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steve winced miserably as he turned over, inching away from his boyfriend. once an avid lover of halloween, the time of year now only symbolised death and horror, the type that would be too extreme for even the goriest of films. heads blossoming to bare rows upon rows of flowered teeth, fire licking up squelching and pulsating vines, the bitter and plastic smell of death-
it was all too much.
steve’s appetite had been set alight just as the underground tunnels had been last year. the brunette had ran on a toxic combination of stress and adrenaline for the better part of twelve months, eating erratically. some days he’d forget to eat completely; other days he couldn’t stop eating, desperate to fill the cold void that the mind flayer and demodogs had ripped open inside of him. nearly losing his boyfriend, nearly having been forced to watch him bleed to death with his organs separated from his body had fucked steve up. he knew it had. but he didnt want to turn his boyfriend’s tragedy into his own. billy deserved better.
billy also deserved better than steve’s current appearance. working at family video certainly didn’t put as much strain on his body as basketball practice and swim meets had, and whilst he didn’t lead a sedentary lifestyle, steve couldn’t deny that his body had gotten softer. squishier, around the edges and whatnot. his looks had never been a concern, always something he’d taken pride in. the bitter, acidic self loathing seeping into steve’s heart and lungs was doubly unbearable, because a quick glance at an old photo had him reminded that he’d looked so, so much better.
wide awake, steve turned over again, an angry huff this time escaping past his lips. 5:57am was too early a time to get up without causing great suspicion, so steve was simply doomed to lie flat on his back until billy awoke.
a sentient corpse.
‘steve?’ billy murmured groggily. ‘you awake?’
‘no?’ steve smacked his forehead, cursing out his own stupidity.
‘huh. well, you sound it.’ billy yawned and stretched, tugging at steve’s arm. ‘why’re you awake? s’early, stevie boy.’ the tired slur of billy’s words did little to calm steve down.
‘just… can’t sleep.’ steve settled on finally. ‘might go on a run.’
yes, a run. work off that horrible layer of pudge that had attached onto his midriff and upper thighs, revert his body back to his old high school days, be worth billy’s attention and love again -
‘steve.’ billy sat up, a little more awake. ‘it’s pitch black. it’s halloween. you promised we were gonna eat candy and watch scary films all day.’
‘i’ll stick to the roads.’ steve said, voice horribly sharp. he recoiled at his own tone; it wasn’t billy’s fault that steve wanted to peel his skin off.
he briefly imagined taking kitchen scissors to his body, shearing away the fat that had accumulated on his bones.
‘steve. stop being ridiculous.’ billy’s tone matched his boyfriend’s and steve withered - he didn’t have the energy for a fight, especially not at 6am in the morning.
‘am i allowed to get out of bed for a piss, at least?’ billy’s mouth opened in shock and steve stalked out of his bedroom, down the landing and into the bathroom, gripping the edge of the marble sink painfully. he slowly raised his bowed head, his reflection making him sick. steve struggled as he relieved himself and brushed his teeth; apparently, touching or having his body touched in any capacity was enough to tie his fraught nerves into frayed knots.
what had become of him?
uneasily climbing back into bed, steve could smell mint on billy’s own breath. sour guilt churned in his stomach. he’d disturbed his boyfriend, who’d been sleeping peacefully and just wanted to enjoy halloween, to the point where he’d had to get out of bed at six in the fucking morning.
‘i’m sorry.’ billy offered out quietly; sleepily. ‘i just didn’t want you going out in the dark.’ the apology slapped steve in the face, knocking his anger and breath from his mouth.
‘i… yeah. it’s okay. let’s just go back to sleep.’ steve gave billy a smile that hurt to show, and turned onto his side, facing firmly away from the blonde. if he could just hide his body away from billy until it was fixed, until he was pretty and fit again, then maybe it’d be okay.
