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As agreed, the two men, Simon Riley and John MacTavish had kept quiet about the night at the old broken down house. They had stayed somewhat distant, keeping a normal relationship and acting as if nothing had changed between them. Of course, that was the complete opposite.
One night, they decided to finally hang out and have a couple drinks together. It wasn’t an unusual thing for them, yet they didn’t do it all that often.
They were alone again that night, back in an old room at base. No one would come looking for them, that was for sure. Soap knew this, and in his half drunken state, decided to ask what had been on his mind.
“Ghost?” He said it, almost in a whisper. “What are we?”
“I thought it pretty obvious?” Ghost says. The entire night, he had been careful of drinking around Soap; Turning his head to lift his mask and take sips from his drink.
“Obvious?” Soap almost scoffed at this. “I can't tell what I am to ya anymore, L.T.”
“Well, I thought it pretty obvious we’re together, no?” He sounded almost annoyed. “Whadda take me for?”
Soap’s ears burnt up. “I dunno.” He didn’t want to come right out and say something like, ‘I want to spend more time together, dammit. If we are what you say we are, then please make time for me!’ It was too needy. Too embarrassing to outwardly say such a thing.
Ghost fought within himself too. While he wanted to apologize for having to stay closeted like this, he also felt as though he shouldn’t have to.
“Fuck, L.T…” Soap sighs, running a hand through his hair. “‘S hard knowin’ how you feel about me y’know?” Ghost only stared, saying nothing. He knew he was a hard character to read, but he didn’t feel the need to change himself. It was better if he acted distant and uncaring in a way.
“Johnny,”
There’s that again.
“I’m doin’ my best. I promise.” He didn’t know whether or not to add an ‘I love you’ to the end of that sentence, but Soap did for him.
“I love you, Simon.”
“I…” He had never said something like this. Never. “I love ya too, Johnny.”
…
That was weeks ago. Ghost had been absent on a mission for weeks, and Soap was left alone at the base. They hadn’t been assigned the same job this time, which secretly broke Soap in a way unimaginable.
When he fell for someone, he fell hard. Not being around Ghost, now that they were official, hurt. Bad. Worst part, Ghost never told him any details, or how long he would be gone. It worried him.
He hadn’t been away from Ghost for more than a week in the past year or so, and now it sucked not even seeing him pass by occasionally. Even if they didn’t talk all the time, just knowing he was around was always a comfort to Soap.
“Fuck you, Ghost.” He whispered to himself at training. He felt drained and more tired than usual. He hated it. He hated Ghost for leaving without a word and more specifically, he hated himself for being like this. He was angry. Angry that he was now dependent on a man that had never even shown him his face.
He raised his gun up, aiming at one of the paper targets at the end of the room. He needed to get his mind off Ghost.
“British fuckin’ bastard.” He pulled the trigger, not steering too far off from the center of the target. He would ask where Ghost was and how long he was expected to be gone, but he wouldn’t let himself. No. He shouldn’t care. He wouldn’t allow himself to. “I need a drink…”
So that’s what he did. Went back to his room, getting himself a bottle of liquor to drink. Alone.
It helped only slightly and he hummed to himself. What if the fucker is dead? Then what? He could be somewhere, bleedin’ the fuck out and dead, and I’d never know. I’d never see him again.
It hurt him to think such things as he worried away in his bed, but he wouldn’t let himself cry over it.
At some point, he must’ve passed out, because before he knew it, it was morning once again.
He had a splitting headache, shooting up the back as he got up. He stretched, groaning and realizing he’d have to endure another day of mental torment. No. It didn’t matter. He would be fine eventually.
He got up, making his way to the dining hall to get breakfast and coffee, hoping that would help with the headache. Some of the other guys tried making small conversation, but he didn’t say all that much in response. When asked what was wrong he explained that he was hungover from the night before.
If only that was it.
The day was long, dragging on once again, before finally, something happened. He was called in for a mission. This was what he needed. Finally.
He wondered when and especially where it would be.
When he got outside, he felt his heart jump. It was Ghost. He was back.
“Ello, Sergeant.” He said. Voice deep. Nothing changed.
“Lieutenant.” Soap says in a short response. “I assume we’ll be on this one together, aye?”
“Right on.”
Soap’s heart was hammering in his ears. He was angry, he was glad, he was… probably visibly blushing. It felt like he was meeting the masked man for the first time again.
“So, when’s the mission?”
“Two days. We got some time to prepare.” The responses were short. He didn’t seem all that happy to see Soap. “Training?”
“Now?”
“Don’t see a problem.”
“‘S fine, I ‘spose.” In all honesty, Soap didn’t feel like giving him the time of day. He turned on his heels, heading to the shooting range with Ghost behind.
“Well then.” Soap started as they got to the range, picking up a pistol. “How’d it go?”
“Fine.”
“Run inna any problems?”
“Negative.”
Ghost’s response made Soap roll his eyes. Dickhead. He shoots, hearing both the sounds of his and Ghost’s gun go off. Bullet after bullet.
