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Stan sits in his dark, cold room with only a shirt and his boxers. The moon is full and the wind is blowing against his window. His legs hang off the side of his bed as he stares at the ground.
Memories from just hours earlier flood through his brain.
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๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ฎ๐จ ๐จ๐๐ฉ ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ'๐จ ๐๐ค๐ช๐๐, ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ. ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฎ ๐จ๐๐ฉ๐จ ๐๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ก๐ ๐๐ช๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ช๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐ข.
๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐จ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐๐ก๐ ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐๐จ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐๐จ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐จ ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ค.
๐๐๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฎ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ก๐ ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ก๐ค๐ค๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ง๐ช๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ก๐ฎ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ช๐ฅ.
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๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ ๐๐ช๐จ๐ฉ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐จ ๐๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ข.
"๐๐'๐ง๐ ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ช๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐ ๐๐๐ฉ, ๐ค๐ ?" ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐๐ก๐ก๐จ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ.
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"๐๐... ๐๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช ๐๐ค๐๐ฃ๐ ?"
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๐๐ฎ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐๐จ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ ๐ ๐จ๐ข๐๐ก๐ก ๐จ๐ข๐๐ก๐. "๐ฟ๐ค๐ฃ'๐ฉ ๐ฌ๐ค๐ง๐ง๐ฎ ๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ฉ ๐๐ฉ, ๐๐๐๐. ๐๐'๐ก๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐จ๐ค๐ค๐ฃ" ๐๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ฃ๐จ ๐๐ค๐ฌ๐ฃ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐๐จ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ ๐ ๐ ๐๐จ๐จ ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐๐จ ๐๐๐๐๐ .
๐ผ๐๐ฉ๐๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐ ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐จ ๐จ๐๐ค๐๐จ ๐ค๐ฃ, ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฃ๐ฎ ๐ ๐๐จ๐จ๐๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค๐ฅ ๐ค๐ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ'๐จ ๐๐๐๐.
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๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ก๐ก๐ค๐ฌ๐จ ๐๐ฎ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฎ ๐๐ค๐ฉ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ช๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ค๐ง.
๐๐ฉ๐๐ฃ ๐จ๐๐ฉ๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ง๐, ๐๐ช๐ข๐๐๐ค๐ช๐ฃ๐๐๐.
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๐๐๐๐ฉ'๐จ ๐ฃ๐๐ซ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ค๐ง๐ ?
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๐๐๐ ๐จ๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐ช๐จ๐ ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐จ ๐๐๐จ ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ง๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐ค๐ข๐ ๐ช๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐ง๐๐๐จ๐ค๐ฃ๐จ.
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๐๐๐๐ง๐'๐จ ๐ค๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ฎ๐จ ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐๐จ ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐.
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๐๐๐๐ฎ'๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ข.
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He feels a tear fall down to the ground. They left around 6, it's now nearly 10. He knows they're not coming back.
He should've known that the relationship wasn't going to work. He barely lasted a month with Wendy, and that was one person.
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Stan always felt sort of distant. It wasn't like this at first. When the relationship started, they were all attached to the hips.
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He started doubting himself. He knew he was the one who distanced himself first but he didn't think it would make them leave.
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He slowly gets up and goes to his dresser. He pulls out his hidden vodka and opens it without a second thought. He chugs down nearly half the bottle before pulling it down from his lips.
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He wipes his eyes and mouth and heads out his door.
He slowly trudging his way to the bathroom and turns on the light.
The sound from the vents is all he hears as he stares into his reflection. He sets his bottle down in the sink and rests it against the faucet.
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Everything he hates about himself is sticking out even more now. His choppy hair, the way his lips always look like they're in a frown, the dark circles under his eyes.
He doesn't understand what Kyle and Kenny see- ๐จ๐๐๐ฃ in him.
Deciding that he'll be drinking all night, he closes the bathroom door and picks up the bottle once again.
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He takes another sip before going to sit beside the toilet.
He doesn't know why he got convinced that drinking is fun. Nothing about this is fun.
But he relishes in the feeling of destruction. He loves knowing that he could die by 20 if he keeps this up. Not like he has anything to look forward too anymore.
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As he chugs down more of the liquid, a thought comes to mind.
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...What if he can drink until his body gives out ?
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Maybe it's a silly thought as he has grown a bigger tolerance over the years. But that doesn't mean he can't try.