‘night, baby.’ billy murmured in his ear, draping himself around steve’s back and snaking an arm across steve’s waist, of all fucking places. billy slept without a shirt on. he often fluctuated between detesting his battle wounds and saying they simply added to his sex appeal, but he always felt comfortable enough to forego clothing around steve. perhaps billy’s arm around his waist was fine, wasn’t a big deal at all, but feeling his lithe, muscular boyfriend wrapped around him didn’t exactly do wonders for his self esteem. gasping in horror, steve pulled at billy’s forearm, reguiding it to a higher point on his body.
‘don’t.’ steve whispered in the autumnal morning, words enshrouded by the darkness. ‘not… there.’ brain still a little soft and slow from hours of sleep, billy pursed his lips, thinking.
‘your stomach?’ billy asked tenderly, pressing further into his boyfriend.
‘yes.’ steve barely spoke the word, afraid that if he did, he’d shatter.
‘wha-? baby, why?’ billy sounded confused, genuinely confused, and tears gathered like rain water in an old container in the back of steve’s eyes.
soon to spill over.
‘don’t pretend.’ steve sniffled quietly. ‘don’t pretend like i’m not disgusting. i’ve gained weight, billy. ten pounds, fifteen, maybe more. so i can’t sit around eating halloween candy, i can’t.’
‘okay, okay.’ billy kept his voice quiet and calm, pulling gently at steve. ‘can i at least see you, angel? i don’t want to talk to the back of your head, for as gorgeous as your hair looks.’ disgruntled and emotional and on the fucking edge, steve reluctantly turned over. even with his face flushed and lips trembling, billy still looked at steve like he was the most beautiful man he had the pleasure of sharing a room with, let alone relationship.
‘hi, baby.’ billy smiled gently, pressing a kiss to steve’s forehead. ‘now. how the hell did you come to the conclusion that you’re disgusting? because you aren’t, steve. you never could be.’
‘but i-‘
‘gaining weight is normal.’ billy barrelled on, still gentle but with a decided firmness. ‘so normal, stevie boy. you look just as gorgeous as you always have - you look like you aren’t having to constantly fight for your life.’
‘no.’ steve insisted tearily. ‘all i do is eat, billy, on the days i can stomach it. it used to feel comforting but i don’t even know if it is anymore.’ billy kissed steve’s forehead again, letting his boyfriend sorrowfully hide his face into the crook of his neck. billy didn’t touch steve’s waist this time, rubbing at his arms instead.
‘if you think you’re eating for the wrong reasons, we can get you help, baby. whatever you need. but any weight that you may have put on doesn’t look disgusting.’ billy wrinkled his nose at the adjective, unsure as to how it could ever be used to describe steve harrington. ‘i still get hard everytime i look at you.’
steve laughed, a little strained and teary, but a laugh all the same.
‘i just…’ he took a deep breath. ‘what happened over the summer happened to you, not to me. and here i am, on halloween of all days, making it all about me. because i can’t get it out of my head, billy. you… you died. me and max had to watch you die and i can’t lose you.’ those tears finally dripped down his face, hitting the pillow and billy’s neck. steve lifted his head slightly, eyes swimming as they met billy’s. ‘i can’t lose you.’
‘i’m here, baby.’ billy kissed steve’s tears away. ‘i know it was scary, but it’s over. you’re not gonna lose me. ever.’ billy’s kind eyes lingered over steve’s trembling lips, planting a small peck on them. ‘you’re not gonna lose me.’ steve buried his face back into billy’s neck, snaking his arms around his boyfriend’s body and squeezing him tightly. he murmured something, an awful something, and billy would always be unsure as to whether or not he was glad he’d asked steve to repeat himself.
‘i’m scared that i will, if i carry on looking like this.’ steve said, terribly honest and raw.
‘you could weigh four hundred pounds and as long as you were happy, i wouldn’t love you any damn less.’ billy frowned. ‘is this - have i ever made a comment, to you, that’s made you scared that i’ll leave?’
‘billy.’ steve smiled sadly. he pushed back, putting an aching distance between them. ‘look at the girls you used to hook up with. they were all so, so tiny. yeah, you’d chase a girl with big tits or whatever, but she’d still be slim. and i know you can’t really work out right now, but you’ve always been this… this chiselled adonis, that had half the guys in the locker rooms loathing you and the other half wanting to fuck you.’ billy’s mouth dropped open: stunned silence. ‘so look at all of that, then look at me. because i’m nothing like that.’
