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Ekko found her in his parents' house.
For a moment, all was still. He had just turned on the lights—electricity was a miracle here knowing his parents barely ever came home and often forgot the bill—but he didn't feel quite so blessed at the sight of her curled up like a dead snail on the dusty old couch in the middle of the night.
"Jinx?"
He thought she was dead. She should have been. He nearly died at that explosion—and he had scrambled away from the chomper out of instinct. She didn't. She laid there on the road as the pink smoke engulfed everything in sight.
When the dust settled, he tried to come back for her. He would have made it if it weren't for the pain that shot through his ankle, if it weren't for the real possibility of being caught and blamed for the explosion, if it weren't for the silhouettes of some goons on the other side of the bridge.
She should be dead.
"Jinx?"
Silence.
Maybe she was dead.
He marched into the room, not daring to kneel and open his guard in case this was some trick. Her body swelled and sank in rhythm with a faint snore. Asleep. With her back exposed, face buried in a pillow, nails touching the upholstery.
Asleep.
Alive.
"Jinx." He let himself sink to his knees. Jinx. She was Jinx, not Powder, so why did her breathing unclog something in his chest? Why did he want to stretch his hand to touch her, to make sure she was real and he wasn't just seeing things?
"Jinx?"
Silence.
He cursed under his breath, stood up and paced for what felt like an hour, surveyed her for any visible injuries, found only a patch at her leg and nothing else, then gave up and lied down on the carpet.
He was tired.
He pushed himself off the floor and went to bed.
Maybe he was just seeing things. He used to see Benzo, too, back when the memories were still fresh.
It'll go away.
She's still there when he woke up.
She's wrapped up in the sheet he placed over her last night. He did that at some point; in between the insomnia and nightmares and sheer exhaustion. It's a miracle he even woke up before her. He felt like he'd been up all night. A headache hummed faintly behind his eyes, growing louder at the sheer perplexity of the sight of her.
Fuck it, he thought.
He made a beeline for the kitchen, occupied his taughts with breakfast, plans for the firelights, plans for his next project at the workshop, plans for whatever the hell was going on in the undercity now that Silco was a corpse…
Shit.
Is that why she's here?
His skin jumped at the sound of wood creaking. She sat by the counter behind him—still wrapped up in that white sheet. A wraith.
"Jinx?"
Her eyes were dazed. Half-lidded. Dark bags.
Purple.
Suddenly his stomach sank. He'd heard some stories. They said she was the one who did it—killed Silco. "What happened?" he asked. What did that monster do to you?
Silence. She merely closed her eyes—the way Powder used to when she was upset and didn't want to talk.
He made no more questions.
He got his answers from Vi. It turned out she didn't willingly kill Silco. That she actually regretted it. That she cradled his face and shot the council tower impulsively out of heartbreak.
He wanted to punch a wall.
"Do you…” Vi waved her hand around, not even trying to hide her tears. “Do you maybe have any idea where she could be?"
"No." I offered her pancakes in my parents' house this morning. She didn’t eat, though; looked like the shell of a human being. I didn't know what to do. I left her there. "Why ask me?"
"Who else can I ask? Apparently Sevika's also on the hunt for her. Eighty thousand hexes."
"Chembarons?"
Vi nodded. "And they say they'll reward any credible leads. Not a lot of people are just gonna tell me anything. They'll think I'm competition."
Ekko sighed. "Honestly we have no clue. And even if we did, it's too dangerous to have the kids tail her. You know how she is."
"Won't you try, Ekko? For me?"
"Vi, I don't—"
"Please? I can't do this alone. And you're the only one I can trust with this. Caitlyn is..." Vi blinked up at the tree, smiling bitterly. "She's a wreck. Her mother...I can't even blame her, you know? I can't just ask her to help me track down my sister when I'm trying to help Powder not get a death sentence knowing what she did. It'd be unfair to Cait."
"I get it, Vi, I do. But—"
"Please?" Shaky hands clasped his shoulders. Vi never quaked. Vi was always their pillar. Their big sister. She wasn't supposed to break down. Never supposed to cry. "I'm begging you, please?"
Ekko frowned. "I can't make any promises."
He wasn't quite sure if Vi knowing that Jinx came to him would change anything. And Jinx would probably be gone when he came back to his parents' apartment. She could have been anywhere by that time, and he wouldn't see her again for a long while—especially now that she probably wouldn't be helping guard shimmer shipments. Or that’s what he thought. If the chembarons were after her, would she still be involved in the shimmer trade? It wasn't entirely impossible. These times were uncharted territory. He didn't know what Jinx would do next, so it would be wrong to get Vi's hopes up.
And he wasn't so sure he'd want to look for her unless she gave the firelights trouble. No, he didn't want to look for her.
But when he came back days later, Jinx was still there on the couch.
"Have you even moved at all?" He found himself asking as he hung the house keys on the hook by the door. She looked the same as he left her: limp inside her cloth-shield, eyes blank towards the ceiling.
No response.
"I didn't think you'd stick around." He kept talking for his own sake. Her apathy bothered him to no end. "It's the food, isn't it? I highly doubt it's little ol' me." He placed his satchel on the counter, taking out his things.
He should be mad. He was mad. Earlier. When Vi told him what happened. She still belonged to Silco, even after death. He should be furious. Should be incredulous at the fact that she'd dare come and stay here after what she's done. After changing everyone's lives for an impulse.
But Ekko came here to rest. His responsibilities were getting to him, draining his logic. "I don't really have much options for dinner other than canned tuna," he said. "They're tuna steaks , by the way, not flakes. Nice and fancy. That's gonna be good fried paired with a nice soup. Exchanged a few coins for this flavored seasoning." He got the sachet out, tossed it on the counter. "They say it’s almost like Jericho's if you eat it with fried fish. Maybe even better."
Silence.
"I'll take that as a 'Sounds good, Ekko. You're so resourceful.' Why, thank you, Jinx. I always knew I'm a genius, but compliments are always welcome." He didn't look back at her as he walked to the stove. She didn't get up to the counter this time, and when he checked, she's once again lying on her side, facing the upholstery, sleeping; or pretending to sleep. Ekko left a covered plate and bowl for her by the couch so she didn't have to move far to find something to eat. If she felt like eating, that is.
As the firelight leader, he'd taken it upon himself to be well-informed of whatever public knowledge there was available about and in Piltover, because like it or not, their affairs could cascade down to life in the undercity. But sometimes he'd steal newspapers that published articles about scientific discoveries just because he liked to, and he remembered one doctor who wrote of illnesses of the mind, among them extreme despair: the kind that made a parent deaf to their children's cries after their partner passed away in a mine accident, the kind that made spoiled pilties cut their skin despite their carefree little lives, the kind that made people walk aimlessly into the sump rot until they died of suffocation or starvation or sheer exhaustion.
The kind that makes you choose sleep over appeasing your hunger or cleaning yourself or fixing your wounds.
She barely touched the tuna. And she hasn't moved from the couch. It's the second day she's there. The blanket had ridden up her leg just enough for him to see that the ugly patch on it was getting old, the flesh beneath it had swollen and darkened slightly. He wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't crouched down to look.
"Jinx?" He poked her on the shoulder. When she made no sound, the poking turned into soft patting. "Hey, Jinx. Wake up. Your—"
She's fast as wind. The cold barrel of her gun pressed against his temple with a click. Jinx had turned and gripped his hand down to the couch, stopping his blood flow.
"What do you want?" Her voice was hoarse. Like she hadn’t spoken since he found her.
"Your wound. It's infected."
She briefly glanced down. "No, it's not."
"Well, clean it up regardless. There's some antiseptic in the bathroom." He can't see the usual mirth in her eyes. Only fatigue and distrust. "I won't hurt you," he said as gentle as he can. "If I wanted to, I could have. You've been sleeping in my house for two nights."