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He has enough alcohol around the house.
Deciding that his decision is final, he goes and takes another gulp from the bottle. One gulp turns into ten and he finishes whatever was left.
He presses his brows together and sets down the glass that was just holding the clear poison.
He quickly stands and instantly regrets the action as he begins to see stars. He hasn't really had anything else to consume today. His body is only vodka.
The thought of that amuses him.
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He walks to the door and heads downstairs into the kitchen.
Drinks are found fast and once he grabs enough, he goes back up to the bathroom.
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He doesn't bother to close the door this time.
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Rosรฉ, whiskey, rum, tequila, gin, beer. You name it and he's probably holding it.
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Stan returns to his previous spot and picks one up without looking. He opens it and instantly begins to chug it down with his eyes going shut. The cinnamon flavor and intense burning lets him know that it's the fireball.
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He pauses for a second to catch his breath and goes right back to finish the bottle.
Not like it's a big bottle... He knows he's lying to himself. Everything around him is in large, glass bottles.
He just doesn't want to be as insane as he thinks he is.
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Fireball finished and thrown to the side, he picks up another random bottle and does the same routine.
It takes about two minutes to finish another one. He begins to feel the alcohol taking over his body. He laughs a little at the feeling.
It kind of tickles his arms and legs but burns his throat as the rest clouds over his mind.
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All he can hear is the vent and the liquid going down his throat. His eyes begin to close by themselves the more he drinks.
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As he goes to pick up a fourth, a hand grabs his wrist. When did someone come into the house ?
He looks up and is met with Kenny's distressed face. He furrows his brows with confusion.
"The fffuck you doing heeere ?" Stan asks as his head slightly wobbles.
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Kenny's face goes from stressed to saddened. He turns his head to look over his shoulder, "Ky, I found him !"
He looks back at the fucked-up boy in front of him. "Oh, Stanley" Kenny whispers.
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Kenny uses all his might to pull up Stan but he tries to stay grounded. Ultimately, he fails and is now in the blondes arms.
"Fuck, Marsh. Why didn't you say something ?" Kenny's voice is a bit muffled from it resting at the crook of Stan's neck.
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Kyle walks in and his eyes shoot down to the alcohol and up to the two boys. He quickly walks over and lifts Stan's head so they're face-to-face.
"How much did you drink ?" Kyle is looking around Stan's face as if it'll give him an answer. Kenny holds him even tighter.
"Ooonly threee"
"Three cups ?" Kyle asks as he smells the alcohol from Stan's breath.
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Stan chuckles and shakes his head. "Bottllles"
Kenny lifts his head and Kyle's eyes widen.
"Holy shit- why ?!" Kyle feels his heartrate beginning to go up in panic.
"To sssee how much I co- could drink befffore dying" Stan smiles at his words. He's ridiculous.
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Kenny and Kyle share a look of concern.
"You- I-" Stan begins to say. "Fuck !"
He rips himself from Kenny's hold and goes to the toilet. He knocks over a few bottles as he kneels down and pukes into the bowl.
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The two rush over and move the bottles out of the way before crouching beside the sick boy. Since Kyle doesn't like to see puke, he sits behind Stan as Kenny goes to his side.
Kyle puts his hand under Stan's shirt and lightly scratches up and down his back. Kenny runs his fingers through his dark hair.
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The puke burns his throat as it's only stomach acid and different alcohols. His nose feels dry and on fire as tears form in his eyes. Kyle presses a kiss to his back.
He sits there for about a minute before resting his forehead on the bowl.
Kenny takes hold of Stan's face and kisses his cheek. "You need to eat something, ok ?"
Stan doesn't say anything as the two boys help him up. Kyle hugs him from behind, Kenny in front.
Kyle gives him a kiss on his neck. "I'll go make you some food"
He releases his hold on Stan and walks out the door to go to the kitchen.
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"Let's brush your teeth" Kenny says into Stan's ear.
"O- ok"
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Kenny pulls away from the hug and takes hold of Stan's hand. They walk over to the sink and Kenny wets Stan's toothbrush and puts the toothpaste on it. He gives it over to the boy next to him.
"I'm gonna getchu some clothes" He kisses Stan's cheek again and goes to his room.
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Stan looks at the toothbrush then up at the mirror. He looks a total wreck.
His dark circles are even worse. His hair looks more choppy and messy. His skin has gone pale.
