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Your husband, Anakin, sat a couple feet away from you in a pristine, pearly white stool. He tinkered with old war droids in the hopes of repairing them and reprogramming them into becoming training bots for Padawans who had just received their lightsaber. But while he tinkered with those droids, you were left to your own devices.
And so, your mind took you down into the deepest parts of your memories; of the things you’d rather have forgotten. Things like the war, the wars scars on your knees and arms, the attack on the temple that cost the Jedi so many comrades. So many younglings. Once all of it was done and over, you still remember seeing Shaak Ti sobbing and trying to dry her tears to look strong in front of the Council一Or what had remained of the Jedi Council. Which was just Yoda, Windu, Kenobi and herself.
You couldn’t believe Anakin when he told you that Palpatine was a Sith. But he didn’t have to do enough to convince you more as you saw what he had done to Master Windu. The way Anakin cried into your arms would do much to fuel your anger and disgust towards Palpatine, or now as he was known as Sidious. Even now, in the peaceful present, you could still recount all and everything Anakin choked out, holding you tight and holding you like you were going to melt away if he let you go.
‘Why did he use me?’ He asked you rhetorically. You couldn’t come up with an answer.
All you could do is hug and kiss his tears away, letting Anakin’s hands squeeze you for comfort. He didn’t need an answer; he just needed your love and your fingers grazing his temple as your moved his curls out of his face.
In the few hours after Palpatine’s betrayal, Order 66 began. You felt yourself tremble when you reminded yourself of the first younglings who screamed and cried. You then remembered how Anakin almost died at the hands of the clones he valued so closely as his brothers, narrowly avoiding shot after shot.
Your mind would’ve dug deeper until you felt Anakin’s flesh hand gently rub your shoulder. You opened your eyes to see Anakin had moved from his work station to right in front of you, his eyes kind yet tired and his pretty curls framing his face in a way that you couldn’t describe as any other way than ‘kissable’ and ‘lovable’.
“Hey” Anakin started, a tiny reassuring smile on him, “You doing okay?”
“Yeah. Why do you ask?”
“You think really loud.”
“Oh” you said, sounding a little embarrassed. But despite your short and dumb sounding response, Anakin kept his smile and sat next to you on the shared couch. He always smiled at you as a way to reassure you about things, but he always smiled at you even before the war began. As Padawans, he would smile at your poor attempt at jokes to impress him.
“Well…” you began again, “I’m just remembering things that happen.”
“Yeah”?
“Yeah. It’s not the most pleasant but it’s just hard to forget that stuff.”
get what you mean.” Anakin started with a soft voice. A voice he only used when he wanted to comfort you. It seemed nowadays he always used that voice. You let out a shaky breath, feeling Anakin’s arm wrap itself around you. His arm brought you into a tight yet gentle embrace, his tiredness being replaced with worry.
“Anakin don’t worry—“
“How can I not? After what we both experienced it’s—it’s not right. None of it was.” He seemed to be remembering what happened as well. You did not want him to remember what happened. You couldn’t bare to see how pained Anakin’s expression got everytime he remembered that night.
“Ani…” You were too worried about Anakin to notice the little quiver in your voice.
“Hey. Hey, no. No tears.” He cooed at you, putting both hands on your cheeks, letting his thumbs brush off tears you didn’t even notice nor felt forming on your eyes. You sighed and pressed an adoring kiss to his palm—telling him it was okay, it was fine. You were just emotional.
The two of you soon positioned yourselves into a more comfortable position; you on his chest, him laying back on the comfy couch. You could honestly stay with him like this forever. This remembered you all too much of the two nights after the beginning of the Clone Wars, when you were horrified at the fact that Anakin had lost his hand to Count Dooku…
‘Anakin!’ You called and rushed into his open dorm, seeing a young Skywalker sitting on his bed as he tinkered with some small medical droid. The door closed behind you as Anakin looked up. You could see the tired, the hurt and the pain in his what would be his confident blue eyes.
“You’re…you’re really okay.” You smiled and began to walk to him, nearing him like someone would neared a frightened horse. “Thank the Force…I thought, I mean I heard that something bad happened to you.”
He scoffed and a wry smile played on his dry lips. Anakin looked up at you and revealed his now golden and glimmering new hand—it eerily resembled a skeleton hand, it was so new and so odd that you couldn’t stop your eyes from widening. The way his arm would suddenly pause from the soft skin colors of the warm pales and the little pops of blue on his arm from his veins to show a dark contrast of blacks and golds. It took you back.
