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His sleep was plagued with visions of sandy brown hair caught between his knuckles, nails full of blood and skin, and a busted lip, dripping blood and spit all over previously cleaned sheets.
He dreamed of loud, mewling moans echoing through a dark and empty house.
Of a bed slamming into a wall.
Of a man underneath him, calling..
Someone else's name?
Why would he be?--
Torn out of this wonderous illusion, his eyes opened to nothing but a pitch-black room.
He could hear the crickets chirping away outside his window.
And, faintly, he could hear something else.
Tom sat up, straining to listen.
Careful bumps and thuds.
What.. was going on?
His bed frame squeaked as he got up.
He felt weightless as he stumbled through the dark, hands clutching at doorknobs and doorframes- completely and utterly lost, even in his own home.
As he wandered closer, feeling the rough hardwood beneath his feet, his gut began to fill with dread.
The thuds got louder.
He heard voices.
When he pressed against the door, he wondered if it were a nightmare.
The creaking of his bed, the thudding as it hit the wall- the loud, saccharin moans and the slapping of skin.
Some nonsensical part of him wondered if it was just another one of his toys, like before.
Despite the dark anguish in his gut, he found himself shivering at the idea.
He decided that was it.
He could.. he could burst in again.
He could wait for Tord to call out his name and run in again and save him--
God, hed love to see the fucking look on his face when, again, he failed.
Failed and needed to be rescued.
When he finally would admit that Tom helped him- that he needed him.
He slipped a hand between his legs.
He felt his cock throb against his palm.
Fuck.
Another loud mewl slipped under the door.
With a loud exhale, he pushed harder against it- hoping he could meld into it.
Hoping he could hear him louder.
Clearer.
Screaming his name.
Slumping against the hard wood, his hand dove into his pants without even thinking.
He hissed when it was exposed to cold air, but the warm feeling of his hand sliding along his cock made up for it tenfold.
He stayed poised like that for what felt like hours, straining his ears to listen and to keep his breathing low- jacking himself off shamelessly to his roomates private moans of ecstasy.
When he came, it was hard to keep quiet.
He had to bit down onto his tongue to keep from even letting out a breath harder than he was supposed to.
He covered the tip of his dick with his hand and spilled his soul against his palm.
With soft splatters it hit the floor, seeping through the gaps of his fingers.
When he woke up again, he heard the morning birds singing away happily, much to his own dismay.
What had occured last night came rushing back to him, and he was fairly relieved to realize that it was nothing but another stupid, stupid wet dream.
Tord hadnt went and fucked someone else.
It disgusted him how much weight was lifted off his shoulders with that revelation.
Tord had stated he wanted to be left alone-
That whatever piss poor attempt at a relationship they had needed to end.
And it wasnt like Tom had forgotten that either, because it played on fucking repeat in his head.
That entire scene did.
Tord, illuminated by the moonlight and the faint yellow glow of the cigarette wedged between his fingers, back so tense and body slumped forward, lips mouthing the words that had haunted Tom ever since.
How sad his silver eyes shone.
How absolutely heart wrenching it was to see such a small frown on his pink lips.
How quickly he left after.
A million different versions of that moment played out in his head every night for the past fucking Month that it had been.
Ones where Tord kissed him.
Ones where he kissed Tord.
And ones where neither of them kissed- and instead they sat in uncomfortable silence at eachothers confessions.
Those ones hurt the most.
Mostly because of how realistic they were.
If he had told Tord his feelings that night-- would it have mattered?
Would he have shared the same resolve?
Were those feelings even real then, or were they just his libido talking in turn of his brain?
Surely they were real now.
They had to be.
Because Tord was on his mind every fucking second of every fucking day.
If he wasnt in love, then he was fucking dying.
Which, honestly, he didnt know which one was worse at this point.
One thing at a time.
Begrudingly, he got out of bed.
His body ached and when he stretched he swore up and down he broke his fucking spine with how many cracks and snaps he heard.
His feet found hard wood underneath him and, eventually, he managed to actually gather the strength to stand.
