Chapter Text
Greta turned to look at Carson, who was sitting on her couch in New York City, after getting her a glass of water. Carson hadn’t said more than a couple words after showing up suddenly at Greta’s door, simply shaking her head when Greta had asked if she was okay.
She walked over to the couch, sitting next to Carson but far enough away to give her some space if she needed it, and handed her the water. “Thanks,” Carson muttered, holding the glass with both hands but not drinking it as she stared straight ahead. “I just… I didn’t know what to do… I just came here… I didn’t know where else to go…”
“Okay. It’s okay,” Greta told her. “Why don’t you just tell me what’s going on? Are you in some kind of trouble?”
Carson almost laughed. “You could say that.” She shook her head, looking down at the water she held. “I was um… I was traveling and I was in California, I didn’t feel good, I hadn’t for a while actually, so I went to a doctor… thought it might have been something I ate…”
Greta’s mind immediately started to race with thoughts of Carson having some horrible, incurable disease that would take her away from her until Carson’s barely audible voice broke through her thoughts.
“I’m pregnant,” she said, the tone of her voice giving Greta the impression that it was the first time she’d said it out loud. “I’m pregnant,” she said again.
Greta opened her mouth then closed it again, not sure what to say. Carson seemed to find her voice in the silence. “When Charlie came to visit me, in Rockford, we went to the hotel he was staying at and… you know, after what happened with us, with Jo, that fight we had… I wanted to see if I could feel that way about him again and…” she looked down at her stomach and shrugged. “I just found out about a week ago. I guess I should have known. I was probably in denial.”
“What are you going to do?” Greta asked softly.
“What can I do?” She shook her head again. “I don’t know. I can’t play baseball anymore. They probably won’t even let me coach. No one wants to see a pregnant woman calling the shots.”
Greta shifted slightly to sit closer to Carson but didn’t touch her. “Are you going back to Charlie?”
“No,” Carson told her. “No, I’m not going back. We’re getting divorced. I had already made my mind up before… this,” she said, motioning to her stomach. “It’s already started, the paperwork and everything. Maybe this should change things but it doesn’t. I don’t want to be my mother, she was only with my dad as long as she was because of us, me and my sister. We knew she wasn’t happy, I just didn’t know why. Then when she left, it was…” She shook her head. “I’m not doing that.”
“Does he know?”
Carson shook her head. “I haven’t told anyone. Only you.”
Greta didn’t speak for a moment, biting her bottom lip. “You were in California when you found out and the first thing you did was go across the country to tell me?”
Carson laughed softly. “Well, when you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous.” She shook her head. “No, it was. It was ridiculous.” She put the still full glass of water she still held on the coffee table in front of her as she started to stand. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I came here… I just… I’ll go.”
“Whoa, whoa,” Greta said quickly, putting a hand on Carson’s arm to stop her before she ran off. “I never said I didn’t want you here.” She let out a quick breath. “Look, why don’t you just stay for a few days until your head stops spinning so you can figure out what your next move is?”
Carson exhaled slowly, leaning against Greta as she sat down again. “I don’t know if it’s ever gonna stop spinning.”
“It will,” Greta assured her, kissing the side of her head softly. “Until then, I’m right here.”