They froze. She could shoot him. He knew she would if this had been a different encounter—maybe in another airship or on a narrow alley or a shimmer factory.
The gun clicked and it's gone, back in her holster. Then she's lying on his couch again with her back facing him.
"Hey, did you hear me? I said your wound is—"
"It's fine."
"The hell it's not! You can't just—"
"It's fine, Ekko. Just leave me be. I won't make any trouble. Just let me lie here and go do whatever it is you do with your life. Pretend I'm not here."
"You just expect me to do what you want? Do you even know what's going on out there? What could happen to me if anyone finds out you're here?"
Jinx sat up quickly, tossing the sheet aside and fumbling as she put on her boots. "Fine. I'll leave."
"That's not what I said."
"I don't care what you said."
"What the hell is wrong with you? First you show up and take over my couch, then you eat my food, beg me to pretend you're invisible while still hogging my couch, then not even a second later you just want to leave?"
"Shut up!" She rose, but only took a step before wobbling and leaning to the side. Ekko caught her as she fell.
So pale , he thought. She blinked like she was lost in the dark. "Hey," he said, snapping his fingers to her attention. Purple eyes refused to focus. Her mouth sucked in deep breaths. "Jinx, what's going on? Is it your leg?"
"No, no, no, no—fuck! I can't—it's getting dark, I can't—I can't see!"
"Shit." First thing that came to mind was to lay her on the floor and place her legs over the seat of the couch to help her blood flow. He hoped he was right and this was just a bout of anemia, not whatever the fuck could be happening to her with that shimmer in her eyes. "Take slow, deep breaths. That's right." Her hands were cold and frail, fingers almost boneless as he held her together. "It's okay. It’s vertigo, isn’t it? It’s fine. Can you see me now?”
Jinx nodded, her eyes flickering around the room and resting on his. She stopped chasing her breath. Then her strength returned, grip on his hand tightening in resistance when he tried to pull her up after a few minutes.
"Come on." He had to speak, otherwise she'd leave. Again. He knew he shouldn't, but he said what he wanted anyway. "The soup's probably lost, but the tuna should still be good. I'll refry it for you. You don't want to waste any more, do you?" Food was precious for any famished girl—crazy or not.
She let him help her sit up and stand. Slowly. He didn't let go until they've walked over to the kitchen, until she's sitting on the stool by the counter, until he knew for sure she'll stay.
He said it was infected. She said it was fine. They were both right.
Jinx sat on the toilet, a foot propped on one knee as she tried to peel the slimy bandages off, but stopped and winced when she realized it pulled some scab with it. The outside was a little worse for wear, but in no way was she gonna need to be amputated. The shimmer would probably take care of the infection, anyway. She had to do this, though. Ekko basically held her prisoner in his bathroom.
"You alright?" He asked from other side of the door.
"Fuck you."
“I'm not the one freeloading. And I don't want that shit stinking up my house so you better clean it good."
"I told you it's fine."
"Doesn't sound like it or you'd be done, already."
"Fuck you."
"Wow, real creative." She could hear him rolling his eyes. "You've lost your touch. Really messed yourself up with that shimmer, huh?"
"FUCK. YOU."
Thankfully, he stopped after that. She focused on her wound; managed to carefully remove the bandage with minimal damage. Her hand stretched out for the antiseptic on the counter, removed the lid. She breathed. Three, two, one–
GODDAMMIT. FUCK. FUCK—
"Hey, if you need help—"
"I said shut up!" She slammed the bottle on the counter, hands shivering as she winced at her work. Should she have cleaned it normally first? Like with soap and all? Probably. The rest of her could use a real washing, too, but she figured she was already abusing his warm welcome.
Three knocks. "Jinx?"
A groan escaped her as she rewrapped her leg. " What? "
A sigh. "Nothing. Just…" There's something different in his voice. Something she hated. Something she recognized as akin to pity. He thought she was weak. "I have to go. Can you lock the door when you—"
"I get it. Just go."
Silence.
Footsteps faded.
A distant door clicked shut.
"Look what you did," said Mylo. "You made him leave. Can't say I'm shocked, though. He must be so tired of your dead ass weight—"
She threw the bottle at him with a scream.
Jinx slumped, wound exposed, hands hanging on her sides.
I hate this. I hate this I hate this I hate thisIhatethisIhatethisIhatethis—
This time. This time, Ekko fully expected she'd be up and gone. Because what else was there to expect? That she'd stay and wait for him with a 'welcome home' on her lips?
He was foolish, not delusional.
"Ekko, you alright?" Scar asked him.
He shrugged. Said he was fine.
The world was falling apart around them. War declarations made. Chembarons offing each other. Pilties making a new council. The new sheriff sniffing around for Jinx. Jinx on wanted posters. Jinx's name on Vi's mouth. On radio broadcasts. In his ears. In his head. All day every day.
She never really left him. Ever.
She was wrong. It wasn't fine.
He didn't come back until four days later, because he couldn't come here and be haunted by a shadow on his couch that wasn't there. Or look at his bathroom door without hearing her pain, or busy himself in his kitchen without wishing she was waiting on his counter. No, he filled his head with supplying the firelights, accommodating new shelter-seekers, complying with the sheriff so that they'd at least have her backing when the council blows things up like Jinx had blown them up. That's all everyone wanted to do these days. Blow up. Beat everyone up. Hurt someone. End someone.
It got tiring to a point that he'd rather wreck himself than hear everyone around him already wrecked.
And he got what he wanted at the sight of her on his couch. Again.
"Hey." He shook her by the shoulder. "What the hell, Jinx? Is this what we're doing, now? You're just gonna stay here when it—"
She's burning.
He was grabbing towels before he knew it. And a basin. Water. That antiseptic. Where was—it's all over the floor. Fuck . He ran to his bedroom. He didn't dare keep the pricey pills and ointments in the medicine cabinet, instead his trembling fingers ran across a hidden drawer disguised as his windowsill. He nearly tripped over himself as he ran back to the couch, soul twisting to reach her again.
Come back to me .
"You're so fucking ugly."
He blinked. His cheek brushed against a wet spot on the couch.
"That's so disgusting, Ekko."
"Mm." His eyes fluttered shut again.
She lifted her hand and flicked his forehead.
"Ow!" He snapped awake, sitting up straight and rubbed at the sore spot. "Why'd you—" The idiot stared at her. Jinx waited for the shouting. The cursing. The taunting.
It never came.
His hand reached for her forehead, checking if the towel had dried out, swiped it away and soaked his hand into the basin to wring out another towel.
"Why?" She asked, her voice still a little clogged. Why are you doing that?
He shook his head, gingerly replacing the towel back on her. "It's fine." His eyes met hers and his face dropped. "Were you crying? Something else hurt?"
She wiped the tears off. "Why do you care?"
He snapped a finger. "Focus. Does something else hurt right now?"
"No, sheesh, Ekko. I'm not a child." She tossed the towel at him and sat up slowly. "Wipe your face. You were drooling."
"Are you sure you're—"
"Yes. I'm fine."
"You've said that before."
She rolled her eyes, but kept quiet. She looked at her leg. Clean and bandaged. The smell of soap lingered in the air. "Did you…?"
"Yeah. I had to. Otherwise the pills would've been wasted."
"Pills?"
"Antibiotics. And something for the fever. You don't remember?"
She shook her head, frowning. "That stuff's hard to find. What do you want from me?"
"Hm?"
"Why'd you help me?"
"I couldn't just let you die on my couch."
"I'm not exactly the most sympathetic person in the world. How do I pay you back?"
"You don't need to—"
"Can you stop that? Just stop! I know you fucking hate me, so what do you want? Gossip on Sevika? Well, good fucking luck with that. I haven't been up twinkling my toes in that circle since—" Since you killed him? Mylo taunted. Jinx snapped her eyes at him, but quickly turned back to Ekko. "I don't—I got nothing for you. And if you want that stupid stone, you can forget it. You're just gonna give it back to the Pilties, anyway. Suck up."
