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Noriaki wasn’t sure who made the first move. They both wanted it, so… If he was honest with himself, it didn’t even matter anyway – it wasn’t going to get him out of the mess he dug himself into, even if he somehow managed to slightly alleviate his heavy conscience. But he still tried to figure out how he got here as the hot water pelted against his skin; he had to if he was going to logic his way into a passable explanation, had to understand what had gotten into them both. He stared at the tiles in front of him, unseeing, and weak, and disgusted with both of them.
It started out as a rather normal day, he figured. He woke up at 6:30am sharp – it was unusual for him to work that early on a Saturday, but not completely unheard of. He went to the bathroom, filled his cat’s bowl with food and the other one with water for when she woke up. Had coffee. He didn’t shower that morning, because he already did last night, and he knew today was going to be strenuous and have him sweating anyway. Maybe that deviation from his routine was the first mistake he made.
His current project had him carving a statue of an abstract being from marble; it was a new artistic avenue, different from the oil paintings he usually created, and the material was certainly a lot pricier, but his sponsor had faith in his abilities. And with Hierophant, he already had the perfect model. He thought about using Star Platinum as inspiration – he was more obviously humanoid, but still abstract enough – but decided against it, mainly due to the fact that Jotaro would probably refuse anyway. Not only was he uncomfortable with having any part of his existence put on public display for other people to perceive, but he would also have to accompany him to each and every session since Stands didn’t exactly show up on normal photographs and he’d need a reference. With a wife and kid at home and not one, but two jobs, he would hardly find the time, even if he was willing.
Noriaki smiled at the thought of his best friend. It had been 8 and a half years since Cairo, and Jotaro still cared enough to find the time in his extremely busy life to come see Noriaki about once a week. Jotaro and Marina had an agreement that he’d take care of Jolyne on Friday nights to give her a well-deserved break, and she’d do the same for him on Saturday nights so he could hang out with Noriaki. He even had his own toothbrush and towel in the guest bathroom, and a change of clothes in his drawer, just in case he decided to stay over and drive back the next morning. Sunday afternoons were, apparently, for spending time with Jolyne as a family, so he never stayed long even when he did sleep over, but Noriaki was more than okay with that. He adored Jolyne, and it made him happy to see Jotaro act like the father he himself never had, but wished he did. The kind of father who made time to know his kid despite how busy he was. The redhead had wondered more than once when Jotaro and Marina found time to spend together as a couple, though. He’d suggested to Jotaro that they didn’t have to spend every Saturday night together, but was shut down promptly, with Jotaro grumbling about how Noriaki was much more fun anyway. That was the first inkling he got that things between the married couple were more tense than he thought. The second mistake he made was trying to ignore how that made him so selfishly happy.
The redhead wasn’t an idiot. He was bad at feelings, true, but he was smart enough to know when he felt something, at least. Even if he refused to name it. And he knew he felt something for Jotaro since pretty much the first day they met. Polnareff knew about his crush and used to tease him about it relentlessly – before Jotaro knocked up his classmate in college and got married and the something he felt got kind of pathetic – but Noriaki figured that Polnareff hadn’t had the experience of being carried off on Jotaro’s shoulder to awaken with the handsome man’s hands cradling his face, staring intently in his eyes, and casually saving his life. If he had, he'd get it. But it really was pathetic, how hard he held on, even if he wished to every entity out there that he didn’t, and so he tried not to. Because it wasn’t only pathetic; it was downright painful. The day Jotaro announced his engagement, he truly wished Dio had finished the job back in Egypt. The day he got married, and Noriaki had to smile through the whole ordeal and stand up there next to him as his best man, he wondered if perhaps he had died and was in hell after all.
But he’d gotten good at it, he thought. He’d gotten fantastic at repressing his feelings and just enjoyed introducing Jotaro to his newest video games, and arguing about what they should have for dinner when he was over and listening to him rambling about his latest research project and how good Jolyne had gotten at drawing and coloring ever since Noriaki started practicing with her. Well, as good as a 5-year-old could be. If the redhead noticed that his best friend never talked about his wife, or that if he did, all he did was complain, he chose not to comment. He couldn’t help that he felt lots of complicated somethings about that though. Perhaps his third mistake was that he’d gotten complacent; he’d lulled himself into a false sense of security and had started doing a really bad job of locking these feelings up somewhere they’d never see the light of day.
Which was what ultimately led to his final and biggest mistake.
After he’d come home, he’d taken a long bath, complete with bubbles and candles. Every now and then, he needed to spoil himself a little, and after running around all morning to meet with his sponsor, discuss final details of the project, get his studio set up with everything he needed to begin his carving, lugging around equipment and helping the delivery workers haul the small but heavy slab of stone inside and upstairs – because of course there were no elevators – he really, really needed to do something relaxing, something that would ease the strain he’d put on his still somewhat delicate body, and after taking a nice bath, he was the closest he’d ever get to relaxed. He was so engrossed in his book that he forgot the time, and only realized that Jotaro was already there when he knocked on the bathroom door.
“Nori? Are you in there?” He sounded slightly panicked. Well, to Noriaki at least, because he never had trouble hearing the slight nuances in his voice betraying Jotaro’s emotional state. He probably thought something had happened when the redhead didn’t open the front door when he rang the bell, so Noriaki was quick to reply.
“Yeah, sorry, I’ll be out in a minute!”
He got out of the bathtub as fast as he could without slipping, drying his hair just enough so it wasn’t dripping wet anymore and using another towel to wrap around his waist.
“Sorry,” he breathed as he rushed out of the door and peeked into the living room, “I didn’t realize I’d been in there for so long, I didn’t mean to worry you. Good thing you have that spare key, huh? You know I gave that to you so you don’t have to ring the doorbell anymore, right?” When he finally looked at Jotaro, he froze when he saw the way the other man let his eyes drag over his body. If he hadn’t been practically naked already, he would’ve been with the way Jotaro was leering at him, with pink cheeks and ears and slightly parted lips. The redhead’s face and neck were starting to resemble his hair in color, and he felt something like a pang in his gut, something like hunger, immediately followed by that familiar empty ache in his chest. Jotaro probably had no idea what power he held over him, or even that he was looking at him like he’d devour him whole if he could. And even if he did, it didn’t matter because he was married. With a child, no less.
“You know where everything is, I – I’ll be right back,” he stuttered out quietly and rushed to his bedroom. Noriaki always took great pride in his appearance, but he dressed even more slowly and carefully than usual, even though he was only putting on lounge clothes. He needed the room to breathe, to calm his pounding heart, to will away any inappropriate thoughts and feelings into the little chamber he was so used to keeping them in. When he came back out, he felt something resembling composed, or at least knew he was faking it well.
