Chapter Text
Xena could hear Gabrielle’s lilting voice as she approached the entrance to the yurt. Not wanting to disturb her story, she waited just outside and listened.
“...and the Amazon princess was admired and cherished, not just for her wisdom and her power, but also for her love for her people.”
There was a pause, and a light rustling. Xena peeled back the edge of the curtain and watched as Gabrielle bent over Eve to kiss her forehead. She was sitting cross-legged on the bedroll, piled high with fur blankets, with Eve cradled in the crook of her arm, clearly fast asleep. In her other hand Gabrielle held the necklace of beads that Cyane had returned to her. She sat back and gazed at it, looking pensive and sad. A shaft of late afternoon sunlight pierced the fabric walls, seeming to soften her even further.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Xena kept her footsteps silent as she walked in, smiling warmly.
“Shh!” Gabrielle gave her a warning look. “She’s just gone to sleep.”
“I know. I was talking to you.”
“Oh.” Gabrielle blushed, returning Xena’s smile. Xena looked approvingly at the sleeping baby in her arms.
“Good job.”
“It wasn’t hard, she’s exhausted.” Gabrielle looked fondly at Eve. “It’s tough being the centre of attention all day, isn’t it? Princess,” she added in a whisper.
Xena hung back, not wanting to break the moment of connection between them. But once Gabrielle looked up at her again, she scooped Eve into her arms and tucked her into her papoose. She sat next to Gabrielle and ran a hand over her hair; Gabrielle leaned into the touch with a little sigh.
“You look tired, too.”
“Thanks,” Gabrielle said wryly.
“Beautiful, as always,” Xena qualified, “But tired. Why don’t you get some rest? Have a lie down here for a while.”
“I should be out there.” Gabrielle gestured outside. “Celebrating our daughter’s initiation, not hiding in here out of the way.”
“You’re allowed to take a break. You’re not on show.”
“But I’m -” she stopped herself.
“Go on.”
“I - I want them to know I’m one of them. I really want to teach them some of the things I know about the Amazons, and for that to work I need them to respect me.”
“They do respect you. You are Queen, after all - temporarily.”
“Some of them do. But if I’m going to get through to them I need all of them to trust me, to be open to me. That’s why -” she turned to face Xena, suddenly serious. “I think I want to stay a bit longer.”
Xena pursed her lips. “How much longer?”
“‘Till the next moon, maybe?” Gabrielle looked earnestly at her. “I want to make a difference here, not just swan in and out again when we want something. This tribe has suffered. They need time to heal and rebuild - not yet another transition to a new leader in the space of a few days.”
“Even though Cyane is clearly waiting in the wings?”
Gabrielle made a face that said she felt as dubious about the ambitious young woman as Xena did. She looked down, absently fingering the beads in her lap. Xena covered her fidgeting hand with her own.
“We can stay a while if it’s what you want. I’m not in any rush.” She looked around the yurt - comfortable as it was, it could be bigger, and a real bed wouldn’t hurt either. “Maybe they could spare one of the huts for us though. Give us a bit more space.”
Gabrielle brightened, flashing her a grateful smile. “I’m sure they will. I’ll ask Cyane.” She wrapped an arm around Xena’s waist and hugged her. “Thank you.”
Xena enjoyed the embrace for a moment, breathing in the rich scent of earth and of wild boar cooking on the communal fire pit outside. It wasn’t a bad life, here - at least for a short while. It always made Gabrielle happy to be among the Amazons; and there was plenty of untamed forest to explore with Argo if she got a bit bored.
She carefully took the necklace of beads from Gabrielle’s hand and held one of them up to the light, pale green and shimmering like a raindrop on a leaf.
“This is pretty.”
“That’s the bead that Amarice added for Eve.” Gabrielle smiled sadly, tears forming in her eyes. “Cyane said she was happy here. I think she found her home at last.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“Yeah.” Gabrielle sniffed, blinking the tears away before they fell. “That’s what my story was about, just now. I told Eve about her Auntie Amarice that she never got to meet.”
Xena squeezed her shoulder, and Gabrielle leaned against her again. The grief for the tribe’s lost members was still palpable, etched into the faces of the remaining women despite the joyful dancing of today’s ceremony. On arriving at the devastated village, Xena had felt the pain of Yakut’s death most keenly, but Amarice...it didn’t quite seem real, that their brilliant, infuriating young friend had also been wiped away by the violence inflicted on this tribe. Such a waste.