He sighed, getting up to his feet. "I didn't help you for some dumb boon, Jinx."
"Then why?"
Pouty-face stared down at her. "You wouldn't get it." He turned around, heading for the kitchen.
She sneered. "So it's boy savior doing the savioring, huh? What, you're gonna feed me like I'm a baby?"
"I already did. But I guess you were too wasted to remember."
Heat crept up her cheeks. "You did not."
"Did too." He returned to her side with a plate of white bread. The fluffy loafy kind. Like those they sold at Piltie bakeries. "Eat up."
"How did you get that?"
"Does it matter? Just eat or I will feed you like a baby and this time I'll make sure you remember."
She never swiped anything so quickly in her life.
Oh god it's so soft. Jinx savored the first bite. Could use some cheese . But fresh bread was rare enough as it was. Whatever. She'll take what she can get. And maybe a light meal was a genius idea right now, actually. Her jaw and throat were stiff from disuse.
He sniffled beside her.
Her mouth was still full as she raised a brow, "What in the fuck?"
A chuckle left him. "It's nothing." He wiped his eyes, blinking up at the ceiling.
"You sick or something?"
He shook his head. The way he regarded her was unsettling, like a gibberish alphabet she's supposed to recognize. "I'm really glad you're up, Jinx." A faint smile lit up his face.
She looked away.
He didn't seem so glad just a few hours later.
Maybe the dum-dum thought she wouldn't notice, but he didn't want her up. At all. He said so himself. And he especially didn't trust her enough to be out of his sight. She knew this because he'd gone all the way to bring that broken stereo that he'd been trying to fix—spare parts and all—from his counter over to the coffee table so he could watch her be all useless on the couch while she stared at a second-hand romance novel ("My dad gave it to me," Ekko said. "I dunno why. All my good books are at the base. Maybe do a commentary on it or something?") whereas he got to tinker around with his prized darling of an entertainment device. Granted, it was broken, but still, it was better than what she had.
If she had any say in it, she'd be out of here as soon as she finished that fluffy bread, but her leg had other ideas. She hadn't even put on her whole weight on her feet before the wound flared up again. Ekko's " WHAT? WHAT IS IT???" would have been hilarious if she hadn't been so busy breathing through the pain.
Actually… A chuckle escaped her at the memory.
"Care to share?" he asked, still absorbed in his work.
"Nah, you wouldn't get it."
He rolled his eyes. "Sure. Keep your secrets."
"Trade?"
"Trade what?"
"Secrets."
"I've read that book, Jinx."
"Ew, no. I wasn't even reading it. I meant why I was laughi—wait. You read this thing?"
"I was very bored." She looked at him expectantly. "It's not bad, just…meh."
She shrugged. "So, trade?"
He gave it a thought. "Sure. What do you wanna know?"
"Why'd you help me?"
He stopped tinkering for a while, tapping a finger on the table. "I told you—"
"Did you do it for Vi?"
That took him aback. "No. Vi doesn't know that you're here."
"Ah…and here I thought my sweet sister would come looking for me."
"She is. I just…I didn't tell her."
"How come?"
"You're asking too many questions. Doesn't seem like a fair trade."
"You still haven't answered the first one, though. Why'd you help me?"
"I'm not answering that."
“Ooh, so you do have a reason?"
"What? No! Just…" He's tinkering again. "Look, I'm not gonna harass you for anything, I swear. It's just…personal, that's all."
"Personal? What, like you have a crush on me or something?"
He groaned. "I'm a stupid sappy little shit and I can't–" He was undoing a tight screw. "Let go–" Turning . "Of Powder." Turning . His arms relaxed as the screw turned and loosened. "There. You happy?"
"That's your big secret? Psh. I already knew that."
"Well, you ain't getting more from me. So what were you laughing at?"
She held up a hand to get his attention, cleared her throat, then, "jInX, wHAT'S gOinG oN???? Is iT yOur leG????? ArE yOu hUrt? WHAT IS IT? OH GOD ARE YOU GOING TO FAINT?¿??????"
His dead stare cackles her up.
"Oh, don't forget the, 'cAN yOu wALk tO tHe BathRoOm?? bUt wHaT iF yoU sLiP¿?¿?¿?!'"
"I'm glad my basic human decency entertains you so much."
She completely guffawed at that. "You call that basic?" She said, wiping a tear. Jinx took a moment to catch her breath, and even then a few giggles still escaped her. Ekko was unimpressed. "Oh, come on. It is funny."
"For you, maybe."
"Ekk–woah!" She's half fallen onto the carpet before her attempted poke could reach him. He's onto her in half a second.
" What ? Did you scratch yourself? Did you–" His mouth grew wide in incredulous embarrassment. "I can't believe you!"
"I got you! Admit it!"
"Yeah, yeah." He started mumbling. "As if I don't get enough of that at the base."
She managed to sit herself up on the carpet without messing up her leg. Their knees touched. Just like when they were kids. "Your firelights fake injuries?"
"No, it's just…I worry about them. It's the shimmer." He peeked at her face for a reaction and continued when he found none. "I never know what it'll do to them. The former addicts can be a lot. And once they're sober, they start doing things. Vigilante shit for themselves or their family. Stupid and reckless. Especially nowadays, with the…" He trailed off. "The stuff out there."
"What stuff?"
"Listen, I don't wanna stress you out. You need time to heal, Jinx. You're barely—"
"You'd get your ass in trouble if some folks find me, right? I remember you saying that. I have a good hunch why, but I need to hear it. Tell me."
He averts his eyes the way he does when he's hiding something. Little man wanned when he's a sorry man. "Trade?" He asked her.
"What do you wanna know?"
"Something silly. So?"
"It's no fair if you don't show your wares, bucko."
"You cheated our last deal, it's only fair."
"Me? I already knew your secret, boy genius!"
"Well, I didn't know that you knew."
"Not fair."
"I guess I'm keeping quiet, then."
"Agh! Fine! Tell me what's going on."
He breathed in. Dragged the stereo across the table so he could resume working. He busied his hands. "You're currently the most wanted person in both Piltover and Zaun combined," he said.
Her ears piqued at the name. Zaun .
Silco's dream.
"Sevika's in charge," Ekko continued. "She's culling off some gangs and chembarons to keep the undercity united. Some of the firelights are thinking she's gonna come after us. Then there's Piltover's war. Most of the old council died from…from your rocket. Noxus is getting involved. It's not looking good for us."
"Noxus?"
He nodded. "The warlord's daughter is Councilor Medarda. She's not in good condition, or so I last heard."
"Oh." So Zaun has come true, but for how long? Did Jinx single-handedly realize Silco's life's ambition, only to blow it up in the same stroke?
"My turn." He began pushing buttons on the stereo. The cassette slot wasn't closing right. "Did you at least hesitate when you chose Silco over me?"
"What?"
The silence was stifling. Screws rolled on the table as he took it apart, but he shouldn’t have been.
"The hook's crooked," she pointed out. "You just gotta—"
"I know. I'm replacing the whole casing."
"Why? That's a waste of—"
"I just want to." He turned to her sharply. She saw his eyes now. Really saw them, and her stomach dropped because ice laced his voice. "It doesn't matter why. I'll give it a new color and everything. It's not like the old casing's gonna miss me, right?"
Mylo should be screeching at her ear, saying things like you hurt him or he hates you or you did this . But there were no ghosts. Only the soft whistling of Ekko’s breath. And his smile that was out of place but one he freely gave. And a hollow in her chest that she didn't quite understand. "I..."
"Here, I'll show you," he said, reaching for a spare part she realized must be the replacement. "I used a mold to make this. Should be rust-proof. I only had trouble making holes for these slots here and…" She listened to him drone. And she returned his smile and made suggestions.
