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“Just do what you do to yourself.”
Caitlyn bit her lip. “What if it turns out some of the things I do to myself are… weird?”
She could feel Vi’s gaze on the back of her head. “Wanna give an example, cupcake?”
“Absolutely not.”
Vi had the audacity to snicker, and then gently massage the back of Cait’s head as if that made up for it. Which it definitely didn’t. “I guess start simple, then, and I’ll let you know if you need to get… weirder.” Caitlyn pointedly remained silent for several moments after that. Pointedly silent and completely unmollified by the divine motion of Vi’s fingers against her scalp.
“What about,” Caitlyn eventually began, before hurriedly sitting up because asking this while her head was still in Vi’s lap was just not something that was going to happen. “What about… with my mouth?” she continued, the last two words coming out slightly hushed. “One can hardly ‘do what you do to yourself’ with o-oral stimulation,” she finished with a laugh that was not at all nervous or completely, horribly awkward.
Vi grinned. “Yeah, never heard of a human being that flexible.” The specificity made Caitlyn wonder what Vi had heard about other species, though not enough to actually ask. “But really, oral’s even harder to screw up. Lips and tongue… you’d have to be trying to do anything that hurts, so at worst you’d just be boring at first.” Caitlyn must have frowned harder than she thought, because Vi’s bravado faltered as she rushed to correct, “And you’re really good at learning s-stuff so I’m sure you wouldn’t be boring for long! Or, or at all!”
Caitlyn decided to take pity on Vi and herself for now, and ask a much less excruciatingly sincere question. “You only mentioned lips and tongue. So I shouldn’t use my teeth?”
Vi snorted, then shook her head. “No, you should not use your teeth.”
“No clit biting.”
“Absolutely no clit biting,” Vi confirmed with both a grimace and barely contained laughter.
Caitlyn adopted an exaggeratedly thoughtful look, finger on her chin. “Does that mean I also shouldn’t punch you,” with her other hand she mimed a quick, short uppercut, “in the vagina?”
Sudden, shocked laughter distorted Vi’s incredulous, “Wha-ha-haa-hat?!” The same problem plagued the, “Noo-ho-hooo!” that followed.
With an intermittently straight face, Caitlyn huffed, then faux-muttered, “I knew that was bad advice.”
Even more, even louder laughter exploded out of Vi. Through it she struggled to ask, “A-advice fr-...from wh-who?”
“Oh,” Caityln sighed, “just mother.”
Vi howled, rolling on the bed. Slowly, the howling receded to cackling, the cackling to forceful giggles, the giggles to wheezed chortles, and through the chortles Vi tried to speak. There were several failures before she managed to put complete words together, using her honestly dreadful impression of Caitlyn’s voice and accent to ask, “M-Mother? Mother dearest?”
“I never call her that,” Caitlyn objected before Vi brazenly covered her mouth with a hand.
Voice still broken by occasional spikes of laughter, Vi continued, “M-Mother dearest, I’m thinking of giving my pr-...precious innocence to my hot Undercity girlfriend you to-…totally hate. Do you have any adv-...advice as an old s-straight lady,” Caitlyn fwapped her on the arm and she almost fell apart again, “for ss-s-sexing up girls?”
Removing Vi’s hand, Caitlyn drew herself up, back straight, posture perfect, the picture of dignity. Looking down her nose, she coolly answered, “Punch her in the vagina.” She took a moment to assess the superiority of her impression over Vi’s before they both fell into each other – and eventually off the bed – laughing uncontrollably.
The laughter was just beginning to slow when they heard footsteps coming down the hall, stopping at the entrance to Caitlyn’s room. They both looked up to see Caitlyn’s mother in the doorway, back straight, posture perfect, the picture of dignity – despite her indignance. Looking down her nose she coolly asked, “What is going on in here?”
She had to take a step back at the volume of Caitlyn and Vi’s renewed laughter.