Xena cocked her head to one side as she handed the beads back to Gabrielle.
“If Eve’s an Amazon now, does that mean Amarice is her aunt or her sister?”
Gabrielle smiled, glancing over at Eve. “Both, I guess.”
“Hmm. Sometimes I feel like we were Amarice’s parents too,” Xena muttered.
Gabrielle grinned. “She was a handful, at first. I used to forget I wasn’t even ten years older than her - it felt like a lot more.”
Xena couldn’t resist nudging her. “I know the feeling.”
“Hey!” Gabrielle whacked Xena’s stomach with the back of her hand. “C’mon, I was never as bad as she was.”
Xena just raised a knowing eyebrow. Gabrielle would get cross with her so quickly when she mocked her younger, impulsive self. It was just too easy.
“I wasn’t!” Gabrielle all but stamped her foot. Adorable.
“Well, you were a fast learner,” Xena conceded. “You grew out of the handful stage more quickly. But Amarice did remind me of ‘little’ you, sometimes.”
“'Little’ me?” Gabrielle had gone bright red. Xena just managed not to cackle.
“Oh, sorry. Younger you, I mean,” she smirked. “You’re still little.”
Gabrielle snapped, lunging forward to wrestle Xena down onto the convenient pile of soft blankets behind them. Xena let it happen, of course, allowing Gabrielle to grasp her wrists and pin her down, straddling her hips and trying her best to look threatening. She was absolutely gorgeous when she was mad at Xena’s teasing, which was precisely why Xena persisted.
“And sometimes still a handful, if I’m honest,” Xena quipped, pulling a hand free and spreading it over Gabrielle’s backside with an infuriating little smile. That did it - Gabrielle pounced with a growl, nipping at her neck and collarbone, hands scrabbling to get under her tunic, but Xena flipped her easily, blankets muffling her shriek of delighted rage. Xena held her there, but stayed still, letting her catch her breath.
Gabrielle relented, shaking her head with a grin, a hand snaking round to cup the back of Xena’s neck and pull her down for a kiss. Xena complied, but she resisted the urge to sink into it, sitting back on her heels instead with an impish grin.
“Want me to tuck you in?”
“No!” Gabrielle struggled to sit up, pushing the tangle of blankets away. “I told you, I should be out there with the tribe. Baby Amazon Princesses get to have naps during their ceremony, not adult ones.”
Xena made a face, then inhaled deeply. The air was thick now with the rich, smoky smell of the ceremonial feast.
“Well, something delicious is cooking,” she declared, getting to her feet and holding out a hand to pull her partner up. “I reckon the mother of the newest member of the tribe gets to have the first cut, right?”
Gabrielle swatted Xena’s backside as they made their way out of the yurt.
Late that evening
Gabrielle sat with Xena at the far edge of the feast. A few of the tribe were still indulging; others even had energy to continue dancing. There was a heavy sense of catharsis now, movements slow and sensual, eyes glazed with wine, a few women crying softly as they danced. Gabrielle gave herself an internal nod of approval. This is what the tribe needed; to take their anger at their losses and channel it into movement, song, communal grief and healing. I’ll always regret arriving after the attack - but at least we can share in this.
Xena nudged her. “Tired?”
“Exhausted. Ready to get cosy in that little yurt?”
Xena gave her a bland smile. “You’re welcome to sleep outside.”
“Ah -” Gabrielle shoved her lightly. “Who’s Queen?”
Before Xena could retort, a shadow fell over them both - a young woman had approached, blocking the light from the fire. She looked shyly at them.
“M-my Queen. I don’t wish to interrupt, but…”
“It’s okay,” Gabrielle said softly. “Can I help?”
“You came here once before, and - you brought Amarice with you.”
“That’s right,” Gabrielle smiled. “About a year ago, wasn’t it?” She looked to Xena for confirmation.
“It was fourteen moons ago,” the young woman answered instead. Gabrielle blinked at her, startled by the clarity of the memory. Amarice must have been important to her.
“You and Amarice were close?”
“Yes. She was…” the woman tailed off, biting her lip. Her voice had taken on the husky quality of one whose grief is fresh and raw.