Their tight-lipped familiarity felt better than none at all.
"I told you, Scar, I'm fine. Just…give me a week—no, three days. Give me three days. I'm trying to piece together a plan."
Scar leaned on Ekko's doorframe, arms crossed. "What plan? You always ask for our opinion when something big happens. This isn't like you. The firelights can't keep up this…whatever limbo we are in right now. You may have swayed the Pilties that we're not trouble, but the chembarons are bound to jump our bones any day."
"Did you lay out the traps like I asked?"
Scar nodded.
"Then everyone should have enough time to evacuate if things ever get serious. For now, we lay low. It's the chembarons and the council at war. I don't want us becoming collaterals."
"What's on your mind?"
Ekko sighed. Yeah, Ekko? What's on your mind? What's the big plan? Oh, that's right—it's Fuck All. There's no plan. Only a terrorist in your bedroom and a heap of ignored responsibilities. "I can't tell you right now. I just need you to trust me, alright?"
Scar sighs, pinching the space between his brows. "Three days. If you're not back by midnight, we're gonna take it you're in trouble and come look for you."
"Yeah." It was their usual protocol. Be on the clock. Watch the time. That's why Scar was there, 'cause Ekko had been gone longer than he usually was. Because Ekko had been taking care of Jinx.
"Look out for yourself, man." Scar patted his shoulder. "Don't do anything you'll regret." He turned around, descended the stairs, his footfalls fading softly. Ekko stood still under his doorway.
Don't do anything you'll regret, Scar had said. What was that for?
"Psst!"
He turned. Jinx poked her head out of his bedroom. She mouthed silently, "He gone?"
"Yeah," Ekko said, closing the front door behind him—wait. "You can stand? Wha—"
Jinx pushed back and out she came, his desk chair rolling against his floor in soft rumbles, her braids swishing around as the seat twirled. "I miss this. I have a chair like this, too. Haven't seen him in a while."
Ekko ignored the personification of a non-sentient chair. "Hey, don’t move around so much. Your leg might—"
"Open and bleed out and I might die." She slumped and stuck her tongue out dramatically. "Relax. I'm reckless, alright, but I'm not one of your shimmer addicts. I'm fine."
"I wonder why I don't believe you."
She stuck her tongue out mockingly. "Keep talking like that and I'm gonna go through all your stuff."
"What?"
Jinx already pushed herself back into his room as soon as he began marching toward her. She swiveled by his closet, hugging a small carton box marked 'DO NOT OPEN'. The packaging tape had been torn.
"Don't you dare."
"Don't you have something important to do, Ekko? Ya know, like that super important plan your firelights have to miss you for?"
"Give up the box, Jinx."
"What is it? Your porn stash?"
"That doesn't make it your business."
She rolled her eyes, stretched her arms to surrender the box. "Fine."
He didn't trust it, but still he walked over to take the box from her. The tape had only been torn at the top. Only a bit. It didn't look like she had the chance to open it.
She was grinning up at him.
"What ?"
She shrugged, looking around the room. "Nothing."
"You're up to something."
"Nope," she said with a pop. Then pushed the chair all the way out of the room, leaving him with his box.
There's an empty nook above his kitchen shelf. Maybe when she's asleep he could—
"ONCE I HAD LOOOOVE AND WAS A GAS
SOON TURNED OUT I HAD A HEART OF GLASS"
He winced, shoving the box under the bed before going back to the living room. She must have slipped her hand into the box and got a single cassette.
“SEEMED LIKE THE REAL THING ONLY TO FIND
MUCHO MISTRUST LOVE’S GONE BEHIND”
“I didn’t know you used to sing,” She teased, leaning on her hand with her elbow on the counter. She made it up the counter stool and propped her feet on the swivel chair. The newly repaired stereo boomed beside her.
He cringed. “I didn’t. That was just something I did.” His voice was still high in this recording—a young boy’s shameless acapella.
“ONCE I HAD LOOOOVE AND IT WAS DIVINE
SOON FOUND OUT I WAS LOSING MY MIND”
“Yeah. Singing.”
“I did it once.”
“I shook that box, Ekko. There must be at least a dozen of those in there.”
“The others are mixes. I made them for some friends.”
“Why the ‘DO NOT OPEN’, though?”
“IN BETWEEN WHAT I FIND IS PLEASING AND I’M FEELING FINE
LOVE IS SO CONFUSING THERE’S NO PEACE OF MIND”
“They’re gone,” he simply said.
“IF I FEAR I’M LOSING YOU
IT’S JUST NO GOOD
YOU TEASING LIKE YOU DO”
“So why keep them if you don’t want to listen to ‘em anyway?”
He shrugged. “I told you. I’m sappy.”
“LA, DA, DA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA”
“You could wipe them. Record something new,” she said.
“Like what?”
“LA, DA, DA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA”
“Your own song.”
“LA, DA, DA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA
YEAH RIDING HIGH / ON LOVE’S TRUE BLUISH LIGHT ”
He chuckled. “I don’t got time for that.” He pressed the buttons and fished out the cassette, twisting the reel so the tape’s all the way back on one side. “Not anymore.”
“What if I helped you with your firelights?” She played with the buttons on the stereo. “You won’t last this war without supplies. There’s a former smuggling road down in the caves. Sevika doesn’t know shit about it, but she’s gonna want to. You could use that however you like.”
He studied her. “You’d give me information like that?”
“Consider it payback. For helping me.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I don’t like owing people.”
“My help isn’t transactional.”
“Ugh. Fine. Consider it a trade, then. I give you a smuggling road and you give me a new tape.”
“What would you want to do with a–”
“That’s my business.” She just loved to use his words against him, didn't she? “So? Deal?”
“Shouldn’t you be getting more out of a whole smuggling road than just a tape?”
“You want me to raise my price?”
“No.” He raised his hands in surrender. “No, it’s a deal. As long as you’re legit.”
She smirked. “Oh, you’ll be quite satisfied with this one.”
It was legit, alright. He went out to see for himself that same day.
According to Jinx, before Silco started his smuggling, back when airships seemed like a dream to him, he thought about using these caves as a highway. Boulders could be moved aside, rocks stacked to serve as steps when needed. Jinx described odd stalagmite formations that led to a crossroads, one of which apparently went under the river and rose to Piltover. Following the path south led to another crossroads, one leading further down and exiting to the surface near a merchant road to Shurima, and another leading east to the mountain ranges and up ashore, where daring sailors could bring the goods to Bilgewater.
“I thought for sure you’d gotten lost in there,” Jinx said when he got back that night.
“Me? Who do you think you’re talking to?”
She laughed. “So? Tape?”
He shook his head, smiling, then walked over to the bedroom to fetch the box.
He glanced at his watch. It was already 2 am. His brain was fried.
"Come on, Ekko, that can't be it."
“How would you write it, then?”
“I don’t know, but you’re gonna need a hook.”
“Rap songs can do without a hook.”
“Yeah, and they’re all garbage.”
He gasped. “Say sike right now.”
She threw up her hands. “I say no lies.”
“Yup. That’s it. I officially hate you.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“If I do, will you take it back?”
She gave him her best pout.
“That—” Ekko laughed, shaking his head. “That face has got to be illegal.”
“So you’ll write a hook?”
“You’ll take it back?”
She swiped the sheet of paper off the coffee table and turned to scribble on the couch instead, shooing him when he tried to peek over her shoulder. “Go away.”
“It’s my song.”
“And I commissioned it. It was a trade, remember?”
He decided to give up, lay on the carpet, and resign himself to watching her from the floor. She made faces, stared at a distance, held the pen between her upper lip and her nose while studying the words.
He could have had this.
"What was that?" She stopped her work to look down at him.
"What was what?"
"You said something."
"Did I?" He laid an arm over his eyes. Stupid. She's not yours to have. She made that choice. She didn't choose this. And she's only still here 'cause her leg hasn't healed yet. She wouldn't even be here if Silco was still alive.
