," he wheezed, breaking down into fresh peals of laughter as he and Minho locked eyes again.
Felix’s perplexed pout curved up as she snickered and half-heartedly attempted to make a swipe at them for laughing.
"Well, look what I'm working with!" she defended, gesturing at the pair of them. "Without me, nothing would progress at all!"
"I know, you're right," Minho agreed, still trying to breathe through her mirth.
"Sorry, Lix," Jisung added, also far from serious.
Felix rolled her eyes, but she was grinning fondly as she slumped back dramatically against the cushions.
"God, you guys," she complained, gleefully annoyed. "We're almost done, come on."
"Okay, okay," Jisung promised, holding up his hands in surrender even as he grinned.
Minho nodded mock seriously, and Felix snorted at the both of them before continuing.
"Okay, lastly, is there anything that anyone is uncomfortable with or definitely wants to avoid?" Felix asked, back to the organized cruise director she had become.
"You didn't ask me that before we had sex," Jisung accused, clutching at his non-existant pearls.
"Oh my god, I don't hand out questionnaires to all my sexual partners!" Felix retorted. "Just since this, with three of us, is such a new experience for everyone...?"
Minho nodded at the pause. Indeed this would be her very first threesome.
"And it might not feel as natural to bring up in the moment," Felix continued, shooting each of them a look like she was daring them to tease her again, though it was clear she wasn't actually that annoyed. "Okay? It's like you guys want to drag this discussion out all night."
"No, thank you," Jisung was quick to reply, miming zipping his lips.
Except there had been something Minho had been thinking about, and she felt her nerves reappear at having to voice it.
"Um...actually," she started, stopping Jisung's and Felix's bickering in its tracks as they waited to hear what she had to say. "It's not that I haven't, uh, gotten fucked before. But it was with a strap-on, so I was thinking to maybe hold off on that just for this time. Since all of it is going to be new?"
She knew she was blushing, and she hated that she felt so awkward just saying what she did and didn't want. But just like she'd said, this was all new, and it felt important because she'd never had feelings like this for anyone she'd been with before.
"Okay! That's totally fair," Felix readily agreed, a hand on Minho’s knee as a comfort. "See this is why I asked," she tacked on cheekily, clearly for Jisung's benefit.
"We can, um, definitely do it in the future though," Minho added, neck feeling so hot she thought she must have been radiating heat. She just wanted to take things one step at a time, that was all. She was still very open to new experiences.
Jisung swallowed at that, and Minho shivered at the want she could see on his face.
The mood shifted. It was impossible not to feel it. The air was thick again and the heat trickling through Minho's veins had her shifting where she sat. She didn't know how to start now that they could- nothing standing in the way of what all of them had been thinking about.
"Whose room are we going to?" Jisung finally asked, breaking the silence and licking his lips.
"Obviously mine," Minho replied, managing to nail derision despite the quickening of her pulse.
"Hey, I cleaned," Jisung defended, brows creased as Minho tossed back an unconvinced sure.
"I vote Minho’s room too," Felix added, standing first and making her way in bare feet and her floaty dress toward Minho’s bedroom.
No one was going to argue with that.
The short trek to the bedroom could have been almost funny to watch, what with the three of them silently walking in a line like the world's quietest and horniest parade, but humor was not at the top of Minho's list of priorities at the moment.
Felix spun around once Jisung had shut the door behind them, taking one step to get close enough to Minho to press tantalizingly against her front and press their lips together almost teasingly lightly.
Her hands moved up to grip Minho’s shoulders, swaying into her body when Minho gently held her waist, and finally kissing her like she wanted.
The heat of Jisung pressing against her back had Minho letting out the smallest sigh against Felix's mouth, which just gave her the opportunity to deepen the kiss.
Jisung's hands were running up and down her sides as his lips trailed across her shoulders through her shirt, and Minho felt like her knees were going to give out.
Arousal burning through her, it was a relief when Felix went for the tie closure of her blouse- untying it with ease and peeling the slinky material off her heated skin.
The cool air against her had her shivering, though that might have also been the appreciative noise Jisung made as his lips pressed to her nape and his hands wrapped around the bare skin of her ribs.
Minho couldn't stop from sliding her fingertips up the smooth, warm skin of Felix's thighs, reveling in the little huffing breaths against her mouth as Felix shuddered from her touch. She wanted more skin to map with her fingers, more warmth and softness to press against as her skirt fell around her ankles, though she hadn't noticed who had unfastened it.
The zipper at the back of Felix's dress was easy to slide down, and Minho didn’t even try to hold back the whimper as they pressed tight together- almost all hot skin.