‘steve, baby… i - no.’ billy tripped over his words, stunned. ‘that’s not - i could never not be attracted to you. i guess i did have a type, but i never looked at the girls i slept with and thought they were better than anyone else.’ steve scoffed lightly but billy ignored him, undeterred. ‘after everything i’ve been through, do you think i’m still that shallow? every single day i thank a god that i don’t fucking believe in that i’m here, alive, with you.’
steve didn’t want to believe billy. he didn’t want to break at the brutal earnest with which his boyfriend spoke, like a man repenting at the altar. steve had not only embarrassed himself, but had also more or less accused his boyfriend of being vain; shallow. after working so hard to become a better person, kinder and more patient, it must have been like a blow to the stomach.
‘i’m sorry.’ steve scratched out. ‘i’m ruining our first proper halloween.’ billy wrapped his arms back around steve, tugging him until he was flush with billy’s torso.
‘no, sweetheart, you aren’t.’ billy held steve tightly, arms encompassing his trembling boyfriend. ‘we can get you some help, alright? a little support. but if you do want to lose weight - which, again, i don’t think you need to - i’d rather you wait until you have someone to talk to.’ steve absorbed billy’s words, miserable at the truth and logic in them.
the pair lay in silence, bodies intertwined fiercely. after an ever stretching twenty or thirty minutes.
‘you’re right.’ steve finally admitted. ‘as usual, y’know. you’re right, i know you are.’ billy stayed quiet, letting steve talk. he’d had the attention of everyone for months on end, nursed back to health by the very same people whose lives he’d made a living hell. so, the least billy could do was listen to his boyfriend - make him feel less lonely. ‘i’m just so tired of feeling fucking crazy.’
‘do you know what i suggest?’
‘what?’
‘we stay in bed all day, watch horror films on your ridiculously fucking big tv, and eat all the halloween candy we want. just like we’d planned. and when you feel full, tell me, and i’ll put the candy away. alright? you gotta work with what feels good in your body, baby.’ steve listened with rapt attention, a soft smile on his face.
‘you really love me, don’t you?’ he spoke more so to himself, but billy heard.
billy always heard.
‘yes, steve. i do.’
steve leaned forward, sealing the small distance between their faces with a firm kiss.
‘i love you too. so much. that’s why i… i guess i felt like i’d let you down. by gaining weight. because i want to look good for you.’ he shrugged self consciously, cutting himself off before he could ramble any further.
‘i think you do look good steve, i always have.’ steve’s eyes searched billy’s, finding nothing but honesty. ‘you could never let me down over something as normal as gaining weight. ever.’
‘i believe you.’ steve nodded. ‘i got in over my head a little, i think.’ he laughed tearily, self deprecating, and billy wasn’t having that.
not at all.
‘that’s okay, too. you just gotta talk to me, pretty boy. s’all i ask.’ and billy’s lips were on his again, warm and soft and in control. steve whined a little into the kiss, and billy snaked a hand under steve’s shirt, resting over his chest and the light dusting of hair that sat there.
‘let me show you, steve.’ billy murmured into his boyfriend’s ear, voice saccharine and sensual. ‘let me show you how pretty you are.’
‘o-okay.’ steve nodded, flustered as he let billy roll him onto his back. the blonde hummed and straddled his boyfriend’s lap comfortably, crotches pressed together. the brunette hissed a little at that, making the evil boy sat atop of him simply grin in satisfaction. billy peeled steve’s shirt off and threw the fabric onto the floor as if it personally offended him. which, well, it did. any fabric that obscured his beautiful boy’s body from his sight ought to be illegal, in billy’s books.
he groaned to himself as he drank in the sight of steve. his steve. billy truly couldn’t tell as to how much weight steve had put on, just that he simply looked softer. healthier. not having to run for his life, survive russian interrogations and fight off mutant monsters for a good few months had done wonders for steve’s body, as whilst billy had recovered, steve had too.
steve’s arms were still lithe, still corded with muscle and dotted with the moles billy loved to map out with his finger on nights he couldn’t sleep. sure, his boy’s hips had grown a little, as had his ass and lower stomach, but billy couldn’t understand how those changes could ever be seen as disgusting or wrong.
the extra layer of fat (because fat wasn’t a bad word, and billy would happily die on that hill) made steve look impossibly delicious.
billy wanted to devour him.
