Chapter Text
The last thing Taehyung expected to happen on a Friday night at four in the morning was to wake up to his phone being blown up with dozens of texts and calls.
And the last thing he expected, aside from the rude awakening, was for the messages to have come from someone he hadn’t spoken to in a year and a handful of months.
Jeon Jungkook.
It felt like an eternity since Taehyung had last heard that name, when he knew that in reality it was simply because their shared friends avoided bringing him up when the omega was around.
Rightfully so.
Taehyung hadn’t exactly ended things on the best terms with Jungkook, although they weren’t entirely bad, it had likely been worse for him, because he’d never gotten a true answer to the last thing he’d asked the alpha.
Needless to say, it was just unexpected to wake up being contacted by someone after so long, asking for him to come over.
Normally, perhaps when he wasn’t so worried by all of the vague texts and calls asking him to come over as soon as he got them, he would have flat out refused.
Jungkook was not a road he wanted to walk down once more, but Taehyung knew he wouldn’t have contacted him without a good reason to do so after a year of radio silence.
So Taehyung tugged on a hoodie and drove halfway across town for this stupid alpha, wondering the entire time if this was one of his drunken charades or perhaps he’d mistaken his contact for someone else’s.
It seemed like the night was full of surprises, because the first thing Taehyung was greeted with when he approached the door to Jungkook’s home was all of the lights on in the house and the front door partially open.
It truly seemed like the night was full of curiosities.
The omega rubbed at his eye as he rang the doorbell, taking in a deep breath to urge himself not to be too angry with Jungkook for calling him after this long, but that seemed impossible.
There was a burning irritation swelling in his stomach, it was four in the morning after all, and there were plenty of other things he could be doing at this time - like sleeping, as a normal person tried to do this late!
However Taehyung wasn’t in the mood to do much more than get this meeting - or whatever it was - over with and simply waited for the door to be opened all the way.
The speed in which Jungkook answered the door was astronomical, before the doorbell was even finished with it's tri-toned ring he'd been yanking it open.
Jungkook looked exhausted. The bags beneath his eyes were dark and hollow, his usually well maintained hair was in disarray and that handsome, one side-dimpled grin that had always managed to make Taehyung beam with happiness was nowhere in sight.
What was in sight, however, was this teeny tiny, screaming little bundle of soft purple blankets in the alpha’s arm.
The omega in the doorway gasped under his breath, eyes flickering to Jungkook’s like a deer in the headlights. “- a baby?”
As if only then Jungkook was digesting that Taehyung was here, perhaps too exhausted to even recognize him at such an hour, with such little sleep, he blinked once before groaning aloud and crying, “Oh thank god. Holy shit, you’re the best.”
Taehyung brushed the phrase off, because if he knew one thing about Jungkook it was that he was a sweet talker, and he wasn’t here to be sweet-talked, he was here to apparently deal with this strange baby that was wailing.
“Is this… I mean,” Taehyung swallowed and stepped inside, immediately removing his shoes, “You've been busy, it seems.”
The alpha in front of him released an uncomfortable, nervous sounding laugh before clearing his throat and murmuring, “One night stand.”
As if that made Taehyung feel any better having come over ten miles just to find the man he’d been hopelessly in love with for three long years of his life with a baby.
So the omega simply clicked his tongue, expression tightening up as he replied, “I didn’t ask.”
Jungkook stared at him for a moment too long before nodding quickly and turning his attention to bouncing the baby wrapped up in blankets in his arms, “Of course no - I… I don’t know why I said that. Just wanted you to know that I… you know, it wasn’t…”
“You haven’t spoken to me in a year and this is what you have to say to me?” Taehyung literally cackled, because this was not the shit he wanted to deal with so fucking late, let alone at all.
It didn’t help that this baby was screaming it’s poor little head off, curling bright pink fingers over the side of the blanket and sobbing.
Both growing annoyed with the poor baby’s screams, and with the apology Jungkook was meeting his eyes with, Taehyung growled and put his arms out for the baby. “For fucksake, Jungkook. This poor baby is hoarse - how long has the baby been crying?”
Huffing, the omega nearly immediately began to pace the living room, walking around the alpha and cringing at the mess that was his house before taking a deep breath and looking down at the baby.
“I- that’s why I called you! Since, you know, you worked at a daycare for a while!”
Jungkook scattered to follow him, his woodsy scent attacking Taehyung’s nostrils in such a… painful, horrible way that reminded him how fucking much he loved that scent of trees.
Loved being the keyword, because Taehyung couldn’t afford to think like that, especially not right now.
“He.. he just won’t stop crying, Tae…” The alpha whispered, “And I only knew he existed a week ago! I’m not prepared for this! He was practically dumped at my work, just left there… please, I know I can’t ask you for anything, I don’t have the right to, but I really have to. Nobody else knows how to help and I just… he’s only a baby. Don’t help for me, help for Byul… I’m going to fuck this up without you.”
Taehyung gulped down his frustrations, because Jungkook sounded like he could burst into tears at any moment and that wasn’t a sight he could stand to deal with, because even though it had been over a year, the sight of him crying was still engraved and fresh in his mind.
