Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Jean
It was today when Jean realized, in an always sunny city like Mondstadt, there were still some corners that were freezing to the bone.
She looked at the door at the end of the aisle, feeling shivers creeping up her spine. Why is this place so cold? Jean wondered if it was the residue of abyss mages’ power.
When she heard that her Cavalry Captain was attacked, she wasn’t that worried. Kaeya was capable, to say the least, smart, quick-witted, and calm when he needed to be. Ability-wise, he’s also one of the best swordsmen she’s ever seen, so, it’s safe to say that she’s not worried at all.
Therefore, she was shocked when the news hit her - Kaeya was unconscious. What’s worse, he was carried back by Diluc Ragnvindr, his sworn brother that hated him.
Jean rushed to the church, anxiously eager to check Kaeya’s condition. Sisters informed her of the captain’s steady outlook, but it was unknown when he’d wake up. They kept him in a small room on the second floor, which was rarely used since it was rare to have patients Barbara couldn’t heal right away. Besides, the Captain did not have people to take care of him back at the headquarters (Noelle was plenty busy already), neither did he have any family.
So, after a few seconds, Jean opened the door at the end of the aisle.
She saw Kaeya sleeping on the wooden bed, covered by a cotton sheet. He didn’t look hurt, more like he was just sleeping. The blue-haired man lay there quietly, only the tiniest movement from his breathing. Jean sighed.
It was rare to see Kaeya like this, unguarded, without a smile, not exercising his charm as a mean to get something.
Sitting on the chair next to the bed, Jean realized he looked like a stray dog someone threw away. She wanted to ruffle his hair - her hand reached out, but someone’s footsteps stopped at the door. It was Diluc, with wool blankets in his arms.
“Master Diluc.” Her hand closed into a fist, like a child getting caught doing something she shouldn’t.
“Master Jean.” He nodded.
Diluc’s gaze flicked to her reaching hand, then back to her eyes. He held her gaze like a challenge, or at least, Jean saw it that way. Turning back to Kaeya, she continued to lay her hand on the sleeping man’s head, lightly stroking his hair.
She could feel the pyro user’s stare.
It wasn’t her intention to provoke Diluc. When he first came back to Mondstadt, she was whole-heartedly happy. But he had changed so much since then. Sometimes Jean wondered how Diluc could turn into the way he was, distant and angry, but maybe that’s just the way of growing up – perhaps that’s what happened with him and Kaeya. The more you grew into your own person, the more distant you became from others, especially with ones dearest to you.
“Thank you for bringing him back.” She said as she combed through his hair, the blue locks thick and glossy.
“He saved me first.”
“What happened?”
Letting out a long breath, Diluc put the blankets down, “Sir Kaeya pushed me away when a Stonehide Lawachurl appeared.”
“I see.” A geo Lawachurl, in Mondstadt. She needed to regroup the patrol teams. Jean could feel a headache lurking. “Was he hit by any sort of magic?”
“The coma was likely caused by the abyss mages.”
“Do we know why?”
“No,” Diluc responded quickly, perhaps a little too quick, but Jean didn’t press on.
“Does he have any wounds?”
“One on his waist, caused by the Lawachurl.”
Jean retracted her hand from Kaeya’s hair, wanting to raise the sheet and check his injury.
“I’ve checked it. It isn’t serious.” The red-haired man interrupted before she could touch his waist, “-the sisters have tended to the wound.”
Jean stopped. Eyes remained on the sleeping man, thinking to herself, he’s always been possessive .
Even before their falling out, Jean could tell. Diluc used to be the center of attention; the youngest captain ever, he was approached by many young girls. Listening to their flirting words, Diluc would blush and laugh it off, while Kaeya would stand on the sideline with Jean, making fun of his rigid posture and lousy word choices.
However, whenever Kaeya was approached by anyone, and she meant, anyone , Diluc’s eyes followed like a hawk.
“I see.” She acknowledged Diluc’s words, but continued to put her fingers on Kaeya’s thin waist. She could feel Diluc’s stare.
This time, she intended to provoke him.
Jean wondered if Diluc thought he still had the right to be possessive. Ever since his return, he had shown mere contempt and disgust to the other man. She felt powerless whenever she saw the sadness behind the blue-haired man’s smile. Maybe it was her problem after all, trying to make everything better when it clearly couldn’t.