The table that was shoved haphazardly into their kitchen was full, as always, with the early risers, Edd and Tord.
He wasnt entirely sure how they both managed to get up so early all the time, seeing how Edd was almost always drawing late into the night and Tord stayed up night upon night to work on his stupid fucking projects.
But whatever.
They were, and it annoyed him, but hed get over it.
With a grunt, he walked past them to begin making his own breakfast while the two enjoyed theirs.
Edd said something about how he got up early and Tom flipped him off in response.
He heard Edd laugh behind him.
Prick.
It was far too early to deal with something as fidgety as their half-broken toaster, so he sat down with just a bagel instead.
Smeared with cream cheese, of course.
Tom was happily greeted by a far too chatty Edd, who he wished had just stayed quiet like he was earlier- and a near silent Tord.
He was tapping away at his phone, breakfast plate already finished and pushed to the side.
And thats when his eyes caught them.
Yellowing bruises hidden just under his rat nest of hair.
"What the fuck are those?"
His voice was rougher than he meant it to be, and he saw how Edd jumped at the aggression he so blatantly threw on the table.
Tords eyes slowly pulled from the phone to stare at Tom, a blank look, like he was processing what he was saying still.
"Oh,"
He muttered, fingers dusting at the oddly shaped bruises.
"Nothing really."
His heart dropped.
Nothing?
Tords only response was that it was nothing?
"Clearly fucking not,"
How he growled out the words clearly caught Tords attention, which had shifted moments prior to his phone once again.
"Who are you texting?"
Tords face screwed.
"Why would you want to know?"
His silver eyes slid up and down Toms body, and the look of indignantion and near-disgust that he fixed him with made Tom want to fucking punch him.
Thats when Edd inturrupted.
When Tom had his mouth open and ready to retort-
He figured he would have eventually intervened, but it pissed him off to unimaginable amounts how he decided to steer the conversation.
"Woah! Tord! Those look pretty rough,"
Edd scooted closer, and the way the chair squeaked across the tiles--
By the end of this conversation, someone was going to have a bloody nose.
"How was she?"
He asked that with this stupid smile on his face, nudging Tord with his elbow like he could shove it out of him.
"Oh, ah.."
Tord put his phone down and rubbed at the back of his neck.
"Fine, I suppose."
Something about the way he said it..
It was awkward and rolled out uncomfortably- Tom immediately knew he wasnt telling the truth, and an unfortunate memory of last night resurfaced.
It had clicked why Tord sounded so unnatural here.
Because it wasnt a woman.
Edd and Tord both nearly jumped from their skin when Toms hands slammed against the table.
He was seething.
It was a dark, twisted knot that laid where his stomach once was, and his heart stung.
Physically stung.
Like he would die from jealousy- or, fuck, maybe this was just a heart attack.
Whatever piss poor God had made him was seeing this pathetic display and decided that Tom was just going to further embarass him if he continued to live.
A heart attack would be a pitiful way to go, though.
Tom heard Edd call for him when he stormed off to his room, but he knew that if he had turned around this situation was just going to get worse.
It felt good to be angry, to be jealous, but it wasnt his right to be.
Him and Tord werent together.
Tom had screwed up any chance of that happening.
When he was back in the safety of his own room, ignoring his growling stomach, he let out all his frustrations at once.
By kicking the wall as hard as he could.
Honestly, he was surprised he didnt fucking break his toes.
"Fuck!"
The loud roar ripped from him on impulse, and when he sat down to try and get off of the pulsing appendage, he heard someone at the door scurry away.
Probably Edd.
Hed have to apologize for that later.
Once he got done cursing out his toe, for the damage he had inflicted, he fell back onto the bed, setting his foot back down onto the floor.
He stared at the ceiling.
There was no reason for him to get that jealous.
He fucked it up.
He did this to himself.
They had been moving on- well, Tord had been.
They had fucking joked with eachother the other day.
Tord said some stupid pun, and everything in Tom had melted, and he laughed with him.
