Chapter Text
*Pre-debut:
Yeosang has been pacing back and forth in his and Wooyoung's shared room for what feels like hours.
He's pissed.
He doesn't know what the hell Wooyoung's problem is. For months, Wooyoung has been shoved so far up San's ass, it's a wonder he can even breathe. Now that they have signed contracts with KQ Entertainment and are officially set to debut as the group Ateez, Wooyoung and San are always together. It's like Wooyoung has totally abandoned him.
If they have to pick partners? Wooyoung clings to San.
When they have to ride somewhere together? Wooyoung sits with San.
When it's time for solo practices? Wooyoung drags along San.
San. San. San. San. San.
Yeosang is sick of it. He's decided to confront Wooyoung about it.
Tonight.
That is, as soon as the younger leaves San's room and comes back to theirs.
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Confronting Wooyoung is not going according to plan. Yeosang waited for so long that he let his anger get the best of him. As soon as Wooyoung closed the door behind him, looking happy as a fucking clam, Yeosang couldn't control himself and blurted out "What the hell is your problem?!"
...It's gone downhill from there.
"I'm supposed to be your best friend!" Yeosang exclaims.
"You are my best friend!" Wooyoung whines, eyes following the pacing Yeosang as he sits pitifully on his bed. He feels blindsided... no idea where any of this is coming from. What the hell are they even talking about?
"Yeah... I can tell," Yeosang quips.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Wooyoung says, taken aback.
Yeosong stops his frantic pacing right in front of the seated Wooyoung. It annoys him that the younger is playing so innocent. "Don't play stupid, Woo... the second we signed on to debut as Ateez, I haven't meant a thing to you."
"That is NOT true, Yeosangie. And you know it," the younger shouts back.
"No, Wooyoung. I don't know it," Yeosang spits with a venom that Wooyoung has never seen before. He turns his back to the younger, arms crossed, practically vibrating with suppressed anger... even though deep down, Yeosang knows it's simply because Wooyoung has hurt his feelings. He is upset over losing his best friend to some shiny new toy.
"Why would you say that?" Wooyoung replies, sounding hurt, shaking his head in confusion.
What is happening?
Why is Yeosang so angry with him?
What did he do wrong?
"Are you serious?" Yeosang turns on his heel.
"Yes, I'm very fucking serious..." Wooyoung is starting to get irritated.
Yeosang glares at his friend for a moment before schooling his features into a neutral expression. He takes a deep breath, exhaling through his nose before saying, "San."
"W-what about San?" Wooyoung stutters. He is completely caught off guard by the older's remark. What does San have to do with anything? And why is Yeosang so angry at him?
Yeosang can't hold back his scoff. Wooyoung is absolutely playing dumb. And right now, it is not charming.
"What about San, Yeo?" the younger asks again, rising from his bed to stand face to face.
"He's obviously your new best friend," Yeosang oozes sarcasm.
"Excuse me?" Wooyoung is completely shocked.
"You heard me... We've been friends for years, Wooyoung. YEARS. We trained at BigHit together. We decided to leave together. Agreed to come to KQ together so that we could debut TOGETHER. And now, I'm like chopped fucking liver!" Yeosang practically screams. He's just so frustrated.
"It's not like that," Wooyoung whispers. He can feel the blood drain from his face... migrating to his ears, turning them bright red.
"Yes, it is! Whenever San is around, it's like I don't exist," Yeosang replies matter-of-factly.
"You are my best friend, Yeosang. You always have been. San is just... different."
Yeosang scoffs again. Wooyoung has some nerve!
"Oh yeah? He's just "different"?" he retorts.
"YES!" Wooyoung shrieks. How is he supposed to explain this to Yeosang?
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Yeosang counters.
"It should! You mean the world to me, Sangie... San is.. just different," Wooyoung says, heart pounding in his chest.
"You've said that already," the older responds, dry and cold.
