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It was common knowledge to not walk the streets alone at night, common enough to me a warning from parents to their children. It was common knowledge to never at any cost reply to a polite stranger waiting in the street wanting a chat, common enough to be a warning from friends to drunk partygoers. It was common knowledge to avoid this street at all costs, common enough to be a warning from the world to you.
It was an expanse of neon buildings with empty interiors, bright signs with beige walls, paint caking off with time. It was a street of lost souls, that’s what they said. A street, a city, a world for the lost. A street at the surface. A world behind the screen. A street for those who didn’t have anything left, not even their life.
Scar wasn’t one of those people. Not quite. He still finds himself walking the streets, though. The quiet buzz of the neon signs and hum of nobody was oddly soothing. He followed the rules. He hasn’t been taken, yet. He was getting more daring each day, each step he takes ventures further into the empty expanse of the neon streets. Most of the signs flashed blue, some an odd orange yellow. The sighs looked normal at a distance but upon closer inspection the words are not words after all, but clumps of lines that almost form an uncanny mimic of an English word.
Scar settles down on a bench. The odd blue light casts down on him, flickering. Scar isn’t here to do much. Occasionally he’ll see others. Wandering, but not in the same way as him. He never sees them twice. He can only hope they had a peaceful send off.
Something was different about today. The hum wasn’t quite right, the buzz of the lights just a bit off. The night was silent, it always was, but it felt restless. On edge. A prickling sensation crawls down the back of Scar’s neck. Something irregular, someone, a person. Someone who wasn’t another ghostly passenger that didn’t pay him attention.
He was being watched, the presence of another person sitting on the bench with him suddenly coming to his attention. Scar doesn’t look back. Don’t engage, that was the rule. Don’t speak, don’t look, don’t touch. The workers of this land will leave you be. The prickling feeling gets worse. Scar feels a hand settle on his shoulder and jerks on surprise. The people here usually weren’t tangible, much less confident enough to try and touch him. Even those who came to take them away, they never tried anything to do with him. Scar shouldn’t look back. As far as he knows, this isn’t someone, something he should trust.
The cold hand reaches up to grab Scar’s chin, a thumb swiping over his chapped lips curiously. The prickling gets worse. The presence moves closer. Scar breaks a rule.
“Well, hello there. You’re awfully close for comfort, aren’t you?”
Scar stares down at what appears to be a quite handsome man around the same age as himself. He has slightly wavy black hair, dark green eyes, and rectangular glasses. He almost looks human. The diamond glint of blue in his eyes is what gives it away.
“You’re new.” He comments, staring Scar down. “What are you doing here?”
Scar stammers in response, brushing his hair back with his hand. The man is still holding his chin, looking at him curiously.
“I’m an adventurer. I wander. I explore your home.” Scar speaks in a polite tone, trying to drag his eyes away from the unblinking stare of the man facing him. His eyes are mesmerizing. They shift from a dark, cold green to a neon blue glint with a tilt of his head. It’s unnaturally bright, too blue and too bright to simply be a reflection of the neons pasted everywhere throughout the street.
The man tilts his head the other way, not breaking eye contact. “You shouldn’t be here.” He drops his hand from Scar’s chin and Scar sucks in a deep breath, finally jerking his gaze away. He fiddles with his shirt, reaching a hand into his pocket to fish out a green colored glass crystal.
“I know. I broke my rules.” Scar murmurs mostly to himself but the man still adjusts his glasses, staring at Scar observantly. “I should probably go, no?” Scar begins to stand up to leave but a cold hand gently drags him back.
“What’s your name?” It’s an innocent question. Scar opens his mouth to answer before closing it. It’s an innocent question by appearance. Innocent on the surface but an answer will be Scar’s downfall. Scar counters carefully, looking past the man’s eyes and carefully noting every feature on his face with a soft gaze. He puts the green crystal back into his pocket.
“It wouldn’t be a good idea to answer that, would it? What’s your name?” Scar doesn’t expect to get a real answer but it would be useful to refer to him as something other than the odd man sitting next to him on the cold, cold bench.
The man in question chuckles, adjusting his glasses with a small smile. “You can call me Cub. You’re wise to not answer.”
Scar lets out a quiet laugh and looks away from Cub. “I’ve learned. I’m here to explore. I’m not here to stay.”
Cub nods with a hum, his face falling into a more neutral expression. “We don’t get many explorers. We don’t get any who make it out, at least. You seem to be faring well, though.” Cub brushes his hair to the side with his hand and yawns, the blue in his eyes ever more prominent.
Cub looks off to the distance but the prickling feeling on Scar’s neck doesn’t go away. Scar should leave, he knows. He should leave before it’s too late to try. The comfortable silence and buzz of streetlights is like a blanket. It weighs down gently, a false comfort.
“Scar is an odd name.” Cub says after a while, startling Scar out of his own thoughts. Scar looks down at his watch instinctively. It’s been too long for comfort. Cub knows his name. Scar needs to leave. “Then again, it’s not the oddest name I’ve encountered.” Cub turns his sharp gaze back to Scar. “The sky is becoming light, you know.”
