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"Well that's one way to deal with aliens," Ben said, looking around the kitchen full of creatures of various shapes, colors, and sizes. Stitch gave him a narrow-eyed glance, and he quickly pasted on a smile. "I didn't say it was bad! Just- this has got to be hard to hide."
"It's kind of an open secret," Lilo said, patting her blue alien "dog" on the head. Stitch smiled at her, the opposite of the look he'd given Ben. "Everyone in town knows, but no one says anything, and they help make sure no tourists find out. Someone just had a mistake with the hair dye, or there's some weird native tradition or holiday that involves body paint and strange outfits. Like Stitch is my dog."
"Your... dog."
"Mmhm. A few years ago, he was being hunted by the Galactic Federation and escaped to Earth. He was hit by a truck and unconscious, and they figured he looked more like a dog than anything else, so he was taken to the pound, where I adopted him. That's why the Council couldn't take him when they showed up to arrest him. I bought him. He's mine. If they took him they'd be stealing and breaking the law. Gotta love loopholes," she grinned and exchanged nods with Stitch.
How anyone could mistake the blue creature as a native Earth animal was beyond the boy. With that color, those ears, and the awkward body proportions, he just couldn't see it. "Didn't he have six arms and antennae when he landed? They still thought he was a dog?"
"Hey, the way this planet is going?" Lilo shrugged. "They're finding more mutated animals every day. There's been cows born with two heads and everything. Who's to say a dog can't be born with six arms and antennae?"
Ben nodded slowly. "Alright. I guess I can see that." He took another look around the kitchen. "So I guess I'm not really needed here, am I?"
"Nope. We've got everything under control here. If we ever have trouble, we have the CIA and Galactic Federation on speed dial."
"You have the Galactic Federation on speed dial."
"Well, the Grand Councilwoman, really. She likes us to call once in a while to check in. I think Jumba's been shipping her junk food, actually," she whispered conspiratorially. "I think I saw cheeto crumbs last time we talked."
"Cheetos?" None of this was making any sense. At least that was normal. "Where did all of these come from, anyway?"
Lilo gave him a warning look. "They. Not these. They're people, too. And they're science experiments!"
Okay, officially no way he could salvage any sense out of this. "Science experiments." He wished he could think of something intelligent to say. Lilo was kind of cute and he was acting like an airhead. The sight of Pleakley flouncing by in a flowery dress and long wig distracted him.
"Yup. Jumba made them. Stitch was number six hundred and twenty six. He escaped and started destroying things because that's what Jumba designed him for. Then he got captured, escaped again, and came here. There was another incident when someone tried to steal Jumba's designs for the first six hundred and twenty five and more of them escaped, and now we've been releasing the rest of them one at a time and helping them get adjusted to society."
"Six hundred and-! And you're releasing them all? Are you insane?" Every eye in the place abruptly turned to him, and he gulped. He may be good at fighting, but this went way past his job description. "I'm sorry, but how do you expect to hide them all? This island isn't that big." He threw his arms out. It probably only took a couple hours to drive all the way around the island.
"We're sort of hoping we won't have to keep them secret that long. If we get people adjusted to them slowly, eventually everyone will know about them anyway, with no mass panic. We just have to be careful to catch anyone who does panic before they leave and tell everyone about it, and explain things to them."
The horde of screaming civilians Ben had seen on the beach didn't look like catching everyone to Ben.
"They're family, Ben. 'Ohana. It's wrong to keep them contained. Besides, it's not like they all stay on Earth. A couple have actually joined the Galactic Federation Police Force, and they travel all over. Most of them give us a call once in a while to trade stories. No one forgets their family," she said proudly. Then a sad look crossed her face. "Although we have lost a few. It's not exactly safe out in the galaxy."
"No, it's not." He took one more look around, did a double take when Jumba waltzed by in a tuxedo following Pleakley. Oh, he so didn't want to know. "I think I'll just leave you to it, then. I think you've got plenty of help here."
"We're all certified. Got the badges and everything." She hiked a thumb towards the schute to her room, where her badge probably was.
He refrained from sighing in frustration. Why hadn't she started with that bit of information? He could have saved himself a lot of time and confusion. "Alright. Mind if I borrow your phone to call my uncle? Mine got rained on and some weird frog thing knocked it out of my hand. I didn't think frogs even came in that color."
"Really? Where were you?" Lilo suddenly looked a little too interested. "Wait, let me get a map! I thought we checked everywhere between here and the airport."
She had to be kidding. "That was one of your experiments?"
"Cousins," she corrected firmly. "And maybe. We still haven't found all the loose marbles. Every once in a while someone pops up out of nowhere and we have to find them before they get in too much trouble."
"You lost them?" Oh no. Now he had to listen to the whole story. It might actually be more important than making sure this group didn't get out of hand.
"Only a few! They're not that big, you know, and they fell all over the island. They could have ended up anywhere."
"I think we need to sit down while you tell me the whole story. And how many of them might have ended up in someone's luggage."
Lilo paused. "So that's how Thundertail got to Honolulu. Inky, remind me to tell Mr. Bubbles about that later."
An alien that looked vaguely like an octopus tilted its head in what Ben assumed was a nod.
"Alright, Ben. Let me grab that map and we'll have a seat. Oh, first, would you like a soda? A snack?"
"No. No, I think I'm good with just the story, thanks."