He always hated to make people cry, but Jungkook… he just had a way of looking absolutely broken when crying, likely due to those huge, expressive puppy eyes of his.
It was a trait that Taehyung could see now, mirrored onto this little teeny tiny puppy in his arms.
If Taehyung had to guess, he’d say the baby was no older than a month, perhaps no younger than three weeks, but he was just so tiny, so scared and confused.
He had no idea what Jungkook had been doing with the poor thing for the past week, but the alpha was very obviously hopeless.
“You should’ve been prepared for this when you chose to sleep around,” The omega murmured, not even turning to Jungkook to see his reaction, because he knew it was likely a wince and this regret filled, scolded expression.
Instead, Taehyung cooed under his breath, tsking a few noises as he removed the blanket from the baby and looking him over. “He’s overheating, you idiot,” he added, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, “Huh? You poor thing, you’re all flushed and sweaty, hm?”
Taehyung placed the baby onto the couch, kneeling down to unbutton Byul’s soft blue, cloud patterned onesie, only to deadpan at how horrible of a job Jungkook had done at buttoning it - he’d skipped buttons and left so many gaps between them.
Now that, that just had to be uncomfortable, and right after Taehyung was about to scold Jungkook again, he found that wasn’t the only fuck up the alpha had done.
The sweet little baby’s diaper was backwards.
“You-“ Taehyung scrunched up his nose, taking a deep breath as he unraveled the diaper, “Oh, I know, honey. It must feel so much better now.” He decided to say, focusing on the baby and those tear-filled eyes that were slowly becoming less and less watery.
The baby stopped screaming as soon as Taehyung had pulled off his diaper and instead, simply whimpered as his tears simmered down.
Little fingers pressed to soft pink lips as the baby boy sniffled, bubbling with a few tears he had to squeeze out while Taehyung sighed and scooped the naked baby up to his chest. “I know, it was an accident, okay? Let’s give him one last chance, baby. If he’s still a dumb alpha, then we’ll just have to scream some sense into him, won't we?”
When Taehyung stood up to turn around, he jolted back a small bit because he hadn’t noticed the alpha hovering over him.
Jungkook didn’t seem to notice how close he was standing, he only sniffed, leaving his nostrils flaring - Taehyung had half a thought to think that he was taking in his scent, but knew that was much too far fetched a thought - and then whispered, “What… what was I doing wrong?”
“Everything.” The omega said, immediately regretting how harsh that sounded seeing as Jungkook flinched. “You’re hopeless, Jungkook,” Taehyung added truthfully, huffing as he shifted to plop down onto the couch, patting gently at the baby’s naked back. “You put his diaper on backwards and gave him a rash, not to mention that the onesie you put on was wrongly buttoned and too hot for him to sleep in. You’re…”
He trailed off, deciding to just roll his eyes and sink into the couch.
“No,” Jungkook said loudly, taking a spot on the other end of the couch and leaning onto his knees, enclosing his hands over his face as he mumbled, voice cracking, “I.. I don’t know what to do. I just.. I can’t even hold him right, I can’t be a fucking… parent. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can’t even… I don’t feel anything when I look at him, he cries and I feel bad, but I can’t help him and it’s just… I’m not cut out to be a parent. I can’t even have a good relationship without fucking ruining it, I can’t form a bond with a baby! God, should I… I should just look into adoption…”
Taehyung… froze.
Not because Jungkook was having a complete breakdown, but because it was something he’d never expected to hear from the normally confident, put together, alpha.
Jeon Jungkook giving up on something wasn’t in his nature. It just wasn’t. Jungkook was the kind of alpha that fought tooth and limb to prove himself, well, normally.
It seemed only two things made the alpha weak and too vulnerable to fix his wrongdoings: a baby and… Taehyung.
Considering it had been a year since then, Taehyung knew that he shouldn’t hold it against Jungkook, that he should move on and get over what their relationship was, but that was asking too much of him.
Even though it had been so long, Taehyung had never gotten the closure he’d wanted and needed, thus it left him feeling like he was in some sort of limbo when it came to putting his feelings into another person, nearly as if Jungkook wouldn’t let him, he wouldn’t give back those feelings he’d stolen from him.
Even though Taehyung had tried so, so hard to move on from them.
So there was a part of him that, although upset to know Jungkook had gone and slept around, understood, because he, too, tried to move on in so many different ways, on too many occasions.
But those mistakes did not define them, and Taehyung knew that Jungkook was better than this.
He couldn't just let him get rid of this baby without so much as even trying, because it was - after all - only a baby, practically a newborn, and his mother had already decided to go down that road and abandon him.
Abandoning this little boy, who was barely a few weeks old, could be Jungkook's ultimate mistake and something the alpha could never, ever take back.
Taehyung had to force him to put a little effort in, because he wouldn’t leave this baby feeling just as heartbroken by Jungkook as he had felt a year prior.
“… here,” The omega muttered, shifting to scoot onto the middle cushion and placing a hand on Jungkook's arm, forcing him to sit back.