"Yeosang.. please," Wooyoung tries to take Yeosang's hand. Wooyoung is a very affectionate person and needs physical touch to feel secure. Yeosang always makes him feel secure... except for right now. Yeosang jerks his hand away, walking across the room to sit at his desk.
"Please what?" he says, propping his elbow on the desk, looking very much like an adult scolding a child.
"Just... please... don't," Wooyoung whispers. "Please don't make me say it," is what he thinks in his head.
"DON'T WHAT?!" Yeosang explodes, bursting to his feet again. He crosses the room to stand right in his best friend's face. "After years of friendship, Woo... taking care of each other, supporting each other, being there for each other! All of a sudden San comes along and is sooo different. You mean so much better, right?" Yeosang fights to hold the exasperated tears back from his eyes. "What could possibly make him so fucking different? To make you totally shut me out?"
"Yeosang..." Wooyoung breathes as he hesitantly takes the other's hand.
"Answer the question," Yeosang chokes out, voice quivering with the effort to not cry. He hates crying. He tries to be strong but deep down, Yeosang has a tender heart. A trusting, kind heart. And right now, he feels abandoned by the person he trusts the most.
Wooyoung says nothing. The look on his face pleads with his best friend... pleads to escape answering this particular question.
Even though the answer is simple.
"Please, Wooyoungie... why are you doing this to me?" Yeosang pleads as the first tear rolls down his cheek.
Wooyoung's heart breaks.
"... I-I love him..." Wooyoung murmurs, barely above a whisper, eyes glued to the floor. His ears feel so hot. If a person could die from embarrassment, Wooyoung would surely perish at this moment.
"What?" Yeosang croaks. He couldn't have said what he thinks he heard.
"I love him, Yeosang," Wooyoung says softly.
"What are you saying, Wooyoung?" he asks, even though so many things are falling into place in his mind. Yeosang has always known that Wooyoung likes boys. It's never deterred their friendship in the least.
"I... I'm in love with him, Sangie. Please don't hate me! I just l-love him. I can't help it... Please don't be mad at me," Wooyoung says through a sob. When they lock eyes, big, fat tears stream down Wooyoung's face. He's never said it out loud before. Maybe he didn't want it to be true. But it is. He can't lie to himself or Yeosang about it anymore. Wooyoung is head over heels in love with Choi San.
Yeosang leads the younger to sit on the bed and pulls him into his lap. Wooyoung curls into the embrace and cries uncontrollably. He knows he is soaking Yeosang's shirt but he can't stop himself. He clings to Yeosang, desperately seeking comfort for his poor heart.
"Shhhh," Yeosang soothes, running his fingers through the distraught boy's hair. His own tears coming to a halt. Poor Wooyoung has been suffering all alone. And instead of really seeing his best friend, he got upset and threw a pitty-driven temper tantrum.
"It's ok, Woo. I'm not upset anymore. I'm so sorry."
Wooyoung just nods his head, still curled up in a ball in the older's lap.
Yeosang feels like the biggest asshole in the world. How did he not see it? How could he have missed all the signs? Wooyoung is such a sweet, loving person. (Sassy as hell but still very gentle at his core.) He should have known better than to think he would just discard him like that.
Wooyoung is in love. Yeosang can't say he is shocked. The way he and San act toward each other is so different... so very different from how they act with anyone else.
Ah...
San is different.
Yeosang gets it now.
"Does he know?" Yeosang gently asks when Wooyoung's sobs die down into small sniffles.
"I-I don't know," Wooyoung hiccups, crawling out of his friend's lap to sit beside him, though not letting go of his hand and burrowing his face into his neck. He still needs comfort and support.
"You haven't talked about it?" Yeosang questions. He would have assumed he was upfront about his feelings. Wooyoung can be quite "in your face" sometimes. And he doesn't necessarily mean that in a bad way.
Wooyoung shakes his head no. "I don't want him to hate me... I'd rather keep it to myself and be able to keep him just the way we are. We're about to debut. I don't want to ruin everything. Not just for me or for San. I don't want to ruin it for you or the others... just because I can't control my stupid heart."