“You’ve gotten better, Johnny.” Ghost compliments. “Betta than the last time I seen ya shoot anyway.”
“Course I have.” Soap snaps. He could’ve sworn Ghost had made his voice a little lower, more flirtatious almost as he said ‘Johnny,’ but it also could have been his imagination. “Seems your shot is ‘bout the same, L.T.”
Ghost doesn’t respond, only looks at his target and the holes punched into it from shooting. He was a very accurate shot, most of them landing right on the center. Soap had some room for improvement.
“How ‘bout we move onto a more hands-on training then, Soap?” Ghost says.
“Scuse me?” Soap crosses his arms, trying not to seem flustered with what Ghost just said.
“C’mon.” Ghost leads them out of the room and into a more open area. A room commonly used for hand to hand combat training.
“Oh. Right.” He turns, seeing how Ghost was taking off his black coat he had on prior, now in a black tee-shirt. Christ’s sake.. he has no right bein’ that fuckin’ hot…
“Soap?” Ghost’s voice snapped him back. “You good to go?”
“Yeah.” He suddenly felt very shy. They had trained and done hand to hand practice training before like this, but now it felt completely different since the last month that unfolded.
“Ready then?”
“Ready.”
Soap felt naked under Ghost’s intense stare. He couldn’t help but laugh nervously, trying to break the tension.
“Christ, L.T. I getcha missed me, but you don’t need to stare me down so hard.” A shift, but no response. “Aw, c’mon Simon. I-” He was rudely cut off by Ghost rushing forward, easily taking him to the ground and pinning him.
“You’re all chatter, aren’t ya?” Ghost says. A smirk was obvious in his tone.
“Piss off.” Soap spat. With that, Ghost got up.
“Wanna try that again, handsome?”
“So we’re bringin’ the banter back, aye? While you left without tellin’ me anything as well.” This time, when Ghost moved, Soap grabbed at him, fueled by a determination to get Ghost under.
It was practically an unfair fight. Ghost was much taller and heavier at that, but Soap was skilled, and knew to at least defend for a while, before being brought harshly to the ground once more.
“I’m not required to tell you where I go. Sergeant.” Ghost says from above. The way he said it sounded annoyed, like Soap was butting into his personal business. Which he was.
“You’re a fuckin’ wanker, Simon.” Soap gasps, squirming under him.
“Code name, Ghost.” Ghost says, then leans in, close to the shorter man’s ear. “Use it when we’re on duty.” He stands. “Get up.”
Soap obeys, standing up and cracking his knuckles. He was getting more pissed off. Not only that, Ghost wasn’t seeming so pleased anymore either.
“I don’t think you’d last out there, Johnny.” Ghost says, tone calm but firm. “That’s why I didn’t want you comin’ along for this one.” That hurt. Ghost knew it. He was trying to get Soap fired up.
“Twat.” This time, he engages, hurrying forward and when Ghost puts his arms up, thinking he was going for an upper body take down, he swipes his foot behind the Lieutenant’s legs, making him trip and fall backwards.
“Ah, fuck..”
“Weren't expectin’ that, eh?” Soap asks, crouching down beside him.
“Maybe I wasn’t.” Ghost admits. “But we’re currently two for one.” He pushes himself up. “So you’re really mad then, aye?”
“Tryna get a reaction outta me again?”
“Maybe slightly.” Ghost steps forward. “I do wanna know.”
“Of course I’m mad. Leavin’ me, not tellin’ me. What if you were dead, huh?”
“Then I’d be dead.”
“And what about me? I’d have to live with that.”
“And you’d move on.”
“Selfish prick. We’re supposed ta be partners.” Again, he engages, his time Ghost doesn’t fall for it. He grabs Soap’s wrists and pulls him forward. Soap bumps into Ghost’s chest and is surprised when two arms wrap around him. They were hugging.
“I missed you, ya idiot.” Ghost whispers it. “That what you wanted to hear?” Soap’s heart was fluttering. He hugs back, holding around Ghost’s waist.
“Yeah…” He admits. “Missed seein’ you around. Even just walking about. Missed your voice.”
“Thought about me quite a bit, aye?”
“Every fuckin’ day of every hour.”
“Sorry I put ya through so much sorrow.” Ghost said it sarcastically.
“Feels worth it now.” His eyebrows furrow. “But seriously. I’d be devastated if something happened to you.”
“That’s a weakness, Johnny.” Ghost says, pulling away. “You can’t let emotions, ’specially fear get the best of you.”
“Then how do you do it? Do you not fear losing me?”
Ghost doesn’t answer, moving on from the question. “Let’s finish what we started, yeah?” His eyes shift in a way that makes it obvious that he’s smiling under the mask. “Though, I think we know who’s won already.”
“I ain’t backin’ down from this.”
“I know.”
The last fight they had lasted the longest, and Soap started suspecting maybe Ghost was going easy on him. Regardless, it ended up with Soap laying face down on his stomach, both arms held behind his back.
