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He'd just pulled Kagome out of the meido and into the tearful embrace of her family… only for her to immediately vanish into thin air.
No… no…
Frantically, he grabbed at her, but it was too late: the Well was separating them, sending them each back to their own time.
Inuyasha fell to his knees in the dirt of the Feudal Era, claws digging furrows into the bright green grass.
For a few minutes, he could only kneel there, eyes squeezed shut, his breath coming in uncontrolled gasps as he fought the reaction he absolutely could not let anyone else see. It was over.
He should have fucking known better than to have hope. Every single fucking time he let himself get attached, one way or another, it always ended up getting snatched away from him.
Leaning his head down, he pressed his face into the grass…
…wait a minute, grass?
Suddenly on high alert, Inuyasha lifted his head. Something was very, very wrong here, and it had all of his instincts tingling at once.
Where was Naraku?
Naraku had destroyed the lands surrounding the village almost completely before they had gone in for the final battle—he was sure of it. Yet, there was no withered vegetation, nor even the slightest whiff of miasma. The village looked as peaceful as it had on the day he'd first seen it.
With his instincts continuing to prickle, he took a high leap into the nearest tree, taking care to make as little noise as possible.
He wouldn't be able to rest easy until he'd figured out what was going on.
As he approached the village, leaping near-silently from tree to tree, his uneasiness only grew. The villagers were all going about their business as if absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Men were tending the fields. His twitching ears picked up the laughter of children and the clack of looms. Not only had the village been miraculously restored, none of its residents even seemed to remember that it had been destroyed.
Where was Kaede? Where were Miroku and Sango? He needed to check with someone else—someone who had actually been there.
Tilting his head back, Inuyasha sniffed the breeze, but he could detect no familiar scents. Sure, there were plenty of humans about… but none of them were any of the people he actually wanted to see.
Feeling more ill at ease with each passing second, Inuyasha found himself only half-consciously wandering back to a place of comfort: one of the few constants that had endured between his time and Kagome's… only to halt, and stare in shock.
There was no scar on the Sacred Tree.
Staggering forward, hardly able to believe his eyes, he laid a hand against the unblemished bark. Was he mistaken? Could he have gotten the wrong tree? But no—Inuyasha knew this tree. Possibly he knew it better than anyone else, having spent a full fifty years pinned to the damn thing.
…except, apparently, he hadn't.
Increasingly frantic thoughts about whether he was going mad were interrupted by the sound of a footfall through the grass.
"Inuyasha!"
The voice was familiar… and angry. Already knowing what he would see, Inuyasha turned.
There, standing between the trees, bow in hand and with an arrow nocked, was Kikyo. Eyes roving over him with a sneer of disgust, she drew the bowstring back to her ear and released.
Thock. The first arrow struck the trunk of the tree behind him. "Get out of my village, half-breed." Already, she was drawing her bow again. "You disgust me." Another arrow flew. "How foolish could you be, to think I would ever want to be involved with a filthy hanyou?"
It didn't matter how much time had passed, the words still cut him—far more effectively than the arrows that flew right past him to bury themselves in the bark of the Sacred Tree.
Kikyo never missed.
Once, there had been a time when Inuyasha had taken those words to heart. When, assuming that he'd lost his one chance and had nothing left to lose, he'd taken off toward the village in search of the one thing he'd thought might possibly make his life less painful, because if the world was going to give him nothing, then he was just going to have to take.
This time, things had changed. This time, he turned around and walked toward the source of his pain.
"Did you not hear me, half-breed?" Kikyo loosed another arrow, which flew past his ear with a high whistle but which once again did not hit him. "I never want to see you again."
He was not running. His steps were slow, measured. Still, he could see Kikyo's foot shift involuntarily backward, as if preparing to flee. Clearly, he was not reacting the way that she had expected.
She was standing downwind.
"Are those disgusting ears of yours completely useless, too?" Once more, Kikyo raised her bow. "I said—"
Faster than the eye could follow, Inuyasha's hand shot out, and grabbed her wrist.
His hand was large enough to hold both of her wrists at once—which he did, pinning them over her head as she futilely struggled. Looking down into her eyes, Inuyasha could only see disgust, loathing… and a deep, burning rage.
"Drop the fuckin' act." His voice, when he spoke, was a low growl, but even he was surprised by his own lack of anger—the only emotion he could convey was a deep sorrow… and an even deeper regret. "I think we both know that I couldn't hold you for shit if you didn't want me to."
Kikyo stopped struggling, her eyes going wide with shock.
Inuyasha knew that whatever he was going to do, he had to do it fast—the element of surprise was essential, and his window to act was rapidly closing. Still, he could not help but take one single moment to stare down into Kikyo's eyes, taking in the full ramifications of what he was about to do.
"I'm sorry… Kagome."
Kikyo's eyes widened with shock in the split second before Inuyasha plunged his hand directly through her heart.
Kikyo walked in purposeful strides toward the Sacred Tree, ready to meet Inuyasha and the start of her new life… only to stop in her tracks, staring in shock.
Inuyasha had arrived at their meeting place before she had… and so, apparently, had she.
Inuyasha's bloodied claws were protruding from the back of the other Kikyo's chest—had he been aware of the deception? Or had he actually meant to kill her? Before she could consider the matter any further, though, the duplicate gave a low chuckle and began to writhe.
Withdrawing his hand from the other Kikyo's chest, Inuyasha leaped back with a curse. Whatever it was, he had not succeeded in killing it, for it was standing once more, no longer even remotely resembling her as the visage changed to that of a man and tentacles blossomed from its chest like some sort of grotesque flower.
Kikyo, by sheer force of habit, had already drawn an arrow, and she had only a split second to decide what to do with it. Who was the more dangerous demon here—Inuyasha or the shapeshifter?
In her line of work, making split-second decisions was also a necessary skill. Before either of them could move to counterattack, she let her arrow fly.
Kikyo never missed. The impostor was dissolved into ash on the spot.
"His name was Naraku."
He was all too aware of the blood staining his claws: among humans, always considered proof of irrefutable guilt, even if he'd only been skinning a rabbit for his dinner so he wouldn't starve. He did not look at Kikyo as he spoke.
"That bandit you were caring for in the cave—Onigumo." Out of the corner of his eye, he could make out the sudden tense wariness that gripped Kikyo's body: this wasn't information she had expected him to know. "He… well, he'd fallen in love with you, I guess. So he offered up his body to demons, and all of them ended up consuming him and becoming Naraku. He was tryin' to turn us against each other. To taint the Jewel with our hatred, and then he was gonna run off with it."
Slowly, ever so slowly, he could see Kikyo's grip on her bow beginning to falter. "How can you know this?" Her voice was coming out in a whisper.
