Chapter Text
I love waves so much. It’s been like this for years.
The water has always been my safe abode. The place I go when I need to catch my breath or think. It always used to be our place.
Mine and His.
The sun would set, and he'd hold me in his arms as the promise of tomorrow came. A promise he can no longer keep because tomorrow is here, and he isn't.
He left me behind to face the unknown future on my own. My toes sink beneath the sand as the water laps at my feet. The sun slowly sets, leaving a dull ache in the pit of my stomach knowing that he isn't with me.
I have spent most of my life knowing him, and over half of it being completely in love with him.
I was sure I'd spend my entire life being hopelessly in love with someone I could never have, but then he was there…wanting me.
I didn't think there was anything better than hearing my name in his mouth, but then he said he loved me and I realized it was only just the beginning.
It was meant to be the beginning of us, and if I had an idea, it would end this soon, that I'd lose him now, it would have changed nothing.
I still would have loved him.
I still do love him.
Despite how lost I am without him here to depend on.
A chill runs up my spine at the stiff wind nipping at my exposed skin, and I quickly wrap my long brown cardigan tighter around my torso, holding my arms around my waist as I step back from the water. It's nights like these—the lonely kind—when I wish the water would just take the pain away.
Even drowning has to be better than the numbness in my chest and the dull knot in my stomach.
I miss his touch.
My breathing becomes shallow as I walk further up the beach, settling into the sand as tears fill my pale brown eyes.
The knots in my stomach tightens as I pull my knees to my chest, waiting for the sun to set without him for the first time.
It’s been a year since I had the courage to come in this part of the town. When he left I felt alone, alone for a very long time. I was in our own world until I realised its not there anymore.
He wrecked everything.
He wrecked everything.
He wrecked me.
And yet I miss him.
Everything just feels wrong without him near me.
He should be here, and his arms should be around me.
My head rested against his chest as we watched the sunset together—but he's gone.
Vanished.
And I think I'll long for him for the rest of my life.
This loneliness won't go away with time.
The confusion is going to remain settled in my mind with each day that passes.
As the sun inches closer to the horizon, his touch fades into my skin.
My heartache grows stronger, consuming me with each second that he's not here, and as the sun bleeds from the skyline—so does my heart.
"What are you looking at?" I turn my head at the sound of his voice and my throat dries when I spot him sitting just a few spots behind me in the sand.
The same dark eyes.
The same devilish look in them.
And the same warm smile rests on his lips.
"I thought I might find you here." He speaks again looking at the horizon. The setting sun painting an orange-purple hue on the calm ocean.
"It's our spot," I mumble and shift my gaze back to the water. "I miss you." I mumble softly.
“I miss you Yugyeom.” I whisper again reminding myself more than him.
"I miss you too, baby." His voice cracking. "Don't forget about me."
"Never." I shake my head and shift in my spot again. "It's me and you, its always us Yuggy," I say with a small hum as my lips fall into a straight line.
"Always."
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