“Well, something bad did technically happen to me.” Anakin said and it seemed like he found some funny irony in his situation. You couldn’t though. You were in shock at Anakin’s new hand.
You didn’t want to pry but Anakin talked anyway,
”It was Dooku.” He said dryly, like he was reliving it. And then, you moved without thinking about it.
You immediately sat next to Anakin, letting his arms wrap around you as you comforted and held him. He let it all out; the new aching pains of his new arms, the new war, everything. How his good friend Padme nearly died and how Obi Wan discovered the clones, how his mother passed. It broke your heart, he didn’t deserve this.
Once his tears dried, Anakin shared his first ever kiss with you—a desperate kiss that simply said ‘I love you, please stay with me’. And there was no way you could reject him because you felt the same way. That told him you would be there for him despite the new hand and despite his new responsibilities.
It occurred to you that Anakin, in your present moment, as he hold you so dearly and so lovingly, he was repeating your own actions you had done way back then as Padawans. Whether he was doing it purposely, you didn’t know. But it was nice to know that he’d do the same for you as you’d done for him, so you were pretty content with the situation.
”Anakin.”
He looked down at you, the love in his eyes present as it always was. “Yes?”
You rubbed circles on the chest of his soft red robes, feeling a bit anxious. Remembering Master Plo’s teachings to relax a troubling and racing mind, you took a deep inhale before exhaling. You looked straight up at Anakin and gave him an unsure but uncontrollable smile,
“I’m pregnant.”
The world had stopped. Anakin’s grip had tighten significantly. You couldn’t help but feel anxious. Perhaps this wasn’t the right time? The right place? Maybe he didn’t want kids? You couldn’t read Anakin’s mind or his face and that scared you.
“Anakin?”
“You’re sure?” His deep voice began, sounding uncharacteristically unsure. Your short nod made Anakin stare down at your stomach, still normal and showing no signs of pregnancy.
His stillness was driving you insane
Then, it was if something sparked in his face and head. His face lit up and he suddenly held you in the air, spinning you like a man who, well, for the lack of better words had just received the news of his wife’s pregnancy.
“I can’t believe it! You’re pregnant!” He beamed, his face flushed red with happiness and joy. His joy was too hard to resist, making you grin and giggle bashfully at his sudden affection.
He soon peppered your face with long and short kisses, kissing every corner of your face to the point where you had to stop him with your hand—but even then his kisses didn’t stop, continuing kiss after kiss on your palm and the back of your hand.
“You’re—you’re amazing.” Anakin said, starstruck. You couldn’t help the shyness enveloping your senses as you looked away.
“I mean…” you murmured, feeling Anakin’s cheerfulness practically bounce around the room and replacing the once remorseful and sad atmosphere now with an atmosphere of glee and delight. No longer did you feel miserable; you felt hopeful. You, for once after the tragedy of Order 66, felt hope. You could really have a family, a chance at happiness with Anakin. You could help rebuild the Jedi. You could help the Jedi’s lost to the war live in.
“We have to tell Obi Wan. A-And then we gotta tell Rex and Ahsoka. I’m sure the nurse will let us see Rex. I think Padme will be happy, too. Do you think Windu will still mind it because of the rules?” Anakin rambled, too busy thinking about baby names already. You, in the meanwhile, felt ecstatic at the fact you could really have a happy ending even after all you and Anakin had endured. He must’ve felt your happiness, because he stopped his rambles and smiled that pretty boy smile.
Just with his smile, you could tell Anakin was over the moon.
Your next embrace was not desperate. It was knowing and adoring. Anakin’s strong arms held you for a long while, loving the feeling of how you molded into his chest like you two were simply meant to be together. It brought him so much joy—you in general brought him so much joy. If you hadn’t been there for him after Dooku and after Sidious, he would’ve been lost.
You were his angel, you had saved him emotionally. But despite how angelic you were, he knew you were human. And he loved you more for that—a wonderful human. A loving, caring and beautiful human. His wife, his love, his and only his. He still couldn’t believe that you really did love him in return. And now that you were about to give him a baby and give him a family? Anakin could feel his mom smile down at him.
Anakin’s hands soothed and trailed your back as his words and whispers soothed your ear. In a sweet moment, you leaned up and he leaned down so you two could share a tender kiss.
“You don’t have any idea how happy I am. You mean the world to me.” Anakin spoke in a deep voice. You smiled,
”You mean the world to me too, Ani.”
He smiled in return, “So…I was thinking about the baby’s name?”
Oh, this’ll be good. You decided to indulge him,
“Hm? Like what, Ani?”
“What about…Luke if it’s a boy and Leia if it’s a girl?”