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Iruka was desperate. He had looked into every corner, lifted every box, opened every jar, examined every corpse, but he found Kakashi nowhere. The man had just… disappeared.
“That’s concerning,” Tsunade said, which only annoyed Iruka because yes , obviously , it was concerning. He was concerned. He was dead-scared. He was wondering.
“Dead or alive, it would be a disaster if they had Kakashi,” Shizune added.
Actually, it’d be more concerning if they had him dead because — well because first of all he would be dead and Iruka didn’t even want to think about it, but he had to, didn't he? because they were shinobis and the fact their spouse could die at any given moment was always, always on their mind — but also because he firmly believed that no one could capture Kakashi or make him drop any secret if he were alive. This man breathed and lived for the village. Dead, however? Iruka knew Kakashi had built some traps on his own body if he were to die, but if they weren’t enough, if enemies discovered secrets regardless… well, Iruka just knew Kakashi’s worst nightmare would happen.
Iruka took a deep breath. It had only been thirty two hours since the last sign of Kakashi's life. Okay, usually when he went so long without knowing his spouse’s statut, the Hokage and Shizune at least knew something. Here, they knew nothing. The storm had devastated everything. It came from nowhere and it hit them hard, because it usually never happened in their latitude.
“We’re short staffed,” the Hokage sighed. “You understand I can’t put shinobis or anyone on the case when there are still so many people to save, heal and numerous houses to rebuild.”
Iruka’s common sense and ninja duty understood. Everything else in him protested.
“I understand, Hokage-sama.”
“I’ll do my best,” she answered and he was dismissed.
*
On the fifth day since Kakashi’s disappearance, Iruka’s could provoke an (really unneeded) earthquake with how much distress and stress his body radiated. The whole village knew his state, and lots offered him compassionate glances while some threw him glances that said “I understand” (like Tsunade did). Alimenting his state, there was the fact he couldn’t concentrate with the task at hand, an important task of helping the civilians .
For someone who preached the virtue of calm and meditation on a daily basis, this was a shame.
*
On the seventh day, the world was just… fuzzy. It was a blur, truly, where he assisted the medical team and slept. He did study bits of medicine (because he thought every shinobis should know the basis), and he knew his mental state just took a huge toll. With every day passing, the chances of finding Kakashi (alive) lowered.
During the nights, he barely slept. Either, he was filled with intrusive thoughts of Kakashi being tortured in the most impossible ways, or the guilt just consumed him. He was a shinobi, godammit! He should spend these nights looking for his husband, not lamenting about his own fate!
He decided to take a breather, outside. Usually, walks under the moon were Kakashi’s thing, but tonight Iruka felt like him. The village was more peaceful, no one would interrupt his train of thought, and the air was fresh, just right to shake some sense into him. After some time, he opted for resting on a roof, watching the late lights turn off.
He didn’t expect, though, to get hit by a bat in the head.
“What the—”
He rubbed the spot where the animal collided with him. He searched for the creature (maybe was it hurt?) only to find it flying around him, letting out some screeches. It didn’t seem hurt in the slightest.
“Leave me alone !” he grumbled, swinging his hand in a desperate attempt to make the animal flee.
Of course, it didn’t work. Iruka tried another option, which was to move somewhere else, but wherever the shinobi went, the bat followed. Then, he tried to stay still for long minutes, hoping that maybe the thing would stop being interested in him. He had little to no knowledge about bats, but he knew the comportement of this one was off. Bats weren’t mosquitos or flies, they weren’t attracted to light or blood like these insects could be — or at least, that’s what he knew, but truly bats and animals weren’t his field. He had enough to do with children.
He tried to hide in an obscure alley, then behind the huge rocks of the training fields, then he went back home only for the bat to continue jumping into his windows, then the roofs of the highest building in the village…
At some point, tired of running, he accepted his new fate.
“You won, fucker,” he said, out of breath.
Which made the bat emit an unpleasant and unpleased sound. Wait, did that mean the bat… understood what he said? He raised his head back. Maybe it was a summoning? Maybe it had a message? Damn, a week off duty couldn’t make it forget the basis of his own world.