‘you’re fucking killing me, princess.’ billy hissed, pressing slow and wet kisses from the tip of his throat and down, down to his nipples.
‘billy.’ steve warbled. he arched his back and the pebbled flesh called to billy invitingly. ‘be gentle, p-please.’ a large hand squeezed at steve’s cheeks and he blushed, barely able to meet his sapphire stare.
‘unless i hear your safeword, i’ll be as rough as i want to.’ billy growled, and he pressed his face into steve’s. ‘i think, princess, that i need to remind you of your place. worrying about your looks, keeping secrets from me… that isn’t how good boys behave, is it?’
‘n-no, sir.’ steve replied immediately; breathlessly. ‘it’s not.’ billy stilled, luring steve into a false sense of security, before pinching and squeezing his left nipple. that solid hand slid from his face to his throat, and steve whined, already close to floating. clever fingers constricted around the sides of his neck and steve’s mouth parted slightly, head swimming deliciously.
‘does it hurt, baby?’ billy mocked, flicking over the sore nub of flesh before slowly traveling those wicked fingers over the expanse of steve’s chest and towards the other. ‘am i being mean?’
‘sir - sir gets to give me whatever he wants to.’ steve gasped, the hand around his neck loosening. ‘i like hurting for you.’
‘christ, you’re such a slut.’ billy chuckled, leaning down to kiss steve and steal the little amount of breath he’d built back up in his lungs. ‘and a very pretty one at that.’ steve huffed and turned his head away, so billy of course guided steve’s head back to a central position, an iron grip on his boy’s chin. ‘say it back to me.’
‘n-no. s’embarrassing.’ steve managed a petulant pout but his body betrayed him. billy felt his cock kick in his boxers, hitting at his boyfriend’s leg.
‘i’ll spank you fucking black and blue.’ billy threatened lowly, and steve knew it wasn’t an empty one from bitter (or not so bitter) experience. ‘say it back to me.’
‘i’m… pretty. and a slut.’ steve rushed out, his cheeks reddening adorably. billy rewarded him with a forehead kiss and he rested his hand on the waistband of steve’s boxers.
calvin klein, of course.
‘can i take these off, babygirl?’ and god, that fucking nickname had steve’s body flushing all hues of pink, swollen lips dropping open in stunned pleasure every single time. it had been billy’s idea to introduce more… feminine pronouns in the bedroom, with steve enjoying any sort of humiliation that also reminded him of how fucking weak he made billy. back in the previous autumn they’d spent together, steve had came after fifteen minutes of billy playing with his nipples and calling him his filthy little girl.
‘p-please.’ he begged weakly. ‘sir, please.’
‘alright honey. they’re coming off.’ billy kissed steve’s hip bones, dipping his fingers under the fabric. ‘sir’s got you.’
steve sometimes got like this, as billy had learned. deep in subspace, brain wrapped in cotton wool and his body at billy’s mercy. his boy could still handle the humiliation, still bathed in it, but it was a careful line to toe. for as sadistic as billy was, he’d rather fight the mind flayer all over again than ever upset steve. it was in these moments that billy had proceed with absolute caution; dominance and grace.
‘there, that’s better, hm?’ billy asked as he tossed steve’s boxers over his shoulder and opened the drawer in the bedside table. with practised ease, be retrieved a hefty bottle of lube. ‘i can feel how full you are, right here.’ he grinned. he cupped steve’s balls, letting them sit heavy in his hand as he ran a hand over the velvety skin. steve’s legs fell open even wider around a whine, inviting billy towards the most intimate parts of himself.
billy ignored steve’s not-so-subtle request for more, content to roll his surely aching balls between his skilled fingers.