"It doesn't matter." Then, with a shake of his head, he amended: "I could smell the difference, once I got up close. Believe me, I never woulda struck that blow if I hadn't known for sure it wasn't you."
For a long, long moment, neither of them spoke: even the chirping of the birds seemed to have fallen silent.
By killing Naraku, they had not only spared Kikyo an agonizing death and Inuyasha fifty years pinned to a tree: they had saved the rest of the world an unimaginable amount of pain and suffering. Miroku would never be haunted by a family curse. Sango would be able to live out the rest of her life in a thriving community, with her brother happy and healthy by her side. Countless villages would be spared from horrific massacres. In his heart, though, Inuyasha knew that just getting rid of Naraku wasn't enough: there was one more source of misery that remained unaddressed.
"Kikyo." Still not looking at her, he held out his un-bloodied hand. "Give me the Jewel."
"You know I cannot simply hand over the Shikon Jewel to any demon who asks for it." Taking a step toward him, she looked up at him, searching his face, but Inuyasha still would not meet her eyes. "Something is different. I cannot tell what, but you do not seem the same as you did yesterday." At that, Inuyasha could not help but let out a small, choking laugh. "Do you still—"
"Don't worry. If I was gonna run off with it, I woulda just done what he was planning to do, and ambushed you when you came to meet me." He jerked his head in the general direction of where Naraku had perished. "But if you still wanna be free of it, you're gonna have to trust me."
For a moment, she hesitated.
Inuyasha could just imagine what was going through her head: up until this point, Kikyo had dedicated most of her life to keeping the Shikon Jewel away from demons. On this day alone, an impostor had already planned to trick her into letting her guard down, and she'd already noticed that he was acting strange. How much could she trust him, really?
Inuyasha, for his part, did not try to push her. He'd already fulfilled his duty to her, stopped a force of malice, and saved Kikyo's life. Even if the Jewel remained in this world, it would be safe enough under her guardianship. Whether she wanted to continue living a life of misery and repression, or take a chance and possibly risk it all, was entirely up to her.
Perhaps it was because he did not push her that she was able to believe he truly intended no ill. Perhaps it was because he was the first person throughout the course of her whole life who had ever bothered to ask what she wanted. At long last, however, Kikyo stepped forward.
At no point during the transfer did either of them make physical contact with either the Jewel, or with each other: Kikyo simply pulled it from around her neck, and then laid the cord across Inuyasha's waiting palm. His fingers curled around it as she stepped back.
Slowly, still not touching it, he lifted it up to his face to get a good look. It was such a small thing for having been the source of so much misery, gleaming deceptively beautiful in the morning sunlight. Finally, after he had looked his fill, Inuyasha let out a sigh.
"I can't become human for you, Kikyo."
For the first time that day, he turned to look at her fully. He wasn't entirely sure what reaction he'd expected: anger, shock, incredulity. Instead, now she was the one refusing to look at him, her gaze directed toward the ground with an expression he was now all too familiar with: resignation.
"Ya gotta understand." He was not pleading—this was simply an explanation, straightforward and honest. Inuyasha thought that he at least owed her that much. "I want to have a place where I belong, and I want—wanted—to be with you. But that's not who I am, and I can't change that. Not for you or anyone else."
Again, Kikyo nodded. If he hadn't had so much of his own experience with forcing himself not to cry, he might have mistaken her closed-off expression for coldness.
The only thing that can destroy the Shikon Jewel is a truly selfless wish.
From the moment he'd held out his hand, Inuyasha had known what he would have to do. Kagome had already done all the hard work, and found the right solution; all that was left was for him to follow the path that she had already laid out. Still, actually forcing himself to take the action was so, so hard.
In that moment, he understood better than ever before the temptation of the Jewel as the possibilities flashed through his head. He could use it to return to his own timeline; he could wish for Kagome back, for none of this ever to have happened. For once, just once, in his life, he could have the opportunity to actually save everyone. He could actually think about what it was he wanted.
The temptation was terrible, far worse than that of becoming a full demon had ever been, but Inuyasha forced himself to turn away from it, and do the right thing. He knew the truth, had known it now for a very long time. Whatever was going on here was bigger than just him and Kagome… and the Shikon Jewel never granted your true wish.
Kagome had already shown him the path. Now all he had to do was walk it… alone.
"Shikon Jewel, I wish for you to disappear. Forever."
It was not a terrible moment, and that was the most terrible part of all: first the Jewel was, and then all of a sudden, it wasn't. There was a flash of light, and then the only thing Inuyasha held in his hand was an empty cord.
"You're free." Letting his hand drop, Inuyasha felt the cord slip from his fingers to pool lifelessly on the ground. "Live a good life. Don't waste this chance."
Then, before Kikyo could respond, he turned around and ran away.
At first, he had no idea where he was going. The only thing he knew was an urgent burning need to get away.
Inuyasha couldn't be here right now. He couldn't be in the village where he'd found and then lost two different loves, which looked and smelled so very like the place he'd once thought he might call home, but which was now no longer his.
So, he ran. He tried to put as much space between himself and Musashi as he possibly could.
He didn't stop until he felt like he was on the brink of physical collapse.
Only after he'd dragged himself into a tree for the night, not even bothering to clean up the remains of the fish he'd halfheartedly gnawed on for his dinner, did it occur to him to undo the ties to his clothes, letting his suikan and undershirt fall open so he could get a look at his bare chest.
The scar on the Sacred Tree had been gone… and now, so was the scar over his heart.
With an increasing urgency, he strained his eyes and ran his fingers over his skin, wondering if he could feel it, if his eyes had simply failed him in the dying light… but no. There was no longer any physical reminder of his time on the Tree. The only evidence he had of that other lifetime he'd lived were his own memories—and memories alone were piss-poor proof that anything had ever actually happened. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, it was far more likely he'd just gone mad.
…maybe he actually had gone mad.
After that day, Inuyasha avoided disrobing unless he absolutely had to.
After a few days out in the wilderness, Inuyasha found a place where he was unlikely to be disturbed, plopped down on the ground, and took a deep, fortifying breath.
Yes, he'd endured worse, but what he was about to do was going to be… unpleasant, to say the least. That didn't change the fact that it was necessary. For the past few days he'd noticed a powerful demonic aura on his trail, and caught the faint whiff of an all-too-familiar scent, and knew that he had to do whatever he could to prepare for the inevitable confrontation. Still, he could not help but picture Kagome's disapproving frown over what he was planning.
With one last deep breath, Inuyasha jabbed two clawed fingers directly into his right eye.