Gabrielle looked meaningfully at Xena. Her partner gave her a tiny nod, then murmured, “I’m going to check on Eve.” She stood, squeezing Gabrielle’s shoulder before she walked away.
Gabrielle gestured to the vacant space next to her. “Come. Sit with me. What’s your name?”
“Tyreas.”
Gabrielle smiled. The pronunciation was slightly different, but there was a stark similarity to the name of the Amazon princess who had given her the right of caste and set her on this journey. Things have a habit of coming back around.
“But - everyone just calls me Ty.” The woman sat down next to Gabrielle, tucking her knees into her chest. Gabrielle looked more closely at her - bobbed, wavy hair, the firelight picking out hints of red; warm hazel eyes in a freckled face. She was younger than she’d first appeared - younger than Amarice, possibly not even twenty.
Gabrielle cleared her throat.
“I’m so sorry, Ty,” she said simply. “Amarice was a beautiful, courageous spirit. I missed her a lot, after we left here. I always thought we’d see her again…but we were too late.”
“There was nothing you could have done.”
“If we’d been here we could have fought alongside you.”
Ty made an angry, dismissive noise. “We could have avoided fighting at all. We’ve been encroaching on their hunting grounds.” She let out a bruised laugh. “They even warned us before they attacked - but for once Yakut was blind to what might happen.” With a rough sigh, she closed her eyes. “It was all so stupid.”
Gabrielle said nothing for a while. She had heard differing accounts of the attack on the tribe - this was probably the most honest yet. The tribe had been growing in size, more and more young women joining them as a refuge from tough lives in the surrounding hills and plains, and they’d had pushed their way west in search of more bountiful sources of food. They’d felled trees, built permanent huts, and shed many of their previous nomadic and shamanistic traditions. Inexperienced and perhaps bullish, they hadn’t heeded the warnings that they were hunting the same animals as a Samite tribe. The resultant raid had been swift and shocking.
Gabrielle’s attention was drawn back to the tense young woman beside her, rubbing the side of her leg with a gasp of pain.
“You’re injured?”
Ty gave an unconvincing shrug. “I’m not much of a fighter. I’m a good rider and a decent shot, but I’m no use in close combat. I took out a few with my arrows, but then one of them got close enough to get me in the leg with their spear, and -” her eyes flickered to Gabrielle’s, face flushing with shame. “I retreated.”
“If you’re an archer, then you did the right thing,” Gabrielle said quietly. “Stay out of range so you can focus on what you’re there to do.”
“If I’d stayed I would have seen it,” said Ty. “I could have stopped her. Amarice.” She shook her head bitterly. “She ran after Yakut, right into the thick of it.”
Gabrielle couldn’t help but smile. “Of course she did. And you couldn’t have stopped her, Ty. It’s who she was.”
“Yeah. An idiot.” Ty smiled too, at this, tears glistening on her cheeks. “An impulsive, stubborn idiot.”
“And you loved her for it. So did we.”
Ty began to cry in earnest. Gabrielle lifted an arm around her shaking shoulders, hushing her quietly, heart breaking in her chest. At least Amarice found this kind of love here. She deserved it.
When her crying abated, Ty rolled her shoulders, tensing again. She looked directly at the smouldering fire ahead of them.
“I’m…I’m sorry if this offends you, my Queen. But I’m not cut out to be an Amazon.”
Gabrielle frowned. “Why do you say that?”
Ty gestured at her leg. “I know Amazons don’t expect to live long, peaceful lives, and I thought I was okay with it. But I’m not.”
“Amazon life isn’t about violence,” Gabrielle said, quiet but firm. “It’s a sisterhood. Supporting one another, and living independently of men and their obsession with power. It can certainly be peaceful.”
“But violence seems to find us even when we try to live in peace.”
Gabrielle opened her mouth, then closed it again. She couldn’t refute it. Every tribe she knew had been persecuted in some way.
“That’s why I can’t stay here.”
Gabrielle’s head snapped up. “What? No, Ty - you should stay. The tribe is the best place for you to heal -”
“No. Everything here reminds me of her. I can’t.” Her voice was cracking. “And we - we talked about leaving, together. Maybe returning to Greece. She wanted to show me the ocean.” A brief smile surfaced again as she said it. Gabrielle nodded.
