Chapter Text
Something was wrong, something was off.
Helaena's usual view was blurred, as if in some sort of fog. She couldn't see, she couldn't know, and she didn't like that. Yes, her "gift" hadn't really brought her a lot of joy, and most people just dismissed it, but it had brought a sense of certainty she'd come to rely on. She'd grown used to knowing how some things would end up, and having that taken away...
Felt wrong.
Trying to distract herself and make the time until it passed (because surely it would pass) shorter, Helaena decided to walk through the palace, see who else was around, see what was going on.
Her mother, Aegon and some of the guards were gone in some diplomatic mission or other, and she'd been thankful for the relative peace that brought. That didn't mean the palace was deserted, though.
Soon enough, she found Aemond training with Ser Criston in one of the courtyard, and decided to stay a bit there to watch. It was always entertaining, like some sort of angry dance.
And for some time it had been just Ser Criston teaching, winning once and again. But now Aemond was more experienced, he was more educated in strategy and such things, and he was also much taller. So it was beginning to be a very equal match.
Still, as much as she tried to enjoy the spectacle, the notion that something was wrong only became stronger. It was almost too much.
And then... then Aemond stop for a moment, practically freezing in the spot, which was weird, because he was giving his opponent the advantage and he didn't like doing that.
And then, even strangely, he fell to his knees.
"Aemond?"
And he collapsed on the floor.
*
They were lying on the floor, although mother didn't like it, her and Aemond.
"Oh, I know the name of that spider!" he said and he got it right.
Helaena smiled.
Most people in his family didn't care much for her little collection or her fascination with those little animals. She knew that some of the guards and serving people thought she was close to mad for interest, but her brother actually had shown an interest and had listened to her.
Aemond may not share her fascination, but he liked learning things (knowing more always gives you an advantage with whoever you are, he said, all serious) and he often asked her about it, as if she was some teacher.
Helaena was not dumb. She knew that Aemond was growing up to be someone dangerous, and that he was probably thinking of ways in which her bugs could be used as weapons if need be. He liked knowing things because ge liked having the upper hand.
But still, no matter what... he was listening to her. Didn't laugh at her. He was probably dangerous, yes, but he also cared about his family much more than Aegon.
Care about her. And her spiders.
He was someone dear to her, despite everything.
Which was why seeing him injured or ill hurt her specially.
*
"Aemond!" she ran to him, as fast as she could.
Ser Criston was kneeling next to him, trying to get a reaction, but nothing seemed to be happening.
"Prince Aemond?" he shook his shoulder, and Aemond just moved limply, showing no signs of awakening.
"What is happening? He was fine this morning!" Helaena said, alarmed. He'd seemed fine mere moments ago. And now he was... unresponsive. Unconscious.
Ser Criston tried to wake him a couple more times and then tried to assess his state.
"He is breathing, but it's strangely slow. I'll take him inside." he said, and took the prince in his arms, bridal style. Aemond didn't react to the change of position, his head just lolling limply with the movement.
"Take him to his chambers, I'll call the maesters."
Was this why her vision had been blurred? Because her brother, in a very sudden way, had been stripped of a future?
*
She'd seen it, she'd known. Clear as day it had been, when her brother got a dragon, he would lose an eye.
But still, seeing him like this... it was odd. It looked... painful.
They were sitting on the floor of her room, while their parents were busy and Aegon was trying to escape training.
"Are you feeling better?"
For the first couple of years after he lost his eye, Aemond sometimes got fevers, mostly short but someimes longer bouts of illness, probably relating to still healing wound on his face.
Aemond didn't complain, because Aegon didn't get sick and he didn't want to be less, be weaker. But Helaena could see the pain in his remaining eye. The last few weeks he'd been quite poorly, hadly eating anything and sometimes unable to hold his sword up.
"Not really."
Sometimes, he was as cold and tough with her as he tried to be with so many others. Sometimes, the fact that anyone had asked just tore his defenses down, and he just spoke to her. She liked those times.
"Does it still hurt? Your face."