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He still doesn't understand his appeal.
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He sighs and starts brushing his teeth as best as he can. He's so tired that he knows he missed a few teeth in the back but he doesn't really care.
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He rinses his mouth out to get the last of the paste and gross stomach mixture out. He wipes his face and Kenny walks back in.
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Kenny sets the clothes at the edge of the sink. "I'll help ya change"
Stan, still not fully out of his drunkness, lifts his arms tiredly so Kenny can pull his shirt off.
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Kenny grabs the hem of Stan's shirt and pulls it over his head and arms. He drops it to the ground and picks up the one from the sink as Stan puts his arms back down.
He takes a second to look at his boyfriend's body. His stomach looks scarily flat. From not eating all day and throwing up every little last thing in his body, he looks sickly.
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Kenny holds the shirt in one hand and uses his other one to run it down the front of Stan's torso. He frowns at the sight.
"Did you have anything else today besides alcohol ?"
Stan shakes his head and Kenny sighs. "Lift your arms again"
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Stan does as told and Kenny slips the shirt on. It's one of Kenny's 'Nascar' shirts that he leaves in Stan's closet. Kenny had bought the shirt in an XL as it was the only size they had left.
Kenny then hands the pair of pants to Stan. Stan takes them and Kenny puts his hands on the other boy's shoulders to keep him steady.
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The pants are dark green plaid pajamas that fit snuggly at his hips but nearly go past his feet. These are Kyle's pants. Kyle has always had longer legs.
When Kyle wears these they usually hang slightly off his hips but stop around his ankles.
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Stan is swimming in their clothes. He turns to look in the mirror. He does a small smile as he looks himself up and down.
Kenny goes up behind him and wraps his arms around Stan's waist. He puts his chin on the shorter boy's shoulder.
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"You look really cute in our clothes" Kenny has a look of lovesickness on his face. He looks at Stan's face after looking at him in his shirt.
He sees lips that he loves to kiss, hair that he loves to play with, eyes that he loves to stare at.
"You're so pretty"
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Stan smiles a bit more at the comment and puts his hands ontop of the blondes.
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Kyle walks in and stands next to the two. He looks in the mirror to see the faces of the boys he loves.
He then furrows his brows curiously and steps back. Kenny swings him and the boy in his arms to face Kyle.
Kyle looks Stan up and down. "You stealing my pants ?" He asks with a smirk.
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Kenny gives Kyle a toothy grin and raises his brows. "He looks super sexy, right ?!"
Stan looks down at the ground out of embarrassment. He can't blame the blush on the alcohol as it is almost completely gone from his system.
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"Hell yes he does" Kyle replies. He walks up and puts his hands on Stan's hips and kisses the tip of his nose.
"Made you some grilled cheese. Let's go eat" He squeezes Stan's hips lightly before taking hold of his left hand. Kenny takes his arms away from the other's waist and grabs Stan's right hand. Kyle leads them out the bathroom and down the stairs into the kitchen.
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There's three plates with grilled cheese and tomato soup. Stan takes the seat in the middle, Kyle to his left and Kenny to his right.
Kyle's phone is connected to a speaker on the counter. Soft music plays at a moderate volume.
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Stan stares at his plate and goes to talk before Kenny shoves a piece of bread into his mouth.
"Eat first, talk later"
Kyle giggles at Stan's look of confusion. The three eat with "Let's Stay Together" by Al Greene playing in the background.
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They finish their food and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Kenny sits on the counter, Stan follows, Kyle stands between them. He turns down the music a bit.
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Kyle faces the two and puts his hands on Stan's thighs. Kenny puts a hand slightly over Kyle's and caresses Stan's thigh with his thumb.
"Alright, what happened ?" Kyle asks
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Stan sighs before talking. "Just thought that, you know," he looks to the side nervously. "That you guys didn't need me anymore"
The two next to him tense their bodies and he can feel his thighs get squeezed. He closes his eyes and shakes his head. "I'm sorry"
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Kyle moves his freehand to Stan's jaw. "Hey, don't be sorry. We aren't mad"
Kenny scoots closer and moves his hand down to Stan's knee.
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Stan groans and looks up to the ceiling with his eyes closed, Kyle's hand slides down to his neck.
"It all sounds so fucking stupid now" he laughs at himself and look back down at his legs.
