Chapter Text
James Potter, in his third year at Hogwarts, gave a survey asking almost everybody in Gryffindor house to describe him in one word. The top five words were: Loud, Annoying, Rich, Loving, and Stupid. It was his goal to change the results of this survey by the time he graduated, he was okay with ‘Loud’ and ‘Loving,’ he wanted ‘Annoying’ and ‘Stupid’ off the list though. ‘Rich’ he could give or take.
By his fifth year he was among the top of his class, officially wiping ‘Stupid’ off the list. That left one word to tackle in the next two years- ‘Annoying.’
James wasn’t sure how he was going to tackle this one, due to the fact that he was, in truth, rather annoying. Or at least, he could be. One girl, Lily Evans, who he had a large crush on for around five years, once described him as ‘relentless,’ which he slotted under the ‘annoying’ category and decided to address that one too. James was only around two months into his sixth year and was absolutely helpless in his quest to defeat the annoying allegations. He had made plans with Lily (who he no longer fancied) to address his annoying tendencies. Lily, who was rather fond of lists, had a piece of parchment in front of her and a rather old looking quill.
“I just want to say,” she began as James took a seat in the chair across from her, early morning light shining through the windows of the common room as Gryffindor House woke up around them, “I do not think you’re annoying, and I do not think you should be going to these lengths to change yourself because of what some people thought about you three years ago.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“It’s a little bit totally what you’re doing. And listen: I’m all for personal growth and changing as we get older but what you’re doing isn’t healthy.”
James had a feeling he would get this lecture when he asked Lily for her help, but he also knew she was the only one that would actually be able to help him. His best friend, Sirius, could see no wrong in anything James did, even when what he was doing was objectively wrong, the same goes for their friend Peter. Their other friend, Remus, was the exact opposite, he would probably tear James to shreds and offer no actual constructive criticism James could take to heart. They had other friends, Mary and Marlene for example, but they would also probably not be able to criticize James right to his face. Lily was the only one for the job.
“You know whether you help me or not I’m going to make this attempt.”
“I do know that, which is why I’m here, where do we start?”
The two spent the next forty-five minutes laying out James' best qualities and comparing them to his… less than stellar attributes. In the end, they had three main qualities to work on: Relentlessness (James had a tendency to pester until the answer was yes, Lily told him he has to sometimes accept that the answer is no), Volume (James had a tendency to scream and laugh at times when no one else was screaming or laughing, which he did understand could be annoying), and finally Pranks. That last one was gonna be a doozy for him, his friends would also be less than pleased when he told them he wanted to stop pranking so much, their entire friend-group (the marauders as they dubbed themselves) was built on a respect for pranking and the finely honed skill of pulling them off.
“Sirius is not going to be happy with you,” James had said when Lily brought up pranks.
“The rest of the school will praise me as a god.”
After a while of good-natured chatting, James finally stood, “I have to get to breakfast, I have potions this morning and if I’m late again Slughorn might actually throw school-rules out the window and hex me into another dimension.”
Lily laughed, “Good luck then, I was down to breakfast earlier,” she said as she collected her things, “They have those big strawberries you like this morning, I saw grapes too but I can’t remember if you prefer purple or green.”
“Green,” James said hopefully.
“Yes! They are green! Good morning for you, then.”
James hopped in glee as he slung his bag over his shoulder, “See you in history!”
“See you!” Lily called after him.
James’ friends had passed him and Lily a few minutes prior, so he knew they’d already be sat for breakfast when he arrived, he thought of his fruit as he bounded down the stairs. He did have a weird excitement about fruit, it’s just that, he’s the star player on the Gryffindor quidditch team and he hates most vegetables so he has to get some healthy foods somewhere if he wants to be playing at peak performance, also strawberries are just good, so there’s also that.
Many eyes turned to the entrance of the Great Hall as James practically leapt through the doors, his eyes quickly scanning the room for his friends before heading directly for them.
“How was your date with Lily,” Sirius asked as he sat.
“Stop it, it’s not like that,” He replied, immediately piling an absurd amount of fruit onto his plate, Remus laughed at his plate but said nothing about Sirius’ remark.
“Sure it’s not,” Peter said from beside Remus, James rolled his eyes.
“I don’t even like her like that anymore, we’re just friends.”
“I’ll believe it when you stop looking at her like she walks on water.”
Remus finally stepped to James’ defense, “Okay leave him alone, he just got here,” James thanked him with a small smile, “And I want to hear what flaws she came up with.” James wished smiles could be taken back.
“You’re not going to like it,” James said.
“Of course I won’t,” Sirius said, mouth full of something that was threatening to spill down his chin, “I don’t like anyone that implies my Prongs has flaws.”