“Hi, sorry again, long day,” he said with a smile that turned natural fast at the sight that greeted him. It was hard not to smile genuinely when Jotaro’s massive frame was sprawled on his couch, holding an obscure art magazine, and frowning just slightly more than usual at what he was reading. He sat down in the small space left next to his giant of a friend and peered over to see what page he was on.
“Oh, that one features one of my pieces!” he exclaimed, excitement bubbling up in him and nearly making him forget the awkward encounter just a few minutes earlier.
“I know,” Jotaro mumbled. “It’s a good one. You deserve to be featured.”
This particular painting was a scene that was as familiar to Jotaro as it was to the Noriaki. Swirls of dark blues and purples flecked with gold and white made up a starry night sky; it was the kind of night sky which could only be found so far away from civilization that it felt like the whole world had fallen away. The sky blended seamlessly into planes of desert sands, adorned with the occasional rock. And in the center, there was an orange fire flickering, looking almost alive, with hazy figures gathered around it; one silver, one purple, one red, one emerald and one in the same glittering gold and white shades as the stars in the sky.
“Why’d you draw me like that? In those colors, I mean.”
Noriaki opened his mouth and closed it again at the unexpected question. The truth was, he didn’t know at the time he painted it. Or maybe he did, but didn’t want to admit it to himself. He just thought that Jotaro was... as bright as the stars they saw, piercing and dispelling Noriaki's endless darkness with blinding light; he truly lived up to the meaning of his tarot card and his name, and tried to capture him in shades representing the hope he felt when he saved his life. He deserved to be painted in colors that displayed exactly what he was to Noriaki. He couldn’t say that, though, so he scrambled for an explanation. Suddenly, he was just glad that Jotaro hadn’t noticed the tiny emerald tendril sneaking around his likeness’ wrist, or asked why their two figures stood closer together than the rest of them; he had no idea how he would get out of that.
“Oh, you know. I already used purple on Mr. Joestar, and I still had too much shiny, glittery white and gold on my palette and didn’t wanna waste it,” he teased with a smirk. Jotaro chuckled and shook his head.
“Yeah, I figured it was something like that. You’re too much of a dumbass to put thought into that kinda stuff,” the taller man quipped back, making Noriaki throw his head back with a laugh.
“Take that back, I’m not Polnareff!”
“No, he’s smart. Unlike you.”
“Fuck you!” The redhead was grinning from ear to ear and even Jotaro’s lips had quirked up enough that Noriaki could see teeth in his smile. “Just for that, I’m picking dinner.”
“If you order pizza again…”
“I will. With extra mushrooms, if you’re not careful.”
They sat there smiling at each other like idiots, thighs touching, way too close for Noriaki’s comfort. He could feel his heart pounding like the traitor it was once more; he was surprised Jotaro couldn’t hear it. He wiped his sweaty hands on his lounge pants before he stood abruptly. Space, he thought as he made his way to the kitchen drawer with takeout menus; he needed to create space. The open-plan design of his living room and kitchen allowed them to still talk.
“How’s Marina? And Jolyne?” he asked as he rifled through the folded pieces of paper, focusing on the task like it was the hardest problem he’d ever had to solve. If talking about Jotaro’s wife didn’t put things into perspective for him, he didn’t know what would.
“They’re fine,” Jotaro replied. “Well, Jolyne is. Marina is too, but she’s… you know. A different story.”
The redhead hummed and didn’t lift his head, still pretending to be looking for a specific menu. The other man took it as the invitation it was.
“I swear she didn’t used to be this annoying,” Jotaro continued. It was funny to Noriaki, how people had this idea of Jotaro as this stoic man who never talked about or let his feelings show, if he even had any. He never understood when Polnareff and Avdol discussed what an enigma their friend was, or when they acted astounded that the redhead could read him like a book, because Jotaro’s emotions had been clear as day to him from the start. They both just got each other, but funnily enough, had trouble understanding themselves. Maybe it was just because they were both wired differently from most people. Maybe that made them more open with each other than with anyone else. Avdol and Polnareff were different as well, but their brand of weird wasn’t the same distinct brand he and Jotaro seemed to share. There was no fear of judgment between them.
Except when it came to this topic. Noriaki would rather die – again – than open the can of worms that stored the intricacies of Jotaro’s compulsory heterosexuality. Especially with a kid involved, he didn’t feel it was appropriate to butt in, so he just listened.
“Her tantrums put Jolyne’s to shame, and she’s five. She knew going in that I had a hectic schedule and that I couldn’t share all the details about what I did with her, but that doesn’t stop her from throwing a fit when I don’t tell her.”
The redhead couldn’t possibly pretend that he was still searching for a menu. He grabbed the one for his favorite pizza place and busied himself with looking through the fridge for drinks. Beer for Jotaro, white wine for him. He couldn’t get through this conversation sober, he decided. Jotaro had been complaining pretty much since he and Marina started dating, and it only got worse with time. Who knew that knocking someone up and marrying them because of that would be a bad idea, he thought bitterly. Part of him felt bad for Marina because she really was a lovely woman, part of him felt bad for himself; another part of him was just really pissed off at the large, clueless man currently occupying his couch, and yet another part wanted nothing more than to run away with him. Or maybe jump his bones; or both. He still didn’t comment though, just silently poured wine in his own glass, and downed it before topping himself off. He then handed Jotaro the can of beer he kept cold just for him, and sat back down, menu in one hand and wine glass in the other. Measured, calculated moves. Nothing to betray his inner turmoil. He let Jotaro’s voice wash over him, occasionally humming and ah’ing when there was a lull, but never taking in a single word.
“Noriaki?”
“Hm?”
“What did I just say?”
Noriaki pursed his lips.
“Something about how much you love Jolyne and how Marina is sucking the life out of you?” He tried for a flippant tone but should have known better. If Jotaro was an open book to him, he was the same to the other man.
Green-blue eyes bored into his pale lilac ones. Lavender, Jotaro would call them. Noriaki never could decide which color the other man’s eyes were though. Teal? Seafoam? Turquoise? They looked like the ocean the other man loved. He also never got how they could hold so much intensity, but even years later, it still left him breathless when Jotaro’s sharp gaze was focused on him the way it was now. It made it seem like there was no one but them in the whole world. And that, in turn, made him feel like shit.
He really had gotten lax in controlling the something he felt for his best friend, it seemed.