It hadn't exactly been fun when Sesshoumaru had done this to him, but it was another thing entirely to do it to himself. Still, he'd come this far, and like hell he'd quit now. The eye would grow back. He just needed to get to what was behind it.
The eyeball squelched to the ground as Inuyasha continued to dig around his own socket with gritted teeth. Finally, though, he felt it: the curved surface of something smooth and hard.
There was a soft clink as the small object clattered to the ground next to the squishy lump of what had only a few minutes ago been a working eye.
Panting, Inuyasha pushed himself to his feet and stared down at the black pearl. His old man really couldn't have picked a better place to put the fucking thing?
The trip through the portal was mostly as he remembered it from the first time: the same sensation of falling, the same flying skeletons that caught him midair to carry him to his destination… except this time, there was no Kagome to take the lead or to stand by his side and support him. There wasn't even Sesshoumaru to taunt him or goad him into action. This time, Inuyasha was completely on his own.
The sword was exactly where he remembered it being.
Now that it was no longer playing host to two battling brothers and their various hangers-on, the cavernous skeleton was uncannily eerie. Shuffling quietly forward, even the soft tread of his bare feet sounding far too loud in the vast empty space, Inuyasha stared down at the deceptively ragged-looking blade, and realized that, for all he remembered, there was one essential detail that he'd forgotten:
How was he going to draw it?
Yes, he was better off than Sesshoumaru, who couldn't even touch it… but Inuyasha remembered all too well how it had gone the first time around; even though he had grasped a hilt that fit his hand as if made especially for him, even as he'd pulled with all his might, the sword would not budge, and in the end, it had taken the touch of a human to actually extract it from the stone where it had lodged.
He needed Kagome.
Without consciously willing it, Inuyasha felt himself slumping to the ground as all the strength went out of him. There wasn't anywhere that he could go from here. What was the point in even trying anymore?
He did not know how long he sat there before something in him stirred.
Yes, he was hurting and alone. Yes, it was that much harder to bear now that he'd gotten a glimpse of what his life could be. Absolutely none of that changed the fact that Inuyasha was a survivor. He couldn't sit around feeling sorry for himself forever. No matter how many times the world had knocked him down, he would always get back up again, and this time was no exception.
Slowly, through gritted teeth, but still with no hesitation or falter in his movements, he pushed himself to his feet.
Once again, there was no resistance as his fingers curled around Tetsusaiga's battered hilt. Bracing himself, fully prepared for a repeat of the humiliating first time, he gave the sword a firm tug.
Tetsusaiga refused to budge.
Of course; he'd known all along that it was never going to be that easy. Letting himself slump back down onto the ground, Inuyasha settled himself in to think. There had to be a solution. What was he going to do now?
Now that he'd opened up the gateway in the pearl, it was only going to allow him access once; when he left this place, there would be no coming back. Not without either recreating the stunt that Naraku had pulled to open up a path to the afterlife or walking up to Sesshoumaru to ask for his help—not fucking likely, on either count. Walking out of here empty-handed wasn't an option either; Inuyasha needed that sword.
What would Kagome tell him, if she were here?
Think it through, Kagome's voice seemed to echo in his head. Don't think about what you don't have, think about what you do. Even though her presence existed only in his mind, Inuyasha could not quite suppress a snort; always the fucking optimist, she was. Only a full-blooded human could draw the sword from the stone, and he didn't see any humans around here. No matter which way he turned it, he was stuck. He needed a human in order to get at that sword. He needed a—
It was then that it hit him. The only resource he had in here was himself… but that didn't mean he had nothing to work with. He wasn't useless, never had been, and Kagome had been the one to show him that.
His demon blood didn't make him a monster, and his human half wasn't a weakness—quite to the contrary, it was one of his greatest strengths.
It was impossible to tell how much time was passing in here. This place didn't have days or nights, and it didn't have seasons. The only thing he knew for sure was that it was long enough for his eye to grow back fully, and for pangs of hunger to start gnawing his empty stomach even as his mouth and throat grew dry with thirst. Still, he waited. Patience was something that Kagome had taught him too.
His waiting paid off when he felt the change come over him: his fangs and claws retracting as his ears re-shaped themselves and his hair and eyes changed color. For once, he barely even noticed the dulling of his senses: there was nothing to hear in here, no more than there was anything to smell.
It took far more effort than it should have to push himself to his feet and begin staggering forward: going by the moon phase in the outside world, he'd been in here for three full days, and the prolonged hunger and thirst took a far greater toll on a delicate human body than they did on one sustained by demon blood. Inuyasha ignored it, and kept moving; as he liked to remind himself whenever things got difficult, he had endured worse. Still, for once in his life, he did not push it: he had all night to get to his goal, and there was nothing in here but bones to disturb him. He could afford to take his time.
Kagome, he thought, would have been proud.
Eventually, he did get there, and his now-clawless fingers curled around Tetsusaiga's familiar hilt. Taking a single deep breath, Inuyasha once more gave the sword a tug.
It wasn't as hard as the last time he'd tried to pull it out, and he wasn't using nearly as much force he had the first time around, when he'd been yanking with all his strength for no better reason than that he knew his brother wanted it and Kagome had pointed out how much it would piss Sesshoumaru off if Inuyasha got it instead. Nevertheless, it slid out smoothly at his touch, as if it had never been embedded at all.
Letting himself sink back down into a sitting position, Inuyasha laid it across his knees and looked it over.
It was the same sword. The battered grip felt as familiar in his hand as if it had never been anywhere else. The same humble exterior still contained the same unimaginable power. Once he regained his true form, Inuyasha was certain that he would feel it thrumming with the same demonic energy that was perfectly attuned to his own. No, it might no longer have the same techniques that it had absorbed in some other lifetime, but this was undoubtedly Tetsusaiga, the sword he'd been using so long that it had become an extension of his own body, and holding it was an undeniable comfort.
No, he still didn't have Kagome back, and possibly never would… but as Inuyasha returned to the world of the living the next morning after having regained his demonic strength, he could not help but feel that one small piece of his shattered soul had been slotted back into place.
"You really don't wanna do this, Sesshoumaru. Trust me."
There was a time when Inuyasha had thought that he hated his brother. Now, he only felt pity.
They'd both of them lost a father, Sesshoumaru one he had actually known. Yet, rather than trying to form any new meaningful relationships, rather than acknowledging the value of the sword he did have, he was still wasting his life chasing after the ghost of a legacy that could never be his.
"Once again, you presume too much of yourself… and this one would rather see Tetsusaiga destroyed than in the hands of a half-breed."
It was the same refrain he'd heard for most of his life: a half-breed was not worthy, a half-breed was not deserving, a half-breed could never hope to measure up to a full demon. Once, the words had stung, but that was before he had been shown the truth: he was strong, he was worthy, and his older half-brother would not feel such a need to tear him down if not for the emptiness of his own life.