‘m’gonna milk you for all you’re worth.’ billy scratched out lowly, voice shot from pleasure. steve whimpered, earning him a sharp smack! to the face. his head whipped around to the side and all he could do was moan pathetically, precum beading at the tip of his neglected cock. ‘shut your fucking mouth, sweetheart. i don’t want to hear it.’
‘come on sir.’ steve snapped as sweat beaded in his hairline, impatient tone riling billy a little. ‘let me cum, please. i need it.’
billy hit steve’s face again, making the brunette blink and whine as the same sore spot was struck again. he hated how he loved the pain billy inflicted, and in their year long relationship, it had taken billy a long time to reassure steve that it was okay to like pain. that he just needed to seek it out in a controlled environment that had his best interests as a top priority, such as with billy. it hadn’t been easy to watch steve struggle to accept himself, to accept his likes and dislikes, but it had been so worth it. his baby now had no qualms in acting out for a spanking, or talking back to receive a few slaps to the face.
‘watch the attitude, baby. i know you’re a desperate whore who can’t quite help herself, but manners don’t cost a thing, do they?’ steve pouted, brows furrowed. ‘steve. don’t fucking test me. unless you want the cage?’
they’d bought the cock cage in the spring of that year. or, rather, steve had, driving twenty miles out of town to a seedy sex shop in order to acquire the item. he’d proffered it out shyly to billy, with their jaunts in bdsm being relatively new back then. using more extreme toys had been discussed at length by the couple but steve’s nerves were evident that day. billy had ultimately been honoured. it wasn’t just a sex toy, it was trust. trust in it’s most personal form, and billy had been careful to never ruin that.
‘hnng, no.’ steve huffed. ‘sorry. just wanna feel you in me.’
‘watch that fucking mouth then.’ billy tutted. temporarily moving his gaze from steve’s face, he saw that his boyfriend had crossed both his arms over his lower stomach, holding it in on an uncomfortable inhale. his boy must have shifted during billy’s quick search for the lube, taking the opportunity to hide his most natural features.
and that? well that had billy’s heart just about ready to break.
‘no.’ billy shook his head, tapping twice at steve’s forearms. ‘move these, baby, above your head.’
‘can i at least get on my front then?’ steve tried to bargain, billy’s command sobering him up some. ‘it’s probably an easier angle anyway, so-‘
‘no.’ billy repeated, interrupting his boyfriend’s rambling. ‘we’re gonna stay like this sweetheart. let me see you, please?’ steve stilled even more so and billy frowned.
‘stevie, hey.’ he whispered. ‘what’s your colour?’
‘g-green, sir. i just… it’s scary.’ steve tightened his grip around himself, relaxing a fraction as billy carded his fingers through the silken locks of hair that had pooled onto the pillow.
‘you don’t need to be scared of anything.’ billy vowed. ‘i am always, for as along as i have breath in my body, going to find you attractive. you deserve everything. every spoon and bite. i love you, baby.’
although clearly comforted by billy’s words, steve moved his arms away reluctantly, eyes squeezing shut as if he were bracing himself.
bracing for what, billy had no idea.
he shimmied further back, sitting on steve’s calves so as to litter kisses along the expanse of skin that his boyfriend seemed so ashamed of, so adamant to hide.
‘wha - ah.’ steve jolted, sensitive skin at the mercy of billy’s searing lips. ‘that’s… oh, that feels nice.’
‘so fucking gorgeous.’ billy insisted, flicking his eyes upwards to meet steve’s. golden quartz and sapphire. ‘you look gorgeous. i’ll never ever get sick of looking at you.’ billy landed a final kiss to steve’s stomach before opening the bottle of lube with a quiet schnik, warming a generous amount between his fingers.
‘billy, sir, i - please.’ steve’s voice was weak, fraught and tired, trembling with arousal. ‘m’gonna explode. just please, let me cum.’ a broken sound punched out from his lungs when billy eased two fingers inside of his hole, trailing around his sensitive rim beforehand.