The alpha, red eyed and sniffing back tears, made a confused sound, sitting back against the couch, “What-“
“There’s a sleepy baby here that wants to lay with his daddy,” Taehyung cooed as he lifted Byul off his chest, not looking at Jungkook as he did so, “That’s right, you’re a sleepy boy,” He mused when the puppy didn’t even so much as whine at being jostled about, only curling up his toes in the air.
“Let me teach you something in terms you can remember,” Taehyung said then, addressing Jungkook, as he leaned over to tug the alpha’s pajama top down a bit to expose more of his chest before placing Byul onto his skin, “When the baby cries, it’s for one of three reasons: dinner, discomfort, or daddy. If you just fed him, check his diaper, if it’s not that, check his temperature. And if he stops crying when you hold him,” Taehyung smiled to himself, reaching over to move Jungkook’s palm onto the baby’s bottom to hold Byul more carefully, “Then it's just that he wants daddy.”
Jungkook was staring down at his chest, large hand nearly encasing the pup’s entire naked body as he swallowed hard and then looked up at Taehyung before whispering, “This is the first time he’s been silent in two days.”
Ouch. That poor baby’s throat must hurt so much.
Taehyung felt like he’d rubbed enough salt in Jungkook’s wound for the day though, so he simply hummed and tiredly slumped into the cushions to close his eyes, if only for a moment, before smacking his lips and bringing a palm to rub his face and standing up.
“I have to finish editing some boring, rich person's biography by Monday,” He began, “I need to go home and-“
“Taehyung.”
The omega sighed, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at the couch, “I really do have to finish some work, Jungkook.”
Jungkook nodded, lips pressed together in a flat line before hesitantly, as stiff as a board - scared he’d disturb Byul - sat up, “Can you… you help me, with him?”
“I don’t know, Jungkook, I don’t know what you mean. You have other friends who could help - I mean, this is your baby, this should be your-“
“I’m scared I can’t do this without your help.” The alpha pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes as he cried, begging, “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for what I did to you, but… you’re the only person I trust with him. I swear I’ll never ask you for anything more, just… teach me how to take care of him? I can't fuck this up. I-I told myself I wouldn’t give up on good things. Not anymore. Not after.. us.”
How in the world did Jungkook expect him to react to that?
It was more of a confession than the alpha had ever thought to say to him a year ago when Taehyung had up and left. It was Jungkook recognizing what he’d done as a mistake after over a year.
So how did Taehyung feel?
He was angry, rightfully so, Taehyung waited over a fucking year to here this half-assed acknowledgment that he had been a good thing in Jungkook’s life and that the alpha had ruined it.
But, it also made him feel horrible, because he knew this wasn’t Jungkook thinking clearly - this was an alpha who was high on self-hatred, exhausted beyond belief, and relieved to not have a baby’s screams breaking his ear drums.
Although this wasn’t Taehyung’s problem, and although he knew he could turn around and walk out at any moment, the omega felt responsible for Jungkook's next actions should he just walk out on him like this.
To just walk out on him again.
Taehyung already dealt with a year of regret since he’d last walked out on Jungkook, he couldn't look at him in those tear-filled, pleading eyes again and find the courage to leave.
All his hard work trying to get over Jungkook for the past year and five months was completely shattered, because his expression right now was hauntingly similar to the look he’d had when Taehyung dragged his last suitcase out of this very house a year ago.
“I’m taking the bed,” Taehyung said firmly, tearing his eyes away from Jungkook's, “And I have to go home and get my laptop for work first thing. And you better start thinking about getting this poor baby some toys and a fucking crib - where has he even been sleeping? I know for a fact there’s no way you cleaned out that dusty old office of yours in the week you’ve had him.”
Jungkook’s eyes filled with some smidge of hope as he raised his head, quickly answering, “He doesn’t really sleep unless I hold him.”
Groaning, Taehyung turned to walk towards the hallway, “Dear god… okay, first - sleep. Later, go to the store and get him a crib, I’ll be back around the same time as you-“
“I… I don’t have a car seat…”
“How in the world did you get him here from your work?” Taehyung cried, huffing, he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose before taking a breath and shaking his head, “I’ll pick up a fucking crib on my way, but your ass is going out to the store to get him some supplies the second I get back, I’m going to text you a list of basic things and we can go to the store for more after he gets a room set up…”
The omega turned to start down the hall, only to hear Jungkook's quiet reply of, “I owe you. I owe you so much, Tae.”
That brought an actual smile onto Taehyung’s face who then backtracked a few feet to peer around the corner and smirked as he replied, “Oh, I forgot to teach you how to put a diaper on him, didn't I? Try not to let him peeing on you bother you. Goodnight.”
“Kim Taehyung! Seriously? Tae, come on…”
***
Jungkook and Taehyung had met in college, their last year in college.
Taehyung had been friends with their mutual friend Jimin, whose was a bit of an eccentric beta, but one that thought they’d make just the cutest pair with their shared love of action movies, writing, and they were, quote, “fucking weirdos who deserved each other,” whatever the hell that meant.