Scar groans and buries his head in his hands. “Right.” He mutters to himself quietly, shuffling his bags around. “I lost track of time.”
Scar stands up, Cub doesn’t drag him back this time. He just clicks his tongue and Scar gulps, gathering his things as quickly as he could. Cub looks to the ground, Scar looks towards an exit.
He begins walking before being overcome with an urge to say something, a goodbye, a thank you for letting him be. When he looks back with an open mouth, Cub is gone. Scar wilts slightly and breathes a sigh of disappointment. He isn’t sure why, it’s for the best that Cub isn’t here to stop him. He was interesting, though. Scar hopes he sees him again.
He looks back down at his watch and his breathing quickens. Scar shuffles through his bags, glass crystals clinking against each other. He had no time to spare anymore, he needed to hurry if he wanted to live.
He made it out, just in time. He made it out, a few seconds to spare. When he looks back, the street is back to a bustling center, the signs a lively red. The crystals in his bag clink together and Scar lets out a soft sigh. (He ignores how the crystals don’t exactly sound like glass. That’s something to investigate later, if he even remembers.) The street looked normal in the day. It hardly captured the melancholy of the night, the eerinesses of the signs. He supposed that was the point, though. He’s gotten used to the quiet tragedies of walking that street. He’s gotten used to people wandering in and never making it out. The trampled over caution tapes tell a story of their own.
-
The next night, Scar steps back into the street. He takes the same path, he walks back to the same bench. He sits down, gazes off in the same direction, and waits. A cold presence settles next to him again, a prickling on his neck making Scar shiver. Scar looks over, locking eyes with Cub again. He smiles softly and raises his hand to wave.
"Hello there." Scar lets his hand drop to his side and tilts his head to look at Cub. "It's nice to see you again." Scar speaks softly, his voice filled with intrigue.
Cub doesn't respond, instead carefully looking Scar up and down before reaching curiously for the bag Scar had sat on his lap. Scar gently pushes Cub's hand away and Cub makes a disappointed noise. He finally speaks, a tinge of fatigue lacing his voice. "Hello, Scar. It's always odd to see a repeated visitor here. What's in your bag?"
Scar looks away with a chuckle. "A magician doesn't reveal his tricks." Scar was hardly a magician, but he's sure he would be regarded as one if people knew he walked on the line between life and death. "How are you doing today, Cub?" Scar glances back at Cub, his eyes narrowed slightly.
Cub yawns and rubs at his eyes, taking his glasses off with a sigh. "I'm tired. I'm doing alright, though." Scar reaches his hand up to pat Cub on the back before hesitating. He hadn't realized how many rules he had already broken. Cub looks at him expectantly and Scar laughs. He reaches over and pats Cub on the back lightly, a small smile on his face. Cub nods and leans into Scar. He was cold, frighteningly so. Too cold for a human to be, but it was already quite established that Cub was far from human. "It's been a long day. It's nice to see you here. It's nice to have some company."
Scar nods, staring off into the distance with a quiet hum. "Yeah. It's nice to have some company. Most of my exploring here is alone. I try to avoid others, but I've already broken enough rules with you." Scar really shouldn't be testing his luck. He didn't actually want to die, he didn't actually want to be stuck in this limbo between worlds forever.
Cub nods. He cleans his glasses, his gaze icy and faraway. "You might want to keep track of time, Mr. Goodtimes."
Scar blinks and the neon signs flicker. "What? Has it already been too long?" He changes his gaze to the watch on his wrist. It hasn't been that long. It wasn’t dangerous yet, not for him. It was all inherently danger, the caution signs a clear red flag, yet it was all too comfortable. He breathes a sigh of relief. It wasn’t time, not yet.
Cub shakes his head and taps at his wrist lightly. "It hasn't. I just wanted to let you know. I know a bit about you already. You stayed for a while last time. If you stay too long..." Cub trails off and Scar finishes the sentence for him.
"I'll be trapped here forever, I know."
Cub shrugs and looks away. "I'm assuming you don't want that to happen, so..." He lapses back into silence.
Scar looks off into the distance. This was the first time he had a conversation with anyone in the street at night. Cub was odd. Scar would've expected to be dragged to the other side for dancing on this line, cheating death with every step. Scar barely remembers why he decided that venturing here would be a good idea. Maybe it was the first time he had narrowly avoided death. Maybe that was the spark that started the flame of interest for the limbo between worlds. He looks back down at his watch, the second hand moving slower than the hour hand.
Time was odd here, Scar has learned. He reaches into his bag and fishes the green crystal charm back out.
Cub looks back towards Scar when he hears the rustling of fabric and clinking of glass.
"Leaving already?" Cub stares for a second and then nods, closing his eyes. "Ah. I guess it's about time. I'll see you tomorrow?"
Scar pauses and considers it for a second. "Yeah. See you tomorrow." Scar turns and holds the green crystal to the light. "It was nice chatting, Cub. Even if it was just for a bit. It's fun to have some company here, finally."
Cub nods. He waves a small goodbye to Scar and just like that, he's gone. Scar smiles to himself and closes his eyes.