“Do you have a message for me?” he asked the bat.
The bat stuck his tongue out. Iruka narrowed his eyes to understand what it meant. It stuck it out once more.
“Are you a child?”
A scratch on the face answered him.
“Are you fucking serious!?”
Iruka never heard a bat laugh, but he was sure as hell the bat was making a fool of him.
And the night circled back again and again. He tried to escape the mammal, but it never let him go; then he tried to talk to it, only to be answered with stubborn snickering and tongues out; then he tried to hide.
Eventually, at dawn, exhausted, Iruka laid on a roof. “You won, you dirty bouncy big eyed blood sucker.”
The bat sat down next to him.
Iruka looked down at it.
It looked back.
Then it screeched and Iruka swore it broke his eardrums. Iruka, at this time and hour, understood cool-blooded murderers, because he was considering a serious and well-planned assassination against this animal.
“Iruka-sensei?”
Iruka stood up as soon as he heard Gai-sensei, who looked tired in a way he never saw the man. He was exuberant, with long and distinguished sentences, who often resealed the most precious advice; and though he still radiated this too-much-ness, it felt worned out. Kakashi once confessed Gai was his most valuable friend and whenever he doubted, only he (and Iruka) could cheer him up. Iruka scolded himself for not checking on him; Kakashi and Gai had been friends for decades, of course his disappearance affected him as much as Iruka.
“Hi Gai! How are y— get off, demon!”
Like a trained ninja, the bat had taken advantage of a moment of inattention to attack him, mounting on his head.
“Oh, Iruka-sensei, I see you’ve adopted a cute little pet!” Gai flashed a smile.
“This—” Iruka grabbed the bat “— is not —” he pulled the hardest he could “— a pet —” he conjured all his strength “— nor did I —” he gave up, the claws of the creature too tight in his hair “— adopted him.”
“Well, he sure did adopt you. That is such a nice thing, actually! I always tell my students that having a pet is the best way to improve as a person. So many people see taking care of animals as a mundane, picayune activity, but I rather think it is the best way to build patience and leadership, the most important qualities; and qualities young people have both plenty of yet also lack of!”
“You do have a good point,” Iruka cut him off. “But I didn’t adopt him. It actually kept me from sleeping all night.” True be told, he wouldn’t have slept either way.
“Oh, I see. What an inconvenience. Mind if I join you?”
“Actually, please , come help me.”
Gai chuckled and jumped on the roof. “Ah, we are here, face to face, with a very persistent bat.” Persistent, indeed, seemed like the perfect word for this bat. “Does it bite?”
“I don’t know, but it scratches,” Iruka showed his cheek, still red from earlier.
“Ah, a nasty bat we have here. Would you come on my hand, little brat?”
The bat looked at the open hand offered by Gai, and considered it. Consider it again. Considered a third time before tangling off Iruka’s hair.
“Gai, you’re my saviour!”
He laughed, “When I was younger, though I still do it, I used to take harmed animals in. Although this one looks in perfect health, it gave me lots of knowledge about them.”
Iruka’s face lit up, “You mean, you could help me with it? It followed me all night, I honestly have no clue what to do with it.”
“Hm, that’s strange. Usually, bats and animals are more afraid of us than we are of them. They avoid us more than anything.” Gai raised the bat in front of his face. “What are you up to, little monster?”
The bat licked his teeth and showed his tongue, which made Iruka roll his eyes. If it weren’t for talking to Naruto just yesterday, he’d have thought this bat was Naruto.
“Aw, he’s really cute, isn’t he?” Gai gushed, apparently the happiest man on earth.
The bat, though, didn’t share the same happiness as it bit his nose and took off from Gai’s hand.
“Ouch! “ Gai whined, rubbing his hand on his nose, ““That’s some scallywag here!”
The bat flew all around them, which was almost maddening by the perfection of the circle.
“See, told ya! This bat is insufferable.”
“I’ve never encountered a bat with such behaviour! But worry not, I know someone who could help us.”