However, Jimin had been right. As he usually was.
For three whole years they’d been such a loving couple, that couple that sat so close to each other at cafes that it made other people envy that look in their eyes. That gooey eyed couple that left love notes on the fridge so the other felt loved when they got up, because they did love each other.
It was a pure, genuine love. Something that neither Taehyung nor Jungkook ever denied having for one another, and something neither had felt before.
The issues only began to arise around year two, when Jungkook had gotten a position at a journalism firm and began to spend more and more time at his desk, rather than in bed beside Taehyung.
“He’s just a workaholic,” Taehyung used to reason in Jungkook’s defense, because he’d been too in love with him to ever think of his passion as a bad thing.
But being a workaholic did not excuse him from his duties as a boyfriend, lover, or… a potential mate.
Taehyung had wanted to be life partners with Jungkook - that was something so much more than just lovers or even marriage. He’d wanted to have the ability to show off the bite in his neck that would match Jungkook's own and introduce himself as Taehyung, Jungkook's mate, rather than “boyfriend” that was growing to sound more and more childish as months passed.
Things never got that far.
The day that Taehyung was going to ask Jungkook about it had been their third anniversary; the omega had set up the most romantic dinner, made steaks and bought wine to celebrate because it was Jungkook's favorite.
The alpha had even promised he’d be back early that morning and said that he had a gift for him that Taehyung was just going to die for.
Taehyung never got to see that gift, because Jungkook never got to see the romantic dinner, the expensive wine, or how much effort his omega had put into his outfit.
As soon as the clock struck two in the morning and Jungkook still hadn’t come home from work, Taehyung knew that was it.
He poured that wine down the drain, tossed those steaks into Tupperware containers, left his expensive clothing laying on the floor, and placed one last note on the side table in their room, but it wasn’t a love note.
Not this time.
It was a simple question - me or your job.
The way Jungkook had never replied was answer enough.
Taehyung was packed up within a day, and the way that Jungkook had cried, but stayed silent by the door, was more heartbreaking than when the alpha had tried to hold him when he got home and whispered endless apologies as Taehyung pretended to sleep, or how he hadn’t gotten the message and kissed the omega’s hair when he got up to shower the next morning.
It was as if Jungkook had been in denial, because he didn’t even try to speak about the note, he said nothing, he only burst into tears when he saw Taehyung packing his trunk with his things.
It was unfortunate that Jungkook believed if he ignored his mistakes that they would just go away, because should he have simply said something to Taehyung, anything - even if it was to explain why he was working so much - then the omega would have stayed.
Fate, it seemed, just had a way with making people deal with their problems, because a baby was not a mistake that would just go away no matter how much Jungkook wished for it to.
That being said, it was clear that Jungkook was trying his best to learn.
The second Taehyung stepped into the house the next morning he'd been there, already holding his keys and looking at the list the omega had sent him.
The only exchange between them had been a rather nervous smile on Jungkook's part before he ran out to his car with a mumble that Byul was still sleeping.
And the baby had been sleeping, the poor boy had to be exhausted because he’d been wrapped in a blanket and placed on the blanket covered floor surrounded by a makeshift wall of pillows, a hand in his mouth and little body curled up comfortably.
Taehyung found the sight rather impressive, because he hadn’t expected Jungkook to even think to set up little barriers.
That was until he realized the alpha had completely ditched him with the pee-soaked baby.
Yeah, Taehyung was not happy with that, but he was glad Jungkook hadn’t tried to do something stupid like give the baby a bath in the tub.
Byul was much too small and young for that.
So, instead of getting to work on the crib that Taehyung had picked up - a rather awkward exchange when the cashier had congratulated him on his baby - he’d been forced into finding a decent sized bowl to use as a makeshift tub, until he could get Jungkook to buy a baby bath, and cleaned him up.
And that was exactly what the alpha came back to, Taehyung roaming the house with a towel-wrapped baby looking for any clothes.
Thank god it looked like Jungkook had taken anything and everything off of the newborn wracks with all the bags in his hands.
“There we are, let’s get you nice and warm, baby,” Taehyung cried, giving the baby a playful bounce and completely ignoring Jungkook’s existence as he snatched up a bag.
“I… do you want to see what I got?”
“Daddy should be cleaning out your room, huh, Byullie?” The omega chimed as he placed the baby onto the couch so he could dump out the outfits, “And he should give Taehyungie the box of diapers, shouldn’t he? Yes he should.”
“Are you… are you ignoring me yet also replying with baby talk? What in the world…”
Taehyung didn’t reply this time, too busy pulling the tag off of a cute and simple, short sleeved bodysuit with a hedgehog on it.
(Ideally, he’d run these through the wash for a good scrub before daring to put them on the baby, but given the fact that Byul had zero things - not even a built crib - and that he’d get cold without Taehyung’s warmth, he needed to get this baby dressed before working on his crib.)
Jungkook shifted to take a seat beside Byul, nearly like he was simply trying to get Taehyung’s attention as he put a diaper down and then looked down at the baby - more like stared down at him like he was still having a hard time digesting it.
