Chapter Text
1.
He wasn’t sure if it was the dead ache in his right arm or the noisy crackle of a camera shutter, but Maverick groaned into consciousness. His eyes were sticky, taking a few tries to open. Once they were open it took him a few tries to work out where he was.
Beige-brown tiles pressed into his cheek and brow-bone. He could see two bare feet standing in a doorway. Mav lifted his eyes to find Goose grinning at a fresh Polaroid in his hand.
“Hey, Goose,” Maverick croaked.
“Yes?” Goose sounded exceptionally pleased with himself as he looked down at his pilot.
“Watch the birdie,” Mav said, bending his half-dead right arm and giving Goose the finger.
Nick laughed, the noise bouncing around the bathroom and Mav’s skull. He simply snapped a second photo, the flash stinging Maverick’s eyes.
“This one’s a keeper, Mav,” Goose said with mirth, “I can feel it.”
Maverick grinned back and rolled to settle more comfortably on the bathroom floor. As he stared at the slightly mouldy ceiling, he took stock of himself.
The right arm was buzzing from being trapped beneath him as he slept. He was only wearing his underwear and dogtags. His stomach was beginning to bubble and the heaviness of his head felt as though he was being dragged into the floor.
“I see you still had a good time without me,” Goose said, leaning on the doorframe.
Pete grinned. “I went dancing.”
A shrewd look came over Goose and he waved a hand in a “come on” motion.
Mav tried. He focused back on the night, dredging through fuzzy blackness for a memory.
There was dancing; club lights and loud music. There was laughter, so much laughter he wasn’t convinced it wasn’t a fake memory because only Goose and Carole made him laugh like that. And lastly, there was a rather explicit memory of Mav kneeling on a bathroom floor in front of someone, their hands gripping his hair.
“The mission was a success,” Mav smirked.
He couldn’t seem to find the face of his bathroom encounter in the memory but it didn’t particularly concern him. This wasn’t the first time and if there was anywhere you could get away with a one-time thing it was Las Vegas.
“I’m happy for you.” Goose rolled his eyes.
Pete laughed. The motion set the bubbling in his stomach to a boil and he scrabbled up and to the toilet to heave.
When he was finished he climbed to his feet, already feeling better for it.
“Don’t be jealous, honey,” Pete teased Goose, “I always come home to you.”
Goose snorted and walked away.
“Did you and Carole have a good call?” Mav called before jamming his toothbrush in his mouth and scrubbing furiously.
Goose appeared in the mirror, leaning back through the doorway and flashing an OK handsign with a wink. Mav grinned, fondness filling him at the satisfied look in his brother’s eyes.
He had let Nick bail early and head back to the room alone because it was the first time he and Carole had gotten privacy since they deployed. Pete had assured Nick that he was a big boy and could find enough trouble to get into on his own.
“Are you just about done in there?” Goose said from the other room. “We need to get on the road if you want to make it to Miramar before dark.”
“Let me vomit one more time and I’ll be good to go,” Mav joked.
As they packed, Pete dragged on the jeans he had been wearing the night before and a fresh shirt. He was searching for a missing sock when Goose clapped his hands and ordered him to get moving.
The sock was beneath the bathroom counter and with it and his boots on, Pete did a last sweep of the room. As he tucked his wallet into his back pocket he found a folded piece of paper there.
“Mav! C’mon! Let’s go!” Goose shouted, already outside at the truck waiting.
With a shrug, Mav shoved the paper deep into his bag.
The heaviness in his head redoubled as he stepped into the sunny parking-lot. Mav hissed and pushed his aviators higher on his nose in a vain attempt to black out the sun completely.
“I’ll drive the first half,” Goose said, voice touched with affectionate exasperation.
“You’re the best man I have ever met, you know that?” Mav replied, only half joking.
“Get in the truck.”
It took approximately three blocks before Maverick shouted for Goose to pull over. With the contents of his stomach well and truly gone, he climbed back into the vehicle and promptly fell asleep once more.
===
He woke to the sun beaming into his face. He felt like a dried husk. His mouth tasted horrendous.
“It lives!” Goose said, teasing.
“I feel like death,” Mav rasped back.