Scar wonders why Cub even bothers trying to talk to him on his walk back home. He's sure Cub himself had things to do. Scar was painfully human and painfully dancing on the line separating the fragile state of life and the imminent death. Cub let him go, reminding him of his limited time with no strings attached rather than shepherding him to his doom quietly.
Scar shakes his thoughts from his head and lets himself drift into another repetitive day of work.
-
The next time he sees Cub isn't tomorrow like he said it would be. Scar almost feels bad. He feels worse when he lets himself slip into unconsciousness, steps past the caution line and into the empty street several days late to Cub waiting for him.
Cub’s attention immediately snaps to Scar as soon as he meekly walks in. His eyes are white. Scar ignores them as they shift and settle back to a calm green.
“You’re late.” Cub’s voice is monotone but there’s a slight tremor in it. “Four days late, actually.”
Scar blinks at Cub and his gaze softens as he moves to sit down next to him. “I’m sorry. Have you just been sitting here waiting?”
Cub doesn’t answer. He exhales softly and squares his shoulders, looking away. Scar takes that as a yes. Part of him is pleased that the odd entity he met in a limbo between life and death missed him. The other part feels terrible. The other part is wondering why, the other part is beating himself up for being late to something that suddenly felt much more important.
“I’m sorry I was late. I’m here now.” Scar tilts his head. “Did you really miss me that much?”
Cub moves his hair out of his face with a shrug. “..It was nice to have company for once. Company that wasn’t dead, yet.” He doesn’t look upset, not by the standards of anyone he would know in life. He doesn’t look upset, not on the surface that Scar disrupts with quiet ripples. He wasn’t upset, not exactly, but he wasn’t pleased either.
Scar nods and leans slightly closer to Cub. “I get that. We’re both quite lonely, aren’t we?”
Cub almost smiles, a slight quirk at the side of his mouth giving it away. He clears his throat and adjusts his glasses with a cough. “Quite.” He speaks bluntly. Scar laughs softly and rests his hand on the ice cold shoulder of Cub.
“It’s nice to talk to you, Cub. I’m sorry I’m late. I’ve been busy and it’s not exactly easy to…” Scar hesitates and Cub nods quietly.
“I understand. Cheating Death isn’t exactly easy.” Cub narrows his eyes and stares into Scar’s eyes sharply. “Most of the time, at least.”
Scar tilts his head. “What, do you have experience?” His tone is lighthearted but genuine curiosity laces the sides.
Cub makes an odd face before settling back into neutrality. “You could say that. Yeah. You could say that.”
Scar giggles and stretches his arms above his head with a small yawn. “How are you doing, friend?” He glances over to Cub and watches him yawn in return as he considers the question.
“I’m alright. I’ve been a bit busy recently. A lot to do." Cub drums his fingers on his thighs and stares into the distance with glazed eyes. "Not much time to rest here. I don't..well. I don't need sleep like you do. It's more of an indulgence if anything. It's nice to have a break once in a while, though."
Scar hums softly and nods, looking away. "It's nice to have these snippets of conversations with you. I don't usually see others here. Not ones that last, at least. Hey, aren't you supposed to be keeping me here? Not- well. You keep warning me when my time is close to up. Why?" Scar asks out of pure curiosity and Cub thinks for a few seconds before shrugging.
"Dunno. Feel like it, I guess. It's interesting to see you keep coming back. It is concerning how you, um. Get so close to death so often, y'know?"
Scar nods again and lets out a soft sigh. "Yeah. It's a long story."
Cub scoffs with the smallest ghost of a smile. "I'm sure. You don't have much time to explain it though, I'm guessing." He gestures towards Scar's wrist and Scar glances down to look at the watch.
"I suppose not. I'll see you...sometime. I'll see you next time, I guess. I can't really be certain with dates, I've learned." Scar waves at Cub half heartedly and turns away. It's routine. He fishes the crystal out of his pocket, looks back, and Cub is gone. Scar chuckles to himself quietly, and lets himself fade.
-
Scar settles into routine after a month or so. It's always short and sweet.
They chat about mundane things, how their day was, what they ate for lunch (Cub usually answers something cryptic. Scar forgets that he doesn't exactly eat.), interests that Scar picked up, people that Cub found interesting.
Scar still isn't quite sure what Cub is. Cub was awfully human in appearance but Scar could see flashes of something else beneath his skin. It was in passing. Scar wasn’t concerned about it, how could he? An odd appearance was hardly the most surprising thing in the world they stood in. He could hardly judge. He tucks the white strands of his hair away, ignoring them pointedly. They all have their little secrets, the only thing that matters is the scale.
Scar enjoyed the break from reality he got with Cub, though. It was a moment of nothing in a world of everything. Sometimes they would sit in silence the entire time, Cub leaned against Scar with half lidded eyes. His breathing was shallow and Scar could feel the cold air on his skin when Cub exhaled. Sometimes it would be more talkative, a warm buzz in the air as Scar went on about his new favorite thing and Cub simply listened with the smallest hint of a smile. Always, Cub would warn him just before his time was up and Scar would heed his warning with a smile and a wave.
