Chapter Text
Choi Beomgyu has always known that he is different from many ordinary people.
This realisation dawned on him years ago when he was merely seven years old. While children his age were busy finding new toys to play with, Beomgyu would rather spend his time looking at people and finding things out about them. Even as a child, he was very observant. Eerily so, as his mother liked to say back then when he used to point out things about her friends; she doesn’t like you, she’s only friends with you because you’re rich, you should stay away from that man, Dad wouldn’t like it if he knows that he likes you.
Something about humans has always made him feel amazed. Even right now as he watches his classmate fall from the rooftop of the school, he realises how fragile a human body is. It was an accident, honest to God. A single push without much force can cause death. Beomgyu did not mean to kill him, he swears. They were merely having an argument. Frustrated, he had let it out by shoving his classmate. Perhaps, he should have been more mindful of the fact that they were a little too close to the ledge and the ledge is low; low enough for the boy to fall down to his death just by a mere push. However, he has no regrets. Instead, he just watches even when the boy lands on the ground with a loud crack. Even from this height, Beomgyu can tell that the boy’s eyes are wide open in shock.
Knowing that he could get charged as a minor for this, Beomgyu knows he has to act fast if he wants to get away scot-free. He does not want to be sent to a juvenile centre and leave a record. Besides, he likes to think that he is a little too pretty and sensitive to live there. There is no way he can survive sharing a shower, a room or even food with a bunch of strangers.
Soon enough, he can hear screams and shouts of alarm downstairs. It is only a matter of time before the police arrives. It is thrilling as he looks around for anything that can help him. Seeing the backpack at the corner of the rooftop, he quickly grabs it and rummages around to grab a notebook inside. He rips off a page from the notebook and takes a pen that he finds in the backpack to write a suicide note. He uses the previous pages from the notebook as reference to forge the boy’s handwriting and it is pretty easy to do it. If there is one thing that he is good at, it is this.
Satisfied, he keeps the notebook and pen back inside and clutches the fake suicide note in his hand. He goes nearer to the ledge and schools his face into one of grief and disbelief. He closes his eyes and forces himself to feel. He lets fear and sorrow wash over him by thinking of the times he has ever felt that way; the fear that overwhelmed him when his father locked him in a dark room as a punishment for killing a rat in the most horrendous way possible and the sorrow that filled up his heart when his grandmother passed away.
It is pretty easy. A few moments later, his hands begin shaking and tears form in his eyes as soon as he opens them. He hates feeling, honestly, because he feels too much when he does but this is a situation that calls for it.
A second later, he hears footsteps from the staircase that leads to the rooftop. Soon enough, he is surrounded by armed police officers who seem wary of him.
In the most heartbroken way possible, Beomgyu looks up and lets his tears fall. His whole body is still trembling as he remembers the two incidents that help him feel the two emotions he needs right now. Yet, his mind stays focused on the task at hand.
“I-I tried to s-stop him,” he stutters. “He told me to back off and then he just slipped and–” His voice breaks at the end as more tears well up in his eyes.
It seems like that simple sentence is enough to make the police officers stop treating him like a threat as their hands stop reaching for their guns. After all, what can a seventeen-year-old kid do, anyway?
Afterwards, everything happens so fast. They take the note from his hands and he is called into the station to give his statement. His parents also have to come all the way to Seoul from Daegu due to this incident. The wait is long as it takes three hours to get here but once his parents have arrived, it does not take long for them to take down his statement as not much investigation is needed. It is by sheer dumb luck that the boy who died had history of self-harm so the suicide note is not much of a surprise. Beomgyu must have been an angel in his previous life to receive such good luck in this life. A suicide or an accident. Or accidental suicide. Either way, he manages to get away scot-free.
However, it seems like his father thinks otherwise. Beomgyu is given a week off from school and his parents insist on bringing him back home instead of letting him stay in Seoul Boarding School, which is funny since they are the ones who sent him there to get away from him. On the way back to Daegu, his father says gravely, “I don’t know who you got it from or how you turned out this way but you’re the Devil himself.”
Ever since he was young, he has always landed himself in so much trouble. This is not the first time that his father has called him the Devil. It is something that he has learnt to stop taking offense at. In fact, he likes to think of it as a compliment. The Devil may seem evil in biblical stories and even if he does not think he is evil per se, he is not entirely innocent either. If that is his identity then so be it.
“Honey…” his mother says softly.
Beomgyu, who is sitting at the back of the car, is unfazed. He looks at the front of the car nonchalantly as his father steals gazes at him from the mirror. All traces of his tears are gone as soon as his father says that. Like a switch, he turns off the emotions that he has been forcing himself to feel. There is no use in pretending to be sad and scared anymore. His goal has been achieved and his parents care too much about their own image to turn him in and be labelled as a murderer’s parents. He can only imagine the ridicule that they would face in front of their other relatives.
“This has to be the first and last time,” his father says in the most intimidating tone as possible.
As a child, Beomgyu used to be afraid of his father. His father has always been the one punishing him for all his misdeeds. Just like when he killed that rat with his bare hands. He caught it himself and snapped its neck in two before using the kitchen knife to dissect its body when he was nine. Who could blame him, really? He was a curious boy. He just wanted to see what was inside the rat’s tiny body. In fact, his father should have been grateful that he caught the rat that had been scurrying around in their trash.
Instead of gratitude, his father was horrified. As a result, he was locked up in a dark room without food or drink for a day to reflect on what he had done. Even to this day, he finds nothing wrong with what he did to the rat. Rats are pests. Other people kill rats too, what is so wrong with that? Him dissecting it afterwards is merely a scientific curiosity. It is not like he enjoyed doing it to the rat. He was just curious about its insides.
Over time, he stops being afraid of his father. As he grows older and stronger, he realises that there is nothing his father can do to stop him. Threats will not work against him. He is no longer afraid of the dark. People would think that he would be traumatised from the long hours he spent inside the dark room during his childhood days. However, Beomgyu has never been one to back down from challenges. He has overcome that fear and the dark room scares him no more, not that his father ever knows about it, anyways.
“There’s no proof that he did it. He literally just witnessed his classmate die, for God’s sake. Can you give him a break?” his mother reprimands, snapping him back to reality.
That does not do anything to quell his father’s anger, though. Instead, his father replies, “He may have fooled all those police officers, his teachers and classmates but I know him. He did it, no doubt. Look at him right now. Do you think that’s the face of someone who’s sad over his classmate’s death?”
Beomgyu blinks at that. Bubbles of irrational laughter rise in his throat and he struggles to hold them back. It seems like he has failed as he starts bursting into a fit of giggles. His father is right. He did it, although unintentionally. It is then he sees the fear in his parents’ faces through the mirror. It is that moment of realisation that makes Beomgyu even more gleeful; what have they brought into this world? Who are they protecting?
“It won’t be my first and last, though,” Beomgyu singsongs happily. “You know, Dad, you should be more careful about what you say to me. You might be next.”
The car is silent afterwards.
As expected, as soon as he arrives home, he is sent straight into the dark room for the first time in a long time.
