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The closet containing the boggart rattled. The door began to creak open, slowly. You gulped, biting back the nerves that were already making your entire body shake.
“Just breathe.” Came a voice from behind you. Sirius placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Like that. Just breathe. Whatever it shows you, it’s not real.”
There were only a few people ahead of you in the line, all producing common fears- spiders, clowns..
It was your turn. Sirius removed his hand from your shoulder so you could step forward. The boggart sensed your approach and began spinning, trying to decide what to transform into and then…
And then your boyfriend was standing in front of you, flanked by James and Remus. All three were smirking. Then Sirius said, his tone a joking drawl, “I can’t believe you thought Redcaps were the same thing as Hinkypunks. You’re so stupid.” James and Remus both laughed and Sirius continued, “I mean I knew you were daft. After all, you really thought I loved you? When all I do is laugh at you and play my little pranks? Didn’t it ever occur to you that I’ve been toying with you? That I’ve been trying to drive you away?” He was looking at you with nothing but disgust and disinterest in his eyes.
Somewhere behind you, the real Sirius swore under his breath, but you didn’t really hear him. All you could see was how the boggart version of Sirius looked at you, like you were the punchline of a joke you hadn’t even known was being told.
You couldn’t even lift your wand, let alone cast the spell to repel the boggart. Tears in your eyes, you just backed away until you were out of the classroom. In the hallway, you turned to run back to the common room. You ignored the calls of Sirius hurrying out after you.
You made it to the common room before him and hurried up the steps to the girl’s dormitory, where you knew he wouldn’t be able to get to you.
You sat on top of your bed, numbly hugging your knees.
It wasn’t long before you heard Sirius frantically calling your name from the bottom of the steps. Hearing his voice just reminded you of all the terrible things the boggart had said, all of your worst fears spoken aloud for the whole class to hear. You’d never dared to voice those fears to anyone, not even Sirius.
“Please come down, please!” He yelled up to you, sounding completely desperate.
You forced yourself to move, descending the steps as slowly as possible, delaying having to face him. Every step made your heart beat a little bit faster, your breath catching in your throat.
What was he going to say? What would he do? Was he going to confirm that the boggart had been telling the truth?
When you reached the bottom step, you hesitated. Sirius started to reach for you, looking as though he’d pull you down off the steps just to talk to you, but he stopped himself. You took a ragged breath, ashamed of the tears that were still flowing down your face.
“Please,” Sirius said, and you willed yourself to step down into the common room.
As soon as you were standing before him, Sirius pulled you against his chest. “You’re alright love, you’re okay. Just breathe, okay? Just breathe. I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t know- I didn’t know you thought that- fuck- I love you so much, okay? I really do love you. And I know I’m shit at showing it, and fuck- I’m just- I’m so sorry.”
He pulled away to look at you, searching your face. “I’m so sorry I made you feel like I didn’t care for you, like I was using your trust as part of some twisted game-”
You placed a hand on his cheek and he closed his eyes. “I don’t always think that, Sirius.” You began, “It’s just sometimes, when my self-doubt creeps in, if I’m not doing well in classes or feeling down, I start to wonder why- why this creative, hilarious, beautiful person is with me.”
“I love you.” He said, cupping your face in his hands. “I don’t want you to ever doubt that again, okay? Please, will you please tell me if you’re starting to question anything? I want to know.”
You nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I just- I guess I thought if I did, then you might’ve told me that I was right to feel that way.”
“Never.” He said. “I would never say that to you.”