"I missed this, you know."
His arm shifted just enough to let him peek. Nostalgia swam in her eyes.
"I missed this," she repeated. "This thing we did. Making stuff. Fixing stuff. Finding ways to have fun while the grown-ups did their boring work..."
Yeah. And the trust. Vi's occasional harsh comments that you never held against her but never forgot, Mylo's constant criticism, my parents staying at work on my birthdays, Benzo's cursing when I broke something in his shop. The nooks only we knew about. The wounds we only showed each other and no one else.
"I missed it, too," he said, too tired to question why.
Ooh, yeah, he mad I'm racking up white diamonds
Throw me in the sky, you would swear the sun shining.
She's a genius.
She's so beautiful.
He's so in love he could hardly breathe.
He composed himself. Himself was a thing that he had to compose. If he didn’t, he would break.
Because his house had never been so full even though they only had coffee table drum beats and whatever beatboxing they could manage. Jinx carried their whole song through with her perfectionist streak. She had so much energy for someone who’d been boiling with a fever a few nights ago and it was contagious. The mirth spread through his body like shimmer, from the tips of his toes to the tears in his eyes. By dawn’s light, they were completely passed out.
And now the tape was done. She could stand up and walk with a little limp, but her wound was completely closed. She could leave if she wanted to.
He woke up on his carpet well past noon.
She'd fallen asleep beside him.
He closed his eyes again, just listening to her breathe.
Maybe he was already broken from the beginning. Maybe that was why he helped her.
"No."
"Yes!"
"No."
"Yes!"
"Don't you have to dry it out first?"
"Well, yeah, but you can still braid it later."
"I…" If he did that, he'll have to sit close to her, smell his shampoo on her hair, his soap on her skin. And as if he wasn't already hyper aware that she's wearing his shirt, he would also have to touch her nape and downy hairs. Were they as soft as they looked? Would he have shed hair between his fingers when he was done? Was that how she wanted to hurt him again? To leave him with indisputable proof of her which he'll have to throw away before someone could find out? To leave him picking her hair up from his floor as he picked up the pieces of his heart?
"Please?"
She asked so nicely, though.
"Okay."
He gathered her hair, rousing a wave of goosebumps through her skin at the feel of his fingers in her scalp. A sharp tug pulled a moan from her throat.
He apologized. "Too hard?"
She pushed the scandalous thoughts away. "No. Keep going." She closed her eyes, resting her head on the couch. For some reason, her demons were deadly quiet. They should be teasing. Making fun of her. Dirty dirty. Naughty naughty. What, did she ask him to touch her so she could paint scenes in her head like some kind of pervert? Absolutely not. She just didn't feel like doing her braids. She was being lazy, that's all.
"When I get back, I expect Vi will come ask about you."
She made the mistake of sitting up straight. The way he sat behind her made his knee brush against her behind. Too close. She cleared her throat. "You gonna rat me out?"
"Depends."
"On?"
"Whether she finds blue hair on my jacket."
She laughed. "I'm not a cat."
"Of course not. You're a clingy ass sloth."
"I'm clingy? You're the one who keeps hovering over me! I said I can walk!"
"Yeah, like a grandma."
"Rude!"
"Sorry grandma."
She slapped his thigh.
"Ow! You'll make me mess up the braid!"
"You'll just have to do it again, dontcha?"
His laugh tickled her insides. If she turned around, what would she see? Was that laugh real? Was he genuinely happy being like this with her? Or was it only his sense of charity yadda yadda yadda that made him sit with a walking disaster like they were children on a playdate?
"He wants something from you," Mylo offered as an explanation.
Her breath hitched.
"What? Did that hurt?" Ekko asked.
"No, I just thought about something. Don't worry about it." She leaned on the couch again. Closed her eyes. He was far along the braid now. It's like he wasn't touching her anymore. For some reason, it felt wrong. But why? Was she getting too comfortable? Was she attaching herself to the closest person now that her only family was gone? Clingy, he'd said. Was he right? Was she going soft? No, no, no. That can't happen. If Mylo was right and Ekko wanted to use her…
She should leave soon. Very soon. Yeah, that was probably for the best. Maybe tomorrow her limp wouldn't–
"I don't hate you," he suddenly said. "When you woke up from that fever–like really woke up–you kept asking why I helped you; said you knew I hated you. But it's not true. I meant it when I said I didn't help you for some kind of reward. I just thought I should say that now that you've done me a favor."
"So why did you help me?"
"I already answered that." I can't let go of Powder, she recalled him say. Why did everyone want Powder now that she was gone?
"If I believed you and joined your little firelights, do you think I could have stayed the same? Do you think Vi would still love me like she used to?"
She waited.
And waited.
"Jinx, I think that Vi would love you no matter what—"
"Wrong. You weren’t there. You should have seen her."
"I have seen her. She's all over the place looking for you."
"And then what? Will she leave her pretty Piltie girlfriend to stay with me? Or will she help the enforcers chuck me into stillwater where all of you think I belong?"
Silence.
"Yeah," she sneered. "Can't say anything now, can you? Because it's true. Violet won't stay with me. She doesn't even know me anymore. Why would she—" Something hot ran down her cheek. Fuck. She wiped it away. So weak. So fucking pathetic.
"She loves you," Ekko declared. "And she'll put up with you. No matter what. It's like you don't know how stubborn she can be. If I can put up with you, I know she can."
His words ran wild in her head: I put up with you.
He did, didn’t he?
Ekko stayed with her.
Ekko took care of her even when he shouldn't .
Her chest swelled against her will. Violet seemed like an afterthought against the glaring present: Ekko was there. With her. For her. Running his fingers through her scalp, letting her wear her hair the way she wanted it: her signature twin braids that screamed 'JINX'.
Could he maybe…?
Is it possible?
She took a risk and turned around.
He failed to notice the way she looked at him while he did the last few inches of her braids. He should have.
"All done."
A split second let Jinx lift and prop herself on him—on his thighs. Her arms wrapped around his neck. Her lips just barely grazed his, offering him the ghost of a kiss.
He mustered the will to not close his eyes and drown. "What are—"
"Why did you really help me?"
"Jinx, this is–"
"Powder," she corrected. He turned away when he thought she was about to lean in—ready to deny her in the name of sheer common sense—only to feel her hot breath on his ear and her fingers floating above his hips. "If I'd never been Jinx, if I chose you that night, would you kiss me?"
He swallowed.
Her lashes fluttered as she pulled away to seek out his eyes. "What if...what if I want you to show me what I could have had? Just for tonight?"
They can't. They absolutely can't. He tried to speak his thoughts into reality, but they wouldn't escape him.
"Do you think about me, Ekko?" A kiss on his chin. Her chest pressed against him and his breath stopped. She was so soft. "I know you have me on that little mural of yours. Some kind of grave for loved ones." She touched their foreheads, stared into his soul, traced his bottom lip with her thumb. "You did love me, right?"
"I—it's—of course I loved you—"
She devoured him.
"Wait," he spoke between bites and sucks and drunken bliss. "Jinx—"
"I loved you, too." She pulled away, leaning into him like she's whispering to his heart. "Powder loved you. In all the ways she could. But Jinx never thought about you one bit, except maybe now." She rose again to flash those eyes of hers. Purple as shimmer. They said it tasted sweet, like summer fruit from Piltover's markets. "Wouldn't you rather do this with Powder than Jinx?"
"We're not—"
"Aren't you curious?"
He really should've been mortified at the moan that left him when she rolled her hips.
"You can push me away, you know." Wet lips trailed to his neck, to his shoulder. She suckled there; grinded harder as his blood rushed south. A chuckle. "You haven't even been trying."
"Powder…" He made the mistake of nuzzling her hair. She smelled like him. Like she belonged here. Like she was his.