“What’s wrong?” Jotaro asked, his voice deep but soft, and the redhead had to suppress a shiver at what that tone did to him. He could say it. He could tell him what he’d been thinking and feeling for years. It would require him to name it at last, but maybe if he got it out in the open, it would stop trying to claw its way up his throat and choking him in the process. Maybe he could finally move on and have a shot at a meaningful relationship with someone other than his married best friend. Or maybe…
“I’m just tired,” Noriaki reassured his friend with a smile that was as close to genuine as he could muster. He wouldn’t entertain the thoughts that were intrusively knocking against his skull. It wasn’t a lie either. He really was exhausted from his long day, and even more so ever since Jotaro started talking about his relationship. “Like I said, I had a long day. And I’m hungry, so give me a minute to call and order, okay?”
Jotaro’s piercing stare didn’t leave him, but he nodded, which gave Noriaki the opportunity to escape those eyes burning him up from the inside. He downed the rest of his glass as he dialed and poured himself another one while he waited for someone to pick up. He didn’t end up ordering extra mushrooms.
The break in the previous conversation made it so the topic of Jotaro resenting his wife more and more as their marriage continued was laid to rest, at least for the moment. The redhead really wanted to feel bad about denying his best friend the opportunity to vent, but he mostly felt relieved as they shifted to talking about what their work week had been like. He told Jotaro about the new project and how nervous, but excited he was to explore a whole new world of artistic expression, and Jotaro told him about how his research into ways of reviving coral reefs was coming along. It was slightly different from his beloved sea stars (they’re not fish, Noriaki!), but the passion he spoke with still made something warm settle and expand under Noriaki’s ribs. The Speedwagon Foundation apparently wanted to send him to Italy with Polnareff, too – he assumed that this was what he’d been fighting about with his wife. The redhead could definitely see her point of view, though; if his spouse left him and their kid for weeks on end, with no clue for how long they’d be gone, on some secret work assignment they couldn’t tell him about, he’d be upset, too. Except he was a Stand user, so there was no need to keep things hidden from him. This whole mess just confirmed for him that he could never be in a relationship with someone who didn’t have a Stand. He would always have to keep something of himself under wraps, and even if he could trust his partner and they believed him, they wouldn’t share the same understanding as someone who actually experienced the phenomenon themselves.
Jotaro was on his second beer and Noriaki was daintily nipping on his third glass of wine, because he didn’t want to get fucked up, when the pizza arrived. Jotaro scrunched up his nose in fake disgust when he opened up the carton, not even bothering with getting plates. Noriaki wasted no time grabbing a slice and began wolfing it down immediately. Maybe it wasn’t a pretty sight, but he was ravenous.
“I’m actually half-American, my grandma’s Italian, and I don’t love pizza as much as you do,” the taller man teased him as he picked up his own slice and took a normal-sized bite. Well, normal for Jotaro. Noriaki had barely swallowed before he replied.
“I think that’s probably why. I never got to have pizza growing up. I didn’t even know what I was missing until your mother introduced me to it.”
Jotaro chuckled, then sighed. “I miss her cooking so much.”
“I know!” Noriaki shared the wistful look on his best friend’s face. “She taught me so much but no matter what I do, I can’t get it to taste how she makes it.”
“We should visit her sometime.” A shake of his head, and another chuckle. “You know she told me not to dare come back without bringing you along? I think she misses you more than she misses me.”
“Well, unlike you, I actually call her regularly, so…”
“Just because you have a weird crush on her. I’m onto you, Kakyoin, and I’m telling you now, I’m never calling you daddy.”
The redhead choked on the bite of pizza in his mouth. He promptly dropped the slice he was holding – thankfully, the carton was in his lap, so it wasn’t wasted – and put the leftover food on the coffee table so he wouldn’t get spit on it as he coughed violently. Jotaro started patting him on the back in what he probably thought was a gentle manner. He briefly wondered how Jolyne was still alive, but while it hurt a little, it worked; his wheezing subsided, and he wiped the tears from his eyes as he felt oxygen fill his lungs again. Jotaro kept his large hand on his back.
“You good?” he asked, concern and amusement tinging his voice, and Noriaki looked up at him out of the corner of his still-watering eye.
When had he gotten so close? Did he usually get so close to him, and he only noticed because he was especially vulnerable today for some reason?
“I can’t believe you just said that,” was what he settled on, praying that Jotaro would chalk the breathlessness in his voice up to the aftereffects of choking on grease. He wouldn’t be entirely wrong anyway.
“Well, you do have a weird crush on her –“
“Not – not that. The… nevermind.”
Jotaro smirked knowingly and made a humming noise as he looked over Noriaki’s face, but his expression slowly changed until he was regarding him with same intense focus as before.
“But you do have a crush on her?”
“What?” The redhead let out a barking laugh. “No! Jojo, I was 17! And still in the closet! Besides,” he added with a roll of his eyes, “I only said I wanted to marry someone with a calming presence like her. How was I to know the only other person –“
He quickly clamped his mouth shut before he could finish that sentence, but he feared it was already too late. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks and quickly averted his gaze from the sparkling teal color looking back at him with raised eyebrows.
“Who?”
Noriaki tried to scoot away from Jotaro, but he found there was literally no more space between him and the armrest. He would have gotten up, but he was afraid that would be even more suspicious. Besides, he wasn’t sure his legs wouldn’t give out. They certainly felt quite jelly-like.
“Who?” the taller man repeated more urgently. He couldn’t quite decipher what emotion he could hear in his voice, just that he, apparently, really wanted to know. The air in the room suddenly felt charged, like it had so many times before, but somehow more so. Noriaki looked up at the ceiling like it could get him out of this situation. Or maybe Scotty would come by on a spaceship to beam him away. Maybe that’s why the atmosphere around them was crackling. Or maybe he’d just gotten really bad at lying to himself.
“Polnareff. What can I say, I like’em dumb but sweet. Makes me feel all superior.” There. An obvious lie, delivered with his usual teasing smirk, guaranteed to get rid of that familiar tension in the room that seemed to envelope them every now and then ever since they were 17 and sharing hotel rooms on the hunt for an evil and aggressively bisexual vampire/cult leader who dressed like a slut. Okay, so the tension was thicker than usual, but it should still work. He still didn’t dare look at Jotaro though.
“Noriaki.”
Suddenly, he felt a warm, large palm on the side of his face, turning it towards the man in question. The smirk still etched onto it slowly slipped away and his breath hitched, then became heavier to fill his lungs with any remaining air in the dense atmosphere around them. Jotaro was staring at him much like he had earlier after Noriaki had come out of the bathroom – like a starving wolf regarding its prey; like nothing could quell his thirst except for him. It left him gulping, almost made him dizzy with want.