*
“So, you touched the bat,” Shizune sighed.
“I didn’t have a choice, exactly. It kept pushing me, scratching me, flying around me…”
“And biting,” Gai added.
“And biting,” Iruka repeated.
Shizune frowned, deep in her thoughts. Iruka wouldn’t have ever guessed Shizune knew so much about night animals, but according to Gai, she was an expert ; and Iruka was ready to seek help from anyone, true expert or not.
The bat had agreed (as much as it could agree?) to step down on the table of Shizune’s lab and stared at Iruka. Somehow, it made Iruka very uncomfortable and he tried to look everywhere but at this bat. Now that the race against the bat ended, and that silence filled the room, the pain in Iruka came back at its fullest. For a brief instant, he didn’t hate the bat as much as he did a few moments ago. Okay, it attacked and harassed him; but it distracted him. For a night, he thought about something else than… his loss. He was annoyed rather than sad.
Then he went down spiralling, guilty of being relieved of not being sad all the time. Guilty of being relieved he stopped thinking about his husband’s possible, certain loss.
Gai broke the silence, “Hasn’t it something weird on the eye ?”
Shizune squatted, “You’re right. It’s like… a scar.” She approached her hand from the bat’s face; but the creature panicked quickly and took off. Shizune started screaming as the bat bumped into several tools in the lab, breaking some of them in his hasting moves.
Eventually, the bat landed on Iruka’s hair. Again. Iruka sighed, but didn’t attempt to remove the pest. Iruka thought of the mammal like quicksand: the more you moved, the more you'd get stuck.
“I’m so mad I’m not an artist, because I’d have painted your face right now,” Shizune said, gathering the broken glass on the ground. She didn’t sound too mad, which relieved Iruka. At least, the demon didn’t break anything of value.
“That would be strange for such an animal to get a scar specifically on the eye,” Gai thought out loud. It walked towards Iruka and squinted comically. A moment passed. Then another. Then Shizune,
“Are you playing a quiet game?”
“Yes, and I’m winning.”
The staring contest lasted for some more, uncomfortable, seconds before the bat whined and Gai celebrated his victory. He then landed his hand and the bat, giving the reluctant vibe, fled on it. As if it were a doll, it let Gai manhandle him.
“How did you…” Iruka murmured.
“See? I told you I was used to animals.”
Iruka and Shizune exchanged a look, before shrugging it off. Gai was a man of many talents and it’d be an endless hole to try to question them.
Shizune selected a curved instrument from her collection to look more closely at the bat face. “You’re right,” she said, “there’s definitely a scar here. Which is strange, because the eye seems in perfect state. It should have gone into an infection given the angle and the depth of the scar.”
During their manipulation, Iruka stayed a bit farther. He didn’t want to bother them; yet, the bat only looked at him, blinking his overly glossy eyes and with that scar, on the left eye, like Kakashi.
Like Kakashi.
Like.
Kakashi.
He shook his head off. Linking this bat with Kakashi must be the stupidest idea heard of humankind ; and he was a middle school teacher, as well as Naruto’s mentor. He heard a lot. But well, it was a bit difficult to not think about a certain jonin when you see a straight scar on the left eye.
“Now that you mention scar, it has a lot of it. But most of them are covered by the hair, so they must be ancient,” Shizune.
“Poor thing,” Gai pouted. “I wonder what happened to it for being in such a state.”
“I wonder more about how it is so resistant. It must be the most resilient bat known to science.”
Gai hummed in agreement. Iruka, on the other hand, gulped with difficulty. It was a coincidence of course but, listen, Iruka knew every Kakashi’s scar by heart. The big ones, like the tiny ones, and coincidentally , every scar of the bat matched Kakashi’s. Iruka couldn’t explain it.
“You’re awfully silent,” Shizune said, apparently over with the bat exam.
“Oh, sorry. I…”
“Don’t worry, it’s alright. It’s just…” she glanced at Gai, “I just wondered how you two were doing. With Kakashi’s… disappearance.”