Things had been healing.
So whyd he have to go and fuck it up again.
The knock on his door alerted him to the cold sensation of tears running down his face.
He sat up quick and rubbed at his sockets, cursing pitifully beneath his breath.
"What do you want?"
His breath caught in his chest when he heard the accented voice on the other side.
"You do realize its still nine in the morning, right?"
Oh. Shit.
Yeah, it was.
"Sorry, ill keep it down."
There was a brief pause.
"May I come in?"
Oh dear jesus christ, no.
The last person he needed to see was Tord.
Not after that public display of humiliation.
"Yeah, sure."
When he opened the door, all residual anger left him.
Tord had looked at him with this look- this soft look- that screamed concern.
That told him 'We need to Talk.'
He felt himself shrivel under it.
He begged, inwardly, for Tord to not close that door.
For him not to step in.
For him to not fucking say--
"Thomas."
He felt his heart crush.
He might actually puke this time.
All light left the room when he closed the door, and Tom was very quickly reminded of all the things they had done in the dark.
Not just the sex- but the kissing, the hand holding, the cuddling.
The laughter, the teasing..
He couldnt catch the sigh before it left him.
"So who was he?"
Tom figured that it was better to make the relationship unrepairable rather than try to fix it when they both knew that it would never be the same.
And he knew he was doing exactly that when he saw how Tord rolled his entire body and sighed, angry and exasperated.
"Fy faen.. thats not--"
His nose curled as he pinched the bridge of it.
"Im not going to be doing this with you."
"So youd do this with someone else?"
Tord shot him a look.
"What the hells that supposed to mean?"
To be honest, Tom didnt quite know what it meant either.
Sounded better in his head.
"Theres a reason your not telling me,"
He slowly got up, hand against his nightstand to support him.
He watched Tords expression darken with each step he took forward.
He wasnt much taller than Tord, but it felt like he was nothing but a shadow under him now.
"Yes, there is."
Tord folded his arms.
"Its someone I know, isnt it?"
The norwegian quickly abandoned his posture, throwing his arms up in the air as he yelled.
"This isnt about the bruises, Thomas!"
"Well if youd just fucking tell me--!"
This was the first time Tord had initiated a kiss like this.
This was also the first time Tom melted into him.
He felt his bandaged fists pull harder at the collar of his shirt, and he felt as it stretched and threatened to break as Tord snapped him down to pull him in even deeper.
They were very quickly all over eachother, Toms hands pulling at Tords tufts and Tords free hand scratching the small of his back as they stumbled backwards to the bed.
Tom fell, while Tord crawled on top- neither of them daring to break the kiss that held them together.
That was, until Tom started to see stars.
When his face had turned bright red and his lungs began to contract, only then did he pull away.
Huffing and puffing, watching as Tord wheezed, desperately clawing at his own shirt.
His face was so red and his eyes looked so narrowed and pointed, darting everywhere as he tried, and struggled, to unclothe himself.
Tom was happy to help, sliding his hands over his, lips finding their way to his jaw.
"Gah-- i ffucking- hate you,"
Tord shuddered on top of him.
Tom gulped down the drool that accumulated from just hearing that moan of his.
"Quit fucking--"
The whine Tom let out when hands pushed his face away was embarrassingly needy, and he hated the way it made him feel.
That was forgotten when he felt the same hands grab his hair and shove him into soft tissue.
"Busy yourself."
Tom groaned around his nipple, reveling in the way it felt so warm pressed against his tongue.
Reveling in the way Tord had a full-body shiver when he bit down.
"Fuh-ck."
It was such a helpless gasp, encouraging in all the right ways.
He smoothed his tongue over it again, savoring the taste of sweat on his lips.
Another soft groan from Tord and he was pulling away-
Only to get shoved right back against his skin, cheek pressed hard into the dip of his chest.
"I didnt tell you to stop, now did I?"
"Since when did i need your permission,"
Tom bit back, feeling Tords fingers tighten against the back of his head.