“We’ll stop at the next gas station and get you something to drink that isn’t beer or tequila,” Goose said, leaving no room for argument.
“Thanks, dear,” Pete mumbled.
===
With two bottles of water in him, and a biscuit with gravy that Goose had thrust upon him with a mothering look, Maverick felt human again. His head still twanged uncomfortably but his stomach had finally settled.
“It’s my turn to drive,” he announced and held his hand out for Goose’s keys.
“Now that your blood alcohol level is back in single digits, yes, you may drive.” Goose tossed the keys, smirking at him.
Mav rolled his eyes and climbed into the truck.
It took him a second to get his bearings; adjusting the seat and mirrors. It felt a little odd to be in the drivers seat. He flew a fighter jet way more often than he drove a car.
“Please treat my Jimmy with more respect than an F14, Mav,” Goose said, voice plaintive.
“I’m excellent at driving,” Mav replied blithely, “it’s just been a minute.”
As he reached down to shift into first gear, he stilled, blinked, and then frowned at his hand.
“Push the stick left and up, that’s first,” Goose said, voice slow as though Mav was stupid.
“How long have I been wearing a ring?” Maverick replied, unable to say anything else.
“What? Oh my God!” Goose gave a snorting honk of a laugh. “Mav, you didn’t!”
Pete’s brow scrunched as he fought to remember the night again. Nothing new came to him.
“I don’t remember,” he said, voice mild.
Their eyes met and they collapsed into laughter.
“You got Vegas married,” Goose said between laughs and gasps. “Oh, I cannot wait to tell Carole about this.”
“Oh, thank you, Goose, that’s very helpful,” Mav tried to sound annoyed but couldn’t stop laughing enough for it to stick.
“Our family is growing, Mav,” Goose said, tone sugary sweet. “I can’t wait to meet your new… wife? Husband…?”
“Me too.”
They burst into raucous laughter once more, gripping the dash as they struggled to breathe.
Wiping the tears from his eyes and gasping for breath, Mav finally put the truck into gear and set off.
They drove in relative silence, the pair of them giving a quiet chuckle now and then.
“Husband, I think, by the way.” He paused. “It’s probably fine, right?” Mav asked after about five minutes.
“Waking up married in Vegas?” Goose said. “Sure, Mav.” His tone telegraphing that it was decidedly not fine.
“Well, what can I do about it now?” Mav scoffed to hide his growing uncertainty. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell didn’t do uncertainty.
Goose was silent, apparently stumped. After a long moment he sighed and shrugged.
“Well, nothing I guess,” Goose admitted. “You should have gotten a marriage certificate but I guess who ever you married has it. Then you’d know who you married, and how to ask them for a divorce.” He gave another amused snort before realising that Maverick was conspicuously silent. “You do want a divorce, right Mav?”
Maverick gave a toothy grin in response; partly because it was in his nature to be a provocative shit and partly because maybe he didn’t want to be divorced at twenty-five. Maybe it was destiny, or some crap. Maybe the idea of willfully losing a potential family member made him physically ill to think about.
“Jesus Christ,” Goose muttered and turned to stare out the window.
“Relax, Nick, I’ll get a divorce. Just, not when I’m this hungover,” Pete said, ignoring the feeling that he was lying. Whether it was to himself or Goose only time would tell.
“And when we know who you married,” Goose muttered, this time in a far more amiable tone.
They both chuckled.
===
Maverick collected his motorcycle from long-term parking and promised to meet Goose at the base. Before he stepped astride the bike, he paused to stare at the ring he hadn’t bothered to take off yet. Alone in the parking structure, he found he was reluctant to do so.
He sighed and pulled it off, slipping the wedding band deep into his jeans pocket. He couldn’t exactly wear it to the base, and Goose would ream him out for real if he saw it still on.
As he rode, the whole thing turned slow circles in his mind. He was well aware he didn’t have exactly normal or regular responses to relationships. Losing both parents and being passed around like a potted plant by the State tended to leave a mark.
He loved Goose, Carole and Bradley fiercely. Loved that they never made him feel like an object or a temporary annoyance, but like a real part of their little family. They were where he spent his holidays and shore-leave. He had watched Bradley grow from a bump in Carole’s belly to a walking, talking, singing kid.