Minho was being spun around by Felix's hands on her shoulders, getting just a glimpse of her strapless bra falling away as she turned before Felix was against her back and Jising was kissing her. Nearly slumping into him, she reached between them to start on the buttons of his shirt. His fingers joined hers, and soon his shirt was discarded on the floor with the rest of their clothes.
Felix cupped her breasts through the silk and lace bra she had chosen (hopeful, so hopeful, that she wouldn't be the one taking it off) and then her arms were on either side of Minho as she unfastened Jisung's pants.
It was like that, nearly bare, that they made it to the bed- Felix pushing her down on her back with her head resting on her pillows and Felix curled against her side to mouth at her neck and jaw, ear and shoulder, and then down to her bicep, which was a errogenous zone she didn't know she had until she was arching against Jisung as he climbed over her to reconnect their mouths like he needed her to breathe.
Felix's fingers were dipping under the lace cups of her bra to run against her peaked nipples when Jisung pulled back from their kiss. Minho blinked, and it was through a haze that she realized Felix and Jisung were kissing right next to her, lips sliding wet and tongues meeting right there. She was moaning before she could stop herself, heat rushing between her legs so fast it left her dizzy.
The knowing smirk on Felix’s face when she bent her head to press teasing kisses to Minho's chest felt like it seared her, bra falling open at Felix's deft fingers.
"Fuck, baby," Jisung groaned, kneading at Minho’s thighs and tracing along the edges of her silk underwear. "Can I eat you out?"
It took Minho a second to realize he was talking to her, not Felix, and when she did, she could hardly bite back the whimper. Of course Jisung would call his partners baby during sex. It should have been something she would tease him for (and maybe she would later), but right now it was making her ache.
"Yes," she gasped out, feeling the way Jisung shuddered in anticipation and Felix moaned softly against her chest where she was mouthing at her nipples.
There was a flash of self consciousness as her underwear was stripped away, the last scrap of fabric hiding her modesty- gone. It wasn't something she usually worried about, but this was different. Still, the feeling didn't last long as Jisung murmured something along the lines of beautiful, fuck and scooted down until he was breathing hot against her.
The first touch of his tongue had her gasping- hips lifting and hands seeking out anything to hold on to, which turned out to be Felix.
"Off, off," she requested, reaching around to tug at the little piece of lace still clinging to Felix's hips.
Minho watched blearily as Felix knelt on the bed to shimmy the fabric down her legs, clearly not worried about modesty at all.
"Oh," she breathed, caught between arousal and worry as she stared at the apex of Felix's thighs. "Sorry, I don't shave."
Which was probably a stupid thing to announce since Jisung was literally between her legs at the moment, so it would have been truly worrying if he hadn't yet noticed that detail.
"Don't apologize," Felix was quick to assure her, smile holding the same warmth even like this. "I just like how it feels for me. I don't have a preference for my partners or anything."
"I don't shave," Jisung offered from between Minho’s thighs, and Felix nearly flopped over beside Minho as she laughed and tried to aim a kick in his direction.
Minho’s amusement was cut short, however, when she caught sight of her own slick clinging to his lips which had heat dripping down her spine and setting her on fire.
"C'mere," she beckoned, trying to pull Felix's hips toward her before she couldn't get words out anymore. "Sit on my face."
"Oh my god," Felix moaned, Jisung echoing the sound against her as he settled back between her legs, and did as she requested- straddling Minho’s head so she was facing the foot of the bed. It was usually easier to face the head of the bed in order to hold onto the headboard, and Minho realized Felix was doing the opposite to watch what Jisung was doing.
Fuck.
Minho wrapped her arms around Felix's thighs, and pulled her down so her knees slid a little on the sheets.
This was familiar territory, at least- eating girls out. Minho had heard she was quite good at it, so that was one thing she didn't have to worry about.
Felix was warm, wet, and soft against her mouth- her taste fresh and pure like no human had any right tasting. Minho didn’t know if she was just so blissed out that she thought that, or if Felix really tasted like dew drops on flower petals. Either way, Minho moaned against her folds as she rubbed her lips and teased her tongue against her, addicted already to the needy sounds she was making above her as she rocked her hips just slightly in Minho’s hold.
But even with as much as she savored Felix over her, it was getting harder and harder to focus on that.
Jisung's hands were holding her thighs apart as he dragged the flat of his tongue against her clit over and over so her hips kept trying to chase his mouth. She still couldn't fucking believe Jisung's mouth was on her, teasing her closer and closer to orgasm, and that just had the pleasure mounting faster and coiling tighter in her gut.