He returned the favor, fingers pressing deep into the soft flesh just beneath his ribs.
He watched Tord hiss and flinch, taking in a sharp breath of air.
"Since you decided to start fucking ignoring me."
Tom flinched.
He stopped, pulling away from the heavy bruise he was leaving on the mound of his pec.
"Ignoring you?"
He saw the wrinkle of distaste form in Tords face- he saw that evil little fucking glint in his eyes that he always had when he was pissed at him.
He felt Tords fingers flex in his hair, like he was deciding whether to pull away or pull out a chunk.
"I havent been fucking-"
"Oh really!"
Tord cut him off like he was expecting it.
Tom found himself pushed fully against the bed in seconds, grunting as the air left him.
"You havent, have you?"
His voice was raising, setting off a spark of anger deep in Tom.
"No! I havent!"
He growled back, attempting to get up again.
Tord slammed his hands into Toms chest and, once again, Tom was wheezing and gasping for breath, this time in a much more unpleasant way.
"Okay, great!,"
Tords fingers splayed on his chest.
Tom groaned as he felt him grind his hips down.
"So you havent been intentionally ignoring everything i say!"
Tord exhaled long and slow as he rutted his hips again, this time heavier, slower.
"Youve just.. f-forgotten how to make eye contact too."
He tried to remember every instance he had forgotten, but Tord ruthlessly grinding down on the tent in his pants was, very clearly, making it hard.
"I-I dont.. ngh, know what your talking about."
Tords thighs clenched around his abdomen, rutting forward harshly- Tom felt as the scratchy fabric of his boxers rubbed awkwardly against the head of his cock.
"Aa-h- ffuck, cant we.. p-ause for a second?"
Tord didnt seem to like that, judging by the way there were hands covering Toms mouth in mere seconds.
He tried to shout against it, eyes opening to glare at the man perched atop him.
He was shut up, again, by fingers that pushed invasively between his lips.
"Weve been over this a few times, im sure you know what to do."
The temptation to bite down was strong.
But he figured hed swallow it for now; just like how he swallowed around the fingers pressed against his tongue.
He felt Tord shift and move above him, and watched through glaring eyes as he meticulously pulled off his sweats, muttering to himself in a language Tom so desperately wanted to understand.
If not to be closer to Tord, just to be able to hear whatever the fuck he moaned out so often.
"Your a pain in my fucking side,"
He hissed, nose scrunched and brows knitted.
Tom tried to speak around the intrusions in his mouth- he gagged when Tord shoved them in deeper.
"Shut Up."
Eyes narrowed in on him.
"Listen to me when I talk to you."
Thats when he actually bit down.
Immediately, Tord retreated, hissing and spitting.
Before lurching forward to grab a knotful of his hair and slam him back down- he hated how he wasnt sure if that cry he produced was out of pain or pleasure.
All he knew was that his vision blurred with tears, and his breath was hot as he growled, gripping the thin wrist Tord held him down with.
"Ohh,"
Tord cooed, smile curled up into a sneer.
"Your pitiful."
He took him by the chin, face lingering far too close.
Tom felt that if he could just reach up hed bite that fucking wrinkled, cute ass nose of his straight off.
"I was going to be nice to you too, what a shame."
"This-"
Tom grated out,
"Is your version of n-ice?"
"Its as close as im willing to be."
There came a sense of relief as his hair was finally released, sighing out as the shrieking pain in his head ceased.
Tom tried to take a moment to himself to breath in refreshing air and ground himself- but Tord had other ideas.
He felt the bed sink around him, and soon, his vision went darker.
Greeted by the amazing sight that was Tords spread thighs, naked and bare, leering over him.
"How comfortable are you with your tongue?"
That caught him offguard.
It took him a moment to really think about it; looking around at the view laid out before him.
Tords pillowy ass perched precariously above his face, legs settled tight against either side of his head, and freed cock happily dripping pre down onto his collarbone.
".. very,"
Was his answer.
Tom didnt wait another moment before he was hungrily pushing himself up by his elbows.