One second, they were ogling each other, panting softly, and the next, that all-consuming tension surrounding them for so long shattered into bits. Jotaro rocked forward and their lips met in what had to be the hungriest kiss he’d ever experienced. He closed his eyes, his hands finding purchase on Jotaro’s broad shoulders, clinging to the soft fabric of his shirt like a lifeline. Empty-minded and operating on pure instinct, he angled his head so their mouths could slot and move against each other more easily. The hand that wasn’t cradling his face found the back of his neck, pulling him closer still before a warm, wet sensation on the seam of his lips prompted him to open up. When Jotaro’s tongue touched his, he couldn’t suppress the moan bubbling up in his throat, and he greedily swallowed the other man’s answering groan. He could feel jolts of electricity running down his spine and heat pooling in his stomach as Jotaro explored his mouth and let his own tongue tangle with his. The large hand on the back of his neck kneaded the soft flesh before burrowing into his hair and tugging firmly, eliciting another sharp gasp from the redhead. Jotaro’s other hand wandered down, first to his shoulder blades, then to grip at his waist, stroking over Noriaki’s ribs with his thumb and making him shudder. Without thinking about it, he grabbed and threw the hat off Jotaro’s head so he could get even closer without the brim bumping into his forehead. His touch drifted down to his best friend’s pecs, pawing at the firm muscle covered by thin cotton and feeling his rapid heartbeat under his palm, matching his own. It was only when Jotaro’s hand trekked further south over his hip and began squeezing his thigh that the redhead remembered who he was, and who the other man was, and that they really shouldn’t be doing this. He used every ounce of his willpower to pull away, almost getting weak again when he noticed the string of saliva still connecting them. He closed his eyes against the sinful image that was presented to him once he’d created more distance; Jotaro with blown pupils and pink cheeks, body heaving with his labored breathing, lips plumper than usual and shiny with the spit they just swapped. He looked as wrecked with desire as Noriaki felt.
“Stop,” he whispered shakily. “We can’t , we – you’re married, for fuck’s sake!”
“I know,” Jotaro whispered back. He still sounded too close, but the redhead couldn’t get further away without toppling off the couch.
“Then what the fuck are we doing?” Noriaki stood on wobbly legs, creating some much-needed space. He looked down at the man whose tongue had just been jammed down his throat. The married man. With a daughter.
“I –“ Jotaro sighed, throwing his head back to rest on the back of the couch and burying his face in his hands. “Fuck.”
“Fuck indeed,” Noriaki replied coolly. He squeezed his eyes shut once more – as if that would make the situation go away – and exhaled hard a couple of times. The room was silent aside from their breathing, which was still too hard and fast to pass as normal. This was…
“We’ll just pretend this never happened,” he mused out loud and opened his eyes so he could gauge Jotaro’s response better. “This – it’s bad, sure, but it’s not completely unforgiveable, right?”
“Right.” Jotaro was quiet for a moment before he met Noriaki’s gaze with something mirroring the same something that constantly made him ache for the other man. The redhead didn’t like how much he loved it. He could still feel the phantoms of his touch, and thrums of unbridled want under his skin; his body screamed at him to just give in, but he held onto the thin thread of self-control he could still muster. And that look had him white-knuckling it.
“Whatever you’re gonna say –“
“What if I want to do something unforgiveable though?”
And with that, Noriaki was a goner.
He let Jotaro grab his hand and pull him down onto his lap. He inhaled sharply and let their lips meet, and he let all the longing and craving and frustration and heartache he felt over the years pour into the kiss, into the way he forcefully rocked down on the rapidly growing hardness poking into his ass when his long legs straddled Jotaro’s strong thighs.
“Nori,” Jotaro gasped against his mouth, digging his fingers into the soft flesh of his hips before moving them to the ass grinding against his length, and squeezed. “Nori, I’ve wanted this for so long,” he continued as he pushed his own hips up, eliciting a soft moan from the redhead.
“You could’ve been having this for years, you fucking moron,” came Noriaki’s winded reply. He tried connecting their mouths again, but Jotaro wasn’t done talking, apparently.
“I know, I’m –“
“Just shut up and kiss me, asshole,” he growled and licked into the other man’s mouth. Jotaro reciprocated with fervor, sucking on his tongue, and then caressing it with his own in a way that made his back arch and tingle, made him sigh, made him want more. His hands were grabbing at Jotaro’s shirt again, but this time, it didn’t feel thin and soft, it felt rough, and like it was too much, too thick, keeping him from Jotaro’s skin, so he pulled at it impatiently.
Jotaro seemed to get the message, or maybe he was just as desperate as Noriaki was. He bit down on the redhead’s lip as he withdrew, making him emit an embarrassing whimper that Jotaro, thankfully, ignored in favor of pulling his shirt over his head. Before he had any time to take in the vast expanse of skin, the other man started tugging on his own shirt, and when that was discarded too, their chests finally met. Finally, skin to skin and mouth to mouth, just as it had been in Noriaki’s countless fantasies, except this was better, because it was real. Their circumstances didn’t matter, didn’t even cross his mind; all he could think was more, more, he needed more.
Jotaro’s lips left his, but before he could complain he felt them trail down to his neck and suck hard. He cried out; his nails dug into the broad expanse of the other’s back, no doubt leaving marks.
“Sensitive, huh?” Jotaro hummed. His hot breath against the slightly wet patch of skin sent shivers down Noriaki’s spine.
“Mhm – oh fuuuck…” Jotaro had grabbed his hair and pulled his head to the side to get a better angle and started biting and sucking the delicate thin skin in earnest. There was no doubt in his mind that he left more than a couple of marks, and Noriaki fucking liked it. The redhead squirmed in his lap, feeling his own arousal impossibly heighten even more. He needed out of his pants, now, and he needed to get Jotaro out of his, and he needed –
“Bedroom,” he choked out. He tried to disentangle his limbs but before he could get anywhere, Jotaro grabbed him just below his ass and began to stand. Noriaki wrapped himself around his massive frame on instinct, legs and arms clinging to his giant frame while he carried him off like he weighed nothing to him; the sheer virility on display in that moment made him throb in the pants he couldn’t wait to get off.