"Your heart isn't stupid," Yeosang says. "Even if you haven't talked about it, I can tell San is crazy about you. He'd be an idiot if he weren't."
"He is kind of an idiot though," Wooyoung giggles. Yeosang laughs softly. "But I love him anyway. He just makes me feel so... warm."
"I don't make you feel warm?" Yeosang jokes, bumping his shoulder against the others.
"Are you saying you want me to be in love with you instead?" Wooyoung teases back.
"Absolutely not," he deadpans. Both boys chuckle at the thought.
"Talk to him," Yeosang finally says after an easy, comfortable silence. "Even if you don't flat out say you love him, you should at least feel him out. I think you will see that he has feelings for you too."
"You really think so?" Wooyoung says with the biggest puppy-dog eyes Yeosang has ever seen.
"I do. It's pretty obvious," he replies firmly.
"Thanks, Sangie," Wooyoung adds as he leans his head back onto the older's shoulder. "And I'm sorry I made you feel so bad. I really didn't mean to."
"I know, Wooyoungie," he says, laying his head on top of the others. "I understand now."
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Two weeks after Yeosang and Wooyoung's conversation... to which Wooyoung has yet to say anything to San about. Their shameless flirting continues uninterrupted.
*Wooyoung's perspective:
Wooyoung presses his back firmly against the wall outside the door of San's bedroom. He came upstairs to find the older, to demand his attention... but as he reached for the doorknob to barge in (without knocking, per usual) a sound from within gave him pause.
A small whimper flitted through the door into Wooyoung's ears. What was that? His hand hesitated as he leaned his ear closer to the door. As he listened quietly, knowing that San was alone in the room, another moan made its way to his ear.
"Oh my god... is San masturbating right now?" Wooyoung thought, heartbeat spiking at the thought.
Now Wooyoung is stuck... glued to the wall of the hallway- knowing he should walk away but unable to make his feet move. The small gasps and sighs coming from the bedroom have Wooyoung completely frozen in place. San sounds... fucking beautiful. Wooyoung can't stop the intrusive thought of how he wished he was the one making San sound that way. Whatever San is doing to himself at that moment, he seems to be taking his time and savoring the feeling.
Wooyoung feels himself grow harder in his gym shorts. Fuck, he should walk away. "Walk away, Wooyoung," He tells himself over and over... and is about to actually do it when he hears...
"Ah... Wooyoung..."
His brain comes to a screeching halt. Did San just...? There's no way he heard that correctly. With quickening breath, he places his ear directly on the door. No longer trying to be subtle about his eavesdropping.
He initially hears nothing- but after a moment, a few heavy breaths reach his ears. Then... another plea of his name. San called out Wooyoung's name while masturbating.
"Oh my fucking God, what do I do?! What do I do?!" Wooyoung panics.
Before he has the mind to stop himself, his own hand betrays him as he knocks softly on the door. He hears muffled cursing and shuffling as San tries to hide what he was doing.
"Y-yeah?" San calls through the closed door.
Wooyoung doesn't wait for an invitation and walks right into the room. San looks absolutely ravishing; shirtless, with pink cheeks, red ears, and a slight gleam of sweat on his brow... tucked under a blanket with a pillow held firmly in his lap.
"Hey, Sannie," the younger says softly as he makes his way across the room.
"Hey," San replies slightly breathless.
Wooyoung doesn't know what he should do now that he has actually interrupted the other. What he wants to do is throw that pillow to the floor and finish San off himself. He's wanted to for so long. And obviously, San wants it too...
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*San's perspective:
San can't get Wooyoung out of his head. He has never met another human that completely and totally captivates him the way Wooyoung does.
"He's perfect," San thinks over and over. He doesn't mean perfect in the literal sense. Perfect as in... perfect for San. Wooyoung is loud, bratty, boisterous, wild, and flirty... but he is also caring, sweet, hardworking, loyal, loving, and compassionate. The list goes on and on. San has never had feelings like this for another guy before but he genuinely doesn't care. He's never had feelings like this for anyone. Ever.