But Maverick would be lying if he said he didn’t envy them as well. He craved someone to look at him the way Carole looked at Nick, the way she cried and threw her arms around him with abandon. He wanted to know a love so deep it caused him physical pain to leave the other person, the same way he saw Goose pine their first days back on a carrier as though he was going through withdrawals.
The idea of a divorce was repulsive to him. He mentally shied away from the idea. If he married someone he wanted it to be forever. He needed it to be. He had been holding out hope that at least one tie in his life would be permanent.
The tie to his parents had frayed and broken the moment his father was KIA. The foster system treated him as though any lifeline he laid down was a target to be cut. Goose was the first semi-permanent thing he’d found.
Maybe it was childish but he wanted to believe if he’d married someone they’d felt permanent too. He wanted to believe that maybe through the haze of tequila that person had really been the one that Pete had been searching for.
===
2.
His skin was still prickling, pulse spiking with every roll of the memory through his mind. Maverick was dressing to go to the O-Club with Goose but his brain was stuck in the briefing room. That blond guy, blue eyes like a glacier, staring at him. Brazenly staring too. It was so like something Maverick would do that it almost threw him for a loop. It had definitely stuck under his skin, as little as he wanted to admit it. He was still playing the memory back hours later.
What he couldn’t work out was why the guy made his skin prickle like this. Maverick knew he was a good pilot, a damn good one actually, so why did he feel nervous about the cocky look from that guy? Why did he tingle with something close to nerves?
He pulled his white shoes on and checked his hair in the mirror. This was going to be the best five weeks ever.
Sure, Goose had given him a meaningful look about the divorce thing this morning and Pete had nodded along about it. But now he was here, it didn’t feel like it mattered at all. There was something much more important than a silly little wedding ring in his desk drawer; being the best and wiping the cocky smile off that blond asshole’s face.
===
The O-Club was packed with bodies. It only served to gear Maverick’s excitement up. They made a quick sweep through the crowd before stopping at the bar.
He found the same blond from the briefing. He was dressed in his whites as well, and wearing his sunglasses inside like an asshole.
“You wanna know who the best is?” Goose said, obviously following Maverick’s gaze. “That’s him. Iceman.”
Whatever else he said Maverick wasn’t entirely listening, he was caught up in watching the way Iceman brushed off the woman trying to speak to him in favour of following his RIO. He was clearly rude to everyone, as if Maverick needed any more reasons to dislike him.
Maverick turned away, searching the room again. When he turned back, Goose had stopped the RIO, calling him Slider and poking fun at him. And then the blond asshole was right there.
Tom “Iceman” Kazansky. He was unreasonably gorgeous from close up. Maverick couldn’t stop staring into his eyes. The crunch of peanuts between the other man’s teeth was intensely off-putting as they traded barbs. By the time Iceman and Slider had walked away, Pete felt like he had just gone through another dogfight.
“They were abused children,” Goose said tactlessly but Maverick let it roll off his shoulders as he tried to settle himself back into excitement rather than pure aggressive adrenaline.
“We’re gonna have fun!” Mav smiled, waving away the look of terror in Goose’s eyes as he realised what he had said.
“OK, Mav, the bet is twenty dollars,” Goose began after a moment to let the awkwardness pass. “You must have carnal knowledge, of a lady this time, on the premises.”
Maverick rolled his eyes but began scanning the room anyway. He spotted a woman that looked like fun. Her hair a soft looking blond and the red lips promising at least a little adventurousness.
Marriage-schmarriage, a bet was a bet and Mav could always use an extra twenty.
===
3.
He might have been able to let the dent in his pride go if Charlie hadn’t ended up in their first briefing, all but laughing at him and Goose. To make it worse, her facts were wrong.
In hindsight, something Maverick rarely bothered to indulge in, he was probably a little bit more offensive than he needed to be. Both in his pursuit of her the night before, and in the briefing about MiGs.
He blamed Iceman.
The bastard had gotten him all riled up in the O-Club and Maverick had been looking for an outlet to do something stupid. And again in briefing, his unsubtle call of “bullshit” spurring Mav on until he found himself being more impertinent than charmingly cheeky.
