Work Text:
Dear DoReMi,
I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous as this is my first time ever writing to a love column, and I'm not even sure this will even work, but I'm honestly desperate for any advice I can get. You see, there's this boy. The Boy, if you will. The first time I ever saw him was my freshman year of college, and I swear I'm not being dramatic when I say it felt like everything led right up to the moment of me meeting him. We became fast friends and the more I got to know him and to see all his sides, the harder I fell. Now, seven years later, I've started imagining forever with him. I like the way he looks when he wakes up, and his slow, sweet smile and the way his nose scrunches up when he laughs, and - well you get my point. My problem is that I'm not sure he feels the same way. He goes on a lot of dates and there's always people coming in and out of his bedroom (we live together, so I'll be up in the morning just in time to see his latest hookup looking around for their shoes and keys. It never gets easier, by the way.) and I just wish I knew if we had a chance. We do flirt quite a bit (at least on my side, it's flirting) and people around us have told us how domestic and married we look, which makes my heart grow three times bigger genuinely. I really like him, you see, more than I've ever liked anyone in my entire life. I want to hold his hand in the grocery store and dip him on sidewalks, and tangle our legs together under a blanket.
So my question is this: Do you think I should make it more obvious that I would like to kiss only him forever, or should I just call it a day and pretend that I'm just okay with only being his friend?
Looking forward to hearing back from you!
Sincerely,
Jock With Heart Eyes
Doyoung has three rules when it comes to writing their column.
1. It is imperative that Doyoung gets the first read through for each of the letters that come in the mail. He's the one that sorts them, put them in little piles, and then carefully goes through each one. He makes Venn diagrams and spreadsheets and even little sticky notes to make sure they get the most out of his advice.
2. The advice he gives his readers is usually practical lessons in love. For him, romance is finding things in everyday life and sharing it with the other person. This means a lot of his date options are movie theaters or restaurants or walks in the park. Easy, affordable dates, and places where people can easily feel comfortable. He prides himself on the rate of success stories he gets in return, people thanking him for his simple but effective advice. He never strays from this.
3. His colleague and co-writer of the NCT Love Advice Corner, Jaehyun Jung, cannot be trusted with any sort of romantic advice. He drives Doyoung absolutely insane, with his over the top ideas, and he never listens to a damn word Doyoung says, which is why this rule is the most important. Never show Doyoung anything that Jaehyun writes unless you want him to cause a scene at the office (No one has forgotten last year when Jaehyun gave advice to a reader that releasing doves was a great first year anniversary present. It was not.) Jaehyun Jung might be his coworker, but he was also the enemy.
These three rules must be followed, even though Jaehyun tries his absolute best to break all three and be a nuisance, because the balance of the carefully created ecosystem is always hanging in precarious balance.
(Staff at NCT Post would like to point out there is no ecosystem, rather just a predator and prey. They refuse to name which one is which, in fear of Doyoung's wrath.)
Dear Jaybird,
I have been feeling so nervous about telling The Boy about my feelings. I saw DoReMi's response to my question, and he told me to go for it, but to go really slowly, which I understand and appreciate. It's easy to get caught up in my feelings and feel like I got too hasty and mess up with the boy. It's my greatest fear. I just want to experience everything with him, the big, the small, the extraordinary, and the ordinary. I want to show him that he deserves everything I have to offer, but I'm afraid I'm not very romantic. I don't know that much about what I would have to do to make a gesture towards getting him to realize how deep my feelings are, and I wonder what is stopping me.
What are some ideas I could use to really let him know that he's the one for me? Just things that I can do, obviously and that can make both of us really happy. He's a fun loving sort of person and he likes to laugh a lot and his smile.....that's for another letter I guess.
Sincerely,
Jock With Heart Eyes
"It's because he's an Aquarius." Doyoung tells Taeyong over their lukewarm coffee in the break room.
"You are an Aquarius." Taeyong leans over and dips his biscuit in Doyoung's sad excuse of an americano, soggy bits floating at the top. Doyoung scowls.