"Let me help you, little man." Slender fingers wrapped around his wrists, leading one hand to the back of her neck, and the other to her derriere—the only barrier from her skin being the shorts he lent her. Her underwear had been hung in the bathroom, clean and damp. "Your hands can actually do things. Take me or push me away," she said. She pressed a chaste kiss at the edge of his mouth, her eyes leaking pure sin. "There's no in-between."
He completely lost it when she bit her lip.
He bit it too, because fuck he was curious; always wanted to know what it'd be like to hear her gasp and mewl when he squeezed her ass and pushed his hips against her core, to hear her sing his name when he pulled on her braid and sucked a bruise on her collarbone. He acted on his fantasies, reveled in her sounds as he left marks on her skin. She's so perfect. So delicious.
She brought his face back up to her lips, but he's the one who led, the one who pressed and chased and stole her breath and searched for her sweet tongue. She could be his. The gods know he was already hers.
For some reason, that thought pulled him back up the surface.
He took a moment to breathe. It felt like he'd been inhaling too much toxic gas from the fissures. He had to reign in his thoughts one by one: this was Jinx, Jinx was dangerous. Dangerously beautiful. Moonlight bounced off her hair, crowning her in a soft glow. He must have been dreaming. Yes, that must be it. He was lost in delusional slumber.
But she's just as breathless as he was. Her fingers felt real as they laced into his. Her thighs felt right around his hips.
Her giggling lured him in deeper. "Your lips are all pink."
Huh?
"Well, not all pink, just kinda. I think it's the shimmer." He frowned cause she's one to talk. Her lips were pink, too. Or was that more red? He did that, didn't he? He kissed her. She kissed him. She's right there, warm and willing and smiling on top of him. "Ekko, can we—"
"Let me take you to bed," he said. Like a madman.
She bit her lip again in excitement, then as if controlling it, she tilted her head, her face contorting to a pleading pout. "I'm not good enough to rail right here right now?"
Fuck. He throbbed in his pants. "It'll be more comfortable."
"I don't mind." She rocked her hips.
No, he thought. Not like this. He tried to still her movements, swallowed a lump in this throat. "What would Powder want?"
"Powder wouldn't care."
"Well, I do." He took her lips again—felt like he couldn’t last a minute without them—but he's sober enough to pull away. Just barely. He wanted to seduce her, too. His palm traced up her thighs, fingers tickling the sensitive flesh. He denied her a kiss when she leaned in for it, prefering to whisper low in her ear. "Just for tonight, right? Let me show you." Let me give you everything you could have had.
She bolted up to her feet, tugging at his hand.
"Is your leg—"
"Shut up."
He couldn't help but chuckle at her frustration. He let her pull him to his feet, to his room. If she was pulling him to his death, he'd never know. His world was all about her sweaty palms and flushed skin and the way her face grew redder as she stood by the bed and crossed her arms to take off the shirt she borrowed.
"Wait." He grabbed an arm. "Keep it on."
"Why? Don't you wanna see me?"
"I want it on you." He kissed her until she pulled away for breath; guided her down on the bed and propped himself on one arm, found her lips again, one hand lost between her skin and his shirt, grazing a breast. "But if you want it off…"
"No," she whined against his mouth. Their foreheads touched. She wrapped her arms and legs around him. As if she wanted him as much as he wanted her. "I want you to lead. Make love to me. Tell me what to do. Give me everything."
She couldn't possibly be real.
"No, I'm right here." Gentle hands cradled his face. Like she didn't want to break him. "Ekko?"
"I love you, Powder."
Purple tears welled in her eyes. "I know."
"Won't you lie to me?" A soft kiss. Two. "Let me have you? Just for tonight?"
"I'm not a liar, Ekko." She kissed his jaw. "But you have me. I'm all yours."
There's a sharp twist in his heart. He wanted to suffocate her in pleasure as revenge. Maybe if he got drunk in her sounds, he could forget that she didn't love him.
He got on his knees, rid himself of his clothes piece by piece: the scarf, then the vest, then the singlet. Slow and taunting. He needed to see her see him, needed to see her watch him and want him. Maybe he could pretend the desire in her eyes was more than just lust.
She lifted herself to take off her shorts—his shorts.
He took her hand. "Let me." She surrendered, her skin flushing as he made her bare. She was completely and utterly ravishing like this. In his shirt. On his bed. Legs spread. Eyes hooded.
If she was breathless, it would be perfect.
She gasped at the first kiss he laid inside her thighs, her fingers curling around the sheets, eyes clenching when he brought his finger to her clit. Her hips rolled to chase her own pleasure.
"Look at me."
She propped herself on her elbow and met his eyes—only for her head to drop back down the pillow at the feel of his tongue. "Mm…"
He stopped. "Look at me. You wanted me to show you, right? Then watch."
She propped herself up again. He loved the way she swallowed.
If Ekko didn't hate her before, then surely now he did. She just knew it.
His tongue lapped, lips sucking and nibbling at her clit like he was famished, his breath on her pelvis made her impossibly hot. His fingers would probably bruise with how tight he held down her thighs between his shoulders, but she didn't find it in her to care, not when she couldn't feel her hips, couldn't control her muscles clenching and unclenching, rising and falling and rolling against his face.
She moaned loudly when he finally put a finger inside her.
Suddenly everything stopped.
"I said open your eyes." That was the fourth time he did that. He stopped whenever she forgot she was supposed to look. "It's so simple, Powder."
"I'm sorry." His gaze was so intense she could burn. "Please…"
His finger sank into her slowly. She bit her lip and held back a moan. "Let me hear you," he said.
"Ekko…"
He began pumping in earnest; stroked her clit with his other hand.
"Ah! Hah–!" She could fly. "Please…!" Her head had fallen back to the pillow again. She was gonna cover her mouth in shame, but Ekko didn't like that, either. "Ekko, please don't stop. I'm so–"
He stopped.
"No!" She bolted up, pulled him up for a messy kiss, reached down to guide his hand on her. "I can't take it anymore!"
"You want to cum?"
She nodded.
"Lie to me," he said against her lips, rubbing her clit in lazy circles. "A fair trade, yeah? A temporary lie for a temporary pleasure?"
"Please…"
"You don't have to mean it." His fingers worked her faster.
"I…I…"
"Yes?"
She whined.
"Come on." He slipped his finger in deep again, rubbing her clit with the heal of his palm. She clung to his triceps. "You want me to rail you? Dick you down good? Make love to you? Give you everything?" He stopped again, pulling choked sobs out of her as she leaned on his shoulder. "You can't just keep taking and never give, Powder."
She rocked against his fingers. "Please…"
"I know, I know. You're such a good girl. So sweet for me." He kissed her, nibbled her lip bloody. "But I can't have you. I can't. How can I show you what you could have had if I keep remembering that it's not real, hm?" He pumped her again, buttering her up just to leave her hanging.
"I…I love—mm! You—!"
His lashes brushed against her cheek. "What was that?"
"Iloveyou—please! "
"You love me? I thought you were just horny?"
With a grunt, she shifted her weight and grabbed his hands, shoving him down the bed and trapping him between her legs. Her hair hung over his face. "I've been so nice to you." She pressed her core against his bare length, trapping his hands next to his head as she rolled her hips. "I gave you what you wanted."
"You didn't let me finish." The punk had the gall to smile up at her.
"You wouldn't let me finish!"
"Wanna use me?" He taunted. "Go ahead. Use me." It was clear in his eyes. He didn't think she could last.
"I'll show you who's horny." Her hand slipped between them and she gave him a tight squeeze, inciting a moan from him. "Not such a big bad boy, now, are you?"
He reached up to palm her chest through the shirt. "Do you want me to be?"
Why does he have to be like that? His eyes glazed over as she pumped him nice and slow. "I want you inside me," she said.
