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“Hey George!”
“Hey Nicholas! What’s up?”
“The lights, haha!” George faked his laugh. He swore it’s the driest laugh he ever let out. He did that because he didn’t want to leave Nicholas hanging and blush in embarrassment. “I was just wondering if you wanted to go for a post race break with me and Sandy. You can bring Carmen too!”
“Um… no… Carmen and I plan to go back to London after the briefing. Maybe next time.” Nicholas looked down his boots and uttered an “oh” before smiling. It looked sad, George thought.
“That’s alright! We four can go again some other time!”
“Yes, we all will…” George lied. He wasn’t going back to London with Carmen nor is he gonna say yes to Nicholas’ invites. George doesn’t know if anyone else sees it but he can tell that Nicholas is in love with him. From his “good morning” messages to a “good job today” every race, George can only conclude that Nicholas is indeed in love with him. As much as George wanted to deny it, it’s true.
How? When Sophie teased Nicholas about George leaving, he threw a hissy fit. When Jost jokingly said that he and George looked good together, the Canadian blushed. When George accidentally drank from his water bottle, Nicholas blushed, saying it’s alright and drank from it after. With this evidence, George now has a backbone to his conclusion: Yes, Nicholas is in love with him.
Unfortunately, George doesn’t feel that way. He only sees Nicholas as a senior to look up to, a friend. As much as it’ll hurt him to see Nicholas’ face turn gloomy and see his eyes turn into a faucet, George had to do it. If Nicholas confesses, he’ll have to reject him.
—
“George, can we talk?” Nicholas asked shyly as he peeked through George’s driver room. He was fanning himself off but upon seeing Nicholas, his hand slowly let the fan go and nodded his head. Nicholas smiled as he went inside of George’s room and left the door slightly open. George then turned around to face Nicholas, who was sitting on the couch in front of his stool. George waited for the Canadian to speak and boy did it take a while. Nicholas was fidgeting a lot.
“Nicky, whatever’s on your mind, let it out. I’m here.” George said as he sat there waiting. Truth be told, he was getting sick of waiting. Nicholas took a deep breath and finally asked George the million dollar question.
“Would you go on a vacation with me?”
“What?”
“Just me, you and Charles along with our friends!” Nicholas said with a smile and a look of a child. He looked cute, George thought. Wait, vacation? He’s asking me to go on a vacation with him? George’s brain asked as he sat there, dumbfounded. He had completely forgotten about the part where Charles and some friends are also coming to the trip.
Nicholas turned red and turned to the side, fidgeting with his fleece sleeve more than he hoped for. Silence fell on the room. George wanted to speak. He really wanted to. He wanted to say no. He wanted to say that it’s not a good idea. He wanted to say that Nicholas shouldn’t ask his teammate to go on a holiday with him.
“George…?” George grounded back to Earth as Nicholas looked at him helplessly. Nicholas’ face read worry and George’s stomach churned in guilt. Is it really okay for him to say yes? Is it okay for him to let this man have hope that George likes him? Does George want to give Nicholas false hope?
No, I don’t because I swear I’ll only make him cry…
“I’m sorry Nicholas but I have plans with my family this summer break. I’m sorry.” Nicholas’ face went from worry to sadness. He slowly looked away from George. George’s heart dropped. He wanted to hug him. He wanted to tell him sorry over and over like he’s a broken record. He wanted to say that he’s lying and was only running away from him. But George did neither and looked down at his feet. Silence fell on the room again.
“It’s okay, George. Family comes first, right?” George looked up to see Nicholas smiling that sad smile again. George’s vision started to get blurry. When Nicholas stood up and went towards the door, he looked one last time at George. George was taken back when he heard a sniffle and saw Nicholas’ tear streaked face. He looked so small, George thought. Nicholas, accompanied by his sad smile, said-
“I like you George but I can tell that you don’t like me back,” Nicholas’ tears continued to roll down but he chuckled. “But I’ll try anyway. I’ll wait for you anyway. It hurts but I’ll wait for you to fall for me.”
And with that Nicholas closed the door and George’s tears started rolling down his cheeks. He cried as he covered his face with his hands, desperately trying to muffle his sobbing.
Oh, Nicky… I knew I’d make you cry…