"Jisung," Felix whimpered, trying to hold herself up while still pressing herself against Minho’s wriggling tongue, "she's so good at this. I knew she'd be so good."
The moan against her clit and the fact that they were talking about her had Minho nearly sobbing. She was so close. It was all too much- Felix's cunt fluttering against her mouth and Jisung's lips wrapping around her clit to suck. She couldn't hold on anymore even though she wanted to savor it just a moment longer. But she knew this wouldn't be the last time.
With a cry against the crease of Felix's thigh, Jisung's tongue thrashing against her swollen clit, Minho let herself plummet over the edge with wave after wave of pleasure- coming so hard her hands started to tingle and she felt a tear escape and drip down her temple.
"God, Minho," Felix moaned appreciatively above her, holding herself carefully so as not to smother her. "You're so fucking sexy."
Still shivering through the aftershocks of her orgasm, Minho whimpered as Jisung nuzzled into her thigh- pressing wet kisses and praises to the flesh there.
She was buzzing- body thrumming with satisfaction and want, both. It was easy to adjust her grip on Felix hips to pull her back down and redouble her efforts against her arousal.
The little circles Felix was making with her hips got tighter and more frantic, throbbing against Minho’s lips as Minho sucked and licked against her until she was shaking with her release and letting out a keen Minho kind of hoped the neighbors could hear.
When Minho blinked her eyes open, she saw that Jisung had crawled out from between her legs to kneel in front of Felix and hold her up so she didn't collapse on Minho’s chest. His lips were against the side of her neck as she caught her breath, and Minho couldn't look away from them.
"So good," Felix sighed, eyes meeting Minho’s over her shoulder as leaned against Jisung. And though the first part was directed at Minho, the added, "will you fuck me?" was not.
"Of course, baby," Jisung replied, hands gripping Felix's waist just a tiny bit tighter.
Minho felt her breath hitch, knowing that she was going to see, with her own eyes, what they probably often got up to before she had become a part of them. God, she wanted to watch.
"I have an idea," Felix said, surely able to see the eagerness on Minho’s face. "Sit against the pillows?"
As she scooted up, she watched Jisung climb off the bed and pad out of the room. He was straining against his boxer briefs- wet with precum where the tip of his length pressed against the fabric. At least part of that was from eating Minho out, and she felt herself pulse at the thought.
Felix kissed her own taste off Minho’s lips while they waited for Jisung to return, moaning into her mouth and seemingly just as eager to get off as she had been before she came against Minho’s tongue- desire not yet waning.
A moment later, Jisung climbed back on the bed with a condom and without his underwear. Minho let herself look- the smooth skin, small waist, gently toned muscle, and hard length curved against his belly. There'd been a worry that her attraction might be theoretical when faced with the reality of being with a man, but it was with relief that she realized it wasn't the case. She didn't think it was likely she would find another man attractive in this way, but she had no shortage of attraction to Jisung. And that was what mattered.
"Let me know if this is uncomfortable," Felix told her, turning and settling herself against Minho’s chest so she was sitting in the v of her legs with her own legs bent at the knee- feet pressed flat against the mattress.
Jisung crawled to kneel between Felix's spread legs, and Minho wanted to moan with the view she was about to have.
"Would you do the honors?" Felix playfully asked, plucking the condom packet from the bedspread between her thumb and forefinger and held it out to Minho.
She took it gingerly, not unfamiliar despite not having been intimate with the non-plastic type of penis (sometimes the dildo variety needed to be covered with a condom as well, depending on what it was meant to be doing.) It was a way to have her involved without being directly a part of it this first time, and Minho appreciated the thought.
Ripping open the packet with careful fingers, Minho pinched the tip and placed the little latex ring at the tip of Jisung's cock before smoothing it down the length with her other hand. He was warm in her grip, but she was more interested in the way his lashes fluttered at her touch- front teeth digging softly into his lower lip and hips moving forward just slightly to chase her touch. And just because she could, she gave him one more stroke from base to tip, unable to help the smirk at the way his mouth fell open in, making way for a surprised moan to escape.
But Felix was shifting now, clearly wanting, so Minho pulled her hand away to hold onto Felix's soft thighs, watching as Jisung guided his length to her before pushing gently inside.
Minho was only watching, but she felt like she couldn't breathe as he bottomed out, his breath coming quicker and Felix letting out a satisfied sigh at having been filled.
The movement started slow- Jisung's hips moving forward and Felix rolling hers to meet his movements as he pressed gentle kisses to her lips. But gradually the pace increased, a rhythm easily found that belied their practiced ease together.
Their movement had Minho moving a bit too, though it wasn't uncomfortable. Instead it just made her feel like she was getting fucked too.
