Chapter Text
Soap has created a group chat
Soap has titled the group chat 'Getting König Laid'
Soap has added: Price, Ghost, König, Gaz, Alejandro, and Rudy
Soap: Men, I have gathered you here today for one important mission. Getting König in Owen's bed.
Price: Why do we need a group chat for this?
Rudy: So we can effectively plan this
Alejandro: Any ideas?
Soap: No
König: Are you sure that this will be helpful?
Soap: Of course it will be!
Rudy: Well Owen is a doctor so what if König gets hurt?
Ghost: Owen is a good doctor. He'll patch him up quick.
Soap: I thought you didn't want to help!
Ghost: I'm not participating but I'll take any chance to criticise your plans.
Alejandro: What if Ghost and König spar? If Ghost beats his ass then he'll have to stay longer.
Soap: Oh shit yeah that could work
Ghost: Do I not have a say?
Soap: Negative sir
Rudy: You'll have to give him a concussion or something
König: Is that a good idea? What if he gets annoyed with me?
Soap: If you get injured whilst sparring he'll fall all over you for fighting Ghost
König: Will he?
Gaz: Definitely. Who doesn't love a roughed up man? Well not me but still
Alejandro: Exactly! Then you stay the night and flirt with him!
König: How do I flirt with him?
Soap: When he's cooking or something you grab him by the hips and squeeze then tell him all the things you want to do to him
Rudy: Or the things you want him to do to you - no shaming here
Gaz: You should also be sweet with him. Give him a compliment - show him you're not all about having sex
Soap: Yeah
Price: Can I suggest something?
Soap: This better be good Captain
Price: König if you have feelings for Owen then you should just take the time to sit down with him and talk. I know you get anxious in social situations but communicating how you feel is important. I'm sure Owen will appreciate it and want to take it from there.
Rudy: ....
Gaz: ....
Soap: So we all agree we need to kick Price out for that idea right?
Rudy: Yes
Gaz: Affirmative
Alejandro: Do it now before I leave
Price is typing
Price has been kicked from the group chat
Soap: Now that he's gone, let's get back to the good plans.
Gaz: Boxing ring is free at 3pm. Could do it today?
Rudy: I'll go book it now.
König: I'm not sure about this. Maybe Price is right and I should just talk to him
Soap: König mate - why would you ever listen to Price for relationship advice?
Alejandro: Soap's right. He's like forty and alone. We are the best advisors you can get and we're doing this for free
Soap: Exactly. You're in good hands König.
Ghost: No you're not but it might work out eventually
Soap: Ignore him. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I am a love expert.