The city in the Between was beautiful in its own way. Scar never dared to venture far on his own, but Cub would guide him through the twisted streets while they chatted about whatever interesting things they spotted. The disconcerting street signs and odd neon patterns were a sight to see. It was nostalgic, almost. Yellowed walls and ivy, shining neon signs and caution tape, wildflowers blooming from cracks in the sidewalk that Cub would trample without a second thought. Skeletal structures and crumbling buildings tinged with a sense of aging. It was simply a light air of nostalgia and quiet buzz of lights and gentle pitter-patter of rain that didn't fall.
Scar supposes he thought it would get more dark, more revealing to the concept that was a common thought in the real world. It simply got more beautiful, the deeper he walked into this maze of Cub's abode. There were parts that were clearly not for Scar's eyes. Clearly not for anyone's eyes. Scar would look away and Cub would quietly hum in approval.
Scar wonders what Cub is. It's an ongoing trend. He's not human, clearly, but he seems much more than any other enforcers he saw in the winding streets shepherding the dead to their seats. Scar doesn't dare ask directly. Cub is nice, no matter how hard he tries to mask it, but Scar is so very human and Cub has his life in the palm of his hand. Scar refrains from asking questions for now. It doesn’t seem polite, not in his mind.
-
When Scar isn't visiting Cub, life is boring. He picks up hobbies, he has a small apartment, he has some sort of job that he barely cares for. He spends every day waiting for the next and it's all blended into a colorful smudge. He goes to the hospital a lot. The beeping and white sheets and white walls are a bit too much for him.
He has friends. Well, he had friends. He doesn't mind if they're gone by now. He isn't sure how long it's been but if the enforcers of Death are intrigued by him, he's sure he's doing something right.
He should've died years ago. He didn't. A breath of fresh air reminds him of how lucky he is. A breath of fresh air makes him wonder if this is what he wants.
-
The next time he goes back to Cub is quite a bit later. Scar lost track of time, it seems. A little part of him is disappointed that he broke his streak of showing up consistently. Cub is waiting for him, head propped up by his hand. He turns to look Scar up and down with a soft hum.
"Hello, Scar."
"Cub! It's been a bit!"
Scar inhales softly with a warm smile when Cub gestures for him to sit down next to him. Cub makes a soft sound of approval when Scar sits down quickly and leans against Cub. Scar closes his eyes and Cub wraps an arm around him, supporting his weight.
"You look sleepy." Cub speaks softly and brushes Scar's hair away from his face. "Have you been alright?"
Scar nods, burying his face into Cub's shoulder with a quiet sigh. "I'm tired. That's all." Scar doesn't elaborate, instead vouching for cuddling Cub with a bit of sniffling. "It's been a long...well. Two weeks. I missed you."
Cub tilts his head and hugs Scar loosely. "It's not everyday someone says he misses Death." He murmurs softly and Scar opens his eyes just barely. Cub moves on quickly. "Why are you cuddling so close anyways?"
Scar blinks at him and snuggles in closer. "Huddling for warmth."
"You do know that I'm ice cold, right? That I physically can't get warm?"
"Mm." Scar burrows closer and Cub rolls his eyes. He can't find it in him to push Scar away.
Cub starts running his fingers through Scar's hair and hugs Scar closer towards him. It’s quiet for a while. Scar barely breathes, his eyes shut. He sniffles, breaking the silence. It breaks the comfortable silence and Cub looks at Scar, concern painted on his face. Scar tears up, furiously swiping the tears from his face away as he smiles. Cub worriedly wipes the tears from Scar's eyes, fretting about if he did something wrong.
“You okay?” Cub’s voice is gentle as he backs off and that only makes Scar cry harder. He wipes at his tears again, blinking them from his eyes.
“I’m good. I’m fine. I’m just- I haven’t had this much..affection. In a long time. It’s nice. Please keep doing it. Please.”
Cub nods carefully and lifts Scar back into a hug, petting his hair gently. “Okay. I can do that. Okay.”
Scar tears up again and buries his face into the crook of Cub’s neck with a quiet sob.
“Thank you.”
They settle into a comfortable silence that blankets over the scene like a fresh layer of snow. Eventually, Cub gently pushes Scar up and taps the wrist watch.
“It’s time to go, Scar.”
Scar doesn't respond, instead opting to slump back into Cub's arms. Cub frowns and pokes at his cheek.
"Scar. Your time is running out."
Cub shakes Scar gently and Scar makes an annoyed noise before snuggling himself further into Cub. Cub frowns deeper, fretting over Scar worriedly. Scar didn't seem keen on dying and Cub didn't want to break his trust. Cub didn't exactly know how to wake Scar up, nor did he know how to get Scar home. He pokes Scar again, grinding his teeth against each other as he tries to figure out how to do this. The solution seemed innocently simple, shake Scar awake. Except, well, Cub wasn't exactly human and Scar did look quite fragile.