It was satisfying the way Tord jumped as he bit his skin, hurrying to leave at least one bruise before Tord would, seconds later, tell him to knock it off.
Which happened in the form of a norwegian curse, and a very sharp, "Thomas."
Tom was happy to see Tord start settling into a more comfortable position, instructing him with a hiss to, "get on the bed."
He was even happier to do so, pushing himself full onto his bed, legs laid out in front of them as he watched Tord bend over--
He felt bandaged fingers wrap around his ankles.
He saw probing fingers spread himself wide.
And he saw the glint of a silver eye staring back at him, squinted and out of focus, peering around his shoulder.
"Fuck."
He had done this before, with previous partners, but he couldnt quite place if any of them were as eager as Tord- who, at the first press of his tongue, was letting out a very thin whine.
"Is this okay?"
Tord flinched against his breath.
Tom had to resist the urge to do it again.
"Didnt I tell you to shut up?"
That was enough confirmation he needed, settling on dragging his hot tongue across his eager entrance.
Hands cupping his thighs, thumbs dug deep into his skin- Tom had effectively forgotten everything they were talking about before.
He was far too busy listening to Tord whimper as he slipped in his tongue, probing velvety walls.
He felt a hard shiver run beneath his fingertips, listening as he drew out a quiet moan, feeling as he pressed back- feeling as his thighs quivered with effort.
He hugged him closer, an arm snaking between his legs, grasping the others hard shaft.
"Dritt!"
What a stupid fucking word.
To distract himself from the chuckle stuck halfway in his throat, he did a slow test pump- and when another long moan was drawn out, he let himself get more comfortable.
Fucking him with his hand and his tongue, he knew the poor bastard wouldnt last long.
If not judging on how quickly he spent himself their last two times, then by the way he was struggling to keep any noise in now, fingernails scratching his poor ankles to shreds as his body jerked.
He pressed his tongue in deep, feeling spit drip off his chin- when Tord finally folded.
"Fffuck! Okay!-- thats- thats enough. Fuck."
He tried to hide the satisfaction he got from the whimper that left him when he pulled away.
Tom fell back as Tord pulled himself together, sitting still on his legs.
He could see his entire body shift and shake with each heave he took trying to calm himself.
The thought of what his face looked like right now did wonders at keeping his dick up.
Which was now beginning to hurt- no longer in any good way either.
"Tord, can I.."
His fingers slid across his waistband.
He was met with a growl and a glare.
But not any demand to keep them on.
So as soon as he was off his lap and legs, he was tearing them off himself, yanking down both his bottoms and his boxers in one fell swoop.
He was sure he looked stupid, floundering on the bed to try and wrestle them off his feet.
"Impatient,"
The other chided, earning himself a quick glare from Tom.
"Oh yeah? You didnt seem to mind last time--"
He honestly expected to be pushed this time.
He just didnt expect to feel Tord clambering on top of him so fast.
"I swear to fucking god, if you open your mouth one more time."
"Your gonna what? Fuck me?"
Tom wasnt too keen on how harshly Tord grabbed at such a sensitive area, but all was quickly forgiven when he felt himself be pressed against Tord entrance, still slick with spit.
Biting his lip, his hands found their way to his hips, digging his fingers into soft flesh.
He was surprised that nothing was said between them, expecting another shitty remark from the other-
But looking up was a mistake.
Seeing him poised above him on one hand, skin glossy with sweat, biting his lip so intensely as he lined himself up- concentrating so hard on such a menial little task..
"Tord."
The firmness, the gentleness- it must have caught him off guard.
Tords eyes lit up, looking down at him with this sort of worry that drive him mad.
Like he was in trouble.
Like he cared.
He kissed him carefully this time, pushed up on his elbows as his hands helped to spread his thighs wider.
Tord stiffened.
He felt it in the way his muscles tightened.
And then, with a swipe of a tongue, he came loose, hard muscle turning to putty in his hands as he groaned.
Tord was addicting.