Charging up Anemo energy, Jean scanned the wound around his side. The room smelt of dandelion. Then, she let out a relieved breath.
“It should heal soon.”
Diluc grunted in response.
She put her hand back on her thigh, eyeing the way Diluc folded his arms in front of his chest. “Why were you there tonight, Master Diluc?”
“I had my own business to resolve.”
“Might I ask which business? Was it winery-related?”
“No. It was personal.”
Personal. Jean waited for more explanation.
“While I was conducting my own business, I happened upon Sir Kaeya, likely there to scout and gather information. He didn’t take any knight with him.”
Jean smiled wryly to herself. Kaeya always worked better in the shadow, while she was not. That’s why they worked well together.
That being said, nowadays, Diluc seemed to steer into the shadow more often than not. Though still working at Angel’s Share regularly, he seemed to isolate himself from any sense of community. The bar merely served the purpose of info collecting – and, to maintain a façade of normality. Just like how Kaeya would say, “He seems to be living in a world of his own”.
“I see. Once again, thank you for taking him back, Master Diluc. Captain Kaeya is the heart of the knights, I wouldn’t know how to act without him.”
“Good thing that I brought him back, then.” She could feel the anger seeping through his words. Was it jealousy ? Could you want someone with so much disgust? Jean could never clearly grasp their relationship.
“If we are in need of your help-”
“-please don’t hesitate.”
Jean nodded.
“And, please put these blankets on him.” Diluc scanned the rarely used room as he pointed at the blankets. “The room is awful.”
“I know.” Jean almost laughed.
“I’ll be taking my leave now.”
He looked in Kaeya’s direction, before bidding a short goodbye to Jean. She noted how he stayed by the doorframe throughout the conversation, as if there was an invisible thread between them.
Diluc’s footsteps slowly faded, leaving her with Kaeya’s almost inaudible breathing.
✦
Jean was busy. Unfortunately, busier than ever, since her reliable (sometimes lazy) right-hand man went into a long sleep. It had only been a week, but it felt like a month or a season.
The Acting Grand Master woke up from her office desk, realizing it was already morning. What time did she fall asleep? Three? Gentle sunlight bounced off the back of her neck, drawing her consciousness out of slumber. Hearing ruffling sounds nearby, she quickly raised her head.
“Oh! Sorry, Master Jean, did… did I wake you?” Mondstadt’s best maid looked at her with red cheeks, dropping a heavy pile of paperwork on the empty table. With her immaculate strength, the papers looked as light as feather.
“You didn’t, Noelle.” She smiled at her, “What time is it?”
“It’s nine in the morning.”
“I slept too long.” She pressed her fingers to a side of her temple, rubbing the sleepiness away. “Oh, and I should go see Kaeya today.”
“You need more rest to take on a new day, Master Jean.” Noelle replied as she picked up some disarrayed documents on her desk. “Speaking of Sir Kaeya, has his condition improved?”
Jean shook her head, “I haven’t had the chance to visit him for the past week, but I heard there haven’t been many changes to his state.”
“Oh,” Noelle slumped like a shriveled flower, “at least Master Diluc’s there to take care of him.”
The anemo user blinked a few times before questioning, “Master Diluc?”
“Yes! I helped deliver packages to the church every day around seven in the morning, and I remember seeing him visit the church for the past week. Isn’t it great? I heard he was the closest thing to family to Sir Kaeya.”
“Yes, you’re right.” Those words stung Jean in a way Noelle could not have realized. “Is he there today?”
The maid nodded in response, watching Jean put her hair down, then roughly tie it back to a ponytail again, fingers searching for the stray locks of blond strands.
✦
What made Jean the most adequate for the role of Acting Grand Master? Varka said it was of her vigilance, so she believed him. However, being vigilant wasn’t only about hard work, it required one’s ability to take things in moderation.
For example, though rarely showing, Jean desired many things. The first thing was to mend a relationship – the one between her and her sister. But her duties came first, before anything else, only allowing herself to indulge within limits.
It's the same with her Cavalry Captain. Though not able to see them often, she considered Kaeya and Diluc her childhood friends. And after Master Crepus’ death, Kaeya was utterly…… alone. Jean wanted to reach out, tell him how much she cared, lend a shoulder if he needed it, but it was not her place to help.