Curling her arm around Felix's body, Minho cupped one of Felix's breasts and rubbed against her nipple with her thumb, reveling in the shiver she felt against her front. With her other hand, she reached between Jisung and Felix to get a finger against Felix's clit. She personally needed the extra stimulation to come, and figured that even if Felix didn't, it wouldn't be unwelcome. She hadn't, however, thought through the fact she would also be able to feel where Jisung was moving in her.
All three of them gasped at the touch, Felix tipping her head back against Minho’s shoulder. Jisung's eyes found hers, gaze glassy and awestruck. Surging forward, Jisung kissed Minho over Felix's shoulder- messy and desperate. She could tell her was close, and that knowledge was heady. She wanted to see him come, buried inside of Felix and lips brushing hers.
Crying out, Felix arched against Minho- one hand braced on Minho’s knee and the other hooked around Jisung's nape- and tipped over the edge a second time.
"Fuck," Jisung groaned, looking nearly delirious with pleasure, as Felix orgasmed around around him. "Lix, Minho!"
And then he was coming as well, eyes slamming shut and mouth dropping open as he rode out his pleasure with sharp thrusts that rocked all three of them.
"Holy shit," Jisung panted somewhere around Felix's collarbone. "That was..."
No, Minho couldn't think of any words for that either.
"Agree," Felix chimed in, petting over Jisung's sweaty hair as he attempted to push himself up so he wasn't crushing both of them.
Once he was upright, he took off the condom, trying it off and shuffling away to, presumably, throw it away somewhere that wasn't the little garbage can by Minho’s desk.
"You want to come again, right?" Felix asked with a knowing smirk, rolling off to the side to look up at Minho from her stomach.
She absolutely did- wetter now than she had been before, even. However, she'd been hesitant to demand too much, especially the first time. Felix's grin as she slithered between Minho’s already spread legs didn't make it seem as though she was too inconvenienced though.
"Oh," Minho gasped when Felix's lips pressed directly to her clit without any preamble. With the sight of Jisung and Felix having sex as well as the slight friction against Felix's skin from their movements, Minho was already embarrassingly close.
Hands finding purchase on the back of Felix's head, silky strands of her hair slipping between her fingers, Minho moaned helplessly. Felix was skimming her lips and tongue in turn against her sensitive clit, and Minho wondered if she was going to melt into a puddle or burst into flames.
"Hold on!" Jising exclaimed, bursting back into the room in a pair of fresh underwear. "I wouldn't have left if I knew this was happening."
Felix pulled her mouth away just to say, "you didn't ask," before she was diving back between Minho’s thighs and making her keen.
The next thing she knew, Jisung was next to her on the bed, hands cradling her jaw to kiss her- tongue tangling with hers until she was panting too much to use her mouth for anything other than trying to get in a breath. Then his lips moved to her jaw and down her neck, sucking against her pulse in a way that was definitely going to leave a mark, but Minho couldn't bring herself to stop him. The idea of seeing a purple bruise on her skin from his mouth just had her throbbing against Felix's rapidly moving tongue.
"Gonna-" she warned, muscles trembling as the pleasure mounted up, up, up before crashing down around her and whiting out her vision momentarily as she rode out one of the best orgasms she had ever experienced in her life.
"More?" Felix asked, chin propped against her hip and looking completely content to keep eating her out. That in itself was incredibly sexy, but Minho felt like she'd been wrung out in the best way.
"No, you're gonna kill me," she complained, arm flung over her eyes (though they all knew she wasn't really complaining at all.)
Jisung flopped against the pillows, snugging up against Minho’s side so they were pressed together from shoulder to ankle. Felix crawled up to Minho’s other side, curling around her body and using a toe to try to pull up the blanket that had been dislodged...at some point.
It was a lot of physical affection at once, and maybe it would get to be too much later, but for now, it just had Minho feeling far too fond. She had to bite back the words that wanted to spill from her lips, but there would be time for that.
"That went well, I think," Felix announced cheekily around a yawn, burrowing further into Minho's blankets.
"We can stay in my room, if you want," Jisung offered, knowing how Minho liked her space. Though neither of them seemed on the cusp of moving.
"It fine," Minho said, trying to sound exasperated but not succeeding in the least with the way Jisung kept kissing against the spot on her neck he'd marked. "Stay."
"If you're sure," he replied into Minho’s neck, breath warm where it puffed against her skin.
Felix yawned again, nose pressed against Minho’s shoulder, and Minho had never been more sure of anything in her life.
They weren't going anywhere, and that was more than fine.
