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Rain had known something was off. In fact, he had noticed it months ago. The way that his lover smiled less and less and then eventually altogether, the way that she slowly stopped trying to find him at various points during the day just to tell him about something interesting she saw, and how she stopped spending the night in his bed more than her own. Her scent was once seemingly permanent and weaved within the spaces between the thread of his sheets, but it's been days since the last time they even took a nap together and Rain is more than worried she is unhappy with him.
So now he finds himself in front of her chamber doors. The sun has already gone down and mostly everyone in the abbey has been sent to bed for the night. Well, as it seems, everyone but his lover. The remnants of candlelight tease the bottom edge of the door and Rain takes that as his invitation to knock. He shouldn't need an invitation but for some reason he feels out of place. He feels like a stranger. His knuckles shake. He doesn't know why.
When the heavy wooden door that guards her room finally opens up Rain is smacked in the face with a confusing array of scents and a dull pair of eyes. "Rain?"
He enters the threshold without another thought and pulls his favorite girl to his chest. Her warm and familiar scent is still there but it's overcome with the stench of sadness and something else much more complex. He holds her tight and supports her form as she falls limp against his thin frame, a wave of tears washing over her cheeks and into his shirt. She doesn't hold him back. Her hands stay glued to her chest and balled into fists. His heart ties itself into a knot.
When he looks past her he sees a collection of boxes and suitcases in a room that barely resembles the one that he's spent countless hours in. The walls and the floors are all the same, and the window pane still has the mark where they'd written their names together in the condensation, but the life has been completely stripped away. They stand, intertwined, within a void. Her comfort, her memories, her scent- all shoved away into boxes and bags.
"Are you moving rooms?" Rain finally asks, and it sounds absolutely ridiculous coming from his mouth, but he has to ask as he just stands there and prays to Lucifer that maybe this isn't as bad as it looks.
But it must be as bad as it looks, because his heart plummets and shatters into a million pieces when his favorite human cannot gather together enough space between her tears to answer his question. A second wave of nauseating emotions hits his nose and Rain digs his claws deep into the fabric of her night clothes. "What's wrong? Why're you hurting?"
"I'm leaving," she manages to choke out. Her face stays buried in the ghoul's chest, afraid of what he might say or do in response. She knows how ridiculous it sounds, she doesn't have anything else to say. It only worries her more when he takes a moment to respond.
"But why?"
To Rain the world has stopped turning. The moon falls from its place in the sky and plunges into the frigid water of the lake. It must be the end of the world, because it sure as hell feels like it. Rain struggles to communicate with his brain and his hands cannot do anything except clutch the girl to his chest. She's so warm and he's so cold. For the first time since he’s known her, the temperature difference feels wrong. He feels like the walls are beginning to collapse on him and he can do nothing but hold on as the world falls apart. His eyes sting as he stares at the initials drawn in the pane of the window; completely thrown off kilter.
"We aren't the same, Rain. One day I'll be gone and you'll still look the exact same. I don't want to hurt you that way. I don't want you to watch me deteriorate in front of your eyes."
"But I want to."
"I can't bear to let you."
For the first time since his summoning, Rain wants to be sent back to the pit. He hates his immortal shell and the life he was forced to live until the end of time. He silently curses the man who brought him here and his blood boils at the thought of the one who allowed him to be given away.
"So what?" His voice breaks and he swallows around the lump building in his throat. "You're just going to abandon everything that we have? You're going to leave me?"
"I can't stay here."
Their voices soften and come out as whispers meant only for the other to hear as they fall deep into the dark and agonizing depths of heartbreak. There are no more tears. Her eyes have long since run dry despite the choked sounds that tear through her chest. As Rain gathers the strength to pull back slightly and grasp her face in his much larger hands, he does so with the lightest of touch; as if she would dissolve into the air. He pulls back enough to look his mortal lover in the eyes and all he sees is pain. In that moment he understands that she is already gone- miles away from the abbey that she called home for so long- she made up her mind a long time ago. There was no convincing her otherwise, and that fact only causes his own tears to spill hot and heavy over his grey cheeks.
