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They had lost the match. They’d finally teamed up after all this time, yet they still lost the match. Walking to the locker room, Reo clenched his teeth. His fellow teammates seemed to float in through his peripheral vision.
He felt a hot weight against his back. Insistently pressing against him, Nagi had relaxed his whole bodyweight, arms wrapping securely around Reo’s midsection.
“We lost, but I’m happy,” he said.
“What are you doing…?” Reo felt his whole body heat up as the tight hold those gropey hands had on him. It almost felt like Nagi was intentionally squishing his flesh in the process.
“I missed you,” Nagi spoke again. He buried his face against the back of Reo’s neck, as if to repeat, I need you, as he had earlier in the match.
Reo rested a hand on Nagi’s. “You too,” he mumbled, feeling a little like he was losing a battle, “Missed you, too.”
Nagi’s face rubbed against the nape of his neck in satisfaction. Curious about the expression on the striker’s face, Reo gently unclasped Nagi’s hands, turning to face him. His eyes were soft, pupils dilated, and as soon as Reo faced him, Nagi had already grabbed him by the waist, pulling him against his chest for another hug, letting his whole bodyweight melt against Reo. Nagi’s fingers gripped him tightly still, digging into his skin as if he was about to lift him up at any moment.
“Reo,” he mumbled, but nothing else followed.
He’d never seen such a vulnerable side of Nagi, right in front of the locker room. Almost as if he was desperate, like he couldn’t wait any longer. Reo could barely bring himself to feel upset anymore, such was the hold Nagi had on him, both literally and figuratively. Despite all the feelings he’d circled through in the past few weeks, and even in the match just now, he felt a little more quiet now. All of a sudden, his thoughts had come hurtling to a stop, and it was finally quiet and peaceful again, and he felt right and complete with Nagi clutching him to his chest. Finally things were as they were supposed to be.
Would it last? Reo’s heart skipped a beat, thinking of all that Nagi had said to him during the match. His thoughts spiralled. Even though Nagi had chosen Isagi before, he’d never really lied to Reo. At the end of the day, though he was a little less sentimental than Reo, a part of him had felt for a long time that Nagi did care. In his own way. Nagi cared about him. Did he?
Without truly realising, Reo’s chest grew tight and his breaths got faster. He panicked, feeling involuntary tears prick his eyes, and he thrashed against Nagi’s tight hold.
“Wait—“ he gasped for air. It was still quiet, his feelings weren’t of sadness, they were catharsis.
(Okay, maybe Reo was panicking a little too. Maybe he hadn’t always been confident that Nagi actually cared.)
“Reo? What’s wrong?” Nagi now held him at an arm’s length, brows ever so slightly furrowed, mouth slightly downturned. It may be subtle, but Reo could read the concern on his face. Even now, that made him a little happy.
“I just,” Reo averted his eyes, “I’m confused.”
“About…” Nagi urged.
“About—“
“Hurry up, you two!” Chris Prince slapped Nagi’s back, wearing his signature beam. “We may have lost this match, but it doesn’t end here! Stop stalling!”
Nagi gave a curt nod. Only Reo could sense the irritation in this action.
“You can tell me after,” Nagi said, nudging Reo into the changing rooms. His eyes glinted with determination. Reo already knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid this conversation. On the rare occasion that Nagi wanted something, it was his.
While they changed, Nagi stood by Reo’s side, almost too close for comfort. During their communal bath, Nagi once again sat unnervingly close, arm resting on the ledge behind Reo’s back. He never said a thing, any of his potential words would be overshadowed by the rest of the team’s discussion. On how many occasions has Reo come this close to Nagi, fully nude? He tried to think. His heart raced faster.
They had lost the match. Yet, for the first time, Nagi barely felt frustrated. He felt light, elated. For once, a single feeling overshadowed the rest. Finally, he’d made up with Reo. Sort of. He got Reo to say that he missed him. For a moment, he’d felt a sense of equilibrium holding Reo in his arms. He thought maybe this feeling should be prioritised a bit more. Now that he’d come to realise it, after weeks of missing Reo’s touch, his words, his anything, he knew he didn’t want the feeling to leave ever again.
