Chapter Text
Takemichi didn’t understand why he felt so… bad. Mikey and him had changed the timeline, saved everyone and yet he felt so empty as he stood in the chapel. Was this the right thing to do? Everyone was happy, so why wasn’t he happy?
“ I'm gonna be lonely, Takemitchy .” Mikey’s words made Takemichi feel ill. One of his biggest motivators, probably his biggest motivator of them all, was seeing Mikey happy. He wanted Mikey to be happy. How, after saving everyone, did he end up leaving Mikey behind again? Was this really the perfect future they’d been hoping for? Takemichi had said before that the worst pain was loneliness and Mikey was in front of him saying he was lonely... What did that even mean?
When Mikey smiled at him, he knew something was wrong.
There was something about the wedding vows that Takemichi disliked. Maybe it was the notion of forever and how long that truly entailed. Maybe it was the idea that no matter what happened, he was supposed to love and cherish Hina. Maybe it was the way everyone was smiling so brightly, except Mikey, who was smiling like he did back in Manila and in the video tape about the dark impulses.
Everyone else was almost too happy. Takemichi was thankful his friends were so content, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was sacrificing something for them to have that happiness.
Thing is, he was willing to sacrifice for them. He was willing to take on anything, give up anything, if it made everyone else happy. There was one very big oversight though. An oversight Takemichi wasn’t sure how to deal with.
Manjiro Sano .
Mikey had a tendency to self-sacrifice, Takemichi knew that, and yet… Maybe he’d hoped- assumed- now that Mikey didn’t have to deal with the dark impulses, he’d be more selfish. What did Mikey even want? Has he ever said anything about wanting before?
‘ I wanted you to stay with me ’ popped into Takemichi’s head from the first future he saw Mikey in. Was that still true? Did he want Takemichi to stay with him? He was technically with him - they were friends- they stood together through thick and thin and yet… that didn’t seem like enough.
He didn’t even know what compelled Kisaki to pay for the wedding, when he still would look at Hina with such a desperate expression. He didn’t understand why Kisaki pushed him towards Hina, even though at the time he wasn’t sure about being near her. Maybe Kisaki was also sacrificing for everyone’s happiness. Maybe he paid for their wedding because of Hina. Maybe he’d pushed Takemichi to get closer with Hina so he had a reason not to do so himself?
Takemichi wasn’t sure how to feel about it all.
He didn’t understand how South just appeared out of nowhere to befriend Mikey and join Toman… He didn’t understand how Ran and Rindou joined their group, how Izana reconciled things with Shin in such a cheerful way. There were so many things in this future that made him feel off .
“You don’t look like you just got married,” Chifuyu sat near him at the reception while Hina danced with people. She was pretty- she’d always been pretty, but Takemichi couldn’t help but glance over at Mikey every few seconds.
“What do you mean by that?” Takemichi asked as if he himself hadn’t felt sort of off about the whole ordeal.
“You don’t look..” Chifuyu put a hand to his chin. “… happy?”
“I am,” Takemichi lied as though Chifuyu would believe it.
When Takemichi looked over to his friend, there was a look in his eyes as if he knew something, but what was there to know? Takemichi’s only real secret was the time leaping and he hadn’t told Chifuyu about that this time. and who would randomly guess he was a time leaper?
Chifuyu looked a little uncomfortable as he responded, “If you say so.”
At the end of the reception Mikey, he saw Mikey chatting with Senju. Maybe he’d been wrong about everything… Takemichi felt a wave of guilt come over him. How egotistical was it that he thought Mikey wasn’t happy because they’d be separated? Mikey was currently racing professionally, one of the most popular bachelors, who could probably date any girl he wanted to. There was no reason for him to be sad about Takemichi.
“Takemichi!” Hina called him over and he went to sit next to her. Mikey was one of the people to give a speech and as he spoke Takemichi knew his earlier assessment of them was wrong. “Takemichi,” Mikey spoke directly to him, “I’ve been with you since we were kids. You’re the type of person to run in, even when it looked hopeless. Hina is very lucky to be marrying a man as gentle and kind as you… but!”
Mikey looked at him as if he were going to lecture him, “You can’t be reckless anymore.”