As if that wasn’t enough, Iceman decided to corner him and question him in the most infuriating way on the MiG and Cougar. Standing over him and poking at Maverick’s choices in the encounter. He could feel his pulse jumping in his temple and knew in that moment that Tom Kazansky was as close to a nemesis as he was ever going to get.
Maverick wasn’t stupid enough to blame Iceman for his dumb choices while flying though. They were all his own. Not that he really saw them as bad choices. It probably hadn’t been strictly necessary to chase Jester below the hard deck for the shot. And Maverick realised, as he stood outside Jester’s office and listened to the shouts of the Air Boss through the wall, buzzing the tower on their first day was a joke apparently no one else found funny.
Including Goose.
===
Mav sat alone in a lounge, working his way though his daily tactic tasks and reflecting on the day. The last straw had been Iceman’s assertion that Maverick was unsafe in the air. In front of the entire class in the locker room, Kazansky had announced that he was everyone’s problem.
Pete hadn’t wanted to punch someone that bad since he was a teenager. It had taken actual physical work for him to step back and walk away. Only having Goose with him had kept his head on his shoulders, and Iceman’s teeth in his stupid, big mouth.
He couldn’t stop hearing it. The words rattling and echoing around and around. It was why he knew he wouldn’t sleep.
“God! Why do you always have to be such a problem, Peter?” The harsh tone of his third foster mother cut through him.
“There’s something wrong with that boy, he has problems.” This one a teacher at the middle school he attended.
“You’re everyone’s problem.” Iceman again.
The door opened and Mav started slightly, finally drawn out of the cyclic memories. He looked up to find Goose watching him.
“Still up?” Goose said, tone gentle.
They had known one another long enough that Goose knew something Iceman said had crossed a line that day. He knew that Maverick had come very close to risking his career by punching a fellow officer.
“Yeah,” Mav said.
They looked at each other across the room. Goose eventually sighing and coming to sit by Mav.
“I don’t care about wining the trophy anymore, Mav,” Goose said, voice almost apologetic. “I just want to graduate. I have a family to think about.”
The words needled his already tender heart but Maverick nodded in agreement. He owed it to Goose to shut up and listen despite feeling so close to losing it.
“You’re all the family I got,” Mav said. “I won’t let you down, Goose.”
Nick’s smile was morose but he nodded back. After a beat, his face brightened a little.
“Well,” he said, tone wheedling, “that’s not technically true anymore.”
Maverick frowned before the realisation hit him and he snorted. “I don’t think a missing husband counts as family.” He shook his head with a breath of laughter.
“It might,” Goose shrugged. His face changed once more, eyes turning serious. “Ice was out of line today.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Maverick said, jaw clenching as the memories rattled through once more.
“You’re not a problem, Mav,” Goose said, voice soft. “You’re a damn good pilot and we’re here to learn. Learning comes with fuck ups.”
Mav stayed silent. He didn’t have an answer but the battered feeling of his heart seemed less already.
“Let’s go to bed. We’ll get ‘em tomorrow.” Goose stood and stretched. Without waiting for an answer he scooped the paperwork out of Mav’s hands and made for the door.
With no choice but to follow, Mav stood, flicked the lamp off, and headed for his own quarters.
===
4.
The breath punched out of his chest as he dove to get underneath the volleyball. Maverick grunted as they lost the point anyway. He swiftly jumped back his feet, his jeans scratching and full of sand. Perhaps trying to fit a volleyball game in before going to see Charlie wasn’t his greatest thought, but he couldn’t back down from a chance to beat Iceman at anything.
Despite the far-too-competitive feeling and the constant sledging about his height from the other aviators on the sidelines, Mav found himself having fun. He couldn’t remember the last time he just fucked around and played a game like this. Sure he had stress-relief on shore-leave but it was mostly drinking, visiting Carole and Bradley or touring on his bike. As much as he had always tried to be a loner as a kid, he loved being around people. He had a flair for being the centre of attention and soaked it up.