"Which is exactly why I can say this. Like, I am all the best parts of the sign, and he-“ Doyoung sighs sadly. "He got the worst parts. the stubbornness, the way he refuses to listen to a single thing I'm saying, and the way too many emo playlists,...Also, did I mention stubbornness, because I should mention he's really fucking stubborn. He told one of our readers that hiring a circus would be a good way to get closer to their crush. Clowns in love, Taeyong. He called it Clowns in love, and refused to change it."
Taeyong rolls his eyes. "Right, unlike you, who is so very patient and understanding with things, and not at all rigid and set in your ways."
Doyoung nods vigorously. "Exactly, you get it."
Taeyong sighs loudly, and mutters "and yet you two-," but Doyoung doesn't register the rest of the sentence, because at that moment, Mark The Intern walks into the break room, as bright eyed and smiley as a twenty one year old who hasn't seen the cruelty of the world is usually.
"Hi," He waves cheerily, and Doyoung waves back, smiling.
Mark Lee is sweet and eager and came with glowing recommendations from his journalism professors at Columbia, and he's honestly the best damn Intern NCT Post has ever had.
He never complains about the workload or the tiny office spaces that they have, and always meets the deadlines for every assignment he has, with little to no typos. An Editor's Sweetest Dream, that's his nickname around the office.
But most importantly, Mark The Intern has memorized everyone's coffee and bakery orders from the cafe across the street.
He's been here for four months, as he finishes off his last summer semester in New York, and it's rumored that the Washington Post was looking to hire him after graduation, but Mark turned them down to stay here and continue on in the politics section.
Mark is definitely not an Aquarius (Doyoung can tell because an Aquarius would never be caught dead wearing plaid skinny jeans) , and Doyoung appreciates that fact alone.
Jaehyun could learn a few things from Mark the Intern actually.
"Mark, what's your sign?" Doyoung asks casually, hip pressed against the tiny kitchen counter, stirring his coffee.
Mark, to his credit, hardly looks fazed, like it’s normal conversation for his co-worker to ask about astrological signs at 9 am on a Monday.
"uhhh, Leo sun, I think Aries moon, or something like that." Mark laughs, almost looking embarrassed that he knew that information immediately, and rubs the back of his neck.
Jesus. A Leo. And on top of that already colossally devastating news about his favorite intern, a fucking Aries moon.
Okay never mind, abort mission.
Maybe it's better to be an Aquarius after all.
From: Jung Jaehyun< [email protected] >
To: Kim Doyoung<[email protected] >
Date: October 22nd, 2022, 1:27 PM
Subject: URGENT
Doyoung,
I was thinking about how we need at least three love puns in every letter. I have so many good ones. Also, wait how do I send you memes here???? I need to send you this one about lexapro, because it was funny as hell.
Like....You're my lexapro, baby.
Also, I have more date ideas. I'm going to link them at the bottom!!! and what the hell,,,, can u answer your phone????? It's Sincheng's birthday party tomorrow, and I have no idea what to get him.
wait, I forgot to tell you that I'm going to be batman for halloween, so you know what that means......
anyway, I leave you with this love pun:
what did one boat say to another?
Are you up for a little row-mance?
Sincerely,
Jaehyun Jung, B.A Journalism
Emerson College '18
NCT POST columnist
[Attachment link: 100 best date ideas by buzzfeed]
Doyoung groans when he sees Jaehyun's head peek up from the cubicle across from his. His eyes are twinkling and he has this grin on his face, like he knows he's about to terrorize Doyoung the entire day with his nonsense.
From: Bane of my Existence (obj es )
Did you see my response to JWHE?
Doyoung groans at the text he receives, feeling the eyes on him from three feet away.
He looks up, and sure enough, Jaehyun is staring at him, grinning, shaking his phone. "I'm waiting," he mouths, and Doyoung counts to ten, very slowly, before picking up his phone again.
To: Bane of my Existence (Obj es)
Stop heckling me at work
you are the literal worst employee
and also you cannot tell people to confess to someone in a room full of ghosts
or while at a hot dog eating contest what the hell was that
the worst one was the fucking hot air balloon
ARE U OUT OF UR FUCKING MIND????
NOT ROMANTIC !
There's a snort from the other side, and then a text comes in again, then another, and then one more.