"You guys left without saying why or where you were going. You weren't back in an hour so I started thinking that you guys just... left me"
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Kenny and Kyle look at each other in guilt. The blonde cringes at himself, "We didn't even think about that. Oh, baby, we're so fucking sorry"
He wraps his arms around Stan and leans his head on the younger boy.
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Kyle looks down for a second before looking back up at Stan. "Do you... know what day it is ?"
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Stan bites his tongue while thinking. "Uh... no ?" he looks at Kyle with a puzzling expression.
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The redhead puts his other hand back on Stan's thigh and leans his forehead down to his knees. "Jesus, Marsh,"
Kyle looks back up and kenny chuckles. "It's the eighteenth"
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"... And ?"
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The the blonde and redhead shake their heads at the same time. "October eighteenth, babe" Kyle tells Stan with a slightly quirked brow.
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Stan thinks for a second and slaps his hands on his face once he realizes. "Oh my god... You left and got me a gift, didn't you ?"
Stan feels utterly stupid. He forgot his own birthday.
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Kenny smirks and raises his head. "You forgot about tomorrow ?"
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Stan moves a finger to look at Kenny. "Maybe"
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Kyle takes hold of Stan's wrists and brings his hands down. "You are unbelievable, Marsh"
He kisses the tip of three fingers before going to the living room.
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"Stanley," he looks over at the blonde. "You're the cutest dumbass I've ever met"
Kyle walks back in with a medium-sized box in his arms.
"What about Ky ?"
"He's the cutest smartass"
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Kyle elbows Kenny's leg. "Dick" he says with a smile.
Kenny does a dramatic frown which causes both Stan and Kyle to laugh.
Kyle hands the box over to Stan and Kenny scoots away to give him room.
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"Might as well give this to you now" Kyle mentions.
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Stan wastes no time opening the box. He throws the lid to the ground and looks inside. He begins to smile at the gifts.
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There are two build-a-bears on either side, one red and the other yellow. The red one has a little green shirt and the yellow one with an orange jacket.
The middle of the box has an arrangements of chips and candy.
He moves the last thing of candy and is met with a framed photo.
It's a photo of the three from fourth grade. The three are standing in the snow with their arms around one another. Kenny to Stan's left is in his parka, face barely there. Kyle to his right with his green hat and his right hand making a peace sign with his eyes closed as he smiles. Stan is in the middle with his red and blue hat and smiling widely at the camera. He remembers his mom taking this photo.
School was cancelled from the icy roads and two feet of snow. The boys insisted on playing outside even though it was near freezing.
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It was one of the happiest memories they have together.
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When Stan doesn't say anything, Kyle perks up nervously. "Sorry that we couldn't get more- we just didn't have a lot of money and-"
Stan leans forward and cuts his rambling off with a kiss.
"Ky, I fucking love it"
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Kenny steals a kiss from Stan. "You're gonna love tomorrow" he gives a mischievous smirk.
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Kyle smacks Kenny's thigh. "No, Ken. We aren't fucking him"
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Stan's eyes open wide and his face blushes red. "You were planning that ?!"
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Kenny nods his head while licking his lips. "I was planning on it but Kyle thinks it's too cheesy"
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"Uh, yah, because it is !" Kyle retaliates.
"Oh come on ! You know you'd wanna suck him off while my dick is in his ass !"
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"Oh my god you guys are embarrassing" Stan pinches his nose bridge.
"You love us though" Kenny says in a mildly seductive tone into Stan's ear that makes Stan blush.
"I mean... early birthday sex isn't as cheesy" Kyle comments.
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Kenny jumps off the counter and raises his arms as if he's cheering ( which he totally is )
"WOO LET'S GO ! WE GET TO FUCK MARSH FOR HIS BIRTHDAY !"
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Kyle helps Stan off the counter and he grabs his phone and the speaker before they hold hands. They laugh at Kenny's antics and start heading out the kitchen.
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Kyle stops in his tracks when he feels a slap on his ass.
He turns with a fake mad face. "Kenny !"
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"Sorry, couldn't resist !" He puts his hands up in defense.
Stan and Kyle dramatically roll their eyes. They continue walking upstairs with Kenny behind them.
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They get into Stan's room and close the door out of habit. Kyle turns the music up and sets the speaker on the nightstand.
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He turns and stands next to Kenny. They look at each other, then at Stan.
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"Get ready for the best birthday gift ever, Marsh" Kenny says with a smirk.