Work Text:
February is giving way to March. Winter is turning into Spring. The sun’s out more and it’s heating up outside. Which means more people wearing less clothes and this equals more incidents and longer hours for Manhattan’s finest.
“Uhm yes. I’ll go call him in now.” The manager called over his shoulder as he practically stumbled over his own feet to get away. Olivia and Fin stood in silence surrounded by the instruments.
Liv approached a keyboard on display, her fingers skimming the mechanisms before she settled herself to begin playing. Random notes at first but she soon found a rhythm, and began humming along to the music.
Fin came to sit next to her on the small bench. “I didn’t know you played the piano.”
Olivia looked up at him with a smile, fingers never missing the intended note, “One of the things my mother forced me to take.”
“Well, let’s add that to the short list of things she did right. You’re really good.”
“Thanks.”
“Okay, he’s on his way. And I remembered not to tell him you were here.” The nervous manager, Dave, informed. “You play well. Now your music just needs lyrics.”
“Thank you. I think I have just the thing.” Olivia mentions to his retreating form. “Wanna hear?” She asks her partner still seated to her right.
“Definitely. When did you write it?”
“This one? When I was home alone, wallowing in my sorrows, on Valentine’s Day.” Olivia laughed at herself but thought, Pathetic much?
Olivia takes a deep breath for confidence as she starts the practiced melody from the beginning.
I don't wanna argue
I don't wanna fight
Lord knows we’ve done enough of that. Olivia thought as she sang.
I just wanna know where you went
When you left me that night
I don't wanna be here
Lying on the floor
Picking up the pieces you left
When you walked out that door
Memories of Cragen telling her “Elliot put his papers in”, flash across her mind. She physically wills back the tears threatening to flow. Why would you sing this in public?
And I don't know why, but it's still open
You left me tired and lonely
“Liv, go home. You can’t work yourself to death trying to keep up with both of your case loads. Tomorrow, you’re giving some of his old cases to everyone else. And you’re getting a new partner, so you’re not out there alone. That’s that.” Cragen reprimanded.
And I can't believe I'm still waiting around
I don't wanna cry but you know me so well
I just wanna hold back, but tears, they keep coming
A few rebellious tears manage to escape down her cheeks. If he sees them, Fin doesn’t say a word.
You may not love me now
But at least you loved me then
“I’ll always be your partner, for better or for worse.” Liar.
You left me broken
The officers watched in unison as Olivia’s fingers danced effortlessly across the keys.
Looking in the mirror, picture you instead
And I'm still waking up on your side of the bed
Fin made a sound of thought, evoking a small laugh and head shake of denial from the singer. As if she heard the question on his mind loud and clear. That denial is a lie , but he doesn’t need to know that.
I've been having dreams, dreams in which you're mine
I talk to my friends and they say all it takes is time
And I don't know why, but I'm still hopin'
“Dreams you say? Like the one from Oregon or less PG13?” Fin teased. Olivia ignored his pestering and continued with the song.
Oh, you left me tired and lonely
And I can't believe I'm still waiting around
I hope I’m not waiting for you forever. The thought superseded an emotion-filled breath.
--------------------------------------
I don't wanna cry but you know me so well
I just wanna hold back, but tears, they keep coming
You may not love me now
But at least you loved me then
You left me
Did you even love me? At all? Obviously not. You left me, you stupid, big, oaf.
I don't wanna cry but you know me so well
I just wanna hold back, but tears, they keep coming
At least I’m crying in a dark secluded room this time. Fin and Damian wouldn’t dare bring it up.
You may not love me now
But at least you loved me then
You left me
You left me
You left me
“Liv that was amazing as always! When are you going to get one of these songs on the radio and make some real money?” Damian asked as she stepped out of the booth.
“Damian, we talked about this.” She smiled at him.
“Yeah, yeah. I know. But you just recorded a breakup anthem .” Olivia raised an eyebrow at him.
“Okay, message received. I’ll just add it to the ever-growing archive. Song number 2. BRKN.”
“Song number 2, recorded, not song number 2 written.”
“Oh, care to elaborate? Or record more? I’ve got all day.” Damian encouraged.
“Nice try.” Liv smiled at the engineer.