Iruka didn’t know if he was about to answer some banalities — ‘doing just fine — or if he’d have poured his heart open, but he was stopped by the highest screech perceptible by humans. The three gathered around the bat with alarmed faces.
“What’s going on?” Shizune asked, as if the bat could answer or even comprehend her.
The bat stilled, and then decided to hold into Gai’s arm. Iruka was glad he wasn’t the victim of the bat tantrum this time.
“It’s really strange, how the bat just… snuggles humans,” Shizune observed.
“Yeah, and I’m usually its favourite plush. But so, do you have a solution to, like, make it go back into the forest? Or whatever it lives in?”
“Usually, this type of bat lives in packs. It must have lost its own.”
“Do you think we can help it go back?” wondered Iruka.
“I mean… it’s certainly doable.”
*
That’s how the most respected middle school teacher, the most extravagant jonin and the Hokage’s assistant found themselves in the middle of Konoha, circling around a bat who looked done . Iruka could swear the creature was judging them, and judging them hard .
“I feel like Tsunade and this bat would get along well,” Shizune said as they stepped outside of the village, greeting the guards by a hand sign. “It looks… gossipy. And up to feel higher than others.”
Iruka glared at the bat who flew far before going back to the humans, letting pleas, as if to complain they weren’t going fast enough. “It also looks like it hates paperwork for some reason.”
“That’s a very human way to see the bat,” Gai said, looking oh so happy to wander in the forest and help the creature.
Iruka wondered if a bat was a good enough reason to keep a chunin, a jonin and the very personal assistant of the Hokage from the village.
“Are we sure we’re not getting into a trap?” Iruka wondered out loud.
“I conscientiously examined the bat, and it’s not a summoning. I think it’s just a really clever animal.”
The road, whatever was their destination, went into small talk and exasperated cries from the bat. At some point, though, the bat stopped and Iruka almost bumped into it.
They arrived in front of a cave, which was rather logical for a bat to be in. Iruka wondered, yet again, why did they bother coming if the bat found its pairs by itself.
Two little bats exited the cave and Gai squealed. Iruka made a personal mission of offering Gai a bat for his birthday — he just had to check which village happened to sell some.
“Don’t bats live in huge groups?” Iruka asked.
“They do,” Shizune answered. “Maybe there’s more inside.”
“Then why would only these two exited?”
“Maybe it’s the bat’s children?”
Iruka hummed.
The three bats, not bothered by their remarks, sat on the ground and fixed them, pulling their tongues out in synchronisation.
“It is at it again,” Iruka sighed.
“Uh?”
“Well, when it first started to harass me, it was pulling its tongue out.”
“It did to me too,” Gai added.
The bat made an inhuman (and unbat) screech, which made Shizune squat in pain. “What in the godaime name was that!?”
The bat continued to glare at them, with its eyes almost growing bigger and their tongue out in synchronisation. It looked like a cult and made Iruka highly uncomfortable. Until now, it was all rather fun ; or annoying, but in a “it’ll be a good anecdote” kind of annoying, which equaled something funny. Here, in this instant, looking at these three animals looking at them like they were possessed, Iruka wanted to go back to the village.
But thanks godaime, Gai was here.
“Maybe we should…check their tongues? Maybe something is bothering them in their mouth?”
“I don’t have any of my tools,” Shizune pouted, now sitting on the floor. “Plus, we should be extra careful ; I don’t want to get bitten and get diseases.”
Gai already had his hands on one of the baby (?) bats. Iruka expected the parent bat to get extra protective of its offspring, but it instead only looked at Gai’s face.
“Oh,” Gai eventually said. “It has something written on its tongue.”
“Really? What?” Shizune asked.
“I’m not sure… that’s very pale and small.”
“Let me have a look,” Iruka said. Years of teaching built up his skill of being able to read anything of any size . “It’s… a transformation rune. A very powerful one.”
Shizune squinted and Gai examined the second child-bat: it was the same rune. Strangely enough, the adult bat let itself be manhandled and, without much surprise, the same rune was found on it.
“Could it be… humans turned into bats?” Shizune asked.