“Reflect on yourself,” his father has said before locking him in there.
Reflecting is exactly what he does. The day’s events play in his head as he slides down against the wall to sit cross-legged in the dark. He tries to identify what he was feeling when he saw his own classmate fall to his death. There was a thrill running through his veins for sure. Thrill and excitement. A rush that he had never felt before. He has never felt more alive. That was his first kill and he sure as hell knows that he will not let it be his last, as his father has hoped. Life is too short not to relive that experience again.
His first kill has made him realise something, though. His scientific curiosity runs deeper than merely the insides of a rat’s body. Seeing how the human body was easily broken just by a simple push from high above makes him want to study more about it. From this incident, his interest in human anatomy has been planted deep inside. It is then he knows exactly what he wants to do with his life which is a privilege, honestly. Not many people know which career path they want to take at seventeen.
Beomgyu snorts to himself. This is probably not the kind of reflection that his father is expecting him to do. He figures that he just needs to wait a little longer before he is free to do whatever he wants. He does not need the police station to call his parents in again when something a little too murderous happens around him. He has to wait patiently until he turns legal before he stops needing his guardians to come whenever something bad happens and he is somehow involved in it. He does not know what his parents intend to do if this happens again and he refuses to find out. Sure, he is not afraid of them but he would rather avoid facing them. It is mercy on his part to keep them out of his business.
Done with his reflection, Beomgyu lies down on the floor and closes his eyes peacefully, waiting for the next day to come.
Contrary to popular belief, Beomgyu is not a psychopath.
In his Theories of Criminology class, Beomgyu has learnt about the traits of a psychopath. They say that psychopaths lack empathy and sympathy. However, Beomgyu does not think he lacks those. In fact, he may even feel too much sometimes. Sure, maybe he is strange but he does not think that he is a psychopath.
This nickname has been given to him in that very class. The lecturer had shown all the students a question on screen:
A girl is attending her mother’s funeral. There, she meets a guy who is amazing and is definitely her ideal type. She falls in love with him at first sight. A few days later, she kills her sister. What do you think is her motive in killing her sister?
A couple of hands raised and many people answered something along the lines of “her sister slept with the guy” or “that’s her sister’s boyfriend” or “the guy fell in love with her sister and she was jealous”.
However, Beomgyu had a different answer than the rest. When his lecturer’s eyes fell on him and asked him to share what he thought the motive was, he simply said, “Because she wanted to see the guy again. She thought he might come to her sister’s funeral so she killed her to see him again.” At the time, he did not expect much.
Yet, a smile formed on his lecturer’s face. “That, my students,” she said, “is what usually psychopaths would answer. Even so, it is important to note that this question is in no way a valid form of diagnosis for psychopathy.”
That was when the rumours started surrounding him. People think he is freaky. And not the good kind in bed. Just plain freaky with malicious and murderous intent. Perhaps, they are not so wrong, especially since Beomgyu did kill someone, intentions be damned. He still does it, sometimes, when he is bored.
Sometimes, he asks Taehyun to hack into the university’s medical records and find students who are struggling with depression. Taehyun has never questioned why. Best friend privileges, he guesses. Or, maybe, Taehyun already knows the truth about him and simply does not care. Once he finds a student he is interested in, he will carefully approach them and get to know them.
Psychopaths lack sympathy and empathy, they say. On the contrary, Beomgyu actually feels for his victims. He can actually understand where they are coming from and he tries his best to soothe them. At times, he even almost cries for them. See? How is that psychopathic? He has sympathy and empathy in him. He is also very much capable of love. He loves his parents, even if they are afraid of him. He loves his older brother, his parrot pet and his best friend. Most importantly, he loves paintings and poems; his hobbies that he does not get to explore a lot due to his busy schedule.
Befriending them is not enough, he also ends up encouraging them to take the step that they are afraid of taking. He is practically doing them a favour, really. They no longer want to be a part of this world. He is simply making them brave enough to make it a reality.
Rather than a psychopath, Beomgyu prefers to be labelled as the Devil instead. Psychopaths have malicious connotations to the term. Devil, however, simply means he is mischievous and does things with no regard in spite of being a symbol of evil. Besides, the typical backgrounds of psychopaths are absent fathers and overbearing mothers. They kill animals for fun when they are young and sometimes even still pee in their bed when they are too old to do that. Beomgyu is definitely none of those.
Okay, he did kill a rat when he was nine. But that was because rats are pests. He has never once killed kittens or puppies. He actually absolutely loves them and intends to adopt a puppy someday. Him dissecting the rat was not to torture it but to see its insides. Why blame him for his morbid curiosity? If anything, his morbid curiosity can actually help the society. He does not flinch when seeing blood, he is not afraid of anything sharp, he is not fearful of dead carcasses. Where can you find someone like that? He will make the perfect person on the medical field. Or in forensic pathology since dead bodies are his area of interest, apparently.
Sure, he indulges in his urge to kill, sometimes. Although, it may be argued that, technically, he did not kill the students. They were the ones who killed themselves. How is it his fault that the desire to die already ran deep inside them and he simply just boosted their courage?
His best friend, Taehyun, is not entirely innocent either. In fact, he definitely does not care. When news of the students’ suicides came out, he did not even flinch or question Beomgyu. Instead, he simply looked Beomgyu in the eyes at the café he is working in during his shift and asked, “Was it you?”
Beomgyu always answered, “Yes.”
After the second time, Taehyun stopped asking the same question.
If Beomgyu is the Devil, Taehyun is the Devil’s wife. Or husband. Partner. He does not know what to describe Taehyun. Taehyun has never taken part in the process of murders. He just gives the list of names, knowing that there might be a chance that the people on that list might commit suicide. But then, even with Beomgyu out of the picture, who is to say that they will not commit suicide, anyway? Are they really getting better with the counselling sessions that the university forces on them? As the Devil, he wants those students to fulfil their utmost desires. If they desire to die, what else can anyone do?
Yet, everything changes as soon as Beomgyu’s eyes land on the most beautiful person he has ever seen.
It is a typical day in the café that he works in. Taehyun came over earlier and Beomgyu made him a caramel macchiato, as usual, and his best friend sat at the corner of café with his laptop on, probably doing assignments. Nothing much has happened. The café is currently quite empty as lunchtime is over.
So, when the door opens, he does not expect that he will be seeing someone so beautiful. The boy is wearing a simple button-down white long-sleeved shirt. The first two buttons of his shirt are left undone, revealing his collarbones. His tight black pants cling to his legs, accentuating his long legs. His black hair is parted in the middle, framing his pretty face. His eyes crinkle as he laughs at something the person next to him says with his hand covering his plump lips to hide the laughter. Then, the laughter fades and his eyes meet Beomgyu’s and Beomgyu swears he can feel his heart skip a beat.
The thing is, Beomgyu has never thought about his sexuality. He has never felt any sort of attraction to anyone before this. Sure, he finds people handsome and pretty but not sexually attractive. Sometimes, he thinks that he may be asexual and aromantic. Yet, his whole perception of himself changes as soon as he sees this boy in front of him.