"Have it your way. But don't say that I didn't warn ya."
It seemed like the talking part was over, for Sesshoumaru chose that moment to make his move. So did Inuyasha.
None of his knowledge had faded: the Wind Scar was unleashed with practiced ease, to the same devastating effect that it had had the first time around.
When it was over, Inuyasha fell to his knees, leaning on the massive blade for support, but not because of any physical ailment: he had come out of the fight without even so much as a single scratch on him.
The same could not be said for Sesshoumaru.
Had he lost the arm again? Had he sustained a worse injury? Was he even still alive? It was impossible to tell: the interaction between the Wind Scar and Tenseiga had carried him away, just as it had the first time around, leaving behind only the faintest whiff of blood. When he'd struck, Inuyasha had aimed slightly off-center, because even with all the bad blood between them, he did not actually want to kill his brother… but he couldn't control everything, and there was only so much he could afford to hold back if he wanted to keep his own life. The rest was out of his hands: from here on out, it was up to Sesshoumaru, and chance, and possibly even fate.
Rin would not even be born for almost another fifty years. Would some other human child dare to approach a wounded daiyoukai, and slowly begin softening his heart? Or would he just lie there and recover all alone, with only the chirping of birds and perhaps Jaken's squacking for company, and walk away seeing this as only a minor setback on his path to the life that he thought he wanted?
No. Wherever he went from here, it couldn't be Inuyasha's problem. Sesshoumaru had made his choices, and if he wanted to spend the rest of his life wallowing in his own bitterness, there was nothing that anyone else could do to fix that.
Still, his head dipped a bit as he made his way from the place of their latest battle.
Of course he sought them out.
Not the people he knew all too well hadn't been born yet and would not have known him even if they had, but rather any connection he could still make with them. A run by a Buddhist temple that he almost didn't recognize without the giant crater in the ground revealed a man and a boy, the latter of whom he thought might be a much younger Mushin, sharing a laugh over some lewd joke. Inuyasha fled before they had a chance to notice him.
At the village of the Slayers, he was even more cautious.
Granted, Sango had come around pretty quickly, and Naraku had given her reason to believe she had just cause… but these people still slayed demons for a living. Friendly sparring was all well and good, but he wasn't particularly keen on having a battle to the death with even one Sango, let alone several dozen of her.
The village was incredibly well-fortified. It was also inhabited.
Of course, Inuyasha had been here before… but then it had been a lonely place of broken walls and smashed houses, reeking of death. He had dug those graves himself. Now, he could smell only cookfires and the sweat of many people hard at work; his twitching ears picked up the hum of friendly chatter and the clanging of a forge. Without Naraku, this village would continue to live.
Sango would never lose her family.
Miroku would never bear a curse that was slowly eating him alive.
Even Shippo would be spared the loss of his father, killed over his possession of a shard of a Jewel that now no longer existed.
It was better this way.
Better for everyone he cared about.
It was better…
Slowly, he found himself sinking to his knees, without any care for the discomfort of the cold, hard ground.
Everything was better for everyone but him.
Yes, all of his friends still had their families and their lives, but the price to be paid was that Inuyasha had lost all of his friends.
Not just his friends—he'd lost Kagome.
Five hundred years from now, there was still a possibility that some reincarnation of Kikyo would once again be born. But, would she still be the same Kagome that he knew, the Kagome he'd fallen in love with? Or was Kikyo's brutal murder and unsatisfied wish a necessary part of Kagome's existence?
Inuyasha didn't know. He wasn't smart enough to know for sure what his actions would mean for the far future, or for Kagome's place in it. The only thing he knew was that if he'd stood back, if he'd let let Naraku follow through with his murderous plans, that would have meant allowing Kikyo to die—it would have been the third time he would have had to watch her die.
He could not believe that sacrificing the life of a real person who was standing right in front of him in order to preserve the existence of someone who possibly would be born was the right course of action.
Still… where exactly did that leave him?
He truly had not intended to ever come back here.
He'd already lost two loves to this village. Returning to the site of so much heartbreak was just too painful. Still, his feet seemed to have other ideas, and before he knew it, Inuyasha found himself cresting the rise of a familiar hill.
As he realized where he was, he slowed from a run to a lope to a walk and then, right on the final border between the rice fields and the untamed wilderness, to a complete stop. For a couple of seconds, he was utterly still, before turning on his heel to face in the opposite direction. He lifted up his foot…
…only to set it back down without taking even so much as a step.
Yes, this place was full of more painful memories than he could count, but it was also the closest he'd ever come to having a real home. Now that he was here again, Inuyasha couldn't bring himself to just turn around and run away.
Slowly, almost as if his feet were dragging through honey, he turned back around and made his way into the village.
It was the middle of the night; no one would bother him. Most of the villagers wouldn't even realize he was there. Maybe if he faced the pain rather than avoiding it, he could finally lance these wounds.
Inuyasha went to the Well first.
The jump was not something he had consciously planned: it was simply second nature, as easy as breathing. He didn't even realize that he was doing it until after his feet had already left the ground, and for one brief, achingly hopeful heartbeat, he had the feeling that everything would be all right. That the Well would open to him just like it always had, carrying him away to a future full of wonders and the home of a girl so strange that she saw him for who he was rather than what he was.
Dust puffed up around him as his feet hit the bottom.
For a moment, he couldn't move. He could only crouch where he'd landed, eyes squeezed shut but not from the dust, and slowly slump to the ground as every part of his body gave up on keeping him upright.
Of fucking course. The Well was just a useless pile of wood now. Inuyasha didn't know why he had even bothered.
Leaping out with such force it nearly shattered the wood to pieces, he found himself landing directly in front of the Sacred Tree.
There was still no scar.
With a sigh, Inuyasha reached out, and rested a clawed hand against the bark over the spot where he'd been pinned, in some other lifetime. Of course there was no scar, any more than there was a scar over his heart. He didn't know what he'd been expecting.
High over his head, the leaves of the tree rustled in the nighttime breeze. It almost felt as if the Tree was trying to reassure him.
…no. The wind was changing.
Inuyasha felt his lip peeling back as he caught the first faint whiff of blood. It was just subtle enough that he couldn't be sure, but he thought there was something else familiar about it too.
Without a second thought, he had taken off running—toward the blood-scent, and the person he was increasingly certain that it belonged to.
He found her at the bottom of a ravine.