From: Bane of my Existence (obj es )
haunted manors are sexy and victorian actually
mmhm, just imagined you in one of those dresses with your ankles and wrists all covered
hot! role-play soon?
I'll pretend to faint when I see one of your uncovered ankles
and you can revive me with your mouth on my dick
Doyoung grits his teeth, and pretends that he isn't blushing, because Jung Jaehyun will not get that satisfaction. The next text comes in, and Doyoung's eyes widen in surprise.
From: Bane of my existence (obj es )
btw, I got you a sandwich from the shop you like down the street
I know you didn't get to eat lunch yet!
He looks at the corner of his desk where the sandwich is sitting there, all wrapped up and still warm like someone heated it right before Doyoung got back from his smoke break, and a smile threatens to overtake his face.
God, what an asshole.
This is a bad idea.
This is a terribly bad idea and no one is to blame except for Doyoung himself and his horny little brain when he saw the snapback and sweatpants combo Jaehyun wore for casual Friday.
Which is why they're here now, in the tiny utilities room, the one hardly anyone ever uses, and why Doyoung's knees are braving the cold hard floor, and the deadlines can wait.
"Sweetheart," Jaehyun breathes out, tangling his fingers through Doyoung's hair, yanking a little when Doyoung moans. He is stuffed full, eyes glazing over, and Jaehyun's dick is so big, he can't even get it three fourths of the way down, but Doyoung loves it, loves the stretch of his mouth around Jaehyun, the way his eyes water, and the little gasps that he makes when Doyoung licks softly around the tip.
"You look so good, Baby," Jaehyun pants, "Just so pretty on your knees. So eager for my dick, huh?" Doyoung sucks harder in retaliation, watching as Jaehyun throws his head back and groans, even though it's true. He took one look at the sweatpants and he was already trying to assess what places would be the best to get a quickie in, and Jaehyun knew it too, the bastard, because he just winked and made sure to purposefully brush against Doyoung all day.
Jaehyun cradles his face, a silent question, and Doyoung nods. "Harder," He says, and goes back to sucking, moaning even louder as Jaehyun fucks his mouth without mercy. He loves this, this unspoken trust between them, because he knows Jaehyun would never hurt him, not unless he wanted him to.
When Jaehyun cums, it's so hot that Doyoung has to press the heel of his palm against his dick straining against his slacks. Jaehyun shakes and almost sobs out Doyoung's name, like a little prayer, and it fills Doyoung with a thrill of tenderness.
Doyoung licks the oversensitive head, smiling when Jaehyun shudders, before pulling off with a pop. "Did- did you lock the door?" Jaehyun nods absentmindedly, and pulls Doyoung closer. "My turn," He says grinning, before he scrapes his teeth gently over a nipple.
Doyoung throws his back, moaning, arching his back so Jaehyun can tend to the other nipple too. He's about to get railed at 1:30 pm on a Friday afternoon in a tiny closet, and he couldn't be happier really.
There's a whisper from outside the door, but Doyoung knows it's lunch break. Why would people come to the utilities room on their break, when there are six other bigger, more spacious rooms to choose from. Logic has always been Doyoung's best friend.
Jaehyun goes lower, his knees hitting the ground, ready to turn Doyoung over and have his own meal, but then the doorknob rattles, and they both freeze in place, looking at each other.
The door handle turns and then, Doyoung sees a flash of red hair, before almost half of the entirety of the NCT Post staff come into view. They stand in front of the tiny closet doorway, blocking most of the light from outside, Kun at the forefront, with Mark and Taeyong by his side. They all look varying degrees of horrified to amused, and if Doyoung could somehow create a sinkhole to drown in right now, he would.
Kun blinks, then turns around, and looks back again, like he thinks seeing his two half naked employees is just a mirage. Jaehyun's dumb Uconn Basketball hat falls to the floor, as if it's reminding Doyoung of what exactly started this mess in the first place, and Kun's eyes snap to it, mouth agape.