Tom was just beginning to understand that.
He groaned against an open-mouth as Tord pushed his hips down.
They had to pull away then, Tord quickly occupying the empty space in his neck.
Breath hitching into his ear.
He felt goosebumps along his arms, holding him tight as he edged himself down.
"Nfh.. g-good boy,"
He felt Tord shiver,
"Good boy."
"Nnguh-- t-thomas."
He forced him to take the rest of his length then, partly because he knew he could take it- if their experiences taught him anything, it was that Tord fucking loved pain- and partly because that pitiful little whine of his name nearly made him tear his lip off.
And, obviously, he had to punish him for it.
He just didnt think hed be punishing himself as well, a loud moan ripping clean from Tords chest.
They both had the same thought- as one of each of their hands had clamped themselves tight over Tords mouth.
Tord, more because he was embarassed, and Tom more because the others were still in the fucking house.
A long moment went by like that- both completely frozen in time, staring wide eyed at eachother.
Listening.
Straining their ears.
Silently praying that no one heard.
Tom broke first.
It started as a small chuckle he so desperately tried to break in-
And then he was falling apart completely, struggling to keep his eyes open as he laughed.
Tord joined soon after.
He wasnt exactly sure when he had slipped out, but it didnt matter.
Holding him close was enough for him.
Hearing his laugh again was enough.
He felt Tord pressed against his neck, snorting and giggling with reckless abandon, balled up fists on his chest.
Hitting at him.
Dully thumping against his skin.
Laughing in the exact same way he did before all of this nonsense happened.
The kiss caught them both off guard; even if Tom was the one who first leaned in.
It shut Tord up completely.
And as much as he loved hearing him laugh, Tom loved kissing him more.
Feeling the warmth of his cheek as he ran his thumb over it.
The muscles in his back moving as he shifted above him.
How gentle he kissed and touched him: so foreign and so yet so familiar.
Kissing him before always hurt.
Sharp teeth ripped holes in already scabbed lips and clacked hard against duller ones.
So this was new.
The was new.
The feeling of Tords hands running so softly over his body, like they were there to touch and not to harm, was also new.
The fluttering in his stomach, the skipping of his heart- those werent.
They werent new at all.
Tom didnt share any more words with him, finding solace only in the breathless silence of kissing him.
Tord seemed to understand.
He took initiative again, much more carefully this time.
Lining him back up with delicate fingers, and pushing it into him with a quiet, drawling moan.
Tom wrapped his arms tight around his waist, deciding to let Tord take every inch at his own pace.
Ignoring how the cold nipped at such sensitive areas, and how it almost pained him to take it so slow.
When Tord was seated firmly against his lap, their lips finally parted.
Empty eyes found silver eyes.
It was a long time before either of them spoke again.
"Tom."
The suddeness of it scared him.
He could feel his stomach twist.
"I.."
Tords lips quivered.
That scared him.
There was another moment of silence before Tom pushed forward to capture his lips once more.
Scared of what he could say.
This kiss was shorter.
"Please, can we just.."
His voice sounded pitiful.
But, still, Tord nodded in agreement.
The first roll of his hips sent a shivering wave of relief and pleasure across his body.
Tom pressed his forehead against Tords chest, arms still pulled tight around his waist. He felt Tords hands rub along his upper arms and shoulders, quietly panting into Toms reddened ear.
It was slow, methodical dance- A long roll of pale hips and a sharp buck of darker ones.
He groaned hard against his collar, mouthing at the thin skin.
Feeling Tord shiver as teeth scraped skin.
"You feel so good,"
Tom rasped against his skin, open mouth hovering over his adams apple.
When he closed his lips around it, sucking hard against his skin, he felt it thrum and twitch as Tord moaned.
His noises were quiet but straining- he was visibly working hard to keep them down.
"Fæn.."
Another rough noise from Tord, face screwed in both pleasure in pain.
He watched as his lips stuttered open and closed.
"Im.. fuck, Tom, i think i-m.."
Tom chuckled.