“Fuck.. fuck-” He gasps, out of breath. “Fine, Fine! I tap out!” Ghost lets go and Soap gets up, brushing himself up. When he looks back up to the taller man, he notices he looks happy with himself. “Proud or something, eh?”
“Obviously. Glad I gave you a workout.”
“I still got ya down once.”
“Once.”
Soap shakes his head, tired as hell. “I’m gonna change. Too fuckin’ sweaty in this shirt.”
“I’ll come with.” They head to the locker room.
Soap unlocks his locker, getting an extra shirt to change into. He was just about to take off his current one, until he notices Ghost staring.
“Dammit. Can you not stare?”
“Sorry.” He turns away, letting Soap change quickly. When Soap comes back up to him he starts talking again. “Hey, uhm. I don’t know if this is rude to ask, but is it wrong for me to see you shirtless?” Soap was surprised.
“Oh. No, not at all! ‘S just…” He didn’t really have an answer. “Awkward staring a guy down when they change, aye?”
“Mm.”
“Come back to my room?”
“‘Spose so.” They start walking back to Soap’s.
“I wanna say thanks.”
“For what?” Ghost asks.
“Not treatin’ me different. Not goin’ easy on me during that.” He says, referencing their practice.
“Course.” Ghost answers simply.
Soap opens the door to his room as they approach, and the two enter, door being shut behind.
“What’s this about, Johnny?”
“I wanted to show you something.”
“Show me what?” With that, Soap lifts his shirt up over his head. Ghost looks somewhat confused, but eyes widen at the sight.
“These.” Ghost’s eyes drop to the point of interest; Two scars on his chest, under the nipples. Soap is nervous, awaiting for what Ghost would say.
Ghost on the other hand didn’t know what to say. He moved forward, taking a closer look.
“May I touch?”
“Yeah.” Soap says silently.
Ghost’s hand moves up gently, finger tips running along the tissue that had been scarred. Words couldn’t describe it. He hadn’t seen something like this before.
“They’re lovely, Johnny.” He says finally. Soap shudders at his gentle touch, calloused fingers moving along, exploring and feeling up the skin. “You’re a brave man.”
“Ah… Si-Ghost.. You’re gonna make me tear up, man.” It was true. He felt emotional at that moment. Glad that his partner accepted him and who he was. Not only that. Found his scars beautiful. Beautiful.
“Mm.” Ghost gives a pleasant sigh. “You asked before, how I do it. If I worry ‘bout losin’ ya. I do.” His eyes shift, looking almost embarrassed with what he admitted. “Well.” He moves his hand off. “You showed me yours, so I’ll show you mine.”
Soap laughs, thinking Ghost was joking around and talking about taking his shirt off next. “Can’t wait ta see how built ya a-” He cuts himself off as Ghost pulls his mask up and over his head.
…
Soap’s mouth drops open as right stood before him, Ghost, unmasked and everything. He couldn’t believe it.
“Y-you..” He couldn’t even form words.
“I not to your likin?’”
“No, you absolutely are!” If Soap had known that simply revealing his surgery scars would get him a Ghost ‘face reveal’ he would have done it months ago. And boy, was Ghost as handsome as the hype.
He had short cut brown hair, a light scruff, and of course.. those intense eyes. Soap was staring shamelessly.
It was obvious that Ghost was pretty bad with eye contact without his mask protecting him from any shame.
“Jus’ gonna stare?”
“Yeah probably.”
“Why not just kiss me instead, aye?”
“I’m allowed?”
“Course you are.” Without more hesitation, Soap leans in, closing all space between them and connecting their lips. Ghost’s lips were chapped, but still felt wonderful against his.
If a year ago you had told John “Soap” MacTavish that he would be kissing his higher up Simon Riley, he wouldn’t have believed it. It was practically unbelievable and seemed like an impossible thing, yet here he was. It was really happening.
They part after moments, breathing heavily.
“I live up to the expectations?”
“Yeah..” Soap answers, pushing the Lieutenant onto the bed. “You do.”
~~~~~~~~
“Oi, MacTavish.” Ghost’s voice came from the other side of the radio.
“Yeah?” Soap answers quickly, but hears Ghost sigh disappointedly on the other side.
“They’re gonna seriously have ta find you a new partner if you can’t focus with me around..” He says, sounding almost sad in a way.
“I’m focused, L.T.” Soap rolls his eyes. “Y’know I liked you for a while and did fine.” He whispers this part.
“Then what’s happenin’? You seem off today.”
“I’m just thinkin’ of other things.”
“You sound depressed. We gonna have to schedule you a therapist or somethin?”
“Nahh. I’m just wonderin’ how many missions you’ve done without me there.”
“There’s been many.” Ghost answers honestly. “We can’t be assigned all the same things, Johnny. ‘S not how it works.”
“I know.” He sighs. “We jus’ make a good team I think.”
“Yes.” Ghost says. “Just be happy we got this one togetha then, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Soap shakes his head, but can’t help a smile. “Yeah. I’m glad.”
“Love ya, man.”
“Love ya too, Simon.”