It was why he had a date that evening. He couldn’t resist making another pass at Charlie just to bask in the attention she would give him. That, and his pride was still a little wounded. He hadn’t expected her to actually agree. It had been the cheesiest line he could think of too, and it had actually worked?
He couldn’t exactly explain that to her, especially with Slider watching like a hawk from the next desk over. So now he had a date when all he really felt like doing was playing volleyball and watching Kazansky get all hot and bothered over a game.
They were all getting hot and bothered really. The California heat was brutal, the humidity suffocating. Maverick could feel his dogtags sticking to his back, he would have the gnarliest tan spot there later.
He clapped, fixing his glasses as he watched Iceman prepare his serve. It was a little wide, easier to pick up this time. Goose, having captained his Varsity team in high school, gave Maverick a perfect set. Mav smashed it down into the sand, the sting in his hand was deliciously satisfying, as was seeing Slider covered hip to chin in sand and glaring up at him from the deck. Mav laughed at him before turning to give Goose a high five.
The sledging against his height slowed to a stop as they carried on. Mav might be shorter than the rest of them but he could fucking jump. Plus, he liked to think he wanted it more. He would do anything that made Tom Kazansky shut the fuck up for thirty seconds and admit other people could be good at things too.
“That’s game!” Mav shouted as they took the last point. He checked the time and winced. He was cutting it close to late.
“Mav, where are you going?” Goose was following him, pouting like a puppy.
Mav groaned internally, now he really didn’t want to go. He couldn’t blow Charlie off though, not after all the ridiculous singing, bathroom propositions and the world’s cheesiest line. He glanced back to find Iceman watching him, eyes tracing Maverick’s every move. It made his pulse spike again.
“Mav, please, for me?” Goose said, resembling Bradley when he tried to wheedle out of a bedtime.
“I gotta go,” Mav said, his insides crunching uncomfortably. “I’m sorry. I have a thing to go do.”
Without waiting to see the dejection on his brother’s face any longer, Mav turned and jogged off to his bike. Sand trickled out his pant legs as he went, still falling even as he climbed onto his bike and peeled out of the parking lot.
===
Even though he was covered in dried sweat and sand, arrived late and internally saw Goose’s pleading face every thirty seconds, Maverick found himself having an OK time with Charlie. She really did want to talk to him about the MiG sighting which was easy enough for him.
She peppered him with questions throughout dinner, barely stopping to eat unless waiting on him to answer between his own mouthfuls. He found it was comfortable. He could talk aeronautics and aviation all day and Charlie seemed to be enraptured in what he had to say. He found himself soaking up her attention like a sponge.
Perhaps that was why when they sat after dinner, Charlie laying on a daybed and occasionally firing another question at him as she thought of it, he spoke about his mother. The Otis Redding song and a few glasses of wine tripped him straight into a memory. Before he could really stop himself he had told her about his dad, Duke Mitchell, and the albatross that had hung about his neck from that day.
She listened, prompting him that someone must know what happened that day, as though he hadn’t ever heard that before. He merely nodded, sipping the wine and sighing internally.
The conversation had shifted, Charlie smiling up at him in a nice way that made her eyes a clear blue. Maverick smiled back before standing and excusing himself to go home and shower.
As he rode back to base something rattled in his chest. It wasn’t until he was parking and turning the engine off that he realised that it was loneliness. He had thought it was such an old friend he would know it anywhere, yet sitting there in Charlie’s house, telling her about his mum and dad and looking into her blue eyes, a fresh loneliness yawned open inside him. It had been a mistake to go but he couldn’t quite place why.
===
Goose found him alone in the lounge once more. This time Mav was leafing through a motorcycle magazine and considering the benefits of getting a cruiser for touring. He looked up as Goose collapsed into a chair beside him. Nick’s cheeks and nose were pinked with too much sun and his moustache was freshly trimmed. He was looking at Mav with a hint of expectation in his eyes.
“Hi honey, how was your day?” Goose said when Mav didn’t speak.
“I’m sorry,” Pete gave a huff of exasperated laughter. “I really had something to go and do.”
“Unless it was file for divorce, I’m not accepting your apology.” Goose tilted his chin up and set his face with cheerful determination.
Mav sighed and rolled his eyes. He set the magazine down on a table to stall for time.