‘god, i’ll never get over how easy it is to shut you up. baby just needs to be full, doesn’t he?’ billy teased, manoeuvring steve’s legs until his ankles were resting over billy’s shoulders, not as broad as they had been prior to the events of that summer, but still as strong.
‘y-yes sir. im a cock whore.’ steve rolled his hips back onto billy’s fingers, yelping when the two pads brushed against the walnut-sized bundle of nerves inside of him. ‘oh, right there!’
‘jesus.’ billy scoffed. ‘not even embarrassed about it, are you honey? i don’t know why i’m surprised.’ he patted steve’s cheek, smiling condescendingly. ‘it’s all you’re good for, isn’t it?’
‘y-yes, yes!’ steve agreed, tears building in his eyes.
‘you look so good like this.’ billy marvelled. ‘god, steve, you don’t understand how fucking beautiful you are. and all of this, all of it, is fucking mine.’ billy punctuated his claim by a rough increase in his pace, steve letting out little uhn uhn uhn’s on every thrust.
billy’s talent at being sweet as sugar and then sour as lemons, mean and hard, had steve’s head swimming. his insecurity surrounding his weight gain was quite simply impossible to mull over with the way in which billy was working his body.
the coil in his gut tightened impossibly. it’d been building slowly throughout the night, an aching pressure. the litany of filth pouring from billy’s mouth didn’t help steve to exactly stave off his impending orgasm. he was a good girl, precious baby, sweet little slut. all his.
‘sir, sir, im cl-ah! close.’ steve warned urgently, fat teardrops rolling down his cheeks. ‘hurts, huh-hurts.’
‘okay angel.’ billy soothed. ‘it’s okay. come for me, honey. all over my fingers. clench up nice and tight for me baby, and just let go.’ billy gripped steve’s cock in a loose fist, not even moving, just providing contact. it was both kind and humiliating - a semblance of comforting contact, and proof that steve was desperate enough to fall apart at the mere touch of a palm to his cock. steve came with a high pitched yowl, back arching.
‘oh, there we go.’ billy cooed. ‘let it out, baby. it’s okay. i’ve got you.’
‘sir, s-sir, sir!’ steve moaned, brain broken beyond billy. for as cliche as steve knew it was, he truly felt as though he were floating on a cloud as his post-coital bliss washed over him. something warm hit his stomach - billy’s cum? - and he was soon rolled onto his side, two warm arms anchoring him.
steve must have fallen asleep, for when he awoke, the sky was a pale grey rather than inky black. his stomach was clean and uncovered, clothes still littered across his bedroom floor. a soft, hot something was curled closely to him, pliant and warm from sleep.
‘hi, baby.’ billy greeted, brushing a lock of steve’s hair away from his forehead.
‘what time is it?’ steve stretched and yawned before burrowing closer into billy, inhaling the scent of his spicy body wash. cinnamon and something-or-other.
‘nine thirty. how are you feeling?’ billy checked.
he’d have liked to ask the question hours ago, but steve had soon passed out after his orgasm and with billy unsure as to how many sleepless nights steve had been victim to, he’d decided to just let his boy sleep.
‘really good.’ steve beamed, rubbing his eye tiredly. ‘i guess… not as bad. as before.’ billy snaked a hand down, gently cupping steve’s stomach and then hips.
‘good. because i meant every single word i said.’ the blonde promised.
‘happy halloween to me.’ steve giggled. billy grinned, sharp incisors on display as he dipped down to kiss the brunette.
‘happy halloween to you.’ billy agreed softly, staring down at steve with beaming eyes. ‘how about we take a bath, and then start our movie marathon, hm? with candy.’
steve searched billy’s eyes, just as he had last night. he could only find love. the type of love to hold your hair back when you’re sick, to put bandages over paper cuts, to find your favourite pair of matching socks on an arctic winter’s morning.
the type of love to not care about something as banal as weight gain.
‘yeah.’ steve kissed billy gently, tangling their legs together. ‘with candy.’