Beomgyu does not really believe in God, but he thanks fate for bringing the boy to him as the boy’s friend takes a seat and he chooses to be the one to give their orders.
As the boy approaches him, a friendly smile is etched on his lips. Beomgyu wonders if he can get any prettier. Dangerously, Beomgyu is able to think of a thousand different ways of how the boy can get much prettier and most of them involve very sexual things that he does not really want to get into right now.
“Hi,” the boy greets as soon as he is at the counter. “Two Iced Americanos, please.”
With an easy smile, Beomgyu nods as he keys the order in. “That will be 8000 won in total. Payment by?” The boy waves his card and Beomgyu holds the card reader out to him. The boy taps his card and Beomgyu waits for the payment to process. Once it is successful, he hands the receipt over to the boy and he almost wants to giggle when their fingers touch. Fortunately, he manages to keep himself in check. Then, he grabs two cups and a black marker. “Your name?” he asks, holding his breath. He has never wanted to know someone’s name so badly.
“Yeonjun,” the pretty boy says. Then, as if the universe wants to make it easier for Beomgyu to find out more about this boy, he adds, “Choi Yeonjun.”
“Two Iced Americanos coming right up for Choi Yeonjun!” he chirps cheerfully as he scribbles the name down on the cups.
Yeonjun laughs and it is easily the most beautiful sound Beomgyu has ever heard. “Thank you,” he says politely before going over to the table where his friend is waiting for him.
As Beomgyu prepares the drinks, he is reminded of a line from the many poems he has read in his life:
And if the devil was to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent.
Briefly, he wonders if Yeonjun is the beauty that would make him repent.
Perhaps not.
As soon as Yeonjun and his friend are gone, Taehyun comes over to the counter. There are no longer any customers and it will stay this way until around five in the evening when classes typically end. Beomgyu has scheduled all of his classes in the morning so that he is able to work the afternoon shift for this semester. It is not like he needs the job, honestly. His parents are well-off. He just needs a stash of money that his parents do not know about to fund his immoral murderous activities.
“You like him,” Taehyun says plainly.
It is not an accusation. It is not a question either. It is a fact that is stated and both of them know this. There is not really much that he can hide from Taehyun, honestly. They have been best friends since high school. Beomgyu knows that Taehyun probably has always suspected him to be responsible for their classmate’s death way back then but the latter has never asked the question out loud. Some things are better left unknown. Or, in Taehyun’s case, some things do not need to be asked because the answer is already obvious.
So, when Taehyun says that Beomgyu likes the customer who came in earlier, Beomgyu does not bother to lie or hide. Why lie about it when Taehyun can read him so easily, anyway?
“Was it that obvious?” he asks, wondering if Yeonjun himself was able to tell his prominent attraction to him earlier.
Taehyun shrugs in response as he rests his arms on the counter to lean forward. “Maybe not to other people,” he replies. “I know you, though. You’ve never shown interest in anybody. It’s almost like you’ve never cared much about relationships. That was the first time I’ve seen you look like that in front of someone.”
“Like what?”
“Entranced,” Taehyun answers.
Beomgyu pauses. Is that really what gave him away to his best friend? Was the expression he wore on his face that obvious? “What does ‘entranced’ look like on me?” he asks.
Taehyun tilts his head in a manner that kind of reminds Beomgyu of a cat. “Your eyes sparkle, your lips are formed in a naturally beautiful smile and your whole body leans closer than usual to him compared to your other customers.”
Huh. Interesting. That is definitely not something he has ever done before. No wonder Taehyun can easily tell that he likes Yeonjun even from afar.
“What can you find out about him?” Beomgyu asks, putting on his best smile that he knows Taehyun can never resist.
His best friend simply laughs. “Everything,” Taehyun says as his eyes twinkle in amusement. Of course, this situation is amusing to him. Beomgyu does not blame him, really. As someone who has never shown profound interest in anyone, it must be an interesting development for Taehyun to see his best friend get enamoured with someone.
“He’s in one of my advanced classes. A third year, apparently,” Taehyun tells him. “He’s quite popular, actually, in the Criminology Department. He has a boyfriend, though. Jung Wooyoung, if I remember correctly. It’s the boy that he came here with.”
Beomgyu’s face falls. What is he expecting, anyway? Someone like Yeonjun who is absolutely beautiful probably has a line of suitors waiting for their chance. It should not be a surprise that he has a boyfriend.
“That’s a shame,” Beomgyu responds, trying not to show his disappointment. He fails, though. Taehyun always sees right through him.
“You’re not going to do anything about it?” Taehyun asks, raising his eyebrows.
“Why should I? I’m not desperate. If he’s happy with his boyfriend then so be it.”
“Well, I’ve heard rumours, for starters,” his best friend says tentatively. “The relationship is quite toxic, people say. They get into fights a lot.”
Beomgyu blinks, looking at Taehyun blankly. He does not know what Taehyun wants him to do with this information. Beomgyu does not have a hero complex. He does not feel the urge to save Yeonjun. Sure, the boy is beautiful but that is all there is to him; beauty. He may be the most beautiful person Beomgyu has ever seen but Beomgyu sure as hell is not going to drop everything for him, especially knowing that he already has a boyfriend. He does not think he is desperate enough to get with someone he only met an hour ago and destroy his relationship, no matter how unhappy it is.
“I don’t save people, Taehyun,” Beomgyu reminds him kindly.
“No, you don’t,” Taehyun agrees easily. “But you kill them.” The implication on that statement is crystal clear between the two of them. It is the first time that Taehyun has ever acknowledged what Beomgyu has been doing outright and it is for this, of all things.
Scandalised, Beomgyu looks at Taehyun with a shocked expression on his face. “You’re not seriously suggesting that I should kill Wooyoung just to have a chance with Choi Yeonjun, are you?” Killing in itself is wrong by society’s standards. What he does to all those depressed students may even be morally wrong to most people. But killing someone with his own bare hands is a little too much. He may not be able to get away with it as easily as he did back then. It is easier to cover murders up as suicides than getting away with murder.
Sometimes, Beomgyu wonders who the psychopath is between the two of them. Taehyun has never done anyone harm directly but he always encourages Beomgyu in his little projects.
“If you’re going to kill people, you might as well extend it to horrible people, right? There’s more justification in killing bad people than killing depressed students,” Taehyun replies in a matter-of-fact tone that irks Beomgyu.
His best friend has got to be joking. There is no way Taehyun is suggesting something outrageous as this to Beomgyu in a café that he works in. He is grateful that there is no other customer at this moment.
“You hate Wooyoung,” Beomgyu concludes as soon as he sees the seriousness in Taehyun’s expression. It seems like that is true because Taehyun quickly schools his expression into something more solemn.
“I hate what he did to my friend,” Taehyun responds. “If you ever fall for Yeonjun enough to care about him, you’d hate Wooyoung too.”
Then, without another word, Taehyun returns to his table, leaving Beomgyu more confused than he has ever been for the whole of his life.