"Yeah?" She wanted to slap his smug face. "I wouldn't wanna tire you out. You seemed ready to—"
She rubbed his head across her labia.
He hissed. "Shit, Powder. Fuck me."
She pouted. "Are you sure you want that, little man?"
He started to get up, but she pushed his chest back down. She leaned into him, tracing circles around his nipple and planting kisses across his chest. She pushed a braid out of the way. Her hair must have been completely messed up at that point. Did he notice? Did it excite him? "Do you want me, Ekko?"
"Yes, Jinx, you know I—"
A nail scraped against his abs. " Who?"
"Powder." He was panting. "I don't care. You can call yourself fucking Rapunzel and I'll still want you—"
She crawled up to kiss him stupid. Not that she had to. He was so fucking dumb. And a liar. A sweet, salty liar.
"Jinx—" He should shut up. Stop thinking. She kissed him like she wanted to eat his soul. "Jinx—"
"Shut up." She parted, breathless, to reach between them and guide his head into her empty hole.
He grabbed her wrist with one hand and guided her chin with the other ’til she could see his eyes. "I love you," he said.
…
"I love you, Jinx."
…
"I love–"
She impaled herself on his cock.
Their voices filled the room with a lustful song as her hips moved in sensual strokes. Instinct. Like nothing had ever felt more natural than the feel of his dick rubbing inside her. Stretching her. Poking at her cervix and searching for that good spot she couldn't find alone with her fingers. The size of him stung somewhat, but it was one of those good pains. And if she rolled at a certain angle, she could rub up her clit against his—
Oh.
Oh.
OH.
"Ekko?" If she wasn't so goddamn horny, she'd be laughing at his face. "Did you…?"
"I'm sorry—" He was all choked up. "I couldn't—I'll clean us up if you want."
"You're just gonna leave me unsatisfied? Doesn't seem fair." She resisted the urge to grind against him, feeling him soften inside her. Could she crush his hips if she went at him hard enough? She couldn't possibly, right? If she could, would he let her? "Where's that cheeky little punk who fingered me silly, hm? Or was that just a ploy to keep me frustrated so I'll ride you ‘til you black out? Heh. Didn't work so well for you, huh?" Jinx laced their fingers together, holding tight as she leaned in to whisper against his lips. "I bet you loved coming inside me."
He whimpered.
She laughed. "Wanna earn another shot, big boy?" She lifted herself off of him completely, lying on her back on the other side of the bed, arms stretched above her, legs opening to sate his wide eyes. "When you're done gaping, you should—"
He's above her again, touching her clit, caging her under his warmth. "You're a such a fucking tease, you know that?"
"Will you shut me up?"
She lost herself in his kiss again. And his fingers. Her slickness echoed in the room. Was there even a world outside, anymore? Seemed impossible.
"Fuck, you're so hot, Jinx." He was looking down at her core, slipping a finger in. She can feel him pushing his come into her.
"Pervert."
"Is this really okay?" She's half annoyed that he's lucid enough to ask. "What if…?"
"Let me worry about that." Her arms wrapped around him. "Right now I just want you. Don't let me think about anything else."
He looked at her that way again. The way he did before he took off his clothes. The way he did when she said she wouldn't lie. The way he did when she didn't say 'I love you' back. Bitter. Sad. Angry.
Did he really love her? Was she hurting him because she couldn't believe that he could? Was she being completely selfish when she first kissed him?
"We can stop," she said.
He blinked. "What?"
"If you don't want to do this, we can stop."
"Jinx, I have a finger inside you right now. What makes you think I don't want this?"
"You love me." The words should have come easier than they did. "You love me, but I…I can't lo—"
He caught her lips with his. "Let me worry about that, alright?”
“Why?” Why do you let me get away with this?
“I want to taste you again. Is that okay?"
"Don’t you want me to touch you, too?”
He kissed her with a smile. "I wanna make you cum. For real this time."
She should say no. She should stop being selfish. She should let him go.
"Okay."
When she dies, she must be bound to spend a thousand eternities in hell. That was the only possible way she could ever make up for the pure heaven of his tongue in her cunt.
When she snapped, her vision blurred. He kept sucking and licking through her release. Her hips jerked against his tight hold, her nerves pulsing and head drained of all thoughts save for his name.
Maybe it was also a punishment. She'll never have him again. And she'll be too ruined for anyone else and will never feel this good again. Never be this loved again.
"I love you."
Did he have to keep saying it?
He traced kisses up her stomach, her heart, her neck, till he was on her lips again. "I love you."
Did he have to flaunt that in her face? The ability to love?
"Jinx, can I?" He's hard again.
Was she really unable to love him back? Or was that just something she made up so she wouldn't get hurt when she jinxes him like she always does?
She cupped his face like he's gilded porcelain. Can she put him back together if she broke him? Glue him back together with precious gold instead of black tar? "Do you really want this?" Are you real?
"Yes," he confessed with hooded eyes. "Do you?"
Maybe just for tonight, she could imagine that she loved him back. "Yes."
He gathered their cum on his length, stroking himself slick. She held her breath as he eased into her, wrapping her legs around him in an invitation to sink in and join her in that manic haze where love and lust had no line.
And boy, did he sink.
Her eyes shut on instinct. He slid in so smoothly she felt herself sucking him in, like her body had a mind of its own and knew Ekko was a good thing to have. Their cum made everything so wet and easy. His body was just as hot and hard above her as his dick was inside her. Did he feel it, too? When she touched herself, her cunt felt all velvety and fleshy, damp enough to make her fingers prune after. Was that a good feeling for him? It must be. He busted his nut inside her so quickly, earlier.
He twitched inside her when she opened her eyes and moaned softly just to taunt him. "You gonna last this time, little man?"
He chuckled. "I'll take care of you, don't worry."
He rolled his hip in a slow, delicious rhythm that had her both limp and trembling, her body dancing to meet his hips, his cock. Her fingers were lost in his dreads, their breaths lost in the heat, their eyes lost in each other.
A finger on her clit drove her to delirium. Was it her or his? Was she dead or alive? Was she a person in Runeterra or a star in the sky? Did any of that matter when he was panting above her, saying her name like a prayer, sweat trinkling down his temple?
She leaned up to lick it off him and nipped on his earlobe. "Give it to me harder."
He groaned and picked up the pace.
It was so good. Between him pounding, knocking on her cervix and him rubbing through her walls like he was trying to kindle a fire, her wits slowly melted away. Addicting combination. Repetition. Desperation. Again, again, again, again, againagainagainagainagainagain—
"You've been awfully quiet, Jinx." He kept pumping her like a stud. "What's wrong? Can't think straight once you've got my dick inside you?"
Oh you fucking—
"You're just so perfect, aren't you? Can you open wider for me?"
Her cheeks burned up so hard it hurt to look at him. She turned away, spread her legs like a butterfly.
"Jinx," he warned, palming her thigh, his thrust slowed. "I need you to look at me."
A high sound escaped her at his sharp thrust—something between a sob and a whine. He returned her gaze with tenfold intensity. He was so hot. So hot. So hot—
"That's my good girl." He sped up again. He was messing her up, messing her up, messing her up.
"Harder, Ekko—Mmph!"
He hammered away. "Of course you want it harder." Sharp thrust, slow circles, then before she could whine, he was nailing her to the bed again. "You think I don't know how you love it when I dig into you? You clamp around me, do you know that? You couldn't be more obvious if you tried." He dove down to kiss her open mouth. She focused on chasing her breath and feeling him stoke her higher and higher and higher. He pulled away, lifiting his shirt above her right breast, sucking on her nipple, licking at the blue clouds, then he was back up on her lips. Was he just as addicted to her as she was to him? "I just love seeing you like this," he said, reaching down to stroke her clit again. "Just taking my cock. Pretty needy thing."
"Mm! Ah, Ekko, you're so good to me—!"