It took him neither effort nor thought to leap down beside her. She was who he'd thought she was; there was no mistaking her scent now that he was this close. She was visibly older than he remembered, and Inuyasha realized with a shock that he must have been away for years. She did not stir at the noise of his approach, but he let out a sigh of relief when his twitching ears picked up on her faint heartbeat and the sound of her breath—she must merely be unconscious.
Reaching out with a shaking hand, he started to gently turn her over to get a look at the damage… and froze.
The right half of her face was covered with blood.
Chills went through him as he gripped her chin, turning her head from side to side to inspect the damage. It was hard to tell for sure in the dark night and with so much of her face obscured by blood, but… he was all too certain that the wound had cost Kaede her eye.
Following the direction of her scent trail, Inuyasha let his gaze drift up the side of the ravine. A broken and extinguished lantern was dangling from one of the bushes, and a trail of torn vegetation and disturbed rocks marked the spot where she must have lost her footing. Why she was out here by herself in the middle of the night was a question that would have to wait for her return to consciousness, but right now, the only thing he knew for sure was that she needed help and that he had neither the supplies nor the knowledge to tend to her wounds.
…well, it wasn't like he didn't already know where she lived.
Scooping the unconscious girl into his arms, Inuyasha leaped easily back up to the top of the ravine.
When he reached the door of their small hut, he nearly collided with Kikyo coming out.
She was still in her sleeping yukata, her hat sitting askew over her mussed and tangled hair, with dark circles under her puffy eyes. Inuyasha didn't think he'd ever seen her look so disheveled.
"Kaede!"
Immediately she was rushing forward to meet him, her hand shaking as she reached up to touch her sister's face. "Bring her inside."
So, Inuyasha carried the kid into the house and laid her out on the floor while Kikyo divested herself of her hat and sandals, and then began frantically digging through her stash of medicines. He was halfway to the door when she spoke again.
"Please, would you mind getting some water?"
Right on the threshold of the doorway, Inuyasha paused.
He had been about to leave. While he did still care about Kikyo's wellbeing, he'd long since accepted that there was no longer a place for him in her life, nor for her in his. Now that she'd asked, though? He wasn't going to deny her this little bit of decency.
With a nod, he bent to scoop up the bucket that was resting beside the door. "I'll be right back." Then, before she could reply, he pushed his way out, the door flap falling shut behind him.
It was an immediate relief, to breathe the cool night air—air that was not thick with the stench of blood and the tang of herbs and the natural scent of a living, breathing woman rather than the clay and graveyard soil of his memories.
…memories that were now the only evidence that Kagome had existed at all. All physical proof of the previous timeline was gone. No one else here would be able to back up his story. For all Inuyasha knew, maybe he'd just been so desperate for someone to love and accept him that he'd dreamed the whole thing.
There was the sound of a splash as he cast the bucket viciously into the well.
By the time he got back, Kikyo had already built up the fire.
She nodded her thanks as he set down the bucket, but was clearly preoccupied with whatever medicine she was preparing.
He should leave.
He'd saved Kikyo. He'd saved Kaede. Hell, he'd even fetched the damn water. Inuyasha had paid his debt. There was nothing more that he needed to do here. He'd take his leave, and then he'd go do… well, something. He opened up his mouth…
"D'you need anything else?"
Damn it, why couldn't he just leave well enough alone?
"No, I can manage well enough from here." With a shrug, he turned on his heel, but then…
"Please. Stay."
"But you just said you didn't need any—"
"No." Kikyo shook her head. "You saved my sister. The least I can offer you in return is a hot meal and a warm place to sleep."
Once again, the rational part of his mind told him to say no. That the only thing he could hope to gain by staying here was even more heartache. Once again, though, his body was already acting without his permission, and he found his legs folding beneath him as he slowly sank to the floor.
It was so achingly familiar, and yet at the same time, not.
After Kagome had released him, Inuyasha had spent so much time in this exact house. Of course, it had been Kaede's house, and she had been an old woman, carrying on the legacy fifty years after her sister's death. Now, both sisters were alive and young, the old injury that he remembered now fresh and bleeding.
"Why was she out there, anyway?"
Kikyo froze.
At the time, he'd been a little too shocked by the repeat of history to think too hard about the specific circumstances, but now that he took the time to consider it, it seemed pretty odd. Most people didn't just go walking around alone in the middle of the night, and especially not young women. If Kaede was out alone at this hour, there must have been a reason, but she had not been on a path that led to anywhere in particular, and Inuyasha had neither heard nor smelled anything in the village that could possibly be a cause for concern. As far as he could tell, the only emergency had been Kaede's absence, and Kikyo's reaction just now confirmed it: there was something else going on here.
"I'm right, ain't I?" he continued to push when she didn't answer. "This wasn't just some medicine run."
Slowly, ever so slowly, Kikyo started moving again, setting what remained of the bandages aside with a sigh. "I suppose you were eventually going to find out anyway. Kaede and I… fought. When she first ran out, I thought it best to give her some time to cool down, but when she did not return…"
Curiously, Inuyasha cocked his head. Though the relationship between the sisters as he remembered it had been somewhat… fraught… that was because of Kikyo's death and unnatural resurrection. While she'd still been alive, Kaede had practically worshiped her. He couldn't think of any reason why they should be at odds now.
Though he didn't voice it, she must have seen the question in his eyes. "Earlier today, Kaede expressed a desire to become a miko. I was… opposed."
Inuyasha couldn't help it: he snorted. "Seriously? That was what you were getting so worked up about?"
Immediately, he knew he'd made a mistake: in the delivery if not in the sentiment. Whipping her head around, Kikyo glared at him through narrowed eyes, her lips pressing into a thin line. "This," she made a curt gesture toward Kaede's face, "is no laughing matter. My sister has lost her eye. She could just as easily have lost her life. I would very much like to know which part of that you find so amusing."
Shit. He'd really fucked up this time.
The atmosphere in the room was now so tense he wouldn't be surprised if demons started materializing out of thin air. Staying had been a mistake. Coming back to this village at all had been a mistake. Hastily, he pushed himself to his feet. "I better go."
"Inuyasha."
She was not yelling. Her voice was calm, and commanding. Inuyasha halted in his tracks, and slowly turned around to fix her with a pleading look.
"You wouldn't believe me even if I did tell you."
"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" Kikyo gestured for him to sit down, and Inuyasha felt as if he had no choice but to comply.
For a moment, they only sat in silence, he unwilling to speak and she unwilling to let this go. Finally, Kikyo let out a sigh.
"That day… I thought you seemed different." In contrast to her earlier anger, her voice was now quiet, her expression thoughtful. "Now that you have returned, I am certain. You are not the same Inuyasha who agreed to make that wish."
"Kikyo…" Her name fell out of his mouth almost like a cry of pain.