The Iced Americano that Beomgyu makes must have been really good if it gets Yeonjun to come back to the café a lot. It is almost a routine now. When the clock strikes three, the pretty boy will enter the café and orders an Iced Americano every time. Sometimes, he is alone. Other times, he is either with his boyfriend or his friends. Beomgyu enjoys it the most when he is alone because Yeonjun will simply just watch him make his drink instead of taking a seat. Having someone as beautiful as Yeonjun watch him closely should make him nervous but it just makes him feel fluttery.
Today, Yeonjun is alone.
Beomgyu is making Taehyun’s caramel macchiato when Yeonjun enters. Beomgyu flashes an apologetic smile at the boy, conveying that he will get to him soon, but Yeonjun remains unbothered and simply smiles right back at him.
As soon as Beomgyu is done making the drink, he calls out, “Taehyun!”
His best friend lifts his head up from his laptop, probably working on another assignment. Beomgyu watches in wariness when Taehyun’s eyes flicker over to Yeonjun in interest before he makes his way to the counter.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for it? I feel bad because it feels like I’m leeching off you every time,” Taehyun asks loudly as soon as he arrives.
Beomgyu narrows his eyes at his best friend. He is definitely going to kill him. Well, not literally, of course. He has to make that clear since he is, in fact, a killer. Figuratively, he is going to kill Taehyun. His best friend has never had any problem accepting free drinks from him before this. As a matter of fact, Taehyun definitely enjoys the free drinks as it allows him to save his own money for other things like a gym membership. There is no reason for Beomgyu to give him free drinks, really, but Beomgyu simply enjoys doing these little things for the people he loves. It is just his way of expressing his affection and Taehyun has always graciously accepted it.
So, there is only one reason why his best friend is being a little shit and mentioning this now.
“Take your drink and go back to your assignment,” Beomgyu replies tightly with a fake smile on his face, trying his best to keep his voice even as he does not want to give anything away. He knows that there is a hint of irritation in his voice, though, as much as he tries to cover it.
Taehyun grins at him and Beomgyu swears he will kill him. Once again, not literally.
Without another word, Taehyun grabs the cup and skips happily back to his seat, obviously feeling like he has accomplished something from that very much unnecessary conversation.
Finally, Yeonjun comes forward to the counter. However, it seems like something in the universe has shifted today because for the very first time, the most beautiful person that Beomgyu has ever known actually strikes a conversation with him.
“Do you only work the afternoon shifts?” he asks, tilting his head to the side slightly in the same way that Taehyun usually does which reminds him of a cat.
“Yeah,” Beomgyu answers, trying his best not to swallow. Now is definitely not the time to be nervous. He refuses to embarrass himself in front of Yeonjun. “I have classes in the morning.”
Yeonjun’s lips form an ‘o’ shape. Then, with an easy smile that may come off as flirtatious but Beomgyu knows that it is just Yeonjun being friendly, he says, “Would you consider working the morning shifts for the next semester? Your Iced Americano is definitely my favourite.”
Beomgyu looks at him, feeling stunned. He blinks at him blankly. “Iced Americano is just Iced Americano. It tastes the same everywhere.”
The pretty boy raises an eyebrow at him in a questioning manner. “For someone who works in a café, there’s no way you just said that,” he gapes teasingly. “Even water doesn’t taste the same everywhere, what makes you think Iced Americano tastes the same everywhere?”
Right. Yeonjun does have a point.
Not wanting to prolong the conversation, Beomgyu decides to cut it short. This interaction is definitely not healthy for him. He already thinks about the pretty boy too many times each day. He does not need this interaction to feed his thoughts.
“I’m guessing you’re getting an Iced Americano for today too, then?” Beomgyu asks. The answer is yes, he knows, but he asks anyway, out of courtesy.
A beautiful smile forms on Yeonjun’s lips as the boy nods his head. He holds out his card to make his payment and Beomgyu briefly wonders if Yeonjun will ever let him buy him coffee someday.
What a dangerous thought to have of someone who already has a boyfriend.
“You’re obsessed with Yeonjun,” Taehyun says plainly as soon as his eyes land on the painting that Beomgyu has been working on for the past three hours.
It is a normal occurrence for Taehyun to come over and do his assignments at Beomgyu’s apartment on the days that Beomgyu is not working at the café. Beomgyu does not mind Taehyun’s presence that much since his best friend is usually quiet. In fact, it is Beomgyu who always gets scolded in his own apartment for being loud when playing games.
However, today, he has decided to paint instead of playing games. It has been quite some time since he last painted anything. He started with sketching first before finally giving colours to the sketch. It is quite a painting, honestly, but even then, it does not show the full extent of Yeonjun’s beauty.
Perhaps, Taehyun is right. Maybe he is obsessed with Yeonjun, given the way he painted Yeonjun so delicately on his canvas. The painting shows a close-up view of Yeonjun’s pretty face. A rose is hanging out of his mouth with its stem trapped between his lips. Even if Beomgyu is unable to see Yeonjun right in front of his eyes, he has memorised the latter’s features in his head.
“I’m a creep,” Beomgyu frowns in realisation.
Taehyun snorts loudly at that.
It feels wrong. Painting Yeonjun without his consent is wrong. The painting is beautiful, Beomgyu knows, and it almost feels like a waste when he moves to tear it into pieces. He can feel Taehyun’s wide eyes observing him quietly from the distance. Then, when he is done, he plops on the couch next to Taehyun and lets out a groan.
“I can’t get him out of my head,” Beomgyu confesses. He wants to cry out of frustration. It is driving him crazy how he thinks of Yeonjun every single day. He thinks about the way he smiles, the way he talks, the way he laughs, the way his eyes light up when he laughs, the way his lips are formed in a natural pout, how badly Beomgyu wants to kiss him, to hold his hand, to take him out on a date.
“What makes you like him?” Taehyun asks as he reaches out a hand to pat Beomgyu’s head to comfort him.
“He’s beautiful,” Beomgyu replies.
His best friend blinks at him. “That’s kind of superficial. What do you really know about him?”
Beomgyu groans again and buries his face into his hands. In his rational mind, he knows that Taehyun is right. He barely even knows anything about Yeonjun other than his name, his coffee order and the fact that he has a boyfriend. Beyond that, he does not know much at all.
Finally, Beomgyu looks up from his hands and meets Taehyun’s sympathetic gaze. Taehyun probably does not understand him right now. How could he possibly understand, anyway? Taehyun has been in a stable relationship with Kai since the senior year of high school. Although they are not in the same university, they still meet up quite often, considering the fact that the two of them are in Seoul. How could Taehyun possibly understand Beomgyu’s infatuation with a random stranger that appears out of nowhere simply because the stranger is the most beautiful person that he has ever laid his eyes on?
“He seems gentle and soft even if he carries himself with confidence,” Beomgyu says. “He smiles easily around people he knows and people he doesn’t know. I’ve seen the way he looks at his friends. He always looks so fond and I want him to look at me that way.”
Taehyun opens his mouth to speak but Beomgyu can already tell what he is going to say from his eyes before any words can come out. “Don’t tell me to kill Wooyoung, please. I’ll literally jump off the rooftop of this building if I hear that one more time.”
