Work Text:
Before we get into this week's post, I have something to say.
Tomorrow is my College's Orientation Day, therefore I will be starting College soon. Therefore, I apologize in advance for missing posts or just not posting at all. It is not the end to me, nor my writing, it's just that I'd be trying to focus on College.
Thank you to everyone single one of you who've read. liked and commented on my work. You make me happy and proud of myself. Also special thanks to a_unique_gemini for the constant support, I could swear I saw a similar username when I used to post on Tumblr.
You make me happy, and I hope I can make you happy, even if it's for a minute.
Natasha sighed as she entered the front door of her home, duffle bag left leaning against the wall as she locked it before hanging her keys on the hook, fingers brushing against the others, making the clinking noise of the keys sound through out the home briefly.
Walking forward into the living room that connects to the kitchen with an open concept, she sees the sun rising behind the mountains with the wildlife waking from a night's rest, reminding Natasha of how tired she felt, how the time flew beyond her grasp and left her without remorse.
Shuffling through the corridor leading to the bedroom with the door closed, slowly twisting the doorknob, the creak that once was in the door hinges were fixed, the sunlight occasionally making it's presence known as the curtains blew with the wind. Her gaze scanned around the familiar room before her eyes landed on the occupied side of the bed, you, on your side as you slept away the night without her by your side.
She walked into the connecting bathroom, closing the door behind her with no sound, letting out a shaky breath as she stripped off her clothes, turning the temperature in the middle to wash herself. As the shampoo washed down the drain, Natasha closed her eyes with her head tipped back under the water. The wave of doubt and uncertainty washes over her like the water dripping down her body.
Drying herself then tying her slightly damp hair into a braid before making her way to the side of her bed, lifting off the blanket covering over it, laying her aching body on the mattress made her sigh in relief but she felt cold. Her side was always cold, even for you, the warmth of her body that was supposed to be occupying the space was always gone, she could feel the warmth from your body despite not touching you in any way. Her eyes remain on you with her fingers ghosts over your back, with uncertainty, she removes herself and moves closer towards the side of the bed. Finally stepping into the darkness and getting the sleep she desperately needs, she dreams of you.
When her consciousness returns hours later, the sun was already high in the cloudless sky, or so she thinks it is, the curtains were still pulled together but now, the side of your bed is cold and it was a sudden and yet cruel reminder of how she treated you, there was a distant noise coming from outside the bedroom door which peaks her attention.
Slowly getting up, she pulls the curtains open and makes the bed, brushing her teeth and rinsing her face with water before she heads to the living room. There you were, the dining table on the side which faces the backyard, eyes glossed over and still hazy from sleep, brunch already plated and served on the table but coffee still in the pot to remain warm.
She bids you a quiet 'Good Morning' in her still post-sleep voice that was a tad deeper than her usual tone, pouring herself a cup of coffee before seating herself directly across from you, the sun shining through the large windows casting it's glow on you with her shadow that looms over you.
Your vision came back into focus as a figure sat themselves across from you, now focused on Natasha instead of the leaves being blown by the afternoon breeze and lays softly themselves on your backyard.
"When is your last mission? " , were the first words spoken on that day, breaking the silence of the room.
Not making eye contact as words continued being spoken, "I'm scared... it feels like you're not here, I don't mean to get in the way of the decisions you make but...why? " , at this point her utensils were sat down on the side of her plate laid out by you seconds before, eyes staring towards the table with your messy bed hair covering your eyes, your hands gripping onto the utensils weakly, your neck aches from the stretch but unwillingly to face the decision.
"In the back of my mind, you died, I couldn't even cry, not a single tear." , her eyes wavered onto droplets that fell onto the table.
"I'm sick of waiting patiently for you to come home." , her eyes stayed glued to the tears falling from your eyes onto the table, falling just a breeze away from your plate.
Her sight once again focus elsewhere when you lifted your head up to face her, her jaw clenched as she stared into your teary eyes, the dark eye bags letting her know you stayed up for her again, for the umpteenth time. Her fingers clutching her pajama pants tightly under the table, suppressing the urge to wipe your tears away.
"I submitted the letter before I came home." , she whispered to you, her voice wavering hoarsely.
"I didn't even regret it, just please... don't regret me." , she said, suddenly tasting salty tears in her mouth.
"I'm sorry." , she tries.
Nodding your head, wiping away the tears roughly with the hem of your shirt to pick up the fork again, the cold plate of food making the moment bland in the mouth.
She only hopes you stay.
Stay with her.