His bedroom door was, thankfully, not closed entirely, so Jotaro didn’t need to find a way to open it without dropping Noriaki. He could just kick it open. He lowered him on the bed, more gently than the redhead would have thought with the desperation clinging to their every action and seemed to pause for a moment to take in Noriaki splayed out on the sage-green sheets. The sun was setting outside, casting the whole room in a soft, orange glow. Jotaro’s eyes were almost emerald in this light, with how they were shining as he took him in; Noriaki was sure he had seen that look in his eyes before, not just earlier, but whenever the redhead rambled about a new video game he tried or a new custom or historical fun fact he read about, whenever he muttered a particularly mean remark about someone who pissed him off, whenever he taught Jolyne how to draw certain shapes and match colors or played tea party with her. When he opened his eyes in the hospital after Dio and smiled in relief at seeing the other boy alive and well, he was met with this same look. He never knew what to make of it and just brushed it off. But now he was pretty sure he did. And he was pretty sure he looked at Jotaro the same way more often than he realized or cared to admit.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Jotaro’s voice was quiet as he admired him, his tone bordering on reverent, and it made Noriaki flush, made him want to hide himself. The feelings he tried so hard to keep at bay were scratching at the walls of the chamber just beneath his ribcage, making it burn enough for his eyes to water at what all of this meant. He swallowed a couple of times against the lump in his throat before he spoke.
“And you’re too far away.”
He spread his legs in invitation, and Jotaro took it. He lay down on top of him, finding his place between Noriaki’s thighs and propping most of his weight up on his forearms next to his head. The redhead hissed when Jotaro’s pelvis brushed against his stiff cock. Jotaro leaned in and grinned against his mouth, and then grinded his hips down deliberately.
“Ah, fuck –“
“Think I can make you cum like that?” Jotaro chuckled against his lips as he repeated the motion a little harder. Noriaki bit down on his plump lip in retaliation; and to suppress another embarrassing whimper, but mostly in retaliation.
“I had something else in mind, to be honest.”
Noriaki signaled for Jotaro to let him sit up. The taller man seemed to only pull away as much as he absolutely had to for him to lean over the side of the bed and rummage through the drawer there. He pulled out a half-empty bottle of lube and a condom.
“Ever done this with another man before?”
Jotaro shook his head. Noriaki figured – he honestly would have been pissed if Jotaro had opted to sleep with another man and didn’t choose him – but it still brought a grin to his face.
“Would you like to?” God, how he hoped he’d say yes. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Jotaro backed out now. They already sinned this much; they might as well go all the way and make it count.
“Good fucking grief, Nori –“ Jotaro cut himself off with a growl and pushed him back down on the bed as he crashed their lips together. Noriaki kissed back with urgency. His arms wrapped around Jotaro’s neck and trailed down, fingertips grazing over his shoulder blades and down the small of his back to dip into the waistband of his jeans.
“Off,” he whined. He was too far gone to be embarrassed. “Take them off, please. I want to feel you.”
Jotaro groaned again, probably a little frustrated as well as turned on, and reluctantly pulled away once more to sit back on his haunches. Noriaki reached out to undo his belt buckle and the button and then slowly pulled down the zipper. He let his hand press against the obvious bulge there.
“Big all over, aren’t you,” he breathed as he gripped the length straining against the fabric of Jotaro’s boxers and stroked. “Can’t wait to feel it inside me.” He didn’t think he had ever said something as true as that.
Jotaro replied with a guttural moan, getting off the bed to shove his boxers and pants down in one go and practically tore off Noriaki’s, laying them both completely bare. The redhead sighed when his leaking cock was finally freed from its constraints and reached down to grip at its base. His eyes roamed over Jotaro’s nude form, drinking him in; his whole body was covered in scars, similarly to his, but it only spoke to his inhuman strength when Noriaki remembered how they came to be. He absorbed the view presented to him; the broad shoulders he’d already clung onto, the muscular chest and abs he felt against him, already glistening with a light sheen of sweat. The v-shape of his hips, his strong thighs covered in a light dusting of dark hair, and, at last, he let his gaze wander to the long and girthy dick standing proud between those thighs, the head an angry shade of red and precum glistening at the tip. The sight made him salivate.
Jotaro’s eyes mimicked the same unbridled appetite he felt as they traveled over his own lithe body. Noriaki knew he looked good – what with all the scars he himself had accumulated, he took great care of himself, trying to control whatever aspects of his appearance he could – but with the way the other man was scanning him from head to toe, seemingly ready to devour him, he’d never felt hotter, both figuratively and literally. Being self-conscious about the large scar adorning his abdomen didn’t even cross his mind.
Unthinking, the redhead adjusted his position on the bed until he was perching on his knees right at the edge, looking up at Jotaro through his lashes. His teeth latched onto the collarbone in front of him, nibbling softly for a moment and then, moving up towards his thick neck, grazed over the tendons tensing just under the surface. He let his fingers brush over the star-shaped birthmark and gave it a small peck. Jotaro exhaled small, pleasured noises, and smoothed his hands all over whatever parts of his body he could reach, without a goal, just to touch, as Noriaki made his way back down his torso. He kissed and bit at his pecs, sucked his nipples into his mouth briefly, and migrated to his ribs, ghosting his lips over the thin skin stretching over them. He mapped out the lines of his impressive abs with his tongue, followed them all the way to the defined v-shape of his hips and gnawing at the muscle and bone jutting out. The taste of Jotaro’s sweat and skin was enough to make his cock pulse. He catalogued every small response, which spots elicited a sharp gasp from the tall man and which ones made him moan and which ones made his fingers dig deeper into his flesh. His own long fingers reached down to dance over Jotaro’s bulky thighs, closer and closer to his prize. He drew back to sit down properly and tilted his head to the side, smiling up at the man when he heard him exhale sharply.
“May I?” He teased his fingertips over the hot shaft in front of his face.
In lieu of a reply, Noriaki felt one hand bury itself in his hair and yank his head back slightly painfully. Lilac met teal, almost obscured by how blown his pupils were, and Jotaro’s other hand gripped his own cock and brought it to Noriaki’s lips. The smaller man opened his mouth up obediently. He teased the frenulum with his tongue and graced the tip with a few tiny kitten licks, lapping up the precum gathered there, and hummed at the salty taste. He’d dreamed of this so many times, he had to suppress the urge to pinch himself. He’d always wondered what kind of lover Jotaro would be, and he got a small taste of Jotaro’s impatience in the bedroom when the head of his dick was suddenly pushed past his parted lips.
Noriaki involuntarily moaned at the display of dominance, which surprised even himself because usually, he’d fill the more assertive role, but he guessed it was fitting that everything with Jotaro was different. He was the only person he truly felt safe around, after all. Eager to please, he started sucking, before pressing the flat of his tongue against the underside of the shaft, pushing the hardened tip a little more forcefully into the prominent vein he could feel there. Slowly, because he'd honestly never had a cock this big in his mouth, he worked his way down the hard length. Saliva was already starting to gather at the sides of his mouth by the time he’d fit half of it in and felt it bumping against the back of his throat.