His best friend just giggles in response and Beomgyu does not know whether he should be thankful that Taehyun chooses to stay quiet on the matter or smack him for giggling. It is not even a funny situation, they both know that, especially since Taehyun actually meant it when he suggested it the first time.
“Maybe it’s a good thing that he has a boyfriend,” Beomgyu sighs. “Imagine the intensity and depth of what I’d feel if I actually ever get the chance to have him as mine.”
“I don’t think it’ll be a bad thing.”
Beomgyu laughs bitterly. What he feels right now is already scary enough for him. If Yeonjun ever reciprocates, it might grow a thousandfold. He is not sure if the world itself is ready to face that. He sure as hell is not ready to face his own feelings. Everything is unfamiliar and yet it feels so good at the same time.
Briefly, he wonders; is this what having a crush is like?
It is just as Taehyun said; Yeonjun’s relationship is toxic.
That much is obvious even from an outsider’s point of view. It is not like Beomgyu intends to eavesdrop on them but it just happens that the café is empty except for Yeonjun and Wooyoung. Even Taehyun is not there right at this moment because it is seven in the morning on Sunday. His co-worker got into a minor car accident last night and asked him to cover for her so here he is in the café, trying his best to mind his own business.
However, that proves to be a difficult task as the argument that the couple are having is loud. Why the two of them are awake at this timing is beyond Beomgyu, really. It seems like insanity. Imagine waking up early to meet your boyfriend only to end up getting into a fight with him.
Beomgyu tries his best to scroll through Twitter, wanting to look for something more interesting than the argument. If it is any other customer, Beomgyu would have not cared as much. Even if he listens in, he does not particularly care about them and will probably forget about it quickly. Yeonjun is a whole different story. As Taehyun likes to say, Beomgyu is obsessed with the boy. If he hears their argument, it will be as if he is purposely invading their privacy. The argument is way too loud in an empty café for him not to overhear, though.
“Fuck you, Choi Yeonjun,” Wooyoung swears out loud. “I’m trying to apologise to you right now. Hell, I woke up early in the fucking morning to see you, didn’t I? I don’t fucking understand what else you want from me.”
“I don’t know, Wooyoung,” Yeonjun snaps back at him. “Maybe if you didn’t put your hand inside of someone else’s skirt last night, we wouldn’t be having this argument right now.” The sarcasm is heavy in his voice. Despite that, Beomgyu can also hear a hint of anger and hurt too.
Is this what Taehyun meant when he said that the relationship is toxic? Is it because Wooyoung is possibly a cheater?
“Maybe if you actually put out, I wouldn’t find the need to find someone else to satisfy me now, would I?” Wooyoung shoots back.
Beomgyu grits his teeth. What an asshole. He cannot believe the conversation that he is hearing right now. His grip on his phone tightens. This time around, he does not bother to try not to overhear. He is listening in as anger for Yeonjun settles inside him.
It is absolutely ludicrous. Yeonjun is beautiful and kind. How can his own boyfriend not appreciate that? Fuck. Yeonjun deserves so much better.
It seems like that is a fact that Yeonjun knows himself. “Don’t put this on me,” Yeonjun replies as his eyes sharpen. “You know why I stopped putting out.” Beomgyu feels proud of him for standing his own ground. God, he wishes Yeonjun would just dump the guy already.
“What the fuck?” Wooyoung raises his voice. “I told you that it was an honest mistake. I didn’t mean it, I swear. She came on to me and I was too drunk to realise what was happening.”
“Why am I hearing a whole other version of the story, then?”
The silence is loud after the question is uttered. Beomgyu holds his breath, curious to know what will happen next. It is not rare that customers get into interesting conversations like this but this is the first time that he actually cares enough to root for a particular party.
“You should seriously stop listening to rumours and trust your own boyfriend instead,” Wooyoung finally speaks up, breaking the silence. Then, he stands up and exits the café, leaving Yeonjun alone in his seat.
The door swings shut behind Wooyoung. Beomgyu half-expects Yeonjun to burst into tears or to, at least, show any form of emotion on his face. Instead, the pretty boy seems indifferent. He simply grabs his phone that is on the table and begins scrolling while taking occasional sips of his Iced Americano. It is almost like the argument earlier never happened. Or, maybe, the argument earlier has no big impact on him.
Realisation hits Beomgyu there and then; Yeonjun knows that his relationship is failing and he barely even cares about it. If that is the case, why is he still staying then?
Not wanting to dwell on that since he has no answers for it, he decides to offer Yeonjun some comfort. It is not because he is interested in the beautiful boy. No, not at all. He would have done it for any other customer who goes through the same thing. Last month, a girl got broken up with right here in this café and he gave her a piece of brownie. See? He is not as heartless and psychopathic as people think he is.
That is why he brings out a piece of chocolate muffin and places it on a plate. Then, he brings the plate over to the older male and places it on the table. Yeonjun looks up from his phone. The puzzlement is clear on his face and he raises an eyebrow at the sight of the muffin.
“It’s on the house,” Beomgyu tells him. He hesitates. This is always the hardest part. Some people do not take kindly to receiving free food after an argument with their significant other. He hopes Yeonjun is not one of those who would yell at him. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but I heard a little bit of what was going on and I thought I’d give you this in hopes it’ll cheer you up.”
Beomgyu peers nervously at Yeonjun who still has a blank look on his face. Much to his relief, Yeonjun breaks into a smile and accepts the muffin graciously. “Thank you,” the boy says softly. Then, he cocks his head to the seat in front of him where Wooyoung occupied previously. “Do you want to sit down for a while? I could use a friend to talk to.”
Normally, Beomgyu would reject as this goes beyond what he can offer. His act of kindness does not extend to being someone’s therapist. He is not a professional and he is in no way obligated to listen to a stranger’s rant. However, Choi Yeonjun is an exception. The way he looks up at Beomgyu with a hopeful expression on his face tugs at something inside of Beomgyu’s heart and he cannot find it in him to deny him.
Maintaining a cool face, Beomgyu takes a seat on the opposite of Yeonjun, wondering if this is the part where the latter spills all the details of his relationship. Other people would have definitely done that. Yet, Yeonjun does not speak a word. He simply picks up the muffin from the plate and splits it into two. With a stunning smile, the boy hands one of the pieces to Beomgyu.
“Uh,” Beomgyu says hesitantly, not expecting this outcome at all. He looks at Yeonjun with a bewildered expression on his face that causes the boy to burst into laughter.
“You’re cute,” he comments and Beomgyu feels his cheeks burn.
“The muffin is for you, though,” Beomgyu finally says when his tongue starts working properly again.
“It’s only right that I share it with you after asking you to talk to me, isn’t it?” Yeonjun replies, tilting his head to the side. “Come on, take it, please?”
Beomgyu’s heart skips a beat when he sees the way Yeonjun purses his lips into a pout, still handing out half of the muffin to him. Like this, Yeonjun actually looks absolutely adorable and Beomgyu finds his cool slipping away from him. Why does this boy have this much effect on him? It is unfair, really.