He flicks Scar on the forehead and Scar mutters something in his sleep, shifting positions with a small sigh. Cub sits Scar up, grabs his shoulders and shakes him back and forth gently. Scar groans and slumps onto Cub again before blearily blinking his eyes open and recoiling.
"..Woah. Sorry. Did I fall asleep on you?!" Scar scrambles upright and coughs awkwardly, staring at Cub with a startled expression. Scar's cheeks are flushed a bright red and he stutters another apology before checking his watch.
Cub sighs quietly and adjusts his glasses. "Time is running short, my guy. You better get going."
Scar stutters a thank you before nodding and backing away. He scrambles and pats his pockets down to find a small, glass-like crystal. He fumbles and puts it in his mouth, shuddering as he crunches down. He’s gone in a flash. Cub closes his eyes with a yawn. He wonders what those crystals do. A question for another time, he supposes.
-
Scar is frantic when he gets back to reality. Frantic, embarrassed, he's not sure which one. Something in between. He's embarrassed that he fell asleep on Cub's lap. He's surprised that Cub didn't take advantage of that. He's frantic because he was so close to running out of time. (He's disappointed, almost. It would've been easier if Cub let him be.)
Cub is too kind to him. Scar always thought you could never be too kind, there was always something to earn from those who opened up their heart to him. Then again, Cub wasn't exactly human. Scar isn't even sure if Cub had a heart, for that matter.
Non-important. None of it was important, not at the end. A terrible feeling of acceptance boils in his chest. It’s not genuine. He knows it’s not.
Scar curls up on the bare mattress he calls a bed and hugs a pillow to his chest with a sniff. He can't wait to see Cub again.
-
He doesn't see Cub for another few days. It drives him mad but when he finally gets a chance to do so, when he finally gets a chance to step past the caution tape and warning signs that weren't there before, when he finally gets a chance to close his eyes and slip into nothingness, Cub is waiting for him patiently. He almost looks concerned. It didn’t look good on him.
"You really shouldn't be coming here so often."
That was a new line. Scar tilts his head as Cub scoots over to give him a space to sit. Cub wraps his arm around Scar's shoulder and Scar blinks in confusion.
"What do you mean? Do you not like having me around?"
Cub shakes his head. "Your company is lovely. But it's really not that healthy to be here so often. It hasn't even been a full day." Cub pauses, his eyes narrowing like he's been waiting to ask this question for ages. "Why are you around so much, anyways?"
Scar freezes. He looks to Cub and then looks behind him as if there would be anyone else Cub is talking to. He opens his mouth, closes it. He opens it again, lifting his hand up and drops it.
Eventually he settles for a mumble and a shrug. "Dunno. I'm in the hospital a lot." He doesn't elaborate more than that, looking away uncomfortably.
Cub doesn't push. He can tell when questions aren't wanted. He looks off into the distance too, letting the conversation come to a halt. The answer Scar gives hangs in the air.
Scar coughs after a while, breaking the silence. "So, how's it been?"
Cub looks back at him incredulously. "Err. We're just going to ignore the last question..?" Scar stares at him unblinkingly and Cub nods, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um. Alright. I've been okay. A little tired. That's all."
Scar scoffs and looks away. "You're always tired." Scar reconsiders his words and sighs softly. "Sorry. Haven't been in the best of moods."
Cub shrugs and leans into Scar. "Understandable. No feelings hurt. It's all good, my guy. I'm just worried for you. You've been coming here more and more often. You're well, hah. Literally and figuratively close to Death. It worries me."
Scar stares at Cub with unfocused eyes. "Literally? What do you mean?"
"Do you...Scar? You good, bud?"
Scar doesn't answer, instead opting to stretch and yawn loudly. He turns his attention back to Cub after a second with slightly more alert eyes. "Sorry. Literally?!"
Cub is confused. Scar looks surprised, a little concerned even. "Yes. Literally. Sca- Scar. You do know who I am, right? What I am?" Cub leans in closer to Scar, grabbing his shoulders gently so they're looking directly at each other. Scar gulps.
"Your eyes are white." He comments softly. "You- oh. I just thought- oh."
Cub laughs. He isn't sure what else to do other than laugh as he leans back to stare at Scar and his utterly gobsmacked expression. "Oh, Scar."
"You didn't tell me." Scar whines, annoyed. "You didn't tell me! I didn't know! I thought you just- I thought you worked for Death. I didn't know you were Death!"
"Oh, Scar." Cub repeats through giggles, watching the expression of Scar morph through utterly betrayed, annoyed, surprised, annoyed again, and finally landing on a disbelieving face. Scar raises an eyebrow and scoffs at Cub, a playful tone of anger lacing his voice.
"You- you mister! You naughty, naughty man! I can't believe you didn't tell me!"
"I thought you knew!" Cub practically erupts into hysterics while Scar crosses his arms and pouts.
"Okay, Mr. I-won't-smile-even-if-I'm-actually-happy-but-I-will-laugh-at-Scar-when-he-makes-an-embarassing-mistake!" Scar inhales and Cub cuts him off with more laughter.
"That is one long name!"
