Between the lines

by Rubato

Summary:

"Tian

I repeat your name endlessly and engrave it on paper,
So that my hands can learn the shapes of it."

A letter from Jiu to Tian.

[translated from French]

Notes:

Disclaimer: this work was originally published in French and I decided to translate it. It's not a literal translation as I found some metaphors and expressions couldn't be translated exactly the same, so I changed some parts for it to be better suited to English.

A short one shot to externalise the grip To Sir With Love has on me. Inspired by the scene where Jiu copies Tian's name on paper to practice writing.

Tian

I repeat your name endlessly and engrave it on paper,

So that my hands can learn the shapes of it.

Tian

Each line is more confident, sturdier,

Crystalizing this blooming affection in my heart.

Tian

Behind each character, there is a glimpse of your smile, a hint of your gentle humor,

Behind each character, there is the warmth of your hand, put on mine.

Tian

I wish I could write you a thousand letters, fill them with my secrets and my memories,

Share with you some anecdotes that made me smile, some torments that made me cry,

I wish I could tell you every uninteresting detail of everyday life,

Welcome you in every day of my life.

Tian

There are shadows haunting me that you’re still unaware of,

Those hands you tenderly guide to write,

Do you know they are stained with blood?

Tian

Would you forgive me if you knew I’m the hand sent to take your heart?

Would you forgive me if I told you it’s you who took mine?

Tian

I was but an unknown actor in the tragic opera that is life,

A nameless face that you catch sight of in passing,

And yet, through the crowd, your eyes found me,

Under your gaze, in a fleeting moment, I came to life.

Tian

That night, I still remember the sight of your back walking away,

That night, I wish time had given us an eternity.

Tian

I am nobody, a mere puppet in the hands of powerful men,

An invisible shadow in dark alleys,

But in your hands, there is this other person with dreams and hopes,

This man who feels seen for the first time.

Tian

Between your hands, the string puppet becomes flesh,

My hands, too intimate with toil and death,

Are now creating indelible prints on paper,

My eyes, too often blinded by this world’s ugliness,

Know now how to travel through words.

Tian

With infinite patience, your hand kindly guiding mine,

You gifted me with the keys to a world of possibilities.

Tian

I wish I could offer you a rose,

Taste its sweet sugar on your lips.

Tian

I wish I could give you these elegant and eloquent words you deserve,

Those beautiful love letters like the ones in your favorite books,

If only I could gift you with a tale worthy of enduring times. 

Tian

I wish I was stronger,

But your name haunts every fiber of my being.

Tian

I only know how to write your name,

Again and again, until filling this whole paper with it,

Like you made yours every corner of my mind.

Tian

Between every line, between every letter,

There is only my love for you.

Notes:

Thank you for reading, kudos and comments are more than welcome! :)