It wasn't just the lack of eye, no, there was a big scar that covered so much of his still youthful face.
"Some days is really bad, so bad I want to scream. Other times is fine, and I forget it's even there. I forget I used to have two eyes. You don't have to worry."
She carefully ouches the scar, and it is odd, but it still him. As if he'd never had two eyes indeed.
"Don't you miss it?"
"I don't earn anything by lamenting, do I? I knew that what I did would have consequences. You have to pay a price, sometimes."
He'd been much more innocent than this, Helaena remembered. A sensitive boy, kinder than Aegon had ever been. But losing the eye and getting the dragon... it was still him, and there was something there that was still caring and kind (to them) (the rest of the world could burn) but he'd become a bit more somber. A bit more angry.
She touched the scar again, slightly fascinated.
"I think it suits your face very well."
He smiled.
She really liked it when he smiled.
*
And she didn't like ti when there was no smile, or frown, or that odd intensity with which he sometimes looked at things or people. (some people, she knew, were afraid of Aemond. it was probably wise). Nothing. No expression.
It had been too long, and Aemond was yet to wake up.
The Maesters had no explanation for his sudden collapse. They could tell that something was wrong because he wasn't breathing right and his heart was also going too slow, but they didn't know of any illness or poisons that could cause this, specially without any rashes or redness.
It was a mystery.
Aemond's sudden collapse seemed to have no explanation, which meant that they didn't know if it had a cure.
Helaena longed for her usual certainty fiercely, now, but it eluded her.
And he looked... he looked seriously ill, unmoving under the bedsheets, stripped of his armour and his eye patch, laying there with only a thin black cotton shirt, silver hair falling on the pillow. Sometimes it looked like was already dead. Helaena was frightened.
She was running her thumb through his hand, hoping that some comfort would reach him.
"Surely you are rested enough now, Aemond. You have to stop this. Wake up."
*
"Wake up." Aemond was whispering. This was her name day morning, but it was still dark outside, too early.
But her brother had a special present for her, and one that he was afraid their parents would disapprove of, or not care for properly, so he'd snook into her bedroom with it before anything else, on a moment when there was no on else. No, this was too special. For their eyes only.
It was a couple of ladybugs, but instead of their usual red, they had some blue in their wings.
"They're so beautiful!" she exclaimed, forgetting that everyone else was still sleeping. No matter. The walls were thick enough for no one to notice.
"I thought you might like them." Aemond said, coolly.
She spent some time just happily looking at he gift and then gave her brother a big hug.
Sometimes she hated her family. Aegon could be violent and dismissive and her mother seemed to always be anxious but, some other times....
"Thank you, Aemond. I will not forget this."
*
And she never did.
She thought of that moment often, of how happy she'd been, of how Aemond lit up seeing her so happy.
As she sat by his bedside she thought of that day and wondered if she would ever see his beautiful eye open again, that weird lopsided smile he drew sometimes. He looked so much older than she felt he was, with that angular face and his long arms, the very long hair.
Before she was wed, she'd more than once fantasized (even if she knew it was never going to be true) that something happened to Aegon and she had to marry Aemond instead. And he was still very busy and very brutal... But he also like learning things. Listened. Cared about her."
"As I care about you too, Aemond. So so much."
They waited for three days and three nights and then Aemond stopped breathing.
Helaena's sight went from blurry to pitch black. It felt like she couldn't breathe either.
She cried, her tears falling on him...
And then he started breathing again.
"Aemond?"
The visions came back, clear as day.
"Aemond!"
There it was.
The one eye.
The weirdly shaped smile.
Him.
Two days later, he was as fine as he usually was and no one knew what exactly had happened to him. There was no trace of poison anywhere, though, so the brilliant conclusion reached was that he'd overworked himself.
Whateve it was, it had made Helaena remember some nearly fogrotten little moments and how much they (and him) meant to her.
So she decided that she would listen to philosophy quotes next time, too. Maybe even find him a gift, even if there didn't seem to be any reason.
Show that she cared, how much she cared.
Maybe let him know that without him, the entire world felt wrong.