They never ending up talking, after their bath. Prince had held a group strategy meeting to go over their plays, and then it was dinner. Presently, Nagi was heading back to his shared room, stomach still feeling somewhat empty. When would he get the chance to talk to Reo, to extract some form of explanation from him?
Reo had always explained his plans to Nagi with perfect clarity. He had always communicated his thoughts. And then, all of a sudden, Nagi was lost. He’d thought they were perfectly fine, but Reo wouldn’t talk to him. It had been so frustrating, not being able to do a single thing. Nagi had wanted to do something, wanted to act. It wasn’t a pain if he could get Reo back. But he hadn’t known what.
Now, he felt sure that as long as he could talk to Reo again like earlier, he’d be able to win him back somehow.
“Oh,” Nagi stopped short at the entrance to his shared room.
Reo sat perched on his own bed, seemingly lost in thought. He looked up at the intrusion, cheeks becoming distinctly redder when he registered Nagi’s presence.
“Hey,” Reo offered after a beat of silence.
Nagi bit his lip. “Hi,” he mumbled back, coming to sit next to Reo without asking permission. He felt that he wouldn’t be rejected.
“What are you thinking about?” Nagi asked after another, longer beat of silence.
“Nothing,” Reo responded, too quickly.
“C’mon, it’s me,” Nagi said lazily, taking one of Reo’s hands into his own. “Why aren’t you talking to me? I thought we were ok,”
“We…are,” Reo said hesitantly.
Nagi narrowed his eyes. “Reo,” he hoped the other could sense his frustrations without him having to articulate them.
“Tell me about before. When you said you were confused,” he continued, to his own surprise. Nagi had never known the right thing to say. He didn’t know if he was saying the right things, now.
Reo sighed. “Fine,” he said reluctantly. When Nagi asked something of him, after all, Reo always gave in. Nagi had noticed that much. “I’m confused…because I don’t understand your feelings. I don’t know if they’re temporary, and I don’t know what you mean, and I don’t know if you mean it in the way I want…” Reo trailed off, swallowing hard.
Nagi could see this was a sensitive topic to Reo, though he didn’t exactly get it. For now, he would try his best to say the right thing. He wanted to be able to say the things Reo needed to hear.
“My feelings being temporary…I don’t know what you mean by that, Reo, but we made a promise to win the World Cup together. I’ve always been keeping that in mind, that’s always been my end goal. I never wanted to leave you behind. You promised to stay with me, too, I always wanted you by my side,” Nagi had started off strong, but the more he spoke, the less he was sure of his words. He faltered to a stop, taking a breath.
“Do you mean that?” Reo asked hesitantly. “You never forgot about me, or anything?”
“Of course not,” Nagi said earnestly, gripping his hand, eyes widening to really look at him, praying that his feelings could reach Reo just like this, “of course not,”
“Okay,” Reo’s face was flushed again, and he wasn’t looking at him, but there was a small smile on his face.
“And,” there was one part of what Reo had said that Nagi just couldn’t seem to forget, “what did you mean, when you said you don’t know if I mean it in the way you want?”
“Ah—“ Reo drew back his hand, smile disappearing. “That—doesn’t really matter, anyway, it didn’t really mean anything, I don’t know,”
“Reo. I thought you’d stop trying to lie to me by now.” Nagi pouted. Every time he thought they were back to normal, Reo surprised him. He supposed he was too dense to understand what Reo was feeling.
“Just. I said it doesn’t matter, didn’t I?” Reo’s face was heating up, and he looked uncomfortable. Again.
Nagi thought for a moment. Even if he didn’t know what the right thing to say was, because of Reo, he’d have to take a risk.
“What did you want me to mean?” Nagi inched a little closer.
Reo’s breathing hitched. “I…”
“Just tell me, it’s okay,” Nagi urged. One of his hands came to rest on Reo’s thigh, bracketing his body with his arms.