“It is beautiful. Though - be aware if you travel by sea - it moves. A lot.”
Ty laughed then. She gazed into the distance, smiling softly, perhaps visiting a cherished memory. Gabrielle did the same, allowing Amarice’s dancing eyes and irrepressible smile to drift into her head. Of course she would have inspired Tyreas to explore the world. But now, grieving and alone?
“It could still be dangerous out there, after the raid. If you wait a while, you could travel with Xena and I - I don’t know exactly when we’re leaving, but -”
“Please - I can’t stay,” Ty repeated stubbornly. She turned to face Gabrielle, entreating with her eyes. “I must ask your permission to leave the tribe.”
Gabrielle let out a gentle sigh.
“And - I don’t want to be found,” Ty added. “Please don’t tell anyone where I’ve gone.”
“You’ll be missed, Ty. I can’t pretend we didn’t have this conversation.”
“You don’t know this tribe. They won’t miss me at all.”
“I know Amazons, and they will miss one of their own.” Gabrielle squeezed Ty’s shoulder. She knew better than to push when someone’s grief was talking - perhaps she would be more reasonable in the morning.
Ty sat still, absently rubbing her wounded leg. The fires had died down to deep crimson, and most of the Amazons were retreating to bed.
“Get some sleep,” Gabrielle murmured. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“Do I have your permission?”
Gabrielle stood, gazing down at Ty’s hunched figure. “I won’t withhold it if it’s truly what you want. But please, at least sleep on it.”
Xena was already asleep, a motionless mound of blankets, one hand visible reaching towards Eve. Gabrielle undressed outside the yurt; the space inside was taken up mostly with their bedrolls. Once ready, she crawled under the blanket, trying not to disturb Xena’s cocoon of warmth.
But with the practicalities of getting into bed complete, she lay still, staring into the dark with a heaviness pressing on her chest. Ty’s tear-stained face and the sad sight of the line of funeral pyres wouldn’t leave her. A wave of grief came looming, dragging, shocking her with its force and depth. Gabrielle turned over with a ragged sob, groping for Xena’s arm and gripping it hard, pressing her face into her shoulder.
She felt Xena’s hand on hers, and then her partner rolled over and gathered her into her chest, holding her tight until she had no tears left.
“Who was that?” Xena’s sleepy voice rumbled above her. “The girl you talked to.”
“Her name is Ty,” Gabrielle croaked. “Amarice’s girlfriend.”
Xena gave a brief grunt of recognition, tightening her hold on Gabrielle.
“Amazons have short lives,” Gabrielle said in a staccato voice, her throat too sore to let out more than a few words.
“Doesn’t have to be the case,” Xena shifted slightly to look down at Gabrielle. “And you can play your part in that.”
“Can I? I couldn’t save Ephiny. Now Yakut, Amarice…” she sniffed, wiping her eyes roughly.
“But you have an influence here, and the majority of this tribe want to leave in peace. Besides, like you said - we brought new life here. Eve is the newest Amazon - and I know that doesn’t erase those deaths, but it - it means a renewal. A fresh start, a focus for healing and looking to the future.”
Gabrielle gazed up at her, her bleak despair fading a little at these hopeful words. Xena’s describing the future she thought she’d never allow herself to have.
“That’s what she’s been for you,” she said softly. Her fingers drifted up to play with the strap of Xena’s shift.
Xena smiled. “For us. And now, perhaps, for this tribe.” Her hand traced Gabrielle’s spine, up to the nape of her neck, and Gabrielle gave a shiver as her fingers pushed into her hair. She snuggled a little closer.
“Y’know - I’ve always thought of this as ‘your’ tribe,” she murmured. “And I think Yakut saw you as a mentor. Now your own daughter is going to follow in her footsteps, as part of the same tribe.” She smiled faintly. “It has a nice symmetry, don’t you think?”
Xena tensed, reaching up suddenly to hold Gabrielle’s drifting fingers still. “But I thought Eve would learn the ways of the whole Amazon nation, not just this tribe.”
“Of course, but she’ll always have a special connection to here, where her initiation began.”
Xena smiled again, though her eyes darted quickly away. She closed them, tucking her wandering hand back around Gabrielle’s waist.
“Let’s try and get some sleep before our little Princess wakes us up.”