Noriaki looked back up at Jotaro’s face, their heated gazes locked onto each other as he started breathing in deeply through his nose, relaxed his throat and steadily took in even more of the bigger man’s cock. Jotaro’s eyes were hooded and his brow was furrowed, his breathing turned heavy and his plump lips parted on a moan. Noriaki whined in response, which made Jotaro moan again and tug on his hair. Noriaki’s hand sneaked down to his own cock and started stroking it lightly, just to relieve some of the tension knotting up his stomach. He began bobbing his head in the same rhythm.
“Fuck, Nori… I couldn’t even imagine how good you look with my cock down your throat, and believe me, I’ve tried,” Jotaro admitted quietly. The hand that had been holding the base of his cock left to rest on Noriaki’s cheek instead. His thumb pressed into the soft skin there, obviously feeling how his length filled and emptied the redhead’s wide mouth. His hips began moving minutely. “So fucking good for me.”
Noriaki felt himself pulsating at the praise, at the gentle allusion of Jotaro fucking his face; he moaned around Jotaro and redoubled his efforts. He swallowed around his cock whenever it entered his throat and sucked as hard as he could every time Jotaro’s hips withdrew. He stopped stroking himself because he was sure he’d come any second now with the arousal burning him up, and he figured he wasn’t alone. It wasn’t long before the hand in his hair started pulling harder and Jotaro’s groans became more frequent.
“Nori – Nori, stop, too good, I’m about to –“
Noriaki pulled off Jotaro’s length with a pop. He licked his lips to chase any remnants of precum gathered on them, and his chin felt sticky and messy with spit, but none of that stopped the taller man from pushing him back down on the bed and claiming his lips in a frantic kiss. The redhead’s hand blindly searched for where he’d dropped the bottle of lube. He made a triumphant noise in his throat when his fist closed around the hard plastic and disconnected their mouths for a moment.
“You wanna do the honors or should I?” He held up the bottle of lube for clarification when Jotaro looked at him confused.
“Oh – oh!” Realization dawned on his unfairly gorgeous face. “I’ve never – I mean, I know the… theory, but I’m not – I’m not sure I know what to do,” he admitted sheepishly. Noriaki smoothed up and down the large expanse of his back, trying to ease the tension he felt gathering in his shoulders.
“I can guide you through it, if you want,” the redhead offered, and, when the tension remained, he added, “you won’t hurt me, don’t worry.” He smiled at the look of surprise on Jotaro’s face. When would that man ever learn that Noriaki knew him like the back of his hand?
When their lips collided this time, it was softer than before. Noriaki could still taste the desperation between them, but it had turned into a slow smoldering flowing just under their skin instead of an open blazing fire. Jotaro grasped at his arm and let his fingertips trail down softly until he reached the hand holding the lube, and gently pulled it from his grasp. Lilac eyes fluttered open and stared into glittering teal ones, heavy-lidded just like his own. The only sounds in the room were their heavy breathing, joined shortly by the click of the cap and the wet sound of Jotaro spreading the liquid over his fingers.
“Let me know if –“
“I will,” Noriaki reassured him. He felt the joy and love – fuck, he named it, but that’s what it was, he was so in love with him, it was all-consuming, incomprehensible how he could love someone so fucking much and he was so fucking tired of fighting it – and he let the love in his chest spread to his face and take the shape of a blindingly bright smile. Jotaro’s cheeks flushed even pinker than before and lifted in a dazzling grin reflecting the same vast emotion. It got in the way of the kiss they tried to engage in, but Noriaki’s expression quickly shifted with a gasp against Jotaro’s mouth when he felt a finger circle and slowly breach his entrance.
“Good?” the bigger man murmured, and the redhead nodded eagerly.
“Yeah, yeah, keep going – I’m not gonna break, just stop holding back –“ he interrupted himself with a small cry when Jotaro’s thick finger pushed all the way in in one go. Jotaro’s lips trailed to his ear and nipped at the lobe.
“I’m not sure what I’ll do if I stop holding back,” he whispered, hot breath hitting Noriaki’s ear and making goosebumps erupt all over his skin. The finger inside of him began to move slowly.
“Well, I,” he gasped again when Jotaro brushed against his sensitive spot, “I really wanna find out.”
Jotaro pulled back to study his face, presumably for any hesitation, but Noriaki knew he wouldn’t find any. He had never wanted anything more in his entire life. He wanted Jotaro to give himself to him completely, and he wanted to do the same in return. He wasn’t scared or nervous either, because this was Jotaro, and beneath the rough, imposing exterior, he was always so cautious and deliberate with his every motion, with every word he spoke, and Noriaki trusted him whole-heartedly. And this was probably the last and only time they’d be doing this too, so he needed to savor it. When his shaky hand reached up to cup Jotaro’s chiseled jaw, it was anticipation, not fear, sending tremors through him.
“Give it all to me,” he murmured, stroking his thumb over the soft, slightly damp skin of Jotaro’s face. “I want you so much, you have no idea, it,” he chuckled breathlessly, “it’s honestly a little pathetic, but I do, so fuck me already.”
Jotaro’s eyes widened for a split-second. He let loose an animalistic growl before he buried his face back in Noriaki’s neck and bit down at the same time he shoved another finger into him. The sudden intrusion and sharp pain of the bite made him shout and arch his back. He jerked his head to the side to give Jotaro more room to work, feeling him suck and gnaw at the sensitive skin, and started moving his hips in tandem with the other man’s fingers, trying to get more of him inside and rubbing his neglected cock against his hard abs. Jotaro scissored his fingers for a moment, obviously searching for the spot he’d accidentally grazed earlier. The stretch itself already felt like too much, and way too good, and when he succeeded, he couldn’t hold back the wail tearing from his throat. His hips moved up off the bed in chase of the sensation.
“Fuck,” Jotaro groaned against the juncture where his shoulder met his neck. He pulled back a little and watched him fall apart beneath him. After a moment of silently staring and setting him ablaze with the sheer want sparkling in those deep teal pools, he grasped Noriaki’s cock between them with his free hand and started jerking it, making the redhead jolt and whine. “You’re so fucking responsive, it’s so fucking hot.”
Noriaki couldn’t reply, opting to dig his nails into Jotaro’s biceps instead. Feeling how the muscles in his arm moved under his skin as he fucked his fingers into him and rubbed over the head of his weeping dick made him nearly choke on the heat building in his core.
A third finger prodded at his hole, wet with copious amounts of lube, and pushed inside of him as well. Noriaki already felt so fucking full. He was already gasping and moaning with abandon, and they hadn’t even gotten to the main event yet.