Yeah, he was wrong about Mikey. Whether he felt it was a good or bad thing was yet to be decided.
Takemichi wasn't sure he liked married life. Maybe it was the mundane tasks, the monotony of it all. He went to work, came home, and ate dinner with Hina. She would clean everything and made him dinner every damn night like some kind of maid. It was kind of sad to watch someone as strong and resilient as Hina, someone he spent so much time trying to save, live like that. She seemed happy enough, but Takemichi didn't understand how someone could be happy living like that.
They'd never went on a honeymoon. Takemichi wasn't sure whether he was disappointed or relieved. A honeymoon usually entailed sex and while he'd already been intimate with Hina a few times, he wasn't really craving doing it. Being with Hina felt sort of like kissing a fish... a nice fish? but a fish nonetheless. If being intimate was like this, he really didn't understand the hype. He hoped it wasn't blatantly obvious that he was avoiding it.
"Takemichi," Hina greeted him one night while doing the dishes. There was something on in the oven too, but Takemichi wasn't too curious about it. He honestly felt sort of sick to his stomach. "How did things go at work today?"
Takemichi threw himself down on the couch, "It was normal... pretty boring."
Hina walked over to him and leaned down to kiss him. It was a soft and chaste kiss, but Takemichi didn't really feel anything. Maybe he wasn't trying hard enough? He tried pulling her in again, pressing their lips together as Hina climbed on top of him. There wasn't really a spark and rather than having his stomach flip, he just felt sick. Takemichi continued to try, grabbing her chest as she moved her hips against him. Takemichi felt his body respond to the touch... His pants suddenly felt too tight.
Hina was attractive, he couldn't deny that, but being with her felt so numbing .
Before they could go any further an alarm went off, "Oops!" She jumped off of him and for some reason relief flowed through his body. "Let me just take this out of the oven and if you want... we can..."
Takemichi wanted to try, "Sure."
They ate dinner in silence. Hina had cooked some chicken and vegetables. She was a good cook... the chicken tasted perfect, just spicy enough for Takemichi, but not so spicy he couldn't stomach it. Hina knew him- she knew what he liked to eat, his coffee order.. She knew what movies he preferred and how he needed a small light on when he slept. Hina knew so much about him, yet he felt completely clueless when it came to her. She was his wife, but she didn't feel familiar at all.
Later that night when Hina got on top of him, he decided to try again. He desperately wanted to feel something. Maybe Takemichi had unrealistic expectations from directing romance movies? Maybe he wasn't doing it right?
Hina pushed her hair behind her ear and Takemichi's mind instantly flew to Mikey. What if Mikey was on top of him? What if Mikey was the one pressing down on him, moving his hips awkwardly as they touched each other all over. What would it be like to have sex with Mikey? How would that even work?
He closed his eyes, imagining it even further as Hina fumbled with the zipper of his pants. When Mik- Hina put her hands on his dick, Takemichi let out a small moan. What if Mikey was there? It felt wrong- whatever he was doing with this fantasy, but it was the most turned on he’d ever felt.
“Manjiro,” Takemichi whimpered. Takemichi realized his mistake instantly, eyes flying open and taking in a breath.
Hina looked up at him, with his dick still in her mouth. For some odd reason, his brain instantly pictured what it’d look like to have Mikey looking up at him like that… His dark black eyes with an undertone of mirth, him licking the tip as he smirked. It didn’t help that Mikey had long blonde hair up until recently and Hina had similarly long lighter hair. “What was that?” She asked.
He couldn’t think of any swear words he could pretend he said, so instead he decided to say, “I just went mmmm-” ‘ Nice one dumbass ,’ his brain supplied as he ignored the questioning look in Hina’s eyes.
There was a baby shower for Emma and Draken’s kid. Hina informed him it was supposed to be a girl, so they should buy pink and purple-ish things. Takemichi never understood the whole colors equating to gender thing. Mikey probably would look amazing in pink and he has a more stereotypically feminine look, but he was still a guy.
As they looked around the shop, Takemichi almost bumped into Mikey. “Oh-“
“Takemitchy-“ The first thing Takemichi noticed about him were the bags under his eyes. It looked like he wasn’t sleeping well. It worried him a little bit. Was Mikey okay?