He shifted just enough to hoist her leg up his shoulder, then started lowering himself close to her again as he fucked her hole, stretching her hamstrings in the process. The pain tightened a coil below her stomach. "You can take it, right? You're so limber." He was so deep and so good. God, was this how she dies? It wasn't so bad. She wouldn't mind. "Will you come for me?"
Her release tremored through her in one—two—three waves, with little aftershocks that had her wondering if her hips will ever come down and stop stuttering. In that second, there was nothing but them. His sheets. His breath. His kisses. Was he still fucking her? Oh.
"Are you gonna come?" She asked. Her hands cupped his face again as he nodded, eyes clenched, lost in his pleasure. "Wanna come inside me?"
His eyes answered for him. He was so beautiful. He was so–
everything.
He was everything.
She met him halfway. "I love you."
He shattered like a glass balloon, up so high, iridescent, then all at once sharp and dangerous. He throbbed with each pump of cum, and if his skin felt hot, his seed was searing. She'd be a fraud if she said the risk wasn't exciting, but his fingers trembling and gripping her ass, his dick pressed deep in her cunt, and the way he repeated her name—the right one—over and over and over and over, was what made her want more.
And there laid the real danger. She shouldn't keep wanting this. She was supposed to be sated. It was stupid. Why did she say that? She broke him without thinking, only for him to shower her with jagged crystals in retaliation. He had always been good at this—their little dance. If she drew blood, he would take the knife and match their wounds like a grotesque friendship bracelet. Only this wasn't friendship. She'd always imagined it as a sort of rivalry if not complete loathing, because accepting that it was something sappy like unrequited love meant embracing the idea that he could love someone—something—like her, and that she did not, in fact, love him. And somehow that had never actually been fully untrue.
But if she let him know that…
She had seen what happened to people she loved and loved her back.
Not Ekko. Not chubby-cheeked, pouty-faced, sad-eyed, Ekko who hovered around her when she was sick and injured, who tended a nice little garden of friends and firelights, who zipped through the fissures like one of those masked heroes in barbershop stories.
"Jinx?" He laid breathless beside her, his arm warm across her stomach. She could feel herself dripping with him. "You okay?"
Do you always have to talk to me like I'm gonna break? "Yeah."
"Something on your mind?" A mark was blooming on his shoulder. She resisted the urge to reach for it, resisted testing whether he'd smile if she told him it was there.
"It's nothing."
"Talk to me." He pushed a hair out of her face. So tender. "Please?"
I'm not weak. I can resist you. "Do I have to?"
She hated how his glow faded. "I'd like it if we did."
Fine. You want to talk? "I'm sorry," she said, closing her eyes. "This was a mistake."
She waited. What was it gonna be? Disbelief? A burst of betrayal? Cussing? Taunting? Bad names? Angry oaths?
"Run away with me."
Ah, yes, the hopeless plea. A classic. She shoved the blanket aside and rose. "Don't worry, it's just the sex brain talking. You should recover in a few minutes."
"Jinx–"
"I heard somewhere that women should pee after sex. Can I at least do that?" She shouldn't have turned. He looked like a lost puppy.
"Will you come sleep here, Pow? Just for tonight?"
…
…
Surely sleeping next to him won't hurt them anymore than she already did.
The worst part was after.
There hadn't been any talk. None. She slipped away in the night when he blacked out—and he tried not to. He tried to hold on to the few precious hours with her head on his chest. He was a craven–too afraid to spook her if he let out the slightest sound, so he laid there quieter than a pebble in a riverbed, soaking in her hair; her presence.
The worst part was after.
Because he was wrong. She did not leave a single trace of herself in his house. No hairs on his floor. No used bandages. She replaced the bag in his trash bin, so even the packaging of the pills that saved her were nowhere to be found. The clothes she borrowed were thrown into the hamper. Nothing odd unless the sheriff herself came here with a fancy tracking dog. Highly unlikely given the political climate.
It's like it never happened.
Except the stereo sat on his coffee table with a cassette tape beside it. The tape's label had been scribbled over with thick black ink. It was reused, after all. But if you cared enough to look, the overlapping scribbles were made almost entirely of 'X's. And at a corner, a small, pencil-drawn 'X' had been underlined.
He kept that one in his box, at home with all the other tapes that were supposed to be for her.
"Explain this."
Sheriff Kiramman seemed miles away from the broken, grieving woman Vi described her to be. But he knew to play his cards. How easy would it be for these enforcers to eat up any aggression from him and take it as a political statement. Ugh. He hated feeling like some slimy politician, but the Firelights (yes, it’s a capital ‘F’ now) were officially recognized as a non-threatening refugee organization by Piltover—which meant free aid. The Firelights needed to provide for their growing numbers while they were figuring out how to defend the new underground road.
Clueless and compliant it was, for now.
"What is that?” It looked like a bunch of fuzzy photographs.
"My agents have spotted Jinx near this old apartment complex. Your friend Scar told me you know the place?”
He rolled his eyes. “I grew up there. My parents work their asses off everyday to give me that home.”
“Have you had any contact with Jinx in the past seven days?”
“No,” he answered; and it wasn’t a lie. It was already the eighth day since that night. “And if I did, it wouldn’t be for long. I’d probably be shot in a split second if not dead.”
“Are you aware of any reason she might threaten your safety?”
Yes. I edged her six times and came in her twice. “Not anymore. Without Silco, the Firelights don’t really—”
Vi interrupted. “She meant you, Ekko. Personally.”
He looked between them. “No. Should I be worried?”
Caitlyn shook her head, exhausted by their hopeless hunt. “We were just making sure you were safe.”
“I’m not gonna lie,” said Vi. “I was kinda hoping Powder was feeling a little nostalgic for a moment there. One could hope.”
“In any case,” said Caitlyn. “It’s in our mutual interest if you watch around. Vi tells me you’re good at surveillance, yourself. And you know the area and can move around the undercity better than—”
“Zaun.”
Caitlyn waved a hand. “Zaun. You can move around the place more freely than any enforcer.”
“How exactly is this a ‘mutual interest’ thing?”
“Aren’t you at all concerned that the Jinx has been seen in your neighborhood?“
“We’re not all cowards down here at Zaun. And Jinx hasn’t attacked anyone down here since Silco.”
“Jinx has bombed at least two—”
“The Firelights are an unarmed neutral organization in this war; and we can’t stay neutral if you keep having us do your dirty work. The chembarons are already unhappy that we let you come and go here like we’re buddy-buddies. I would very much like to exclude us from this very high-profile manhunt.”
Vi spoke. “Do you at least know how involved Powder is with the chembarons? Is that bounty even for real or just a ruse? Is she acting independently or…?”
“Vi, my job here is to protect refugees, not play spy for anybody.”
“Do you really not care, Ekko?
“Are you really just here to guilt trip me into doing what you want? Because if you are, then you can keep your aid. We can find our own way to survive, like we always have.” He looked over her shiny new enforcer ‘fit. “I guess you’ve found yours.”
That shut her up. Caitlyn spoke, “I apologize for—”
“Keep it. Unless you’re advocating in the council for diplomacy, you’re not actually helping. Only playing angel.” Ekko asked Scar to escort them out.
Scar definitely knew.
He didn’t look angry, though, just mildly pissed. And rightly so. He told Ekko not to do anything he'll regret, and maybe Scar thought he'll regret being with Jinx, or regret lying to enforcers and letting her get away, but Scar would understand. He understood better than anyone. Scar had been an addict. He had family and friends that were addicts. Are addicts.
When you love someone, you might give up, but you always hope. You always care. Even from afar.
It never mattered why.
Ekko found her in his parents' house.
For a moment, all was still. The lights were out—electricity was a miracle here, and as always his parents weren’t around—but he felt the world’s weight leave his shoulders at the sight of her curled up like a cat on his couch in the middle of the night. The lively beat of a cassette song filled the empty space.