“Was he good? I… I mean I swear I made sure he was okay to lay there and then-“
“Shut your face,” Taehyung said, shifting to begin unraveling Byul’s towel, “Lesson one: diapers. This one is easy, okay? It’s not too hard, you can do it.”
Jungkook's eyes went wide and he quickly pressed his lips together and looked down to watch.
“Hi! Hello!” Taehyung laughed when Byul startled, probably trying to go back to sleep seeing as he’d slept through the entire bath up until the omega was wrapping him up, “Yes, I’m still here bothering you, I’m sorry.” He snorted to himself and then slipped the towel out from his bottom, “I know, I’m going to annoy you a bit more and then I promise we’ll get your belly full, baby.”
The omega nearly forgot that he was supposed to be explaining until he’d already slipped the back of the diaper under his bottom, but quickly remembered and flickered his eyes to look at Jungkook, “Okay so-“
Taehyung paused, swallowing hard when he noticed that Jungkook was staring at him rather than at what he was doing.
They looked at each other for a moment much too long before Taehyung jerked away and looked back down, “Are you paying attention?”
“I-of course. I always pay attention when you talk.”
That was a bit overkill, but Taehyung ignored it in favor of nodding and licking his lips, “Okay. So you can tell which is the front of the diaper because the front has a picture on it - see, these little superheroes at the bottom here?” He pointed a finger to the diaper and then began to tug the tapes, “You want to place these tight, but not too tight, okay? Give him a bit of room, about two fingers around the waist. And then done, that's it! Yay!”
Taehyung took Byul’s little feet and pressed them together playfully, “All done! It’s easy peasy! Tell daddy!”
The baby, in response, simply placed tiny fingers on his eyes and began to make a soft, whiny noise.
The poor thing was probably starving, and Taehyung hoped to god that Jungkook had at least read the instructions on the formula tub before trying to feed the baby the past week.
“Okay, now you put this on him,” Taehyung ordered, tossing the outfit into Jungkook's lap before adding, teasingly and patting his arm, “There’s only three buttons, you can’t really fuck it up, hotshot.”
Jungkook's ears turned bright red as he groaned and scooted over to take the omega’s spot, “In my defense, I got maybe three hours of sleep that entire week.”
Humming, Taehyung dug around in the kitchen for a second before finding a single, butterfly printed bottle in the dishwasher and pulling it out, pretending he didn’t see all the formula spilled on the counter as he opened up the tub.
“Tae, I know you probably don’t care, but I really am… so thankful that you’re doing this…” Jungkook began, “I already took a three month leave off work to figure things out, practically all of my saved vacation hours and paternity leave but I just… I have to see how things go, I don’t know if I’m capable of all of this..”
The omega sighed, pressing his lips together for a moment seeing as Jungkook could only see his back as he filled up the bottle with the filtered fridge water.
He knew that the alpha would express more worries, but Jungkook had hardly even tried, yet spoke like he’s already made his choice and wanted to give Byul up.
Taehyung didn’t know what kind of guilt Jungkook, and likely he, himself, would have to live with if he let that happen.
“So why did you call me?” Taehyung spun around to ask, shaking up the bottle, “You could have called Jimin, I know he still talks to you - always does this awkward pause when telling me stories then goes, “uh, my friend.””
Jungkook looked at him as he stood up before chuckling under his breath, “I thought I was the only one he did that to.”
Rolling his eyes at the thought of the annoying beta, Taehyung turned to place the bottle in the microwave for a moment before commenting, “You’ll have to get a bottle warmer soon, it’s just… better for him.”
He heard Jungkook reply with a murmured, “Mhm,” a habit that the alpha did even back when they were together, always humming his responses to things he felt didn’t need a reply.
Jungkook, however, did seem to have more to say as he carried Byul into the kitchen, “I called you because, like I said, I trust you and you’re the only omega I know…”
“So only omegas know how to take care of babies?” Taehyung raised a brow.
The alpha promptly choked, practically going pale as he shook his head, “No! Taehyung, I didn’t.. that’s not-“
Snickering once before a grinning Taehyung rolled his eyes at him and reached out for Byul, looking up at Jungkook as he mused. “I’m totally fucking with you.”
Jungkook deflated like a popped balloon, groaning as he slumped against the island, “Your humor is the worst.”
“You used to love it,” The omega shot back, holding Byul up under his arms to look at him and cooed, “Daddy used to love when uncle messed with him! Huh? Is that funny?”
Byul began to coo, not quite a laugh because he was nowhere near old enough, but he cooed and gave these big eyes as he curled fingers up towards Taehyung.
“Uh - let’s… let’s not with that…”
Taehyung raised a brow, turning around to look at Jungkook confused, watching the alpha remove the bottle from the microwave as he pet Byul’s head, “What?”
“With the… uncle,” Jungkook muttered, placing the bottle on the counter between them with an audible sigh before he, tentatively, reached over to pet slobber off Byul’s chin.
(But if his fingers brushed Taehyung’s jaw in the process, well, neither of them said anything.)
“I don’t… like the sound of that, not when it has to do with you.”