"I forgot to lock the door." Jaehyun whispers out of the corner of his mouth, like he's telling Doyoung the weather outside in New York City ("Ah yes, it's a cool 51 degrees Fahrenheit in Manhanttan right now, with a slight chance of rain and maybe losing our jobs. back to you, Doyoung."), and Doyoung muffles the scream of rage that wants to emit from his throat.
shitshitshit, Doyoung is so fucking fired. They're both so fucking fired.
From his periphery, he sees the corner of Taeyong's mouth lift up in a smirk, and he just knows, knows Taeyong like the back of his hand and there's no way he won't say someth-
"Well well well, what do we have here?" Taeyong says, eyebrow raised, then cackles loudly.
Like Doyoung said, a bad fucking idea.
They hold an emergency meeting, right after Taeyong laughs and laughs, until his face turns red and he has to sit down in fear of passing out. Doyoung had glared at him, but the effect was ruined by the fact that Taeyong now knows that he wears Digimon boxers to work, and honestly, it had only made Taeyong laugh harder.
Kun sits at the head of the table, lips pressed into a grim line and he is looking anywhere but at both of them, even though they are now thankfully fully dressed and look more like two toddlers who got reprimanded for stealing crayons, rather than two completely grown adults who engaged in some ill-advised office fun.
Everyone gets settled down into the uncomfortable vinyl chairs that were the only things that their budget could afford, some grumbling about deadlines and not being able to go home this weekend, and how they're instead at this stupid meeting.
Doyoung slouches down in his chair. He didn't want to be there either.
Jaehyun, however, looks pleased, and Doyoung wants to reach over and strangle him.
(What's one more charge against him today anyway? Public indecency followed by murder. Human Resources would have a field day with that one.)
"I know this is an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved," Kun starts, startling Doyoung out of his murderous thoughts, "but we have to maintain a professional, respectful environment during working hours. I don't care what you do at home, if you wanna y'know-" He pauses, looking embarrassed, and Doyoung is going to die.
This is fucking humiliating.
Jaehyun, the bastard, is still smiling serenely.
Kun clears his throat, before continuing, his ears still a bright red. "I get that you two are married and in love, and hormones can get the better of us sometimes in these kinds of situations, but translate that into words okay? fire up those pages with love for world politics and who was on theme for this year's Met Gala."
"Oh my god," Donghyuck, the rookie reporter from investigative crime beats, mutters from behind him. Honestly, Doyoung agrees.
Mark The Intern squeaks.
"Hold on, hold on, Hold onnnnnn, You guys are married?!" He looks like he's two seconds from spontaneously combusting (It's actually concerning how deeply he's flushing, but it's also very cute. He looks a tiny confused kitten.)
"Umm yeah," It's Doyoung's turn to be confused, "I thought you knew? I think I told you during the last office party." He remembers talking to Mark after a few drinks, watching as his husband flitted about and charmed corporate with his dad jokes and his deep booming laughter. His job, on the other hand, was to sit there and look pretty and get as tipsy as possible.
Mark's eyes widen, and he sputters. "Wait, I thought you were joking, like oh yeah Jaehyun is my husband, not like oh yeah Jaehyun is my husband." He sounds a little hysterical.
"How did you not know?" Donghyuck chimes in disbelievingly, "They are so fucking in love with each other, dude." There are murmurs of agreement throughout the meeting room.
"I thought you guys hated each other? You're always fighting and shit. I thought-". At this point, Mark is hunching on the floor. "Oh my god, I told you that I would respectfully fuck your husband. To you, like directly to your face. Kill me for real, I mean it." He whimpers.
"Is he-is he crying?" Kun looks around the room, bewildered, and ten pairs of eyes just stare back at him.
"Mark, listen, I don't remember this at all. Don't worry about it, seriously. We all say things we don't mean when we're drunk." Doyoung says desperately, because Jesus, Jaehyun does not need to get an even bigger ego after this. He can see him now, out of the corner of his eye, sitting up straighter and preening at the praise.
(Doyoung does remember this very vividly, by the way. Mark had said that he thought Jaehyun had a big cock and knew how to use it, and sighed very dreamily. Doyoung, drunk off three glasses of Prosecco and about to launch into his favorite topic of discussion, had giddily agreed).
Donghyuck sighs. "I guess I'll take him to the bathroom and help him get sorted out." He stands, rolling his eyes, before looking at both Jaehyun and Doyoung.
