Chapter Text
You walked in through the doors into the auditorium. It was the beginning of the sixth week of the Fall quarter for your university. And you had just your midterms the week before. You were already stressed and tired. And your core class professor just assigned two more projects due within the next week. You knew college was going to be challenging, but it was a complete shift from high school. You were still somehow 17, being born in December. And it was your first year. You choose to attend a university far from home. Your family in a way was just…. Too controlling. And you knew that if you chose a school close to home then, nothing would get better.
You weren’t that popular in high school. You knew everyone, but everyone didn’t know you. Nor did they ever seem to care. The only time they wanted you around was if they needed something. And you only ever really had a group of six friends you actually cared about and were decent to you. You thought by moving far away, you could start anew. No one would know who you were. But you ended up just reliving the same problem. No matter how nice or open you were to people. People just shunned you away without giving you the benefit of a doubt. And every time you added someone to your instagram, they would text you one day and just completely forget about you and just ignore you the next. To keep it short, life sucked for you.
The professor hadn’t arrived yet, so you decided to open your instagram and went straight to your DM’s. You opened the GC with your friends from high school and reread the messages from the night before. About opening a discord server to chat the next night. Which would be later in the evening for you. You smiled softly, at least you had that to look forward to in your day. You closed the gc and you scrolled through other messages. You did have one new one that came up in the morning. And it was from one Tanjiro Kamado. You opened it up with a hopeful smile, but it quickly faded away after reading the message.
“ Hey, Y/N. I’m really sorry to tell you this but…. I know you’re trying to be friends and everything. Role playing with you as Tanjiro is fun, and you seem like a really nice person but I just don’t feel comfortable being friends with someone online. I’m really sorry it has to be like this. Please don’t reply and I hope you have a good rest of your week. ”
That was the third person to tell you something like that in the last week. The other was an Inosuke account who ended up being three years younger than you. And the other was a Nezuko account who saw you as a possible catfish just trying to hook with young girls. There were other accounts you asked to role play with too. Like a Zenitsu account and a few other Tanjiro’s but… they all either never opened your message or just left you on “Seen”.
It really wasn’t your fault. You were a huge demon slayer fan. And it was one of the last few things you found comfort in to escape stress. So…. you thought by reaching out to others who shared the same passion as you, enough to create a whole account dedicated to an anime character. Then maybe that way you could make friends. But you couldn’t be more wrong. You closed instagram and just laid your head on your hand waiting for the professor to finally show up. You heard a group of kids laughing and turned to them. Your frown grew deeper. Just being reminded how lonely you were.
The day went by surprisingly quickly for you. You found out you failed only one out of three of your midterms. The bus was actually on time. And you decided to go downtown for a late night dinner where you would also be on a discord call with your friends. You already paid for your meal beforehand and you were just waiting for your food to arrive at your table. You turned on your phone and you got a message from one of your close friends. Her name was Kara.
“ Hey Y/N. Can you call me please? ”
You tilted your head in confusion. You placed your airpods in and called her. She immediately picked up.
“Hey, Kara! What’s up?” You asked.
“Hey Y/N. Can we talk for a second?” She said, She sounded off.
“Uh… sure. Everything alright? We’re about to discord with the rest of the group right now.” You replied.
“Yeah everything’s fine. It’s just…. The group has been talking… about you.”
“What about me?”
“We’ve noticed that you’ve been talking to a lot of random people. And I guess I just wanted to come forward and ask…. Are you alright?”
“I’m ok. I could be better of course but…. Wait… you guys went through my followers list?”
“Yeah…. Look, Y/N. There’s no easy way to tell you this but we want to be straight forward since we’ve been friends for a really long time. We… and i’m talking about the group and myself included, we think it’s time that you find a new friend group and branch out. We think that you would be a lot happier that way.” Kara explained. Your heart dropped. And your mouth fell agape. Shivers went down your whole body.
“Wait…. Wh- what??? You guys are kicking me out of the group? After everything we’ve been through in high school, Kara…. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me right??” You asked. Your voice became strained really quick.
“I’m really sorry Y/N…. You are a great person. And I know others will see that in you where you are now. It’s just….. Lately you haven’t been happy. And we all think you just need time to yourself to figure out what you want in life and who you are as a person. It’s not that we don’t care about you, it's more that… we’re pushing you out because we care about you.”
“I….. I can’t believe this. This isn’t care…. You’re pushing me away because of something that is completely out of your guys’ control…. Please…. You don’t understand how hard it’s been up here alone. You just don’t. I’m doing everything I can to make friends and talk to people. But no matter what I do people just…. They don’t…. Listen. They don’t care.”
“But you chose that life.”
“You know why I chose that life! You all know why I chose that life!” You exclaimed. This time the tears came strolling down your cheek. People in the restaurant looked around at you as if you were crazy.
“Sir, can you keep it down? Some people are trying to fucking eat.” One guy said at another table.
“Y/N… who was that?” You could hear Kara ask. Your heart rate picked up. You began to pant for breath because you felt like you couldn’t breathe.
“Y/N are you ok?” She asked.
“Sir… is everything alright?” A hostess came to ask you. She tried to place a hand on your shoulder but you swatted it away and ran out the door, leaving your phone behind on the table. You could hear Kara calling your name through the static on your airpods as you ran further away from the restaurant. And eventually you ripped them off your ear and threw them on the sidewalk floor. You just didn’t care anymore. You couldn’t understand why. Why was life treating you so harshly? For what reason? Were you cursed? Were you not meant for happiness? Were you meant to be alone? Was that ultimately your fate? To grow up and live life without anyone by your side. You were just so sick and tired of it all. You couldn’t handle it anymore. You didn’t even care where you were running at that point. You just wanted to run. And get away from it all. Without realizing… you ran onto a bike trail next to a water stream. And you stopped to catch your breath. You were panting as you felt the hot tears stream down your cheek. You were choking out sobs while trying to catch your breath at the same time.
“God damn it…. Damn it all to hell…..” You muttered. You wiped the tears still flooding your eyes. You shook your head and stood up fully. Until you felt something touch your back and a hand muffle your mouth.
“Give me your goddamn wallet!” a man yelled in your ear. You were scared for your life now. Your screams were muffled under the man’s hand. You stepped hard on the man’s foot and kicked him hard in the stomach. Once you did, you began to run as fast as you could. But before you could go back to the street you came from, a deafening bang was heard. You stopped as you felt a sharp pain in your back. Your vision began to blur and all that could be heard was ringing in your ears. You suddenly lost all feeling in your legs and fell face first to the floor. You felt the man go through your pants and found your wallet. Once he did, you heard his footsteps trail off in a different direction. You continued to cry softly as blood dripped from your mouth. You tried to call for someone. But your voice was too soft to be heard within a five foot distance.
“Wow….. this is it. This is how I go….I’m sorry god. I’m so sorry I couldn’t live up to what you had planned for me. I just ended up being a failure. I’m so sorry that you wasted your time. Just promise me…. That my friends and family will go on without me. That my death will have minimal impact on their lives. After all…. I’m just one person. Please…. Let them live their best lives in peace and happiness…..” You mumbled as you gave out your last prayer. The last thing you heard was the small stream of water next to the bike trail you ended up on. Everything began to fade to black. Your eyes turned to the sky to look at the moon one last time. But you noticed something flying in the air. Two things flying in the air. Were they crows?