“Am I… should I be offended or…” Taehyung trailed off, taking his lip between his teeth.
Jungkook frowned, placing his hands flat on the counter and leaning over just a small bit to reply, expression serious, “No, no I…” He paused, tilting his head in thought, before saying, “It’s just that I’ve only ever considered this once before, you know, this parenting thing with… well,” He pressed his lips together and then turned around, “You know. Anyway, I’m going to start on cleaning up his room.”
Taehyung shuffled in place, heart beginning to pick up as he felt tears well in his eyes and he, very quickly, came around the counter with an angry expression.
“How dare you say that.” The omega cried, “How dare you say that and then walk away like that, Jungkook! Why… why didn’t you ever tell me that? Why now?”
The alpha stopped, shoulders stiffening up and meeting his ears before he spun around, hands coming to his sides as he locked eyes with Taehyung’s own that were spilling over with tears.
“You always make me cry so easily,” Taehyung sniffed, wiping his nose on the back of his hand before turning to the baby in his opposite arm and laying his head against Byul’s soft head of curls. “What right do you have to do this to me again?”
“I really… guess I don’t have one,” Jungkook stated, tone quiet and incredibly regretful, “I never mean to make you cry, Taehyung. You know I hate making you cry. Even when they’re happy tears I never feel good about them… I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for.. so much. I’m sorry for mentioning everything so late. I’m sorry for treating you as if you were disposable and still expecting you to stay with me, but… loving you was the best thing I’ve ever done, and losing you was my worst mistake, so excuse what I say - write it off - leave again if you want. But when I look at you, I miss you, and that’s the truth. I can’t lie to you, so I’ll try to keep it to a minimum, but please, just stay. For Byul at least.”
Byul decided then, before Taehyung could reply, that it was a good time to scream his head off.
Taehyung couldn’t be more grateful for that.
***
Byul’s room turned out wonderful, but it was clear Jungkook had zero idea how to deal with a baby’s room.
The alpha was pretty good at decorating, his house was a good example of that the way Jungkook made sure the black couch was complimented nicely by soft purple throw pillows and the white side tables.
Yet, Byul’s room looked like a visual representation of how uncertain all of this was to Jungkook.
It was bare, no art on the walls, no rug on the wooden floor, and no changing table, shelves, or toys. Nothing but the white crib that Taehyung had hand-picked and a star-patterned car seat sitting by the door.
And it wasn’t because Jungkook didn’t care, or that the alpha didn’t want to spend all the money getting Byul set up, it was just that everything was overwhelming.
Taehyung tried to gently hint at him to begin decorating, but Jungkook clamped up every time and dropped his head like he was ashamed, yet the omega would see him later on looking at children’s things.
It seemed that Jungkook just couldn’t handle too much right this second and Taehyung understood that, he understood that he was in a difficult situation.
Still, Taehyung didn’t see any harm in himself buying Byul some things.
He was tired of just sitting around and looking at blank yellow walls when he walked into Byul’s room to put him to bed.
Plus, Taehyung certainly didn’t mind spending money on Byul, the baby was just so sweet and thus far his life hadn’t been too good seeing as his mother had given up on him after a mere month and Jungkook was… frankly, not even sure that he’d keep Byul.
Not that Byul understood any of that - he was just happy so long as he got a diaper change, milk, and lots of love.
Taehyung was willing to give him that.
Someone had to and he was worried whether Jungkook was beginning to form a bond with Byul or not, because Taehyung certainly was.
And if this baby got sent away and he never got to see Byul again, then Taehyung would never be able to look at Jungkook the same for giving up on Byul just as easily as he’d given up on their relationship.
At least this - decorating Byul’s room - gave him another thing to focus on other than actively avoiding being alone with Jungkook.
After their conversation yesterday, Taehyung was more than happy to have something else to focus on other than worrying over meeting Jungkook’s eyes after he’d confessed such things.
Taehyung tried to tell himself he was staying for Byul, like Jungkook had pleaded, but it was the worst lie he’d ever tried to fool himself into believing.
“I brought presents!” Taehyung cried, stepping into the house.
He felt eyes immediately begin to burn into his temple when he stepped into the living room, but he bypassed them without so much as a glance to rush to the baby that was laying on his belly utop a blanket.
It was good to see that Jungkook had actually been letting the baby get some belly time in, because Taehyung usually arrived much earlier than this and hadn’t seen Jungkook lay him down for the exercise before.
“I know I’m late, but I had to clean these toys for my Byullie.” Taehyung cooed, scooping Byul up and discreetly - he didn’t want to give Jungkook the idea that he didn’t trust him to take care of Byul - checking the baby’s diaper with a soft pat.
Byul seemed all good though, his diaper was on properly, a soft pink flower top on his little body, and his eyes were big and shining as he squealed while he made grabby hands for Taehyung’s face.
“I know, I know,” Taehyung crooned, bringing him into his left arm and pressing a kiss onto his hair, “I missed you too, bubba. Were you fussy? You sound a little hoarse, sweet boy.”
“Screamed all night. As usual. I swear he just knows when you leave and starts screaming when he knows it’s just me and I can’t help him.”