“Everyone has flaws,” Remus said coolly.
“Not James,” Peter replied.
“Even James,” Remus gestured to his crooked glasses, reaching across the table to straighten them, James wondered how long they were crooked, “And they are, according to Lily Evans, as follows…” He finished, prompting James back onto the topic.
“Oh, uhm, I’m too loud,” James recounted, “I’m too relentless, like, I don’t take no for an answer.”
“Good thing too! That’s called resilience!” Sirius interjected.
James ignored him, “And– and you really won’t like this one– the pranking needs to come to an end,” James' eyes shot shut at the noise of utter disbelief that left Peter. Sirius booed, shaking a thumbs down like he was attending a bad performance.
Remus just said, “You’re joking.”
“I’m not,” James shook his head.
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
Remus dropped his head into his hands, “This is the end.”
“Guys don’t be so dramatic.”
Sirius gasped, “We’re dramatic!? You’re going to stop pranking with us because someone called you annoying three years ago!”
“It’s just– You guys have to understand how the pranking could be annoying to everyone else.”
“Yes!” Peter replied, “That’s what’s funny about it!”
“Literally the point of pulling pranks,” Remus said into his own hands where his face was still hidden, “Is to inconvenience and annoy those around you.”
James was slightly shocked at Remus reaction, he was usually the calm collected one, he knew Peter and Sirius would react strongly but this disappointment from Remus was a surprise.
“I’m sorry guys.”
“I can’t even believe this is happening,” Peter cried loudly.
“How could you do this to us?” Remus said, still muffled by his hands.
James couldn’t hold back the small laugh that slipped out.
“HE LAUGHS!” Sirius screamed, James looked utterly horrified as he watched Sirius climb atop the table, “HE LAUGHS AS HE SPITS IN OUR FACES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” Sirius did a slow spin as he yelled, Remus and Peter seemed to be attempting to coax him down, meanwhile James was frozen in terror, this is working exactly against my goal to be less loud, he thought to himself as he allowed Sirius to humiliate him, “SIX YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP HE THROWS OUT THE WINDOW AS THOUGH YESTERDAY’S NEWS! HOW DARE HE–”
“That is quite enough, Mr. Black!” James sighed in relief as Professor McGonagall stood from the long staff table at the front of the room, “You may return to your seat.”
Sirius looked only slightly chagrined as he lowered himself, Remus and Peter were back to their previous expressions of betrayal. James could hear some snickering coming from other tables, one Slytherin shouting, Trouble in paradise? Which got a huge laugh from the rest of his table, but the moment quickly died and James turned back to his friends.
“I promise, nothing is going to change! You guys can still do your pranks, Remus is the brains anyway, I was mostly just along for the ride.”
Remus shook his head, “It’s the principle of the thing.”
“I’m sorry! This has been my goal since I was, like, thirteen! If I have to stop pranking to get my ratings up, then that’s what I have to do!”
“Your ratings? James, you’re not a TV show!” Sirius exclaimed.
“Am I not?” James replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Don’t go and give me attitude after breaking my heart how you have.”
“I told Lily you’d be mad.” James said, finally digging into his meal, trying to get as much down as possible before he’d have to leave for class, he had already seen some of his classmates leave the Great Hall so he wasn’t sure he had much time left.
“Well, right you were.”
“Right I was."
One of the only Third-Year-Survey words James was trying to maintain was ‘Loving.’ And usually, James really was loving! James really did try his best to be full of love. He tried to be kind and warm and overall pleasant, not even just to people. He tried not to project negative energy into the world at all, he didn’t even like to hate bad books. But if there was one single thing in the world that James Potter hated, it was potions class.
This was bad for a few reasons, one being that his family was incredibly rich due to his father’s innovations in the world of potions. Another being that his mother was a healer who worked with and brewed potions every single day, a third reason was that every student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was required to take and pass potions class every single year.
He could, from time to time, find potions class bearable under a few conditions but those conditions rarely ever worked out. The conditions were situations such as: if James was sitting with his best friends, if the class would not actually be brewing that day, if the classroom was crushed by a giant animal and therefore would not be held that day at all, etc. etc.
So yeah, James usually did not find potions class even bearable.
Today was no exception.
James realized as he entered the classroom that, supposedly out of protest, Remus and Sirius had decided to sit together, leaving James to fend for himself to find another open spot at some other table. If Peter were in their class it would probably have been much more simple, that is, if Peter wouldn’t also have made sure James would have to fend for himself.
James could always find himself in awe of his friends’ remarkable abilities to be the most immature people he knew, even Remus, who everyone thought was so clever and witty and mature, could stoop to very childish levels sometimes. This, James feared, was one of those times.