Tords eyes snapped open to glare down at him, nose wrinkled.
He opened his mouth, to which Tom quickly cut him off.
"Then cum for me, love."
There was a flash of.. something in Tords eyes, briefly, before they were squeezing shut.
He watched as his mouth opened, as he bared his teeth so hard and yet still- sound came through.
A gritty, crackling sob.
Tom stared at him through the entire climax, watching his features twitch and shake.
Watching him.
Pressed hard against his lap, fingers pushing deep into the back of his neck, thick strings of come painting Toms stomach.
Tords head knocked against Toms as his jaw finally unlocked, heavy, rattling gasps of breath filling the room.
Tom didnt move an inch, simply letting Tord lay their foreheads together as he caught his breath.
There was another shattered breath.
Then he swallowed, and gently nodded.
Tom took him by the waist, rough hands sinking into soft flesh as he shifted their bodies.
Pressing him into the bed below.
Pushing his body against one already spent.
Fucking him as fast and rough as hed liked- blank eyes open, staring down at the man below, watching Tord shove fingers into his own mouth to bite and muffle.
He decided to kiss him instead.
Loose and sloppy, moaning into eachothers mouths, feeling the others hot breath against his face.
Feeling as his stomach tightened.
As his thrusts got messier.
As Tord body clenched.
A rush of sound left him as he came, letting all his breath leave him at once as he pushed deep inside.
Tords shaky legs tightened around his waist, and while he could break the grip with ease-- he chose, instead, to let it be his excuse for forcing his body against him; groaning, rutting roughly into him.
Until the waves of euphoria crashed.
And so did his body.
"Unfh! Fæn meg!"
Weak hands pushed at his body,
"Get-ffucking- ung.. get off!"
Tords body stiffened when tom snickered into his ear.
"Im, ah, going.. just."
The warmth spread comfortably along his body.
He nuzzled deeper into his neck, to the chagrin of Tord, and breathed in the scent.
It was gross.
It was sweaty and gross and everything smelled like sex and spit.
But that wasnt why he pulled away-
He pulled away because, when he set his lips on Tords, it made him melt all over again.
Despite the initial fuss he gave when he first pressed them together.
"Tom, im, ah, not--"
Tord spoke between wet kisses,
"Sshhh.."
Tom cooed out, the hush dying out against Tords maw.
He seemed to settle after that.
Seemed to realize this wasnt just another round of fucking.
But that Tom just wanted to kiss him.
The chirp of a phone broke them from their trance; both completely mesmerized by the soft and gentle presses of lips against skin.
Tom groaned.
He reached over and patted the nightstand, searching for his phone with his face still pressed into the others Neck.
He clicked it on and flinched at the glaring light.
It was some stupid app reminding him to drink water.
His mouth did feel dry.
Tord didnt speak a word as he pulled out; as he massaged his thighs with gentle presses of his thumbs.
Tord didnt speak a single word even as Tom shoved on pants and a shirt and left.
And even when presented with a full glass of crisp, cold water- he still didnt speak.
He stayed completely silent, fuzzy eyes staring down at his lap, still quivering fingers holding the glass so delicately it could fall at any moment.
But then a sign of life in him started, as he jumped when Tom brushed fingers through his hair and kissed his head.
Those gray eyes targeted him.
They held no emotion and yet, Tom knew immediately what he wanted--
Some kind of explanation.
".. you know its really hot when you take control like that- Ow! Fuck!"
Tord may have looked weak in the moment, but the punch to his arm was telling him that he probably shouldnt push too hard.
"Stop being a jackass,"
Tord hissed.
"Fine. Fine."
Tom conceded.
Taking in big, burning gulps of the ice cold water- he tried to compile a list of what he needed to say.
He needed to confess, for one.
He needed to make sure Tord knew he was the fuck up here, not him.
Needed to tell him how.. fucking sorry he was for ruining everything.
For yelling at him.
For assuming things.
"You.. uh. You seeing anyone?"
"Okay, Tom."