"Please understand. I will always be grateful for what you did." Her hands, he realized, were smoothing down her yukata, drawing attention both to her uncharacteristic state of disarray, and to the scandalousness of their current position—he, a demon, alone with her in her house while she was still in her sleepwear. "But I would like to know what made you change your mind so suddenly… and I would like to know why you left."
For a moment, he hesitated. When he'd told her she wouldn't believe his story, he'd meant it—hell, Inuyasha didn't think that he would believe his story, if not for the fact that he'd personally lived it. What good would it do him, to tell her a tale for which he could offer not even the slightest proof?
…then again, what the fuck did he have to lose? His relationship with Kikyo? He'd already sacrificed that himself when he'd run off, and it wasn't like every other connection he'd formed hadn't already been severed—there was no one else he could talk to, not just about this but about anything. If she disbelieved him, she disbelieved him. He wouldn't exactly be able to blame her… but at least he would have gotten the story out.
"The truth is… I ain't the same person I was before."
Then, he proceeded to tell her.
He told her of Onigumo's lust and greed, of the demon who had turned them against each other, of her death and her attempt to take the Jewel with her into death. Of the fifty years he had spent pinned to the Sacred Tree, put into an enchanted sleep by her holy arrow until Kagome had awoken him. Of her reincarnation and unwilling resurrection, of the return of the Jewel to the world, of her second death at Naraku's hands and her choice to save Kohaku. Of carrying on without her, the final showdown with Naraku, Kagome trapped in the meido and finding the one right wish. Of being separated by the Well only to find himself back here. At the beginning, where it had all started.
"Kaede was missing that eye in my time too," he finished at last, quietly. "She was also still a miko fifty years on and seemed just fine with it. That was what I thought was funny. Not her getting injured or the risk to her life… but trust me, her wantin' to be a miko is the absolute last thing that you should be worried about." Letting out a sigh, he looked down at his hands.
There was another long silence, the only sound in the room the crackling of the fire.
"You must understand," Kikyo said at last. "This sounds…"
"I don't expect you to believe me." Inuyasha shook his head. "Hell, you probably think I'm mad even if you don't think I'm lying. But… it is what happened, and you deserve to know the truth."
"So… this 'Kagome'. Did you choose me over her?"
"No!"
He spoke so vehemently it surprised even him. More quietly, he added, "I did what was right. I can't… it wasn't ever about who I would choose."
Slowly, Kikyo nodded, her gaze turning once more toward the direction of the fire.
Their friends had always given him so much shit for making Kagome feel second best. Even though he hadn't done it on purpose. Even though he'd only ever tried to do what was right… and he'd never had the first clue how to make it better, since even when he told her, it never seemed to help. Now, here he was with Kikyo, and he'd just made her feel the exact same way.
No matter how hard he tried, everything he touched turned to dust in his hands.
"I better go." For the second time that night, he pushed himself to his feet.
This time, when he left, Kikyo did not try to stop him.
Even after all of that, he still could not bring himself to leave the village.
At first, he told himself it was just to make sure the kid was okay.
After all, losing an eye was a pretty serious injury, and she wasn't going to just grow it back. Yes, it was an injury that she'd survived before, but there was still no guarantee that she would live this time.
So, he stuck around, keeping to the trees just outside of the village boundary, waiting for Kikyo to leave before darting forward to lay offerings of food and medicinal herbs outside of her door, trusting that she would figure out who it was from. He always made sure to take a few sniffs while he was at it, satisfied when he could detect no sign of infection or rot.
It was a convenient excuse, yes… but it grew thinner and thinner as the kid got back on her feet, then when she began venturing to the edge of the fields to practice her archery on the nearby trees, the patch over her eye and her slightly off-center aim the only signs that anything was amiss, and Inuyasha still had not left.
Now that he'd run out of excuses, there was no more avoiding it: this village was the only place he knew, and it was the only place where anyone knew him. Much as he knew he should leave, he just couldn't make himself go back out into a world of isolation, with not a single friendly face to be seen.
A few days after Kaede had returned to her normal activities, he noticed something unusual at the edge of his territory.
At first, he approached cautiously. Even though the small covered basket didn't exactly look threatening, villagers had set traps for him before. From a very young age, he'd learned not to investigate anything carelessly, and that the only person he could rely on to take care of him was himself.
When he was only a few steps away, the wind changed, and he realized that it carried Kikyo's scent.
No longer cautious, he walked right up, and lifted the cloth. A multitude of other mouth-watering scents immediately wafted up at him.
Only then did he remember Kikyo's promise of a hot meal.
For a moment, he hesitated, but… the food was here. He wouldn't have to catch his dinner for once. Kikyo had left it as thanks for helping her sister, nothing more.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he reached out to snatch the basket, then darted into the woods and leaped into a nearby tree, almost as if he was afraid it would be taken away from him as easily as it had been offered.
…or as if he was afraid that someone would see him eating it.
When he returned the basket, he stuffed a bunch of medicinal herbs inside to replace the food he'd eaten.
It only seemed right, and it wasn't as if it cost him any effort. Besides, he knew all too well how important medicine was in this day and age.
A few days later, there was another basket.
Hovering right on the edge of the trees, Inuyasha stared down at the offering, but made no move to take it.
He… he couldn't. It felt like he was betraying Kagome and Kikyo both at the same time.
…then again, he'd already betrayed Kagome.
Lifting the basket up in his large hands and peering down at the onigiri and pickled vegetables and salted fish it offered, Inuyasha wondered.
Yes, he'd saved her life, but someday, one way or another, Kikyo would die. That was just what mortals did; there was no helping it. But, would she still be reborn, five hundred years in the future?
…even if she was, would she still be the same Kagome he remembered? Or was Kikyo's suffering necessary to her very existence? Would Inuyasha even still be alive to find out?
He didn't know. He wasn't smart enough to think through any of this. Instead, before he'd even realized what it was he was doing, he'd hurled the basket to the ground and bounded off into the woods.
When Kikyo found him, he was high up a tree and it was nearly nightfall.
It actually wasn't that surprising that she was able to find him so easily: he hadn't gone that far from the treeline, and his bright red clothing stood out against the green leaves. Even so, he somehow hadn't expected for her to actually come.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. For some reason, he'd expected her to leave quickly. Hearing the rustling of cloth, he glanced down to see that she had seated herself at the base of the tree, and a growl welled up in his throat entirely unbidden.
"I ain't some stray dog that you can tame with food."
It took her a long, long time to respond. Another glance over the side of the branch revealed that Kikyo was sitting as still as a statue, her head bowed low and her fingers curled into the fabric of her hakama.
"Have I really offended you so?" Her voice was coming out in a whisper.