There was a moment of silence before Mikey continued, “Are you looking for a gift to give Emma and Draken?”
“Yeah,” Takemichi responded, looking over to the baby clothes on the rack, “Any recommendations?”
“Emma probably wants pink things,” Mikey scratched the back of his neck, “No phrases on them or anything-”
“I see,” Takemichi responded.
“So what’s it like to be married?” Mikey asked out of the blue.
“It’s alright,” Takemichi responded. He didn’t really know how to describe it. Marriage almost felt like an obligation at this point. “Do you ever plan on getting married?” Takemichi blurted. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the answer, but maybe a part of him wanted to confirm Mikey had plans for the future and wanted to do something-
“No,” Mikey answered. “I don’t think I want to get married.”
“Oh,” Takemichi shrugged, “Can I ask why not?”
Mikey seemed to be thinking about it carefully before responding, ”Just doesn’t seem like an option for me.”
“So there’s no one you’re interested in?” Takemichi asked. He wasn’t sure why exactly he was asking, but the words kept falling out like someone had broken a faucet.
“Well,” Mikey started, “No one I can marry.”
Takemichi didn’t know what he meant by that, but before he could ask anything more, HIna walked over, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Hey Mikey!”
Takemichi could’ve sworn he saw Mikey wince, “Hello.” Mikey had looked slightly uncomfortable the whole time they’d been talking, but now it looked much worse. He wouldn’t even meet Takemichi’s eyes as he spoke, “How are you?”
“Pretty good!” Hina responded, before holding up a baby outfit with some words on it, “Do you think Emma will like this?”
Mikey glanced at it momentarily before looking back to the ground, “Yeah totally.” Mikey was most definitely lying. He’d said mere moments before Emma didn’t want anything with shitty catch phrases on it. Why would he lie about that?
“I have to go,” Mikey responded, turning and walking away before Takemichi could even say goodbye.
Emma and Draken had their baby shower soon after. Mikey was in the corner watching as Emma ripped through gifts and showed them to everyone. As per usual, Takemichi gravitated to Mikey. “You look bored,” Takemichi commented as he sat near Mikey.
“I thought I was being conspicuous..” Mikey looked over replying sarcastically, a small laugh escaping him. He still wouldn’t meet Takemichi’s gaze, but he seemed calmer than before. Maybe it was best their eyes didn’t meet after Takemichi’s fantasies about them locking eyes.
There was a slightly awkward pause before Mikey asked, “So how’s married life?”
Takemichi looked up as he pondered how to answer, “Mmm…” If Takemichi were being honest, married life was boring as hell. It’s not like it was horrible, but to Takemichi it just felt dull. He scratched the side of his head, “It’s average?”
“Average huh?” Mikey responded.
“It’s just sort of boring,” Takemichi explained. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad… just redundant.”
“I see,” Mikey hummed. “So a big change from when we were younger.”
“Yeah,” Takemichi agreed, “I kinda miss it… if I’m being honest.”
Mikey sighed, “I do too.” Mikey had a very forlorn look as he spoke. Takemichi didn’t know how to respond to it.
“How’s the racing going?” Takemichi asked.
“I have a big race coming up soon actually,” Mikey informed him. “Draken will kill me if I mess it up, so I’ve been practicing a lot lately.”
“I’ll have to watch one of your races sometime,” Takemichi commented idly. Mikey had never invited him to one of his races before, but Takemichi had always been a bit curious about them.
“You can come watch whenever,” Mikey hesitated to respond. He finally looked over at Takemichi. There was something absolutely tragic in his gaze, but Takemichi couldn’t really pinpoint what it was.
Hina looked around for a moment before spotting Takemichi and waving him over. He didn’t really want to leave Mikey, but Hina was his wife… “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yeah,” Mikey responded, “Sure.”
A little while after the wedding and baby shower, Takemichi met with Mikey at the race track. He’d had a little bit before work that day and Mikey had said he could come watch him whenever, so he decided to take up the offer.