"Shush! It was an honest mistake, I can't believe you. You wouldn't tell me! Your best friend!"
"I thought you knew! I thought you knew!" Cub giggles as Scar grabs his shoulders and shakes him gently, the faux angry pout Scar was wearing morphing into a small smile.
"You're such a silly goose." Scar laughs and Cub stares at him with an indescribable expression.
"I'm sorry, did you just call me a silly goose?!"
“Yes. You are one! Mister! Can’t believe you. Neglecting the most important detail. I’m offended!”
“I’m the literal embodiment of death! I don’t know what you’re expecting.” Cub snickers, his stance relaxing. "I wasn't exactly subtle, my guy."
Scar rolls his eyes with a huff and looks away in mock offense. He has a smile stretching across his entire face now. Any sense of being upset has vanished. The question that was posed to him has been forgotten, just a wisp of smoke that had drifted too far for Scar to pay any attention to it. Nothing important. Not anymore.
It was a curious topic for Cub, still. He had seen a lot, that’s for sure. None of the repeated visitors tried to talk to him, much less explore. Much less cuddle against him, much less say that he missed the cold presence of Death.
It was in all honesty, concerning.
Scar distracts Cub with a laugh and a joke that is lost to the wind. Cub laughs back. It’s just another conversation between just another pair of friends. Just another snippet of their lives, deaths, lost beyond the stars.
-
“The stars,” Scar says softly, leaning into Cub as they sit on the same worn down bench. “are beautiful tonight. They look like your eyes, I think.”
“The stars are beautiful tonight.” Cub’s eyes trail to the sky above them as he speaks. “They remind me of you.”
“The world is beautiful tonight.” Scar whispers with a rasp. “You are my world.”
Cub doesn’t respond. He looks for the stars and watches them fade from his grasp.
-
Cub has wings. It’s an odd fact. Scar thinks they’re quite pretty. He isn’t sure why Cub hides them, but he doesn’t even seem to notice that they’re visible. It’s just another normal night. Just another night, except Cub had a wing resting over Scar’s shoulder.
It was oddly adorable in Scar’s not so humble opinion.
Cub was oddly adorable, in Scar’s opinion.
Cub’s wings are nice. He jumps when Scar points them out. Scar giggles. Cub doesn’t keep them hidden anymore, that’s a success in Scar’s book.
-
Cub wonders when he started to want Scar. Scar wonders when he started to want Cub, but the wondering is more of an anxiety in the back of his mind. He knows, he knows exactly when and how and why. It’s quiet. It’s almost silent, even. Another day of looking at the stars it is, he supposes.
“Cubby.”
Cub blinks. “That’s a new one.”
“It’s cute.”
“Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
-
Scar digs through his bag of crystals. Cub isn’t here yet, somehow. He’s alone. It’s not nice, but it’s not terrible. The crystals clink together and make pretty sounds. He glances up and Cub is standing in front of him, an odd expression on his face. He looks curious, concerned, determined. Absentmindedly, Scar feels an anticipation growing. He pushes it away. He’s sure it’s nothing.
The bag of crystals is zipped shut. Another day of nothingness it is.
-
There’s something in the air. Something odd, a tension that makes Scar’s stomach churn. It’s just another normal day. Cub is waiting, a ghost of concern painted on his face. Cub is waiting, a ghost of resolve etched into his face.
Something is going to happen, that is for sure. Scar isn’t quite sure what. Everything is so terribly normal and painstakingly put together that something must be wrong.
Scar doesn’t pay any attention to it. Whatever the world had to throw at him today would happen. He’s sure nothing would go too terribly wrong, not with Cub.
Cub is quieter. He’s always rather soft spoken but he is quieter. Not in a weary way, not in a thoughtful way. He is simply quiet.
Scar leans against him and lets himself relish the silence and close his eyes. Today wasn’t right. Today wasn’t right, and he knew it. He sits back up and turns to Scar, staring at him questionably. Cub’s stare is hard, and the sky around them is light. Too light, too bright. Something isn’t right, something is so clearly brewing and so painfully out of Scar’s grasp.
“Cub.”
Cub doesn’t respond, his eyes soley trained on Scar. Scar laughs uncomfortably. He can’t seem to look away. Nothing is right, everything is right, nothing is wrong and everything is wrong. Everything is so terribly perfect. Cub leans towards Scar, and finally, finally, Scar grasps onto the wisp of an idea of what was happening to him long overdue. He knows, as soon as the air shifts and Cub’s eyes focus.
Cub stares at Scar, an odd glint in his eye. Something shifts. Someone shifts. Scar tears his eyes away from Cub’s and stares down at his watch, the hands spinning wildly.
“Oh.” Scar breathes out quietly, his eyes widening. “It appears I have run out of time.”
His gaze darts back to Cub whose presence suddenly feels overbearing on Scar’s terrifyingly mortal frame.