The omega pressed his lips together at the comment, turning to spare Jungkook a glance only to find the alpha looking down and rubbing his face like he was incredibly tired.
Taehyung didn’t doubt that he was exhausted.
“Well, hopefully this can help,” Taehyung muttered, reaching over to dig through his backpack that was on the floor and pulling out a soft green, small brontosaurus plush that had rainbow scales lining it's back.
Taehyung was going to decorate Byul’s room space themed - he’d already picked up these tiny planet pictures to hang up - but this little toy was just too cute to pass up.
“Look at this, baby star,” The omega crooned, wiggling the toy at the baby, “It’s a dinosaur! Grr, so scary!”
He brought the toy down to gently tap it against Byul’s button nose and the baby’s eyes went even bigger, if possible, as he stuck his tongue out when he opened his mouth - Taehyung took that as his attempt at smiling, because the little coo he did with it seemed rather happy.
“This one is yours, Byul, your very first stuffed animal.” Taehyung grinned, accomplished, “And your daddy should get you many, many more, huh? Yes he should! And put lots and lots of toys in your room!”
Byul seemed happy, so Taehyung couldn’t help feeling happy watching the baby wrap his arms and legs around the toy when he placed it on his tummy.
Then, quietly, Taehyung heard the couch creak and turned to look at Jungkook who was now walking over towards his laptop on the island counter. “Do you think it would be cute if his room was star themed? You know, because of his name?”
A small smile pulled at the corner of his lips as Taehyung glanced back down at Byul and rubbed his puff of hair, replying, “I think it’s perfect for this little star.”
***
“You’re still editing from home?”
Taehyung hummed, shifting to close his laptop before raising his head to look at Jungkook - more specifically at the doe-eyed, Cookie Monster dressed baby in his arms.
“Somebody woke up from their nap. Hello, munchkin! I’ve been here an hour and this silly baby star just wants to sleep all day long!” The omega cried, earning a big, opened mouth, gummy grin.
For the past week and a half, Taehyung had been going back and forth from his place. He spent from noon to six at Jungkook's, leaving as quickly as he could once Byul went to sleep, which was pretty fast.
Byul was a very sleepy boy and seeing as he slept about seventeen hours a day, a healthy amount, it was fairly easy for Taehyung to skim by without having to risk being caught alone by Jungkook.
After what occurred a week ago, he’d much rather try to keep their conversations to a minimum, because the truth was that the thought of looking Jungkook in the eye and convincing himself that he didn’t still have feelings for the other was entirely too scary.
Taehyung was terrible at lying. He’d always been.
Even when their anniversaries or Jungkook's birthday came up he’d always get himself in trouble for being unable to lie to him.
Wanting to be truthful sort of just came with the package that was being in love.
Therefore, Taehyung had no idea how to fool Jungkook into believing there was absolutely nothing left between them when he couldn't even fool himself.
“I think he’s beginning to miss you.”
Taehyung frowned, looking at Jungkook confused as he accepted the baby in his lap, “What was that?”
“Byul,” Jungkook murmured, running a hand through his hair as he took a seat beside him on the couch - a bit too close in Taehyung’s very weary opinion - “I think he’s recognizing your face. At about two in the morning last night he started crying. I tried all of your tricks; a bottle, new diaper, I even tried entertaining him with a rattle and let him lay in my chest, nothing worked. He just kept raising his head and looking around for something.”
Taehyung would be a liar not to take some sort of pride in knowing such a thing, he couldn't even hide his happiness on his face seeing as a smile tugged at his lips.
He laughed and shifted Byul to sit facing him, little head held up by Taehyung’s palm as the omega grinned and took to petting the baby’s fingers.
“Did you miss me, baby? I missed you too! You sweet boy, don’t miss me too much, okay? You’ll give your daddy a hard time.”
“He likes you more than he likes me.”
Taehyung rolled his eyes, tsking as he fixed the baby into the crook of his arm once more, patting a hand on his belly. “He does not. Don’t be dramatic, you’re still learning.”
“No, really,” Jungkook cracked a smile and reached over to tweak Byul’s toes through his onesie, “Look! He’s grinning! Look at that smug little grin, tsk.. don’t get too comfy, you little menace. I know the real you.”
Nose scrunching up, Taehyung gawked and laughed loudly as he smacked the alpha’s arm. “Oh my god, stop! Aish, don’t be mean to him.”
“He’s like a gremlin! All cute and cuddly like Gizmo and then as soon as you leave he turns into a full blown gremlin like Stripe!”
The omega shook with laughter, gawking at his audacity and smacking at Jungkook's shoulder as he screamed, “Hey! That’s your baby you’re talking about! Oh god, you’re horrible!”
“No, no…” Jungkook trailed off as he laughed, catching Taehyung’s smacking hand and shooing it away, “Nah, he’s pretty cute. A gremlin, but cute.”
Taehyung could agree to that.
Byul was cute. Very cute.
Even though Taehyung loved kids he would agree to the fact that most babies weren’t cute until a couple of months, but Byul was always cute.