He grumbled and cursed under his breath as he took a seat next to a blond-haired Slytherin boy he knew to be named Evan.
“Yeah, no, who’d wanna sit next to me, right?” Evan said, not looking at James, keeping his eyes, instead, on the scribbled on parchment in front of him.
He took a quick look at Evan, he was seated so he couldn't tell how tall he was, but he seemed, at least, to be shorter than James. He had dark brown skin and deep brown eyes, he wasn't facing James either, so he couldn't make out much more than that. He did notice his hair, bleached blond and wrapped in dreads. The light hair contrasted his skin well, James wondered if he should dye his own hair blonde. No, he thought, Mum would kill me.
James had the sense to feel a little embarrassed by Evan's comment, “Sorry, it’s not you,” he offered his hand, “I’m James.”
Evan did not take his hand, “I know. I’m Evan.”
“I know,” a beat of awkward silence passed, “I’m glad we got that out of the way.”
Another few moments passed before Evan broke it by turning to James expectantly, “Well, do I get to know what it is ?”
“Sorry?”
“You’re grumbling, and it’s not about me, so what is it about?”
James was slightly uncomfortable with airing out his friend group’s dirty laundry like this to someone he hardly knew, but heaved a sigh and shared anyway, “My friends are being dickheads is all.”
“I heard that at breakfast this morning.”
James rubbed at his eyebrows with his fingers, almost as though tending to a headache, “Yeah, who didn’t right?”
“So what’d you do?”
“What’s with the assumption that I did anything?”
“If you’ve got three people mad at you, it has to be you that did something.”
James looked slightly annoyed when he shared what he did and in turn, proved Evan right, “I told them I was gonna stop with the pranks.”
Evan actually laughed, “Praise Merlin!”
“Ha ha,” James replied dryly.
“What so that’s it? We’re free?”
“Who’s we?”
“The innocent civilians damned to Hogwarts’ halls at the same time as the infamous Marauders.”
“While I do appreciate that your respecting our name–”
“I never said I respected it, I think naming your own friend group is pathetic.”
“Well, either way, no. They’re probably not gonna stop, but I’m done being involved.”
Evan looked amused, “ Someone was visited by three ghosts last night.”
“Ha ha,” James joked again, this time a glimmer of a smile present on his face. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Evan yet, but he couldn’t deny that he was funny.
When Slughorn walked to the board to begin the lesson, James whispered to Evan, “I hate potions.”
“Do you?” Evan replied, clearly surprised.
“Yes. You?”
“Quite. I just find it strange that Fleamont Potter’s son hates potions.”
James ignored the comment about his father, “Can we just ignore the lesson together?”
Evan reached into his bag, pulling out a crumpled piece of parchment, and wrote ‘ sure.’
James smiled as Evan laid the parchment between them, he grabbed Evan’s quill from his hand and wrote:
So why are you sitting alone?
My friends wanted to sit together. You know Sirius’ little brother?
Regulus? I know of him, we haven’t spoken much.
I imagine not, considering. Anyway, he gets really nervous when he has to be alone with people he doesn’t know well. Trust issues and all that, I suppose, so I gave up my seat so he could be sat with Barty, if you know him.
Crouch?
How many Barty’s do you know?
James shoved Evan’s shoulder slightly as he snickered.
Well it’s a stretch to say I even know one. So, what? Does Regulus just know you’re the guy to ask if someone needs a seat?
What? No. He’s my friend. I heard him sigh when he came in and when I turned around I realized he didn’t know anyone else, so I just got up.
Wow. That was really nice of you.
What else are friends for? I think your friends are kind of dicks.
Don’t talk about them like that.
It’s true. You want to stop doing one thing and they’re screaming on top of tables and refusing to sit with you in class. You’re not their dog, you know.
I guess.
Whatever. It’s not my business and I actually couldn’t care less.
James was grateful that Evan knew when to drop it, he really didn’t want to have to defend his friends to someone he barely knew, and it also made James a little uncomfortable that the more Evan said, the more angry with his own friends he was getting. He looked up to check in on the class before going back to the parchment.
Ugh, I hate when he assigns these week long potions.
Me too, especially because if you don’t get it perfect on the first try it ends up taking so much longer than just one week to brew.
Exactly!
Regulus is so smart, though. He always gets it perfect on the first try and
James watched as Evan crossed out his own sentence and wrote next to it:
Regulus is so smart, though. He always gets it perfect on the first try and UGHHHHHHH
What?
Are you paying attention to class at all?
I told you I would be ignoring class.
It’s a partner project.
Oh, that sucks for my partner I guess.
I’m your partner, moron.
Oh, we are so failing this assignment.