Reo didn’t respond, but his face flushed crimson, eyes wide and watery. Reo had always worn his heart on his sleeve in that way. He was so emotional. Nagi felt a wave of affection for this trait. Reo had always shown that he cared. Nagi had always felt wanted.
“Was it something like this?” Nagi asked, kissing Reo’s forehead, earning a surprised little laugh. “No, that’s not quite right. This?” He kissed Reo’s neck, suddenly unable to resist sucking on the skin as Reo’s hands flew into his hair.
“Nagi?” Reo yelped.
Nagi was having fun with his words now. (Moreso his actions, but he felt a little more confident now.) Maybe it wasn’t quite right, but it was what he could convey. And on the rare occasion when he set out to acquire something he made sure he got it.
“Nah, you’re right. That’s not it either. Whatever it is you were confused about, I meant this,” He drawled, and the hand on Reo’s thigh squeezed, and his other hand cupped Reo’s jaw, and more hesitantly now, he pressed his lips to Reo’s. He’d never kissed anyone before in his life. He barely even had a friend, before Blue Lock, and before Reo. But something inside of Nagi wanted him to keep going, because the feeling of kissing Reo was so dizzying already, and he needed more.
Reo pulled away, apparently stunned into silence for a moment. “Seriously?”
“I, yeah,” Nagi said sheepishly. He didn’t know if Reo had even gotten the message properly. “I like you. Like that , so,”
It was too late to go back at this point. There’s no way Reo didn’t get it this time.
“Nagi,” Reo whispered shakily, giving him a slow smile, “that is exactly how I wanted you to mean it,”
The corners of Nagi’s mouth lifted slightly. “I know you the best, after all,”
“And I like you like that too,” Reo added. His hands, which had been resting on his lap, now finally came to wrap around Nagi’s neck as he pulled him closer.
“Good,” said Nagi. “Really good,”
He leaned closer to kiss Reo again, and now Reo kissed back, melting into his touch, and it was becoming more than just a gentle peck like before. Nagi peeked an eye open. Reo’s eyelids had fluttered shut, his eyebrows furrowed, an intense expression on his face as he gripped Nagi tighter, pulling him into himself. Nagi’s own eyelid closed, the hand on Reo’s thigh now sliding up and down his leg. He felt Reo shiver against him.
“Feel good?” Nagi mumbled against his lips, amused. It seemed he was feeling especially talkative today. Or rather, he was feeling desperate to hear Reo talk to him. For Reo to comfort and assure him with his reactions.
“Yeah,” Reo whispered back, though he sounded embarrassed.
Nagi eased the both of them down on the bed until they were lying down, sort of side by side, sort of tangled up in each other. He raised himself up onto his forearm, and Reo tilted his head up to meet his lips, missing the contact. Nagi’s other hand began to wander again, stroking over Reo’s hip, waist, stomach.
“Nagi,” Reo sighed, tugging him forward by the nape of his neck. Nagi bit his lip in response, licking into his mouth like how he’d seen in movies. A perfect movie kiss. This wasn’t a perfect movie kiss, he thought, squeezing the flesh of Reo’s thighs. As he felt, rather than heard, Reo’s soft sighs and shivers beneath him, Nagi thought this was a little more intense. He wanted more. He needed more. It sounded gross, but Nagi loved the transaction of saliva, the wetness of Reo’s mouth, the leisurely desperate way they exchanged kisses. He felt like he was drinking up Reo’s essence, and his feelings. He was greedily taking everything he could get, in this one kiss, and Reo was giving it to him without question. He was surprised to feel the pads of Reo’s fingers slipping up his sweater, touching the planes of his abs and chest. The sensation made his skin tingle, and Nagi wanted to be touched more. A soft moan escaped his mouth before he could notice, and this only seemed to encourage Reo, though Nagi found it a bit embarrassing to make such noises rather than extorting them from Reo.