Even when he'd first seen him and the poor boy had raw eyes and this angry little teary face, he’d still been the cutest thing.
Byul just seemed to get cuter every single day with those rosy cheeks that were growing to be chubbier, his fluff of black curls that were becoming thicker, and the cute smiles he was mastering at such a young age.
Taehyung could even see the beginnings of a dimple beginning to settle into his left cheek.
“He looks like you so much,” Taehyung whispered, a soft smile placed on his lips as he ran his thumb over the baby’s cheek, instantly Byul tried to take that finger as his binky and Taehyung allowed it with a quiet laugh.
“God, he really does,” Jungkook chuckled, holding up his head and leaning down to look at the baby, “My mom’s going to kill me.”
“You haven’t told her?” Taehyung gasped, looking at him with a slightly disappointed expression, “But you talk to her everyday, well… you used to-“
“Yeah.” Jungkook’s lips pressed together in a flat line and he sighed as he reached over to offer Byul his finger, “A lot changed in a year. We don’t talk much these days, we haven’t in a while. Sort of had a falling out.”
Taehyung twisted his lips as he glanced down at Byul when his finger was released because it seemed the baby had much more of a liking for playing with Jungkook's hand.
It was impossible for the baby to wrap a hand around even a single finger, but his attempt was cute as he used both hands to try and shove Jungkook's finger into his mouth.
“… it was about me, right? That’s why you aren’t telling me about it.”
“God, Tae.” Jungkook began, turning his body towards the omega more, “I made a lot of fucking mistakes, alright? But… you were the best thing, and the only person I could call to talk to about it was her and it… it just sucks to be constantly reminded that it was my fault. She loved you. Of course she loves me too but she’s my mom and parents are there to remind you when you fuckup, I know, but… I just got too low to deal with it. I just stopped talking to everyone, buried myself further in my work and I know that’s the last thing you’d want me to do, but I was too ashamed to call you and say I’d promise to do better because I didn’t want to risk disappointing you, I still don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Jungkook…”
The alpha shook his head, keeping his eyes down on Byul, “And here I am - disappointing everyone. I can’t even remember what his mother looks like, that’s how pathetic I am. I probably couldn’t even recognize them in a lineup, because I’d just get drunk and bring people over. So no, I don’t know how to call her and tell her I’ve fucked up this bad. I… I spent a week trying to convince myself to call you. And I’m… fucking horrible for bringing you into it, rubbing this in your face because…” Jungkook's voice cracked and he swallowed hard as he lifted his head, “I wish Byul was ours. And he’s not. I made a big mistake, Taehyung.”
Taehyung tensed up, eyes flickering to look around Jungkook's face in fear that he’d begin to cry, but the alpha wasn’t crying.
He was simply basking in his own guilt and ashamed of himself.
While Taehyung couldn't deny that he was disappointed to know that Jungkook had slept around, that he’d stopped talking to his mother, and that he’d planned to work himself to death - the entire reason they’d split up in the first place - he was sure of one thing and one thing only.
“Hey,” Taehyung muttered, reaching over to squeeze Jungkook's wrist, “Byul is not a mistake.”
The omega shifted to scoop the baby up beneath his arms, letting little feet stand on his knees as he held the baby up beside his own cheek and forced Jungkook to see Byul.
“Look at him. He’s healthy. He’s happy. He loves you. That’s a lot more than some people get, you know that?” Taehyung whispered, tone serious and firm, “He's not a mistake. Maybe he was unplanned. Maybe you weren’t thinking straight at the time, but Byul is here now and you’re a good alpha, I know you are, and you’re going to take good care of him. You’re going to love him. Hell, I love him, Jungkook. How can someone you love be a mistake?”
Jungkook cracked. His entire demeanor shifted as he released a quiet sob and reached over for the baby.
Taehyung didn’t know if Jungkook loved Byul. Maybe it was too soon for him to have felt that bond.
But he knew that Jungkook would, because the alpha truly had the kindest, softest heart. He was only a little confused right now and scared.
That was to be expected, Jungkook had just had his life completely ripped off of its track a little over two weeks ago.
It didn’t mean he couldn’t fix the track and reroute the course. That was why railroads had switchstands after all, to change tracks.
Everyone was thrown off of their tracks every once in a while, it just so happened that Jungkook was vulnerable to unexpected circumstances.
“When I look at Byul, I only see you,” Taehyung whispered, laying a hand utop of Jungkook's on the back of Byul’s head, “So don't ever worry about disappointing me, okay? As far as I’m concerned, Byul is yours and that makes me love him more than anyone or anything else in this world.”
Jungkook's eyes shot up from where he’d been hiding behind the baby’s head, tears streaming down his face as he whispered, voice aching, “Sa-Say it again.”
“What?” Taehyung worried, reaching over to pet Jungkook's hair from his eyes, “Say what?”
“All of it.” Jungkook sobbed, huddling Byul to his chest as he moved to lean his forehead onto Taehyung’s shoulder, “A-All of it. I need to hear it again. Please.”
“Whatever you want, sweetheart.”