Mouth open, an angry response halfway to his lips, Inuyasha paused. Why did he find such a simple gesture of goodwill to be so upsetting?
…a high tree branch. A girl standing below him. A thrown missile he'd first assumed to be yet another rock, before he'd felt the smooth skin of a pear under his fingers. It had been the first time since his mother had died that anyone had given him something to eat.
All at once, the anger went out of him, leaving him feeling hollow and guilty. It wasn't like Kikyo had done it on purpose. "Just… if you still wanna thank me, find some other way." He was almost whispering himself, now. "…please."
The sun was fully below the horizon now, the only sounds the stirring of nocturnal creatures and the play of the breeze through the leaves. The night grew darker and darker, the stars peeking out of the sky one by one, and still neither moved.
Finally, Inuyasha forced himself to speak. "You should get back home."
With a sigh, Kikyo pushed herself to her feet. "I suppose that you are right."
Before she could take more than a few steps, Inuyasha dropped down from the tree. "You shouldn't be out alone in the woods in the middle of the night," he explained when she looked at him in question. "I'll walk ya home."
The silence was near-unbearable as they made their way to the edge of the woods and then back through the fields, but it seemed as if neither one of them knew how to break it. When they reached Kikyo's house, it was an immense relief… but then, rather than going inside, she turned back to face him.
"If you ask it of me, I will not approach you again."
The thought made his chest tighten. Yes, he hated the thought that she was trying to be Kagome, and staying close to Kikyo in the hopes of something that she could never give was so unfair to her, but… now that the offer was before him, Inuyasha found that he couldn't quite bring himself to let her go, either.
"I… I think I need some time." His voice, when he spoke, was coming out choked. "But… I'm not goin' anywhere anytime soon."
It was a fuckin' pathetic answer, was what it was… but still, Kikyo nodded, as if it had made perfect sense.
"Then I suppose I shall see you around." Before he could respond, she was gone, the door flap falling shut behind her.
It wasn't actually Kikyo who approached him the next time, but rather Kaede.
Like Kikyo, she walked right up and sat down at the base of his tree without saying a word. Unlike Kikyo, she didn't seem able to keep still, and spent the whole time fidgeting, her fingers twisting and turning relentlessly around each other from where her hands lay in her lap.
Fuck, even just watching her was beginning to make him feel twitchy, and Inuyasha had never exactly been good at sitting still himself. Finally, after she'd sat there long enough to be watching the rice grow, he could stand it no longer. "You got somethin' to say, kid?"
She jumped so high she almost bonked her head against one of the lower branches. Inuyasha could not help but snicker as she whirled around to glare up at him.
"That's not funny!"
"Sure it is." Then, when she continued to glare: "Hey, it's your own fault for not just sayin' what you want."
Though her face visibly reddened at the jibe, she drew herself up, squaring her shoulders as she faced him head on. "You knew me in a different lifetime."
All at once, the laughter went out of him; the situation did not seem even remotely funny anymore. "Fuck, kid, you heard that?" He could not imagine that Kikyo would have told her.
"Of course I noticed you and onee-san talking." Her glare intensified as her hands clenched into fists at her sides. "I'm not stupid, but onee-san still won't stop treating me like a little kid, and now you are too!" Kaede looked almost on the brink of angry tears.
"Okay, okay!" Inuyasha dropped out of the tree, holding up his hands in a gesture of appeasement. "For what it's worth, I don't think you're stupid—hell, half the time I ended up goin' to you for advice."
Kaede's eye narrowed as she looked at him, once again the very image of skepticism. "You're making fun of me."
"I swear I'm not." Then, because it was impossible to resist: "You decrepit old hag."
Letting out an indignant huff, she gave him a hard shove; Inuyasha let her move him, and staggered back a few steps. Then, as she whirled around to storm off again:
"You were a miko."
Only a few steps away from him, she paused, and looked over her shoulder. There was something different in her eye this time, something fragile and gleaming that broke through the shyness and annoyance and caution. "I… was?"
"Yeah." Inuyasha nodded. "An old lady miko, had been for decades. I never even knew you as you are now."
For a moment, there was silence. Then:
"Onee-san says I'm going to regret it."
She spoke quietly, scuffing the dirt with her foot, her whole bearing that of someone who already knew she was fighting a losing battle.
"Trust me, you didn't. Ya told me yourself once that you never regretted the life that you led, only the way that you came to it." He snorted. "Pretty sure the only reason Kikyo's saying you will is because she did."
Kaede gave a small, tentative nod. Still, as the moments went by and the information he'd given her began to sink in, her posture slowly started to gain more confidence.
"Hey, Inuyasha? Why don't you come have dinner with us tonight?"
Inuyasha started; whatever he'd been expecting her to say next, it certainly hadn't been that. "Kid, I really don't think that's a good—"
"Oh, come on!" For all she was very nearly a woman, Kaede looked almost ready to stomp her foot in frustration. "Why did you even give me all those reassurances if you weren't going to back me up? You need to help me convince onee-san to let me be a miko!"
"I promise, it's not 'cause I don't wanna help you." When she continued to look petulant, Inuyasha let out a sigh and tried again. "This ain't got nothin' to do with you an' your sister, and everything to do with me an' your sister. I guess it might be a bit hard for you to understand this, but the two of us got—"
"Then get over it." Kaede let out another impatient huff… then, before he could make a strategic retreat, she'd reached out and grabbed his wrist. "I don't know why everyone is always insisting on giving me advice when you can't even solve your own problems." Then, she was marching back in the direction of her sister's house with him in tow, and Inuyasha could either cause a scene trying to escape from the clutches of a teenage girl, or allow her to drag him wherever she wanted.
Inuyasha wouldn't have thought it was even possible for a dinner to be so awkward.
Oh, Kikyo handled herself with poise, and hid her surprise well when he showed up at her door (or, more accurately, was dragged to her door)… but she was still near-silent, her posture so stiff that she moved like she had a board tied to her back. As for Inuyasha, he couldn't seem to make himself sit still, knees bouncing, hands twitching, ears swiveling all around and flicking from side to side; the only thing he wanted to do right now was go sit in a corner until he could leave. The only person who seemed to be perfectly at ease in that room was Kaede.
…no, the damn brat was enjoying herself, shooting a wicked grin his way as he squirmed.
Finally, he reached the point where he could take it no longer.
"Damn it, Kikyo, just let the kid be a miko."
In that moment, everything stopped.
Kaede, who had the chopsticks halfway to her mouth, slowly lowered them back into the bowl. Kikyo froze, the ladle in her hand dripping as it hovered over the pot. Within the span of a few seconds, Inuyasha's fidgeting redoubled.