Not wanting Yeonjun to realise the amount of effect he has on him, Beomgyu takes the muffin quickly. The smile that he gets in return is worth everything. Yeonjun practically beams at him happily before he takes a bite of his own piece.
The two of them simply sit down in silence, enjoying the muffin. Beomgyu takes tiny bites of it, wanting to make it last as long as possible. That is how he has always eaten things, anyways. He likes savouring things. It makes it sweeter. Although Beomgyu is certain that Yeonjun would share his food to anyone, he still feels his heart flutter over it, anyway. Is this what having a crush feels like?
“I thought you don’t work the morning shifts,” Yeonjun comments after the moment of silence.
Beomgyu looks up from the muffin and finds that the boy is already finished with his piece. Meanwhile, Beomgyu still has more than half of his piece to eat. He does not mind it, though. It is a normal occurrence. Whoever he eats with always ends up finishing faster than him. Taehyun is always the victim, to be honest, and his best friend has complained about it so many times before.
Realising that Yeonjun is still waiting for an answer, Beomgyu says, “I’m covering for my co-worker.”
Yeonjun simply nods. “That’s really kind of you. Not many people would do that on a Sunday morning,” he replies.
Beomgyu shrugs nonchalantly. He has never really seen it that way. He does not mind it, honestly. Sometimes, Ryujin helps to cover for his shift too on the days he does his little murderous projects and they coincide with his shifts. It is a mutual understanding on both sides and neither of them complains about it. They have that sort of silent camaraderie.
“Why are you awake this early, then?” he asks as curiosity gets the best of him.
The pretty boy smiles. “I’m used to waking up early. I scheduled most of my classes early in the morning so I won’t have a hard time adjusting when I start working.”
The barista raises an eyebrow at that. “And what do you intend to work as?” he asks. He is prying at this point and it goes beyond what he should be doing at this café but he cannot help himself. Something about Yeonjun just makes him insanely curious. He wants to find out as much as he can about the pretty boy. All information is welcomed. He keeps a box inside his head for Yeonjun and everything that is related to him will go inside there.
“A profiler,” Yeonjun answers confidently. He does not explain further. Most people would have delved into the details of what exactly makes them interested in their respective fields but Yeonjun seems proud of his chosen career and leaves it at that, as if he does not have to justify it to anyone. It is his dream, his choice. No one else has a say in it.
“That’s cool,” Beomgyu comments. It is also almost the same field that he intends to work in.
“What about you?”
“A forensic pathologist,” the barista replies, looking forward to see what Yeonjun’s reaction would be. Most people start to feel freaked out by him when they ask what he wants to be when he grows up. The term ‘forensic pathologist’ is merely a pretty word for ‘I want to cut up dead bodies as my career’ and people tend to think that he is weird for it.
Surprise reflects on Yeonjun’s face. Unlike all the others, he does not seem to be freaked out by Beomgyu for it, though. “That’s unique,” he comments instead. “Why, though? If you don’t mind me asking.”
Beomgyu pauses. He has never really told anyone why exactly he wants to be a forensic pathologist. The interest in that career path has been planted in him ever since he saw his own classmate fall to death. The weakness of the human body has amazed him at the time. Humans are such delicate, fragile beings. The incident has made him want to know what is inside the human body. It got him interested in human anatomy.
Yet, simply studying the anatomy has never been enough. He wants to do more. He wants to know the feeling of cutting the human flesh. He needs to satisfy that craving deep inside of him. Surgery is an option but he does not want to save lives. It is unlike him. Besides, he does not want to face the guilt of failing to save someone. In addition, who is to say that he will not purposely fail his surgeries just to get the thrill of ending another life? Cutting up dead bodies, however, is more appealing. He will have no pressure to save them because they are already dead. He just needs to find the cause of death and that will be interesting. He has always liked mysteries and unravelling them.
“Sorry, am I prying?” Yeonjun asks, after a moment of silence, snapping Beomgyu back to reality.
The barista blinks and quickly shakes his head. “No, you’re not,” he replies. He does not mind the question at all. He just does not know how to answer it. “No one’s ever asked me that before and even if they did, it was filled with judgement and not genuine curiosity.”
The smile that Yeonjun shoots at him makes him melt. God, what a beautiful smile. Beomgyu sincerely hopes that Yeonjun never loses his smile. How is it possible that someone like Yeonjun exists? He is so beautiful, kind and pure-hearted. Wooyoung definitely does not deserve him. He deserves so much better.
“Tell me, then,” the pretty boy urges in an encouraging manner.
“I think the human body is interesting,” Beomgyu finally answers, not bothering to choose his words wisely. Something about Yeonjun just makes it easy to talk. “It’s so fragile. We have all these skeletons to protect our organs and yet we’re still vulnerable, you know? I like knowing secrets of the body and being a forensic pathologist will satisfy the innate curiosity in me.”
Yeonjun nods thoughtfully and Beomgyu’s heart aches. He wants Yeonjun so badly. This conversation is not helping him with his obsession at all. If anything, it only serves to feed it and he wants more. It is a craving inside of him that is bigger than his need to kill people. Hell, he will even stop killing people if it means that he has Yeonjun. His beauty is out of this world. It is worth everything, even sacrificing one of the things that gives him the most pleasure. Yeonjun is enough.
“You’re really beautiful, do you know that?” Beomgyu asks softly as his voice lowers. A few strands of Yeonjun’s hair fall over his eyes. As if by reflex, Beomgyu reaches out to fix his hair before quickly retracting his hand when he realises what he is doing. That seems to catch Yeonjun by surprise as the latter rubs his nape, obviously feeling shy. “You deserve so much better than Wooyoung," he whispers, the longing is obvious in his voice.
Beomgyu knows that he has crossed a line with that statement. He is no one to give Yeonjun such advice. He is neither his friend nor his classmate. They are merely acquaintances simply because Yeonjun enjoys the Iced Americano that he makes. It is unsolicited advice. The truth is, he wants to say that he can treat Yeonjun much better. He can give the pretty boy the whole world if he asks. Yeonjun deserves to be worshipped and Beomgyu is entirely devoted to do that. Yeonjun deserves nothing less than ultimate devotion from the person who can love him the most.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
It is then a moment of panic flashes in his mind. When has he begun to think this way? When has he started to long to make Yeonjun his? It is supposed to be a mere admiration. He is only supposed to look and covet from afar. Yet, the beautiful boy in front of him has not said a word at all. He is just looking at Beomgyu curiously and even his curiosity is beautiful.
Holy fucking shit. How down deep is Beomgyu?
“I’m sorry,” Beomgyu bursts out as he stands up. The panic cannot even be hidden from his face. His feelings are already out there to be seen. If Taehyun were here right now, he would have clicked his tongue in disapproval. This is in no way the perfect time to let Yeonjun know of what he feels. Hell, he has not even realised how deep his feelings are until now. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for,” he apologises again, bowing slightly.