Cub almost looks angelic. Scar laughs at the depictions of Death who make him a dark, evil figure. He laughs because his Death is beautiful. He feels a cold hand grab his chin and jerk his face forward. Frigid lips meet warm and Scar’s eyes widen as Cub pulls him into a kiss. Scar swears he sees stars as he crashes into Cub’s arms. Cub tastes faintly of flowers and cake, somewhere in the midst of everything Scar thinks about how it’s really quite funny that Death tastes so sweet. Scar pointedly ignores the faint sounds of beeping that fill the back of his head and wraps his arms around Cub, kissing back as life drains from his body, as the warmth of his cheeks grow cold, as the strands of his hair grow white.
"Aren't I selfish?" Cub whispers into Scar's ear, the cold from his breath suddenly feeling like nothing as the frost spread through Scar's veins. "For wanting you all for myself?"
Scar stares at Cub with glossy eyes as the beeping subsides into nothingness and all of a sudden it's quiet again. All of a sudden, it's peaceful.
"Yes." Scar breaks the sudden silence with a mutter barely audible. "Yes. You are selfish." Scar's jagged breathing steadies as he leans into Cub and murmurs into his ear. "It's okay. I'm selfish too. More than you would ever know."
(Somewhere far away, a brown haired man breathes his last breath. He lets his arms fall to his sides as his eyes glaze over, a smile plastered across his face as he sees something that nobody else can see. Somewhere far away, the beeping of machines and warnings subside into a terrible, doomed silence. Somewhere far away, the cold embrace of death wraps around a corpse. Someone closes his eyes. The hushed murmurs fade.)
Scar closes his eyes. The cold embrace of death doesn't feel quite so cold anymore. He lets himself collapse into Cub's arms, reaching for more, more before Cub gently grabs his wrist and guides his hand away. Scar reaches blindly down into his bag and shakily grabs a fistful of glass crystals. He doesn't care how the sharp edges cut into his hands. The crystals are gray, dull, absolutely useless and definitely glass. Scar drops them back into his bag with a resigned huff and his breathing calms to a silence.
"I'm yours." Scar whispers, almost disbelievingly. "Only yours." He turns back to Cub with a smile, the blush drained from his cheeks. "I love you." Scar's voice is barely above a whisper and he looks into Cub's eyes unblinkingly.
Cub inhales sharply and looks back, pulling Scar closer towards himself.
"I love you too." It's near silent, laced with confusion and uncertainty. Scar lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and nuzzles into Cub's chest, wailing as Cub holds him closer than he ever has.
-
Scar is dead. Somehow, it’s a pill harder to swallow than he expected. Somehow, it’s worse than the countless glass shards in his throat every time he goes home.
Scar is dead, and he’s not coming back to life. It’s harder than he expected to accept it. Death was inevitable, Death was a quiet presence throughout his entire life.
Scar is dead. It’s still a hard pill to swallow. Nothing has changed. Nothing will ever change, because the world is at a stand still. Nothing has changed and nothing will change because Scar is no longer Scar.
Scar is dead. That is all that has happened, and all that will ever happen.
Scar is dead. He has Cub. He has Cub, and he is dead. He has Cub forever, and ever, and he is dead.
Scar, is, dead. He needs to accept it, but it’s so much harder when it’s no longer just an idea dancing in the back of his mind.
-
“Scar?” Cub hums as he gestures for Scar to come look at what he’s looking at. Cub points at a dead bush, planted in sand. Scar rolls his eyes, an annoyed tone ringing into the air loudly.
“What are you trying to show me? A dead bush isn’t particularly special.”
“It isn’t.”
“It’s a dead bush.” Scar’s voice is hard, an edge of annoyance clearly sharpened and aimed for Cub’s throat. Cub doesn’t mind, nor does he notice.
“That it is indeed.” Cub crouches down and stares at it. Scar scoffs.
“It’s a dead bush.” He sounds almost defeated, jerking his eyes away from Cub and the absolute pointlessness of every single small thing he did. It didn’t matter, not anymore.
Scar leaves Cub staring at the dried branches of what once was life. He scoffs again. What’s so interesting about a dead bush? Nothing, that’s for sure. He would rather have been shown diamonds, riches, gems beyond his imagination.
If only those were things that he could still perceive, still have.
He supposed a kiss on the forehead from Cub was treasure enough. He supposed a simple gesture of affection from someone he loved so dearly was enough.
“I’m sorry.” Came much later, words spoken from Scar’s mouth with more than just a tinge of guilt.
“It’s okay.” Is the response, Cub’s eyes flitting across Scar’s lean frame and opening his arms for a gentle hug.
Cub was too nice, yes. Cub was too nice for Death. Scar accepts graciously. A hug is all he wants, a kiss is more than enough.
-
“I think I like it here.” Scar says quietly, leaning into Cub with a sigh. “I like it here with you.”
Cub hums, pulling Scar closer and brushing the stray strands of white hair away from his face. Scar closes his eyes, letting Cub brush against his face, flick at his hair, quietly examine every feature permanently etched into a dead man’s stature.
Scar exhales softly, burying his face into the crook of Cub’s neck. He wraps his arms around Cub and lets himself melt into Death’s embrace. Cub is still cold, unnaturally so. Then again, nothing about this is natural. Scar sinks further into Cub’s gentle grasp. Cub doesn’t seem to breathe. He doesn’t need to. The lack of a persistent thump of a heart beating is alien, but Scar can get used to it.