Mikey was preparing for a race and Takemichi was supposed to be headed to a movie shoot in a couple hours... He could be spending time with his wife and yet he found himself in front of Mikey again. It was always Mikey he ended up with. He was supposed to be with his wife. He was supposed to go to work and come home to have a drink with her and watch romcom's so horrid that even Chifuyu wouldn't touch them. He was supposed to touch her- love her, but the only time he really felt something was with Mikey. She was his wife… He was supposed to live his life this way. Why was that again?
Mikey was walking over after speaking to some guy at the race track. Takemichi had been here a few times before, but with the wedding he hadn’t had as much time to be there. When he and Mikey’s eyes met, Takemichi tried to ignore the guilty feeling that was chewing at him. He felt oddly bad that he basically used Mikey for jack-off material.
“Hey Takemitchy,” Mikey called out to him with a smile. The way his racing outfit hugged his body should be illegal. “How are you?”
“I’m alright,” Takemichi responded desperately trying to rid his mind of dirty thoughts, “Just trying to adjust to married life.”
Whatever grin Mikey had been wearing fell off instantly. He looked away, "I'm happy for you."
Takemichi almost believed him, but the way his lips quivered as he faked a smile was so obvious. After spending years with Mikey, his gut feeling about Mikey's emotions turned into knowing his actual tells: he way he'd close his eyes and smile when he wasn't really happy, as if he couldn't fake the expression while he looked at you, the way he fiddled with his hands and tuck his hair behind his ear when he was nervous- as if he needed to keep his hands busy, how he clenched his fists, nails digging into his palm when he was trying to conceal anger.
Was he right though? He hadn’t been spending as much time with Mikey lately, so his assumptions may be completely wrong. He probably shouldn’t assume- seeing as it can easily make an ass out of you.
Except, Mikey had been acting differently in the few times they’d seen each other. He was more anxious and standoffish. He seemed really on edge about something… but what was it?
“Can I be honest with you?” Mikey asked. The question took Takemichi off guard- along with the way Mikey’s whole demeanor changed. What was up with him?
“Sure,” Takemichi responded. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear this though.
“I want you to stop talking to me,” Mikey explained. It felt sort of like time stopped. Takemichi’s mind went blank for a moment, unable to process the request. When Takemichi’s mind finally caught up, he looked right at Mikey.
“What?” Takemichi blurted. “Why?”
“It’s just…” Mikey took a deep breath, “You should be with your wife-”
“Why do you ask me about that so much?” Now that Takemichi thought about it, Mikey had brought it up a lot during their recent conversations. At the time, he wrote it off as Mikey thinking about marrying someone else, but now it felt a bit different.
“Why does it matter?” Mikey shot back, venom in his words.
Takemichi was beyond confused, “It matters because it’s you !”
“Well you need to stop thinking about it like that!” Mikey told him. Why would Mikey say that?
“Why?” Takemichi pushed. “What is with you?”
“What’s with me?” Mikey asked, “What’s with you? How can you, a married man, talk to me like you do?”
“We’re friends-”
Mikey looked away, “I can’t believe you’re this dense.”
“What are you talking about,” Takemichi shot back. He was getting annoyed as this conversation continued. Why was Mikey pushing him away? “Did I do something?”
Mikey sighed, “It just hurts too much, Takemitchy.”
Before he could think too much on it, Takemichi held out his hand. He wasn't sure why he did it or if he expected them to leap back in time. They'd held hands before and didn't fly back in time, but with this new information… he didn’t want to leave Mikey in pain.
“What are you doing?” Mikey asked, irritated. Maybe Mikey didn’t want to go back in time. Maybe he wasn’t actually in pain. Maybe… maybe he just didn’t want Takemichi around…
Takemichi married Hina. They were married, but all he could think about was making sure Mikey was happy. He’d given up his marriage once before to save Mikey… so maybe..
“Just take my hand,” Takemichi pushed his hand out closer to Mikey’s.
Maybe Takemichi did it to confirm Mikey was happy- but Takemichi should be happy and if he was happy… If he didn’t want to go to the past, they wouldn’t fly back in time. He had a normal life, everyone was happy. This was just a precaution. They wouldn’t actually go back in time.
Except when Mikey grabbed his hand, they did.