"You owe me emotional compensation," He says, as he pulls Mark up from the floor, and they both stagger to the door. "I'm serious. You made me drop my lunch and now I have to be nice to this." He scowls and gestures at Mark, who is hanging on to him like a dazed, sad limpet.
Doyoung has no doubt that the little brat will have a request set up by the time it's time to clock out. Doyoung is surrounded by menaces.
It's quiet for a few seconds, everyone just looking at door where the two had just left, before Taeyong stands up and stretches, grabbing his juice carton still sitting there from lunch, his eyes filled with mirth.
He takes a sip of Cranberry Apple and looks at Doyoung, grinning with the straw still in his mouth. "Well, this has been the most incredible meeting we've ever had at Nct Post, if you ask me."
Donghyuck Lee charged Doyoung Kim $200
my parents won't stop fucking!
Donghyuck Lee charged Jaehyun Jung $200
in front of my salad?! Justice for Donghyuck's eyes!
Jaehyun Jung paid Donghyuck Lee $2.00
oh I must have read the amount due wrong :)
also here's a free solution to your problem: close your eyes!
(no need to thank me !)
Excerpt from Jock With Heart Eyes Letter to Jaybird & DoReMi
I did it!!! I finally told The Boy how I feel and I feel so much lighter! This past Sunday, I decided that it was time, so I-
"Did you see JWHE finally confessed?" Jaehyun is leaning against the doorway of their bedroom, sweatpants slung low on his hips and wet hair gently flopping across his forehead. He looks soft, sugary sweet, and Doyoung's breath catches. Jaehyun, in moments like this, reminds Doyoung of eight am classes and late night snacks in the convenience store, knees touching each other in the moonlight, of being eighteen and so in love, kissing dimpled smiles and calloused hands, of still feeling that rush ten years later.
"Mhm,' Doyoung says, flushing and turning away, folding away the laundry from last night. It's honestly ridiculous the effect Jaehyun has on him even after all this time. At least at work, Jaehyun's being a menace to society and trying to rile up Doyoung in a different way, with his little smirks and his impulsive pieces of advice that would work better in a high budget romance movie than in real life. He's not half naked, tattoos on full display and inviting little pout on his face, much like he is now.
(But he does wear those ties to work, white dress shirt sleeves rolled up to his forearms, white teeth gleaming at Doyoung from across the room. So maybe the effect is the same, and Doyoung just doesn't want to lose his job).
There's a low chuckle behind him, and then there are two arms around his waist, and a chin propped on his shoulder, hair tickling the side of his neck.
"What are we thinking about so hard, hmm?" There's a kiss pressed against his cheek, and the corner of Doyoung's mouth lifts.
"You. How you disrupt my work and always follow me around everywhere, and tell people to confess in a haunted manor, like that's something that is normal and yet-" He turns in Jaehyun's arms, looking at him, sighing and rolling his eyes playfully. "-And yet I always want to come home to you."
Jaehyun grins, wide and bright, his eyes softening and the press of his fingertips on Doyoung's waist like a little kiss. "I always want to come home to you too." He laughs, and then leans in closer. "Even though riling you up is fun, especially in the office, and in the broom closet, and in the copy editor's room, an-"
Doyoung covers Jaehyun's mouth, groaning, though he can't help the helplessly fond look he gives him. It's okay though, because Jaehyun is giving him the same look back.
"Okay, we get it, you wanna do nasty things to me in public settings. Things that, might I remind you, almost got us written up by HR."
It's been two weeks since they had the disastrous meeting about keeping it professional during office hours, and had barely gotten away with it. The tips of Kun's ears turning red as he lectured about hands being only on keyboards and not on body parts still rings in Doyoung's brain and he stifles a giggle.
In retrospect, now that his pants were pulled up and the love bites on his chest were fading, it was pretty funny, Doyoung had to admit.
"Do you wanna know how Jock With Heart Eyes confessed?" Jaehyun says, pulling Doyoung out of his thoughts, and nonono, Jaehyun's eyes are twinkling. It can't be what he thinks it is.