Instead of getting mad, Yeonjun just smiles. The smile does not quite reach his eyes, though, but his hand reaches out to squeeze Beomgyu’s wrist reassuringly. “It’s okay,” he says. The not-so happy yet not-so sad smile is still on his lips yet he still looks pretty. Beomgyu wants to sink his teeth in those plump lips and find out the noises it can make. “Everybody says that, anyway,” Yeonjun adds as he lets Beomgyu’s wrist go.
Beomgyu clutches his wrist as if it has been burnt. His heart is beating wildly in his chest and he is sure that Yeonjun probably thinks he is a freak now.
God, what is wrong with him?
Kai cackles his head off when Beomgyu tells him about what happened.
It is one of the rare moments in which Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai get together to hang out. It is an impromptu hangout, honestly, as Taehyun actually came over to Beomgyu’s apartment to finish his assignments once again. Kai, who has free time over the weekend, insists on coming over too to hang out as they have not met in quite some time. Besides, Beomgyu rarely has any reason to see him as both Kai and Taehyun usually go on dates instead.
Beomgyu honestly does not know what prompted him to tell Kai about his current life problem and it seems like the wrong thing to do as the latter is still laughing loudly at Beomgyu’s predicament. Even Taehyun is biting his lower lip to prevent himself from giggling as he continues typing on his laptop.
“What’s so funny?” Beomgyu grumbles as he takes a seat on the couch next to Kai.
“You,” Kai replies as the laughter finally subsides. “I’ve never seen you so stressed about someone before. Can you show me a picture of this Yeonjun guy?”
“No,” Beomgyu replies flatly, not appreciating how he got laughed at. Not everyone is in a happy long-term relationship, okay? This is the first time he has ever been this interested and invested in someone and it drives him crazy too. He is pretty sure this is not normal.
Although Beomgyu has denied Kai’s request of seeing a picture of Yeonjun, it is Taehyun who takes out his phone and searches Yeonjun’s Instagram page before handing his phone over to Kai. Beomgyu lets out a sigh, knowing that more teasing will ensue.
Kai whistles lowly at the sight of Yeonjun’s picture. Beomgyu sneaks a peek at the picture that is shown on Taehyun’s phone before letting out a loud groan. Yeonjun is dressed in a simple black tank top, revealing his collarbones and arms. Only the upper half of his body is shown and his body is angled to the side. His head is leaning slightly backwards, showing off his hair which is styled in a messy way. The background of the picture is dark, making Yeonjun look like an angel in the light. His face looks sultry, as if he is trying to seduce the audience (Beomgyu).
“He’s hot,” Kai comments as he presses the ‘back’ button on the Instagram page and begins to look through more of Yeonjun’s photos.
“Your boyfriend is literally sitting right there,” Beomgyu snorts.
Taehyun does not seem to mind it though. Instead, he adds, “You’re not the only one with a crush on him, Choi Beomgyu. He’s been my eye candy since the beginning of the semester.”
“And you didn’t think to share pictures of him with me?” Kai exclaims in mock hurt.
God. Couples are so fucking weird, sometimes. Beomgyu does not know how his best friend and his best friend’s boyfriend can casually have this kind of conversation. They must have felt really secure about their position in each other’s lives that they are able to compliment other people and be sexually attracted to them in front of each other. Beomgyu doubts he will ever reach that stage with anyone, honestly. He is a tad bit too possessive for that.
“Well, you can’t blame me for liking him now, can you?” Beomgyu says in satisfaction. Even Taehyun agrees that Yeonjun is attractive yet his best friend is always on his ass for how obsessed he is with Yeonjun. That is absolutely unfair. Yeonjun is just too beautiful to resist.
“Is he the reason why you stopped asking Taehyun to hack into your university’s medical records?” Kai asks casually as he hands the phone back to his boyfriend, having had enough of scrolling through Yeonjun’s very model-worthy Instagram pictures.
At the question, Beomgyu freezes. He turns to look at Taehyun in alarm, not expecting Kai, of all people, to ask that question. It is supposed to be a secret between the two of them. He has never thought that Taehyun would tell Kai about it. His heart begins to pick up its pace as nervousness settles inside his stomach.
“Relax, I won’t tell anyone,” Kai assures as the silence stretches on. “I caught Taehyun trying to hack into the medical records a few months ago and helped him with it.”
Wow. His best friend has never told him that. Beomgyu honestly does not know what to feel. If Kai has known since months ago, there is no need to be nervous. Kai is great at keeping secrets. That is a fact that Beomgyu can attest to. Back in high school, whenever Beomgyu wanted to skip classes, it was Kai who always covered for him.
In hindsight, Beomgyu should not be surprised. Kai is the most tech savvy among all of them, especially since he is an IT major, after all. There is no technological problem that Kai is not able to solve. It is a quality that Beomgyu greatly admires.
“He dropped his old hobby to daydream about Choi Yeonjun instead,” Taehyun says lightly. The teasing is to test the waters, as if he is afraid of Beomgyu’s reaction.
Beomgyu should be angry. It is one thing that he has involved Taehyun into his peculiar little projects. It is a symbol of trust. Taehyun is also complicit in it, always encouraging him. Hell, just a few weeks ago, his best friend urged him to kill his crush’s boyfriend. A ridiculous idea, considering that Beomgyu does not know the first thing about getting away with murder in itself. Disguising murders as suicides is more of his forte and Wooyoung does not seem like the suicidal type.
There are a million reasons why Beomgyu should really be furious. One of his deepest secrets has been exposed to his best friend’s boyfriend. Yet, he cannot find it in him to feel angry. Instead, he feels relieved. There is one more person in this world who is his ally, who will not report him to the authorities and have him arrested and who does not judge him for being the person that he is.
“What can I say?” Beomgyu sighs in defeat. “He probably thinks I’m weird now.”
Kai laughs loudly at that. “I’m pretty sure he’s already thought that right from the start,” he teases.
Beomgyu smacks the younger guy’s arm in retaliation.
The news of Yeonjun’s breakup spreads like wildfire.
It is Taehyun who breaks the news to him excitedly, telling him that he can shoot his shot now.
It does not really come as a surprise to anyone. It seems like everyone has collectively known that Yeonjun and Wooyoung are never meant to last. Beomgyu sincerely hopes that the older male is okay, though. Even though Beomgyu has never experienced the loss of a relationship first-hand, he has seen movies and dramas. The main leads never have it easy and he figures that Yeonjun is probably experiencing some semblance of grief.
The older male still drops by the café every now and then. However, he does not really hang around and chooses to have his coffee as takeaway instead. Beomgyu also refrains himself from striking a conversation with Yeonjun. The last time they talked still plays inside Beomgyu’s head and he really wishes that he can forget it. He cannot believe that he let himself slip up back then and ended up showing Yeonjun a glimpse into his own feelings.
Just like that, time passes.
Beomgyu’s obsession should be reducing into nothing by now. It has been almost two months since Yeonjun’s breakup and the two of them have not had any proper conversations since the last time. Yet, strangely, Beomgyu still finds himself intrigued by him. Something about Yeonjun just demands attention, as if it is a huge crime to look away from him. That is how Beomgyu notices that the older male has been feeling lonely.