“So good for me,” Jotaro cooed. The praise made something in the redhead’s stomach coil, and he whined. The taller man let go of the Noriaki’s cock to touch the side of his face instead. He pulled him towards him and claimed his lips in a sloppy kiss. Their tongues worked together in a dance that shouldn’t feel as practiced as it did, but they were soon interrupted by Noriaki arching off the bed and crying out again when Jotaro’s fingers dug and rubbed over his prostate with vigor.
“Please, Jojo,” he panted, bringing his hands up to cup Jotaro’s face and force him to look into his eyes, to look at the desperation he was sure was displayed in them. “I need you inside of me, please, please fuck me already, I’m ready, I promise, please –“
A gasp cut off his begging. Jotaro had removed his fingers in one swift motion and sat back on his calves. Noriaki watched him tear open the condom with his teeth and roll it down the length bobbing against his abs. The redhead reached for the bottle of lube and poured a generous amount into his palm. He reached out and spread the liquid by pumping the impressive cock that – holy shit, that was about to be inside him, he realized with a pang in his gut. His legs spread further apart without conscious prompting at the mere thought, his hand with remnants of lube on it grabbed at his own cock and squeezed, hoping he could make himself hold off for a little longer like that. His eyes met Jotaro’s once again.
Jotaro grabbed him by the hips and pulled him closer, so his ass was resting against his thighs and his knees were bracketing his hips. He lined up the head of his cock against Noriaki’s entrance, letting it catch against his stretched rim a couple of times, and finally, finally, started pushing in.
Noriaki wasn’t sure if “overwhelmed” even began to cover what he was feeling as Jotaro, the man the cheesy part of him was pretty sure was his soulmate, entered him. If he’d had any doubts before, now he knew this was more than just a fuck to resolve the sexual tension between them. He felt like his whole foundation had shifted the minute their bodies became one. His breathing was harsh and his eyes widened as Jotaro’s impressive length penetrated him inch by inch. And he was so gentle, too; it barely hurt the way he’d expected it to, because Jotaro treated him and watched his reactions like he was the most precious thing in the world to him.
At least for now.
The redhead screwed his eyelids shut when he felt tears well up in them. He pursed his lips to keep them from wobbling. He was experiencing too many emotions at once, and he couldn’t discern any of them.
“Nori, what’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”
Noriaki almost laughed. Jotaro made to pull out, but he tightened his legs around his hips to keep him from moving. He opened his eyes to meet the sparkling sea of Jotaro’s regarding him with so much worry and care that he didn’t know how to handle it.
“I’m okay,” he reassured the bigger man. With trembling hands, he interlaced their fingers resting against his hips. “Move, please?” That’s the one thing he knew for sure right now; he needed to feel Jotaro like he needed air.
Jotaro obliged; he slowly pulled almost all the way out, dragging against Noriaki’s walls before pushing back inside just as slowly. He could feel every millimeter and it made his toes curl and a loud moan escape his mouth. The other man repeated the motion, again and again, and Noriaki gladly took it.
“You feel so good around me,” Jotaro breathed, sounding blissed out. His forehead wrinkled in a frown and his plump lips parted on strained huffs of air as his pace picked up just slightly. “So fucking tight and warm.” Suddenly, he thrusted forward hard, making Noriaki yell in surprise and gratification as pleasure coursed through him. Jotaro looked down at him curiously and did it again, eliciting much of the same reaction from the redhead.
“Oh, you just tightened up more around me. You like it rough, huh?” Jotaro grinned with wild eyes in a way that made Noriaki’s insides squirm with desire. In one swift motion, Jotaro pulled his legs up to rest against his shoulders and leaned forward, effectively folding the smaller man in half. Noriaki whimpered at the change in angle. He flushed all over, hues of pink that matched the more subdued rosy tone of Jotaro’s hot skin, and when Jotaro withdrew and plunged back into him forcefully, he fisted the sheets beneath him and honest to God screamed at the sparks of electricity spreading up his spine through his body from where he just hit the spot.
Jotaro himself moaned and did it again, and again, and again, pounding him until Noriaki became dizzy from pleasure. He both heard and felt the smack of their skin slapping together. He was pretty sure he was drooling and shouting every time Jotaro sunk into him, but the sensations were too good to be embarrassed about it. Judging by the way Jotaro sighed and groaned into the humid air between them, he wasn’t the only one enjoying himself immensely. When Jotaro leaned more of his weight on the back of his legs so he could reach his face to kiss him, he couldn’t do much more than open his mouth further with his tongue out to let Jotaro stroke it with his in a sloppy kiss.
“You were –“ thrust “fucking –“ thrust “made for me,” he puffed against his face. Sweat was beginning to accumulate on his forehead, dripping down to mix with Noriaki’s.
“Only yours,” Noriaki managed to agree through the blissful haze enveloping him. His arms reached up shakily to wrap around Jotaro’s neck. He let one hand scratch against his scalp and the nails of the other rake down his back as far as he could go, surely leaving claw marks in their wake, but unable to care. Unable to stop himself from relishing in it.
Jotaro was quite possessive as well, as he’d already demonstrated with all the hickeys adorning Noriaki’s body, and he seemed to like the idea of Noriaki belonging to him, because he snarled and renewed his efforts. He adjusted himself slightly and somehow managed to get even deeper. At this point, Noriaki was hoarse from how much and how loudly he’d been crying out. He felt his core tightening up more and more every time Jotaro drove himself into him. And when Jotaro grabbed his neglected cock, it only took a couple of strokes and thrusts for the staggering tension inside him to break.
Noriaki was torn between wanting to lean into it or escape from the intensity of the orgasm washing over him. His eyes screwed shut and he could feel every single one of his muscles seize up and then release. His hips jerked as his cock spurted rope after rope of cum over his stomach and chest, and his body thrashed against the sheets as much as it could with Jotaro’s large frame weighing him down. He was vaguely aware that he was making sounds, probably obnoxiously loud ones, but everything was muffled by the waves of pleasure enveloping him. It felt like forever before he finally came down, still trembling all over and opening wet, lilac eyes to look up at the man still moving inside of him, fucking him through the mind-shattering release he’d just experienced.
Jotaro watched him with something Noriaki could only describe as pure, enraptured adoration. He shakily let his fingers stroke over whatever part of the other man’s skin he could reach as the movements of his hips became increasingly erratic along with his breathing.
“Jojo,” he pleaded. His voice was quiet and rough from the dryness of his throat. There were still tremors running through him; Jotaro was making him shudder in overstimulation with every plunge into him. Tear tracks were drying on his cheeks. But he was a greedy man, and he still needed more.