“I can’t file for divorce until I know who to serve papers to,” Maverick said, trying to keep his tone mild.
“So you were out figuring that out, right Mav?” Goose’s eyes were boring into the side of his head.
“Uh…” He could feel the embarrassed grin on his own face but was powerless to stop it.
Goose closed his eyes, clearly begging for patience internally.
“Please, please tell me you weren’t on a date,” Goose said with forced calm.
“OK, I will not tell you that.” Maverick clicked his teeth shut.
Goose gave a pained groan that turned into a mirthless laugh. He covered his eyes with one hand and leaned back into the lounge. After a beat he lowered the hand and turned his head to pin Mav with his eyes.
“What?” Maverick laughed, raising his hands helplessly. “You’re the one that made the bet.”
Nick’s mouth opened, no sound came out and he promptly closed it again. Maverick laughed a little harder and shook his head.
“You tell her you’re married?” Goose said.
“No,” Mav rolled his eyes. “We spent the whole time talking about the MiG. And even if we hadn’t I wouldn’t have told her. It’s not like its a real marriage.” He shrugged.
“I’m pretty sure it’s real, Pete,” Nick’s tone was weary. “I’m pretty sure you need to either get a divorce or tell Charlie you’re married.”
They sat in silence, Pete turning over those two options in his head. He didn’t particularly want to do either of them and Maverick Mitchell didn’t really ever do things he didn’t want to do.
“Eh, it’ll be fine,” Mav said. “I don’t think I’m going to see her again anyway.”
That got Goose’s attention. His head coming up from the back of the lounge and eyebrows rising.
“Why not? You went after her like a madman.” Goose frowned. “We even did That Lovin’ Feelin’. Are you telling me I fronted up for you for no reason?”
That sent a small sting of guilt through Mav’s stomach. He grimaced.
“I dunno,” Maverick sighed. “We talked about my dad and all she really said was that ‘somebody has to know’—”
Goose made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat.
“—which is fine. She’s a civilian, she doesn’t get it. But… I dunno. There wasn’t any…” Pete faded off, the yawning loneliness he had been ignoring opening once more in his chest.
“Spark?” Goose supplied when it became clear Mav wasn’t going to finish his sentence.
“Yeah. No spark. It was just plain. A little boring.” Mav grinned wide. “I actually wish I had stayed to play another game.”
“There it is!” Goose began clapping, his whole demeanour turning playful. “Thank you! I’m glad you finally admitted it, now you don’t have to look for a new RIO!”
Mav swung a loose punch at him, connecting with Goose’s ribs and making him huff. Goose laughed, punching Mav back in the shoulder lightly. Before he knew it, that loneliness had faded away once more.
===
5.
The moment Pete “Maverick” Mitchell actually began to regret his Las Vegas marriage was sitting in the back of Goose’s Jimmy on the way to dinner with Carole and Bradley. Carole was revelling in the opportunity to laugh at him.
“Pete, honey, if you have tracked them down by Thanksgiving you make sure to bring them along, OK?” She cackled from the front seat, her hand on Goose’s thigh as he drove.
“Thanks, Carole, I’ll do that,” he said, fondness warring with exasperation. “Do you need to tell her absolutely everything that goes on in our lives, Goose?”
“Well, honey, when you’re married—“ Carole started.
“Forget it!” He overrode her.
They all laughed, Carole turning to flash Maverick an affectionate smile in apology. He rolled his eyes at her, smiling in reply.
Their truce lasted all of five minutes before Carole started once more.
“But, Pete, Nick tells me you’re also dating your teacher?” She said, eyes wicked as she glanced back at him again.
“Did he?” Pete stared between the two of them. “Why am I part of this family again? You’re bad people.”
Goose and Carole cackled in the front.
“Don’t be like that,” Goose said, voice a little breathless from laughing.
“You know I tease you because I love ya so darn much, Mav,” Carole added, voice earnest now.
“Yeah, yeah.” Mav shook his head and turned to Bradley. “You’ll take my side, wont ya bud?”
“Yes!” Bradley shouted. “I’m on Uncle Mav’s side!”