Finally, after the silence had stretched on so long it had started to feel like it might break, Kikyo lowered the ladle back into the pot with a sigh. "Did Kaede put you up to this?"
"Well, yeah." Inuyasha absently scratched a claw against the floor, stopping when a splinter of wood curled up from under his finger. "But that don't mean that she ain't right."
"I will need to think on this." When Kaede opened her mouth in protest, Kikyo cut her off with a look. "That is not a no… but if you want me to believe that this is not merely the whim of a child, then you must be ready to begin acting like an adult."
Kaede closed her mouth.
"As for you…"
Inuyasha was already halfway to his feet. He was done here; there was no more reason for him to stick around, and he'd been hoping that while the sisters were settling their differences, he'd be able to sneak out quietly… but with Kikyo's attention turned his way, he froze in place, his ears beginning to lay back. She couldn't have been talking to anyone but him.
Briefly, the moment seemed to hang on a precipice. Was she angry at him, for interfering in the affairs of her family? Would she rather he just go away and actually stay gone? Inuyasha didn't know. He could barely even say what it was that he wanted anymore, much less try to guess what Kikyo was thinking.
"Will you stay tonight?" Her voice, when she spoke, was unexpectedly soft. Then, so quietly it was almost a whisper: "Please?"
Now that he was the center of attention, he found himself giving a nervous swallow. Still, with Kikyo's dark eyes boring into his, he found he could do nothing but nod his assent.
By "stay", of course, he assumed that she'd just meant "remain in the general area until morning". After all, he reasoned, Kikyo hadn't exactly specified that she wanted him to remain in the house.
Hell, he'd had a hard enough time sleeping inside even when this had been Kaede's house and Kagome was the one who was asking him to come in. Even then, he'd spent most of his nights sitting against the wall with Tetsusaiga propped up against his chest. By this point, he'd spent so much of his life sleeping beneath the stars with only the rough bark of a tree trunk for a pillow that a bed and a hearth always felt like a trap.
He'd waited just long enough for both humans' breathing to even out. Then, he'd slipped out from under the borrowed bedding and silently padded his way to the door.
Several hours later, from up on the roof, his twitching ears were easily able to pick up the sound of soft footsteps, and of the hanging door being briefly pushed aside before it was allowed to fall back into place.
Peering down over the edge, he was able to make out the back of a white sleeping yukata and a head of black hair that had been left loose and unbound for the night. Though he could not see her face from this angle, the way that she moved gave her away, even before a brief gust of nighttime breeze confirmed beyond any shadow of a doubt which of the sisters this was.
For a moment, he hesitated. While he'd noticed her, she clearly hadn't noticed him… even if she certainly would have noticed his absence from the house. Should he let her believe that he'd just run away? Or should he…?
Screw it, he thought, and jumped down to land beside her.
"You stayed." Kikyo spoke without turning to look at him. Maybe she hadn't been as unaware of him as he'd thought.
"Yeah. Well." Inuyasha grunted, crossing his arms. "Startin' to get a little bit tired of running away."
For a while, they stood there quietly, the only sounds the chirping and scampering of night creatures and the rustle of wind in the trees.
Kikyo was the first to break the silence.
"I do not intend to say yes to Kaede yet… but I will give her a chance to prove that this is what she truly wants. I will require her to pass all of the training that I did, and to practice her archery until she can consistently hit a target. If she can do all of that, and if at the end of it she can still tell me sincerely that she wishes to become a miko, then I will give her my blessing. In return, I require only that she abide by my decision if she cannot handle the training… and that you do not interfere further."
"Yeah, that's fair." Inuyasha let out a slight chuckle. "I just wanted you to give the kid a chance. Up to her what she actually does with it."
The silence that stretched out between them after that was more relaxed, more comfortable. Before, it had felt like a void that needed to be filled. Now, it was a state of being that was complete all on its own.
"It might be a little late to say it now." When he turned to look at her, Kikyo's smile was rueful. "I told you I was grateful for what you did for me. I still am. But… it isn't right that you were the only one who had to make such a great sacrifice. I see that now."
His heart skipping a beat, Inuyasha turned to face her fully in the moonlight. "Kikyo…"
She shook her head slightly, that small smile still on her face. "Would it be silly of me to say that I regret we lost our chance before we ever even had it?"
"We ain't the same people that we were before."
Though he spoke it as a warning, Inuyasha knew in his heart that that was actually a good thing: they had grown up. They had passed the point where they believed it was possible to build a home on wishes.
He wasn't going to get Kagome back, not in this lifetime, maybe not ever. He'd also spent enough time around Kikyo now to see her for who she was rather than who she might become.
"I have no wish to be the person I was before… and I think I would like to get to know the person that you are now. The real you, this time."
"Okay, but I gotta warn ya: getting the real me also means gettin' all of me."
The villagers seemed to be getting used to him.
…which, honestly, was a helluva lot better than they'd been doing before. There were times when he just wished they'd just get used to him faster. When he remembered this place as his home, it was hard to go back to being treated like a stranger and a threat.
He hadn't even done anything, at first: just hung around on the village margins and let himself be seen. After the first few scares, they'd learned soon enough that he wasn't going to drag them into the forest or start eating their babies.
Blegh. Who would even want to eat a baby? They'd probably taste like shit.
That time that he saved the village from a rampaging oni probably helped a little. Okay, it probably helped a lot.
Anyway, after that, Kikyo had started calling on him whenever there was any heavy lifting to be done: hauling trees, chopping wood… hell, they even found out that the Wind Scar was pretty damn good at plowing the fields, in a fraction of the time it would have taken a team of oxen.
…and, Kikyo had been coming to visit him.
They still met covertly—just because the villagers were more open to having him around now, that didn't necessarily mean they'd be open to a half-demon actually being personally close to their beloved priestess. Thanks to the other lifetime he'd lived, Inuyasha knew that eventually, with time, they might come around… but for now, it was better for everyone involved if things just stayed between them.
They were allowing themselves to move as slowly as they needed to.
Today, they were sitting by the waterfall. They had been mostly silent, simply enjoying each other's company and the solitude of their thoughts. When Kikyo shifted, though, he could tell she was preparing to say something, and he allowed one of his ears to swivel towards her.
"Can you tell me about her?" She shifted again, her hands in her lap, staring into the falling water with a thoughtful expression. "This Kagome."
"She was… kind. And optimistic. Always looking on the fuckin' bright side." Slowly, Inuyasha let out a breath. "A lot like I think you woulda been if you'd been happy from the start."
"I see. So am I nothing more than a replacement Kagome to you?"
He had been asked that question before, in another lifetime, and still, the answer remained the same. Gently, he reached over to cover her hand with his own. "Never."