"Don't cry, Rain. Please, don't cry," she pleads, raising her hands to his own cheeks and swiping her thumb to wipe them away. He leans into her warmer touch and can't help that he only cries harder. Is there a hole in his chest? Something feels as if it’s missing. He's never felt quite like this before.
"How long have you planned this?" He asks.
She frowns and her eyes tell him all he needs to know. Rain huffs in blindsided disbelief. "A long while. I've talked myself out of leaving so many times. I just can't do it anymore."
"So when are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning."
Rain's long fingers caress gently over swollen cheeks and swollen eyes, soothing the puffy redness that pools underneath. His thumb finds the plumpness of her bitten lips and he pulls gently at her bottom lip, watching and remembering all of the love that has poured out from them. The skin they've kissed. The body they've worshipped. He loves her so much and the time they have together is so cruel. It's too short. He hates this curse that he calls life. "Will you stay with me till then? Spend the night with me once more before you go?"
His lover nods and places her forehead on the ghoul's sternum. Rain's heart might've well not been there at all, but he surprises himself when he hears it beating through his ribs. He was sure it was sitting in his chest in a pile of jagged pieces.
Nevertheless, she looks back up into deep brown eyes and breathes out a simple yes.
They two walk hand in hand back to the ghoul's den where a bedroom waits for them that still feels familiar and safe. They walk unhurriedly and trace the patterns in the hallways with their steps as if they have all the time in the world, and Rain hums a slowed and gutted version of life eternal into the crisp abbey air. It makes his stomach churn, but it was always her favorite song. Now he understands why...
When they make it back to the den and Rain guides her through the dim tunnels that they've walked a thousand times before they make it to his room and the last dance begins. Clothes are shed in a ritualistic manner and the feeling of skin upon skin distracts two grieving lovers from the truth that they soon have to face.
They take hours to perform a dance they've done a thousand times before, but this time it's different. It's slow and it's languid and it's full of passion and pain all in one. Every inch of skin in both human and ghoulish forms is worshipped in a way so that the other won't forget how they felt under their tongue and fingertips. The noises that fill the room are heavenly and loud- lacking any ounce of shame for who could hear them- and meant only for each other. Rain takes his time, pressing in and pulling out at only the perfect places to hit that spot that sends his lover reeling and pleading for more. He can't help but beg silently that she would change her mind. She can't help but feel like he silently hates her. There's no room for thinking, so the two showcase their love in their own respects, pushing away their consciences and replacing it with overwhelming pleasure.
And even when they get tired and they take time to lie in silence and the coolness of the den, wandering hands ghost over bare skin just as a reminder that the other is still there. Still there for now. They don’t let the pain settle for long. Their dance continues through the night and paints the air with the sweetness of sex.
And when the sun begins to rise and the birds begin their morning songs the lovers begin a mourning of their own.
"Will you ever be back?" He whispers into her neck, avoiding her eyes as he is sure he won't forget the look on her face.
She breathes slowly in and out and cards a shaky hand through dark locks, holding him close to her naked chest. Her scent changes; she shatters. "I don't know."
And Rain feels every break and crack of that shatter as he experiences something similar of his own. It's times like these that he curses Lucifer for disallowing him a soul. Nonetheless, his chest tightens and his heart feels like it tries to escape through his throat. He wants to cry but no tears come; he's run dry and the only thing that he is able to offer is a simple okay.
So they lay together, entwined impossibly close as they engrain each other's bodies into their memories. Every bend and scar and curve. Every few minutes a chest rises and lungs are filled to the brim with their scent. They don't talk much after that, just silently waiting for the world to end when the last hour turns over it's hand. And when it finally comes it only takes seconds more for it to all be gone. The bed gets cold again. His lover departs.