The bats started to chirp (as much as bats could do so). It’d explain a whole lot: the very human reaction of the bat, the way it reacted to everything that was said, or was bound to stay next to humans.
“There are three people who disappeared after the storm, right?” Gai said. “Two children and… Kakashi.”
Iruka closed his eyes. It all sounded too crazy. But the bat did have all the scars of Kakashi and the right place and now that we know it was certainly a human… Well, that’d be the most plausible option. But that was all too much to Iruka in one go.
Because if it wasn’t true, he didn’t want to dwell into it too much, because that would be too unfair. How many times did he see a shinobi, talking to a medic, with hope in their eyes when the doctor said their spouse, brother or mother would survive, only to see a destroyed soul the moment they’d die. How many times have one said they found their teammate alive only to come back with a corpse, death in the eye? You can’t fall too many times, otherwise you just give up on going back on your feet — and Iruka, well Iruka already bleed from everywhere and he wasn’t sure he could get up one more time.
He felt under water and Gai grasped him by the collar, just like you pull a drowning man.
“Hey, Iruka-sensei, do you need a minute?”
Yes. “No, it’s fine. I was… deep in thought.”
“There’s a lot to think about indeed, and only one way to be sure,” Shizune said. “We have to turn them back into humans. We’re going to need Tsunade, because that sounds like a powerful ninjutsu.”
*
“Where did you find those bats?” Tsunade whispered to herself as she examined their runes. It was more of a rhetoric question than anything, because they already explained their little adventure. Twice.
“Do you think you’d be able to turn them back, Hokage-sama?” Iruka asked, restless. There was an infime possibility that this bat was Kakashi, and he wanted to know.
“Of course.”
She got up and told them to get out, to give her space and peace. They then waited, Tonton alternating between sniffing everything in the hallway and napping at their feet. Some shinobis passed by, throwing glances and one of them even threw papers at Gai — apparently Gai, just like every jonin, thought that paperwork were irrelevant and therefore didn’t need to be filled with extreme care ; Iruka sometimes wished every jonin had to have mandatory desk session, maybe they’d be more careful.
Outbursts from different voices coming from the Hokage’s office announced the process was over. Iruka immediately stood up, but he stopped as soon as he moved, heart clenched. Of course he kept himself from hoping too much, but that didn’t stop him from hoping altogether ; he waited too long in the boredom of this hallway, no one could have stopped their mind to wander around the possibilities. He could enter the room and find Kakashi. He could enter the room and find a stranger.
Gai put his hand on his shoulder, flashing a white smile, “Come on Iruka. The sun is so bright today, don’t let mean storms cloud your brain. I’m personally sure it’s Kakashi here. Who else would have so much fun bothering you all night?”
Iruka chuckled at that. From Kakashi's own admission, bothering Iruka was his favourite hobby and that would explain why the bat decided to stick to Iruka.
Eventually, Iruka opened the door and the first thing he saw was Tsunade’s malcontent face. “Who told you you could enter? As far as I’m concerned, I invited none of you in, tss.”
Iruka stopped listening the moment he saw Kakashi. White, messy hair ; a red scarred eye showing a sharingan ; a tall, pale body covered in marks, scars and muscles ; a hand covering the lower half of his face (that would almost make Iruka’s eyes roll because really , Kakashi only hid his face for the sake of being mysterious) and the other covering his groin. That was Kakashi .
He barely registered the two other naked kids before he said, “You were a bat all this time?!”
“Sure was.”
Iruka stood here speechless. He wanted to jump into his husband’s arms, kiss all his face ; he wanted to cry because it was a dream, a whole dream, he was so relieved ; he wanted to scream, because he spent all this time feeling miserable when Kakashi was in fact not only very alive, but also only turned into a bat. Instead of doing any of those, he articulated:
“How?”
“That’s what I was trying to figure out when you three decided to erupt here,” Tsunade sighed. “We’re not sure, but it’d be an… after-effect of the storm, or sort of.”