“I like it here with you too.” Cub is quieter than Scar. He holds Scar close and lets him sigh into the cool feeling of his skin. He presses a gentle kiss to the top of Scar’s head, the strands of white hair ever prominent. The moment is soft, comfortable, all too tender.
Scar melts into Cub and Cub is there to pick up what’s left. It’s quiet. It’s comfortable. It’s not exactly silent and that’s exactly how Scar likes it. It’s perfect. It’s peaceful. It’s everything he ever wanted, and yet a semblance of himself still can’t let go.
-
Cub loosens up. Scar thought he was already quite relaxed for being the embodiment of Death. He loosens up, though. He relaxes. He makes jokes, almost. Scar appreciates it. It’s some semblance to normal, some semblance to human. He didn’t realize how much he missed the simplicities of life until he no longer had it. He didn’t realize how important the little routines and schedules of living were until they were gone. He didn’t realize how important every single detail of living was until living was a concept too far away for him to even perceive.
At least he had Cub. At least he had Cub, a presence forever lasting in his life and death. At least he had Cub, a haunting figure in the world of every single doomed soul.
-
Death was beautiful. Death was terrible, Death was beautiful, Death was cruel. Death was Cub, and Cub was Scar’s. Cub was Scar’s, and Scar was Cub’s.
“What are you thinking about today?” Cub hums as he kneels down to pick out a crystal sprouting from the ground. He holds it up to the light before turning back expectantly to Scar. It shines a brilliant blue in the light. Cub pockets it carefully, pinning his attention on Scar.
Scar tilts his head, snapping out of his mind. “Hm?”
“You look rather lost in thought.”
“I’ve been thinking about you.” Scar looks away, rummaging through his bag for nothing of importance.
Cub nods. They move on.
-
Sometimes, it’s a day of talking. Sometimes, all they do is stare at the stars in silence, thinking of each other’s eyes. It’s everything to Scar. Death is everything to Scar. Scar is everything to Death. Every word unspoken, every gentle action.
Cub smiles. Cub laughs. That’s enough for Scar. That’s more than enough for Scar.
Scar smiles back. He always smiles back, a semblance of warmth on his cheeks. It’s gone in a flash.
-
“How are you feeling today?” Cub’s voice is soft. They sit together on a sidewalk, watching the stars twist and turn.
“I’m alright. Today is alright. As always. How are you?” Scar turns to look at Cub inquisitively, a small smile and weary eyes eternally etched on his face. Cub looks back, his eyes a soft white.
“I’m good. It’s nice being here with you.”
Cub sighs softly, moving a hand to wrap around Scar’s waist and pull the taller man towards himself. They look at the stars together, the ghost of a heartbeat quickening as they talk into the night sky.
-
“I was wondering,” Cub begins, running his hands through Scar’s hair while he speaks. They sit on a cliff overlooking a large expanse of stone ocean. “Why did you carry those little crystals around with you anyways? It looked like you used them to…snap back to reality. Of some sort.”
Scar hums and leans into Cub’s hands, his eyes closed. “Dunno. I still have them, if you want to see. They don’t work anymore though.”
Scar opens his eyes and stretches, taking his bag off and reaching into it to fish a small container out. He holds it bewilderingly and blinks at it.
“Huh. That’s new.” Scar stares at the medicine container he holds in the palm of his hand, the label rubbed off over time. Cub scoots over to look at it with him, his eyebrow raised.
“That’s not a crystal.”
Scar scoffs, frowning. He clutches the container tightly and brings it up to his ear to shake it. There’s nothing inside. “No. It’s not.” His frown deepens and Cub opens his mouth to speak before Scar cuts him off. “But I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore.”
Cub closes his mouth, looking away to gaze into the distance. The ocean of gray is as lonely as ever. He looks back to Scar staring at the container with an inexplicable expression and he pulls Scar closer towards himself with the smallest of sighs.
“I suppose not.”
Scar nods, a frown still clearly etched across his face. He stretches his arm back suddenly, Cub startling at the sudden movement, and throws the container into the emptiness of the scene below them with a bitter expression.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” He finally speaks, breaking the silent tension. “I don’t need it anymore. I’m with you.” His eyes are stormy, staring at the spot he aimed the container at with a conflicted expression.
Cub watches as Scar takes the bag he carries around and shakes the rest of the containers out too, his shoulders tense.
Cub doesn’t respond to Scar. He looks away, some semblance of guilt flitting across his mind.
“I’m yours.” Scar murmurs quietly, barely above a whisper. There’s a tone of finality to it. “Only yours.”
For the first time since Cub has met Scar, love isn’t part of the mess of emotions behind those four words.
Cub looks back at the endless sea of stone before them silently.
Scar looks to the sky, stars dancing and skittering like dots in his vision.
Scar slumps against Cub, deflating with a sharp exhale. A hint of bitterness, a hint of acceptance laces his sigh. The sky dims and Cub closes his eyes.