Responsibility was vital, hence, other things should be adjusted in proportions.
The door was opened, she could see the red-haired man sitting there, not noticing her gradual arrival. She let out a long breath quietly.
“Greetings, Master Diluc.”
“Morning, Master Jean.” He nodded at her, then quickly turned his gaze back toward the sleeping man. Never in the mood for small talk.
“How is he?”
“I know only as much as you do.” He shrugged in a deliberate way.
She swallowed, “It’s kind of you to visit him.”
“…of course. I am responsible for Sir Kaeya’s injury.”
“It was not anyone’s fault.”
“Well, if we must hold someone accountable, I believe Sir Kaeya should be blamed for his reckless behavior.”
Jean blinked at his words.
Diluc explained, “Sir Kaeya works alone, as I’m sure you must be aware of. This very fact has led us here, to him, on this bed. If he had brought more men with him that night, this may not be the outcome.”
“You must not be saying it’s the knights’ fault?”
“If it wasn’t implied well, I certainly am. The Knights of Favonius… always so inefficient.” The pyro user shook his head.
Anger came to her like a rushing train, so sudden and impactful. Jean was good at tolerating and making compromises, like allowing the Fatui into Mondstadt. But this was different. She didn’t owe Diluc anything – Diluc didn’t even want her pity.
“I don’t control what you say in front of others, Master Diluc, but you don’t get to speak ill of the knights in front of my face.” Hands slightly trembled, long since the last time she snapped, “Just because you disrespect Sir Kaeya, doesn’t mean you get to disrespect me.”
Taken aback, Diluc stared at her without making a sound. She heard herself letting out an incoherent breath.
“What happened between the two of you, I don’t ask more than I should know. I simply hope you treat the knights with some basic respect, if that’s the least I can ask of you.”
“……I apologise, Master Jean.” Authentic, she wondered if he thought of the many times he humiliated the knights in front of Kaeya. Kaeya must have laughed it off. She missed him.
Suppressing the instinct to apologise back to him, she replied: “It’s fine.”
They stood there in silence, both looking at the sleeping man, immobile like a fine painting. Oddly, his sleeping face seemed more youthful, reminding her of a happier Kaeya. She was curious what memory the other man recalled.
“Did you notice anything unusual for the past few days?”
Diluc shook his head again, replied: “Well, he murmured something last night, but I couldn’t tell what he was saying.”
“I suppose it counts as progress. You said last night, did you stay for long?”
Pausing, he said, “only when work isn’t busy.”
I remember seeing him visit the church for the past week. Noelle's voice rang in her head.
Jean huffed. “The winery must be under the weather then, someone told me you visit every day.”
“I-” Stuttered, she noticed his face redden in embarrassment.
“You’re worried, about him.”
“About Mondstadt.”
“And him.”
Annoyed, Diluc groaned, “Treasure hoarders have been rowdy after the news got out. They may want to retaliate. I’m merely taking precautions.”
He had a point, Jean nodded. She let her Captain go about his matters in his own way, though sometimes, even she could not agree with his extreme (and reckless) measures. It wouldn’t be surprising if the treasure hoarders around the area decide to take the chance and end him for good.
“I can send some men to stand guard outside.”
“There’s no need. You need all the manpower you can get right now. I’ll deal with them if it comes to that.” He tightened the adjusting belt on his right glove.
Jean wondered how much blood was on those hands already.
As expected, Diluc’s battle skills improved a lot after his return; not bringing his vision with him, he still controlled pyro energy better than before. Maybe it’s because fire burns brighter in the dark.
“I’ll leave our Captain’s safety to you, then.”
Diluc scoffed, either out of absurdity or possessiveness, perhaps both.
“Do you think he can hear us?” she asked.
Silently, Diluc dwelled. “I don’t know.”
She walked closer and knelt beside the bed, “Kaeya, piles and piles of work are waiting for you.” like she’s talking to her pet turtle, she said lightly, “I miss you.”
Weirdly, Jean could sense Diluc holding his breath.
✦
When Jean left the room, the cold air in the aisle drew shivers up her spine. Only then did she notice, the room got much warmer due to Diluc’s presence.
Fire does burn brighter and harsher in the dark , she thought.
She wondered if Diluc noticed it, too.