“Come inside me, please. Please. I want all of you.” He did; he was aching with it, felt like he was starving, like he needed this to live. He’d never not used a condom before, never even thought about it, but he didn’t want that barrier between them. Not with Jotaro.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Nori.” Jotaro pulled out with a throaty moan of his own and discarded the condom, throwing it to the floor without a second thought. Noriaki immediately felt the twinge of emptiness and whined, but it was a small price to pay, he figured. Before Jotaro pushed back in, he adjusted Noriaki’s quivering legs to wrap around his waist as he pressed them flush together, despite the sticky cum drying on the redhead’s skin. He caught him in an open-mouthed kiss and resumed his thrusting. Noriaki jolted and whimpered when he felt him rub against his sensitive prostate, his spent cock twitching and dribbling a few more drops. Jotaro sunk in deeper and with more force, and the smaller man moaned at the feeling of him becoming even bigger and harder inside of him. His feverish gaze locked onto Noriaki’s as pushed in as deep as he could go, and then spilled himself inside of him with a drawn-out groan of Noriaki’s name. The redhead exhaled a dreamy sigh at the sensation and the sound. The knowledge that Jotaro was pumping him full of his cum, marking him from the inside, made something hot and possessive flare up inside of him. He belonged to Jotaro, and Jotaro was supposed to be his. Jotaro’s hips jerked as he rode out his orgasm, repeating his nickname now in blissed-out moans. The redhead’s legs clung onto the man on top of him tighter, not allowing him to pull out just yet even as he stilled completely.
Jotaro gently brushed his sweaty bangs from his forehead and leaned in for a kiss that was sweeter than any other they had shared that evening. Noriaki buried his own hands in dark curls and pulled him closer to deepen it but kept the same sweet energy. His heart was thumping wildly, not from exertion or adrenaline this time. The butterflies that he’d kept buried in his stomach for so long were flapping up a storm. He only realized that he was smiling into the kiss when he noticed Jotaro’s answering smile.
His legs became too weak to keep holding Jotaro in place, so he let them fall to the bed. Jotaro used the opportunity to pull out slowly and let himself flop onto his back. As if he was anticipating the protest bubbling up in his throat, he dragged Noriaki half on top of him and wrapped his strong arms around him. The redhead sighed happily and let his own arm drape over the broad torso his head was resting on. Their legs entwined; evidently, Noriaki wasn’t the only one who couldn’t bear to be too far apart right now. They lay there for a few peaceful moments in perfectly contented, satisfied silence. The sun had set by now, but the moon and stars were bright outside his window, so they provided enough light for them to see. Noriaki watched his fingers draw patterns over the glistening olive skin under his touch, utterly boneless, his mind completely blank for once.
“I didn’t even know sex could feel like that,” Jotaro broke the silence. Noriaki lifted his head slightly so he could look at him. Other than that, he remained silent. Guilt was already starting to gnaw its way into his soul, but he wanted to stave it off for as long as he could. They already did it, he might as well enjoy the afterglow to its full extent.
“Is it always… y’know, like that… for you?” The redhead could feel his deep voice rumbling in his chest. He rested his palm over Jotaro’s heart, feeling it pump steadily.
“It seemed… intense,” Jotaro added hesitantly. He wasn’t sure how much he should say. He didn’t know if it was wise to say anything at all, but Jotaro was looking at him, curiosity and maybe a bit of apprehension visible on his face.
“It was very intense,” he eventually agreed. “And no, it’s never felt like that for me either.”
Jotaro’s heart skipped a beat under his touch and then picked up its pace.
“Why do you think that is?” Large, calloused hands were stroking his arm and his back, gently drawing random patterns into his skin like he’d done to Jotaro earlier. He suppressed a shiver. The redhead was at a loss for words again. Did Jotaro really not know? Not even now? Short of saying it, how much clearer did they have to make that they loved each other? That, no matter how amazing Marina was, he’d never loved her, not like that, and that he couldn’t even if he wanted to. But it wasn’t his place to tell him. If he didn’t see it for himself, it was meaningless anyway.
“I’m sure you can figure it out,” is what he settled on before reluctantly disentangling himself. His conscience was starting to scream at him, and it was getting harder and harder to muffle the sound. He sat up gingerly and shifted his gaze sideways at the man sprawled over his bed. “You probably shouldn’t come back before you do.”
That made Jotaro surge up, a deeper frown than usual marring his previously soft, relaxed features.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
Noriaki scooted away and stood on unsteady legs, becoming aware of his own sticky mess drying uncomfortably on his torso and Jotaro’s leaking out and running down the insides of his thighs.
“It means that you should clean yourself up, and then you should go back home. You weren’t drunk, so you’re okay to drive by now.”
There was a war going on inside of him as he said that. One half of him was reassuring him that this was the right choice, and that it should have been his choice from the beginning, while the other half wailed in pain and despair, urging him to take it back and get back in the bed right now. He needed to create some distance, now, before the latter half could win again.
“Are you fucking serious?” Jotaro’s voice was loud, jarring the previously quiet, soft atmosphere in the room. He certainly sounded incredulous, but what was he expecting? What was Noriaki himself expecting? No matter the circumstances, Jotaro was married. He vowed to be faithful to someone else, and he trampled on that vow, and the redhead was beginning to feel sick with himself for allowing it to happen with him, of all people. Maybe he hadn’t cared in the moment, but now he cared even more for it. He started to shake all over, but this time, it wasn’t from excitement or mind-numbing pleasure. It was from the agony squeezing his heart. It hurt so bad; it was almost like someone had punched a hole into his stomach again. He forced his body to still.
“Deadly.” He kept his voice low, lest it crack or gave out, and in such stark contrast to the other man. But it was fitting, wasn’t it? Noriaki’s pain had always been silent. And now, he’d become such a huge piece of shit that he couldn’t even feel sorry for himself anymore. He turned his body away so Jotaro couldn’t see the tears gathering on his lash line. “Go back to your wife.”
“Noriaki, please. I don’t want – I don’t love her. And I –“ the redhead heard the other man draw in a shuddering breath before a heavy palm landed on his shoulder. “I want to be happy. With you. Don’t you think we deserve that? After everything?”
Noriaki shifted, his curiosity at Jotaro’s expression winning over his desire to preserve some of his own dignity. He looked shattered. Furious and desperate. Star Platinum was behind him, looking around for the supposed danger in a frenzy. The redhead threw a wobbly smile over his shoulder as the first couple of tears spilled over and made their way down his face.
“I think… I think people like us deserve each other.”
He slammed the bedroom door shut behind him without another look back.