Wooyoung is his person. He could feel it in his soul from the moment they became friends.
San wants to be a good friend. He wants to be the best hyung he can be to Wooyoung but it can be so difficult sometimes. Especially when Wooyoung looks and acts so fucking beautiful and sexy and graceful and adorable all at the same time.
He feels blood rush between his legs at the deep thoughts he's having of the younger. His boxers get tight as he allows his mind to wander. After all, he is alone in his bedroom.
He pulls off his shirt and settles back into his pillows, cupping himself through the thin fabric.
The next thing he knows, he is fully stroking himself at the thought of Wooyoung. Small gasps escape his lips as he twists his fist around his leaking head. He tries to be silent but visions of the younger dance behind his eyelids.
"Ah... Wooyoung..." San moans out as the fire in his belly burns hotter, imagining Wooyoung is the one touching him. His hands, his lips... He imagines touching Wooyoung back.
"Fuck," he sighs, feeling so damn good in his fantasy, resting his head back on the pillows with closed eyes, "Woo-Wooyoung."
He's getting close...
Knock. Knock. Knock.
San jolts out of his daydream at the sound of someone knocking softly on his door. "FUCK!" he mutters to himself, scrambling under his sheet and throwing a pillow over his throbbing dick.
"Y-yeah?" he manages to stutter out just before the door opens.
Wooyoung walks slowly into his room looking every bit as ethereal as in his fantasy.
"Oh my fucking god, what if he heard me?! What do I do?!" San panics.
"Hey Sannie," the younger says softly as he makes his way across the room.
"Hey," San replies slightly breathless.
The older has no idea what he should do now. He didn't even manage to pull his boxers up before Wooyoung came strolling in. He literally has his dick out, probably getting precum all over the sheet with how close he was to cumming.
Wooyoung walks across the room and sits gently on the bed beside him, giving him a shy look but says nothing.
"Fuck, he heard me. He must have," the older panics even further while trying to keep his face neutral.
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"Sannie..." Wooyoung breathes as he shuffles to lie down beside the older.
Any other day, any other moment, this would be normal. They cuddle all the time.
Fully clothed.
No chance of direct contact with San's bare cock.
He wants to scoot away but that would be even more suspicious. San stays perfectly still as he tries to calm his breathing, clutching the pillow in his lap.
Wooyoung pulls one of San's arms around his shoulder, resting his head on the other's chest. Body fully pressed into San's side.
Still normal behavior for them.
Normal cuddling.
Wooyoung places his hand on San's belly, just above the pillow. He hesitates for a moment as they stare into each other's eyes. The older looks terrified.
"Cute," Wooyoung thinks... just before dipping his fingertips under the pillow, brushing against the head of San's flushed cock.
"Were you thinking about me?" Wooyoung whispers, swirling the tip of his finger around the head. The glide smooth from how wet San is.
"Wooyoung... I-I can explain," San stutters out. He knows he's been caught and is absolutely mortified.
"Shhhh," Wooyoung soothes. "I like that you were thinking of me... Can I help you?"
The look of shock on San's face makes Wooyoung smile. He wants to laugh but he knows San probably feels quite vulnerable at this moment. He doesn't want the older to feel like he is being laughed at.
"Wooyoung," San moans as the younger forms a fist around the base of his shaft, head dropping back onto his pillows. It feels so fucking good. Small pants escaping past his lips.
"Sannie, you have no idea how badly I want to touch you," Wooyoung explains as he begins running his hand gently along San's length. "I've wanted to for so long. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop at first, but when I heard you call my name... I couldn't stay away any longer. I want you, Choi San. But if you want me to stop, I will..."
Fire shoots through San's nervous system at the feeling of Wooyoung's touch. He's wanted this too. San squeezes Wooyoung closer to his body, one arm around his shoulders, the other coming up to cradle the back of his neck. He places a soft kiss on the younger's forehead, reveling in the sweet smell of his hair and skin.
"Don't stop."