The realisation does not come out of the blue. Instead, it increases gradually. The changes in Yeonjun’s behaviour are noticeable. It is obvious by the way he stops hanging around in the café. It seems like the breakup has taken a toll in his friendships with people too. Beomgyu used to see him around with many of his friends like Changbin, San, Serim and Chan. However, ever since the breakup, Beomgyu always sees him alone instead.
It must have been difficult. Beomgyu cannot imagine dating someone within the same friend group and then breaking up. It seems like in cases like this, you do not only lose a significant other but you lose your friends too. It might not even necessarily be because they decide to choose sides. Sometimes, it is easier for you too.
Maybe, Yeonjun’s apparent loneliness is what drives Beomgyu to start a conversation the next time he comes to the café.
Beomgyu has never really been a particularly courageous person. Sure, he does not flinch when he plays horror video games. He does not bat an eyelash when he goes inside the haunted house with Taehyun clinging on to him for dear life and Kai laughing his head off behind Taehyun. That kind of bravery has nothing to do with real courage, though.
Real courage takes a lot to muster. Real courage is not easy to achieve as it is only the most fearful are able to attain it. Yet, a rare surge of courage courses through his veins when he sees Yeonjun step foot inside the café on this day. He has a thoughtful look on his face and a book tucked underneath his arm. He is wearing his glasses which makes him look really soft and fluffy today, especially with his white knitted sweater. It is then Beomgyu notices that Yeonjun has sweater paws. He badly wants to coo at how cute he is.
“Iced Americano, I’m guessing?” Beomgyu asks as soon as Yeonjun is right in front of the counter. There are no customers behind him, thank goodness. It is rare that he feels courageous enough to talk to Choi Yeonjun.
A sweet smile etches itself on Yeonjun’s lips. “Yes,” he replies.
Just as Yeonjun is about to reach into his wallet for his card, Beomgyu says, “It’s on the house today.”
Surprise flickers on the older male’s face. “Uh, thank you?”
Beomgyu chuckles quietly at that, not expecting Yeonjun to react so awkwardly. It is really cute, honestly. The older male has always carried himself with confidence so it is kind of a surprise to see him slightly flustered.
“Do you know the appropriate amount of time needed before you ask someone who’s going through a breakup out?” Beomgyu finds himself asking. He has not even moved an inch to prepare Yeonjun’s drink, wanting to prolong the conversation.
Heat rises to Yeonjun’s cheeks. It is pretty obvious what Beomgyu is doing, after all.
“It really depends on the person you want to ask out,” the pretty boy answers, keeping his voice casual despite the blush on his cheeks.
“What do you think?” Beomgyu counters, keeping a friendly smile on his face. “Is it appropriate if I ask you out now or do you need more time before you’d consider saying yes?”
A pause ensues as the two of them simply look at each other. Yeonjun seems really flustered by Beomgyu’s straightforwardness as he covers his own face with his sweater paws. Beomgyu’s heart squeezes in his chest. How can someone so beautiful be this cute? Oh God.
“Why don’t you ask me out and see what I’d say?” Yeonjun suggests coyly as he uncovers his face after a few moments. His eyes are twinkling as he waits for Beomgyu to ask him out.
Beomgyu’s heart thumps in his chest. He cannot believe this is happening. He has never once thought that he will be asking the most beautiful person out on a date. Hell, before this, he has never thought that he would be interested enough in someone to want to go on a date with them. Yeonjun is absolutely special and even if Beomgyu does not know him personally, he really likes him a lot.
Taking in a deep breath, Beomgyu looks into Yeonjun’s eyes earnestly, wanting to express his feelings genuinely. “Choi Yeonjun, you’re great. You’re really pretty and I think about you more than I’d like to,” he says softly. “Will you go on a date with me?”
Gently, Yeonjun reaches a hand out to tuck Beomgyu’s hair behind his ear. Beomgyu’s breath hitches at the action, not expecting it at all. Now, he is the one blushing while Yeonjun looks so beautiful with an easy smile on his lips. “If I say no, do I have to pay for my own coffee?” the pretty boy asks teasingly as mischief pools in his eyes.
Beomgyu’s own eyes widen. “No,” he exclaims. “Me buying you coffee still stands even if you reject me.”
Yeonjun smiles fondly. Fuck, Beomgyu’s heart skips a beat at that. The fond smile is finally directed at him. “Yes, Beomgyu, I’ll go on a date with you,” the older male replies.
If possible, Beomgyu wants to scream in happiness right there and then. The joy that he feels is indescribable. He now gets why people fall in love. If this is a sliver of the happiness that awaits him as he explores the romantic dimension, he cannot wait to find out how happy he can be with Yeonjun in the future. Yet, he tries his best to maintain his cool as he says, “Give me your number, then. I’ll text you the details later.”
Yeonjun laughs before taking a napkin and scribbling his number on it with the marker Beomgyu usually uses to write on the cups.
“There you go,” the pretty boy singsongs cheerfully.
Beomgyu thinks his heart will combust from all the happiness that he is feeling as of this moment. He swears that he will not take this chance for granted.
It is then he wonders if this is the beginning of his redemption. Ever since he met Yeonjun, he has never once asked Taehyun to find another student for him to mess with. In fact, most of his thoughts are occupied with Yeonjun and his beauty instead of his morbid curiosity or his urge to end a life. He has never expected to feel this way about anyone.
Beomgyu cannot help but keep a smile on his face as he prepares the Iced Americano for Yeonjun. This will be the first time he has ever asked anyone out on a date and he intends for it to be perfect. Hell, if he plays his cards right, he may even be able to go on more dates. The thought itself makes him feel giddy.
Slowly, he reminds himself fiercely. Even though what he feels for Yeonjun is already deep, it does not mean that Yeonjun reciprocates. At best, the pretty boy is attracted to him. At worst, he is merely giving Beomgyu a chance to test the waters. It is fine. Instead of planning his next murder, he can simply start planning on giving Yeonjun the whole world in a way that is irresistible yet not creepy. He does not want to scare Yeonjun from the get-go.
Finally, Beomgyu finishes preparing the drink and hands it over to Yeonjun. The pretty boy smiles and holds the cup, letting their fingers touch. A simple touch makes it feel like electricity is coursing through his veins. He is so far gone for Choi Yeonjun.
“I look forward to the date, then,” the pretty boy says lightly, beaming at him.
Cute, Beomgyu thinks. So fucking cute.
Then, without another word, Yeonjun takes his drink and leaves the café.
Beomgyu simply watches him go with an ache inside his heart. It is longing, he realises. It has been three months since they first met and whatever attraction that Beomgyu felt for Yeonjun has grown into obsession and now it is longing. He wants Yeonjun to himself. He does not want anyone else to have Yeonjun. Now that he has a small taste of what it is like to have Yeonjun looking at him so fondly, he wants more. Yeonjun is so beautiful that it kind of hurts. It hurts a little that he is a beauty that is way out of Beomgyu’s league.
Beomgyu has never thought of repenting before this. Yet, the beauty that Yeonjun is makes him feel like it is possible for him to repent.