“At least I have someone on my side,” Pete griped.
He regretted the words immediately as Carole began her teasing once more.
===
For all his blustering, Maverick was glad to have Carole and Bradley closer again. For one thing, it made Goose happy; his RIO was always chipper and upbeat but until he was around Carole again, Mav never noticed how much more brightness Goose could bring. He practically shone every time they were around him.
For another, Carole and Bradley were his family too. It was almost like a holiday to fly everyday for fun, talk all day about strategy and technique and then have dinner and hang out with his family.
The four of them being together made him happier than ever. And yet there was a dark edge to the happiness in him. Maverick couldn’t help but long for his own Carole and he couldn’t help but picture the silver wedding band on his ring finger once more.
Late one evening, after babysitting Bradley so Goose and Carole could have a decent date, Pete shut himself in his room and fished the ring out of his desk drawer. He sat in the glow of the lamp and turned it over and over in his fingers. Slowly, knowing he was being stupid but unable to stop himself, he slid the ring onto his wedding finger.
It just felt right.
He strained to remember the night. Laughter, raucous and breathtaking, was all he could really remember with any clarity.
He was hanging on tight to someone with broad shoulders and laughing so hard he feared he would fall in the gutter.
“Woh, fuck,” a voice, definitely male, said through a laugh and strong hands pulled him away from the edge of the footpath.
Maverick blinked in the present. That was all he could remember. The voice was pleasantly baritone and the laughter intoxicating even now he was sober. Yes, there was definitely a reason he and his mystery man had decided a wedding had to happen that night.
If only he could find them again.
With a sigh he pulled the ring off his finger and tossed it back in the desk drawer. Who was he kidding, there was no Carole out there for him.
With short movements, he stripped off and climbed into the bed. He knew, in the darkness of his heart, there wasn’t anyone out there for him. He wasn’t looking for his husband because when he found him, there was bound to be nothing but disappointment. Better to be ignorant than broken-hearted.
===
Maverick stared at the ceiling of Charlie’s apartment. The soft rush of the tide outside and of Charlie’s breath against his shoulder should have been peaceful, but Maverick found he simply couldn’t relax. A gnawing doubt was eating at his stomach.
He knew he shouldn’t be there. She was an instructor and this was definitely against the rules. He almost scoffed, catching himself before the noise slipped out. As if he cared about the rules. No, the real reason he shouldn’t be here was because this clearly meant more to Charlie than him.
Mav had asked her if she always got what she wanted and she had rather easily admitted she did. So here he was, right where she wanted him apparently. He replayed the afternoon slowly, wondering where the moment to say “Stop” was.
The ruthless assessment of his manoeuvre was irritating as best. This civilian who had no idea of what his job was actually like, decided that her numbers and facts were always the way to go. She had never flown, never had to make a decision on a hair-trigger, never had real lives resting on her shoulders and every choice. It pissed him off. Even with a voice mumbling in his ear from behind that it was a gutsy move, Maverick still found a burning resentment embering in his chest.
So he had left, hadn’t let her say more of that bullshit facts and logic crap to him. And she had chased him like a maniac through traffic. He pulled over before she killed herself or someone else and endured whatever further bullshit she needed to get out.
“The truth is I’ve fallen for you.”
He had been shocked. Then incredulous. Then the burning anger hadn’t felt so much like anger.
Mav knew that was probably the Stop moment. But at the time he just wanted someone to want him. He was standing there, looking at a beautiful woman tell him that she wanted him and he wanted to be wanted so bad.
Now, laying in the darkness, the shine of being wanted had waned. He felt hollowed out, the gnawing in his gut eating away his insides until he was yawning and empty inside.
With careful, quiet movements he slipped out of the bed. Maverick pulled his clothes back on, and sighed silently. Charlie hadn’t stirred at all. He quickly wrote a note, letting her know he had to get back to base before he was missed. He folded it into a plane and left it on her pillow.
There, he wasn’t the asshole that left in the middle of the night with no word. He wasn’t using her and he had no plan to be used. This feeling of emptiness would fade as it always did. In the light of the day he would forget this feeling even existed. At supersonic speed in an F14 he wouldn’t even remember he felt like this.
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