Reo grabbed him by the collar of his sweater, swinging his thigh over Nagi’s body, and Nagi allowed himself to be flipped onto his back as Reo crouched over him, sitting on his abdomen, hot kisses making their way down Nagi’s jaw and neck. Once he found a particular spot that made Nagi tense, he stayed there, undoubtedly sucking a hickey into his skin. A strangled gasp escaped Nagi’s mouth. His breathing had become louder, and he couldn’t get it to quiet down. Reo had moved onto another spot now, teeth grazing his skin lightly. Nagi felt like he was about to burst. The stimulation was almost too much. He gripped Reo harder.
Eventually, Reo returned to his mouth. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,”
Nagi wished they had been doing this already. He’d missed out on so many months of Reo.
Reo like this.
“You better stop,” Nagi said playfully. “You’re making me…too excited.”
Reo laughed gently against his lips. “Nagi, excited? Yeah right,”
Nagi lifted his hips against Reo without saying anything, sure that Reo would now be able to detect his pulsing erection.
“Oh—“ Reo was cut off, as Nagi rolled over again, allowing his body to rest against Reo’s, face squished into the crook of his neck as he breathed deeply.
“You’re huge, y’know,” Reo complained, squirming beneath his full weight.
“You fucked up, Reo. I don’t ever want to let you go now,” Nagi said shamelessly. He really wasn’t acting like himself today, was he. Reo brought strange feelings out of him. Because of Reo, he felt just a little more alive. Right now, he felt very alive. A lethargic, malleable puddle in Reo’s arms, but alive nonetheless. He kissed Reo’s chest and neck.
“We don’t have to do anything now,” Nagi reassured him. Things were happening fast. He thought Reo may be overwhelmed.
“I—“ Reo’s whole body seemed to flush as he glanced away shyly, hand still in Nagi’s hair.
The door of their shared room swung open, Chigiri obliviously padding in, a towel around his neck. Evidently, he’d just come back from his shower.
“Oh, hey Nagi,” he said casually.
Then Chigiri did a double take, squinting to make sure he was really seeing Reo beneath Nagi, the two of them looking very suspicious, and that it wasn’t a hallucination.
“Oh—! Um, my bad, I didn’t know, I,” Chigiri backed away, eyes still slightly widened.
“Chigiri, it’s fine, chill,” Nagi said, flopping onto Reo (to hide his boner).
“No, no, really, I’m just gonna,” before he could finish his sentence, Chigiri had already departed. Nagi heard thudding footsteps, running down the hallway.
“Rude,” he mumbled.
“What?” Reo laughed.
“He didn’t have to seem so traumatised by our relationship,” Nagi said, lifting his head to peek up at Reo.
“Relationship?” Reo asked somewhat nervously. He sure blushed a lot. Nagi supposed he shouldn’t be too surprised. It was pretty cute.
“Well, whatever this is,” Nagi shrugged. He felt a nervous pang in his chest, once again unsure as to what Reo was going to say.
“I don’t want you to leave,” Reo began. “I want…to have you all to myself,”
So, he wanted to be exclusive. The corners of Nagi’s lips twitched upwards. Not that he had ever thought of anyone but Reo in this way. It wasn’t like anyone aside from Reo would be able to extract these kinda of feelings from him.
“Me too,” Nagi agreed. “So, relationship.” He concluded.
“Like, boyfriend?” Reo asked, eyes screwed up in thought. “Are you sure you’ll be okay with that, with Blue Lock and all?”
“I don’t really care about those kinds of complications. For me, it’s simple. I just wanna be with you, the circumstances don’t matter,” Nagi replied, squirming lower to rest his cheek on Reo’s chest. He didn’t really want to Reo to see his face right now. Normally, he would never have so much as changed his facial expression at all. Right now, he had a suspicion that he didn’t look as apathetic as usual.
Reo’s hands carded through his hair gently. “Okay,”
He said nothing more, but Nagi could tell that he was assured by his words. Talking was tiring. Nagi hoped it’d be a while before he had to verbalise so many feelings like this. (He had already begun to enjoy teasing Reo. Why didn’t he do this more often again?)
Nagi willed the tightness in his pants to subside as he curled his body around Reo. This was a quiet moment, after all. He wanted to take things—not slowly, but. Perhaps leisurely.