Still naked like an infant, Kakashi relayed Tsunade, “One moment I was helping an old lady to hide from the storm, the very next I was caught in the winds — who were too powerful to be natural — and passed out. Then, I woke up and I had wings and an urge for insects. And I found these two baby bats.” He gestured at the two children. Iruka recognized them, from being students of one of his coworkers ; and just like every time he saw children, his soft teacher persona showed,
“Hi children,” he leaned down. “I’m sorry you have to spend so much time with this old man.” The children chuckled. “I’m sorry shinobis didn’t protect you better than this and you ended up in such an uncomfortable position. I’m really proud of you two.” The children smiled wide, though they looked tired to death.
“I’m going to contact the families and provide some food and clothes,” Shizune spoke. She took them by the hands, “You’ll see, I have plenty of candies here and also very good beds.” The two cheered, although Iruka didn’t know if they were more excited from the perspective of candies or of a good nap. “I’m really glad to see you there, Kakashi,” she smiled before exiting.
However, she opened the door not even thirty seconds later, “You owe me some money, by the way. For the equipment in the lab,” she offered a big, kind of fake, smile, before closing the door.
“Yeah, and you owe me some band-aid for your bite,” Gai added.
“I’m not going to start with what you owe me,” Iruka continued, “because I’ll be the one keeping you up all night.”
“Keeping you all night? That’s for sure something I—” Kakashi cut himself when the Hokage coughed.
“Please, refrain from that kind of comment in my presence, there are images I don’t want to have in mind. Plus Kakashi, I forbid you from any physical activity for a week at least. We don’t know how your transformation into a bat affected your body, or even your mind.”
Kakashi rolled his eyes, a way to say ‘I’m fine’, but his grave expression showed how much importance he gave to the Hokage’s words.
Tsunade got up, nodding, “I’m going to check on the children. As much as there are things to discuss, I think you both deserve some time together. Kakashi, I want you in my office by 9 am. Please , sleep tonight, you need it.”
“I won’t stay long either,” Gai said once Tsunade left. He caught Kakashi into a hug, “I’m just so glad to have you back.” He sniffed, “I missed you so much, mate, I missed you.” His voice cracked on the last words and neither Kakashi or Iruka thought about joking to lighten the mood. Gai was just as relieved as Iruka to find his best friend back, so everyone respected his silence and tears.
The moment of calm broke once Gai got into character again, fists in the air, “The moment Tsunade allows you to fight again, you bet I am going to beat your derrière, bat or not!”
“Abusing your weak friend, that’s really you. I’m going to kick your ass.”
“You bet. Just like you did last time.”
“I slipped this day.”
“Just like you slipped during the climbing bet?” Iruka intervened.
“No, this day birds attacked me,” Kakashi nodded, thoughtful.
“And you used this day as a template for my own attack?” Iruka asked.
“Yes.”
“I’m going to let you chip together,” Gai laughed. “Good to see you again,” he repeated before leaving.
Then, it was just Kakashi and Iruka, and the dilemma of what to do came again. Thankfully, Kakashi took the lead, letting his hands go and wrapping Iruka into a hug. Iruka sank in it. It felt so good, so lively, so right, to be hugged by Kakashi. Everything from this week pushed against his eyes and next thing he knew, he was ugly crying into his husband's arms.
“I missed you too,” Kakashi murmured, “though I know it’s nothing like you experimented. I’m sorry I didn’t come back to Konoha sooner. The storm brought us to a very lointain place and the kids needed a lot of breaks.”
“Always blaming someone else, I see,” Iruka managed to say between the sobs.
“I do, however, take full blame for messing with you last night.”
“I hope you do, asshole.”
“Ah, the moment we’re alone you insult me? I thought you’d take better care of your long missed husband.”
Iruka rubbed his face into his spouse’s shoulder instead of answering. “I was kind of a mess without you,” he confessed.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re not the one who has to be sorry. The person behind all of it however? Oh, they’ll be sorry.”
But for now, he didn’t want to think about whoever made his husband disappear, who thought all of this storm and transformation was a fun idea; he was in Kakashi’s arms, and that was all that mattered.
(But oh yes, he’ll make sure they’ll be sorry.)