Chapter Text
You know, there are people out there saying stuff like „at least he died doing what he loved“ and all that stuff.
Pretty sure being crushed by a bookshelf wasn’t what they had in mind though.
How does that even happen? Aren’t they secured or something?
It was a public library for fucks sake!
Either way, all I could do, lying there while trying to get air (Was I suffocating ? Drowned in books ?
Did I break some ribs into my lungs or something??) was painfully groan as I thought about how I was too young for this shit.
I had wanted to marry!To start a family! Sure, not the most ambitious dreams, but I wasn’t exactly an ambitious person either...
Well, at least it would make for a fun inscription on my headstone, I guess.
„They lived by the book and died by it“ or something like that.
Funnily enough, that was my last thought before I slipped into unconsciousness.
Or rather, I died.
And then I woke up .
....
What.
Maybe I was a bit dramatic, but I was pretty sure I was dying just now!
Did...did someone safe me?
Must have pumped me full with pain killers too considering I didn’t even feel anything anymore.
Trying to become somewhat lucid, I squinted into the dark.
Where was I? This didn’t look like any hospital room I’ve ever-
Out of nowhere I felt a big arm winding around me.
There was someone else in this fucking bed.
Slowly I turned to my right, feeling like someone to be Raptor-Chew in Jurassic Park.
Next to me was a behemoth of a man.
Like, I wasn’t exactly dainty but the man looked like he could shoot me into space with nothing but a seesaw.
Though to be fair, maybe that was just because he was so damn close .
He and his mustache.
I hated mustaches.
Anyway, looking at the giant stranger that seemed ready to roll onto me,
I did the only thing any sane adult would do.
I screamed like a fucking banshee.
The dark haired man startled up, jumping up much faster than one would expect.
Being freed of his arm, I too jumped, directly out of the bed.
There also was a sudden, bone piercing wailing.
Was...was that a baby?
Where the hell am I?!
The man had fought himself out of the bed, squinting his eyes at the room around us.
When he didn’t find any intruder or anything, he turned to me.
„What’s going on?Why did you scream like that, Honey-pie?“
Oh dear god, I got kidnapped by a madman with delusions!
„Eh, I...I had a nightmare!...dear?“
He blinked at me, clearly still half asleep.
„Nightmare?
„Yes?“
He fumbled for an alarm clock on the little side table, cursing loudly.
„What in the world, woman! It’s 3 am! I have to work today and you woke our boy too!“
„Ah!“ There still was a freaking baby in the house! Was it even his or did he kidnap it too??
„I’ll go and comfort our dear darling!“
Maybe that was a bit much, but he would probably expect me to guess the kids name otherwise.
Before he could answer, I pretty much ran into the direction of the wailing.
Which wasn’t hard with that volume, I tell you!That kid sure had a pretty big set of lungs!
The first thing I saw was that the nursery...was very flowery.
Which wasn’t in itself bad but the color choices gave me a headache already...
Reaching the little cot, I stared at a very much round baby.
For some reason the words „large pink beach ball“
forced their way into my head like a faraway memory.
What the hell? Why in the world would anyone fat shame a freaking baby?
Gently gripping the child, I settled him on my hip, slightly rocking him.
The kid actually quieted down to stare at me.
He...looked really confused actually?
What did his father(?) normally do when he cried to get that reaction?
„Hello little one.“ I said in my best gentle this-is-a-baby-voice,
which if I might say so, is a pretty good one.
„Did we wake you up,big boy? Don’t worry, I was just...a little startled.“
The answer was a gurgle, a strongly clinging hand and a little „Mommy!“
What.
Okay, the guy having delusions is one thing but if even the baby thinks- No no no no! It’s probably the only word he knows yet!
But what if this was a 50 first dates kind of situation?! What if I got brain damage from that damn bookcase and didn’t remember getting married and having a kid!?
I actually looked down on me, for the first time really looked.
Why was I so gaunt?
I looked like...well like I never did before to say the least.
No dammit, calm down! Let’s review the facts:
1. Time must have passed for me to loose that much weight.
2. Everything, from that ugly floral nightgown to the grandmotherly interior design, wasn’t something I would choose
3. That man had a fucking mustache. I didn’t have much requirements about a partners looks
but I would draw a line at having him grow a mustache. I couldn’t stand the thought of kissing someone with one to be exact.
4. This baby, blonde, blue-eyed and pink, did not look like me at all. I think. It’s kinda hard to tell with babies.
Said baby looked even more confused now, lips actually quivering. „Mommy?“
„It’s alright baby!M...Mommy is here!“
I changed my hold on him so his head would rest on my shoulder as I gently bounced him.
Poor thing was so confused.
If the guy really was a kidnapper, than he was real lucky I was such a sucker for kids!
„How is he doing, Petunia?“
I startled, only to turn around in what felt like slow-motion.
„What...did you just call me?“
He blinked before his eyes went round.
"Oh, I’m sorry honey-pie!I’m not angry or anything, I promise!“
He left the door-frame and as if to prove it, planted a big wet kiss on my cheek, frozen as I was,
before trying to do the same with the suddenly squirming bundle in my arms.
„Duddleykins“ a high pitched voice in my head echoed.
Oh.
„I better go back to bed, need to be well slept at work. After all, the drills won’t make themselves!“
Oh please no.
Hurriedly putting the kid, Dudley, back into his cot,
I let myself fall into the armchair next to it, trying so damn hard not to have a panic attack.
Then the memories came.
As if someone opened the flood gates, I was overwhelmed with fuzzy memories of parents that weren’t my own,
of a red-headed sister I never met but adored until I despised her, of a pale boy from the neighborhood,
of many desperate letters and of distancing myself from a family that wasn’t mine until I met a man named Vernon and dated him and-
„ No!“
Suppressing those invading memories until my head hurt,
I just about got it done not to remember what it was like to have... marital relations with Vernon Dursley.
If there was a god out there, then he must be a cruel creature indeed.
Wondering for a moment how nobody heard me,
I blindly looked around and happened to find a clock.
5 am.
Had I sat in this chair for two damn hours?
Guess that’s how memory...implanting??...works?
What the hell was going on?!