---
"Minho?" Felix called from the kitchen, the rattling of utensils only slightly drowning out her voice. "Where is the whisk?"
"It should be in the drawer by the paper towels," she replied, craning her neck over the back of the couch.
"I don't see it..." Felix told her, more clanging and the opening and closing of drawers.
"I don't think I've used it recently..." Minho mused, trying and failing to see Felix in the kitchen from where she was sitting. "I'd come help you find it, but Jisung is sitting on my lap like an overgrown dog."
At the sound of his name, Jisung looked up from his phone where he was, indeed, sprawled across Minho’s lap on the couch, and grinned.
Minho sighed.
"It could be on the drying rack on the counter?" she tried, listening to Felix moving around in the kitchen. She was trying to make brownies for them, but was having trouble since it wasn't her own kitchen and she didn't know where everything was. Minho would have been helping but...
"No, it's not there," she replied, and Minho leveled Jisung with a look that he countered with a face of complete innocence.
"I can probably knock Jisung off, just give me a second," she threatened, and Felix's laughter from the other room was immediate.
"You wouldn't!" Jisung gasped, suddenly wrapped around her like a koala so any attempt at throwing him off would be futile.
Minho rolled her eyes and pinched his ear, earning herself a dramatic yelp.
"You're lucky I love you," she muttered, knowing that Jisung would take that for the compliment it was despite her delivery.
As she expected, Jisung immediately turned to her with fluttering lashes and lips pursed exaggeratedly for a kiss.
"Yuck," Minho complained, pushing at his cheek even though they all knew she was absolutely gone for the ridiculous human in her lap. "Lix! Save me!"
"Found it!" Felix crowed, stepping around the doorframe with the whisk in hand. "It was wedged in the back of the drawer."
Her grin was triumphant, but her eyes visibly softened when she looked at the two of them, tangled on the couch with Minho’s hand pushing at Jisung's cheek as Jisung pretended to pout and Minho pretended she wasn't seconds away from laughing.
It had been nearly five months since Minho had texted that single word into their group chat, completely upending her own world in the best way possible.
There had been a couple hiccups, sure. Trying to traverse a three-way relationship for the first time had its challenges, especially since they were all as new to the experience as they were invested in it. Occasional arguments were inevitable, and as with any relationship, some feelings were unintentionally hurt along the way, but that all paled in comparison to the pure happiness that they brought each other.
Felix had been given a key to Minho’s and Jisung's apartment about one month into their relationship, and it was rare she ever spent a night at her own anymore. And unless one of them was going to be home really late or had to get up super early and didn't want to disturb the other two, they spent nearly every night crammed into either Minho’s or Jisung's bed (usually Minho’s for cleanliness reasons, but sometimes they stayed in Jisung's room so Minho didn’t feel like her space was being invaded.)
They'd celebrated each month's anniversary by going to a new, fancy restaurant (at Felix's insistence), and thoroughly enjoyed taking each other apart afterwards. Of course, that happened on non-important days as well, just sans the nicer clothes that ended up piled on the floor.
Sometimes it hit Minho how vulnerable she was, having placed her heart in their hands. It would be as easy to shatter as blown glass. But that was love, and she trusted Jisung and Felix as much as she could trust anyone to keep her heart from smashing against the floor and splintering into pieces.
"So no one is gonna help me?" Felix teased, brandishing the whisk and cocking a quizzical brow at the pair on the couch.
"I would, but I can't get up," Minho defended at the same time Jisung said through a pout, "So comfy though."
"Guess no one wants to help me eat them either," Felix taunted, face splitting into a grin as Jisung nearly fell off the couch trying to get up.
"Ugh, finally," Minho groaned, making a show of stretching out her limbs as she smoothly stood up. She wasn't fooling a single soul in the room, though, that she had been anything less than fond of Jisung cuddled up to her, regardless of what she said about it.
Felix rewarded both of them with as a kiss as they filed into the kitchen and with brownies once they were fresh from the oven (even though Jisung's "helping" had been mostly in the form of asking to taste the batter and spilling sugar on the counter.)
If she was able to tell her lovesick, heartache-ridden teenage self about how things would turn out, she wasn't sure she would. It would have been a great incentive to get through years of quiet pining, of course, but the surprise of finding the most amazing girl in the world along with Jisung more than reciprocating her feelings was too good to spoil.
Past Minho just had to get through a little bit more before she was handed more than she had ever thought to hope for.
And with Jisung and Felix on either side of her as they polished off the brownies and tried to choose a movie to watch, Minho was happier than she ever thought she could be.
Statistical probablities and famous actors be damned- she had everything she wanted right here.