Panic immediately began to surge as he watched Tord firmly pressed his hands to the bed.
"Ill be leaving, if thats all you have to-"
"I like you too!"
A pause.
Tord sat back down.
".. okay. Im listening."
"I,"
Tom started, then stopped.
"You,"
Tords eyes narrowed at that.
Tom swallowed.
He felt his heart in his throat.
"I.. have feelings for you,"
The words were awkward and clunky.
He tried to gesture with his hands to make it flow better- it didnt help.
"Uh, besides. Sexual."
He was watched Tords expression slowly grow more and more irritated.
"They arent.. uhm. New. I was just.. scared to, uh, tell you, i guess- last time--"
"Nf!"
Tord grabbed his chin.
"Teit."
The malice that was held in his eyes spoke volumes.
"This is your last chance. Get your fucking foot out of your mouth or im leaving."
It was a little hard to nod with such a firm grip, but Tord did finally let go once he managed it.
The first thing he did was take in a deep breath.
He wasnt sure if he could talk without fucking it up.
But he looked up.
And looked into his eyes.
He felt himself physically relax into his body, felt his thoughts slow down enough to grasp a couple words.
He just hoped they were enough.
".. im sorry."
Tord swallowed.
He nodded.
The anger had left him.
He reached over, smoothing a hand over Toms bruised knuckles.
"I am too."
Slowly, tom scooped up his hand, and brought it to his mouth to kiss gently at the back.
"If.. you want to, you know, continue this,"
He spoke against the thin bones of his hand.
"I would.. love to try and be something more official with you."
There was a pause.
".. if you arent seeing someone."
"What makes you think im seeing someone?"
Tords head tilted to the side.
His hand turned, his fingers slid across Toms scratchy jaw.
"The hickeys on your neck."
Tords hand froze for a moment.
His eyes flickered, like they were trying to look at the bruises he was talking about.
Then he laughed.
"Dumbass. I was being serious when i said theyre nothing."
He clearly must have seen how confused Tom looked, because he adopted a more caring look in seconds.
"Ugh, okay, look,"
Tord sighed.
He ran a hand over his cheek.
Fingers brushed his bottom lid.
"I was.. experimenting with another invention of mine."
Tom blinked.
Tords fingers twitched away from the tickling lashes.
"One that.. leaves hickeys?"
The norsk quickly grew to look more uncomfortable with the topic.
He retracted his hand, smoothing it over his thigh instead.
"Uhm, no. Not exactly."
Tom didnt speak.
Just fixed him with a scrutinizing stare.
".. okay, fine. Listen, i.."
Tords nose curled as he slowly slid back onto the bed, until he was laying down, head turned away from Tom.
"It was supposed to.. choke me. I, uh, it didnt--"
His lips flattened into a thin line.
".. it was a bust. So."
Looking at the bruises now, it made sense.
They werent spread around- they were patchy and gross, yes, but they followed a line if someone looked hard enough.
But that didnt explain everything Tom saw that night.
He prodded more.
"But i-- I thought i heard you--"
The words died off in Toms throat before he could finish them.
Because Tord was looking at him like he was a nut job.
"Tom, im being honest. If you heard anything, you heard me suffocating."
He chuckled.
"Are you sure you didnt just have a wet dream?"
"No, i- but that doesnt explain why I--"
Tords brow shot up.
"Why you what?"
Suddenly, Tom didnt feel like talking anymore.
"W-why I.. uh. Thats not important."
He thought hed prod more.
Tord always did- always made sure to press every single button just to wring every drop of information out of a person.
Which is why it surprised him when, with a quiet sigh, he dropped it.
"Your right."
Shaking hands dove into messed hair.
"Its not important."
He pursed his lips.
Tom sat in silence- there was more to be said, he didnt want to open his big mouth and ruin it again.
".. no. Im not, hah,"
Tord looked up, a crack of a smile on his face, and lighter eyes.
"Im not seeing anyone."
".. would you.. would you like to?"
"Yes, Thomas, I.. I think I would."