"Jaehyun, please tell me they didn't, I'm begging you, tell me they didn't." Doyoung had made an entire excel spreadsheet about the statistical probabilities of each scenario that JWHE could have used to convey their feelings, had painstakingly made charts about the pros and cons about romantic places to confess, and had settled on a cute little restaurant and a movie, and he's going to scream. No way did they pick Jaehyun's idea (that he came up with on half a bottle of soju no less) over his well thought out plan.
Jaehyun smiles smugly. "Sometimes, telling people you have liked them for a long time has to be done 7,000 feet in the air and in a tiny little basket, baby."
Doyoung lets out a strangled whimper. A fucking hot air balloon. JHWE confessed using the worst idea that Doyoung could have possibly imagined (and Doyoung calculated it okay, it had like a 0.0001% chance of actually succeeding in the scheme of things, because, oh yeah, it was actually insane to begin with).
Ugh, Jaehyun is going to be insufferable about this forever.
"I'm guessing it worked," Doyoung sighs out, watching as Jaehyun does a little spin around in the room in victory, before he starts charging at Doyoung, picking him up easily over one shoulder, and throwing him down on the bed, Doyoung landing with a little oof and the weight of Jaehyun's body on him.
"Yes, it did, and for that, I deserve a reward, I think." Jaehyun winks like a little puppy just learning to walk, and Doyoung's heart swells. He traces the tiny mole on Jaehyun's cheek with his eyes, down to the even tinier one on his jawline, and then back again to his temple, watching as Jaehyun's smile bunches up under the appraisal.
Their rings glint in the soft glow of the room, their amethyst birthstones resting against the gold of the band, and Doyoung can feel like the cold metal press against his cheek, Jaehyun's hands cupping his face softly.
"Hey," he whispers, I'm so glad I get to write about love with the person I love." Sometimes, Jaehyun surprises him, because he's so over the top with his advice and grand gestures and tyrannizing everyone in the office, that when he's like this, soft and silly and genuine, it feels like Doyoung's heart sings.
"Me too, I get to be with the person I love everyday, and that makes everything worth it." he says back, flushing, and then moves back, arms draped around Jaehyun's neck.
God, they're sappy.
He opens his legs, bent at the knees, head pressed against the silk pillows, and smirks. "Well, come get your reward then, if you must."
Jaehyun fake pouts. "Hmmm, not enough enthusiasm for me being the king of romance, but it's okay, baby, we'll make up for it later." He leans in, meeting Doyoung's smile halfway with one of his own.
Yeah, Jaehyun is going to absolutely insufferable about this, but right now and forever too, he's Doyoung's, and really, that' s all he could ever ask for.
Dear Jock With Heart Eyes,
We were overjoyed to receive your last letter. We're so happy that things worked out between you and The Boy, and we wish you nothing but happiness. You asked in your last letter if love could be measured, or if it's just something you hold in your heart and never really think about, and honestly, it's a little bit of both, isn't it? Love is measured by the little things, the way your lover's hair fans out in the morning and the way they curl up next to you after a long day, or the way their eyes shine at you after you find that perfect scrabble word while playing with your friends. Its the way you might not finish each other's sentences or even like the same things, but you know that they will remember that extra tub of mint chocolate ice cream (even if they absolutely detest it) at the grocery store, the way you curl your a's, the way your laughter tastes against their lips. For us, love is knowing a person and loving them because of it. There are also things in love you can't really measure, even if you wish to keep it in a bottle and count each kiss, each smile, each hello and see you later, lover at the doorway of your apartment. You can't fully measure the contentment you feel sitting next to them watching a rerun of a TV show you both must have seen a thousand times, or the way your hands wrap around a chipped coffee mug and the soft joy you feel looking at the mismatched toothbrushes that line the bathroom sink. But that's the joy of love, isn't it? To just exist in the moment, to know you might drive each other insane and argue like little kids, but know that you want to wake up the next day beside them, with the warmth of the sunlight and their chest pressed against yours, and do it all over again.
This being said, we want to thank you for your continued support and all the letters over the past months. We hope you and The Boy can experience all the joy in the mundane and the ordinary, and everything in between too.
Signing off,
2Aquariuses (in Love)